Redemption for Rejection Presentedby Martin E. Mallory (II Samuel 9:1-13)

Redemption for RejectionRedemption for Rejection

PresentedPresented

byby

Martin E. MalloryMartin E. Mallory(II Samuel 9:1-13)(II Samuel 9:1-13)

DefinitionDefinition

To refuse to acknowledge or accept.To refuse to acknowledge or accept. To forsake.To forsake. To refuse to have or use.To refuse to have or use. To throw away as useless, To throw away as useless,

unsatisfactory, or worthless.unsatisfactory, or worthless. To discard as unwanted or not To discard as unwanted or not

fulfilling requirements.fulfilling requirements. To refuse to love.To refuse to love.

Mephibosheth:Mephibosheth: One man’s experience of One man’s experience of rejection and restoration.rejection and restoration.

2 Samuel, 4:4; 9:1-13.2 Samuel, 4:4; 9:1-13. As a child, father (Jonathan) and As a child, father (Jonathan) and

grandfather (Saul) killed in battle.grandfather (Saul) killed in battle. In escape attempt, fell and was crippled.In escape attempt, fell and was crippled. Perceived “rejection” from missing father.Perceived “rejection” from missing father. Deformity causes peer rejection. Results Deformity causes peer rejection. Results

in self-rejection, identity distortions, etc.in self-rejection, identity distortions, etc. Name in Hebrew is thought to mean “From Name in Hebrew is thought to mean “From

the mouth of the shameful thing”.the mouth of the shameful thing”.


Note his response to David’s desire Note his response to David’s desire to honor him. to honor him. ““What is your servant that you should What is your servant that you should

notice a dead dog like me?”notice a dead dog like me?” King David’s action was restorative King David’s action was restorative

and though the disability may have and though the disability may have never been cured, it was covered by never been cured, it was covered by the provision of the King’s table.the provision of the King’s table.

Psalm 23:5 Psalm 23:5

“ “You prepare a table before You prepare a table before me in the presence of my me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my enemies. You anoint my head with oil, my cup head with oil, my cup overflows.”overflows.”


Rejection will prevent us from sitting at Rejection will prevent us from sitting at the table to commune with the Lord.the table to commune with the Lord.

The King shows covenantal love. The King shows covenantal love. (1Sam.20)(1Sam.20)

The King restores what has been taken.The King restores what has been taken. The provision of the King’s table (“The provision of the King’s table (“like like

one of the King’s sons”one of the King’s sons” – vs. 11) covers – vs. 11) covers rejection.rejection.

Rejection Affects The Whole Rejection Affects The Whole PersonPerson

SpiritSpirit Proverbs 18:14 - “A man’s spirit sustains Proverbs 18:14 - “A man’s spirit sustains

him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who him in sickness, but a crushed spirit who can bear?”can bear?”

Soul Soul The mind, will, and emotions.The mind, will, and emotions.

BodyBody Often based on dislike of body or body Often based on dislike of body or body

partpart Often affects bodily healthOften affects bodily health

The Source of RejectionThe Source of Rejection

The source is not the same as the root.The source is not the same as the root. For a root to grow, there must be something For a root to grow, there must be something

planted in the soil; a seed of sorts.planted in the soil; a seed of sorts. The Garden, the Enemy, the ChoiceThe Garden, the Enemy, the Choice

Garden was perfectGarden was perfect Enemy said there was moreEnemy said there was more Adam and Eve disobeyed, rebelled and Adam and Eve disobeyed, rebelled and

(therefore) rejected God.(therefore) rejected God. Innocence was replaced with shame.Innocence was replaced with shame.

The Roots of RejectionThe Roots of Rejection

Matthew 3:10 -Matthew 3:10 -

““The ax is already at the root The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.”thrown into the fire.”


Importance of working one’s way Importance of working one’s way from the fruit, down the from the fruit, down the branches, down the trunk of one’s branches, down the trunk of one’s problems to discover the roots.problems to discover the roots.

This is below ground, invisible, This is below ground, invisible, yet is the anchor point. From yet is the anchor point. From here the tree can be cut down. here the tree can be cut down.

““No weed, no root, no No weed, no root, no problem.”problem.”


Amos 2:9 -Amos 2:9 -

““I destroyed the Amorite I destroyed the Amorite before them, though he was before them, though he was tall as the cedars and strong tall as the cedars and strong as the oaks. I destroyed his as the oaks. I destroyed his fruit above and his roots fruit above and his roots below.”below.”


Can begin before birthCan begin before birth


Consider the following from Consider the following from The Secret The Secret Life of the Unborn ChildLife of the Unborn Child, , (Verney and Kelly)(Verney and Kelly)

““We now know that the unborn child We now know that the unborn child is an aware, reacting human being is an aware, reacting human being who from the sixth month on (and who from the sixth month on (and perhaps earlier) leads an active perhaps earlier) leads an active emotional life.emotional life.

The Roots of RejectionThe Roots of Rejection Along with this startling find we Along with this startling find we

have made these discoveries:have made these discoveries:

a.a. The fetus can see, hear, The fetus can see, hear, experience, taste and, at a experience, taste and, at a primitive level, even learn in utero. primitive level, even learn in utero. Most importantly he can feel - not Most importantly he can feel - not with an adult’s sophistication, but with an adult’s sophistication, but feel nonetheless.feel nonetheless.


b.b. Moreover, what a child feels and Moreover, what a child feels and perceives begins shaping his perceives begins shaping his attitudes and expectations about attitudes and expectations about himself. Whether he ultimately sees himself. Whether he ultimately sees himself (and hence acts) as a happy himself (and hence acts) as a happy or sad, aggressive or meek, secure or sad, aggressive or meek, secure or anxiety ridden person depends in or anxiety ridden person depends in part on the messages he gets about part on the messages he gets about himself in the womb!”himself in the womb!”

The Fruit of RejectionThe Fruit of Rejection

Two manifestations of the reaction Two manifestations of the reaction to rejection:to rejection:

1. 1. Outwardly, visible, external.Outwardly, visible, external. Over emotionalOver emotional Overbearing behaviorOverbearing behavior Aggressive in attitude. - defends by Aggressive in attitude. - defends by

attacking others.attacking others.


Two manifestations of the reaction to Two manifestations of the reaction to rejection:rejection:

2. Hidden or internal2. Hidden or internal Controlled suppression of emotionsControlled suppression of emotions Escape into themselvesEscape into themselves Don’t cope well with realityDon’t cope well with reality Easier to hide and not communicate Easier to hide and not communicate

honestlyhonestly


Also can be seen in primary versus Also can be seen in primary versus secondary responses:secondary responses:

1. Primary 1. Primary Inability to receive loveInability to receive love Inability to communicate or give loveInability to communicate or give love

““We love because he first loved us”. We love because he first loved us”. - 1 John 4:19- 1 John 4:19



2. Secondary2. Secondary Those who give in.Those who give in. Those who hold out.Those who hold out. Those who fight back.Those who fight back.



2. Secondary2. Secondary Those who give in.Those who give in.

Believe there is nothing they can do.Believe there is nothing they can do. Leads to spiraling of negative emotions Leads to spiraling of negative emotions

ending in desire for and inflicting of death.ending in desire for and inflicting of death. Self-destructive or risky behaviors.Self-destructive or risky behaviors. They have an inner desire to die.They have an inner desire to die.



2. Secondary2. Secondary Those who hold out.Those who hold out.

Build up a defense which is really a Build up a defense which is really a facade that covers the person’s struggle.facade that covers the person’s struggle.

May appear very strong.May appear very strong. Develops a superficial happiness.Develops a superficial happiness.

The Fruit of RejectionThe Fruit of RejectionAlso can be seen in primary versus secondary Also can be seen in primary versus secondary

responses:responses:2. Secondary2. Secondary

Those who fight back.Those who fight back. Fights everything - oppositional.Fights everything - oppositional. Reactions to rejection begin with resentment, Reactions to rejection begin with resentment,

then hatred and finally rebellion. then hatred and finally rebellion. (See 1 Samuel (See 1 Samuel 15:23)15:23)

Need for controlNeed for control Engages in self-injuryEngages in self-injury Characterized by deep shame.Characterized by deep shame.

Jesus and RejectionJesus and Rejection

His birth and early life.His birth and early life. Emotional implications for Mary.Emotional implications for Mary. Gossip, scandal and rumorGossip, scandal and rumor No room in the Inn - Born in a stable No room in the Inn - Born in a stable

among animals.among animals.

His period of ministryHis period of ministry Wherever he went during 3 1/2 years of Wherever he went during 3 1/2 years of

ministry there was plenty of rejection.ministry there was plenty of rejection.


His own people.His own people. In his hometown, people tried to throw him In his hometown, people tried to throw him

off a cliff in response to his teaching. off a cliff in response to his teaching. (Luke 4:28-30)(Luke 4:28-30)

Name “Samaritan” was a great insult to a Name “Samaritan” was a great insult to a Jew. Jew. (John 8:48)(John 8:48)

More than once he was accused of having a More than once he was accused of having a demon. demon. (John 7:20)(John 7:20)

He was judged for being with sinners (others He was judged for being with sinners (others that were also rejected).that were also rejected).

Mocked and insulted during the crucifixion. Mocked and insulted during the crucifixion. (Matt. 27:39)(Matt. 27:39)


““He was in the world, and He was in the world, and though the world was made though the world was made through him, the world did not through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but that which was his own, but his own did not receive him.”his own did not receive him.”

- John 1:10-11- John 1:10-11


The LeadersThe Leaders From the beginning they rejected him From the beginning they rejected him

because they saw he had authority and because they saw he had authority and power. power. (Luke 4:36)(Luke 4:36)

Claimed he was a blasphemer Claimed he was a blasphemer (Mark 2:6)(Mark 2:6)

Plotted to kill him Plotted to kill him (Mark 3:6)(Mark 3:6)

Announced he was demonized Announced he was demonized (Mark 3:22)(Mark 3:22)

Condemned because his disciples ate Condemned because his disciples ate the wrong food the wrong food (Mark 7:5)(Mark 7:5)


The LeadersThe Leaders Pushed him to prove himselfPushed him to prove himself (Mark 8:11)(Mark 8:11)

Authority questioned Authority questioned (Mark 11:28)(Mark 11:28)

Falsely accused Falsely accused (Mark 14:55-59)(Mark 14:55-59)

His FamilyHis Family Wanted to take charge of him Wanted to take charge of him

because they thought he was out of because they thought he was out of his mind his mind (Mark 3:21)(Mark 3:21)

Did not believe him Did not believe him (John 7:5)(John 7:5)


His Disciples and FriendsHis Disciples and Friends Even after 3 years with Jesus, none Even after 3 years with Jesus, none

were with him in the end.were with him in the end. Many turned and no longer followed Many turned and no longer followed

(John 6:66)(John 6:66)

Was betrayed by one Was betrayed by one (Luke 22:3-7;47-48)(Luke 22:3-7;47-48)

Even Peter denied him Even Peter denied him (Luke 22:23)(Luke 22:23)

At the worst time in his life, his At the worst time in his life, his disciples simply fell asleep disciples simply fell asleep (Mark 14:37-41)(Mark 14:37-41)


His Own WordsHis Own Words Repeatedly told of his coming Repeatedly told of his coming

rejection and death rejection and death (Luke 9:22; 9:44; 17:25; 18:32)(Luke 9:22; 9:44; 17:25; 18:32)

His friends were slow to His friends were slow to understand. Not until after the understand. Not until after the resurrection did they remember his resurrection did they remember his words words (Luke 24:8)(Luke 24:8)


His Greatest RejectionHis Greatest Rejection Nothing can compare to the Nothing can compare to the

crucifixion.crucifixion. Jesus had to deal with the spiritual Jesus had to deal with the spiritual

side as well. Took on our sin and side as well. Took on our sin and experienced rejection of the experienced rejection of the Father.Father.


The ResultThe Result Jesus’ “divine exchange” means Jesus’ “divine exchange” means

that instead of being and feeling that instead of being and feeling rejected, we can receive healing, rejected, we can receive healing, acceptance, affirmation, adoption, acceptance, affirmation, adoption, love, security, etc.love, security, etc.

“ “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will - to the praise of his pleasure and will - to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding” with all wisdom and understanding” - Ephesians - Ephesians 1:3-71:3-7

Healing From RejectionHealing From Rejection

1. 1. An Honest AppraisalAn Honest Appraisal Call it what it is - rejection. This can Call it what it is - rejection. This can

be painful to do since avoidance feels be painful to do since avoidance feels like insulation from the reality.like insulation from the reality.

Take responsibility for your behavior.Take responsibility for your behavior. Assess the fruit and discover the rootAssess the fruit and discover the root


2. Repent2. Repent For sinning against ourselves, others For sinning against ourselves, others

and God.and God. Note that the evil done against us is Note that the evil done against us is

often not our biggest problem. Its often not our biggest problem. Its our reactionour reaction to that evil. to that evil.

This includes wrong attitudes as well This includes wrong attitudes as well as actions.as actions.


3. Forgive3. Forgive If you have been rejected, there will If you have been rejected, there will

undoubtedly be someone who has hurt undoubtedly be someone who has hurt you that you will need to forgive. Can you that you will need to forgive. Can include yourself or God.include yourself or God.

Failure to forgive is one of the most Failure to forgive is one of the most common barriers to receiving God’s common barriers to receiving God’s blessing.blessing.

It is not the one who is resented who It is not the one who is resented who suffers the most. It is the one who suffers the most. It is the one who resents.resents.

We cannot afford not to We cannot afford not to forgive!forgive!

““The one who pursues The one who pursues revenge should dig two revenge should dig two graves”graves”

--Chinese Proverb--Chinese Proverb ““The bitter heart eats its The bitter heart eats its owner.” owner.”

--Bantu Proverb--Bantu Proverb

““Everyone says Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have idea, until they have someone to forgive.”someone to forgive.”

- C.S. Lewis- C.S. Lewis

Healing From RejectionHealing From Rejection3. Forgive3. Forgive

Key Scripture story is the parable of the Key Scripture story is the parable of the unmerciful servant unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35)(Matthew 18:21-35)

God was under no obligation to forgive us, God was under no obligation to forgive us, yet He did. Our pattern is to be the same.yet He did. Our pattern is to be the same.

Jesus is the pattern. Jesus is the pattern. “ “Because Christ suffered for you, leaving you Because Christ suffered for you, leaving you

an example, that you should follow in His an example, that you should follow in His steps” (1 Peter 2:21)steps” (1 Peter 2:21)

““Father forgive them, for they do not know Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)what they are doing. (Luke 23:34)


Note: Un-forgiveness imprisons Note: Un-forgiveness imprisons the one who will not forgive. the one who will not forgive. They are held captive. Those They are held captive. Those in captivity are subject to in captivity are subject to torture and torment. Un-torture and torment. Un-forgiveness can create an forgiveness can create an entrance for demonic powers.entrance for demonic powers.

The offended person is emotionally and The offended person is emotionally and spiritually BOUND to the offender by spiritually BOUND to the offender by unforgiveness. Such a grudge sustains the unforgiveness. Such a grudge sustains the hurt the offended person feels.hurt the offended person feels.

This bondage can never be broken (no This bondage can never be broken (no matter how much distance is put between matter how much distance is put between them) except by forgiveness. The offender them) except by forgiveness. The offender should ask to be forgiven, but he may never should ask to be forgiven, but he may never do so. Consequently, the offended must do so. Consequently, the offended must initiate forgiveness.initiate forgiveness.


4. Make a conscious decision to rid 4. Make a conscious decision to rid yourself of the bad fruit that yourself of the bad fruit that rejection has produced.rejection has produced. Some change may occur as a result of Some change may occur as a result of

forgiving.forgiving. Some may require systematic behavior Some may require systematic behavior

modification and renewal of the mind.modification and renewal of the mind. All will need the power of the Holy All will need the power of the Holy

Spirit to be fully accomplished.Spirit to be fully accomplished.

Healing From RejectionHealing From Rejection5. Receive and believe what God has 5. Receive and believe what God has

already done for you.already done for you. Recall Ephesians 1. Recall Ephesians 1. “In love he predestined us “In love he predestined us

to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will... In him we accordance with his pleasure and will... In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us…”that he lavished on us…”

God’s purpose from eternity has been to God’s purpose from eternity has been to make us His children. The truth is, make us His children. The truth is, through Jesus, God has already accepted through Jesus, God has already accepted you.you.


6. Accept yourself6. Accept yourself

““The greatest trap in The greatest trap in our life is not our life is not success, popularity success, popularity or power, but self-or power, but self-rejection...rejection...Self-Self-rejection is the rejection is the greatest enemy of greatest enemy of the spiritual life the spiritual life because it because it contradicts the contradicts the sacred voice that sacred voice that calls us the calls us the ‘Beloved.’”‘Beloved.’”

--Henri --Henri NouwenNouwen

““The greatest trap in The greatest trap in our life is not our life is not success, popularity success, popularity or power, but self-or power, but self-rejection...rejection...Self-Self-rejection is the rejection is the greatest enemy of greatest enemy of the spiritual life the spiritual life because it because it contradicts the contradicts the sacred voice that sacred voice that calls us the calls us the ‘Beloved.’”‘Beloved.’”

--Henri --Henri NouwenNouwen


6. Accept yourself6. Accept yourself Put an end to self-criticism and belittling self.Put an end to self-criticism and belittling self. Remember you did not make yourself, God Remember you did not make yourself, God

made you.made you. Ephesians 2:10 -”We are God’s Ephesians 2:10 -”We are God’s

workmanshipworkmanship.” The word workmanship is .” The word workmanship is the Greek word the Greek word poiema, poiema, from which we get from which we get the word poem. It suggest artistic the word poem. It suggest artistic achievement. We are God’s masterpieces.achievement. We are God’s masterpieces.


6. Accept yourself6. Accept yourself You can no longer evaluate yourself You can no longer evaluate yourself

based on your life before Christ. based on your life before Christ. ““Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a

new creation, the old has gone, the new creation, the old has gone, the new has come” - 2 Corinthians 5:17.new has come” - 2 Corinthians 5:17.

This step requires the overwriting This step requires the overwriting of the old patterns of self-talk.of the old patterns of self-talk.

One Of Our Greatest NeedsOne Of Our Greatest Needs

To be fully known… and loved To be fully known… and loved unconditionally anyway.unconditionally anyway.

““But God demonstrates his own love But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans (Romans 5:8)5:8)

PRAYER FOR RELEASEPRAYER FOR RELEASE

Lord Jesus Christ, I believe that Lord Jesus Christ, I believe that you are the Son of God and the you are the Son of God and the only way to God. You died on only way to God. You died on the cross for my sin and you rose the cross for my sin and you rose again from the dead. I repent of again from the dead. I repent of my sin and forgive every other my sin and forgive every other person, as I know you have person, as I know you have forgiven me. I forgive all those forgiven me. I forgive all those who have rejected me, hurt me, who have rejected me, hurt me, and failed to show me love and I and failed to show me love and I trust you Lord to forgive me.trust you Lord to forgive me.

I believe that you do accept me. I believe that you do accept me. Because of the work accomplished Because of the work accomplished on the cross, I am accepted. I am on the cross, I am accepted. I am highly favored. I am the object of highly favored. I am the object of your love and care. You want me. your love and care. You want me. Your father is my father. Heaven Your father is my father. Heaven is my home. I am a member of the is my home. I am a member of the family of God. I am accepted.family of God. I am accepted.

I accept myself the way you I accept myself the way you made me. I am your made me. I am your workmanship and I thank you workmanship and I thank you for what you have done. I for what you have done. I believe you have begun a believe you have begun a good work in me and you will good work in me and you will carry it on to completion.carry it on to completion.

Now Lord, I proclaim my Now Lord, I proclaim my release from any dark, evil release from any dark, evil spirit that has taken spirit that has taken advantage of the wounds in advantage of the wounds in my life. I release my spirit to my life. I release my spirit to rejoice in you. In Jesus rejoice in you. In Jesus name, Amen.name, Amen.


Final Notes:Final Notes: Emotional healing is like a ladder, not Emotional healing is like a ladder, not

a single rung. It’s a process, rarely a a single rung. It’s a process, rarely a one-time event.one-time event.

The irony of healing. All wounded-The irony of healing. All wounded-ness happens in the context of ness happens in the context of relationships. All healing happens in relationships. All healing happens in the context of relationships.the context of relationships.

Healing From RejectionHealing From Rejection Ongoing goals:Ongoing goals:

1. 1. The place of scripture. The place of scripture. How we read, and apply scripture is essential to our freedom in How we read, and apply scripture is essential to our freedom in

Christ.Christ.

2. Prayer.2. Prayer. Our days must be filled with communion with God.Our days must be filled with communion with God.

3. Worship3. Worship Individually and collectively.Individually and collectively.

4. Renewal of the mind4. Renewal of the mind Battle is in our thought life and our will.Battle is in our thought life and our will.

5. Positive confession5. Positive confession Not unreality, but our self-talk must be challenged constantly. Edify, Not unreality, but our self-talk must be challenged constantly. Edify,

build up, exhort, stir up, comfort, cheer up. (1 Corinthians 14:3)build up, exhort, stir up, comfort, cheer up. (1 Corinthians 14:3)


6. The Fatherhood of God6. The Fatherhood of God Learn to relate to God as Father.Learn to relate to God as Father.

7. Masculinity - Femininity7. Masculinity - Femininity Key to understanding our identity.Key to understanding our identity.

8. Esteem and confidence8. Esteem and confidence This has been undermined by rejection and will need to be addressed This has been undermined by rejection and will need to be addressed

with a healthy sense of worth.with a healthy sense of worth.

9. The Body of Christ9. The Body of Christ Do not isolate yourselfDo not isolate yourself

10. Submit and resist10. Submit and resist Many resist the enemy, but fail to submit to God (James 4:7). Many resist the enemy, but fail to submit to God (James 4:7).

Understand our authority as believers and submit to God first.Understand our authority as believers and submit to God first.

Redemption for Rejection Presentedby Martin E. Mallory (II Samuel 9:1-13)

Documents

Transcript of Redemption for Rejection Presentedby Martin E. Mallory (II Samuel 9:1-13)