SEPTEMBER 2008 COSTAMBAR MONTHLY 2 · 9/9/2008 · RD$220,000 or best offer. Call 829-838-8498 FOR...

[email protected]

WHERE ARE WE??You can find copies of Costambar Monthly

at the following locations:Jenny’s Market

Supermercado TropicalSam’s Bar & Grill

Multiservicios CostambarChris & Mady’s

Cofresi Mini MarketDot ComCafé Cito

Las Rocas Sport Bar RestaurantBieke’s Bar

Los Tres CocosLoase Guest House

Los DosLa Roca Restaurant Sosua

Sea Witch BarSpike’s Bar

Ocean World MarinaMarco Polo Bar & Restaurant

Elly’s Beauty Salon & BeauticianBritannia Bar SosuaCafeteria Capicua

Banana’s Place

AVAILABLE ONLINE!!Thanks to the POP Report for hosting

Costambar Monthly online. Check us out at: www.costambarmonthly.com

INSIDEWhat’s Happening

Useful Telephone NumbersClassified Listings

Cable TV Channel ListingAuntie Social

The Rainy Day PageDominican Republic Map

And Lots of Other Fun Stuff!

FREEFREE

SIX SENSATIONAL YEARSAND STILL GOING STRONG!

IN THIS ISSUE0 - Hurricane Preparedness GuideIt’s a busy season - better safe than sorry!Page 19 - A Public Service Notice for Men!Don’t take this lightly!

COSTAMBAR MONTHLY MOTTONeither Codetel or EdenorteOr an inverter dying shortlyPaper pricesToner crisisOh there’s always something lordy!Will keep us from our appointed dutyTo make each issue a real beautyAnd even if we’re sometimes lateYou always know that if you waitManana will eventually comeAnd you can read us with your rum!

(And they said it would never last!)

Catch your favourite teams and sports with other fans at Chris & Mady’s in Cofresi. This month it’s English Premier League, NFL Football and College Football. Bring your laptop and take advantage of their wireless internet to keep in touch. Enjoy a chicken BBQ every Sunday at 6pm. Call ahead to confirm events and times - 809-970-7502

Café Cito invites you to come in for lunch. You’ll find new, efficient lunch staff, some new selections and lowered prices on old favourites. Daily specials for only RD$160!

Join Bieke, Liz & Barry at Bieke’s Bar for the now famous Bieke Burger every Saturday! Served with fries for only RD$160 you can’t beat it! Cheeseburger with fries only RD$180. Check the board for special dishes during the week.

Las Rocas Sports Bar & Restaurant is where you can find Darts on Tuesday nights. Enjoy their German and international cuisine. And see all your favourite sports on satellite TV! Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays join them for billiards tournaments and dinner specials.

Los Tres Cocos in Las Rocas invites you to try something different. Like Australian Lamb, Imperial Duck Breast or French Lamb Rack - just to name a few.

Enjoy breakfast all day at R&B Bakery for only RD$180 and while you are there check out their freshly baked breads and other goodies! Open daily except Mondays 7am to 7pm. And check out their Daily Special for only RD$180 available from 12pm to 6pm. Let them cater your next event with light snacks and finger foods! And new this month- PIZZA!

Linz at Spike’s Bar invites you down for Happy Hour every day from 4pm to 6pm. They have satellite TV for all your favourite sports and there’s a movie night on Mondays. Karaoke with Linz every Wednesday and Darts tournaments every Saturday night! They now have the largest big screen in Costambar! Food available nightly!

Jeannine’s Los Dos Restaurant in Villas Cofresi is holding Sunday Brunches on September 7 & 21. They will close on September 29 for vacation and be open again on October 21.

Costambar Monthly page 2Costambar Monthly page 2

Sea Witch Bar on Costambar Beach not only offers great drinks at great prices but you can join them for boules games and horseshoe matches. If a match isn’t in progress you can borrow the equipment and start one yourself!

Loase Resort is open for racquetball, handball, wallyball and swimming with a RD$300 per person day pass or a membership. And now Karen (formerly of Irish Tavern) is opening the bar and restaurant Monday to Saturday from 8am to 4pm. Enjoy breakfast, brunch and lunch while playing pool or taking a dip in the pool!

The Marco Polo Bar & Restaurant in Residence Atlantic One offers a wonderful ambience in which to relax and dine on their delicious international cuisine. The service and music are great and they even have wireless internet available to keep you in touch. Enjoy a free glass of red or white wine with every main course ordered. A tasty new Dinner Special is on the menu this month - the Trio Dominicano is three different meats served with veg and your choice of potato and for only RD$460 it includes salad, dessert and a glass of wine!

Britannia Bar in Sosua is going to make ninety-nine your new favourite number. Starting with 99 peso breakfast specials from 8am-10pm. Then join them for the Ultimate Happy Hour from 4-7pm with a bevy of beverage specials for 99 pesos. And if you get a bit peckish while imbibing you can enjoy a 99 peso food special from 4-10pm.

Cafeteria Capicua located beside the APC office in Costambar offers Food to Go! Enjoy Gyros and the German hot dog Bosner.

Looking for something new, different and fun to do? Why not learn salsa at Banana’s Place and dance your way to the beach body of your dreams! Classes are every Wednesday at 1pm starting and instruction is multilingual. There’s no age limit, no partner required and everybody can do it! So come out and let the rhythm move you!!! And starting in September - merengue, bachata and aquarobics!

Sam’s Bar & Grill wants your best curry dishes! So get out your spices and fine tune those recipes to enter the First Ever Curry Contest on October 19. First place wins RD$2000!

WHAT TO DO THIS MONTH

Costambar Monthlywww.costambarmonthly.com

Published by C&C ProductionsCurrently printing as many copies as we can afford monthly and is distributed free throughout the North Coast.Care is taken to ensure information is correct at the time of publication BUT things change.Office: 809-970-7123Colin cell: 1-809-449-1819Cindy cell: 1-809-449-1820Email: [email protected]


WHAT TO DO THIS MONTH CONTINUEDVisit Juana at Banana’s Place to enjoy national & international dishes and a great plate of the day. Every Saturday is Super Karaoke!

Ocean World Bravissimo Show, featuring talented dancers, tropical rhythms and amazing costumes, will take you on an enchanted journey throughout the Caribbean! Comments are raving! Viewers delighted! Spaces are limited. For reservations call 809-291-1000. Ocean World Magical Nights is the most spectacular night tour on the island! Be a part of the Magic and treat yourself to an exquisite dinner including ‘all you can eat’ lobster and prime rib. Then the highlight, Ocean World’s BRAVISSIMO SHOW and after the show enjoy a drink in our Lighthouse Lounge over looking the marina or try your luck at the Ocean World Casino with your choice of popular game tables and slots. Spaces are limited. For reservations call 809-291-1000.Poseidon Restaurant is the five star restaurant at Ocean World, featuring mouth watering international cuisine favorites with a special focus on seafood. For reservations or information call 809-291-2000.Lighthouse Lounge at Ocean World is the place to be on Saturday nights, don’t miss the fun! Enjoy modern music, great ambience and lots of dancing while enjoying the magnificent scenery. Don’t be square – be there! For more information call 809-291-2000.Octopus Bar & Grill at Ocean World. Taste our menu choices and enjoy classic beverages and signature cocktails with friends. Take a dip in the pool and splash off some of the Caribbean heat while having a drink at our swim up bar! For more information call 291-2000Ocean World Casino is the most exclusive Las Vegas gaming in the setting of a true Caribbean Paradise. Enjoy your choice of popular table games and slot machines in luxurious surroundings. RD$3000 buy-in poker tournaments every Tuesday and Saturday at 7pm

Five a side footie Tombola

Wet the rep Lucky Dip

Slip n Slide Name the Dolphin

Bravissimo Dancers Free golf lessons

Bouncy Castle Book stall

Pitch n Putt Merchandise stall

Face Painting Sweeties in a jar

Mini Olympics Clown & Face-painting

Cake Stall Apple bobbing

Coconut Shy Penalty shoot-out

Beer tent Popcorn / Candyfloss

Burger Van Hotel Skills

This one off event has been put together in order to raise money

for a much needed cause, we would like to invite you all to join us

for an afternoon of fun and laughter as we come together to make

a difference for the local children of Puerto Plata.

Raising a little does a lot,

and with your help we can really make a difference to many lives here in

the Dominican Republic

Donations required for

entrance Every little bit helps

MONDAY 8TH SEPTEMBER. FAIRWAYS GOLF COURSE FROM 2PM-9PM

CONTACT JEAN FOR MORE DETAILS 809 269 5491

A Sunday school teacher asked her little

children, as they were on the way to church

service,

"And why is it necessary to be quiet in

church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because

people are sleeping."


CLASSIFIED ADS

TRAWLER YACHT FOR SALE

The best motorsailer, trawler ever built. Lying in the best “Margaritaville" hurricane hole. Cruise down island to South America, or do Cuba, the Bahamas or the Great Loop. Or just wait aboard for theApocalypse.For photos and details seehttp://www.LuperonCruising.com

COMMERCIAL CLASSIFIEDS

Costambar Monthly classified ads are free Place yours by calling

809-970-7123or email [email protected]

PLEASE NOTE - free classified ads are only for personal items. Commercial properties or enterprises (including real estate sales or rentals) must purchase an ad. Classifieds will be run for one month only unless we are otherwise notified.

FOR SALE

Brand new, never being used, still in boxes:

Acer Inspire T180, Hard disc 160GB, 3800 AMD

athlon 64 procesor. HD, DVDRW drive 1 GB RAM

With Monitor 17 inch. Both FOR 700 USD.

Laser Printer Brother HL2040 For 175 USD

They are in Costambar

Please reach Sabine 1-809-876-7105

By email [email protected]

FOR SALE

2 beds, handmade by carpenter in pine-wood,

color caoba, 92 x 200 cm with spring-mattresses

85 x 190 cm of best quality. Practically new.

Cost-price RD$19000, now selling both for

RD$11500. Call 809-970-7557

FOR SALE

2003 Daihatsu Terios, blue, good condition

throughout, good economical runner.

RD$220,000 or best offer.

Call 829-838-8498

FOR SALE

3 full size pool tables, as new condition, come

complete with 3 full sets of balls, triangles,

selection of pool cues and accessories.

RD$90,000 for the lot or will sell separately.

Call 829-838-8498

FOR SALE

Generator, 5kw, Honda EN 5000, petrol, as new

condition, can be seen working on site.


Call 829-838-8498

FOR SALE

Complete TV satellite system, dish, box, remote,

receives hundreds of channels. This system is se

up in my home and can be viewed working.


Call 829-838-8498

FOR SALE

1999 Toyota Corolla, dark green, in good

condition, A/C, good music. US$6000 negotiable.

Call 829-610-4470

FOR SALE

Chihuahua puppies. Call 829-333-6596

FOR SALE

Teka stainless steel extractor fans, 3 speed.

RD$3500 each. Call 809-447-3144

FOR SALE

SPT 2800w generator, 2.5kw, 6.5hp gasoline

engine, 4.2 gal fuel tank, used only approx. 20hrs.

RD$8500 or best offer. Call 829-914-4875

FOR SALELand in Costambar. 1714 sq meters, next to Las Rocas. US$80,000Call 809-618-7896

WANTED

Children’s outside plastic playground/swings.

Wicker style furniture, desire any pieces

available. Twin size beds.

Call 829-333-6596

FOR SALE

1980 Suzuki Samari, Good condition and complete

with papers and legal docs. Best Offer

Call 829-333-6596


AT YOUR SERVICE COSTAMBARRENT CAR, SxA

Calle Principal#4, CostambarAmado Tejada

ProprietorTelephone:809-970-7005Cellular: 809-757-3744

Satellite Solutions

Everything for Satellite TV!Installation

Dish RelocationDish Adjustments

Sales of Equipment*Dishes

*Receivers*LNB

*AccessoriesWe also do Private Networks

FOR MORE INFO CALL809-772-8251

NIELSEN WELDING & FABRICATIONLocated on the Entrance Road to Costambar

Working with Steel, Stainless Steel & Aluminum

New Fabrications and RepairsWe are also Mobile!

CALL JAN NIELSEN @ 829-962-9690OR EMAIL [email protected]

THE NEW

JHON RO’S LAUNDRY

& DRY CLEANING SERVICEFast Service!

Great Prices!

Excellent Results!

Open Monday to Saturday 6am-10pm

Sunday 9am-2pm

We Speak English, German & Spanish

Av. Manolo T. Justo con Reina de las Florres #29(Urb. Bayardo) Puerto Plata

809-586-5900

BRING IN THIS AD

AND GET A 5% DISCOUNT

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?'80% held up their hands.The Minister then repeated his question.All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.‘Mrs. Neely? Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?'‘I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly.'Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?''Ninety-eight.' she replied.'Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?'The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:‘I've outlived the bitches.'

NORMAL

IS JUST

A CYCLE

ON THE

WASHING

MACHINE

PROFESSIONAL

PAINTINGCall Dave for a quote on all

your painting jobs

809-418-0160


NA ORTS TO EC

C

O NNS OIT TR CUNEW CONSTRUCTION, REMODELING OR

SMALL REPAIRS

SERVICES INCLUDE:*New residential or commercial construction

*Electrical (including generator & inverter installation*Plumbing (including pools, spas & sprinkler systems*Septic Systems (including those in high tide areas)

*Hillside or flood plain construction on columns*Custom cabinetry and finish woodwork

*Roofing (spanish tile, zinc, wood shingle, etc.)*Ceramic Tile

*Kitchen and Bath*Painting (interior & exterior)

*Brick and Stone Work*Custom gates and all ironwork

CALL NOW FOR A FREE ESTIMATECall Bill @ 809-677-8007

AMERICAN QUALITY SERVING CIBAO AND NOW THE ENTIRE NORTH COAST!!

RyveperNORTH COAST DRILLING COMPANY

WATER WELLS & MOREMORE THAN 18 YEARS DRILLING EXPERIENCE

FIRST RATE WORK DONE BY OUR QUALIFIED TECHNICIANS

CALL ANA FOR MORE INFOTEL/FAX: 809-320-9738

CELL: 809-543-8154

Pro-Source CaribeThe source for professional quality pool & spa supplies

Store 809-571-1616 Office 809-571-2106 Fax 809-571-2102Email: [email protected]

CAN YOU READ THIS??fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!


FLORIDA Car Imports

Craysford Investments, S.A.

Not Older Than 5 years!

Wholesale Prices

All Brands, All Models

Best Prices in the D.R.

Serving Costambar, Cofresi, Sosua

WE BRING THE CAR

OF YOUR DREAMS

YOUR REQUEST WILL BE DELIVERED

IN ABOUT 15 DAYS!

CALL FOR MORE INFO

809-875-0850

[email protected]

JORGE REYESElectric Repairs, Plumbing,

Painting, Gardening,

Pool Cleaning

ENGLISH SPEAKING!809-618-7896

POOL SUPPLIES

Delivered to your home

Pool tablets, Chlorine powder,

Muriatic acid, pumps, filters, hoses,

test kits, brushes & more

Call Colin @1-809-449-1819

A man walks into the front door of a bar. He is obviously drunk. he staggers up to the bar, seats himself on a stool, and with a belch, asks the bartender for a drink.The bartender politely informs the man that it appears that he has already had plenty to drink--he could not be served additional liquor at this bar but could get a cab called for him.The drunk is briefly surprised then softly scoffs, grumbles, climbs down off the bar stool, and staggers out the front door.A few minutes later, the same drunk stumbles in the side door of the bar. He wobbles up to the bar and hollers for a drink. The bartender comes over, and still politely--but more firmly refuses service to the man due to his inebriation. Again, the bartender offers to call a cab for him.The drunk looks at the bartender for a moment angrily, curses, and shows himself out the side door, all the while grumbling and shaking his head.A few minutes later, the same drunk bursts in through the back door of the bar. He plops himself up on a bar stool, gathers his wits, and belligerently orders a drink.The bartender comes over and emphatically reminds the man that he is clearly drunk, will be served no drinks, and either a cab or the police will be called immediately.The surprised drunk looks at the bartender and in hopeless anguish, cries "Man! How many bars do you work at?"

A woman visited her plastic surgeon who told her

about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' where

a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's

head and could be turned to tighten up her skin

and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift.

Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.'

Over the course of the years, the woman

tightened the knob, and the effects were

wonderful, the woman remained young looking

and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to the

surgeon with two problems.

'All these years, everything has been working just

fine. I've had to turn the knob many times and

I've always loved the results. But now I've

developed two annoying problems: First, I have

these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob

won't get rid of them.'

The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those

aren't bags, those are your breasts.'

She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point in asking

about the goatee...'


FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD!

RUTH’S HOMECOOKINGRUTH’S HOMECOOKINGHomemade meatpies, meatloaf,

sliced roast beef, pies, tarts and more!!

Call 809-970-7509

Computer problems?

Cellphone 809-862-2988

DOT COMINTERNET CAFÉ

calle 12 de julio261-6165

Members Clubi hour RD$50

15 hours RD$65030 hours RD$1200

Open 8:30am - 9pmClosed Sunday

TECHNICALLY SPEAKING

The following are items found overseas in which people have made inappropriate use of English words for various products, and bizarre menu items in restaurants. Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China Indonesian Nazi Goreng - Hong Kong Muscles Of Marines/Lobster Thermos - Cairo French fried ships - Cairo Garlic Coffee - Europe Boiled Frogfish - Europe Sweat from the trolley - Europe Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong Roasted duck let loose - Poland Beef rashers beaten up in the country peoples fashion - Poland Fried friendship - Nepal Strawberry crap - Japan Pork with fresh garbage - Vietnam Toes with butter and jam - Bali French Creeps - L.A. Fried fishermen - Japan Teppan Yaki - Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan

OUR MORNING COMPUTER PRAYER Our Hard Drive Which art internal Volume C by name; Thy code be clean, Thy fonts be seen On screen as they are on paper. Give us this day our documents, And lead us not into fragmentation But deliver us our data. For thine is the SCSI, And the EISA, and the NuBus, Forever and Ever, Amen.

Paul Revere

virus: This

revolutionary

virus does not

horse around. It

warns you of

impending hard

disk attack---

once if by LAN,

twice if by C:.

Closed on Mondays

Kaika’sCHICKEN BREAST SPREAD

FOR SALE BY THE POUND

ORDER AHEAD FOR

LARGE QUANTITIES809-970-7522/809-586-7713/829-340-8943

Centro de Massage Lucy, Costambar

Calle San Jose #10, Puerto Plata

Everything you need at good prices!Friendly Service

ANDVisit our Internet Café & Call Center right next door

Serving Mexican Food

JENNY’S MARKET

Open 8:00am to 9:30pm dailyCalle Principal, Costambar

Tel: 809-970-3028


TROPICAL SUPERMARKETTROPICAL SUPERMARKET

The Best Place in Puerto Plata

for all your grocery needs!

Good selection of local and

imported products at great prices!

Avenida 27 de Febrero (at the corner of Beller)

586-6464

SHOP TILL YA DROP!

INTERNATIONAL FLAGS

5’X3’ AND 3’X2’POLYESTER WITH GROMMETSRD$350each or 3 for RD$700

809-449-1819

HOTELS

BTS

OA

RE TAURANTS

S

BARS

WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE , I'M BROKEA little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.''Go away!' said the old lady. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money!' and she proceeded to close the door.Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open.'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.'And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'The old lady stepped back and said, 'Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning.'

It may be that your sole

purpose in life is simply to

serve as a bad example.

REDNECK VACATION Billy Bob and Luther were talking one afternoon when Billy Bob tells Luther, 'Ya know, I reckon I'm 'bout ready for a vacation. Only this year I'm gonna do it a little different. The last few years, I took your advice about where to go. Three years ago you said to go to Hawaii. I went to Hawaii and Earlene got pregnant. Then two years ago, you told me to go to the Bahamas, and Earlene got pregnant again. Last year you suggested Tahiti and darned if Earlene didn't get pregnant again.'Luther asks Billy Bob, 'So, what you gonna do this year that's different?'‘This year I'm taking Earlene with me.'


Hurricane Season, which extends from June 1 to November 30, is now upon us. Historically, September and October are the most active months. According to experts the key to hurricane or tropical storm protection is preparation. By taking sensible measures before, during, and after a hurricane, many lives can be saved and property damage averted. Although most of the impacts associated with tropical storms and hurricanes occur in the coastal areas, these storms can also affect inland areas. The biggest threat to life and property inland is damage from flash flooding and landslides due to excessive rainfall. A hurricane preparedness plan includes three basic things that are important in the threat of any severe weather event, and not just for hurricanes: 1. Maintaining a disaster or emergency supply kit; 2. Securing your home and property; 3. Having a safe place to go in the event of evacuation or prolonged utility outage. A disaster or emergency supply kit should include the below listed items as a minimum. Consult the two websites provided at the end of this email for additional information and more detailed lists.- Water - have at least four litres of water available per person per day for three to seven days- Food - maintain a supply of non-perishable food that is enough for at least three to seven days. This should include non-perishable items such as: canned food/juices, food for infants or the elderly, snack foods, a non-electric can opener- First Aid Kit, medicines and prescription drugs- Sleeping bags, blankets and pillows- Flashlights and batteries- Battery operated radio- Toiletries and hygiene items - including toilet paper, soap, moisture wipes- Clothing - put aside at least one change of clothes per person, including rain gear and sturdy shoes or boots- Telephones - ensure cell phones are fully charged. Each home should be equipped with a traditional, non-cordless phone- Cash - bank machines, credit cards, and other forms of electronic commerce may not be available during an emergency- Important Documents - place essential documents in a waterproof container (ID, passports, medical records, insurance information, etc)- Fuel - fill all vehicle fuel tanks in advance of a storm- Tools - have a set with you during the storm- Specialty items for the children, elderly. Games, toys, and books to keep you and children entertained.- Pets - plan for you pets by having a sufficient supply of food and water available for them. If you need to go to a shelter, have a plan in place for where your pet will go.The following web sites have further information available on hurricanes specifically and emergency preparedness in general.Public Safety and Emergency Preparedness Canada:

The US National Hurricane Centre:http://www.psepc.gc.ca/prg/em/gds/genprep-en.asp

http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/

WE HATE TO RAIN ON YOUR PARADE BUT...


SOSUA809-571-1151809-383-8279

CABARETE809-571-0858809-962-0185

30 Years of Experience in Real Estate Sales on the North Coast

LET OUR EXPERIENCE WORK FOR YOU!Condos, Homes, Home Sites, Beachfront and Ocean View

Commercial

WATCH THAT FIRST STEP -IT’S A DOOZY!!!

(Taken on the back road to Cofresi)


PROPERTIES IN COSTAMBAR

809-970-7025809-399-5861 cellemail [email protected]

CALL CLAUDIA

SAY YOU SAW IT IN

THE COSTAMBAR MONTHLY

Casetta 2 bdrs, 2 bthr. with large garden that has two bldgs on it, used for entertaining. Fully furnished, inverter. Lot is 690M. U.S.$120,000 Condo 1 bdr., 1 bthr. completely renovated in a well kept complex with large pool, and generator easily rented out. Asking U.S.$59,000Condo - 1 bdr., fully furnished in well maintained bldg. Pool, generator on property. U.S.$55,000Beach House Large 3 Bdr., 3 Bthrs and pool right on the beach, Asking U.S.$299,000.Condo - Spacious 2 bdrs, den, 2 ½ bthrs., panoramic view of the ocean. Asking U.S.$95,000.004 Condos right in front of ocean. Each condo has 1 bdr. and a loft with 1 ½ Bathrooms. Live in 1 and rent the other 3 units. Parking. Asking U.S.$249,000.00Condo 2 storey, bright 2 bdrs, 3 bthrs, large porch U.S.$85,00.00Casetta - 2 bdrs. 1 bthr, large porch, storage area, near beach, in excellent condition. Inverter. Asking U.S.$149,000.Ground floor Apt. 2 Bdrs., 2Bthrs. Has been completely redone. New Mahogany Kitchen, and a small balcony. 1064 Sq.ft. Ready to move in. Asking U.S.$50,000.00Condo 2 Bdrs., 2 Bthrs., Large living /dining area, and a balcony. Right by the ocean in well maintained bldg., with a pool and large garden. Asking U.S.$135,000.00Fixer Upper Apt. 2 bdrs. 2 bthrs. Small balcony and asking only U.S.$37,000.00 (Negotiable)

HOUSE FOR RENT BY OWNER

Located in Cafemba 3Bed, 2bath with Office

InverterInternet

Pool Well Water

Please Contact Dora at 809-970-7723

Or Email [email protected]

Sometimes I wake

up grumpy.

Sometimes I let

him sleep!

PRICE OF GAS IN FRANCEA thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings

from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole

the paintings, and made it safely to his van.

However, he was captured only two blocks

away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a

crime and then make such an obvious error, he

replied, 'Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the

paintings.'

I had no Monet

to buy Degas

To make the Van Gogh.'

See if you have De Gaulle to show this to

someone else.

I printed it because I figured I had nothing

Toulouse.

EU Directive No. 456179In order to meet the conditions for joining the Single European currency, all citizens of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland must be made aware that the phrase 'Spending a Penny' is not to be used after 31st December 2009.From this date, the correct terminology will be:'Euronating'.Thank you for your attention.

An elderly man goes into a brothel and

tells the madam he would like a young

girl for the night. Surprised, she looks

at the ancient man and asks how old he

is.

"I'm 90 years old," he says.

"90!" replies the woman. "Don't you

realize you've had it?"

"Oh, sorry," says the old man. "How

much do I owe you?"

PROPERTY INCLUDES:6 one bedroom apartments with kitchen, livingroom, bedroom and bathroom. Fully furnished.1 one bedroom house with big kitchen, big livingroom, bedroom and bathroom. Fully furnished.1 two bedroom house with big kitchen, big livingroom, 2 bedrooms and bathroom. Fully furnished.Swimming PoolGenerator with automatic switchLaundry Storage RoomAlways Well BookedUS$295,000

CALL 809-970-7312 OR CELLPHONE 809-251-8679


HOUSES FOR SALE BY OWNEROCEANFRONT ‘STONE CASTLE’ FOR SALE - 7 bdrms including a studio apt., 5 bath, livingroom, diningroom, kitchen, balcony. Has marble in master bdrm suite & bath. Located on Paseo del Mar/Costambar. Excellent for B&B, business or large family. US$299,995HOUSE ON LAGUNA FOR SALE - 2 bdrm, 1 bath, living room, diningroom, kitchen, with 2 car garage, Laguna view. Located at Paseo de la Laguna #3/Costambar. Great starter home! US$59,995Call 516-692-7862 or 809-970-7024 or Email: [email protected] (subject line Costambar House)

OCEAN FRONT APARTMENTFOR SALE

On the Malecon in Puerto Plata140 square feet

4 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment on the second floor of Edificio #5

New doors and windows Furnished

US$70,000 or equivalent

TEL:809-221-7954/CEL:809-890-3210

APARTHOTEL IN COSTAMBAR

FOR SALE BY OWNER

A husband in his back yard is trying to fly a kite.

He throws the kite up in the air, the wind catches

it for a few seconds, then it comes crashing

back down to earth. He tries this a few more

times with no success.

All the while, his wife is watching from the

kitchen window, muttering to herself how men

need to be told how to do everything.

She opens the window and yells to her

husband, "You need a piece of tail."

The man turns with a confused look on his face

and says, "Make up your mind. Last night, you

told me to go fly a kite."

YA GOTTA LUV POLITICAL SPIN!Judy, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: "Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889." Judy emailed Hillary Clinton @NY. Gov for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjustors cropped Remus' picture, scanned it, enlarged the image, and edited it with image processing software so that all that's seen is a head shot. The accompanying biographical sketch is as follows: "Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory. His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

A cop was rushed into the operating room

for an emergency appendectomy. The

surgery went well, but afterwards he had a

weird pulling sensation on his chest. Worried

that something else might be wrong, he

lifted his hospital gown to take a look.

Attached firmly to his chest hairs was a wide

strip of tape. “Get well soon” was written on

it, and it was signed: “The nurse you gave a

ticket to this morning.”


FOR A COMPLETE LISTING VISIT THE CABLE OFFICEFOR DAILY LISTINGS ON THESE CHANNELS GO TO TV.YAHOO.COM

CABLE VISIONELTECSA, S.A.

Calle Principal #5Costambar, Pto. Pta.

Tel. 809-970-7131 Fax 809-970-7926RNC 1-01-63910-5

Police office 809-320-8510Police car 809-320-8840APC office 809-970-7877Verizon 809-220-1111Edenorte - emergency 809-261-1844 - office 809-586-9823Taxi stand 809-970-7318APC Gate Security 809-970-7015ConsulatesU.S.A. 809-586-4204Canada 809-586-5761Britain 809-586-4244German 809-586-6995Italian 809-320-7601HospitalsClinica Bournigal 809-586-2342Clinica Brugal 809-586-2519

USEFUL NUMBERSFYI For Your Information

12 CNN 51 CINE CANAL22 FOX SPORT 56 SPEED28 BOOMERANG 57 ANIMAL PLANET30 ABC 64 SCI-FI31 NBC 66 FOOD32 CBS 69 DISCOVERY KIDS33 TBS 70 WEATHER34 CNBC 71 CINEMAX35 ESPN-1 72 SHOWTIME36 WGN 74 STARZ37 CDN 79 NASA40 TNT 80 JETIX42 USA 81 CARTOON43 ESPN-2 83 TNT LA44 DISCOVERY 84 HISTORY46 DISNEY 85 THE FILM ZONE49 HBO

Some days you’re the bug, some days

you’re the windshield.


THE RAINY DAY PAGESOLUTIONS ON PAGE 26

BEGINNER

SUDOKU PUZZLESFill in the missing numbers so every row, column and quadrant contains the number 1 through 9.

INTERMEDIATE

MEDICAL SERVICES COSTAMBARJAMES BAILES, M.D.General Medicine

Chiropractic

Infections and Allergy

809-309-6460 CostambarLicense #68603

Dr Roberto Echavarria Peralta and his staff wish to announce to his esteemed clients and the community in general, the expansion of his dental office and acquisition of additional equipment to be more efficient and faster in meeting your dental needs.

Dental ClinicDr Roberto Echavarria Peralta

Post Graduate, Biomedical Research S.L., Spain

Wide Range of Dental Services/Implants/Laser Teeth WhiteningWe Accept Dental Insurance English Spoken

Open Mon-Sat 8am-12pm & 2pm-6pmCalle Camino Real No. 28, 2nd floor, Puerto Plata 809-586-1707

TO YOUR HEALTH!Costambar Monthly page 17Costambar Monthly page 17

ELLY’S BEAUTY SALON& BEAUTICIAN

OFFERING A COMPLETE SERVICE TO OUR CLIENTS

Free Coffee & Biscuits For Our Clients

Come & Let Us Pamper You!

Open 9am to 7pm - Closed SundaysCall Elly Tel: 809-970-7811 Cell: 809-694-0091

Hair Cut~Colour~Tints~Highlights

Extensions~Facial Cleaning~Peeling

Acrylic Nails~Manicure~Pedicure

Hand & Foot Rehydration~Body Exfoliant

Massage

STARTING IN SEPTEMBERASK FOR YOUR VIP LOYALTY CARD

FOR RETURNING CUSTOMERS!

UNISEX SALON

Free internet access for clients

A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FOOT!

A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will almost always throw you out before you can eat too much.

DIETS & DYINGHere's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.CONCLUSION:Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

IT'S TIME TO DIET AND EXERCISE WHEN......You try to do a few push ups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor....your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy's first wife was....you get winded just saying the words "six-kilometre run."...you come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees....you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humour....you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you're alone."...to you, "Itsy-Bitsy Teenie-Weenie Yellow Polka dot Bikini" and "The Impossible Dream" become the same song....you accept the fact that you can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but not while you're wearing a bathing suit.

This Month - Diet Advice!

NEW LOCATION!!beside ‘Spike’s Bar’, Calle Cadiz

Lucila D. Rijo R. (Olga)Massage, Relax, Reduction, Deep Tissue

Reflexology, Accupressure, Hot Stone TherapyManicure & Pedicure, Braids & Extensions

809-970-7522/809-993-2944Opposite Jenny’s Market, Costambar


At Pet Shop del Norte we offer you and your pet :

? Doggy Parlor with premium products, tick & flea, mange treatments, nail clipping, ear cleaning, fur clipping, softening treatment, oral health, etc.

? Pet pharmacy, vaccines, internal & external parasite treatments, etc.

? Hotel ? Variety of pet foods? Accessories for dogs, cats & fish ? Aquarium & free consultations about your aquarium troubles? Home delivery

For questions please call us at 809-261-0828 or 829-917-7651 we will be happy to be of assistance. We speak Spanish, English and German. Vets association # 0593

Business hours: 9:00 AM to 7:00 PM Monday through Saturday, closed on Sundays.WE’VE MOVED to Manolo Tavares Justo #39, across from 26 de Agosto (just up the street on the same side!)

PET-POURRI New in CostambarCAT SITTING SERVICE

Whether you are going on vacation, away for work, or any other reason and have nobody to look after your cat, I can help.European lady with many years of experience will visit and care for your cat in your own home.Available in Costambar & Cofresi

Call Marilyne809-988-1322

[email protected]

Our young daughter had adopted a stray cat. To my distress, he began to use the back of our new sofa as a scratching post. "Don't worry," my husband reassured me. "I'll have him trained in no time." I watched for several days as my husband patiently "trained" our new pet. Whenever the cat scratched, my husband deposited him outdoors to teach him a lesson. The cat learned quickly. For the next 16 years, whenever he wanted to go outside, he scratched the back of the sofa.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY A DOG IS BETTER THAN A WOMAN

10. A dog's parents will never visit you.

9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.

8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.

7. A dog never expects you to telephone.

6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday.

5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life.

4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog.

3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day.

2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.

1. A dog does not shop.

Sign in a pet shop

window:

"Free legless parakeet.

No perches necessary."


Sam’s Bar & Grill

Sam’s Bar & GrillJ o s e d e l C a r m e n A r i z a # 3 4 ,

P u e r t o P l a t a 5 8 6 -7267J o s e d e l C a r m e n A r i z a # 3 4 ,

P u e r t o P l a t a 5 8 6 -7267

Still Serving the Best Breakfast in Puerto Plata!Complete menu plus daily specials!

www.samsbar.tk/send your email address to [email protected] to hear about all our specials

Open

y

7 Da s

8

sh

8am- pm”i”

Fresh Baked GoodsAlmost Daily!!

ENJOY OURFREE

WI-FI!!

Satellite TV For All Your

Favourite Sports!Group Health Insurance

For Details & To Sign Up With Marcel & PetraFirst Tuesday Monthly at 5pm

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!MARK YOUR CALENDAR!Sunday, October 19

Get your spices and your tastebuds ready!Sam’s First Ever Curry Competition

From 3-5pmFirst Place Wins RD$2000

Please Register by Wednesday, October 15

DANGEROUS: SAFER: SAFEST: ULTRA SAFE:

WHAT'S FOR DINNER? CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?

WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR

DINNER?

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

ARE YOU

WEARING THAT?

WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!

WOW!

LOOK AT YOU!

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

WHAT ARE YOU

SO WORKED UP ABOUT?

COULD WE BE OVERREACTING? HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?

YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES

LEFT.

CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE

WITH THAT?

HERE, HAVE

SOME WINE.

WHAT DID

YOU DO

ALL DAY?

I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.

I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!

HERE, HAVE

SOME MORE

WINE.

THE HORMONE HOSTAGEThe hormone hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open

his mouth & he takes his life into his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common

as a driver's license In the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker, or significant other!


CHECK OUT OUR

EXCITING

NEW MENU!

NEW ALPHABET A is for apple, and B is for boat,

That used to be right, but now it won't float!

Age before beauty is what we once said,

But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now our Alphabet

A's for arthritis;

B's the bad back,

C's the chest pains, perhaps car-d-iac?

D is for dental decay and decline,

E is for eyesight, can't read that top line!

F is for fissures and fluid retention,

G is for gas which I'd rather not mention.

H..high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;

I..for incisions with scars you can show.

J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend,

K is for knees that crack when they bend.

L 's for libido, what happened to sex?

M is for memory, I forget what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;

O is for osteo, bones that don't grow!

P for prescriptions, I have quite a few, just give

me a pill and I'll be good as new!

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?

R is for reflux, one meal becomes two.

S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears,

T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears!

U is for urinary; troubles with flow;

V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy,' you know.

W for worry, NOW what's going 'round?

X is for X ray, and what might be found.

Y for another year I'm left here behind,

Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind.

I've survived all the symptoms, my body's

deployed,

And I'm keeping twenty-six doctors fully

employed!!!

A Buddhist Monk walks up to the New York City hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything".The Monk hands the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill into his pocket and the Monk inquires about his change. The vendor says change must come from within


HAVE A HEART FINAL RESULTS.As you will remember we ran the Have a Heart fundraising campaign during July to help Ken Fisher & his family pay for his triple heart bypass operation.As many of you will attest, during the month of July Costambar was a dangerous place if you just wanted a quiet drink or sandwich without being asked to dig deep to help Ken! To all of you who "endured" our various schemes to seperate you from your money we say a big "Thank You".We held two charity auctions at the Barcode Sandwich Bar. We had well over 100 lots varying from a box of Oxo cubes - which were popular with The Brits! - to tickets for tours & attractions all over the North Coast. Peter

The auctioneer braved power-cuts & "stray" dogs - you had to be there! - & his sterling efforts ensured that very nearly all lots were sold.The grand total raised was 89,000 pesos, which considering that it is the summer & Costambar is "empty" is absolutely fantastic!Ken & Sue immediately donated 13,000 pesos to help the father of their friend & neighbour Jorge who was in hospital after a fall from a ladder. This money bought drugs & treatment which enabled him to go home 2 days later! Already your money is making a real difference to one family.We live in a fabulous community & the Have a Heart campaign has proved that despite our differences we can work together to help each other.THANK YOU COSTAMBAR!

SEA WITCHBAR

Costambar Beach

Horse ShoesBoules BallsGreat Drinks

at Great Prices!

(Across from Harley Bar)

Cafeteria CapicuaCafeteria CapicuaFood to Go

GyrosBosner

(German Hot Dog)Café

Located Next to APC Office

Never test

the depth

of the

water

with both

feet.

Coffee,

Chocolate,

Men ... Some

things are

just

better

rich.

Banana’s PlaceBar & Restaurant

National & International FoodPlato del Dia

Swimming Pool & Billiards TableEvery Saturday Night - Super Karaoke!

Open 7 days from 9am to 10pm (later on weekends)

Juana Invites You to Come & Enjoy

Located on Calle Padre Billini (Behind the old Palma Caribe Hotel)

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by.He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, 'Perfect timing. You're just like Frank.'Passenger: 'Who?'Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.'Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy.'Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special.Cabbie: 'There's more... He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'Passenger: 'Wow, some guy then.'Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished he was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank. I just married his freaking widow!!!

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.


BIEKE’S BARCalle Principal, Costambar

(across from Jenny’s Internet Café)

Join Bieke, Liz & BarryMon - Sat 12 noon - 10pm

Every SaturdayBieke Burger & Fries

RD$160Cheeseburger & Fries

RD$180

A GREAT PLACE TO WATCH

THE WORLD GO BY!

Calle Cadiz,

Costambar

Happy Hour

4pm-6pm

Satellite TV

Watch All Your Favourite Sports

Mondays

Movie Nite

Movie Chosen by Popular Demand

LARGEST BIG SCREEN IN

COSTAMBAR!

Wednesdays

Karaoke by Linz

Saturdays

Darts

SERVING FOOD NIGHTLY!

www.spikesbarcostambar.com

Open Daily

from 4 pm

After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London,

all the brewery presidents decided to go out for

a beer.

The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey

Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a

Corona."

The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf

and gives it to him.

The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best

beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a

Budweiser."

The bartender gives him one.

The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer

made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give

me a Coors."

He gets it.

The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give

me a Coke."

The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives

him what he ordered.

The other brewery presidents look over at him

and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?"

and the Guinness president replies,

“Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer,

neither would I."

Duct tape is like the Force.

It has a light side & a dark

side, and it holds the

universe together.


“LOS TRES COCOS”in Las Rocas

Snack-Café-RestaurantMiky & Arelis

Owners1-809-993-4503

Closed

Tuesday

INTERNATIONAL

SPECIALTIES

SUNDAY BRUNCHSeptember 7 &21

11am to 2pmReservations Recommended

Open from 8am to 11pm

Closed Mondays

Tel:809-970-7638

Cel: 809-852-1015

CLOSED FROM SEPTEMBER 29

FOR VACATION

WILL WE BE OPEN AGAIN ON

OCTOBER 21

Dear Auntie Social:

I’m planning to move my life to the North Coast

and am really excited! Unfortunately, I’m not

wealthy enough to just live a life of leisure and

will have to have a source of income. I’ve been

doing my research and brainstorming and have

come up with what I think is a great business

plan. Instead of going the beach bar route I

think I’ve found a thus far untapped business

opportunity. I’ve noticed a distinct lack of

tanning salons on the North Coast and plan to

open a chain of them all along the coast. I

value your advice Auntie - do you think I’ve

come up with a great plan or what?

Signed

Brains and Bronze

Dear Bronze:

You chose your business school off the back of a

matchbook, didn’t you?

Do yourself a favour and get your own little

beach bar where you can spend the days

enjoying cold Presidentes and having

enlightening ‘brainstorming’ sessions with many

others that have the same keen business

acumen you demonstrate.

AUNTIE SOCIAL

APPARENTLY, IN LUPERON, WHEN THEY SAY

‘GO PLAY IN THE TRAFFIC’

THEY REALLY MEAN IT!

If you have a uniquely Dominican problem or you know of an ‘only here’ situation drop Auntie Social a line [email protected] wants to help! Really, she does!!!


Calle Anacaona, Costambar(Residence Atlantic One)

International CuisineIncluding Paella, Filet Mignon,

Lobster, Cordon Bleu & Much More

Relaxing Ambience Great ServiceGood Music Fabulous Cocktails

Wireless Internet Hot Spot

For Reservations Call 829-728-7805

Bar & RestaurantMarco Polo

FREE GLASS OF RED OR WHITE WINE WITH EVERY MAIN DISH ORDERED!

FREE GLASS OF RED OR WHITE WINE WITH EVERY MAIN DISH ORDERED!

*

*

DINNER SPECIALMixed Salad

Trio Dominicano (Chicken Breast, Pork Filet & Beef Filet)with vegetables & choice of potato

Creme CaramelGlass of Wine

RD$460

LUXURY VILLA RENTAL AT CASA OBEAR BY THE WEEK -

Call 809-837-6845Email [email protected]

STARTING SEPTEMBER 1STKaren (formerly of Irish Tavern) is opening the Bar & RestaurantMonday to Saturday 8am to 4pm

Serving Breakfast, Brunch & Lunch!

Feel free to swim or play pool!

GOLF EXPLAINEDGolf!: Can best be defined as an endless series of tragedies, obscured by the occasional miracle, followed by a good bottle of beer. Golf!: You hit down to make the ball go up. You swing left and the ball goes right. The lowest score wins. And on top of that, the winner buys the drinks! Golf is harder than baseball. In golf, you have to play your foul balls. The term "Mulligan" is really a contraction of the phrase " maul-it-again." A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers ... neither of whom can putt very well. An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play; it is always possible to get worse. Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and shank it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out and for no reason at all you really stink. If your best shots are the practice swing and the "gimme putt", you might wish to reconsider this game. Golf is the only sport where the most feared opponent is you. Golf is like marriage: If you take yourself too seriously it won't work , and both are pretty damned expensive! The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

CROSS EXAMINATIONA defense attorney was cross-examining a police officer during a felony trial - it went like this: Q. Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene? A. No sir, but I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender running several blocks away. Q. Officer, who provided this description? A. The officer who responded to the scene. Q. A fellow officer provided the description of this so- called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?A. Yes sir, with my life. Q. With your life? Let me ask you this then officer - do you have a locker room in the police station - a room where you change your clothes in preparation for you daily duties?A. Yes sir, we do. Q. And do you have a locker in that room? A. Yes sir, I do. Q. And do you have a lock on your locker? A. Yes sir. Q. Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those same officers? A. You see sir, we share the building with a court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. With that, the courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called.


BEGINNER INTERMEDIATE

SOLUTIONS TO PUZZLES ON PAGE 16

HIDDEN MESSAGE:SANDCASTLE

Shop in Our New Supermarket & Gift Shop!

Shop in Our New Supermarket & Gift Shop!

BBQ Chicken Every Sunday!


Chris & Mady’s SuitesNOW RENTING!

Studio, 1 & 2 Bedroom Ocean Front Apartments

Daily and weekly rates availableEmail for rates & availability

[email protected]

Chris & Mady’sPlaya Cofresi

Chris & Mady’sPlaya Cofresi

Check out our website - www.chrisandmadys.com

Come Try Our Seafood &Lobster

Specials

WE HAVE

WIRELESS INTERNET!!!

WATCH ALL YOUR FAVOURITE SPORTS!

Call for times and events 809-970-7502

English Premier League

NFL Football

College Football

SEPTEMBER 2008 COSTAMBAR MONTHLY 2 · 9/9/2008 · RD$220,000 or best offer. Call 829-838-8498 FOR...

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Transcript of SEPTEMBER 2008 COSTAMBAR MONTHLY 2 · 9/9/2008 · RD$220,000 or best offer. Call 829-838-8498 FOR...