RENT: THE MUSICAL

Book, Music, Lyrics by Jonathan Larsonmay he be friggen worshiped!

I, obviously own nothing. And I didn't write out the scrip. Yeah, yeah... You know the deal. It's from here.

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(The audience enters in the theatre to discover a stage bare of curtains.At stage left looms a metal sculpture intended to represent: [a] a totempole/Christmas tree that stands in an abandoned lot, [b] a wood burningstove with a snaky chimney that is at the center of MARK and ROGER'sloft apartment, and [c] in Act II, a church steeple. On stage thefive-musician band performs under a wooden platform surrounded byrailing. The wooden platform has a staircase on the upstage side.Downstage left is a black, waist-high rail fence. Once the audience is inthe theatre, CREW and BAND MEMBERS move about informallyonstage in preparation for Act I).

ROGER DAVIS, carrying an electric guitar, enters upstage left andcrosses to a guitar amp sitting on a chair at center stage. He casuallyplugs his guitar into the amp and adjusts levels, then crosses downstageand sits on the table.

After a few chords, the COMPANY, led by MARK COHEN, enters fromall directions and fills the stage. MARK sets up a small tripod and a16mm movie camera downstage center, aimed upstage. He addresses theaudience.)

INTRO

MARKWe begin on Christmas Eve with me, Mark, and my roommate, Roger. Welive in an industrial loft on the corner of 11th street and Avenue B, the topfloor of what was once a music publishing factory. Old rock 'n' roll postershang on the walls. They have Roger's picture advertising gigs at CBGB's andthe Pyramid Club. We have an illegal wood burning stove; its exhaust pipecrawls up to a skylight. All of our electrical appliances are plugged into onethick extension cord which snakes its way out a window. Outside, a small tentcity has sprung up in the lot next to our building. Inside, we are freezingbecause we have no heat.

(He turns the camera to ROGER)

Smile!

TUNE UP #1

MARKDecember 24th, Nine PMEastern Standard TimeFrom here on inI shoot without a scriptSee if anything comes of itInstead of my old shitFirst shot -- RogerTuning the Fender guitarHe hasn't played in a year

ROGERThis won't tune

MARKSo we hearHe's just coming backFrom half a year of withdrawal

ROGERAre you talking to me?

MARKNot at allAre you ready? Hold that focus -- steadyTell the folks at home what you're doing Roger ...

ROGERI'm writing one great song --

MARKThe phone rings.

ROGERSaved!

MARKWe screenZoom in on the answering machine!

(An actor places a telephone on a chair and we see MARK'S MOM in aspecial light.)

VOICE MAIL #1

ROGER & MARK'S OUTGOING MESSAGE"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")

MOMThat was a very loud beepI don't even know if this is workingMark -- Mark -- are you thereAre you screening your calls --It's momWe wanted to call and say we love youAnd we'll miss you tomorrowCindy and the kids are here -- send their loveOh, I hope you like the hot plateJust don't leave it on, dearWhen you leave the houseOh, and MarkWe're sorry to hear that Maureen dumped youI say c'est la vieSo let her be a lesbian...There are other fishies in the sea... Love Mom!

(Lights fade on MOM and answering machine.)

TUNE UP #2

MARKTell the folks at home what you're doing Roger

ROGERI'm writing one great song

MARKThe phone rings

ROGERYesss!

MARKWe screen

ROGER & MARK'S ANSWERING MACHINE"Speak" ... ("Beeeep!")

(Lights fade up on the street: the front-door area of MARK and ROGER'sbuilding. Nearby is a battered public pay phone. TOM COLLINS standsat the phone.)

COLLINS"Chestnuts roasting -"

ROGER & MARK(as MARK picks up the phone)Collins!

COLLINSI'm downstairs

MARKHey!

COLLINSRoger picked up the phone?

MARKNo, it's me

COLLINSThrow down the key

(MARK pulls out a small leather pouch and drops it off the aprondownstage center as if from a window; a weighted leather pouch plopsdown from "upstairs." COLLINS catches it.)

MARKA wild night is now pre-ordained

(Two THUGS appear from above, with clubs. They are obviously close toattacking COLLINS, who says back into the phone...)

COLLINSI may be detained

(THUGS mime beating and kicking COLLINS, who falls to the ground aslights on him fade)

MARK

What does he mean...?(Phone rings again)What do you mean "detained"?

(Lights come up on BENNY, who's on a cellular phone.)

BENNYHo ho ho

MARK & ROGERBenny! Shit

BENNYDudes, I'm on my way

MARK & ROGERGreat! Fuck

BENNYI need the rent

MARKWhat rent?

BENNYThis past year's rent which I let slide

MARKLet slide? You said we were 'golden'

ROGERWhen you bought the building

MARKWhen we were roommates

ROGERRemember - you lived here!?

BENNYHow could I forget?You, me, Collins and MaureenHow is the drama queen?

MARKShe's performing tonight

BENNYI know

Still her production manager?

MARKTwo days ago I was bumped

BENNYYou still dating her?

MARKLast month I was dumped

ROGERShe's in love

BENNYShe's got a new man?

MARKWell -- no

BENNYWhat's his name?

BOTHJoanne

BENNYRent, my amigos, is dueOr I will have to evict youBe there in a few

(ROGER defiantly picks out Musetta's theme from Puccini's La Bohemeon the electric guitar. The fuse blows on the amp)

MARKThe power blows

RENT

(The COMPANY bursts into a flurry of movemen. Then everyone exceptMARK and ROGER freezes in a group upstage)

MARKHow do you document real lifeWhen real life is getting moreLike fiction each day

Headlines -- bread-linesBlow my mindAnd now this deadline"Eviction -- or pay"Rent!

ROGERHow do you write a songWhen the chords sound wrongThough they once sounded right and rareWhen the notes are sourWhere is the powerYou once had to ignite the air

MARKAnd we're hungry and frozen

ROGERSome life that we've chosen

TOGETHERHow we gonna payHow we gonna payHow we gonna payLast year's rent

MARKWe light candles

ROGERHow do you start a fireWhen there's nothing to burnAnd it feels like something's stuck in your flue

MARKHow can you generate heatWhen you can't feel your feet

BOTHAnd they're turning blue!

MARKYou light up a mean blaze

(ROGER grabs one of his own posters)

ROGERWith posters-

(MARK grabs old manuscripts)

MARKAnd screenplays

ROGER & MARKHow we gonna payHow we gonna payHow we gonna payLast year's rent

(Lights go down on the loft and go up on JOANNE JEFFERSON, who'sat the pay phone)

JOANNE(On phone)Don't screen, MaureenIt's me -- JoanneYour substitute production managerHey hey hey! (Did you eat?)Don't change the subject MaureenBut darling -- you haven't eaten all dayYou won't throw upYou won't throw upThe digital delay ---Didn't blow up (exactly)There may have been one teeny tiny sparkYou're not calling Mark

COLLINSHow do you stay on your feetWhen on every streetIt's 'trick or treat'(And tonight it's 'trick')'Welcome back to town'Oh, I should lie downEverything's brownAnd uh -- ohI feel sick

MARK(At the window)Where is he?

COLLINSGetting dizzy(He collapses.)

MARK & ROGER

How we gonna payHow we gonna payHow we gonna payLast year's rent

(MARK and ROGER stoke the fire. Crosscut to BENNY's Range Rover)

BENNY(On cellular phone)Alison baby -- you sound sadI don't believe those two after everything I've doneEver since our wedding I'm dirt -- They'll seeI can help them all out in the long run

(Three locales: JOANNE at the pay phone, MARK and ROGER in theirloft, and COLLINS on the ground. The following is sung simultaneously)

BENNYForces are gatheringForces are gatheringCan't turn awayForces are gathering

COLLINSUghhhhh--Ughhhhh--Ughhhhh-- I can't thinkUghhhhh--Ughhhhh--Ughhhhh-- I need a drink

MARK (reading from a script page)"The music ignites the night with passionate fire"

JOANNEMaureen -- I'm not a theatre person

ROGER"The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit"

JOANNECould never be a theatre person

MARKZoom in as they burn the past to the ground

JOANNE (realizing she's been cut off)Hello?

MARK & ROGERAnd feel the heat of the future's glow

JOANNEHello?

(The phone rings in the loft. MARK picks it up)

MARK(On phone)Hello? Maureen?--Your equipment won't work?Okay, all right, I'll go!

MARK & HALF THE COMPANYHow do you leave the past behindWhen it keeps finding ways to get to your heartIt reaches way down deep and tears you inside outTill you're torn apartRent!

ROGER & OTHER HALF OF COMPANYHow can you connect in an ageWhere strangers, landlords, loversYour own blood cells betray

ALLWhat binds the fabric togetherWhen the raging, shifting winds of changeKeep ripping away

BENNYDraw a line in the sandAnd then make a stand

ROGERUse your camera to spar

MARKUse your guitar

ALLWhen they act tough - you call their bluff

MARK & ROGERWe're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER W/HALF THE COMPANYWe're not gonna pay

MARK & ROGER W/OTHER HALF OF COMPANYWe're not gonna pay

ALLLast year's rentThis year's rentNext year's rentRent rent rent rent rentWe're not gonna pay rent

ROGER & MARK'Cause everything is rent

YOU OKAY HONEY? (The street)

(The street in front of the pay phone. A HOMELESS MAN appears aboveon the right. Across the stage, ANGEL DUMOTT SCHUNARD is seatedon the Christmas tree sculpture, with a plastic pickle tub balanced like adrum between his knees)

A HOMELESS MANChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are ringingSomewhere else!Not here

(The HOMELESS MAN exits. ANGEL gets a good beat going on the tub,but is interrupted by a moan. He starts to drum again and sees COLLINSlimp to downstage-left proscenium)

ANGELYou okay honey?

COLLINSI'm afraid so

ANGELThey get any money?

COLLINSNoHad none to getBut they purloined my coatWell you missed a sleeve! - Thanks

ANGELHell, it's Christmas EveI'm Angel

COLLINSAngel..? IndeedAn angel of the first degreeFriends call me Collins - Tom CollinsNice tree..

ANGELLet's get a band-aid for your kneeI'll change, there's a "Life Support" meeting at nine-thirtyYes this body provides a comfortable homeFor the Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

COLLINSAs does mine

ANGELWe'll get along fineGet you a coat, have a biteMake a night I'm flush

COLLINSMy friends are waiting

ANGELYou're cute when you blushThe more the merri ho ho hoAnd I do not take no

(ANGEL and COLLINS walk off stage right.)

TUNE UP #3 (The loft)

(Lights come up on loft)

ROGERWhere are you going?

MARKMaureen calls.

ROGER

You're such a sucker!

MARKI don't suppose you'd like to see her show in the lot tonight?(ROGER shrugs)Or come to dinner?

ROGERZoom in on my empty wallet

MARKTouche. Take your AZTClose on RogerHis girlfriend AprilLeft a note saying "We've got AIDS"Before slitting her wrists in the bathroomI'll check up on you later - Change your mind. You have to get out of thehouse.(He exits)

ROGERI'm writing one great song before I.

ONE SONG GLORY

One songGloryOne songBefore I goGloryOne song to leave behindFind one songOne last refrainGloryFrom the pretty boy front manWho wasted opportunityOne songHe had the world at his feetGloryIn the eyes of a young girlA young girlFind gloryBeyond the cheap colored lightsOne songBefore the sun setsGlory - on another empty life

Time flies - time diesGlory - One blaze of gloryOne blaze of glory - gloryFindGloryIn a song that rings trueTruth like a blazing fireAn eternal flameFindOne songA song about loveGloryFrom the soul of a young manA young manFindThe one songBefore the virus takes holdGloryLike a sunsetOne songTo redeem this empty lifeTime fliesAnd then - no need to endure anymoreTime dies(ROGER is interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. It is MIMIMARQUEZ, a beautiful stranger from downstairs)The door

(ROGER crosses to the door)

LIGHT MY CANDLE

ROGERWhat'd you forget?

(MIMI enters, holding a candle and looking for a match; her electricity isdown, too)

MIMIGot a light?

ROGERI know you? You'reYou're shivering

MIMI

It's nothingThey turned off my heatAnd I'm just a littleWeak on my feetWould you light my candle?What are you staring at?

ROGERNothingYour hair in the moonlightYou look familiar(He lights her candle. MIMI starts to leave, but stumbles)Can you make it?

MIMIJust haven't eaten much todayAt least the room stopped spinningAnyway, What?

ROGERNothingYour smile reminded me of

MIMII always remind people of who is she?

ROGERShe died, Her name was April

(MIMI discreetly blows out the candle)

MIMIIt's out againSorry about your friendWould you light my candle?

(ROGER lights the candle. They linger, awkwardly)

ROGERWell-

MIMIYeah. Ow!

ROGEROh, the wax it's --

MIMIDripping! I like it -- between my --

ROGERFingers. I figured...Oh, well. Goodnight(MIMI exits. ROGER heads back toward his guitar on the table. There isanother knock, which he answers)It blew out again?

MIMINo - I think that I dropped my stash

ROGERI know I've seen you out and aboutWhen I used to go outYour candle's out

MIMII'm illin'I had it when I walked in the doorIt was pureIs it on the floor?

ROGERThe floor?

(MIMI gets down on all fours and starts searching the floor for her stash.She lookss back at ROGER, who is staring at her again)

MIMIThey say I have the best ass below 14th streetIs it true?

ROGERWhat?

MIMIYou're staring again

ROGEROh noI mean you do - have a nice-I mean , You look familiar

MIMILike your dead girlfriend?

ROGEROnly when you smileBut I'm sure I've seen you somewhere else

MIMIDo you go to the Cat Scratch Club?That's where I work - I dance - help me look

ROGERYes!They used to tie you up-

MIMIIt's a living

(MIMI douses the flame again)

ROGERI didn't recognize youWithout the handcuffs

MIMIWe could light the candleOh won't you light the candle?

(ROGER lights it again.)

ROGERWhy don't you forget that stuffYou look like you're sixteen

MIMII'm nineteen but I'm old for my ageI'm just born to be bad

ROGERI once was born to be badI used to shiver like that

MIMII have no heat - I told you

ROGERI used to sweat

MIMII got a cold

ROGERUh huhI used to be a junkie

MIMIBut now and then I like to

ROGERUh huh

MIMIFeel good

ROGERHere it - um

(ROGER stoops and picks up a small object: MIMI's stash)

MIMIWhat's that?

ROGERIt's a candy bar wrapper

(ROGER puts it behind his back and into his pocket)

MIMIWe could light the candle

(ROGER discreetly blows out the candle)

MIMIWhat'd you do with my candle?

ROGERThat was my last match

MIMIOur eyes'll adjust, thank God for the moon

ROGERMaybe it's not the moon at allI hear Spike Lee's shooting down the street

MIMIBah humbug ... Bah humbug

(MIMI places her hand under his, pretending to do it by accident)

ROGERCold hands

MIMI

Yours tooBig. Like my father'sYou wanna dance?

ROGERWith you?

MIMINo -- with my father

ROGERI'm Roger

MIMIThey call meThey call me Mimi

(They come extremely close to a kiss. MIMI reaches into his pocket, nabsthe stash, waves it in front of his face, and makes a sexy exit)

VOICE MAIL #2

(JOANNE's loft. In blackout another phone rings. We see MAUREEN insilhouette)

MAUREENHi. You've reached Maureen and Joanne. Leave a message and don't forget"Over the Moon" -- My performance, protesting the eviction of the Homeless(and artists) from the Eleventh Street Lot. Tonight at midnight in the lotbetween A and B. Party at Life Cafe to follow (BEEP)

MR. JEFFERSONWell, Joanne -- We're offI tried you at the officeAnd they said you're stage managing or something

MRS. JEFFERSONRemind her that those unwed mothers in HarlemNeed her legal help too

MR. JEFFERSONCall Daisy for our itinerary or Alfred at Pound RidgeOr Eileen at the state department in a pinchWe'll be at the spa for new year'sUnless the senator changes his mind

MRS. JEFFERSONThe hearings

MR. JEFFERSONOh yes KittenMummy's confirmation hearing begins on the tenthWe'll need you alone - by the sixth

MRS. JEFFERSONHarold!

MR. JEFFERSONYou hear that?It's three weeks awayAnd she's already nervous

MRS. JEFFERSONI am not!

MR. JEFFERSONFor Mummy's sake, KittenNo Doc Martens this time and wear a dressOh, and Kitten -- have a merry

MRS. JEFFERSONAnd a bra

TODAY 4 U (The loft)

(MARK and ROGER's loft)

MARKEnter Tom Collins, computer genius, teacher, vagabond anarchist, who rannaked through the Parthenon

(COLLINS carries ANGEL's pickle tub, now filled with provisions)

MARK & COLLINSBustelo - MarlboroBanana by the bunchA box of Captain Crunch will taste so good

COLLINSAnd firewood

MARK

Look - it's Santa Claus

COLLINSHold your applause

ROGEROh hi

COLLINS'Oh hi' after seven months?

ROGERSorry

COLLINSThis boy could use some Stoli

COLLINS, MARK & ROGEROh holy night

ROGERYou struck gold at MIT?

COLLINSThey expelled me for my theory of Actual RealityWhich I'll soon impartTo the couch potatoes at New York UniversityStill haven't left the house?

ROGERI was waiting for you, don't you know?

COLLINSWell, tonight's the nightCome to the Life Cafe after Maureen's show

ROGERNo flow

COLLINSGentlemen, our benefactor on this Christmas EveWhose charity is only matched by talent, I believeA new member of the Alphabet City avant-gardeAngel Dumott Schunard!

(ANGEL sashays in. He's gorgeously done up in Santa drag, with a fan oftwenty-dollar bills in each hand)

ANGEL

Today for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for me

COLLINSAnd you should hear her beat!

MARKYou earned this on the street?

ANGELIt was my lucky day today on Avenue AWhen a lady in a limousine drove my wayShe said, "Dahling be a dear haven't slept in a yearI need your help to make my neighbor's yappy dog disappear""This Akita-Evita just won't shut upI believe if you play non-stop that pupWill breathe its very last high-strung breathI'm certain that cur will bark itself to death"Today for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for meWe agreed on a fee - A thousand dollar guaranteeTax-free - and a bonus if I trim her treeNow who could foretell that it would go so wellBut sure as I am here that dog is now in doggy hellAfter an hour - Evita - in all her gloryOn the window ledge of that 23rd storyLike Thelma & Louise did when they got the bluesSwan dove into the courtyard of the Gracie MewsToday for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for me

(ANGEL does a fabulous drum and dance solo)

Then back to the street where I met my sweetWhere he was moaning and groaning on the cold concreteThe nurse took him home for some mercurochromeAnd I dressed his wounds and got him back on his feetSing it!Today for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for meToday for you - tomorrow for me

YOU'LL SEE

(BENNY enters)

BENNYJoy to the worldHey, you bum yeah, you, move overGet your ass off that range rover

MARKThat attitude toward the homeless is just whatMaureen is protesting tonight.(Holding camera up to BENNY)Close up: Benjamin Coffin the third, our ex-roommate who married AlisonGrey, of the Westport Greys - then bought the building and the lot next doorfrom his father-in-law in hopes of starting a cyber-studio

BENNYMaureen is protestingLosing her performance spaceNot my attitude

ROGERWhat happened to BennyWhat happened to his heartAnd the ideals he once pursued?

BENNYThe owner of that lot next doorHas a right to do with it as he pleases

COLLINSHappy birthday, Jesus!

BENNYThe rent

MARKYou're wasting your time

ROGERWe're broke

MARKAnd you broke your word - this is absurd

BENNYThere is one way you won't have to pay

ROGERI knew it!

BENNYNext door, the home of Cyberarts, you seeAnd now that the block is re-zonedOur dream can become a realityYou'll see boysYou'll see boysA state of the art, digital, virtual interactive studioI'll forego your rent and on paper guaranteeThat you can stay here for freeIf you do me one small favor

MARKWhat?

BENNYConvince Maureen to cancel her protest

MARKWhy not just get an injunction or call the cops

BENNYI did, and they're on stand byBut my investors would ratherI handle this quietly

ROGERYou can't quietly wipe out an entire tent cityThen watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' on TV!

BENNYYou want to produce films and write songs?You need somewhere to do it!It's what we used to dream aboutThink twice before you pooh-pooh itYou'll see boysYou'll see boysYou'll see - the beauty of a studioThat lets us do our work and get paidWith condos on the topWhose rent keeps open our shopJust stop the protestAnd you'll have it madeYou'll see - or you'll pack

(BENNY exits)

ANGELThat boy could use some prozac

ROGEROr heavy drugs

MARKOr group hugs

COLLINSWhich reminds meWe have a detour to make tonightAnyone who wants to can come along

ANGELLife support's a group for people coping with lifeYou don't have to stay too long

MARKFirst I've got a protest to save

ANGELRoger?

ROGERI'm not much company you'll find

MARKBehave

ANGELHe'll catch up later - He's just go other things on his mindYou'll see boys

MARK & COLLINSWe'll see boys

ROGERLet it be boys!

COLLINSI like boys

ANGELBoys like me

ALLWe'll see

TANGO: MAUREEN

(The lot. JOANNE is reexamining the cable connections for theumpteenth time)

MARKAnd so into the abyss...The lot. Where a small stage is partially set up

JOANNE(playing with some wires)"Line in"...I went to Harvard for this?

MARKClose on Mark's nose dive

JOANNE"Line out"...

MARKWill he get out of here alive...?

(JOANNE notices MARK approaching)

JOANNEMark?

MARKHi

JOANNEI told her not to call you

MARKThat's MaureenBut can I help since I'm here

JOANNEI hired an engineer

MARKGreat!Well, nice to have met you

JOANNEWait!She's three hours lateThe samples won't delayBut the cable

MARKThere's another waySay something - anything

JOANNE (into the mike)Test - one, two three

MARKAnything but that

JOANNEThis is weird

MARKIt's weird

JOANNEVery weird

MARKFuckin' weird

JOANNEI'm so madThat I don't know what to doFighting with microphonesFreezing down to my bonesAnd to top it all offI'm with you

MARKFeel like going insane?Got a fire in your brain?And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?

JOANNEAs a matter of fact

MARKHoney, I know this actIt's called the 'Tango Maureen'The Tango MaureenIt's a dark, dizzy merry-go-roundAs she keeps you dangling

JOANNEYou're wrong

MARKYour heart she is mangling

JOANNEIt's different with me

MARKAnd you toss and you turn'Cause her cold eyes can burnYet you yearn and you churn and rebound

JOANNEI think I know what you mean

BOTHThe Tango Maureen

MARKHas she ever pouted her lipsAnd called you 'Pookie'

JOANNENever

MARKHave you ever doubted a kiss or two?

JOANNEThis is spookyDid you swoon when she walked through the door?

MARKEvery time - so be cautious

JOANNEDid she moon over other boys?

MARKMore than moon

JOANNEI'm getting nauseous(They begin to dance, with MARK leading)

MARKWhere'd you learn to tango?

JOANNEWith the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's

And you?

MARKWith Nanette Himmelfarb. The Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale JewishCommunity Center

(They switch, and JOANNE leads)

It's hard to do this backwards

JOANNEYou should try it in heels!She cheated

MARKShe cheated

JOANNEMaureen cheated

MARKFuckin' cheated

JOANNEI'm defeatedI should give up right now

MARKGotta look on the bright sideWith all of your might

JOANNEI'd fall for her still anyhow

BOTHWhen you're dancing her danceYou don't stand a chanceHer grip of romanceMake you fall

MARKSo you think, 'Might as well'

JOANNE"Dance a tango to hell"

BOTHAt least I'll have tangoed at allThe Tango Maureen

Gotta dance till your diva is throughYou pretend to believe herCause in the end you can't leave herBut the end it will comeStill you have to play dumbTill you're glum and you bumAnd turn blue

MARKWhy do we love when she's mean?

JOANNEAnd she can be so obscene

MARKTry the mike

JOANNEMy Maureen (reverb: een, een, een...)

MARKPatched

JOANNEThanks

MARKYou know I feel great now!

JOANNEI feel lousy(The pay phone rings. MARK hands it to JOANNE)Honey, we're... (pause) Pookie?!You never call me Pookie...Forget it, we're patched(She hangs up, looks at MARK)

BOTHThe Tango Maureen

LIFE SUPPORT

(ANGEL and COLLINS attend an AIDS Life Support group. PAUL, thesupport leader, sits on the downstage railing above. GORDON, one ofthe members of the group, is standing downstage left, facing theaudience. As the mebers enter, they introduce themselves and form a

semicircle. Note: The names of the support group members shouldchange every night and should honor actual friends of the compnay whohave died of AIDS)

STEVESteve

GORDONGordon

ALIAli

PAMPam

SUESue

ANGELHi, I'm Angel

COLLINSTom. Collins

PAULI'm Paul. Let's begin

ALLThere's only usThere's only this..

(MARK blusters in noisily)

MARKSorry ... Excuse me ... oops

PAULAnd you are?

MARKOh - I'm notI'm just here toI don't haveI'm here withUm - MarkMark - I'm MarkWell - this is quite an operation

PAULSit down MarkWe'll continue the affirmation

ALLForget regret or life is yours to miss

GORDONExcuse me Paul - I'm having a problem with thisThis credo - My T-cells are lowI regret that news, okay?

PAULAlrightBut Gordon - How do you feel today?

GORDONWhat do you mean?

PAULHow do you feel today?

GORDONOkay

PAULIs that all?

GORDONBest I've felt all year

PAULThen why choose fear?

GORDONI'm a New YorkerFear's my lifeLook - I find some of what you teach suspectBecause I'm used to relying on intellectBut I try to open up to what I don't know

GORDON & ROGER (who sings from his loft)Because reason says I should have diedThree years ago

ALLNo other roadNo other wayNo day but today

OUT TONIGHT (Mimi's apartment)

MIMIWhat's the time?Well it's gotta be close to midnightMy body's talking to meIt says, "Time for danger"It says "I wanna commit a crimeWanna be the cause of a fightWanna put on a tight skirt and flirtWith a stranger"I've had a knack from way backAt breaking the rules once I learn the gamesGet up - life's too quickI know someplace sickWhere this chick'll dance in the flamesWe don't need any moneyI always get in for freeYou can get in tooIf you get in with me

Let's go out tonightI have to go out tonightYou wanna play?Let's run awayWe won't be back before it's Christmas dayTake me out tonight (meow)

When I get a wink from the doormanDo you know how lucky you'll be?That you're on line with the feline of Avenue B

Let's go out tonightI have to go out tonightYou wanna prowlBe my night owl?Well take my hand we're gonna howlOut tonight

In the evening I've got to roamCan't sleep in the city of neon and chromeFeels too damn much like homeWhen the Spanish babies crySo let's find a barSo dark we forget who we are

And all the scars from theNevers and maybes die

Let's go out tonightHave to go out tonightYou're sweetWanna hit the street?Wanna wail at the moon like a cat in heat?Just take me out tonight

(MIMI makes her way to ROGER's door and ends the song in front ofhim.)

Please take me out tonightDon't forsake me - out tonightI'll let you make me - out tonightTonight - tonight - tonight

ANOTHER DAY

(The loft - MIMI plants a huge kiss on ROGER, who recoils)

ROGERWho do you think you are?Barging in on me and my guitarLittle girl heyThe door is that wayYou better go you knowThe fire's out anywayTake your powder take your candleYour sweet whisperI just can't handleWell take your hair in the moonlightYour brown eyes goodbye, goodnightI should tell you I should tell youI should tell you I should no!Another time another placeOur temperature would climbThere'd be a long embraceWe'd do another danceIt'd be another playLooking for romance?Come back another dayAnother day

MIMI

The heart may freeze or it can burnThe pain will ease if I can learnThere is no futureThere is no pastI live this moment as my lastThere's only usThere's only thisForget regretOr life is yours to missNo other roadNo other wayNo day but today

ROGERExcuse me if I'm off trackBut if you're so wiseThen tell me why do you need smack?Take your needleTake your fancy prayerAnd don't forgetGet the moonlight out of your hairLong ago you might've lit up my heartBut the fire's dead ain't never ever gonna startAnother time another placeThe words would only rhymeWe'd be in outer spaceIt'd be another songWe'd sing another wayYou wanna prove me wrong?Come back another dayAnother day

MIMIThere's only yesOnly tonightWe must let goTo know what's rightNo other courseNo other wayNo day but today

(Lights slowly fade up on the Life Support group)

MIMI & OTHERSI can't controlMy destinyI trust my soulMy only goal is justTo be

There's only nowThere's only hereGive in to loveOr live in fearNo other pathNo other wayNo day but today

ROGERControl your temperShe doesn't seeWho says that there's a soul?Just let me beWho do you think you are?Barging in on me and my guitarLittle girl, heyThe door is that wayThe fire's out anyway

ALLNo day but todayNo day but todayNo day but todayNo day but todayNo day but today

ROGERTake your powder, take your candleTake your brown eyes, your pretty smile, your silhouetteAnother time, another placeAnother rhyme, a warm embraceAnother dance, another wayAnother chance, another day

(MIMI and the Life Support group members exit. One person, STEVE,remains at stage right, above)

WILL I?

(Various locations)

STEVEWill I lose my dignityWill someone careWill I wake tomorrowFrom this nightmare?

GROUP #1Will I lose my dignityWill someone careWill I wake tomorrowFrom this nightmare?

GROUP #2Will I lose my dignityWill someone careWill I wake tomorrowFrom this nightmare?

GROUP #3Will I lose my dignityWill someone careWill I wake tomorrowFrom this nightmare?

GROUP #4Will I lose my dignityWill someone careWill I wake tomorrowFrom this nightmare?

(ROGER puts on his jacket and exits the loft)

ON THE STREET

THREE HOMELESS PEOPLEChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are ringingOut of townSanta Fe

SQUEEGEEMANHonest living, man

(He recoils as though he's almost been run over by a car)

Feliz Navidad

(Three POLICE OFFICERS, in full riot gear, enter and approachsleeping BLANKET PERSON - The FIRST OFFICER pokes her with anightstick)

HOMELESS PERSONEvening, officers

(Without answering, the FIRST OFFICER raises his nightstick again)

MARK (pointing his camera)Smile for Ted Koppel, Officer Martin

(The FIRST OFFICER lowers his stick)

HOMELESS PERSONAnd a Merry Christmas to your family

POLICE OFFICERSRight

(The POLICE OFFICERS stride offstage. MARK continues to filmBLANKET PERSON)

BLANKET PERSON (To MARK)Who the fuck do you think you are?I don't need no goddamn helpFrom some bleeding heart cameramanMy life's not for you toMake a name for yourself on

ANGELEasy, sugar, easyHe was just trying to

BLANKET PERSONJust trying to use me to kill his guiltIt's not that kind of movie, honeyLet's go this lot is full ofMotherfucking artistsHey artistYou gotta dollar?I thought not

(BLANKET PERSON crosses to downstage left with anotherHOMELESS PERSON)

SANTA FE

(The Street)

ANGELNew York City

MARKUh huh

ANGELCenter of the universe

COLLINSSing it girl-

ANGELTimes are shittyBut I'm pretty sure they can't get worse

MARKI hear you

ANGELIt's a comfort to knowWhen you're singing the hit-the-road bluesThat anywhere else you could possibly goAfter New York would be a pleasure cruise

COLLINSNow you're talkingWell, I'm thwarted by a metaphysic puzzleAnd I'm sick of grading papers that I knowAnd I'm shouting in my sleep, I need a muzzleAll this misery pays no salary, soLet's open up a restaurant in Santa FeOh sunny Santa Fe would be niceLet's open up a restaurant in Santa FeAnd leave this to the roaches and mice

COLLINSOh-oh

ALLOh

ANGELYou teach?

COLLINSI teach , Computer Age PhilosophyBut my students would rather watch TV

ANGELAmerica

ALLAmerica

COLLINSYou're a sensitive aestheteBrush the sauce onto the meatYou could make the menu sparkle with rhymeYou could drum a gentle drumI could seat guests as they comeChatting not about Heidegger, but wine(with HOMELESS PEOPLE in the shadows)Let's open up a restaurant in Santa FeOur labors would reap financial gains

ALLGains, gains, gains

COLLINSWe'll open up a restaurant in Santa FeAnd save from devastation our brains

HOMELESSSave our brains

ALLWe'll pack up all our junk and fly so far awayDevote ourselves to projects that sellWe'll open up a restaurant in Santa FeForget this cold Bohemian hellOh

ALLOh

COLLINSDo you know the way to Santa Fe?You know, tumbleweeds...prairie dogs...Yeah

I'LL COVER YOU

MARK

I'll meet you at the showI'll try and convince Roger to go(MARK exits)

ANGELAlone at last

COLLINSHe'll be back, I guarantee

ANGELI've been hearing violins all night

COLLINSAnything to do with me? Are we a thing?

ANGELDarling... we're everything!

Live in my houseI'll be your shelterJust pay me backWith one thousand kissesBe my lover I'll cover you

COLLINSOpen your doorI'll be your tenantDon't got much baggageTo lay at your feetBut sweet kisses I've got to spareI'll be there- I'll cover you

BOTHI think they meant itWhen they said you can't buy loveNow I know you can rent itA new lease you are, my love,On life be my life

(They do a short dance)

Just slip me onI'll be your tenantWherever whatever I'll be your coat

ANGELYou'll be my kingAnd I'll be your castle

COLLINSNo you'll be my queenAnd I'll be your moat

BOTHI think they meant itWhen they said you can't buy loveNow I know you can rent itA new lease you are, my love,On life all my life

I've longed to discoverSomething as true as this is

COLLINSSo with a thousand sweet kissesI'll cover youWith a thousand sweet kissesI'll cover you

ANGELIf you're coldAnd you're lonelyYou've got one nickel onlyWith a thousand sweet kissesI'll cover youWith a thousand sweet kissesI'll cover you

COLLINSWhen you're worn outAnd tiredWhen your heart has expired

BOTHOh lover I'll cover youOh lover I'll cover you

WE'RE OKAY

JOANNE(on cellular phone)Steve JoanneThe Murget case?A dismissal

Good work counselor(The pay phone rings. JOANNE answers it and begins a conversationwith MAUREEN simultaneously juggling two other calls on her cellularphone)We're okayHoneybear wait!I'm on the other phoneYes, I have the cowbellWe're okay(into cellular phone)So tell them we'll sueBut a settlement will doSexual harassment and civil rights tooSteve, you're great(into pay phone)No you cut the paper plateDidja cheat on Mark a lot would you say?We're okayHoney hold on(into cellular phone)Steve, hold on(JOANNE presses the call-waiting button on the cellular phone)Hello?Dad - yesI beeped youMaureen is coming to Mother's hearingWe're okay(into pay phone)Honeybear - what?Newt's lesbian sisterI'll tell them(into cellular phone)You heard?(into pay phone)They heardWe're okay(into cellular phone)And to you dad(JOANNE presses the call-waiting as she speaks into the pay phone)Yes - Jill is there?(into cellular phone)Steve gotta-(into pay phone)Jill with the short black hair?The Calvin Klein model?(into cellular phone)Steve, gotta go(into pay phone)The model who lives in Penthouse A?

We'reWe're okayI'm on my way

CHRISTMAS BELLS (Various locations, St. Marks Place)

FIVE HOMELESS PEOPLEChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are singingOn TV - at Saks

SQUEEGEEMANHonest living, honest livingHonest living, honest livingHonest living, honest living

ALL FIVE HOMELESSCan't you spare a dime or twoHere but for the grace of God go youYou'll be merryI'll be merryTho merry ain't in my vocabularyNo sleighbellsNo Santa ClausNo yule logNo tinselNo hollyNo hearthNo

SOLOISTRudolph the red nosed reindeer

ALL FIVERudolph the red nosed reindeerNo room at the Holiday Inn oh no

(A few flakes of snow begin to descend)

And it's beginning to snow

(The stage suddenly explodes with life. The scene is St. Mark's Place onChristmas Eve -- an open-air bazaar of color, noise, and movement)

VENDORS

Hats, bats, shoes, boozeMountain bikes, potpourriLeather bags, girlie magsForty-fives, AZT

VENDOR #1No one's buyingFeel like crying

ALLNo room at the Holiday Inn, oh noAnd it's beginning to snow

(Lights up on one woman, who is showing off a collection of stolen coatsto COLLINS and ANGEL)

VENDOR #2How about a furIn perfect shapeOwned by an MBA from uptownI got a tweedBroken in by a greedyBroker who went brokeAnd then broke down

COLLINSYou don't have to do this

ANGELHush your mouth, it's Christmas

COLLINSI do not deserve you, Angel

COLLINSGive-giveAll you doIs giveGive me some way to showHow much you've touched me so

ANGELWait--what's on the floor?Let's see some moreNo-no-noKiss me - it's beginning to snow

(Lights focus on MARK and ROGER on right above)

MARKShe said, "Would you light my candle?"And she put on a poutAnd she wanted youTo take her out tonight?

ROGERRight

MARKShe got you out!

ROGERShe was more than okayBut I pushed her awayIt was bad I got madAnd I had to get her out of my sight

MARKWait, wait, wait you said she was sweet

ROGERLet's go eat - I'll just get fatIt's the one vice left when you're dead meat(MIMI has entered looking furtively for THE MAN)There - that's her

MARKMaureen?

ROGERMimi

MARKWhoa

ROGERI should go

MARKHey - it's beginning to snow

(The POLICE OFFICERS, in riot gear, enter above)

POLICE OFFICERSI'm dreaming of a white, right Christmas

(POLICE OFFICERS exit)

MIMI & JUNKIESFollow the man follow the manWith his pockets full of the jamFollow the man follow the manHelp me out, daddyIf you canGot any D man?

THE MANI'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIESGot any C man?

THE MANI'm cool

MIMI & JUNKIESGot any X?Any smack?Any horse?Any jugie boogie boy?Any blow?

(ROGER pulls MIMI aside)

ROGERHey

MIMIHey

ROGERI just want to sayI'm sorry for the way

MIMIForget it

ROGERI blew upCan I make it up to you?

MIMIHow?

ROGERDinner party?

MIMIThat'll do

THE MANHey lover boy cutie pieYou steal my client you die

ROGERYou didn't miss me- you won't miss herYou'll never lack for customers

JUNKIESI'm willin'I'm illin'I gotta get my sickness offGotta run, gotta rideGotta gun, gotta hide - gotta go

THE MANAnd it's beginning to snow

BENNY(entering, talking on his cellular phone)Wish me luck, AlisonThe protest is on

COAT VENDORL.L BeanGeoffrey BeeneBurburry zip outLining

JUNKIESGot any C man?Got any D man?Got any B man?Got any crack?Got any X?

SQUEEGEEMANHonest living-

ROGERMark, this is Mimi

MARK/MIMIHi

ROGER

She'll be dining (with us)

COAT VENDORHere's a new arrival

THE MANThat is an ounce

VENDORSHats, dats, bats

COLLINSThat's my coat!

COAT VENDORWe give discounts

MARKI think we've met

ANGELLet's get a better one

COLLINSIt's a sham

MIMIThat's what he said

THE MANI said it's a gram!

COLLINSBut she's a thief!

ANGELBut she brought us together

BENNYWhich investor is coming??

COLLINSI'll take the leather

BENNYYour father? Damn!

(The following is sung simultaneously)

HOMELESS & VENDORSChristmas bells are swingingChristmas bells are ringingChristmas bells are singingIn my dreams - next yearOnce you donate you can goCelebrate in TuckahoeYou'll feel cheeryI'll feel cheeryTho' I don't really know that theoryNo bathrobeNo steuben glassNo cappucino makersNo pearls, no diamondsNo 'Chestnuts roasting on an open fire'Chestnuts roasting on an open fireNo room at the Holiday Inn, oh no-

POLICE OFFICERSI'm dreaming of a white ChristmasJust like the ones I used to knowJingle bells prison cellsFa la la la fa la la laYou have the right to remainSilent night holy nightFall on your knees oh night divineYou'll do some timeFa la la la laFa la la la la

JUNKIESGot any C man?Got any D man?Got any B man?Got any X? Crack?I'm willin' I'm illin'Gotta get my sickness offC-D help meFollow the man follow the manFollow the manJugie boogie jugie boogieFollow the man follow the manAny crack any X any jugie boogie boyAny blow any X any jugie boogie boyGot any D man, got any C manGot any crack any X- any jugie boogie?

COAT VENDORTwenty-five

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORTwenty-five

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORNo wayTwenty-four

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORTwenty-four

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORNot todayTwenty-three

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORTwenty-three

ANGELFifteenIt's old

COAT VENDORTwenty-two

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORTwenty-one

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORSeventeen

ANGELFifteen

COAT VENDORFifteen

ANGEL & COAT VENDORSold!

MARK & ROGERLet'sGoToThe lot Maureen's performing

MIMIWho's Maureen?

ROGERHis ex

MARKBut I am over her

ROGERLet's not hold hands yet

MIMIIs that a warning?

ALL THREEHe/You/IJustNeed(s)To take it slowI should tell you I should tell youI should tell you I should tell youI should tell you I

ALLAnd it's beginning toAnd it's beginning toAnd it's beginning to

(Lights blackout and a blinding headlight comes through the door. As itreaches downstage, the lights come up and reveal MAUREEN)

MAUREENJoanne, which way to the stage?

ALLSnow

(Blackout)

OVER THE MOON (The Lot)

MARKMaureen's performance

MAUREEN (in front of a microphone)Last night I had a dream. I found myself in a desert called CyberlandIt was hot. My canteen had sprung a leak and I was thirstyOut of the abyss walked a cow ElsieI asked if she had anything to drinkShe said, "I'm forbidden to produce milkIn Cyberland, we only drink Diet CokeShe said, "Only thing to do is jump over the moon""They've closed everything real down ... like barns, troughs, performancespacesAnd replaced it all with lies and rules and virtual lifeBut there is a way out

BACKUPSLeap of faith, leap of faithLeap of faith, leap of faith

MAUREEN"Only thing to do is jump over the moon"I gotta get out of here! It's like I'm being tiedto the hood of a yellow rental truck, being packedin with fertilizer and fuel oil, pushed over a cliffby a suicidal Mickey Mouse! I've gotta find a way

MAUREEN"To jump over the moonOnly thing to do is jump over the moon"

BACKUPSLeap of faith, etc

MAUREEN

Then a little bulldog entered. His name (we have learned) was BennyAnd although he once had principles,He abandoned them to live as a lap dog to a wealthy daughter of therevolution"That's bull," he said"Ever since the cat took up the fiddle, that cow's been jumpyAnd the dish and the spoon were evicted from the table and eloped ...She's had trouble with that milk and the moon ever sinceMaybe it's a female thing'Cause who'd want to leave Cyberland anyway?...Walls ain't so badThe dish and the spoon for instanceThey were down on their luck - knocked on my doghouse doorI said, "Not in my backyard, utensils! Go back to China!""The only way out is up," Elsie whispered to me"A leap of faith. Still thirsty?" she askedParched. "Have some milk"I lowered myself beneath her and held my mouth to her swollen udderAnd sucked the sweetest milk I'd ever tasted(MAUREEN makes a slurping, sucking sound)"Climb on board," she saidAnd as a harvest moon rose over Cyberland,We reared back and sprang into a gallopLeaping out of orbitI awoke singing

BACKUPSLeap of faith, etc

MAUREENOnly thing to doOnly thing to do is jumpOnly thing to do is jump over the moonOnly thing to do is jump over the moonOver the moon over theMooooooooMooooooooMooooooooMooooooooMoo with me(MAUREEN encourages the audience to moo with her. She says,"C'mon, sir, moo with me," etc. The audience responds. When the"moos" reach a crescendo, she cuts them off with a big sweep of herarms)Thank you

(Blackout)

LA VIE BOHEME (Life Cafe)

(Downstage right, the PRINCIPALS have lined up and are waiting to beseated. A large table is situated down center. Down and to the right,BENNY and MR. GREY are seated at a smaller table. The RESTAURANTMAN tries to shoo our friends out)

RESTAURANT MANNo please noNot tonight please noMister can't you goNot tonight can't have a scene

ROGERWhat?

RESTAURANT MANGo, please go;You - Hello, sirI said, "No"Important customer

MARKWhat am I just a blur?

RESTAURANT MANYou sit all night you never buy

MARKThat's a lie that's a lieI had a tea the other day

RESTAURANT MANYou couldn't pay

MARKOh yeah

COLLINSBenjamin Coffin III - here?

RESTAURANT MANOh no

ALLWine and beer!

MAUREEN

The enemy of Avenue AWe'll stay

(They sit)

RESTAURANT MANOy vey!

COLLINSWhat brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?

BENNYI would like to propose a toastTo Maureen's noble tryIt went well

MAUREENGo to hell

BENNYWas the yuppie scum stompedNot counting the homelessHow many tickets weren't comped

ROGERWhy did Muffy-

BENNYAlison

ROGERMiss the show?

BENNYThere was a death in the familyIf you must know

ANGELWho died?

BENNYOur Akita

BENNY, MARK, ANGEL, COLLINSEvita

BENNYMimi I'm surprisedA bright and charming girl like you

Hangs out with these slackers(Who don't adhere to deals)They make fun yet I'm the oneAttempting to do some goodOr do you really want a neighborhoodWhere people piss on your stoop every night?Bohemia, Bohemia'sA fallacy in your headThis is CalcuttaBohemia is dead

(The BOHEMIANS immediately begin to enact a mock funeral, withMARK delivering the "eulogy")

MARKDearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes

COLLINS & ROGERDies irae dies illaKyrie eleisonYitgadal v' yitkadash, etc.

MARKHere she liesNo one knew her worthThe late great daughter of mother earthOn this night when we celebrate the birthIn that little town of BethlehemWe raise our glass- you bet your ass to-(MAUREEN flashes hers)La vie Boheme

ALLLa vie BohemeLa vie BohemeLa vie BohemeLa vie Boheme

MARKTo days of inspirationPlaying hookie, making something out of nothingThe need to expressTo communicate,To going against the grain,Going insaneGoing mad

To loving tension, no pensionTo more than one dimension,

To starving for attention,Hating convention, hating pretensionNot to mention of course,Hating dear old mom and dad

To riding your bike,Midday past the three- piece suitsTo fruits to no absolutesTo Absolute- to choiceTo the Village VoiceTo any passing fadTo being an us-for once-, instead of a them -

ALLLa vie BohemeLa vie Boheme

(JOANNE enters)

MAUREENIs the equipment in a pyramid?

JOANNEIt is, Maureen

MAUREENThe mixer doesn't have a caseDon't give me that face

(MAUREEN smacks JOANNE's ass as she exits. MR. GREY reacts)

MR. GREYAhhemm

MAUREENHey Mister- she's my sister

RESTAURANT MANSo that's five miso soup, four seaweed saladThree soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platterAnd one pasta with meatless balls

A BOYUgh

COLLINSIt tastes the same

MIMI

If you close your eyes

RESTAURANT MANAnd thirteen orders of friesIs that it here?

ALLWine and beer!

MIMI & ANGELTo hand-crafted beers made in local breweriesTo yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheeseTo leather, to dildos, to curry vindalooTo huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou

MAUREEN & COLLINSEmotion, devotion, to causing a commotionCreation, vacation

MARKMucho masturbation

MAUREEN & COLLINSCompassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new

COLLINSTo Sontag

ANGELTo Sondheim

FOUR PEOPLETo anything taboo

COLLINS & ROGERGinsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage

COLLINSLenny Bruce

ROGERLangston Hughes

MAUREENTo the stage

PERSON #1To Uta

PERSON #2To Buddha

PERSON #3Pablo Neruda, too

MARK & MIMIWhy Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbowTo blow off Auntie Em

ALLLa vie Boheme

(JOANNE returns)

MAUREENAnd wipe the speakers off before you pack

JOANNEYes, Maureen

MAUREENWell - hurry back

(MAUREEN and JOANNE kiss)

MR. GREYSisters?

MAUREENWe're close

(ANGEL jumps on top of COLLINS, who's on the table. They kiss)

ANGEL, COLLINS, MAUREEN, MARK, MR. GREYBrothers!

MARK, ANGEL, MIMI & THREE OTHERSBisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee HermanGerman wine, turpentine, Gertrude SteinAntonioni, Bertolucci, KurosawaCarmina Burana

ALLTo apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasyVaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,To no shame - never playing the Fame Game

COLLINSTo marijuana

ALLTo sodomy,It's between God and meTo S & M

(MR. GREY walks out)

BENNYWaiter...Waiter...Waiter

ALLLa vie Boheme

COLLINSIn honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will commenceimmediately following dinnerMimi Marquez, clad only in bubble wrap, will perform her famous lawnchair-handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred

ROGERMark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his inability to hold anerection on high holy days

(ROGER picks up an electric guitar and starts to tune it)

MARKMaureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at theeleventh street lot,Will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder,While accompanying herself on the electric celloWhich she has never studied

(At this point, JOANNE has entered and seen MAUREEN playfully kissMARK. JOANNE exits. BENNY pulls MIMI aside)

BENNYYour new boyfriend doesn't know about us?

MIMIThere's nothing to know

BENNYDon't you think that we should discuss-

MIMIIt was three months ago

BENNYHe doesn't act like he's with you

MIMIWe're taking it slow

BENNYWhere is he now?

MIMIHe's right - hmm

BENNYUh huh

MIMIWhere'd he go?

MARKRoger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song(ROGER picks up a guitar and plays Musetta's Theme)That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"

COLLINSAngel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions from ParisWhile accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic pickle tub

ANGELAnd Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchistIncluding the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T. virtual reality equipmentTo self-destruct, as it broadcast the words:

ALL"Actual reality -- Act Up -- Fight AIDS"

BENNYCheck!

(BENNY exits. Lights on MIMI and ROGER)

MIMIExcuse me did I do something wrong?I get invited then ignored all night long

ROGERI've been trying I'm not lyingNo one's perfect I've got baggage

MIMILife's too short, babe, time is flyingI'm looking for baggage that goes with mine

ROGERI should tell, you-

MIMII've got baggage too

ROGERI should tell you

MIMII got baggage, too

ROGERI should tell you

BOTHBaggage - wine

OTHERSAnd beer!

(Several beepers sound. Each turns off his or her beeper)

MIMIAZT break

(MIMI, ROGER, ANGEL, and COLLINS take pills)

ROGERYou?

MIMIMe , You?

ROGERMimi

(They hold hands and stare into each other's eyes lovingly. The rest of thecompany freezes)

I SHOULD TELL YOU

ROGER

I should tell you I'm disasterI forget how to begin it

MIMILet's just make this part go fasterI have yet to be in itI should tell you

ROGERI should tell you

MIMII should tell you

ROGERI should tell you

MIMII should tell I blew the candle outJust to get back in

ROGERI'd forgotten how to smileUntil your candle burned my skin

MIMII should tell you

ROGERI should tell you

MIMII should tell you

BOTHI should tellWell, here we goNow we-

MIMIOh no

ROGERI know this something isHere goes

MIMIHere goes

ROGERGuess soIt's starting toWho knows?

MIMIWho knows

BOTHWho knows whereWho goes thereWho knowsHere goes

Trusting desire starting to learnWalking through fire without a burnClinging a shoulder, a leap beginsStinging and older, asleep on pinsSo here we goNow we

ROGEROh no

MIMII know

ROGEROh no

BOTHWho knows where who goes thereHere goes here goesHere goes here goesHere goes here goes

LA VIE BOHEME B

(ROGER and MIMI exit. JOANNE reenters, obviously steamed)

MAUREENAre we packed?

JOANNEYes and by next weekI want you to be

MAUREENPookie?

JOANNEAnd you should seeThey've padlocked your buildingAnd they're rioting on Avenue BBenny called the cops

MAUREENThat fuck

JOANNEThey don't know what they're doingThe cops are sweeping the lotBut no one's leavingThey're just sitting there, mooing!

ALLYeah!!!(Pandemonium erupts in the restaurant)To dance

A GIRLNo way to make a living, masochism, pain, perfectionMuscle spasms, chiropractors, short careers, eating disorders

ALLFilm

MARKAdventure, tedium, no family, boring locations,Dark rooms, perfect faces, egos, money, Hollywood and sleaze

ALLMusic

ANGELFood of love, emotion, mathematics, isolation,Rhythm, feeling, power, harmony, and heavy competition

ALLAnarchy

COLLINS & MAUREENRevolution, justice, screaming for solutions,Forcing changes, risk, and dangerMaking noise and making pleas

ALLTo faggots, lezzies, dykes, cross dressers too

MAUREENTo me

MARKTo me

COLLINS & ANGELTo me

ALLTo you, and you and you, you and youTo people living with, living with, living withNot dying from diseaseLet he among us without sinBe the first to condemnLa vie BohemeLa vie BohemeLa vie Boheme

MARKAnyone out of the mainstreamIs anyone in the mainstream?Anyone alivewith a sex drive

OTHERSLa vie bohemeLa vie bohemeLa vie boheme

MARKTear down the wallAren't we all?The opposite of war isn't peaceIt's creation

ALLLa vie Boheme

MARKThe riot continues. The Christmas tree goes up in flames. The snow dances.Oblivious, Mimi and Roger share a small, lovely kiss

ALLViva la vie Boheme

Act II

(The COMPANY enters from all directions and forms a line across thefront of the stage)

SEASONS OF LOVE

COMPANYFive hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutesFive hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred moments so dearFive hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutesHow do you measure - measure a year?

In daylights - In sunsetsIn midnights - In cups of coffeeIn inches - In milesIn laughter - In strife

In Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutesHow do you measure a year in the life?

How about love?How about love?How about love?Measure in love

Seasons of loveSeasons of love

SOLOIST #1Five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutesFive hundred twenty-five thousandJourneys to planFive hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutesHow do you measure the lifeOf a woman or a man?

SOLOIST #2In truths that she learnedOr in times that he criedIn bridges he burnedOr the way that she died

ALLIt's time now - to sing outTho' the story never endsLet's celebrate

Remember a year in the life of friends

Remember the loveRemember the loveRemember the loveMeasure in love

SOLOIST #1Measure, measure your life in love

Seasons of loveSeasons of love

HAPPY NEW YEAR

(New Year's Eve. The scene opens on the street outside the apartment.one table, lying on its end, serves as the door)

MARK (carrying mock door)Pan to the padlocked door. New Year's Rocking Eve. Thebreaking-back-into-the-building party

(ROGER and MIMI try in vain to pry a padlock from the door. Theyappear to be happy)

MIMIHow long till next year?

ROGERThree and half minutes

MIMII'm giving up my vicesI'm going back - back to schoolEviction or notThis week's been so hotThat long as I've got youI know I'll be cool

I couldn't crack the love code, dear'Til you made the lock on my heart explodeIt's gonna be a happy new yearA happy new year

(MARK enters the scene)

MARK

Coast is clearYou're supposed to be workingThat's for midnightWhere are they?There isn't much time

MIMIMaybe they're dressingI mean what does one wear that's aproposFor a party that's also a crime

(MAUREEN enters wearing a skintight "cat burgualr" suit and carryinga bag of potato chips)

MAUREENChips, anyone?

MARKYou can take the girl out of HicksvilleBut you can't take the Hicksville out of the girl

MAUREENMy riot got you on TVI deserve a royalty

MIMIBe nice you twoOr no god awful champagne

(MAUREEN takes out a cellular phone and dials)

MAUREENDon't mind if I doNo luck?

ROGERBolted plywood, padlocked with a chainA total dead end

MAUREENJust like my ex-girlfriend(on cellular phone)Honey...?I know you're therePlease pick up the phoneAre you okay?It's not funnyIt's not fairHow can I atone?

Are you okay?I lose controlBut I can learn to behaveGive me one more chanceLet me be your slave

I'll kiss your Doc MartensLet me kiss your Doc MartensYour every wish I will obey

(JOANNE enters)

JOANNEThat might be okayDown girlHeel...stayI did a bit of researchWith my friends at legal aidTechnically, you're squattersThere's hopeBut just in case(JOANNE whips out)

MARK & JOANNERope

MARK (pointing off)We can hoist a line-

JOANNETo the fire escape

MARKAnd tie off at

MARK & JOANNEThat bench

MAUREENI can't take them as chums

JOANNEStart hoisting...wench

(All three cross upstage and attempt to throw up the length of rope overa plank. ROGER and MIMI are laughing and holding each other)

ROGERI think I should be laughing

Yet I forgetForget how to beginI'm feeling something insideAnd yet I still can't decideIf I should hideOr make a wide open grinLast week I wanted just to disappearMy life was dustBut now it just may be a happy new yearA happy new year

(COLLINS enters with ANGEL. COLLINS, dressed in black and wearingsunglasses, carries a bottle of champagne. ANGEL wears a plastic dressand blonde wig: a small blowtorch is slung over his shoulder)

COLLINSBond - James Bond

ANGELAnd Pussy Galore - in person

MIMIPussy you came prepared

ANGELI was a boy scout onceAnd a brownie'Til some brat got scared

COLLINS (to MIMI)Aha! Moneypenny -- my martini!

MIMIWill bad champagne do?

ROGERThat's shaken - not stirred

COLLINSPussy - the bolts

(COLLINS takes a swig of champagne as ANGEL grabs the blowtorch)

ANGELJust say the word!

(ANGEL turns on the blowtorch)

MIMI

Two minutes left to execute our plan

COLLINSWhere's everyone else?

ROGERPlaying Spiderman

MARKIronic close up: tightOn the phone machine's red lightOnce the Boho boys are goneThe power mysteriously comes on

VOICE MAIL #3

(Lights up on MRS. COHEN, who's standing on a chair and holding up aphone)

MRS. COHENMark, it's the wicked witch of the west your motherHappy new year from ScarsdaleWe're all impressed that the riot footageMade the nightly newsEven your father says MazeltovHoney- call himLove, Mom

(MRS. COHEN, stepping off the chair, passes the phone to ALEXIDARLING)

ALEXI DARLING (on the chair)Mark CohenAlexi Darling from Buzzline

MARKOh, that show's so sleazy

ALEXI DARLINGYour footage on the riots: A-oneFeature segment network dealtimeI'm sending you a contractKer-ching ker-chingMarky give us a call 970-4301Or at home try 863-6754Or - my cell phone at 919-763-0090Or - you can e-mail me

At Darling Alexi Newscom dot netOr -- you can page me at-(Beeeep!)

HAPPY NEW YEAR B

MAUREENI think we need an agent

MARKWe?

JOANNEThat's selling out

MARKBut it's nice to dream

MAUREENYeah it's network TVAnd it's all thanks to me

MARKSomehow I think I smellThe whiff of a scheme

JOANNEMe too

MAUREENWe can plan another protest

JOANNEWe?

MAUREENThis time you can shoot from the start (to MARK)You'll direct (to JOANNE)Starring me

(Lights shift back to downstairs)

ALL5, 4, 3... Open sesame!!(The door falls away, revealing MARK, JOANNE, and MAUREEN)Happy new yearHappy new year

Happy new...

BENNY (entering)I see that you've beaten me to the punch

ROGERHow did you know we'd be here?

BENNYI had a hunch

MARKYou're not mad?

BENNYI'm here to end this warIt's a shame you went and destroyed the door

MIMIWhy all the sudden the big about face

BENNYThe credit is yoursYou made a good case

ROGERWhat case?

BENNYMimi came to see meAnd she had much to say

MIMIThat's not how you put it at all yesterday

BENNYI couldn't stop thinking about the whole messMark you want to get this on film

MARK (picking up his camera)I guess

BENNYI regret the unlucky circumstancesOf the past seven days

ROGERCircumstance? You padlocked our door

BENNYAnd it's with great pleasureOn behalf of CyberArtsThat I hand you this key(BENNY hands him the key)

ANGELGolf claps(They oblige)

MARKI have no juice in my battery

BENNYReshoot

ROGERI see this is a photo opportunity

MAUREENThe benevolent godUshers the poor artists back to their flatWere you planning on taking down the barbed wireFrom the lot, too?

ROGERAnything but that

BENNYClearing the lot was a safety concernWe break ground this monthBut you can return

MAUREENThat's why you're here with people you hateInstead of with Muffy at Muffy's estate

BENNYI'd honestly rather be with you tonight than in Westport

ROGERSpare us old sport, the soundbite

BENNYMimi since your was are so seductive

MIMIYou came on to me

BENNYPersuade him not to be so counterproductive

ROGERLiar

BENNYWhy not tell them what you wore to my place?

MIMII was on my way to work

BENNYBlack leather and laceMy desk was a messI think I'm still sore

MIMICause I kicked him and told him I wasn't his whore

BENNYDoes your boyfriend knowWho your last boyfriend was?

ROGERI'm not her boyfriendI don't care what she does

ANGELPeople! Is this any way to start a new year?Have compassionBenny just lost his cat

BENNYMy dog- but I appreciate that

ANGELMy cat had a fallAnd I went through hell

BENNYIt's like losing aHow did you know that she fell?

COLLINS(Hands BENNY a glass of champagne)Champagne?

BENNY

Don't mind if I doTo dogs!

ALL BUT BENNYNo, Benny- To you!

ANGELLet's make a resolution

MIMII'll drink to that

COLLINSLet's always stay friends

JOANNETho' we may have our disputes

MAUREENThis family tree's got deep roots

MARKFriendship is thicker than blood

ROGERThat depends

MIMIDepends on trust

ROGERDepends on true devotion

JOANNEDepends on love

MARK (to ROGER)Depends on not denying emotion

ROGERPerhaps

ALLIt's gonna be a happy new year

ROGERI guess

ALL

It's gonna be a happy new year

ROGERYou're right

(ANGEL brings ROGER and MIMI together. ANGEL and others moveaway from MIMI and ROGER)

ANGELIt's gonna be a happy new year

ROGER & MIMII'm sorry

ROGERComing?

MIMIIn a minute I'm fine go

(ROGER kisses MIMI and exits. THE MAN appears)

THE MANWell, well, well. What have we here?(He walks over to MIMI and holds out a small plastic bag of whitepowder)It's gonna be a happy new yearThere, there...etc.

(Fade out)

TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME (Any location and Joanne's loft)

MARKValentine's Day.Pan across the empty lot. Roger's down at Mimi's, wherehe's been for almost two months now - although he keeps talking aboutselling his guitar and heading out of town...Still jealous of Benny... God knowswhere Collins and Angel are...Could be that new Shanty Town near the riveror a suite at the Plaza...Maureen and Joanne are rehearsing...JOANNEI said once more from the top

MAUREENI said NO!

MARKThat is, if they're speaking this week. Me? I'm here. Nowhere

(Lights up on the scene)

JOANNEThe line is 'Cyber Arts and its corporate sponsor, Grey Communications,would like to mitigate the Christmas Eve riots.' What is so difficult...?

MAUREENIt just doesn't roll off my tongue. I like my version.!

JOANNEYou - dressed as a ground hog. To protest the ground breaking!

MAUREENIt's a METAPHOR!

JOANNEWell, it's less than brilliant!

MAUREENThat's it, Ms. Ivy League!

JOANNEWhat?

MAUREENEver since New Year's, I haven't said boo. I let you direct, I didn't pierce mynipples because it grossed you out! I didn't sta and dance at the Clit Club thatnight, 'cause you wanted to go home

JOANNEYou were flirting with the woman in rubber

MAUREENThat's what this is about!? There will always be women in rubber, flirting withme... Gimme a break

Every single dayI walk down the streetI hear people say,"Baby's so sweet"Ever since pubertyEverybody stares at meBoys - girlsI can't can't help it babySo be kindDon't lose your mind

Just remember that I'm your baby

Take me for what I amWho I was meant to beAnd if you give a damnTake me baby or leave meTake me baby or leave me

A tiger in a cageCan never see the sunThis diva needs her stageBaby - let's have fun!You are the one I chooseFolks'd kill to fill your shoesYou love the limelight too, babySo be mineOr don't waste my timeCryin' -- "Honeybear -- are you still my baby?"

Take me for what I amWho I was meant to beAnd if you give a damnTake me baby or leave me

No way can I be what I'm notBut hey don't you want your girl hot!Don't fight don't lose your headCause every night who's in your bed?Who's in your bed, baby?(Pouts in JOANNE's direction)Kiss, Pookie

JOANNEIt won't workI look before I leapI love margins and disciplineI make lists in my sleepBaby what's my sin?Never quit I follow throughI hate mess but I love youWhat to doWith my impromptu baby?So be wiseThis girl satisfiesYou've got a prizeBut don't compromise