10 Little Changes that Can Make aBig Impact on Your Marriage

Richard Horowitz

here are 10 little changes that can make a big impact on reigniting that smolderingspark and each one delivers a special message that won’t be forgotten.

There are challenges involved inmaintaining any relationship, but none

requires more attention than a marriage.

Greet Your MateIt’s trite to say it, but oneof the simplest ways tofan the flames of your

marriage is to say “goodbye” when you part and“hello” when you come

together again. In reality,how much time does it

actually take to stop whatyou’re doing, offer a quickpeck and greet your mate.

The message: I miss youwhen we’re apart.

Be PresentFor those of you who are constantly engaged with your smart phone, PUT IT DOWN. Being present is how youlet your mate know that who they are, what they think and how they feel matters to you. When your matehas something to tell you, listen with all of your attention, not just part of it. The message: I respect you.

Say Thank youProper manners, in public,

dictate the use of “please”and “thank you” as you dobusiness and interact withothers. Do you use those

same manners at home? Doyou thank your mate forthe meal they prepared,

putting the dishes away ortaking out the trash? Do it,

and you’ll see a bigdifference. The message: I’m

grateful for you.

Say I'm Sorry

Nothing is more damaging toa relationship than to never

admit it when you arewrong. You might not “owe”your mate an apology, but

offering one, wheneveryou’re wrong, will prove

that you’re partneredequally. Keeping the

balance of equality willhead off a lot of future

disagreements. The message:We’re in this together.

Offer PositiveComments

This one can be as easy or ashard as you want to make it.The best way to apply it, is tomake a commitment to lookfor one positive thing thatyour mate has done or has

said each day, and then drawtheir attention to it. The more

you practice this, the moreresults you’ll see. The

Message: You’re valuable.

Swallow CritiquesOn the other side of the coin,is holding back those snide

critiques that serve nopurpose, but to tear down

your mate and, consequently,your marriage as well. Ninety

nine percent of thoseannoying things never need

to be pointed out. Catch moreflies with honey and just

swallow those critiques. Youwon’t deliver that negative

message.

Smile TogetherYou and your mate had plentyof things to smile about whenyou first fell head over heelsfor each other. Those things

are probably still there.Relive those moments

together and do things tocreate new ones. Or, just takea risk, look across the room

at your mate, bare thoseteeth and smile. The message:

I’m happy with you.

Forgive and ForgetThe two go hand in hand.

If you have reallyforgiven someone, then

you will forget the wrongthat they’ve done to you.

Conversely, if youcontinue to dwell on andharbor that wrong, then

you haven’t truly forgiventhem. If you want to see a

big impact on yourmarriage, do both. Themessage: I love you.

When you first fell in love with your mate, you couldn’t wait to get your paws on them. So,put your paws together and enjoy that simple little touch as you walk down the streettogether, when you’re shopping together or wherever you happen to be. There’s nothing

warmer than the hand of your mate. The message: I’m with you.

Hold Hands

Speak Well of Your MateAll too often, we run ourmates down in front of

other people. Whether yourmate is present when you do

it is immaterial. Weeventually begin to believewhat we say about them toothers. Speak well of themin the presence of others.

The message: You’re amazing.

A Japanese proverb says, “One kind

word can warm three winter

months.” Imagine how making these

10 little changes will impact your

marriage, and using them will

warm a thousand winter months.