Reviewing Self-Disclosure True/False: Self-Disclosure must involve

intentionality, choice, private information, and risk

Which is more personal/private? History or Story True/False: Self-Disclosure is an objective process How does reciprocity factor into self-disclosure? What are some reasons individuals choose to

self-disclose? What are some reasons individuals decide NOT to

self-disclose? What does the Social Penetration Model/Theory say

about personal information and self-disclosure?

Communicating Conflict

Chapter 9 Recap/Lecture

True or False? Conflict is avoidable Conflict can be productive

Interpersonal Conflict “The interaction of interdependent

people who perceive incompatible goals and interference from each other in achieving those goals” (p. 180)

Elements of Interpersonal Conflict Interaction

Created/sustained through communication Interdependence

Some relationship; need for each other Perceptions

….of incompatible goals Also consider selective perceptions (in

interactions) Conflict as Goal Oriented

Incompatible goals

Dark Side vs. Bright Side

Dark Side of Conflict

Bullying Violence and

Aggression

Bright Side of Conflict

Managing conflict part of being a competent communicator

Productive conflict management promotes physical and mental health

Expressing feelings; learning those of others

Relationship maintenance Increasing confidence Increasing depth

Improves decision making skills

Types of Conflict Image Conflicts

Disagreement about self definition/image Content (Substantive) Conflicts

Public vs. Private Revolves around an issue

Value Conflicts Addresses a question of right or wrong

Relational Conflicts Issues about a relationship

Serial Conflicts Focuses on time frame; not subject (unlike other 4 types) Recur over time; no resolution Serial Conflicts Meta-Conflicts

Overlapping?

Myths about Conflict All conflict is a result of

miscommunication Good communication resolves ALL

conflict Talking about conflict is always the best

strategy Additional:

All conflict is negative Conflict is avoidable

Role of Gender, Sex, and Culture Gender and Sex

Relational life vs. Public life Collaborative vs. Competitive

Culture How we behave in conflict What we have conflict about

Communication Patterns Symmetrical Escalation Symmetrical Withdrawal Pursuit-Withdrawal vs. Withdrawal-

Pursuit Symmetrical Negotiation Which of the patterns are positive?

Negative?

Explaining/Understanding Conflict

The Four-Part Model Interdependence of Four

Parts; happen simultaneously You and Me: Participants Context: Emotional

background Subject: Topic of the argument Ignoring any part; unhealthy

Placating (no “me”) Pouncing (no “you”) Computing (no “context”) Distracting (no “subject”)

The Explanatory Process Model Conflict occurs in

episodes Distal Context Proximal Context Conflict Interaction Proximal Outcomes Distal Outcomes

Background

Power and Conflict How do the two relate? Power = ‘ability to control behavior of others’ Use of Power

Direct application of power (e.g. spanking) Direct and virtual use of power (e.g. threatening to spank) Indirect application of power (e.g. “I’d like to see that room

clean asap”) Relational messages (e.g. “I’m your mother”)

Hidden Power (e.g. Turning down date; mom won’t approve)

Power is relational Most consider responses to power Sex differences? Empowerment

Conflict Management Staying calm (lightening up)

Stay in the present Acknowledge other’s comments Provide nonverbal and verbal feedback Reframing

Presume/express goodwill; don’t expect the worst Ask questions Listen

Consider active listening Practice cultural sensitivity

Application Exercise Create a skit about interpersonal conflict based on the type

of conflict you are assigned Your skit should walk us through the conflict and ways to

mediate the conflict—based on what was learned through the chapter Use an example of a communication pattern and/or the

use of power (as discussed in the chapter) After each skit, groups will have to walk us through how the

skit served as a real life example of interpersonal conflict Using the Four Part Model or the Explanatory Model

(whichever you are assigned) Cannot pull an example from the book; be creative!!!