Revising Business MessagesChoose appropriate typefaces. Consider sans serif for headings, signs, and...
Transcript of Revising Business MessagesChoose appropriate typefaces. Consider sans serif for headings, signs, and...
Chapter 6
Revising Business Messages
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 2
Topics in This Chapter
Revising Tips
Designing Documents for Readability
How to Proofread Documents
Proofreading Marks for Digital and Hard-Copy Documents
How to Evaluate a Business Message
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 3
Eliminate flabby expressions.
Revising Tips
Wordy Concise
at this point in time now
due to the fact that because
in very few cases seldom
despite the fact that although
feel free to please
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 4
Limit long lead-ins (unnecessary introductory words).
Revising Tips
Wordy Concise
This is to inform you that Monday
is a holiday.
Monday is a holiday.
I am writing this letter because
Professor John Donnellan suggested
that your organization was hiring.
Professor John Donnellan suggested
that your organization was hiring.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 5
Drop unnecessary opening fillers (there is/are and it is/was beginnings).
Revising Tips
Wordy Concise
There are over 50 visitors who
commented on her blog.
Over 50 visitors commented on her
blog.
There was an unused computer in
the back office.
An unused computer was in the
back office.
It is certainly an inspiring sequence
of events.
The sequence of events is certainly
inspiring.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 6
Replace redundancies (expressions that repeat meaning or include unnecessary words).
Revising Tips
Redundant Concise
exact same exact or same
past history past or history
serious danger danger
new innovation new or innovation
my personal opinion my opinion
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 7
Purge empty words.
In the case of General Motors, the car company was reorganized.
We are aware of the fact that many managers need assistance.
When it arrived, I deposited your check immediately. (Obviously, the check arrived.)
Revising Tips
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 8
Keep it simple by avoiding indirect and pompous language.
Revising Tips
Wordy and Unclear Clear
It would not be inadvisable for you
to affix your signature at this point
in time.
You should sign now.
Here are implements that are
necessary for the job to be
completed in a satisfactory manner.
Here are tools to do the job
satisfactorily.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 9
Dump trite “business” phrases (worn-out expressions).
Revising Tips
Trite Improved
pursuant to your request as you requested
please do not hesitate to please
thank you in advance thank you
enclosed please find enclosed
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 10
Drop clichés (expressions that have become exhausted by overuse), such as
easier said than done
first and foremost
think outside the box
shoot from the hip
Revising Tips
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 11
Drop slang (informal words with arbitrary and extravagantly changed meanings that quickly go out of fashion), such as
in the pipeline
down the totem pole
blowing the budget
getting burned
Revising Tips
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 12
Unbury verbs that are needlessly converted to wordy noun expressions.
Revising Tips
Buried Verbs Unburied Verbs
give consideration to consider
reach a conclusion that conclude
create a reduction in reduce
make a decision about decide
take action act
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 13
Control exuberance (use of intensifiers such as definitely, quite, completely, extremely, really, and totally) to sound businesslike.
Revising Tips
Excessive Exuberance Businesslike
We actually are very sure they
do not totally agree with our
decision.
We are sure they do not agree with
our decision.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 14
Enhance white space by
Adding headings
Including bulleted or numbered lists
Using short sentences
Writing short paragraph
Setting effective margins
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 15
Use 1 to 1 ½-inch margins.
Designing Documents for Readability
How to set margins
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 16
Designing Documents for Readability
Aligns text at left margin and creates a ragged-right margin
ResultSetting for Ragged-Right Margins
Ragged-right margins provide more white space and improve readability.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 17
Choose appropriate typefaces.
Consider sans serif for headings, signs, and material that does not require continuous reading (for example, Arial).
Consider serif for body font (for example, Times New Roman). Notice that serif typefaces have small features at the ends of strokes.
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 18
Use 10- to 12-point font for most body text.
For special effects consider:
CAPITALIZATION
SMALL CAPS
Boldface
Italic
Underline
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 19
Use vertical lists or enumerated items within sentences to improve comprehension.
Use a numbered list for items that represent a sequence or reflect a numbering system; use bullets otherwise.
Use enumerated items such as (a) and (b) within a sentence.
Make the lists and enumerated items parallel.
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 20
Use parallel construction by expressing similar ideas in balanced, matching constructions.
Designing Documents for Readability
Not Parallel Parallel
The task force recommends buying
a software license, creating
software usage policies, and the
benefits of the software should be
demonstrated.
The task force recommends buying
a software license, creating
software usage policies, and
demonstrating the benefits of the
software.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 21
Use numbered lists to show a sequence:
During the hiring process, follow these steps:
1. Examine the application.
2. Interview the applicant.
3. Check the applicant’s references.
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 22
Use bulleted lists to highlight without necessarily showing a sequence.
Consumers expect the following information at product Web sites:
Price
Quality
Performance
Availability
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 23
Add headings for quick comprehension:
The company needs to focus attention in three key areas:
Attracting applicants. We need to analyze where and how we advertise for applicants. Specifically, online job boards …
Interviewing applicants. We should consider adding simulated customer encounters to the process. Simulated …
Checking references. We should consider contacting all references, not just former employers. Currently, the …
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 24
Designing Documents for Readability
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 25
What to Watch for in Proofreading
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 26
For reading messages on screen
Use the down arrow to reveal one line at a time.
Read from a printed copy, to be safer.
In general
Look for typos, misspellings, and easily confused words.
Study the document for inconsistencies and ambiguous expressions.
Look for factual errors.
How to Proofread Routine Documents
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 27
Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.
Set it aside and take a breather.
Allow adequate time for careful proofing.
Expect errors and congratulate yourself when you find them.
Read the message at least twice – once for meaning and once for grammar and mechanics.
Reduce your reading speed and focus on individual words.
How to Proofread Complex Documents
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 28
Use Microsoft Word to Help You With Readability and With Proofreading
The higher the score, the easier it is to understand the document.
Source: Microsoft
The Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level rates text on a U.S. school grade level.
Comprehension decreases as sentence length increases.
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 29
Revised Digital Document Using Strikethrough and Color
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 30
Basic Proofreading Marks
Delete
Capitalize
Lowercase (don’t capitalize)
Transpose
Close up
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 31
Basic Proofreading Marks
Insert
Insert space
Insert punctuation
Insert period
Start paragraph
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 32
Marked Copy of Printed Document
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 33
Revised Copy of Printed Document
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 34
How successful will this communication be?
Does the message say what you want it to say?
Did you encourage feedback so that you will know its success?
Evaluating a Business Message
©2011 Cengage Learning. All Rights Reserved. May not be scanned, copied or duplicated, or posted to a publicly accessible website, in whole or in part.Ch. 6, Slide 35
END