REVEALED SECRETS

REVEALED

SECRETS

-2012-

POETRY

BY

ROSELYN VAZQUEZ

COVER DESIGN BY BARRY MOWLES

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Revealed Secrets

Biography

ROSELYN VAZQUEZ

Born and raised in Hartford, Connecticut, Roselyn is a 36 year old single mother who is currently working towards obtaining her Masters of Arts in Elementary Education. As the oldest of three children, Roselyn grew up loving the power of words. Through reading and writing she found an escape and way to cope with all of the real life issues

surrounding her.

Roselyn started writing her own short stories and poems since she was in the 5th grade. She developed a passion for literature and poetry that remains with her today.

Living in the projects and the rough neighbourhoods of the inner city, she was exposed to and dealt with my serious

issues, including bullying, insecurities, violence and death of loved ones. Through it all she found comfort in writing. Words became her best friend; with pen and a notebook always by her side, she would write down her deepest secrets, her fears, her dreams and just about anything.

Revealed Secrets exposes some of those fears, feelings,

dreams and real life experiences.

IN DEDICATION

First and foremost, I dedicate this book to a wonderful young lady

who changed my life from the moment I held her; my beautiful daughter Jaileene Leniz. I love you more than words could ever

express and I am very proud of you.

I also dedicate this book to my Parents, Madeline and Felix, my brother Flex and sister Christina, who have shown me the meaning

of unconditional love.

To my beautiful nieces, K’Tiannie, Amya, Mikayla and soon to arrive Zendaya – Titi loves you with all her heart.

To my cousin Vanessa who is more like a sister to me. She is my best friend and my confidant; the one that I can reveal my secrets

to. You are the best and I love you.

To my best friend Lisa for giving me the gift of true friendship.

To my amazing family; we have been through some very difficult times the past few years but through it all our love remains and

we are always there for one another whether it is to share laughter, tears, happiness or pain – God blessed me with the

greatest family of all. I love you.

Also: In Loving Memory of my Grandfather, Angel Arce Torres;

The memory of you lives within me every day.

A special thanks to: Barry Mowles for believing in the talent of poets like me; for his

dedication and the opportunity he gives so many people. I am forever grateful for the chance you have provided me. You open

doors for many and give people “like me” the confidence and encouragement that we need.

Thank You.

CONTENTS Poetry by

Roselyn Vazquez

1. Write

2. Who, What, When, Where, Why

3. To Be a Woman

4. Life’s Contradictions

5. I Cry For You (Dedicated to my grandfather, Angel Arce Torres)

6. The Battle Within

7. Lies told me the Truth

8. Why

9. One Day of Happiness

10. Insignificant

11. Dear Heart

12. Pretending

13. My Fault

14. Stranger in my Bed

15. Loneliness

16. Liar

17. Someone I Never Had

18. Just for a Moment

19. Love You No More

20. Imagine

21. Left Wondering

22. Shadows of Yesterday

23. My Only Friend

24. Cry

25. More than a Friend

26. Never looked at you That Way

27. Thoughts of You

28. Two Friends

29. Silent Desire

30. Still Unspoken

31. Words that Escape You

32. Barefoot in the Rain

33. I Found an Answer

34. Picture Perfect

35. Fear of Love

CONTENTS – CONTINUED POETRY BY

ROSELYN VAZQUEZ

36. Being Afraid

37. I Used to Know You

38. Cinquains (Imagination & Woman)

39. Really

40. Superwoman/Superman

41. Why Me

42. Self-Destruction

43. If the World had No Color

44. I am Me

Poetry by Jaileene Leniz Arriaga

(15 Years old)

45. Mother/Daughter

46. Being a Girl Living in a Man’s World

47. How Will I Go

- X -

WRITE

I sit in front of a blank monitor,

Staring at a blinking cursor,

I press the keys and

Words begin decorating the

Blank document staring back at me,

I don’t give myself time to think

Of the words that keep appearing,

I just write, write as if this is the

Only opportunity I will ever get

And no others will follow.

I just type, type as if the end of

The world is coming tomorrow.

I just write, write releasing

All of my sorrow.

I just type as if I am living

On time borrowed.

© Copyright, 2012 – Roselyn Vazquez

WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE, WHY

WHO told me I was different,

WHO told me that awful lie

That year after year has

Caused me so much cry,

Everyday is a struggle,

People passing judgment,

Bullying who they see as different,

Exposing them to constant torment,

WHAT gives them the

right to judge another?

WHAT makes you so different that

I can’t call you my brother?

WHEN I was young I was judged

Because of who my parents were,

My dad, a heroin addict, my mom

Dependant on state welfare,

WHEN I grow up things will be different,

I’d tell myself every night,

WHEN I grew up I quickly learned,

Injustice & prejudice is an ever

ending fight,

As a Latina woman, a single mom,

I am constantly being judged,

Society continues to attack me,

But I refuse to hold a grudge,

WHERE can I run to?

WHERE can I hide?

NOWHERE but home,

I have my dignity, I have

My pride,

WHY can’t we all live as one?

WHY let ignorance determine

the person we are to become?

It’s time to join our hands,

It is up to us to help others

Learn and understand,

Instead of fighting it

Why not embrace,

That we are the one,

The Human Race.

© Copyright, 2012 Roselyn Vazquez

TO BE A WOMEN

I CAN’T be successful

Because I am a woman,

I CAN’T be a doctor or fire-fighter,

Because I am NOT a man,

I CAN’T speak up and give my opinion

On social issues or politics,

That’s conversation for a man,

Let’s be realistic,

I CAN’T classify myself as

Independent,

Or have career plans for myself,

To know nothing, have no goals.

That’s who I must pretend,

TO BE,

A woman is to take chances,

And stand up for what you believe,

We are stronger than most realize,

Stronger than how we are perceived,

Tell me I CAN’T

And I’ll laugh in your face,

Tell me I WON’T and the

Challenge I will embrace,

Tell me I WILL FAIL and

I’ll show you determination,

Inside everyone woman

There is total dedication,

The “W” “O” comes before

The word “MAN”

A clear indication that in life

We always move ahead,


LIFE’S CONTRADICTIONS

Life’s Contradictions

Yes, no

Maybe,

Life’s contradictions

Constantly haunt us,

Love, Hate,

Laughter,

Tears,

How are we supposed to feel?

How are we supposed to face our

Fears?

Possible, Impossible,

Happiness , Hurt,

When does it all become clear?

Forgetting or Forgiving,

Moving forward,

Finding reasons for living,

Loyalty, Betrayal,

Knowing when to let go,

How do we know the time

Is right?

Or holding on to anger,

Life’s contradictions, a

Never ending fight,

What to do?

How to feel?

How to know

What’s fake or real?

When to take chances,

Or no risks at all,

When to reach for the

Sky,

Without fearing a

Big fall?

Life’s contradictions,

So confusing at times,

Considering others feelings

Before I consider mine,

To stay quiet or speak up,

To let an opportunity pass you by,

How do I know when the time is right?

How do I know to move from

Darkness to the light?


There are many of them,

Happy/Sad; High/low;

Love/Hate; Hello/Goodbye;


When does it end?

Laughter/tears; bravery/fear;

Smile or frown,

To be real or pretend,


May cause friction, restriction,

Infliction, prediction,

But life must be lived,

With the strongest conviction.

© Copyright, 2012, Roselyn Vazquez

I CRY FOR YOU

I cry for you,

Almost every night,

The sadness, the memories,

What an emotional fight!

I still find it so difficult to believe

That you are gone,

The hurt, the pain, the void is

Still much too strong.

I still don’t understand why,

The only thing to do is

Just lay here in cry, just cry.

You were here yesterday,

Where I can kiss you, hug you,

Touch you &

Feel you do the same.

No matter what I do,

My tears won’t ease the pain.

The bottom of my left wrist

Now bears your name,

As does the stone that adorns

Your beautiful grave.

How does one find comfort,

When comfort were your arms?

How can one reckless person

Cause us all so much harm?

How can I feel safe,

When safety was your embrace,

Your arms holding me tight,

Assuring me that everything will be okay.

Oh, how I long to have you,

Standing right next to us,

Balling your fist & doing your dance,

Just like we used to love to see you do.

Everything that surrounds me

Reminds me of my granddad,

Every thought; every memory,

Just makes me so sad.

I stood by you,

And watched you for your life fight,

I held your hand

While I watched you die.

Oh, how I miss you,

Oh, how I cry.

The pain, the anger the emptiness,

I just need you in my life.

© Copyright, 2009 – Roselyn Vazquez

Dedicated to my grandfather Angel Arce Torres who went home to

Heaven on May 11, 2009 after having been the victim of a tragic Hit

& Run on May 30, 2008. I miss him dearly.

THE BATTLE WITHIN

Everyday I wake up

surrounded with this fight,

a fight to keep the pretense

that my life is quite alright.

A perfect life all think it is

when looking from the outside,

not knowing that the battle for my life,

is slowly killing me inside.

The body that I worked so hard

to keep in shape,

is slowly starting to deteriorate.

My hair so full, the color of almond,

isn't even really my own.

I can no longer continue to pretend

I can no longer fight this battle alone.

At night I pray for the pain to stop

my tears my only companion, my only friend,

I have to be strong, for this battle has just begun.

Soon it will be time to let you all know,

the time will come for my secret to

SPREAD,

As I continue to fight this battle of death,

that everyday eats more at my

BREAST.

© Copyright, Roselyn Vazquez

**Dedicated to my aunt Rosa Maria Lugo and to all who have lost

loved ones to Cancer and to all of the survivors of Cancers**

LIES TOLD ME THE TRUTH

You said you loved ME,

And that you would always be THERE,

You said no other love,

To mine could compare,

You said you’d shield me

From the cold, your arms will

always keep me warm,

You’d said you would always

Comfort me and protect me,

And keep me safe from any harm,

But YOU LIED TO ME,

You betrayed me,

And I don’t understand,

Did I do something wrong?

Or was your love all pretend?

You left me

After causing me such harm,

Your hands and eyes so cold,

What happened to the warmth?

Why did you lie to me, mommy?

Isn’t that a bad thing?

I thought we were always supposed

To say the truth?

Why didn’t you get in trouble for that?

Although I’m young,

I now understand,

Lies told me the truth,

Your love was pretend.


Dedicated to Caylee M. Anthony and all of the victims of child

abuse.

WHY

Looking up to the sky

I see the stars at night

I look up to God's home

and gently ask why.

Why must life hurt so much?

Why must the pain increase in the heart?

Why all the tears and not a single smile?

Why is my life falling apart?

Why can't I live life wanting to be here?

Why doesn't the pain go away?

Why don't the tears stop running down?

Why I do I feel worst every day?

My prayer's seem to go unanswered

My heart is crying "please help"

My pain is taking control over me

and silence surrounds me all over

I just can't explain this

I guess I'm too blind to see

but until my prayers are answered

I'll have to life my life wondering WHY

WHY CAN'T LIFE BRING A SMILE TO MY FACE?


ONE DAY OF HAPPINESS

Is one day of happiness

worth a thousand others

of complete sadness?

Tears flow with every

passing moment,

why must my heart

feel such torment?

The phone rings, I pause

and look at the number,

Once again, it isn't you,

can't help but wonder.

Can your day be that busy

that about me you forget?

Or can it be that our relationship

you have started to regret?

Can you get so involved

with the things you do daily,

because not a single world from you,

and, not just today, it has been happening lately.

It isn't fair,

that love comes at me this way,

my love should be given to a man

who will love me everyday.

Sometimes I simply wonder,

what is the point of holding on,

cause one day you'll walk out

and will forever be gone.

Why keep fooling myself?

Why continue to pretend?

When you and I both know

exactly how this story will end.

There is just no room for me,

in your heart that seems to grow tired,

you don't even look at me,

like you once did, with so much fire.

You are distant,

sometimes even cold,

your love is slipping,

and I can't seem to grab a hold,

Although my love for you yet grows

more with each passing day,

nothing feels the same anymore,

you treat me in a very different way.

But I will try and stop these tears

from falling

because no matter how loud my heart screams

you will never listen to its calling.

© Copyright, 2010 - Roselyn Vazquez

INSIGNIFICANT

How can one person make me feel

So insignificant,

No call, no voice, no words,

Silence the only sound existent,

Tears mimicking the

pouring rain,

falling to the floor,

telling a story of pain,

silence shattering this

heart of mine,

thoughts making me crazy,

in my own mind confined,

hours…no, days go by,

emptiness growing inside,

I want you to find me,

Yet from you forever hide,

I stare in the mirror

Not recognizing myself,

The shattering image,

The only story to tell,

A shattering heart,

Bleeds out in pain,

This torture of love,

It’s too much to contain,

Why do you continue to

Make me feel so insignificant,

Day by passing day,

You continue to treat me

In such cruel ways,

Why do you make me feel

So insignificant,

I want to forget you but

I can’t,

Who you do make me

Feel so…….insignificant?


DEAR HEART,

Aren’t you suppose to keep me alive,

Why then do you put me through this hell?

All you pump is hurt and from with each

Pump all happiness deprive,

Blood flowing through my veins,

Pouring down like acid rain,

All you produce is pain,

Driving me insane,

Causing me so much shame,

This love shit is lame,

And you, my heart, I solely blame.

Dear Heart,

I want to rip you out of my chest,

Why don’t you abandon me

Like all the rest?

Why do you keep beating,

When I want life no ‘more,

Why are you putting me through

This torment for?

Dear Heart,

Give up now,

Leave me alone to burn

In my sorrow,

Stop lying to me there will

Never be a better

Tomorrow,

My soul is in mourning,

Can’t you see?

The blood that you pump

is poison to me.

Dear Heart,

Once as pure

As gleaming gold,

Now darken and frozen,

Ice cold,

Trapped inside a wall

That’s unbreakable,

Making my emotions

Unstable,

I try to understand your reasons

For beating, but

Dear Heart,

I am unable.


PRETENDING

I am tired of having

To pretend,

That I am satisfied with

Just being friends,

I want to be more than

Just that girl

You run to when things

Aren’t going your way,

I want to be the one

You think of day after day,

The one you want to

Romance in every possible way,

I am tired of wiping

Your tears,

Every one that falls,

Confirms my deepest fears,

The longer I hold you,

The more pain I feel,

I’m tired of waiting

For your heart to heal,

It is taking way too long,

While yours reconstruct

Mines slowly,

self-destructs,

I can’t continue to

Be there for you,

I’m sorry but

Walking away is what

I must do,

I’m tire of being just

Your friend,

And to not love you

Continue to pretend.


MY FAULT

Yet another night of disappointment,

Why should I be surprised?

It’s my fault for allowing you to

always push me aside,

It’s my fault for allowing

this situation to continue,

for allowing you to treat me

worst than you would treat a stranger,

Why do I let you take advantage of me?

Can I possibly be so blinded by love,

That the truth I refuse to see,

Telling me you care simply isn’t enough,

Your actions prove different, you only

Look for me when your times are rough,

It’s never been about me

Or the love I have inside,

This has gone too far this time,

You continue to stomp all over my pride,

But, it’s my fault

You continue to treat me this way,

It’s my fault for thinking

You will love me someday.

You treat me badly because

It is what I allow,

Wishing that times

Will change somehow,

It’s sad because I know

Things will remain the same,

It’s my fault, all of

the disappointment, tears and shame.


STRANGER IN MY BED

Stranger in my bed

Penetrate me with no emotion,

No feeling, no sensation,

No warmth, no love, no reaction,

Emptiness all I feel,

No fulfilment, no devotion,

Stranger in my bed,

Void grows deeper with every motion,

Is there another woman

Granting your every fantasy,

Occupying your mind,

Taking you to ecstasy,

I don’t recognize the man

Laying next to me,

Images all a blur,

Shadow of you all I see,

Stranger in my bed,

Shattering me with every move,

No sounds, no words, cold touch,

Pain, tears all hurt proves,

Stranger in my bed,

Touch me no more,

Stranger by my side,

My heart cries, it roars,

Let’s say our good-byes,

Burry what once was,

Our love has forever died.

© Copyright 2012, Roselyn Vazquez

LONELINESS

Loneliness strikes me again,

silence surrounds me all over,

you are not here with me,

you've left me forever,

I don't see you, I can't hear you,

where are you, where is my lover,

I miss you, I love you,

I need you in my life,

come back, please don't leave me,

I need you by my side,

Where are you? I can't find you,

you are nowhere around,

I have looked everywhere,

but you are no place to be found,

You left me, didn't say why,

you left me here to cry,

why don’t you come back to me

and give our love another try,

I am lost in confusion,

thoughts crowding my mind,

Did I do something wrong,

why did you leave me behind,

I can't sleep, I can't eat, I am desperate,

don't know what to do,

I can't forget about us,

I must continue to search for you,

I need to know,

I need an explanation,

why did you leave

without giving me a reason,

I'm going crazy,

waiting for the day

when you find the courage to tell me

why you left me this way.

© Copyright 2010 - Roselyn Vazquez

LIAR

Liar, cheater, deceitful

filled with lies,

poisonous roses,

venom in thorns,

watching them slowly die,

causing nothing but strife

to those in your life,

a master in disguise,

perfecting how to hide,

killing those that are alive,

it’s your only way to survive,

destroying all who cross your path,

victimizing them with your wrath,

only pleasure inflicting pain,

innocence always maintain,

using your charm as a way to distract,

playing Prince Charming in yet

another act,

cruel intentions always your plan,

you are nothing but a cowardly man.


SOMEONE I NEVER HAD

I miss what used to be….

The way you looked at me…

As if I was the only person

In this world you could see…..

I miss your “good morning” calls…

I miss you whispering in my ear

That “I was your all”…..

I miss you so much….

Your gentle kisses

And tender touch…..

I miss our conversations,

The laugher….

With you there were no reservations….

……………………….we were like two teens,

On our way to discovering love….

………………………………So naïve…

Never realizing the ulterior motives

You had….

Almost succeeding in breaking the walls,

I strongly build up……

Your sweet “nothings” meant

Exactly just that……

I was your prey.......you

Conniving rat…..

Making me feel as if it was

My fault,

Disturbing my every thought,

Making me distraught….

The one I thought would make

Me happy has made me so

Sad…..

The anger builds up…..

I am so damn mad……

How can I miss….

Someone I never even had….


JUST FOR A MOMENT

Just for a moment let’s pretend,

That I am the only woman in your life,

That unconditional love for me you feel,

And without my love you couldn’t survive.


That you need me by your side,

To touch you; to caress you,

Without my kisses you’d die.


That your thoughts and dreams

revolve around me,

your fantasies, your want to touch,

you close your eyes and my face

is all you see.


That you miss me when I am not there,

That no other woman, no other love,

to me could compare.


That you’d never hurt me this way,

That all you long for is to bring

Me happiness day after passing day.


That your love for me is real,

that when you kiss and make love to me,

In your heart true love for me is all you feel.


LOVE YOU NO MORE

I am tired,

Of waiting for something

That’s not going to happen.

I held on to a hope that has diminished,

When I need you,

You are never there,

How can you say you care?

Not knowing when to expect

Your next call,

Waiting day after day,

Only to feel my tears fall,

Then you come along

And expect things to be alright,

Excuse after excuse trying

To make things right,

Expecting me to understand

But I’m done caring,

I can no longer pretend

To care,

To smile,

To be there,

To want you,

To need you,

To love you,

No More.

Roselyn Vazquez © Copyright, 2011

IMAGINE

IMAGINE feeling you finally found that special person

you have been longing for,

IMAGINE feeling you can finally let go and let

your past pain crash right onto the floor,

IMAGINE looking forward to many nights,

of conversations getting to know each other,

IMAGINE talking for long hours, confessing your

deepest fears and comforting one another.

IMAGINE looking into his eyes, feeling his soul

connect with yours, feeling your heart swell up inside.

IMAGINE going to bed at night and waking up

with him still by your side.

IMAGINE finally giving yourself a chance to love another

without any reservation, without any fear,

IMAGINE yelling to the world you finally found the one,

that in your heart you will hold dear, the vision of love is now clear.

THAT IS HOW I ONCE FELT, NOW.........................................

IMAGINE one day asking with a smile,

if his company will be gracing you tonight,

IMAGINE with a cold tone to his voice, he

tells you, "NO, maybe another night."

IMAGINE the feelings of shock and confusion,

when he says that for you he never did care,

IMAGINE the feeling rushing through my body,

when he confirms his feelings were never truly there.

IMAGINE fighting back the tears,

although inside my heart is crumbling.

IMAGINE the hurt he caused you that day,

when I learned I just lost a game of foul play.

BETRAYED, HURT, REJECTED, USED, PORTRAYED ARE FEELINGS

LEFT DEEP IN MY HEART.

................................................................AND YOU ARE TO BLAME,

NOW....

IMAGINE how you would feel, if the roles were reversed,

and YOU were the victim of your cruel game.


LEFT WONDERING

The clock is ticking,

they sky darkening,

still no word from you,

and once again I am left wondering.

Are you thinking of me?

Do you even care how I feel?

or do you just choose to ignore

and with the situation not deal?

It has been three long months,

since I last heard your voice,

The situation then wasn't good,

our quiet little world finally

ringing out loud with noise.

Things were said,

accusations of betrayal spoken,

there is more than one victim here,

but whose heart is really broken?

Deep in my heart I want to believe,

I was truly special to you,

but why lie to myself,

when it is what you so perfectly do.

How many secrets can a person's

soul maintain,

before the sunny days

turn into raging rain?

We kept our relationship in the dark,

for far too many years,

I should have known this triangle of lies,

would end up in an ocean of violent tears.

I am so confused,

don't know what to do,

don't know what to feel or think,

why did I ever believe in you?

Lying to myself to disguise my pain,

pretending you truly care,

pretending your love is true,

just so that this heartbreak I learn to bare.

© Copyright, 2010 - Roselyn Vazquez

SHADOWS OF YESTERDAY

Shadows of yesterday

that haunt me every day,

Making it impossible

For me to live today,

There is no light in my life,

Darkness is all I see,

why couldn’t you take these

memories with you,

They remain so deep

Within me,

I still feel your touch

Caress me in bed,

I still remember the

Words of love you once said,

I hate you yet I love you

How can this be?

All your love did

Was destroy me.

Shadows of yesterday,

Mimicking my every step,

I can’t let go,

My happiness you kept,

I’ve forgotten how to

Smile, there is

No more laughter in

My life,

The shadows of you,

Cause me such strife,

So dark are the

Shadows that reflect

In my soul,

Every heartbeat shatters,

From being ice cold,

I can’t find a way to move

Forward,

I live in the past,

Your shadow has embodied

Me in a very tight

Cast.


MY ONLY FRIEND

The sound of the ocean,

waves crashing ashore

the smell of the ocean breeze,

filling the air,

my feet leaving an imprint

on the cold wet sand

it is a relaxing feeling

one I rarely get to live.

Wave after wave,

crash after crash,

the ocean, my only friend.

I close my eyes,

take a deep breath,

I want to remember this moment,

nature; who truly understands.

The seagulls are flying,

Sailboats are sailing.

Couples enjoying a swim,

children building sand castles,

but me, I am alone,

although surrounded by many,

the sand is my bed,

the sun my warm blanket,

the air my comforter and

You, the ocean so vibrant,

my only friend, my only companion.


CRY

You didn't make me empty promises

by telling me everything was going to be okay,

by telling me you will take my pain away,

you just let me cry.

Cry until my soul release itself from pain.

My tears didn't scare you away.

Nor did you confuse them as a sign

of weakness.

You just opened up your arms,

and offered me your friendship and

you just let me cry.

Cry until I could cry no more,

holding me in your arms,

kissing away at my tears as they fell,

you caressed me with your love,

and you just let me cry,

cry until my heart

felt no more pain.


MORE THAN A FRIEND

She came to me with a broken heart,

not knowing HER pain

was tearing ME apart.

For years, I have been her confidant,

her comforter, her friend,

yet my true feelings for her,

she didn't seem to comprehend,

Her heart had been shattered,

a dozen times before,

when will she realize I am the one

that she needs and will forever

her heart adore,

I will always hold her, cherish her,

treat her like a queen,

Can't she see,

I am more than just a friend,

I want to love her,

and forever her heart mend.


NEVER LOOKED AT YOU THAT WAY

Never looked at you that way,

Just my friend from childhood play,

My partner, my buddy,

Sharing a space in our

Grade school cubby,

Every turn you were there,

No other friend to you could compare,

Sixth, Seventh, Eighth grade and Ninth,

High school graduation,

Oh wow now college,

Different destinations,

Calls, e-mails, texts all day and night,

My best friend, I miss you,

You always made things alright,

Never apart for much too long,

Feeling nostalgic, memories of you,

With every song,

People speculate of a romance,

Non-existent,

Your presence I long for before me

This instant,

Never looked at you that way,

No matter what others continue to say,

They don’t know what I feel,

My best friend,

A relationship only you and I

Understand,

Finally standing in front of me,

Happiness in your eyes is

All I see,

Your embrace assuring me

Nothing has changed,

My body is tingling, a

Feeling too strange,

Your lips slowly touching mine,

This moment in my mind

Forever frozen in time,

A love revealed for all to see,

The instant you passionately

Kissed me.


THOUGHTS OF YOU

Last night I thought of you.

This morning I thought of you.

Right now, precisely at this moment

I am thinking of you.

Since the moment you unexpectedly

walked into my life

thoughts of you just cloud my mind.

I think back on that moment

when your lips first touched my lips,

oh, what an intense moment that was,

I remember how your hands caressed my hips.

The fire that your touch ignited

still burns in the depths of my desires.

Oh, how every time I close my eyes

those thoughts of you set my body on fire.

It is like an everlasting flame that burns

and burns with a passion that illuminates

even the darkest of nights.

These thoughts of you that haunt my body,

I try to stop, but I can't,

I am definitely loosing this fight.

Last night I thought of you.

This morning I thought of you.

Right now, precisely at this moment,

I am still thinking of you.


TWO FRIENDS

Two friends,

Adults,

Ready to deal with the

Aftermath of last night,

Was it pure curiosity or did we succumb

to what felt naturally right?

What is wrong with sexually

Gratifying one another

Without issues of commitment,

Why bother?

You know what I want,

I know what you like,

We see eye to eye,

Don’t we?

No need for explanations, affection

Or trying to explain reasons why.

Two friends,

Adults,

A night of pure play,

Satisfying the needs of

A woman and man,

We can handle this, can’t we?

We both say we can.

……but it all changed,

Our relationship never the same,

Nothing you did, nothing I did,

That night of passion I solely blame.


SILENT DESIRE

He looked,

I looked,

Eyes locked,

Communicating a desire,

So strong,

Sending ripping waves

Through my veins,

He touched,

I touched,

Innocently,

Just a brush with our

Fingertips,

So simple yet so

Powerful,

My body reacting,

He licked his lips,

I licked my lips,

Taste buds enhancing,

The anticipation of

Savouring who is in

Front of me,

Eyes still intact,

He grabs hold of my hand,

and guides me to a

secret place,

He leads,

I follow,

Alone at last,

No words need be spoken,

Passion the only conversation,

We kiss,

We touch,

We undress,

We touch some more,

Bodies burning like a

Three alarm fire,

We lay,

We taste,

We make love,

We are total strangers giving in

to our silent desire.

© Copyright 2012, Roselyn Vazquez

STILL UNSPOKEN

Today will be the day

I’ll tell him how I feel,

I’ll pour my heart out and confess

That my love for him is real,

Why wait until tomorrow,

I may not get another chance,

I’d risk it all; I’d bare it all

as this truth could lead to romance,

My mind formulates the words,

I so badly want to speak,

I stare at you in my presence,

My entire being just gets weak,

Images of love replaced

By negative thoughts,

Palms moist from sweat,

Words in my throat are caught,

But today will be the day,

Tomorrow may never come,

I will grab this chance and let him know,

That for me he is the one,

Today I’ll risk it all

Despite of my fears from the past,

I will live for the moment,

This once chance at love I’ll grasp,

You look into my eyes,

I briefly look into yours,

Love reveal, if you look deeper

In my eyes you’ll explore,

How would you react,

When I tell you that I love you,

Will you feel the same,

Or think I am a fool,

will love be reciprocated,

for so long I have waited,

is it worth risking a heart broken,

……………I missed my chance,

I couldn’t do it,

My love for you remains unspoken.

Roselyn Vazquez © 2011

WORDS THAT ESCAPE YOU

Words that escape you,

Find their way to my mind,

Scrambling my every though,

Leaving nothing behind,

Words of wisdom,

Words of love,

Words of knowledge,

A mystery to solve,

What type of poem

Should I write for you today,

Your words have inspire me

In every possible way,

Words with passion,

Or words of pain,

Words for all seasons,

Weather sunshine or rain,

Too many words to

Express thoughts & emotions,

Words of friendships,

Words of devotion,

Those words that escaped you,

Now rest in my mind,

A puzzle to solve,

Until the right words I find.

© 2011, Roselyn Vazquez

BAREFOOT IN THE RAIN

Let’s kick off our shoes

And run barefoot in the rain,

Forget about our worries,

And let laughter ease our pain,

Raise your arms up high,

Let the rain drench your soul,

Stand in place and spin in circles,

Make new memories of stories yet told,

Close your eyes

let’s go back in time,

when playing in the falling rain,

was an innocent child’s play crime,

Jump in muddy puddles,

Chase and tag one another,

Roll down the hill in wet grass,

Laughing, giggling, as if nothing

In the world was a bother.

So Let’s kick of our shoes,

And run barefoot in the rain,

We’ve got nothing to loose

Just memories to gain.


I FOUND AN ANSWER

"What is Love?" you asked me once.

....but I couldn't even make a sound,

I paused to think to find an answer, but

my mind just wondered around & round.

I felt an emptiness & loneliness,

and an enormous feeling of deception.

I wondered why it was so difficult

to find an answer to such a simple question.

"What is Love?" you asked me once.

I opened my mouth and started to speak,

"Love is....." I paused again

and started to think....

"I really don't know," I said to you.

I didn't have an answer to your question.

And I felt like such a complete fool.

We left it at that and had other conversations

many other things to talk about

but that question you asked me

had left me with so much doubt.

"What is Love?" I asked myself time and time again.

"What is Love?" I asked myself every single day.

I searched and searched but there was no answer

"What is Love?" I just don't know, I just can't find my way.

Time went by and our relationship continued to grow

but the question of love still burned deep in my mind.

"Could it be this?" No, no it can't. "Could it be that?"

No, no no, it just can't be,

or am I really just too blind to see.

"What is Love?" I asked myself

.....and then I realized.

I can't choose just any answer

to burn the doubt that is in my mind

I can't even look it up in a book

because an answer I will not find.

"What is Love?"

Please ask me now

because an answer to your question

I have finally found

When I close my eyes and think of you

I am no longer to blind to see

that the answer I had been searching for

had been growing deep inside of me.

Love is you, Love is me,

Love is what you made me see.


PICTURE PERFECT

The view by the window caught my eye,

Clouds painted throughout the sky,

Sunbeams turning into moonbeams,

The image reminded me of a recent dream,

I close my eyes and find my way back there,

You and I,

Our souls we bare,

A feeling we share,

the beat of our hearts,

a work of art,

painted with the touch of our hands,

an intimacy so deep – only we understand.

© Copyright 2011 - Roselyn Vazquez

FEAR OF LOVE

It is difficult to understand

the feelings in one's heart,

Fear tends to take over,

tearing those feelings apart.

Not realizing what love is,

creates boundaries of uncertainty,

causing a wall to build around the heart,

and keeping us from seeing the reality.

If one allows oneself the opportunity to explore

you risk love not findings its way,

giving up on what could truly be,

causing frustration & confusion every day.

Fearing falling in love is what it comes down to

not knowing what to expect when it finally arrives,

avoiding oneself to get too emotionally involved,

thus letting go of a chance to allow love in our lives.

So, what do you do when you just don't know,

how do you allow your feelings to naturally flow

without letting your fearful thoughts

get in the way of letting that love grow.


BEING AFRAID

I finally see things in a whole different light,

but I am afraid.

I finally awake with hope inside,

but I am afraid.

I finally feel the love in my heart,

but I am afraid.

I had a plan and this was it:

To live alone, without someone there,

To wake up every morning and

start my daily routine,

To go to bed at night knowing

that in control, I had everything.

Not to feel, so that emotions won’t take over.

Not to speak because words will be unspoken,

Not to laugh, because tears will follow,

Not to love, so that my heart won’t be broken.

And then one day, my plans were disturbed,

because this is what happened when you entered my world:

The emotions that were all bottled in,

slowly began to release themselves

allowing me to feel,

The words that were thought but unspoken

they were, slowly led their way,

to feelings so real,

The tears that I feared falling, worked

their way out of my eyes, but tears of

joy they were from the laughter that

you bring,

and then there is my heart, that beats

different everyday, because bits of pieces of

you, have my heart beating to the music

of a guitar string.

And now my plans have veered

and this is the reason why:

To live alone, without someone there,

feels lonely,

To wake up in the morning with a daily routine,

gets boring,

To go to bed at night, knowing everything is in control,

gives you no hope to wake,

in the morning.

Now the problem is:

That I am afraid,

afraid of giving, afraid of feeling, afraid of loving.

I am afraid,

afraid of now knowing, afraid of getting hurt.

But most of all, I’m afraid, afraid of fear,

of fear taking over and me giving up

without allowing myself the chance,

to feel and live life and discover the

true feeling of love with another.


I USED TO KNOW YOU

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

We used to walk to

School hand in hand,

Laughing at random

Things that only you and

I could understand,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

We used to chase

One another through

Pouring rain,

Slipping, tripping

Falling in a puddle,

Clothes filled with mud stains,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

We’d run down to the valley

and climb up the trees,

picking apples,

breaking branches, running

to avoid the sting of the bees,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

We had dreams,

Set goals,

And promised that

No matter what, those

Dreams we tightly

Hold,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

We said we wouldn’t

Be like the rest,

We won’t fall into the

Traps they did,

No matter how hard,

We will try our best,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

You slowly began to

Change,

The boy I once knew

Had turned into

A man too strange,

The light in your eyes

Began to fade,

Your dreams for drugs,

You began to

Trade,

Trying to make the

Easy money,

Doing anything for

Fast pay,

Your goals drenched

On by the rain in which

We once played,

Your hands now

Stained by the steel

Of a gun,

Causing hurt and

Destroying lives, now

Your only form of

Fun,

I used to know you

WHAT HAPPENED?

I don’t know the man

In front of me,

The one I knew would

Never kill,

His own dreams and goals

He had more will,

To live a life in which

He conquered,

All goals ahead,

I used to know you,

WHAT HAPPENED?

Why did you choose

this life instead?


CINQUAINS

IMAGINATION….

Vivid, Colourful,

Enhancing, building, creating

Something new each day

DREAMING……..

WOMAN,

I am,

Daughter, sister, mother,

Independent, strong, I am,

WOMAN…….


REALLY

Really,

What are we fighting for?

There is no win,

There is no gain,

We only lose more and more.

So, Really,

What is YOUR battle about?

Some street corner or territory,

Over some nigga or hoes,

Or over drama we can’t work out?

Really,

Why aren’t we ever satisfied?

We MUST have the latest fashion,

Keep up with technology,

Envy daily intensified,

Really?

Child came home with all B’s

But that wasn’t good enough for his daddy,

Who used his fists as so called discipline,

In his house only A’s accepted never B’s or C’s.

So, Really?

Is this a form of life today?

No change, no hope, no dreams or clarity,

But violence, negativity, envy, abuse is all

We see every single day.

Really,

Is this what life is all about?

Innocent child lay dead on the street,

People running frantic, none stopping to help,

All you hear is the agony as his mother for help she shouts.

SUPERWOMAN/SUPERMAN

You say you want a Superwoman,

Well I need a superman…

You want a companion, wife & lover,

I need a man who will love me forever…

You want a woman who is loyal,

True and honest,

Stand by you unconditionally,

Abide by your rules,

And take care of your necessities,

You want a woman who will

Giver her all…

Who will reach out and catch you

Breaking your every fall…

You want a woman who will

Bear and raise your children,

A nurturer, a listener,

A woman who understands,

You want a superwoman,

One with the power to

Meet your every demand…

One who will stand

At your every command,

One who comprehends that

In the house you are the man…

Now let me explain the real

Meaning of a superwoman…

A superwoman is independent,

Strong and faithful,

In a t-shirt, sweats or black dress

She is just as beautiful,

A woman who isn’t afraid to

Display her strengths or vulnerability,

One who realizes her

Weaknesses and insecurities,

I can be your superwoman,

Can you be my superman?

A man who can deal with a

Woman’s independence,

One who isn’t afraid to

Display affection and romance,

A man who understands that

A relationship is a partnership,

Not an ownership,

A man who can handle

Being a daddy, a lover

And friend,

One who acknowledges

His woman’s success,

Not be intimidated if his

Woman makes more

Than a little less,

If she gains a little weight,

He would love her all the same,

Be proud of her, not ashamed,

A man who isn’t afraid to love,

And acknowledges his relationship,

A man who offers his whole

Heartedly friendship….

So tell me are you out there,

If so…I’ll be your superwoman,

But can you handle being my superman?

Roselyn Vazquez

© Copyright, 2011

All Rights Reserved

WHY ME

It was a direct threat,

Was it NOT?

Time after time

Your advances had me

Distraught,

It took years for you to

Gain my trust,

And in less two minutes,

You shattered your image,

Your actions led by lust,

It took years for me to

Build up my reputation

Which was based on my character,

Work ethics & constant dedication,

How dare you

Come at me that way,

Making me more uncomfortable,

With each passing day,

It was never about

My professionalism,

What could have been expected,

From such immoralism?

You only live by your rules,

Constant abuse of power,

By be-littleling those you constantly use,

But you crossed the line

And disrespected me,

It opened up my eyes

And the real you I now see,

Don’t ever expect me

To be the same,

You are not the man

You proclaim,

SELF-DESTRUCTION

There is so much destruction among

The human race,

A destruction that that many of us

Seem to enjoy and embrace,

It shouldn’t come as a surprise,

However,

Since injustice and oppression,

Has dictated society forever,

White supremacy,

In full command,

Robbing Indians

Of their own land,

Servants and slaves,

Beaten and sold,

These are the stories,

We weren’t told,

Resistance,

Oppression,

Inequality,

Injustice,

But weren’t all

Men created equal?

Freedom expressed,

By the nation’s eagle?

United we stand,

I think NOT,

The sacrifice of our ancestors,

We seem to have forgot,

Dr. King, Malcolm X,

Fighting for Civil Rights,

Susan B. Anthony & Elizabeth Cady Stanton

In Seneca Falls began their fight,

We have never stood united,

This nation was built

In treason and lies,

but just like Maya Angelou

“Still I rise,”

We must not forget

The sacrifices of years past,

We must stand together,

Our this nation will stand last,

So much hatred

And unnecessary destruction

It’s time for a new period

Of reconstruction,

Our people, united,

Together as one,

Only then the war of self-destruction,

Would be won.


IF THE WORLD HAD NO COLOUR

If the World had No Colour

Imagine the world had no colour,

Other than black and white,

Will the sun shine upon us,

Will daylight turn to night?

What if the moon

Forever turn off its light,

Making the world obscure

No more sweet good-nights,

Hopes & dreams now gone,

No stars to make a

Wish upon,

Summer, winter, spring

And fall,

All flowers the same,

All the colour of a snowball,

Imagine the world had

No colour at all,

No clouds in the sky,

No more spring rainfalls,

There’d be no rainbows

On lightened up a day,

No more green grass,

No more summer play,

No colours to distinguish,

No colours which to blame,

If the world had no colour,

Everything would look the same,

Red, Blue, Green and yellow,

Purple, Orange, Pink,

and brown,

No more colours to make us smile,

All we’d see is darkness followed

by a frown,

we wouldn’t know the colour of

blood,

or the colour of the ocean

and sky,

blue, green, hazel or brown,

wouldn’t be an option when

I looked in your eyes,


How will its beauty be defined,


How would it have been designed?


I AM ME

I have one child,

Are you surprised?

No, I am not married,

I am no one’s wife.

My parent’s home

Although always mine,

I have my own place

And live my own life.

No I don’t smoke,

Drink? On rare occasion,

I have my goals,

And a good education,

My pants fit well,

Skirt not too tight,

I can’t help if I have curves,

Rounds hips and thick thighs,

I am a woman,

A Puerto Rican woman at that,

I am confident,

Not a spoiled brat,

I depend on myself,

And take care of my home,

NO, I wasn’t struck

By the lazy syndrome,

Don’t be surprise

If one day our paths cross,

You’ll be working for me,

And I’ll be your boss.

MOTHER/DAUGHTER

© Copyright 2011, Jaileene Leniz Arriaga (15 years old)

Your smile can light up an entire room

your sweet smell of that butterfly perfume

when you're mad sometimes it can be quite funny

and no I don't think that you're made out of money

I appreciate you for all you do even though I don't tell you

believe me its true

without your love and support I would be lost

because you love me flaws and all

When my walls are up you're the only one that could bring them

down

when my hope is lost you bring it back around

Sometimes you may be a little bit off

but that doesn't mean I don't love you at all

I appreciate you mom ( I appreciate you)

The secrets I share with you no one will ever know

you been my mom & dad thank you for playing both roles

I know it may get hard putting up with me

but thank you for never stopping to believe

You're the one that matters the most

you're my mom but my best friend also

I know you will always be there

cuz you always tell me and I know you care

You are the sunlight on the darkest day

all my bad dreams you make them go away

you never push me too hard

and i love you with all my heart.

© Copyright 2011, Jaileene Leniz Arriaga

BEING A GIRL LIVING IN A MAN’S WORLD

© Copyright, 2012, Jaileene Leniz Arriaga (15 years old)

Being a girl living in a man’s world,

Being told, “You can’t play baseball that’s a boy sport,” or

“Green can’t be your favourite colour that’s a boy’s colour.”


Having dreams of being a doctor or a lawyers, but being told

“that’s a man’s job,” or “el sitio para las mujeres es en la cocina.”

(The place for women is the kitchen).


Being called weak because you can’t lift a couch,

When on the inside you’re the strongest and most

Independent person.


Being called ugly because you don’t show your body,

You are beautiful for having respect for yourself.


Fighting a battle every single day

To prove that we can do anything men can do and show

That all the stereotypes held against us are not true.

That’s what I face every day being a girl in a man’s world.


HOW WILL I GO?


A bullet to the chest, to the brain, to my heart...

which will be the tragedy to tear us apart?

A knife to my back, or to the chest, which way would be best?

How will I die? How will I go?

Till the day comes we'll never know.

A handful of pills, a blade to the wrist, or a noose to the neck.

Who says it will be an accidental death?

Will there be a ceremony with flower? Or will everyone

be disappointed in me for taking the easy way out, and

being a coward? How will I die? How will I go?


A heart attack, a stroke, or while I'm asleep...

A natural cause, or a disease? Will people come visit

me before I go? Or will I leave this world with the feeling

of being alone? Will I have children left crying? Or a

mother left with a broken heart from her child dying?




Till the day comes we'll never know. It will

be a mystery till the day arrives. Just remember,

everybody dies...


THE

END

REVEALED

SECRETS

-2012-

POETRY

BY

ROSELYN VAZQUEZ

COVER DESIGN BY BARRY MOWLES

DESTINY TO WRITE PUBLICATIONS

COPYRIGHT ©2012, BY THE AUTHOR OF THIS BOOK, AND DESTINY TO WRITE PUBLICATIONS.

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Revealed Secrets

Biography

ROSELYN VAZQUEZ

Born and raised in Hartford, Connecticut, Roselyn is a 36 year old single mother who is currently working towards obtaining her Masters of Arts in Elementary Education. As the oldest of three children, Roselyn grew up loving the power of words. Through reading and writing she found an escape and way to cope with all of the real life issues

surrounding her.

Roselyn started writing her own short stories and poems since she was in the 5th grade. She developed a passion for literature and poetry that remains with her today.

Living in the projects and the rough neighbourhoods of the inner city, she was exposed to and dealt with my serious

issues, including bullying, insecurities, violence and death of loved ones. Through it all she found comfort in writing. Words became her best friend; with pen and a notebook always by her side, she would write down her deepest secrets, her fears, her dreams and just about anything.

Revealed Secrets exposes some of those fears, feelings,

dreams and real life experiences.

IN DEDICATION

First and foremost, I dedicate this book to a wonderful young lady

who changed my life from the moment I held her; my beautiful daughter Jaileene Leniz. I love you more than words could ever

express and I am very proud of you.

I also dedicate this book to Parents, Madeline and Felix, my brother Flex and sister Christina, who have shown me the meaning

of unconditional love.

To my beautiful nieces, K’Tiannie, Amya, Mikayla and soon to arrive Zendaya – Titi loves you with all her heart.

To my cousin Vanessa who is more like a sister to me. She is my best friend and my confidant; the one that I can reveal my secrets

to. You are the best and I love you.

To my best friend Lisa for giving me the gift of true friendship.

To my amazing family; we have been through some very difficult times the past few years but through it all our love remains and

we are always there for one another whether it is to share laughter, tears, happiness or pain – God blessed me with the

greatest family of all. I love you.

Also: In Loving Memory of my Grandfather, Angel Arce Torres;

The memory of you lives within me every day.

A special thanks to: Barry Mowles for believing in the talent of poets like me; for his

dedication and the opportunity he gives so many people. I am forever grateful for the chance you have provided me. You open

doors for many and give people “like me” the confidence and encouragement that we need.

Thank You.

REVEALED SECRETS

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