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The Friendship and Fellowship Of the Gospel, Part 2Philemon 4-5 May 22, 2005 Introduction Perhaps the most troubling thing about churches in America today is and Ive said this too many times to count is individualism. We have been so overpowered by our culture which emphasizes me instead of others, that it has crept into the church, largely unnoticed. People come to get what they want out of church. The parents come to get what they feel they need, and their kids come to get what they feel they need. We, speaking of the Christian church at large, are so far away from that unbelievable and almost fantastic description of the church in Acts 2. We read in verses 42 and following: And they devoted themselves to the apostles teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers. And awe came upon every soulAnd all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their

2 number day by day those who were being saved (vv 42-47). Now compare what we experience today with what they experienced then, and you will see just how much individualism has infiltrated the church and almost overpowered it. The church was born as a fellowship, a group of believers who loved each other so very much that they seemingly thought about each other all the time, each and everyday. So great was their inability to be apart from one another that they were meeting daily in the temple to worship, pray, fellowship, and eat together. I believe this is the kind of atmosphere we find existing in the church at Colosse. The thanksgiving which Paul makes of them in his letter to Colossians resembles the first church in Jerusalem. They were praying steadfastly together (4:2), enjoying favor with outsiders (4:5,6). They were a church of love for each other (1:4), bearing much fruit in this area. They were a church who truly loved one another. And more particularly the house church of Colosse which met in Philemons home experienced this atmosphere also. He was a man who shared his faith effectively, and helped foster such a sense of joy and comfort in that little gathering, such that the entire body of believers were constantly being refreshed. Again, as I have said the last two weeks, the gospel is the message that created this atmosphere among the people. The gospel message that says, Jesus Christ came to serve you, to give His life as a ransom for you, to die in your place, to heal your diseases, to pray for you, to feed you, to leave heaven for you. And when that message enters the heart of a person, they too cannot help but begin thinking the same way, seeking in any and everyway possible, How can I serve you, what

3 can I do for you, how can I pray for you, can I feed you, where can I go for you? That was why the first church in Jerusalem, as well as the Colossian church, in the gathering in Philemons house experienced such refreshment. It doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out that the gospel had made a deep and abiding impact on their hearts and lives. It resulted in them thinking about others the same way Jesus did doing whatever they can to serve others. With that fresh sense of gospel-atmosphere and gospel fellowship and friendship stirred up in your minds, turn your attention back to Philemon and this morning we will observe what is happening in verses 4 and 5 and apply it to our little gathering. 2. True believers will have such an intimate and personal relationship with God that they automatically and spontaneously spend much time thinking about and praying for other believers. In verse 4, Paul always thanked his God when he remembered Philemon in his prayers. The remembrance of Philemon and the house church there produced thanksgiving in his heart toward God for the work He had done there. And it seems very clear from Pauls letter that the warmth he felt in his heart for Philemon and his family and church was immense and intense. I see in the first few words of verse four this truth: if I am intimately personal with my God, I will be frequently thinking about and praying for others. One commentator has written the following very helpful description which ought to characterize all our lives, reflected perhaps the best in our prayer lives. We may judge of the reality of our affection by the current of our thoughts. Do we find

4 them tending towards some absent friends daily? Then we have evidence that ours is not the superficial love that can live only in the presence of its object. With the Christian thought turns to prayer. There on the throne of the universe is one who can best befriend our dearest friends (W.M.S., Pulpit Commentary Vol. 21, Philemon, p. 11). This was so true of Paul. D. A Carson has described him as, a Christian so committed to the well-being of other Christians, especially new Christians, that he is simply burning up inside to be with them, to help them, to nurture them, to feed them, to stabilize them, to establish an adequate foundation for them. Small wonder, then, that he devotes himself to praying for them when he finds he cannot visit them personally (A Call to Spiritual Reformation, p. 81). Carson continues, This is typical of Paul. He never descends to the level of the mere professional. Paul is a passionate man, deeply enmeshed in the lives of real people.And that passion shapes the prayers he utters on their behalf (ibid). Based on this truth, notice two things from the text. A. First, true friendship and fellowship with other believers begins with true friendship and fellowship with God. (v. 4)

5 First, notice that Pauls thanksgiving and prayer flows naturally out of his personal relationship with his God who saved him and called him to the ministry. A. W. Pink has written, in his book Gleanings from Paul, that in Pauls prayer for Philemon, its object was, my God. He writes, The first lesson in prayer Christ taught us was that the special relationship which He sustains to His children should be owned by them: Our Father which art in heaven (Luke 11:2). I will praise thee, O Lord my God (Ps. 86:12). God even our own God, shall bless us (Ps. 67:6) (p. 351). This is where true fellowship with one another begins, too. Our relationship with the Father will produce fellowship and friendship with one another, causing us to thank God for each other. One commentator has written that true fellowship, subsists in the fellowship with the Father, and the Son, and derives all its force therefrom (T.C., Pulpit Commentary, Vol. 21, Philemon, p. 16). This is just what 1 John 1:3 teaches: our fellowship is with the Father and His Son Jesus Christ. This fellowship implies that all saints have a common Father (Eph. 4:6), a common older Brother (Heb. 2:11), a common inheritance (Eph. 2:19), a common grace that binds us together (Phil. 1:7), and a common suffering we share in together (1 Cor. 12:26; Heb. 10:33,34). Believers are of one heart and one soul. Ephesians 4 teaches that we are all a part of one body and one Spirit, called to one hope, belonging to one Lord, one faith, and one baptism. We are all unified, inseparable from one another, because of our relationship to and with the Father. It is for this reason that Paul refers to God as my God. Perhaps it is reading too much into this verse, but in

6 light of the context, it seems to me that there is a special sense of friendship and relationship Paul intends to point to between himself and God in the usage of this phrase, my God. Paul does not refer to God as our God, or even your God. For Paul, God is my God, indicating intimacy, friendship, and fellowship. It is that type of fellowship Jesus speaks of in Revelation 3:20 where He says to one of the churches, Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come into him and eat with him, and he with me. Such a statement speaks of the incredibly delights of personal intimacy that extends beyond the borders of the normal and natural. That is the kind of intimacy Jesus offers to all the members of His church universal, and the kind of intimacy Paul personally enjoyed with God. Transition And if there is one little phrase in this verse that proves this point more than any other, it is the phrase, I thank my God Why? Because, second, Pauls intimate relationship with God necessarily means that God is the source of all Pauls thanksgiving and the goal of all his praying. Paul, a skilled, gifted and incredibly powerful preacher of the gospel is also an apostle. But he does not thank himself or consider his own work as contributing in any great way to the wonderful effects of his ministry he saw at work in Philemons life, household, and church. No, Paul has only God to thank. As he wrote to the Corinthians, What is Paul? Servants through whom you believed, as the Lord assigned to each. I plantedbut God gave the growth. So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth (1 Cor. 3:5-7).

7 Returning to A.W. Pink, he has written, The fact that thanks were returned to God for those graces was an acknowledgment that He is the Author of them: they do not originate with man. They are the fruit of the Spirit, evidences of His regenerating work (p. 351). This kind of thinking and writing is normal for Paul in almost all of his letters. He opens almost every letter with a greeting, then commences to thanking God for the work He has affected among His people. God is the author of every good and every perfect gift that comes down from heaven (James 1:17). He is the author and finisher of everyones faith in the Colossian church, including Philemon, and including you and I. He alone is to be praised. And what is normal for Paul ought to be normal for us. And it ought to be more so within our hearts than it is on our lips. How often do I hear of pastors and evangelists and ministers praising God and thanking Him for the work He has done, but in reality they take all the credit for it, receiving the applauses and commendations of men as if they were actually true! Paul knows better and so ought we also. Listen to Robert Hawker, an Anglican minister in England in from the late 18 th century to early 19th century, on this truth. Let the reader observe, to whom Paul gives all the glory. Every good thing in Philemon is ascribed wholly to the Lord Jesus. And though Paul was now writing this man on a subject of favor, he would not compliment him at the expence of truth, and in the fashion of modern times, extol the creature, and bolster him up in fancied worth, when both his ability to refresh the bowel of the

8 saints, and an heart to do it, were from the Lord. Oh! How much to be wished it were, that such faithfulness was in all ministers, and people, professing godliness. What volumes, on the contrary, have been printed and published, of thanks to men, where no mention hath been made of God! (The Poor Mans Commentary, Volume 3, Philippians to Revelation, p. 198). Let all our thanksgivings about Gods work, whether in our parenting or marriage or job or ministry, be given to God. Say with Paul in your heart as well as with your tongue, I thank my God always when I remember you Matthew Henry has marvelously summed up these two truths here in the following statement: It is the privilege of good men that their praises and prayers they come to God as their God: Our God, we thank thee, said David; and I thank my God, said Paul. Application There is much to ponder here concerning friendships between believers. At the very root of all application is this truth that unless believers have personal and intimate friendship and fellowship with their heavenly Father, such friendship and fellowship with other believers will be difficult if not impossible to enjoy. The relationship with the Father is what fuels the relationship with each other. When our heart for Him is developed and when we are captured and enraptured by His heart for us, then our hearts will naturally stretch out to reach and embrace one another.

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B. Second, true friendship and fellowship with other believers will reflect itself in frequently thinking about and praying for them (vv. 4-5) Isnt this what we see from Paul in verse 4? He writes, I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers because I hear of your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints. First, we will know if we are frequently enjoying intimate communion with God when we are frequently remembering other believers. Pauls personal and intimate relationship with God flowed out into a personal relationship and intimacy with the believers in Colosse such that he could say that he always remembered them in his prayers. The Greek word adialeptos, from which we get our word always, means just that regularly, frequently, consistently, etc. They werent just a passing thought in his mind, people he thought about from time to time, or whenever something he saw or thought about just happened to recall them all to his mind. They were not peripheral to him, but central to him. This is because, again, his relationship with God reflected itself in his relationship with believers such that their concerns and issues were more important than his own (see Philippians 2:3-4). Second, our frequent remembrances of other believers will take some sort of definite form and function. Pauls frequent remembrances of Philemon and the Colossian believers took a definite form and function as well. It wasnt just a, thanks God for so and so type of remembrance. No, his remembrance of them took on

10 the form of spontaneous and joyous thanksgiving, as well as faithful prayers for them. Perhaps he had a prayer list, and then again, perhaps he didnt. Either way, the focus here is clearly that he was so in love with God, and therefore so in love with these people, that they were constantly on his mind. His remembrance of other believers took on the form of prayer and functioned in thanksgiving for them in his prayers. Third, a heart of intimate and personal relationship with other believers will be on the lookout for spiritual growth of any and all kind. Notice that Paul remembered them frequently because he heard about their Christlikeness. For me personally, this seems to imply that his eyes and heart were opened constantly, his ears always to the ground, so to speak, ready to hear about any good reports coming from the people in the Colossian church. Again, his ministry was not about himself, but about others. Hence, he was always on the lookout for how God was growing His work among His church. Thats why he wrote about his thanksgiving for your love and of the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints. These categories of love and faith toward Jesus and the saints is broad enough that it would have to include everything Paul had heard about concerning these believers, everything from the smallest deed gone unnoticed to the greatest deed one could possibly do. Paul loved them so much that he wanted to hear about every single gospel effect God was working among them, no matter the size or shape of it. Illustrated Id like to illustrate these three characteristics through Pauls heart by turning your attention toward the other epistles he wrote. Turn with me to each of the following texts and read along with me.

11 Romans 1:8. First, I thank my God through Jesus Christ for all of you, because your faith is proclaimed in all the world. 1 Corinthians 1:4. I give thanks to my God always for you because of the grace of God that was given you in Christ Jesus Philippians 1:3. I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. Colossians 1:3. We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all the saints 1 Thessalonians 1:2. We give thanks to God always for all of you, constantly mentioning you in our prayers, remembering before our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and steadfastness of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 Thessalonians 1:3. We ought always to give thanks to God for you, brothers, as is right, because your faith is growing abundantly, and the love of every one of you for one another is increasing. 2 Timothy 1:3 ff. I thank Godas I remember you constantly in my prayers night and dayAs I remember your tearsI am reminded of your sincere faith Philemon 4. I thank my God always when I remember you in my prayers, because I hear of your love and the faith that you have toward the Lord Jesus and all the saints.

Among all these passages, notice first that for Paul, there is always something for which to thank God in the lives of other believers. This is indicative by

12 the preposition because which Paul uses almost every time. And where he does not use the preposition, he almost always lists the reason or reasons as to why he is thanking God for them. And while these statements of thanksgiving may have been very broad and general sweeping descriptions about their lives, we can be very sure that Paul had in mind detail after story after example of how his description had been lived out among the people of the particular church to which he was writing. Notice second that his knowledge of them personally and of their spiritual growth meant that he prayed very specific things for them. In each passage Paul prays something different for each particular church, something that was fitting for their needs at that time he was writing them. This would also include the one passage not included in the others we just read, Ephesians 1:16. I do not cease to give thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers, that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him This particular text, as well as most of the others, go on to describe some very specific things he is praying for each church. This isnt just God bless the missionaries type of praying here. The grammar he uses reflects an extremely well thought out theology and application of the gospel to these peoples lives.

Application

13 That said, how much time do others take up in your prayer lives? How much time do you spend thinking of others when you do pray? And beyond that, how much time in your prayer life is spent thanking God for others? Or how much time do you spend telling God about your problems with others? Which one seems to occupy more space in your prayer life and heart: thanksgiving or complaining? What level of detail do you notice in your prayer lives? Are you general, thanking God for the big things others have done? Do you thank God in broad and vague terms (e.g. Thank you God for the missionaries)? Or is your prayer life for others more detailed, thanking God even for the slightest and seemingly insignificant things that person has done? Is there an eye in your prayer life for any kind of maturity and growth and fruit, regardless of the shape and size of it?

Summary The bottom line in all of this is just what it was last week, isnt it? It is all about being so consumed with the amazing sacrifice with which the Trinity served me, that I am consumed with sacrifice and service to others. As D.A. Carson has written, The issue is service, the service of real people. So is church really all about you? Is the purpose of fellowship to meet your needs, or for you to meet others needs? The question is, How can I be most useful to others? It is not, How can I feel most useful. The goal is, How can I best glorify God by serving His people? It is not, How can I feel most comfortable and

14 appreciated while engaging in some acceptable form of Christian ministry? The assumption is, How shall the Christian service to which God calls me be enhanced by my daily death, by my principled commitment to take up my cross daily and die? It is not, How shall the form of service I am considering enhance my career? (Adapted from D. A. Carson, p. 83) Paul was a man whose deep affection forbelievers ensures that they will not serve to feed his ego or give him a sense of importance or satisfy his longing for fulfillment (ibid). But this is just how church operates in America today, doesnt it? If were all honest, this is very much how we have operated here in our little fellowship, isnt it? But the gospel demands that we think, feel and live otherwise. Jesus did what He did for our good, not for His own. He chose the path of self-denial and crucifixion for our good, not for His own. He chose shame, reproach, degradation for us, not for Himself. And such is the pathway we must take with others, just as Jesus did for us. We live and breathe for the good of others, praying for them nonstop, just as Christ lives and breathes to make intercession for us, as we read of in John and Hebrews. We live to please God, to glorify God, and to love God by loving and serving one another.