SENSATIONAL SHORTS

Something was eating the rubbish in Bryn’s room.

The rubbish in Bryn’s room was being eaten.

The rubbish in Bryn’s room was being eaten by something.

Something was living in Bryn’s room.

Bryn’s room was being lived in.

Bryn’s room was being lived in by something.

Stage 1 Screen 1

Bryn was puzzled. What was in the bowl that Mam was waving under his nose? He squinted down at it. It looked grey and furry and it smelled like … like … ah yes. Mouldy cheddar. Bryn recognised the smell of his room.

One day, Bryn was in his room. Mam waved something under Bryn’s nose. It was a bowl. There was something odd in it. It was grey and furry. It smelled odd.

Bryn, who was 11, sat on his comfortable bed, watching his 14-inch portable TV. His new bedcover matched his City strip and his walls were carefully painted in his team colours. It was a sunny day and Bryn was happily wondering what he was going to do. He was cheerful and fit with dark brown hair and freckles. He was a champion football player and he supported City. He never missed one of their matches if he could help it.

Stage 2 Screen 1

After he let Fuzzy go, Bryn went home. He had his tea and watched telly and then he went to bed.

In the morning Bryn woke up and looked at his messy room. Oh no! It was all a dream!

Occasionally, when he was passing, Bryn popped in to see the rubbish tip. He never saw Fuzzy again, but as long as the tip kept on getting emptier, Bryn knew that all was well.

He always kept his room clean and fresh though. He didn’t need another Fuzzy in his life! Although his eyes watered from the smell, Bryn sometimes visited that far from sweet-smelling tip. He didn’t see any of the grey and furry fuzzies, but he knew in his heart of hearts that they were well and happy.

After that, Bryn always carefully cleaned under his comfortable bed with the powerful vacuum cleaner.

Stage 2 Screen 2

‘Look at this!’Mam waved something under Bryn’s

nose. He sniffed at it. Ah, yes, mouldy cheddar: the smell of his very own room. He squinted down, and found himself looking at something grey and furry in the bottom of a bowl; some very old cereal, perhaps – or just possibly a dead mouse.

Mam put her head close to Bryn’s.‘This must be the most revolting

place in Wales.’ She spoke quietly, but her voice sent a shiver of doom down Bryn’s back. ‘Clean it up!’

She stalked out; and Bryn, sighing, wondered where on earth to start.

Dialogue openingNew characters and action

Dialogue to show new actionSame speaker; no new paragraphNew action; change of emphasis from Mam to Bryn

Stage 2 Screen 3

Oh no! I shouldn’t have taken the bottom layer, it should have been the middle. That way it wouldn’t have shown at all. Idiot, idiot …

If I had taken the middle layer …

If I hadn’t taken the bottom layer ...

Stage 3 Screen 1

Yes, we could explain it. Two rough boys had attacked us. They’d tried to take the cake, we had bravely saved the cake, but in the struggle, we’d dropped the cake …

If the boys hadn’t attacked us …

If there hadn’t been a struggle …

If we hadn’t dropped the cake …

If Ann’s mother had believed us …

Stage 3 Screen 2

I’m not saying my mum’s a bad cook. But the angel cake she baked for the cake stall at the village fête was a disaster. It looked like the cat had sat on it.

‘If I turn it upside down,’ she said, ‘and ice it, the dent in the middle won’t show.’

She turned it upside down – and the middle fell out.

‘Don’t cry,’ I said. ‘We can fill up the hole with something round and not too heavy –’

Mum bakes a disastrous cake.

She thinks of a way to hide it.

It fails.

Narrator offers a solution.

Stage 3 Screen 3

Introduction

Problem

Climax

Resolution

ConclusionMum makes disastrous cake. Makes a plan to fill the hole and buy the cake back.

Cake can’t be bought back. Look for it.

Find cake at tea party.

Stage 3 Screen 4

Abby’s my best friend and this happened to her sister, and Abby told me about it, so I know it’s true.

Her sister’s 18 and she’s got a car, and she’s called Rachel. Last week, well, she went to a late night party. Somewhere in town, I don’t know where exactly, and it ended very late. About two o’clock.

By the time Rachel drove home, the city was all empty. That’s spooky!

Is the narrator:• adult or child?• a boy or a girl?• what kind of age?

Stage 4 Screen 1

My 18-year-old daughter, Rachel, had something of a scare last week. She was driving home at about two in the morning, when she noticed that she was being closely followed by a truck. The driver kept on flashing his lights at her, driving far too close and generally acting in a threatening manner.

But she kept her head, drove straight home and leaned on the horn to attract my attention. Of course I rushed out – I had been waiting up to check that she was home safely – to see what the problem was and was confronted by this huge driver getting out of his truck. As I reached for Rachel to pull her to safety, this amazing man yanked open her back door just in time to stop a lunatic with an axe from attacking Rachel. I was very surprised!

Stage 4 Screen 2

‘There’s room for one more.’ That’s what he said. She could hear his voice quite clearly.Then she tugged the curtains so they crossed over, and ran back across the room, and jumped into bed, and pulled the duvet up over her head. And when she woke up next morning, she really wasn’t sure whether it was all a dream or not.

‘There’s room for one more.’ That’s what he said. She could hear his voice quite clearly.Then she tugged the curtains so they crossed over, and ran back across the room, and jumped into bed, and pulled the duvet up over her head. And when she woke up next morning, she really wasn’t sure whether it was all a dream or not.

Stage 4 Screen 3

• lack of resolution to the climax• some use of stereotypical characters and situations – which

may resolve themselves in an unexpected way• the suspense can either be the character’s (as in In the Back

Seat) or the reader’s (as in Room for One More)• we know comparatively little about any of the main characters

– this focuses attention on the events, rather than on the characters; necessary description only

(cont.)

Features of suspense texts

Stage 5 Screen 1

• there is an identifiable ‘trigger point’ near the beginning of the story which pre-warns the reader that something that the main character doesn’t expect is going to happen

• action sequences are built using short sentences (or complex sentences with short clauses), with longer sentences and clauses being used to release tension

• a short, sometimes ungrammatical paragraph to signal a surprising event.

Features of suspense texts

Stage 5 Screen 2

I said. ‘Don’t cry, because I think that if we fill up the hole with something round and not too heavy, like toilet roll, and then we camouflage the whole lot with icing, nobody will ever know the difference. Then, as soon as the fête opens, I’ll nip down and buy the cake and no one will ever know.’

Then I went upstairs and got the toilet roll and we solemnly tore off the toilet paper and stuffed the cardboard roll into the hole. Then we packed the hole with toilet paper but the paper got a bit soggy, so we ended up using more than I had expected to and by the time the hole was filled up I was exhausted.

Stage 5 Screen 3

‘The next morning, Mum took the cake down to the village fête and handed it to the person in charge. She came back and told me how much they had admired the cake and we laughed a bit at that.

Later that afternoon, just as the fête was due to open, I wandered down to the village green to buy the cake back. I soon saw the cake stall, and imagine my surprise when I reached the cake stall and couldn’t see the cake.’

Stage 5 Screen 4

The lane near my home was always dark. My brother said it was haunted. But he always liked to scare me. One night I was late. My dad would be cross. I decided to walk up the lane. It was dark. Very dark. I began to hum to myself. I wasn’t afraid. Honest. Then I heard something. Footsteps. I stopped humming. I turned. I couldn’t see anything. Or could I? Was that shadow moving? I started walking again. A bit faster. Humming louder. I heard something again. It was walking with me. A bit faster. Suddenly, I stopped. A second later the footsteps stopped. I looked over my shoulder. I still couldn’t see anything. I shouted. I ran.

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and I knew that my so

Stage 5 Screen 5

Boo!She didn’t like it at all when her father had to go down

to London and, for the first time, she had to sleep alone in the old house.

Boo!She didn’t like it at all when her father had to go down

to London and, for the first time, she had to sleep alone in the old house.

She went up to her bedroom early. She turned the key and locked the door. She latched the windows and drew the curtains. She peered inside her wardrobe, and pulled open the bottom drawer of her chest of drawers; she got down on her knees and looked underthe bed.

Boo!She didn’t like it at all when her father had to go down

to London and, for the first time, she had to sleep alone in the old house.

She went up to her bedroom early. She turned the key and locked the door. She latched the windows and drew the curtains. She peered inside her wardrobe, and pulled open the bottom drawer of her chest of drawers; she got down on her knees and looked under the bed.

She undressed; she put on her nightdress.

Boo!She didn’t like it at all when her father had to go down

to London and, for the first time, she had to sleep alone in the old house.

She went up to her bedroom early. She turned the key and locked the door. She latched the windows and drew the curtains. She peered inside her wardrobe, and pulled open the bottom drawer of her chest of drawers; she got down on her knees and looked under the bed.

She undressed; she put on her nightdress. She pulled back the heavy linen cover and climbed

into bed. Not to read but to try and sleep – she wanted to sleep as soon as she could. She reached out and turned off the lamp.

Stage 5 Screen 6

What was that? He stood stock still, hardly daring to breathe.

One night I woke up because I needed to go to the toilet.

The bathroom door stood open at the far end of the moonlit hall.

Sam lived in an old, creaky house. Although the creaks in the day were familiar, those at night were not.

I wasn’t scared. Well, not exactly scared. A bit nervous maybe. But I’d been woken by a noise. An odd noise. In the middle of the night.

Stage 5 Screen 7

Siddhartha was destined to become an emperor, holy man or teacher. His father, the king, wanted him to be an emperor, so protected him.

As a boy, Siddhartha was skilled at many things, but knew nothing about death and suffering.

All his life he cared for animals and wouldn’t kill living things.

Devadatta, Siddhartha’s cousin, shot a swan but didn’t kill it.

Siddhartha wanted to save the swan. Devadatta wanted to kill it.

The judge said that Siddhartha was right.

Buddha was born more than 2500 years ago.

When Siddhartha was a boy

One day

As soon as he saw the swan fall

Now it was up to the judge to decideAll his life

Stage 6 Screen 1

The face at the window looked somehow familiar to Jake. It was a boy’s face, about the same age as him. It was always at the window, half hidden behind the curtain, as Jake walked past the house. He’d never seen the boy playing out. The face had a mournful look; maybe the boy was ill, and stuck in his room all day.

Jake asked his mum. ‘Who lives at number six?’‘Oh, that’s the house which we nearly bought last year.

It’s bigger than ours – more of a garden too. We couldn’t afford it, though – like living in an alternative universe, I reckon! Dreamland!’

But Jake was curious about the boy. ‘Who lives there now?’

‘It’s empty.’ ‘But there’s a boy…’His mum hardly listened.

The face at the window looked somehow familiar to Jake. It was a boy’s face, about the same age as him. It was always at the window, half hidden behind the curtain, as Jake walked past the house. He’d never seen the boy playing out. The face had a mournful look; maybe the boy was ill, and stuck in his room all day.

Jake asked his mum. ‘Who lives at number six?’‘Oh, that’s the house which we nearly bought last year.

It’s bigger than ours – more of a garden too. We couldn’t afford it, though – like living in an alternative universe, I reckon! Dreamland!’

But Jake was curious about the boy. ‘Who lives there now?’

‘It’s empty.’ ‘But there’s a boy …’His mum hardly listened.

Stage 6 Screen 2

Jake sees the boy at number six buthis Mum says that number six is empty.

Jake waves to the boy, then he goes to talk to him.

The boy warns Jake that ‘it’ is tomorrow. Jake recognises the boy as himself and runs away.

Jake is ill. A lorry runs into number six.Jake’s mum tells him at lunchtime.

Jake’s mum and dad want to buy number six, but it costs too much.

Stage 6 Screen 3

That’s the house we nearly bought last year.

We nearly bought that house last year.

It wasn’t until the boy beckoned to him the following day that he decided he would knock.

The boy beckoned to him the following day so he decided he would knock.

He decided he would knock when the boy beckoned to him the following day.

Stage 6 Screen 4

1. Dad, Gran and Grandad went to Tasmania.

6. Grandad had seen a thylacine and taken its photograph.

2. Dad, Gran and Grandad came back from Tasmania.

4. The narrator had to tie his dog up outside the home.

7. The narrator realised his own dog was related to a thylacine.

3. The narrator visited his grandad in an old people’s home.

5. Gran died.

Stage 7 Screen 1

She smiled to herself as she snuggled down in her cosy bed. Through her drooping eyelashes, she looked contentedly around her familiar room. How happy she felt!

She just couldn’t get to sleep! As she tossed and turned on the lumpy mattress she kept starting awake at the strange noises in this unwelcoming house. The ancient boiler groaned in the distance and the floorboards moaned as they contracted with cold.The rhythmic blinking of the lights on the spaceship’s computers was soothing. She had set the cyber alarm to wake her with quiet music so now she could settle into her contoured bed with a clear conscience, knowing that she had done all that she could do.

Stage 8 Screen 1

How difficult it was to sleep in that strange bed!

It was difficult to sleep in that strange bed.

How difficult was it to sleep in that strange bed?

That strange bed was difficult to sleep in.

Stage 8 Screen 2

She wrestled with the duvet and thumped the pillow; she turned her back on the flimsy curtains; she wished she had never come up to London.

She wrestled with the duvet and thumped the pillow. She turned her back on the flimsy curtains. She wished she had never come up to London.

She wrestled with the duvet, thumped the pillow, turned her back on the flimsy curtains and wished she had never come up to London.

Stage 8 Screen 3

She heard the grandfather clock whirr and strike.

She heard the gravel in the driveway crunch.

She jumped out of bed.

She crossed the room.

She peeped between the curtains.

Stage 8 Screen 4

Dad, Gran and Grandad went to Tasmania.

Grandad had seen a thylacine and taken its photograph.

Dad. Gran and Grandad came back from Tasmania.

The narrator had to tie his dog up outside the old people’s home.

The narrator realised his own dog was related to a thylacine.

The narrator visited his grandad in an old people’s home.

Gran died.

Stage 9 Screen 1

Grandad lived in a home and was visited by his grandson but not his son.

Grandad and his family emigrated to Tasmania when they were younger.

Grandad’s fish business was not successful, so he and his family came back to England.

Grandad lived in a home and was visited by his grandson but not his son.

Grandad and his family emigrated to Tasmania when they were younger.

Grandad’s fish business was not successful, so he and his family came back to England.

Stage 9 Screen 2

• Beautiful princess has wicked stepmother.• Princess is made to do all the work.• Princess manages to meet prince.• Prince and princess fall in love and get married.• Stepmother angry.

Stage 10 Screen 1

• Beautiful princess kidnapped by fearsome dragon.• King promises a bag of gold, half his kingdom and his daughter’s hand

in marriage to any knight brave enough to rescue her.• Handsome young knight on brave white horse sets off to track down

and kill fearsome dragon.• Knight arrives at dragon’s lair. Fights with dragon and kills it.• Princess falls into knight’s arms.• Knight proposes to princess who promises to marry him.• Knight and princess ride home on brave white horse.

Stage 10 Screen 2