Pregnancy and Infant Loss

Parents

A resource to support parentswhose baby has died before,

during or soon after birth

Services to Help You:There are many organisations available to provide support during this difficult time. Everyone is an individual and will respond to different help and advice. It is important to find an organisation that meets your needs.

There are other counselling and support services available through qualified practitioners which the Maternity Services Unit at your local hospital or your GP can refer you to.

Australian Multiple Birth Association www.amba.org.au Tel: 1300 886 499

Bears of Hopewww.bearsofhope.org.au Tel: 130011HOPE for grief support

Bereavement Care Centre www.bereavementcare.com.au Tel: 1300 654 556

Open Doors Counselling and Education Serviceswww.opendoors.com.auTel: 1800 647 995

Pillars of Strengthwww.pillarsofstrength.com.au

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Research and Information (PILARI)www.pilari.org

Pregnancy Loss Australiawww.pregnancylossaustralia.org.auTel: 1300 720 942

SIDS and KIDS NSWwww.sidsandkidsnsw.orgTel:1800 651 186

healthdirect Australia1800 022222A 24-hour government health information and advice line.

Grieflinkwww.grieflink.org.au

Little Angels Memory Boxes (LAMB)www.littleamb.org.auTel: 1300 305 595

National Association for Loss and Griefwww.nalag.org.au Tel: 02 9489 6644

Heartfeltwww.heartfelt.org.auTel: 1800 583 768

Mums Like Mewww.mumslikeme.orgTel: 0422 133 328

Yasminah’s Gift of Hopewww.ygoh.org.au

Stillbirth Foundationwww.stillbirthfoundation.org.auTel: 02 9967 3229

The Compassionate Friends NSW Inc.www.thecompassionatefriends.org.auTel: 02 9290 2355

SANDS http://www.sands.org.au/

Pregnancy, Birth & Baby Helpline1800 88 24 36You can ring the helpline any time of the day or night, 7 days a week. Further Information:

NSW Health resources

Information for parents about the post-mortem examination of a stillborn baby www.health.nsw.gov.au/pubs/2007/pdf/post_mortem_1.pdf

SHPN (NKF) 120303

Events are held on or around the 15th of Oct each year For an up to date list of these events across Australia, visit: www.15october.com.au

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

What you should know: What you can do: The loss of a baby at any time is one of the most devastating and personally unique experiences any parent can go through. As a bereaved parent you will experience deep grief and a mixture of emotions.

Although you may feel very alone at this moment; many families have been through similar experiences of loss and understand the need to be comforted and supported at this difficult time.

The first few days:

In the days after the loss of your baby, you will have to cope with deep grief and a mixture of emotions as well as the physical aspects of the postnatal period.

You may have to make many decisions about things you never imagined. No decisions will be easy to make, when all you want is to have your baby alive again.

You may need information and facts about why your baby died:

• Discuss a post mortem, so you may know why your baby died.

• Ask for information and facts about pregnancy loss.

• Understand your legal obligation.

– At different stages of pregnancy, there are different legal requirements and choices.

– If your baby was born when you were 20 weeks pregnant or more, or weighed at least 400 grams, or if he or she took a breath after the birth then you are legally required to have him or her cremated or buried in a cemetery. You are also required to register your baby with the registry of births, deaths and marriages. The social worker at the hospital can help you with this process.

Don’t tackle this alone - Speak with hospital staff about the organisations and services available.Remember - there are no wrong questions at this time.

Spend time with your baby and create memories:

Take your time: hold, bathe and dress your baby; prepareto say goodbye.

Consider if siblings, grandparents, etc and close friends may like to meet your baby. Tell older children what to expect, and encourage them to see the baby. Let them cuddle the baby if they want to.

Create memories which you will cherish in years to come such as take a lock of hair, footprints and handprints and record your baby’s name and story. If possible have someone take photographs of you with your baby.

Name your baby, no matter how short his or her life was.

A blessing or special ceremony acknowledges your baby and marks the dignity and importance of his or her life. • A service can be held regardless of how old baby was

at birth, or how baby died. You can have a small, informal ceremony at home, church, hospital or somewhere special to you.

Take your time:

Don’t feel pressure to make decisions quickly. Take time to consider your options: go with what you feel is right.

Everyone grieves differently:

Grieving a baby is hard because others may not acknowledge the depth of your loss.

To help yourself and each other, know that grief is real, normal and that you should feel free to grieve as long as you need.

Each person deals with grief in their own way, and this should be respected.

Parents experience loss in different ways - men and women grieve differently.

It’s okay to talk of your loss and find solace in the understanding of strangers.

Right now and in the months to come, you may feel very sad and empty, longing for your baby. You may feel very angry, guilty, frightened or bewildered. These feelings are all painful but normal.

Grieving is exhausting: be gentle and don’t expect too much of yourself.

As time goes by, the pain will lessen. When you start to cope with loss and accept it, this means you are finding ways to live with it.

Respect and support each other. Ask each other what would help most: time alone; a hug; talking about feelings; or some distraction. Ask for support from others when you need it.