Rocking Your Inner Giraffe: Cultivating Loving Kindness for Yourself & Others through Nonviolent...
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Transcript of Rocking Your Inner Giraffe: Cultivating Loving Kindness for Yourself & Others through Nonviolent...
Rocking Your Inner Giraffe
Cultivating Loving-Kindness for Yourself amp Others
through Nonviolent Communication
Seth D Webb MAEd
Dean of Students
Free Horizon Montessori
Staff Development Workshop
October 10 2014
ldquoThis is education understood as a help to life an
education from birth which feeds a peaceful revolution
and unites all in a common aim attracting them as to a
single centerhellip This is the bright new hope for mankindrdquo
- Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind
Artists
Montessori
Teachers
As artistshellip
We express our love for life and living through the content
that we teach - in both the method and materials we
share
In an ever increasing search to meet the needs of each
child we transform the classroom environment and the
content we study so that everyone might have a personal
and meaningful relationship with learning
Artists
Alchemists
Montessori
Teachers
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
ldquoThis is education understood as a help to life an
education from birth which feeds a peaceful revolution
and unites all in a common aim attracting them as to a
single centerhellip This is the bright new hope for mankindrdquo
- Maria Montessori in The Absorbent Mind
Artists
Montessori
Teachers
As artistshellip
We express our love for life and living through the content
that we teach - in both the method and materials we
share
In an ever increasing search to meet the needs of each
child we transform the classroom environment and the
content we study so that everyone might have a personal
and meaningful relationship with learning
Artists
Alchemists
Montessori
Teachers
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Artists
Montessori
Teachers
As artistshellip
We express our love for life and living through the content
that we teach - in both the method and materials we
share
In an ever increasing search to meet the needs of each
child we transform the classroom environment and the
content we study so that everyone might have a personal
and meaningful relationship with learning
Artists
Alchemists
Montessori
Teachers
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
As artistshellip
We express our love for life and living through the content
that we teach - in both the method and materials we
share
In an ever increasing search to meet the needs of each
child we transform the classroom environment and the
content we study so that everyone might have a personal
and meaningful relationship with learning
Artists
Alchemists
Montessori
Teachers
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Artists
Alchemists
Montessori
Teachers
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
As alchemistshellip
We constantly balance the needs of one child with the
needs of another we cater to each individual in service
of all
Throughout the day opportunities are made available
and prescriptions are given In each action resides the
scaffolding for more and more complex educational
options
Our compass is the warmth and growing light of
excitement which we all feel when working with passion
and delight
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
As advocateshellip
We greet the children with our hearts before we do so
with our minds
To move too quickly to rush head-long into the delivery
of content is to create a space where the teacher is
merely performing - dispensing information regardless of
its relevance to or resonance with the children We work
to know both the head and heart of each child
This connection allows for the deep and purposeful
exploration of our universe powered by a trust and faith
in each other
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Tenderness
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Release
Tenderness
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
LOVING-KINDNESS
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
What does it mean to have compassion
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion means that you actually take the time -
to imagine or remember
- what could it be likewhat it is like when you suffer
so that you may better connect with another
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
These connections with other people is what life is all about
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
What sometimes gets in the way
of these compassionate connections
are the judgments that we make about what we see
Shes so bossy
Hes such yes-man
Shes a real control freak
Hes spinelessldquo
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
When we say those kinds of things -
when we make judgments
based on our opinions
rather than observations
- we lose an opportunity to connect
In fact we do the opposite we push each other farther apart
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Marshall Rosenberg PhD
Center for
Nonviolent
Communication
Nonviolent Communication (NVC)
is based on the principles of
nonviolence-- the natural state of
compassion when no violence is
present in the heart
NVC begins by assuming that we
are all compassionate by nature
and that violent strategiesmdash
whether verbal or physicalmdashare
learned behaviors taught and
supported by the prevailing
culture
NVC also assumes that we all
share the same basic human
needs and that each of our
actions are a strategy to meet
one or more of these needs
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
ldquoI would like us to create peace at three levels and have each of
us to know how to do it
First within ourselves That is to know how we can be peaceful with
ourselves when were less than perfect for example How we can
learn from our limitations without blaming and punishing our self If
we cant do that Im not too optimistic how were going to relate
peacefully out in the world
Second between people Nonviolent Communication training
shows people how to create peace within themselves and at the
same time how to create connections with other people that
allows compassionate giving to take place naturally
And third in our social systems To look out at the structures that
weve created the governmental structures and other structures
and to look at whether they support peaceful connections
between us and if not to transform those structuresrdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
ldquoPublic education for some time has been heavily focused
on what curricula we believe will be helpful to students
Life-Enriching Education is based on the premise that the
relationship between teachers and students the
relationships of students with one another and the
relationships of students to what they are learning are
equally important in preparing students for the futurerdquo
- M Rosenberg PhD
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
JACKAL LANGUAGE = naming and blaming
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
GIRAFFE LANGUAGE = thinking and feeling
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
If we dont judge and instead observe with compassion
we open up pathways for connection and communication
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
If we use giraffe language
to try and understand what is going on
look what happens
Shes so bossy = She has been directing that activity a lot
Hes such a yes-man = He appears to agree
Shes a real control freak = Does she have a way she wants this done
Hes spineless = He avoids confrontation
Listen to the difference in the energy of the revised sentenceshellip
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Try to listen to what you say and how you say it
Do you speak jackal or girafferdquo
Are you thinking and speaking with compassion
Are you looking for compassionate connections
or are you more interested in being right
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
What does it look like
to make observations without
judgment or evaluation
Hes a tattle tale vs He told the teacher that I took his pencil
Youre so clumsy vs You bumped into me
Shes a bully vs She pushed me out of line
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
How does it feel to you when somebody
calls you a name
judges or evaluates you
Do you want to continue the conversation
Do you want to fight back
Do you just shut down and move away
Throughout all of this has anything gotten truly better for anyone
Have things stayed the same Gotten worse
What will happen the next time
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
If nothing changes nothing changes
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Nonviolent communication
looks to continue conversations not end them
so that everyones feelings are recognized
and needs are acknowledged
It is the language of GIVING and RECEIVING
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
It is important that we learn to recognize our
feelings by their names so that we can find out
what need of ours is being met or not
Feelings are tools to measure whether
or not your needs are being met
Theyre like a thermometer that registers satisfaction
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Three Steps Towards Lasting Peace
1 RECOGNIZE and NAME the FEELINGS that youre having
2 DISCOVER the NEED(S) in you that are (or are not) being met
3 Practice MAKING REQUESTS of others so that your need can be met
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
When I see _______________
(observation)
I feel _______________ because feeling)
I have a need for _______________
(need)
Would you be willing to ______________
(request)
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
When I see you whisper and look my way (observation)
I feel uncomfortable because
(feeling)
I have a need for respect and friendship
(need)
Would you be willing to talk with me about what is on your mind rather than speaking about me to another
(request)
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Artists
Alchemists Advocates
Montessori
Teachers
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Compassion
Release
Tenderness Patience
Forgiveness Openness
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
LOVING-KINDNESS
Live Your Inner Giraffe
Live Your Inner Giraffe