Seminar 08P - Balanced Leadership: The Role of Behavior Styles (separate registration is required)...

8/20/2019 Seminar 08P - Balanced Leadership: The Role of Behavior Styles (separate registration is required) (286666294)

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Balanced Leadership: The Role of

Behavior Styles and Emotional IntelligenceMorris W. Beverage Jr., EDM

President, Lakeland Community College



Balanced Leadership:The Role of Behavior Styles



Exercise: Let’s Discover

Something Ao!t "!rselves#

Complete your individual profile

Selet t!e "ord t!at most desri#esyou at "ork

$!ere are no rig!t or "rong ans"ers

%o one "ill see your seletions



$o!r Behavior Style %rofile

W!i! &you' "as your fous at t!e

time you ompleted t!e profile(

E)ternal onditions and situations

e)ist at t!e present time t!at may

impat your urrent response

*void la#els



Tas&s vs' %eople

More, #etter, faster Capa#le, ompetent

Likea#le

Tas&s %eople



%rocess vs' Expediency

$!oroug!,ompre!ensive, needto make one +-$

deision/ast, gut, 0uik

%rocess Expediency



Behavior Styles

Task

People

Process(Ask)

Expediency(Tell)

A c c u r a c y

A c t i o n

A p p r

o v a l A

p p r e c i a t i o n

ANALYZER CONTROLLER

STABILIZER PERSUAER

(o)

(o "i#$)

1 Effetiveness nstitute



(reating $o!r %rofile

Step 2ne $ally your results

Step $"o Complete page 3 4Bar -rap!5

Step $!ree Complete page 6 4StyleCom#inations5

Step /our /ind your om#inations 4Pages

7893 or pg. 9: for 2ver#alane5Step /ive -roup yourselves #y style



Disc!ssion

; +evie" your style as summari<ed on t!e

=uik +eferene Card and disuss "it!

your style group

; Do t!ese desriptions ring true for you(

; Do t!ey make sense to you( Do t!eysuggest approa!es t!at you appreiate or

to "!i! you respond positively(



A)AL$*ERS

; $endeny to"ard perfetionism

; Deisions and information provided are

usually aurate and t!oug!tful

; Deal "it! fats, data, logi, details

; Sometimes slo" to make deisions

; May appear overly autious and not good

risk8takers; /eelings and emotions kept inside




%ositives and )egatives per Style

A

+

ndustrious

Persistent

Serious

E)ating

2rderly

,

Critial

ndeisive

Stuffy

Piky

Moralisti

(

S %




Analy-ers in Teams#

Contri#utions ; Pereived as t!oroug!, analytial andaurate, a#ove all else

; /ous on getting t!ings rig!t 4emp!asison &task' rat!er t!an &people'5

Limitations ; Can overanaly<e t!ings t!at don>t"arrant t!e attention 4analysis8paralysis5

; Conern for getting it rig!t an slo" orfree<e t!e team>s progress

; Can #e pereived as aloof and !ave ane)essive onern "it! perfetion t!atan stifle reativity in t!e group

/ear ; ?n"arranted personal ritiism




.ith Analy-ers#

D" D")’T

Prepare in advane

Be aurate

Be diret

List pros and onsPresent speifis

Be persistent

?se timeta#les for ations

Provide tangi#le, pratial

evidene

Be disorgani<ed or messy

Be asual, informal or loud

+us! deision8making

/ail to follo" t!roug!Waste time

Leave t!ings to !ane

$!reaten or a@ole

?se opinions as evidene

Be manipulative




STABILI*ERS

; &Warm and fu<<ies'

; People and friends!ips are very important

; -ood at @uggling multiple tasks

; Conerned a#out feelings of ot!ers

; Dependa#le

; *greea#leA less inlined to speak t!eir mind

openly; Can get !urt feelings or #e offended easily





A (

S

+

Supportive

+espetful

Willing

Dependa#le

*greea#le

,

Conforming

?nsure

Plia#le

Dependent

*"k"ard

%




Staili-ers in Teams#Contri#utions ; 2ften vie"ed #y team mem#ers as a

good team player ; Empat!eti and sensitive to t!e needs

of ot!ers; Likes !armony in team

Limitations ; Can #e indeisive, un"illing to onfrontdiretly, and resist !ange

; Beause of t!eir need to maintain team!armony, t!eir o"n needs may #esuppressed. 2ver time, t!is an auseresentment and a degree of passive8

aggressiveness; %ot inlined to ele#rate t!eiraomplis!ments, yet t!ey an #eomefrustrated and per!aps resentful if t!eirontri#utions go unnotied too long

/ear ; Confusion, !aos, and !ange1 Effetiveness nstitute



.ith Staili-ers#

D" D")’T

Start "it! a personal omment

S!o" sinere interest in t!emas people

Listen and #e responsiveBe asual and non8t!reatening

*sk &!o"' 0uestions

Wat! for !urt feelings

Provide assuranes

+us! into #usiness

Stik onstantly to #usiness

/ore t!em to respond 0uikly

Be demandingDe#ate fats figures

Be a#rupt

Be patroni<ing

Deide for t!em




(")TR"LLERS

; Strong, deisive and results8oriented

; Provide strong guidane for ot!ers

; May appear pus!y at times

; Demanding of #ot! t!emselves and ot!ers

; ig!ly self8ritial

; EffiientA resent t!ose "!o &"aste' time

"it! idle !it8!at





A

+

Strong8"illed

ndependent

Pratial

DeisiveEffiient

,

Pus!y

Severe

$oug!

Dominatingars!

(

S %




(ontrollers in Teams#

Con#ri%&#ions

; A%le #o 'ake decisions "$enno one else "an#s #o

; Is no# araid #o conron# #o&$iss&es

; E'%races c$ane as a

personal c$alleneLi'i#a#ions ; Can %e percei*ed as o*erly

opiniona#ed+ co'%a#i*e+arroan#+ i'pa#ien#+ and likec$ane or c$ane,s sake

; -ay o*erex#end $i'.$erseld&e #o co'pe#in priori#iesand %eco'e ine/cien#

0ear ; Losin con#rol




.ith (ontrollers#

D" D")’T

Be speifi #rief

Stik to #usiness

Be prepared

Present fats learly *sk &"!at' 0uestions

Provide alternative solutions

$ake issue "it! fats

+am#le or "aste time

Be disorgani<ed or messy

Leave loop!oles or #e unlear

*sk r!etorial 0uestionsMake deisions for t!em

Speulate

Be diretive




%ERS/ADERS

; Like to get ot!ers involved in ativities

; ig!ly reative and ent!usiasti

; 2perate primarily #y intuition

; Party peopleA like to !ave a good time; Little tolerane for t!ose "!o are not

e)pressive

; Easily #ored or distrated

; Diffiult to keep on task





A (

S

+

*m#itious

Stimulating

Ent!usiasti

Dramati

/riendly

,

Manipulative

E)ita#le

?ndisiplined

+eating

Egotistial

%




%ers!aders in Teams#

Contri#utions ; as great ent!usiasm for "orking "it!ot!ers

; nspires and motivates ot!ers; *l"ays availa#le to ot!ers; -ives positive feed#ak easily to

ot!ers

Limitations ; Can #e pereived as disorgani<edand superfiial in t!eir approa! totasks and people

; Can overdo emotional e)pression

/ear ; Being #lamed or disliked




.ith %ers!aders#

D" D")’T

Be fast8moving, entertaining

Leave time for soiali<ing

$alk a#out t!eir goals

Deal "it! t!e &#ig' piture *sk for t!eir opinions ideas

Provide e)amples from peoplet!ey #elieve are important2ffer inentives or re"ards

Legislate

Be old, aloof, or tig!t8lipped

Press for solutions

Deal "it! detailsBe dogmati

$alk do"n to t!em




(onstr!ctive 0eedac&

$o! are an expert on

O#$er people,s %e$a*ior

Yo&r eelins

$o! are )"T an expert on

Yo&r %e$a*ior

O#$er people,s eelins



%hilosophy of a

1ood (omm!nicator

*ssume 9 of t!e responsi#ility for

understanding "!at t!e ot!er personmeans.

*ssume 9 of t!e responsi#ility for

making sure t!at t!e person you areommuniating "it! understands you .



Trust and RespectAc$ie*e'en#

Accep#ance

0li$# 0i$#

Thinking Activity

IntuitionRelationships

Respec# (reard or)

T r & s #

( r e l y o n )




.hy Increase 0lexiility2

; Fou "ant to understand !o" ot!ers see you.

; Fou value #eing more effetive "it! ot!ers.

; Fou are "illing to o#tain a more realisti

piture of your impat.

; Fou pay attention a"are pik up lues.

; Fou allo" ade0uate time to learn !o" to

ad@ust.



Impact of Tension on Behavior

o" does tension impat our #e!avior(

Do all styles reat t!e same "ay(W!at !appens "!en "e an>t get rid of

t!e tension(



3ariales impacting

TE)SI"),REA(TI")

/amily of 2rigin

Cultural %orms

Personal Belief System

World Gie"

("RE SIT/ATI")AL

W!at is !appening(

W!o is t!e person

involved(

W!o else is present or

involved(

W!ere is t!is !appening(

W!at is my urrent energy

level(

$!ere are t"o important varia#les t!at influene

"!at you "ill do under tensionH

;The Efectiveness Institute, 20091 Effetiveness nstitute



Sit!ational Responses , Initially

W$D+*W

$*IE C2%$+2L

GE+B*L *$$*CI

*C=?ESCE

P

C

S

A


INITIAL REACTIONS TO



A C

S P

INITIAL REACTIONS TOTENSION & STRESS

Res&l#s Res&l#s

E '

o # i o n s

E '

o # i o n s

Con#rolled

Responsi*e

Process Expedien#

TAKE CONTROL

ATTACK !ERBALL"#

AC$%IESCE

IT'(RA




Tension , Reaction Behavior

%itpik

Leave

Prove t!ey are &rig!t'

Pull a"ayWit!!old emotions

E)plode

Blame

Ditate

$ake ontrolSuppress emotions

Wait too long to at

$ell ot!ers

*void-ive in get even

Worry emotionally

Ger#al attak

$alk a#out everyt!ing

Cry&Dump' it forget it

2verreat emotionally




(ontin!al )eed Deprivation

ithdra)

TakeCon#rol

A##ackAc1&iesce

2i#$dra"

Ta*e Control

A##ackAc1&iesce

2i#$dra"

TakeCon#rol

A##ack

Ac+uiesce

2i#$dra"

TakeCon#ro

l

Attac*

Ac1&iesce

In#eri#yA

Respec#C

P

Tr&s#

S

Loyal#y




The ,ones o- Co.-ort

C&rren# S#a#e

e s i r

e d S # a

# e

Co'or# isco'or# 0ear

here Learnin/ 0 Chan/e

Occurs

.hen and 4o5 Do .e Learn 6 (hange2



A"areness

In#era#ion

Skill

A"k"ardnessPrac#ice

C$oice

Stages of Learning



S!ggested Reading

; %eople Styles at .or&: 7a&ing BadRelationships 1ood and 1ood RelationshipsBetter' +o#ert Bolton and Dorot!y -rover Bolton

; Social Style67anagement Style: Developing

%rod!ctive .or& Relationships. +o#ert Boltonand Dorot!y -rover Bolton

; %ersonal Styles 8 Effective %erformance7a&e $o!r Style .or& for $o!' David W. Merrill,

P!.D., +oger . +eid, M.*.; 4o5 to Spea& and Listen Effectively' arvey *.

+o##ins



Balanced Leadership:

The Role of Emotional

Intelligence



Leadership

nfluening #e!aviors, t!oug!ts, feelings of...!uman #eings.



Leadership

; &Leaders!ip is one of t!e least

understood p!enomena on eart!.' James MacGregor Burns

; &Leaders!ip !as #een t!e su#@et of

an e)traordinary amount of

dogmatially stated nonsense.'Chester Barnard



B!ilding A Leader

• P$ysical *i#ali#y 3s#a'ina

• In#ellience

• Prac#ical 4&d'en#

• 5ision• Si#&a#ional

co'pe#ence (thekno!edge a !eader has o"the task at hand#

• A'%i#ion

• Skill in &nders#andin3 dealin "i#$ people(inc!uding "o!!oers$

constituents#

• Orani6ed

• Capaci#y #o inspireo#$ers

• 7i$ e#$ical s#andards

• 2illinness #o #akerisks

• C$aris'a . 'ane#is'

• Ora#orical skills as a

p&%lic speaker• Adap#a%ili#y+ 8exi%ili#y

o approac$

• 2illinness #o accep#responsi%ili#y



7a&ing the (ase for Emotional Intelligence

I9 vs' E9

.hat is I92

.hat is E92



I'9' Intelligence 9!otient;

* num#er t!at s!o"s t!e rating of a personKsintelligene. t is found #y dividing t!e mental

age, as s!o"n in tests, #y t!e atual age 49:

is t!e largest age used5 and multiplying it #y

9.

Intelligence Test

*ny test used to measure mental development.

Most intelligene tests inlude tasks involving

memory, reasoning, definitions, numerial a#ility,

and realling fats.



Descriptions

Cognitive apaitiesA

$e!nial e)pertiseA EduatedA

Ino"8!o"A ntelletA SmartsA

SkillsA Book8learning.

= 4t!e 0uotient omponent5 tends not

to !ange mu! past our teen years.

.hy2



.hat Then Is EI2

; E. I. 4as defined #y World Book5

t!e a#ility to understand oneself and to

empat!i<e "it! ot!ers.

&$!e p!rase emotional intelligene> "as

oined... to desri#e 0ualities like

understanding oneKs o"n feelings' and t!eregulation of emotion in a "ay t!at en!anes

living.>'

:+ Epperson+ S:E:+ -ondi+ L:+ 9ra;+ <:L:+ To"le+ L:7: (=>>? Oc# @): T$e E ac#or: TIME:



Descriptions

C!araterA PersonalityA Soft skillsA Soiallyapa#leA Self8onfidentA -ood ommuniator.

<I9 gets yo! the intervie5 =E9 gets yo! the >o'?

7isconceptionsEI does not merely mean &#eing nie.' %ordoes it mean allo"ing free rein to yourfeelings or &letting it all !ang out.'



T5o Different @inds of Intelligence

Intellect!al

and

Emotional



Research 0indings

)e!roscience Research

/inding t!at intellet is #ased solely on t!e"orkings of t!e neo8orte) 4t!e rational #rain5,

t!e more reently evolved layers at t!e top oft!e #rain. Emotional enters lo"er in t!e#rain, loser to t!e #rainstem, in t!e moreanient su#8orte) or lim#i system 4t!e

emotional #rain5. $!ese t"o different parts oft!e #rain learn differently. Emotional entersresult in skills grounded in our evolutionary!eritage for survival and adaptation.



1ender Differences2

.omen tend to #e more a"are of t!eir

emotions, s!o" more empat!y and are adept

interpersonally.

7en tend to #e more self8onfident andoptimisti, adapt more easily, and !andle

stress #etter.

o"ever, on t!e "!ole,men and "omen are generally e0ual

in total emotional intelligene.



S!rvey of o Descriptions

Position1 I$ E$

Clerical

S&per*isory

-anaerial

Presiden#



S!rvey of Attendees Responses to

9!estion of <o challenges?

I$ I$0E$ E$

I Need coni#i*e skills or

co'pe#encies #o addressc$allene:

E Need e'o#ional skills or

co'pe#encies #o addressc$allene:



The Emotional (ompetence

0rame5or&Personal Co.petence

Social Co.petence



Sel-A)areness

Sel -anae'en# Social A"areness

Rela#ions$ip -anae'en#

SocialCo.petenciesSocialCo.petencies

PersonalCo.petencies

PersonalCo.petencies

2our (o.ains o- E.otional

Intelli/ence



Pride and PrejudicePride and Pre@udie

!ideo



%ERS")AL vs.%"SITI")AL

POER BASE



The 1ood and The BadExercise



1REAT LEADERS 7"3E /S

thro!gh o!r emotions

5hich are contagio!s'



ECER(ISE

; $!ink of a leader for "!om or "it! "!omyou "orked 8 one t!at you "ould gladly"ork "it! or for again.

; $!ink of a person in a leaders!ip positiont!at you try to avoid, or left you drained, or!oping for more.

; Desri#e ea! person( o" did t!ey makeyou feel(



The 1ood , Descriptions

1ood Boss

Gisionary

umorous

Iind

*ppreiative

-oodommuniator

Clear, preise4ommuniation5

4ard 5or&er

Empat!eti

-ood team#uilder

Positive

Et!ial

Res!lts,oriented vs'process;

1ood Retail Experience

/riendly

*pproa!a#le

-ood Listener

Caring

@no5ledgeale$ook $ime

+efletive

Conerned

+esponsive

*#ove Beyond

Self Confident

$ook 2"ners!ip

C!eerfulelpful

nsig!tful

*ommodating

Persona#le



The Bad , Descriptions

Bad BossDisrespetful

Belligerent

Demeaning

Moody

%egative?net!ial

Incompetent

Disouraging

Self8a#sor#ed

Inconsistentdirection

Ginditive

Ego8maniaPrideful

Manipulative

Paranoid

Bad Retail Experience+ude

eadstrong

nsensitive

Closed

?n!elpful?nprofessional

?nonerned

/ntrained

Incompetent

?net!ial

La<y Bored

Blame ot!ers

Smarmy *rrogant

Condesending

%on8responsive



The 1ood , 0eelings

1ood BossEmpo5ered

Enth!siastic

3al!ed

Energi-ed

4opef!l(onfident

Safe

Relaxed

Mutual admiration

Respected

7otivated to excel

1ood Retail ExperienceSatisfied

$o! 5ereimportant

3al!ed

(!stomer for lifeRelieved

Pleasant

2pen

1ratef!l

mpressed

.orthy

3alidated

4appy

E!alEnco!raged

4opef!l

Special



The Bad , 0eelings

Bad BossLittle smalldemeaned

4opeless

St!pid

Drained3ery Stressed

Angry

0earf!l

Depressed

/nappreciated

Incompetent

Reellio!s

.ithdra5n

/ncooperative/nprod!ctive

Eager tosaotage

Bad Retail ExperienceAngry

Ignored

Deval!ed

/nimportant

3engef!l4elpless

/nsatisfied

Disrespected

/nsafe 63!lnerale

/sed 8A!sed

0r!strated

3ictimi-ed

Disappointed

Discontent

StressedDistressed

In shoc&

Diselief

Drained

4opeless



INTENT 3

I4PACT

INTENT 3

I4PACT



?

INTENT 303

I4PACT

INTENT 303

I4PACT



Intent vs' Impact

People "it! !ig!ly8developed EI are a"are

of t!eir MP*C$.

$!ey are autely a"are t!at t!e impat t!at behavior !as on ot!ers an #e different

from "!at you intend or e)pet.

People respond to you #ased upon "!at

t!ey pereive a#out your #e!avior, not what

you think they perceive.



Intelligence

Intellect!al

Emotional

S!ggested Reading



S!ggested Reading

-oleman, D., 49NN35. Emotional intelligence: .hy it can

matter more than I9' %e" ForkH Bantam.

-oleman, D. 49NN75. .or&ing 5ith emotional

intelligence' %e" Fork, %FH Bantam.

-oleman, D. 4O5. Leadership that gets res!lts'arvard Business +evie" Mar!8*pril, 7O87.

-oleman, D., Boyat<is, +., MIee, *. 4OO5. %rimal

leadership: Learning to lead 5ith emotional

intelligence' Boston, M*H arvard Business S!oolPress.

Sterrett, E.*. 4O5. The manager’s poc&et g!ide to

emotional intelligence' *m!erst, M*H +D Press.

E.otional Intelli/ence5 Learnin/



E.otional Intelli/ence5 Learnin/4o.ents



The Experience



Watch your words; they become actions.

Watch your actions; they become habits.

Watch your habits; they become character.

Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.

/rank 2utla"

0ood for Tho!ght



(oncl!ding Tho!ghts

ere is Ed"ard Bear,

oming do"nstairs no",

#ump, #ump, #ump

on t!e #ak of !is !ead

#e!ind C!ristop!er +o#in.



(oncl!ding Tho!ghts

t is, as far as Ed"ard kno"s,

t!e only "ay of oming

do"nstairs.



(oncl!ding Tho!ghts

But sometimes,

!e feels t!at t!ere is anot!er "ay,

if only !e ould stop

#umping for a

moment, and t!ink

a#out it.



Thank %ou&

Balanced Leadership:

The Role of Behavior Styles andEmotional Intelligence



ADDE)D/7 to

Behavior Styles andEmotional Intelligence



%otentially (ompatile Relationships

Controller and *naly<er

*naly<er and Sta#ili<er

Sta#ili<er and Persuader

Controller and Persuader



Behavior Styles: Tr!st

; /or t!is disussion, &trust' meansI can rely on you for repeated patterns of

expected behavior .

T$ere is percei*ed a&#$en#ici#yD yo& arereal+ yo& are en&ine:

T$ere is a percei*ed pa##ern in

%e$a*ior: I '&s# %elie*e yo& CARE:

h i



The TR%ST Continuu.

T R % S T

U n # r & s # " o r # $ y

i s # r & s

#

S k e p # i c a

l

- a y % e

C o n d i # i o n a

l

T r & s # " o r # $ y

U n

c o n d i # i o n a

l



Behavior Styles: Respect

; W!ile trust ties to t!e !emistry part of arelations!ip, &respet' ties to t!e talents

and skills a person brings to the

relationship.

I# is #ied #o #$e ac# #$a# yo& are ood a#doin so'e#$in:

I $a*e a $i$ reard orF yo&r a%ili#y #o&se yo&r #alen#s and skills:

Th RESPECT C ti



The RESPECT Continuu.

R E S P E C T

i s r e s p e c #

N o R e s p e c #

o n

o # R e s p e c #

- a y % e

& e R e s p e c #

R e s p e c # & l

A d ' i r e



Emotional Intelligence (onsiderations

o" an "e strengt!en ompeteniest!at are urrently less developed(

o" does t!is information s!ape t!e "ay

"e guide and interat "it! ot!ers( o" does our understanding of #e!avior

styles impat our EI(

o" an "e use t!is information to #e#etter leaders in our "ork( n t!eommunity(



Developing $o!r Emotional Intelligence

*ting Wit! ntegrity

Diffiult !oies our

*lign !oies "it! ore values

%egative impat from #eing &out of alignment'



/nderstanding the Applicaility of EI

-ifted individuals "!o are e)eptionally #rig!tan also #e remarka#ly ineffetive andunprodutive

Consider your o"n area of e)pertise8 "!i!omponents are intelletual and "!i! areemotional( 4Banking, Pu#li *dministration,Eduation, Servie Providers, Engineering,Community Development, et5

Be!aviors are learned and an #e &unlearned'



Another 3ie5

Per Daniel -oleman

EI refers to t!e apaity for reogni<ing our o"n feelings

and t!ose of ot!ers, for motivating ourselves and for

managing emotions "ell in ourselves and in our

relations!ips.

and

EI is t!e &a#ility to motivate oneself and persist in t!e fae

of frustrations, to ontrol and delay gratifiation, to

regulate one>s moods, to empat!i<e and to !ope.' 4p. Q5

9ole'an+ : (=>>?): Emotiona! inte!!igence' h% it can matter more than I)* Ne" YorkG



The (ase for Emotional Intelligence

; L>2real sales agents seleted on t!e#asis of E ompetenies

SiniHcan#ly o&#sold sales people

selec#ed &sin old proced&res: Sold J>=+KM 'ore #$an o#$er aen#s

or a ne# re*en&e increase o o*er J@:?'illion:

7ad K less #&rno*er d&rin #$eirHrs# year:



The (ase for Emotional Intelligence

; *fter supervisors in a manufaturing plantreeived E training

Los# #i'e acciden#s "ere red&ced %y

?M 0or'al rie*ances "ere red&ced ro'

an a*erae o =? per year #o K peryear

T$e plan# exceeded prod&c#i*i#y oals%y J@?M+MMM

A (

S %



Sel-6A)areness

no"in one,s in#ernal s#a#es+preerences+ reso&rces and in#&i#ions:

E'o#ional A"arenessAcc&ra#e Selassess'en#

SelconHdence

PERSONAL CO-PETENCE

PERSONAL CO-PETENCE

A (

S %



Sel-6Re/ulation

-anain one,s in#ernals#a#es+ preerences andreso&rces:

Selcon#rol

Tr&s#"or#$inessConscien#io&sness

Adap#a%ili#yInno*a#ion

4otivation

E'o#ional #endencies#$a# &ide or acili#a#ereac$in oals:

Ac$ie*e'en# ri*e

Co''i#'en#Ini#ia#i*eOp#i'is'

PERSONAL CO-PETENCE

Sel- 4ana/e.ent

SOCIAL CO-PETENCE

A (

S %



E.pathy

A"areness o o#$ers, eelins+needs and concerns:

Unders#andin O#$erse*elopin O#$ersSer*ice Orien#a#ion

Le*erain i*ersi#y

Poli#ical A"areness

SOCIAL CO-PETENCE

SOCIAL CO-PETENCE

A (

S %



Social S*ills

Adep#ness a# ind&cin desira%le

res&l#s ro' o#$ers:

In8&enceCo''&nica#ion

Con8ic# -anae'en#Leaders$ip

C$ane Ca#alys#B&ildin Bonds



(omm!nication is#

; ?nderstanding #et"een and amongpeople

; *n interdependent proess

; %ot neessarily agreement; Constant. Fou annot %2$ ommuniate.

We onstantly ommuniate, and "e

onstantly reeive ommuniation fromot!ers.



Basic %rinciples of (omm!nication

; N of interpersonal ommuniationtakes plae on t!e unonsious level.

; People @udge you #y your behavior , not

your intent.

; People are motivated #y their needs, not

yours.



(omm!nicating Thro!gh 0ilters

values

assu.ptions

interests pre7udice

stron/ -eelin/s

past e8perience

e8pectations

physical environ.ent

.e.ories

attitudes



4o5 .e (omm!nicate

; W!at people an see; W!at people an !ear

; W!at "e atually say

Communiation is in t!e mind of t!e

reipient. Fou>re @ust making noise if t!e

ot!er person doesn>t !ear you.



Effective (omm!nicators#

; ?nderstand !o" ommuniation ours; ?nderstand t!eir o"n ommuniation #e!avior

style

; Learn to diagnose t!e ommuniation needs of

ot!ers; Develop listening skills

; Communiate "it! ot!ers in a "ay t!at issensitive to and a"are of t!eir needs

Easier said than done, huh?

. ld ’ i if ld



.o!ldn’t it e great if yo! co!ld#

; ?nderstand !o" your preferred style of "orking omesaross to ot!er people(

; &+ead' ot!er people>s #e!avior so you>ll kno" t!e #est

"ay to "ork "it! t!em(

; /ind ommon ground "it! people "!ile maintainingyour individuality and integrity(

; *d@ust your #e!avior in small "ays t!at dramatially

improve results among different styles(

; +elate effetivelyRno matter !o" ot!ers reat to you(eople !tyles at Work" #aking $ad %elationships &ood and &ood

%elationships $etter. +o#ert Bolton and Dorot!y -rover Bolton.



“Trust me Mort – no electronic-communications superhighway, no matter

how vast and sophisticated, will ever replace the art of the schmooze.”

Eff ti ( i ti T h i



Effective (omm!nication Techni!es

; ?se feed#ak; C!oose appropriate 4and per!aps multiple5

!annels E'ail+ p$one+ oneononeQ

A'o&n# o inor'a#ion and #i'inQ; Be sensitive to t!e reeiver ; Be a"are of o#serva#le #e!aviors and

sym#oli meanings

; ?se simple language; ?se repetition

'ow to !peak and (isten Effectively , arvey *. +o##ins.

7 t ( % Li t i 4 it



7ost (ommon %oor Listening 4aits

; %ot paying attention; &Pseudolistening'

; Listening #ut not !earing

; +e!earsing; nterrupting

; earing "!at is e)peted

; /eeling defensive

D l i % iti Li t i 4 it



Developing %ositive Listening 4aits

; Paying attention; Listening for t!e "!ole message

; earing #efore evaluating

; Parap!rasing "!at "as !eard

O3 )ctivities for *eams, Pfeiffer Company

@ i t t t &



@ey points to ta&e a5ay

$!ink a#out your ommuniation#e!avioral style $!ink a#out !o" you apply t!at style in dealing

"it! ot!ers, partiularly t!ose "it! ot!er styles +emem#er t!at ommuniation is more t!an

"ords *ssume real responsi#ility for your ommuniation

If yo! 5ant to get different res!lts $"/ haveto do things differently'

A ti Li t i



Active Listening

; Minimi<e distrations; +edue p!ysial #arriers

; *void or limit interruptions

; Detet t!e entral idea

; Control your emotions

; Evaluate t!e message

; Be a"are of your p!ysial position and nonver#al#e!avior

; *llo" silene

; *sk pro#ing and oasional 0uestions; *kno"ledge and respond using parap!rasing,

pereption !eking and summari<ing

1i i ( t ti 0 d &



1iving (onstr!ctive 0eedac&

' <.hen yo! ' ' '? Start "it! a &W!en you . . .' statement t!at desri#est!e #e!avior "it!out @udgment, e)aggeration,la#eling, attri#ution, or motives. Just state t!e fatsas speifially as possi#le.

F' <I feel ' ' '? $ell !o" t!eir #e!avior affets you. f you need moret!an a "ord or t"o to desri#e t!e feeling, it>spro#a#ly @ust some variation of @oy, sorro", anger,onern or fear.

G' <Beca!se I ' ' '? %o" say "!y you are affeted t!at "ay. Desri#e t!eonnetion #et"een t!e fats you o#served and t!efeelings t!ey provoke in you.



Example: 1iving (onstr!ctive 0eedac&



9. <.hen yo!#? &W!en you are late for team meetings,

O. <I feel#? get angry...

. <Beca!se I#? ... #eause t!ink it is "asting t!e time of allt!e ot!er team mem#ers and "e are nevera#le to get t!roug! all of t!e agenda items.'

Q. %a!se for disc!ssion;

3. <I 5o!ld li&e#? & "ould like you to onsider finding some "ayof planning your s!edule t!at lets you get tot!ese team meetings on time.'

:. <Beca!se#? &Beause t!at "ay "e an #e more produtiveat t!e team meetings and "e an all keep toour tig!t s!edules.'

Seminar 08P - Balanced Leadership: The Role of Behavior Styles (separate registration is required)...

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