Sample Copy. Not For Distribution. · in a hard tone. “I know that you love me… love me more...

Sample Copy. Not For Distribution.

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Incomplete


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Publishing-in-support-of,

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ISBN: 978-1-61813-455-4

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Printed in India


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Incomplete From The Pen of an Immature

Ram

EDUCREATION PUBLISHING (Since 2011)

www.educreation.in


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About The Author

The author was born in Jodhpur, Rajasthan. He is still

pursuing his graduation in pharmacy. At the age of 17,

he had completed this book. He does theatre. He is also

into writing poems and short stories. He

believes „leave everything and devote your life to art‟.

P


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About The Book

“Life is made of twists and turns, and I have experienced

it all. Love – the essence of life … I have experienced

that too. I had loved an unknown person. Which

definition of love can stand a firm hold than this?”

By twenty-eight, Shiv has had a nauseous ride on

the emotional roller coaster. Struggling with his

responsibilities, he managed to tap his feet romantically

with his dream. Yet… the life of Shivraj Rathore

remained „incomplete‟.

But what happened when his diary reached the girl

he loved, the girl who was unknown? Did he complete

his story?

P


viii


ix

Acknowledgement Everything in this world is a created by plural efforts, so

is this book. I thank you, my reader and friend, for

reading this book. This is my first book. I am not a

writer, this is mere an effort, and I hope you like it.

I would like to thank each and every person in my

life as they have inspired me in some or the other way.

Every person is special, but some are more special in a

particular way, so I‟d like to thank:

Parul, my first reader and a dear friend, for

encouraging me to write more.

My sisters for showing their immense support.

Saran, for editing this book.

At last, I want to specially thank my parents for their

love and support and for giving me life, I AM

NOTHING WITHOUT YOU…

P


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xi

Prologue

There was a rapid banging on the door. It was 5:00 in the

morning. And I was in my most beautiful dreams. The

banging seemed like blasting grenades before I realized

that it was mommy who was at the door and she was

mad about something, something really serious.

“Why would she be banging my door at this time?

What might have happened?” Thoughts like this, hit my

mind immediately.

“What, mom?” I shouted.

“Open the door!” mom screamed back, with a pinch

of anger and alarm in her voice. It was her routine to

wake up at 4:30 a.m., do her yoga and jog for an hour

and then wake everyone up at 7:00 a.m. But that day

something was unusual.

I gathered myself; Okayed my clothes and ran

towards the door, half dizzy.

“What happened, mommy?” I asked in an irritated

and alarmed voice.

“Who the hell is this Shiv?”

I was numb for some time. I tried to recall his name

and tried to figure out why her mom was asking about

him and that too that hour of the day.

“Shiv? Shivraj Rathore? Why... What? I mean why

are you asking this? What happened?” The mention of

his name made my eyes open completely.

“There is a letter for you. Some Shiv had sent. It

says he is dying for you and other nonsense! The letter

was there for three days and no one bothered to check

the post box! Who is this Shiv, Sunaina? Speak up!” the

mommy-mode was switched on.


xii

“I...I don't know. I mean I know him. He is a friend,

or I should say he was. We are not in contact for years

now and what is this rubbish that you are saying that he

is dying?” it was frustrating me.

She handed me a letter, a pink one.

Living some last few days of my life, I again

confess to you my love. Lying on the death bed, I again

confess my love to you. Taking some last breaths, I

again confess my love for you.

But this time I don't have words. I am filled up to

the top. I wish I could have told you before, how much I

love you. All these years of my life… I credit them to

you. You were not with me, yet, you were there. You

made me survive up to this day. I have to go. But I have

a wish to meet you once before I go. I‟ve never seen

you, but still love you more than anything.

I love you Sunaina.

Shiv.

I stood still for some seconds after reading that. I

didn't know how to react to that.

The other second I found myself getting in my

clothes and rushing towards the car.

I called the post office to gather the information

about the sender of the letter. He was in Lucknow. It was

about 80km from Kanpur, where I lived.

I started the car and rushed.

The weather, a day before was pleasant and calm.

But that time it was inclement, winds and storms like

condition. It seemed like someone was cursing the

world. It frightened me, still I didn't stop because it was

about Shiv.

I reached RATHORE VILLA in one and a half hour

and reached around 7:00 a.m.

The villa was hushed. I thought that it have been

because of the morning time.


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I inquired the security guard about 'Mr.Rathore'

“Mr.Rathore left for Haridwar an hour ago along

with the family.”

“Is Shiv here? Or has he too gone with them?”

The guard stared at me in pain for some seconds

and then finally spoke with a lump, “Shiv Saheb is no

more, Madam. He passed away yesterday, in the

morning. The family has gone to lay his ashes in the

holy Ganga.”

I didn't believe his words for some time. I was

shocked. I could barely stand there. Tears started rolling

from my eyes. His words felt like icy water drops on my

heart.

“By the way, madam, who are you?”

“Sunaina.” I said after collecting her consciousness.

“Sunaina?” He replied in a shocking tone.

“Really?”

“Yes..?”

“I just can't believe this. Please come inside. I have

something for you.”

We went inside the giant villa. He led me to the

guest room, got some water and a diary. The diary was a

vintage one, one which people used to preserve their

memories.

“Rahul Saheb has been searching for you since

many days.”

“Who is Rahul?”

“Oh, sorry. Rahul Saheb is Mr.Rathore's assistant

and Shiv Saheb's best friend.”

A tinch of sadness came to his face when he

mentioned „Shiv‟.

On the diary it was written “The Incomplete Life of

Shiv Rathore”.

I opened the diary and got lost......


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Incomplete - From The Pen of an Immature

1

W “I am done now, Priya! We can‟t stay together

anymore”, I flooded on her. A man can handle

everything to extremities, but sometimes, he gives up.

So did I.

“Are you sure about this Shiv?” she said in a neutral

tone. “This is for the third time that we are discussing

about parting away from each other. Even you know

that, neither you nor can I live if we separate…” her

voice now turned sweet. But this time I was firm not to

melt. I wouldn‟t allow my feelings to suppress my life.

“I know that we won‟t be able to bear this

separation, and that we might need each other as a

symbiotic support a lot of times in future, but, the

nature‟s law says that, everything in this world has a

fixed period of time, and we dare not try to play with

nature. I tried my best to give you every moment of my

life whenever it was possible, but your demands have

been like money, the thirst of which never ends.” I said

in a hard tone. “I know that you love me… love me

more than anything in this world, but now we should not

carry this on.”

Leaving this conversation I drowned myself in some old

and best memories of my life.

I still remember the day when I saw her for the first

time- entering the mall, while her fingers played with her

hair and she was flooding because she kept me waiting.

Her well maintained figure got boosted in her fair

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Ram

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complexion, and her brown eyes twinkled brightly on

her dainty face. She wore a red top which matched her

black jeans. The ring which she wore was cordial, and

had a diamond fitted in its centre which shined in

sunlight. As she approached towards me, she took off

her Fastrack glares and exclaimed, “let‟s go and get

seated… it‟s quite hot here!”

I ordered two soft drinks and we went to the first

lonely floor of the café. The cafe had a modern

ambience, yet, it was not crowded. It had many paintings

which were hung on the walls, amongst which; there was

a portrait of a lady which drew my eyes to it. The lady

was a perfect love-material and so was the lady who

accompanied me.

“How are you?” Priya finally asked me a couple of

seconds after we made ourselves comfortable. “I know it

is stupid to ask, but it was the best thing I could think of,

to start a conversation with a not-so-strange-hot-guy!”

She gave me a naughty look and we both laughed.

“hehe.... hot guy, huh? Flirting at the first meet?” I

teased her and she smiled. “Anyway, I am gooooood..!”

I said following a yawn giving that I went to meet her

soon after my not-so-interesting mathematics tuitions.

“Oh! Goooood to know.” She said, imitating me.

*Made me smile, made her smile.*

“You‟re looking very seducing!” I thought of not

using that word as it would have left a bad impression

about me on her, but she didn‟t really mind. “I should

say… beautiful! Pardon me!”

“What sort of manners do you have?” It seemed she

didn‟t like my comment. “Praising someone and then

changing your statement! And after that, saying sorry!

You‟re such a dog!” She laughed after making a serious

expression. I was confused as to how to react to this; so,

I just smiled.



3

We sat there for about an hour after that.

“Oh, it‟s 3:25 p.m.! Time ka pata he nahi chala,

with you!” (I didn‟t even realize how time passed so

soon with you!)

“I guess, it has been a great time together!” I gave

her an ecstatic look, trying to show that, I really enjoyed

her company as a… FRIEND.

“Oh is it?” she said, with a slight smile, pretending

to be naughty, I suppose.

The moment was surely champion for her. I could

see her love at first sight, but I didn‟t initiate any step in

that direction.

Months later she made me develop feelings for her;

I myself started liking her too.

We used to be just like a couple, a well grown and

mature couple. But all these things were now facing a

bitter end.

It was not possible for either of us to let things end

so easily. She tried to contact me many times, but I had

to be strong to end everything for both of us.

I kept on ignoring her. I don‟t know why everything

suddenly changed. My love for her turning into

ignorance was the saddest thing I could ever imagine,

even in the worst of my dreams.

But there was one thing that I was sure about. It was

Sunaina, the new girl in my life...

“Hey”, I texted her on Friends-book without any

hope to get a response.

“Hello”, I saw my cell-phone blinking, and it was

her. It was the first time that I was talking to a girl whom

I didn‟t know at all. I didn‟t know the reason why I even

texted her and why only this girl. This was probably,

what they say, predestined.

Although I presumed that she wouldn‟t be

interested in talking to a stranger, I texted her again.


Ram

4

“I think we were in the same school…” I texted her

hesitantly, because I had lied.

“No. I don‟t think so.”

“Oh! Then maybe I‟m mistaken. I‟m sorry.”

“No, no! It‟s completely ok.”

We chatted for about an hour, even though we

didn‟t know anything about each other. She said that she

had some work to do and that, would text me back once

she was done with it. I thought that she was making an

excuse to leave the conversation.

“I am done.” My cell was blinking again. I was

reluctant to check, as deep in my mind I didn‟t expect

that she would text me back, but, she did… it was her.

With this text, I lost my heart to her.

I don‟t know how can a person fall in love with a

stranger only upon getting a message on a social

networking site, from that person.

This awful occasion brought me into a dilemma. I

had a girlfriend whom I loved more than my life and

now, here was another girl, whom I had never met, had

never seen and about whose existence I got to know only

an hour before- were they both standing up for the same

place in my heart? Why? What was going on… I was

muddled.

Innervations of love can make you do anything which

you can't even think of. At that moment you really want

to recall the saying- “can love happen twice?”

But this time it was me who had to initiate. The

feeling of going crazy for someone was what I was

feeling then.

“Can I get your contact number?” bashfully, I asked

her.

“Yeah! But can I trust you? I mean, it‟s been only

one day that we got to know each other…”

“Ok. Give it to me when you feel that you can me.”



5

After five minutes she me texted back.

“Give me your number.”

I was surprised. “How can anyone develop trust for

someone in just five minutes?” I said to myself. It was

surely „love‟.

I gave her my number and we chatted till late that

night. She called me around 1 a.m. just to wish me good

night. I thought she could even have texted me. But

shooed that thought off. All I knew was that, I was

madly in love now.

„Assumptions‟ are something which can force a

person to do anything. I was assumption struck and

started believing that she loved me too. I tried everything

to convince her to be mine and convinced myself that I

loved her too.

My bonding with Priya was now not a manacle, but

she still loved me but I loved someone else and maybe,

that was the reason that I started finding her irritating.

After spending many days holding my feelings for

Sunaina , I finally endured and texted her- “I LOVE

YOU”. And yes, now everything was at stake.

P


Ram

6

W “Hey” it was Priya. She called me. It was some

months after which I heard her voice after our breakup.

It was the time I was passing my boring college days.

“Oh! Hello” I said in amazement.

I wasn‟t expecting any sort of text or call from her.

“So… how are you?” She me asked in a normal

tone. “How is everything going on?”

“I am ok… actually, I am free” I said in a teasing

tone, laughing. “No, actually I am busy with college

elections these days. You know it‟s exhausting.”

I was campaigning for my friend who was going to

stand up for elections and was fighting for the post of

General Secretary of our college.

“Yeah, I can make that out… you do sound tired.”

She sounded happy, as this time too she was able to

make out about my situation, just from my voice. She

was always good at it, I thought.

“How‟s everything in Kota? Settled properly?” I

asked her. She left for Kota few days back, for her

coaching to crack pre-medical entrance exams. She

dropped a year after the completion of her schooling, as

she was not able to clear pre-medical exams in her first

attempt, and also because, she wanted to get an

admission in a better medical college, the following

year.

2



7

But she was not interested in doing MBBS; she was

afraid of blood. I suggested her to drop this plan of

medical exams, but she said that becoming a doctor was

her father‟s dream. He couldn‟t persuade that; so, he

wanted his daughter to fulfill his dream. So Priya was

very concerned about it.

“Yup, it‟s all good out here. People too are good

here. Mostly the crowd is young as it is an education

hub. Everyone is seen busy with their studies. Students

don‟t leave their rooms much, but they often have some

leisure time either in the lawns or on the terrace, at their

hostels”

“It‟s raining here!” Jodhpur, where we used to live,

simply turns much beautiful when it rains. People just

stare at the rain standing out on their porches, as if it‟s

not rain but live presentation of Amitabh Bachchan in

Sholay! People here are just crazy about rains.

You know it‟s raining in Rajasthan when you hear

children laughing out loud and playing in their terrace

with water. The smell of the wet soil is what the people

here crave for. The soil is known to be magical, it indeed

is.

“Here as well! In fact it‟s been more than three days

since I‟ve seen sun. And it‟s too humid here.” She

sounded irritated; but, it didn‟t bother me much. I was

„me‟ and she was „her‟- as simple as that- two different

personalities; two different persons; and two different

souls, I started accepting it.

“So how‟s everything else going on- studies? I hope

after going there you have started with serious studies?”

I asked sincerely.

“Yeah… Sort of. Actually, not. Padhne ka mann he

nahi hota hai. (I don‟t feel like studying)”. She said.

“Why is that so?”


Ram

8

“Because you aren‟t here.” She said, in a soft and

low tone. I didn‟t know whether she really meant that or

not, or if it was as if she didn‟t want me to know the

feelings she was trying to hide.

“What? Can you please repeat? You weren‟t

audible.”

“No, nothing. I am studying well.”

I knew that she said exactly what I heard. She

changed her statement but I was least interested to hear

that again from her.

“Nice.” I said.

I could make out that, something from within her

was trying to pop out, but, she controlled it.

I asked her if she wanted to say anything. She told

me about her roommate, that she was a nice girl. She

used to give her cell to her so that she could use Friends-

book, as her father didn‟t allow her to carry internet

along. She also told how she used to leave her roommate

and her boyfriend alone for some time to give them their

space.

But still there was something deficient. She was

having something to ask or maybe something to say.

Finally after a couple of days she called me back.

“Hey? How are you? Busy? Can we talk?”

“Yes. We can. I always have time for you.” I said in

a gentle tone.

“After parting away from me you seem to be free…

you have time for everything… Are you satisfied now?”

She sounded low. “Earlier, you never used be online for

longer hours, but now you are always online, chatting

with everyone. How could you do this? What did I do?

Was I so irritating, Shiv?‟‟

She was keeping an eye on me, I realized. How did

she know that I stay online much? Actually it was

Sunaina, who gave me a reason to be online all the time.



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“You were my problem. No matter how much I

loved you, you used to make me feel irritated. Now I am

not bound. I am free like a bird in the sky which is

oblivious of all the boundaries and limitations… she just

flies… and flies… and flies some more.” I wanted to say

all this right on her face, but I kept quiet.

“Please, tell me the reason behind it.” she was

bursting out with irritation.

“What reason?”

“You know that very well as to which reason am I

talking about.”

“No, I don‟t.”

“Reason for everything. After we left each other, I

thought you would miss me, call me or do something at

least, to get in touch with me, but you didn‟t. After a

yearlong relationship your feelings can‟t just end just in

ten days.” She said. “Were you just passing your time

with me?”

These words hit my mind like a large iron rod, but it

was obvious. I lost my control because she gave me a

reason to leave her. Had she behaved well, then we

wouldn‟t have parted. I thought of bursting on her.

“It was a mutual decision, not just mine or yours.

And you too know that things between us were not

working out well… then what else do you want me to

say? It was a simple breakup. It‟s not like I don‟t love

you or anything but now I can‟t stay anymore.” My tone

rose which terminated to rising of her voice.

I was mad now. How could this girl, for whose sake

I left her, talk to me this way? I was egoistic, she knew

that, but she didn‟t know the truth.

The reasons for which I left her were two. First, my

care for her, so that she could study seriously as she

spent the whole day conversing with me. Second, the

secret entry of Sunaina in my life. Although mono-sided,


Ram

10

there was something between me and Sunaina which

was making me lose my interest in Priya.

One sided love is a victory in itself even if it is

lost…

I hung up as I was in no mood to argue with her on

silly topics.

Later, I thought of apologizing to her, but, I learnt

that she blocked my number.This made me to change my

mind too.

P



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