STATE STANDARDS

2.1 Explain the communication process.

2.2 Demonstrate appropriate uses of verbal and nonverbal communication.

2.3 Explain the levels of communication.

2.4 Demonstrate communication skills that contribute to positive relationships in the family, workplace and community.

DEVELOPING EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION SKILLS

JOURNAL

Think about the following places. Do you use formal or informal communication in these places? List each one and write “formal” or “informal” by each.

Church Home School Gym Court

THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

Communication is an exchange of information between two or more people.

Need at least 2 people A) sender-transmits or sends the message B) receiver-hears and interprets the message

*Sender needs skills in sending clear and accurate messages.*Receiver needs skills in listening to the message and interpreting it correctly. -should have a shared meaning about the message-

THE COMMUNICATION PROCESS

TYPES OF COMMUNICATION

Nonverbal communication is a way of sending and receiving messages without using words. (body movements, such as facial expressions, eye contact, and gestures)

Verbal communication is the use of words to send and receive messages. (speaking and writing)

What are some examples of nonverbal communication?

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS

Nonverbal communication helps you understand other’s emotions. Ex. Frown, or Smile (sad-happy)

Body language involves sending messages through body movements.

It can communicate different messages to people of different cultures or backgrounds. -May be viewed as positive by some people and negative by others.

Nonverbal messages can reinforce or contradict what you say. Ex. Warm hug can reinforce the message “I love you.” Crossing your arms and turning away can contradict the same message.

CON’T

Facial Expressions can communicate a wide range of emotions to others.

Raised eyebrows can lead to think that you are questioning the message.

A dull, bored expression tells others you are not interested.

Looking directly at someone with a pleasant expression shows your interest in communicating.

Direct eye contact helps convey a message that you can and are interested in what a person has to say.

CON’T

Gestures help communicate their message more clearly.

Ex. Waving arms and shaking fist while talking.

Body motions are the way you sit, stand, or walk while communicating that sends messages to others.

Sitting forward in a chair shows that you are alert and listening; slouching back shows disinterest.

Crossing your legs conveys a relaxed feeling.

NONVERBAL GESTURES

Gestures: Tap fingers Lifted eyebrow Rub nose or pull on ear Sweating palms, white knuckles Folded arms Swinging or crossing legs Wringing hands, kicking ground Steeple hands Feet on desk

NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION Group Game

VERBAL COMMUNICATION SKILLS

The words you use and the way you use them to express yourself are influenced by your environment. -informal or formal

Listening to others adds to your vocabulary. Regions where you live influence the way you

speak. (southern talk) The way you say things, can have certain

meaning. Ex. Tone (demonstration)

EXPRESSING YOURSELF

Using I-statements to express your thoughts, feelings, and ideas can help you speak for yourself-from your point of view.

I-statements help you through difficult situations. Descriptive-”I See” Thought-”I Think” Feeling-”I Feel” Intention-”I Want” Action-”I Will Do”

I-MESSAGES “I” messages. Focus on behaviors rather than the person. Focus on facts, not judgments (“You don’t

really care how I feel about the dishes” or “What kind of person would leave dirty dishes all over”).

Don’t exaggerate. “I always pick up after you”.

Don’t tell what to do, simply offer alternative. Nobody likes to be told what to do.

Respond the best way for you partner. Anger may shut them down.

Don’t overload. Appropriate time and place.

EXPRESSING YOURSELF

Avoid You-Statements. “You are so dumb!” “You should apologize to

me.” “You should really tell her how YOU feel.”

You-Statements attack the person, not the problem.

YOU MESSAGES are totally ineffective because they contain language that sounds abrasive, judgmental, condescending, or injurious to the self-esteem of the person confronted.

YOU MESSAGES ARE NEVER WELL RECEIVED FOR SEVERAL REASONS: They make people feel guilty They can be interpreted as blame, put

downs, criticism and rejections. They communicate a lack of respect for

others. They often cause reactive or retaliatory

behavior. They damage the recipients self-esteem. They cause resistance rather the openness to

change. They can make a person fell hurt, the

resentful. They are often perceived as punitive.

I-MESSAGE ROLE PLAY ACTIVITY

PASSIVE LISTENING

When people just take in messages, they are using passive listening.

Just hearing words without always listening for meanings.

No response The person doesn’t smile, nod, or comment.

ACTIVE LISTENING

You can be more certain that you are interpreting a message clearly when you use active listening.

Feedback is important. It shows that you are being an active listener and shows that you care about communication skills.

Checking out means using questions to clarify a message.

“Did you say that his car wrecked?” “Where did you say this happened?”

Reflecting is repeating the message in your own words to ensure the sender that you understand the message.

LEVELS OF COMMUNICATION

MISPERCEPTION

ROADBLOCKS & MISCOMMUNICATION Placates: Agreeable, appeases others, a

pleaser. Blamers: Superior. Doesn’t listen and tries

to escape responsibilities. Computers: Very correct and reasonable.

Logical, ignores emotions. Distracters: Frenetic and seldom says

anything relevant, changes the subject.

ROADBLOCKS & MISCOMMUNICATION

Interrupting – breaking into the conversation, not giving the other a chance to finish.

Endless fighting – bring up things from the past & never resolving things.

Character assassination – name calling, belittling, insulting remarks.

Calling in reinforcements – involve outsiders to support you.

Withdrawal – leave, indifference, silent treatment.

Need to be right – refusal to admit their part in the problem.

WHY PEOPLE DON’T COMMUNICATE Ashamed or guilty of feelings Fearful feelings will create conflict Suppress unacceptable feelings Deny our feelings to self

All of these problems can contribute to negative relationships in the family, workplace and community.

FIRST STEP TO GOOD LISTENING IS TO “SHUT UP” Take 5 minutes to read the poem entitled

“Listen.”

ATTITUDE CHANGES ESSENTIAL FOR ACTIVE LISTENING You must want to hear what the other person

has to say. You must genuinely be able to accept the

other person’s feelings, no matter how different they are from your own.

You must view people separate from yourself, with alternative ways of perceiving the world.

You must trust the other person’s capacity to handle and find solutions to his/her own problems.

EVALUATION OF THE LISTENER Eye to eye contact & looks interested Passive encouraging statements Clarifies for understanding Relevant questions Reflects back what they said No interruptions Validates – never discredits their feelings Appropriate feedback Problem solving if necessary (only if asked

for)