REVISION DS 014 Writing Weston. Today’s Agenda Sign-In Oops! What is Revising? Unity ...
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Transcript of REVISION DS 014 Writing Weston. Today’s Agenda Sign-In Oops! What is Revising? Unity ...
REVISION
DS 014 WritingWeston
Today’s Agenda
Sign-In Oops! What is Revising? Unity Coherence
Transition Organization
Language Specifics Conciseness
Reader Assessment of Paragraphs Proofreading Checklist Peer Assignment Coming Up…
Oops!—more bad opening lines "Somewhere in this cemetery, the vampyre
lies hidden," the grave-looking man with the stake said cryptically.
"" gasped the mime as I emptied the clip of .38 shells into his black-clad chest.
Alas, Abigail adored Andy, and all Andy's ardor and anticipation adhered achingly atop alternately aloof and alluring Alicia--although acrimonious Anton attracted Alicia's amour.
- From "Love Letters"--a romantic novel in twenty-six volumes
What is Revising?
Revising is the act of reevaluating, reconsidering and reworking a piece of writing.
In essence, it is “re-vision”—looking at the writing again (preferably with a fresh set of eyes).
Three stages— Reassessing—identifying what needs work. Redrafting—generating new material to fix
the problem areas. Editing— “streamlining” and proofreading
for errors.
Evaluating Unity
For a piece of writing to be unified, everything in it should be related back to the topic sentence or main idea.
Unity Exercise
Adapted from The Names: A Memoir, by N. Scott Momaday.
Later in the dusky streets I walked among the Navajo camps, past the doorways of the town, from which came the good smells of cooking, the festive sounds of music, laughter, and talk. The campfires rippled in the crisp wind that arose with evening and set a soft yellow glow on the ground, low on the adobe walls. A natural building material used for several thousand years, adobe is composed of sand and straw, which is shaped into bricks on wooden frames and dried in the sun. Mutton sizzled and smoked above the fires; fat dripped into the flames; there were great black pots of strong coffee and buckets full of fried bread; dogs crouched on the rim of the light, the many circles of light; and old men sat hunched in their blankets on the ground, in the cold shadows, smoking. . . . Long into the night the fires cast a glare over the town, and I could hear the singing, until it seemed that one by one the voices fell away, and one remained, and then there was none. On the very edge of sleep I heard coyotes in the hills.
Evaluating Coherence
If your writing has coherence, that means it is easily understood by the reader.
Coherence is built through— Having enough support and details. Sufficient transitions (see pg. 39 in Paragraphs
for words that could be used to build transitions).
Logical organization. Chronological/Linear Spatial Emphatic
Evaluating Language
Word choice can have a great impact on the quality of writing. “Fogged up window” analogy (p. 45) Wording needs to be specific and concise.
Specifics— Are precise and helps your reader “see” what you want them
to. Instead of “dog,” use “cocker spaniel” Instead of “car,” use “red convertible Mazda Miata”
Conciseness— Is brief and to the point.
Instead of “due to the fact that,” use “because” Instead of “come to the realization that”, use “realize”
More on pg. 46 of your text.
Reader Assessment Checklist Does the reader understand the point? Do I stick with one point all the way
through? Are my ideas and examples connected
and easy to follow? Are the words I’ve used specific and
concise? What changes should I make?
Proofreading Checklist
Have I eliminated all sentence fragments?
Have I eliminated all comma splices? Have I eliminated all run-on sentences? Is the spelling correct throughout? Is the verb tense correct throughout? Do all subjects agree with their verbs? Do all pronouns agree with their
antecedents?
Peer Assignment
Grab a buddy (or more than one). Swap descriptive drafts. Read through drafts. Using the Reader Assessment Checklist
and the Rubric I’ve handed out, give feedback on what you’ve read, suggesting ways to improve.
Coming Up…
Monday
Descriptive Paragraph Due
Process Analysis
Chapter 8 in Paragraphs
Have a great weekend!