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RED TAPEA refugees struggle forPEACE

t is a Sunday aernoon in Central Austins Ramsey Park, and a reugeenamed Maximilian Ndacayisaba, rom the blood-smeared Arican coun-try o Burundi, is learning about soball. Dressed in black wingtip shoes,argyle socks, neatly pressed khakis and a loud shirt, Max sits on the

bleachers while middle-aged players in ball caps and sweaty - shirts choosesides, then get on with the game.Oh, Smokey, someone says, thats yourpitch, man. Te bat connects with the ball, which sails o with a loud crack.

Max, 31, is barely watching. In 11 months, he knows America, or apiece o it. Hes made donuts at Fiesta. Watched Jerry Springer and Geraldo.Stumbled through more governmental red tape than most U.S. citizens canimagine.

With the stroke o a pen, some immigration ocial decreed that hisboat would drop anchor in Austin. He is a utsi taking a stand against tribalismrom a rented room in this citys suburban south; a world citizen shipwreckedin a place where ew people have bothered to learn to pronounce his amilyname: Da- CHA-ee-sa-BA.

According to the law I am all right, he says. I am not on the street,even though I have no cash in my pocket. I entered (the U.S.) legally. I thereis a mistake in a computer program, they x it, he says, reerring to a bureau-cratic glitch that stopped his Medicaid payments or two monthsbeore reinstating the benets.But in Maxs eyes, he is anything but all right. Separated rompeople he loves, he is unable to make enough money to help themsurvive. In debt with no income, he is oundering in a city wherethere have been genuine attempts to help him.

Having nearly run through the ew resources oeredreugees by the ederal government, Max has seemed at timesparalyzed by depression, culture shock and poor health. In des-peration, hes gone rom church to church. Hes gone head to headwith those whose job it is to advocate or him.

He may be tenacious, stubborn or both. He may expect too much.Or do we? Te United States has its own struggling citizens to worry about. Hisneeds are immense, and he is one reugee among many.

Americans value sel-reliance and will expect you to take the initia-tive in building your lie in the United States. Success in your reset tlementwill depend as much on your attitude and eorts as on the type o help youreceive.--rom Welcome to the United States, a guidebook or reugees.

He comes rom a place where killers sing as they swing machetesat people, hacking them to death in their beds. o Americans who bother tokeep track o international news, the reports o Hutus risen up in revolt againstruling-class utsis have come as distant, i disturbing, bulletins rom a savageland.

o Max, they are images o home.His rst memory o the violence that has torn apart his and neigh-

boring countries or decades. A man who lived next door was killed by a nailhammered into his head with the butt o a gun. Max and his mother watched.Max, the ourth o 12 children, grew up in Giteranyi, then a village in the smallCentral Arican country o Burundi. Bualo, hyenas and lions occasionallyroamed the area until growth in the 1980s drove them deeper into the bush.

Now Maxs house and most o his amily are gone, too, c asualties oa tribal clash that has been going on or decades but intensied in the past ewyears. In 1994 alone, at least 500, 000 utsis and Hutus were killed. Maxs moth-er, ather, grandparents, countless riends -- all dead. His youngest brother, he

phors. Our speech is blunt and precise. In Kirundi, his native language, evena word like wie becomes something lyrical and descriptive, as in the one Iwalk with. Instead o saying I am not optimistic, he notes, one might say,Akaza gusha karatagata. Roughly translated: How quickly water boils de-pends on the contents o the pot, the level o heat. And it is up to the cook togure out what keeps the water rom boiling.

From a yellowed paperback copy o Te Power o Positive Tink-ing, he pulls a letter rom the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.In tiny type, overlaid with the image o the Statue o Libertys torch, the lettersays it will take 86 to 116 days to process his request to visit his wie in Arica,something he has desperately wanted to do since she became ill several monthsago. Aer that interminable wait, the INS will give him an answer.

From a yellowed paperback copy o Te Power o Positive Tink-ing, he pulls a letter rom the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.In tiny type, overlaid with the image o the Statue o Libertys torch, the lettersays it will take 86 to 116 days to process his request to visit his wie in Arica,something he has desperately wanted to do since she became ill several monthsago. Aer that interminable wait, the INS will give him an answer.

In every lie, personal decisions are tempered by external orces.Max has not always made the right decisions, and thewinds bueting his thin, battered hull have at times beencapricious and mean.Aer months o struggling in the United States while his

wies physical and mental health deteriorated in Nairobi,Kenya, Max has reached a point o desperation. He is con-sidering jeopardizing his reugee status in order to returnto her, a plan no one recommends. I he leaves now, with-out proper authorization, the INS could reuse to let himreturn.Whats more, in Kenya, Max could ace violent reper-

cussions rom those who dont approve o his pacist views.Yet MaximilianNdacayisaba is determined to leave this place that cannot help him enoughor another equally uncertain uture. He knows he cannot stop the wind. Heis trying to steer the boat. Te United States is a nation o immigrants whobrought with them a variety o cultural tradi tions and practices. Te process olearning about American behaviors and values and coping with them is part ocultural adjustment. For several months, Max has rented an upstairs bedroomrom a man who lives with his children o Brody Lane in South Austin. A cur-tain hangs o-kilter on an unstable rod at the window. Tere is a twin bed, atelevision, a particle- board table and a wooden desk piled with books coveringreligion, language, Te Evolution o the World, and the lives o Napolean andEleanor Roosevelt.

On a wall hang two rosaries, postcards, snapshots and hand- writtenreminders o appointments. Occasionally, the youngest boy who lives here willcome home rom school and knock on Maxs door, asking to watch cartoons.Or Max, a ormer church choir director and organist, will play hymns on theamilys electronic piano downstairs or exercise in the enced back yard. Butusually, he stays in his room. From this home base in a suburban neighbor-hood, Max still spends most o his time thinking o Arica. Where, in anotherlie, he attended Catholic seminary, taught French and music to disabled chil-dren and the elderly and attended a university. Where he athered one biologi-cal son and acted as ather to his wies son. Where he lived in a reugee campand coped with the brutal deaths o parents, other amily members and riends.

By Julie Bonnin

When you are arefugee youdont have theright to oppose

anything.

Sometimes the stress of refugee life is too much to

all Maxamillion Ndacayisaba can do is close his eyes a

Photography

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Max executing the, new to him, taskof grocery shopping.

rom a Pennsylvania-based Baptist agency that sponsors reugees. Te lettersaid the organization would sponsor Max i he received ocial status as a reu-gee. By the time that happened, he had been assigned to another agency, whichasked an aliate, Austin-based Caritas, to sponsor him. But Max continued tothink he was headed or Pennsylvania, and based on what he had heard aboutchurch-based sponsorship o reugees, he expected to be taken under some-ones wing. Sometimes you nd a amily which has prepared everything oryou, he says, explaining his vision o what lie would be like. Tey were sayingyou will get a amily which will be like your parents.

Coming rom a poor country where others give so reely o them-selves to those in need, he also expected many helping hands in auent Amer-ica.I, in much o Kenya and Burundi, corruption is endemic, the antidote is wide-spread generosity, Max says. When you get something, he explains, you cant

sleep when someone is suering. oday its you, tomorrow it may be me. Dontask, Who are you? I someone asks to eat, give ood now, ask later. But therewas no amily to meet him at the airport when he arrived in Austin nearly ayear ago. Instead, Max was greeted by caseworkers rom Caritas, a caring butoverburdened nonprot group that helps the homeless and also works with150 to 200 reugees annually. Cecily Peeples helps reugees sponsored by Cari-tas receive medical benets. Among those newly arrived immigrants, she says,theres a real misconception. Te streets are not paved in gold. Youre poor,poor, poor until you get on your eet. Degrees rom your home country dontmatter. Getting a job does.

Tere are two ederal programs that provide assistance to reugees.Both are contingent upon nding work immediately.I every reugees earlymonths are dicult, Max had several added problems. Besides his c aseworkerand a ew reugees, he didnt know anyone who could show him around orgive moral support. It took two or three months beore he learned that the

Spanish-speaking people who lived aroundhim in an apartment complex near AirportBoulevard even spoke English. AlthoughMax speaks English, his understanding andpronunciation o the language are limited-- a real stumbling block in a country that

values quick, ecient communication.He came to the United States suer-ing apparent complications rom surgery oran ulcer that an Austin doctor says has beenmade worse by constant stress. And his wie,Hellen, who was well when he le, becameill and was hospitalized a ew months aerhe arrived. o make matters worse, she hasbeen abandoned by amily members whodidnt approve o their marriage, which tookplace days beore Max le or the United

years in the same position. At the same time hewas reacting to the cultural upheaval, Max wasdealing with being apart rom his wie.He had le Kenya believing ocials who told himto just go, thathis wie and her young son would ollow once hecame here. But once here, Max says, he was toldthat getting them here would not be easy, that itwas useless to pursue it until he became a per-manent citizen. (What Max did not know is thata lawsuit settled last year changed the rules aboutreuniting reugees with their amilies. In the past,INS did not allow reugees who married aer be-ing given reugee status to reunite with a spouseuntil the reugee became a permanent citizen. Nowthe application process can began sooner, thoughit still takes six to 12 months.) Max couldnt put his

eelings aside easily. Following the operation hedhad beore coming to the United States -- a proce-dure in which much o his stomach was removed --hed suered on and o rom severe stomach pains,cramping and nausea. In December, his stomachproblems recurred; no ood stayed down. He wentto Brackenridge Hospital or the rst o several vis-

sured to be allied with one political movement or another, even in Kenya. Youwish to greet some Hutus, he explains. In your heart you like them. You wantto live what you eel. I was always praying to God. ake me to live where I eelwhats in my heart. He had also come here hoping to nd solutions to personalproblems.

A nearly 6-year-old child he athered while he was a seminary stu-dent has lived in a Burundi orphanage since his mother died in the war. Maxthinks the boy is better o with Catholic nuns to look aer him than he wouldbe trailing in the uncertainty o his athers lie. Eventually hell return or him,he says, but not now. I am still like in the air. I dont yet eel on the ground. Iam always running, nding a new solution.o rebuild a lie requires pa tience and hard work. Your days will be very busy,but the more ac tive you are, and the more you take responsibility or yourown lie, the more successul you will b e in reset tlement. Since he has been in

America, Max has held assorted jobs, which requently have been cut short byillness, the need to go to doctors appointments or transportation problems.

Max was able to send money to his wie rom January to April. She called andwrote, desperate to hear some news that they would be reunited. Other Ari-cans wrote requesting money. By May, Max wrote a letter to Caritas request-ing help in returning to his wie, who doctors say needs surgery to removea uterine tumor. He believed i he could go there, help her become ociallyclassied as the wie o a reugee (an ocial designation she never receivedbecause they married so soon beore he le), that she eventually would be ableto come to the United States with him. Troughout this period, Max leaned ona variety o churches or moral and nancial help. As always, the connectionshe made were circuitous. During the winter months, he called and wrote to theAmerican wie o an Arican man living in Utah. A Mormon, she arranged orhim to get cold-weather clothes and put him in contact with a local Church oJesus Christ o Latter- Day Saints congregation. Tere he met Dalen Frederick-son, who now says, I know his situation has been a very dicult one. I wish

we could have helped more. In act, the parishioners did a lot. Every month,members ast or a ew meals, then turn over the money they would have spenton ood to a und or those in need. Tey gave Max the asting proceeds sev-eral times. Frederickson invited Max to his home or meals and took him tojob interviews. He heard good reports rom Maxs temporary employers. Butsome job oers ell through, usually because Max didnt eel well enough. Even-tually the relationship with church members ell apart. I think he had goodintentions and high hopes, Frederickson says. I think he came rom a situ-ation where his expectations were very dierent than what he ound. Overthe course o the next ew months, Max continued to go rom one church toanother as he stumbled nancially and emotionally. Again and again, he would

The best treatment is to avoid stress.We take tablets, but that is nothing if we

dont have peace.

requested rom Brackenridge Hospital still had not arrived, making an accu-rate diagnosis and treatment o Maxs problems dicult. Frustrated and angry,he may have alienated some people who would have helped with some o hissmaller problems, people who sympathized with his desire to be reunited withhis wie but discounted it as unrealistic. When you are impatient, Max says,you reject quickly.It was easier to walk away rom those people than to tell them what he thought.You keep your silence, he says, but it is in your heart. In the United States,Max has learned what it means to be beholden. Whenyou are a reugee, he says, you dont have the right tooppose anything. He has also learned the meaning o des-peration: I am between our walls, he says. I dont evenknow how to jump. Resettlement is a long process. Youmay need rom two to ve years to adjust ully to lie inyour new community.

Max is clutching a cup o water, seated on acrushed velvet couch in a church choir practice room

where he is telling his lie story to yet another person, aman who has volunteered to be Maxs riend through a program o St. Cath-erine o Siena Catholic Church. Te other man is leaning orward intently ashe takes notes on a yellow legal pad. As Max talks, his long, thin hands sweepand circle, dominating the space around him. But in repose, he has barely aprole, his body a gaunt imitation o the L-shaped couch. Max makes two im-portant connections in August. He begins attending the Catholic church, thechurch o my childhood, he says. Victor Neshyba o the churchs CommunityMinistries Oce pays a medical bill or Max without having met him and ar-ranges or Max to participate in the Beriender program.Needs will showup, Neshyba says. Just walk in the door. My job is to take care o quick xes.Maxs problems are bigger than that, Neshyba knows. Its gonna take morethan one church throwin in a ew bucks.

Max also begins a relationship with Sacred Hoop Healing Center,which among other things provides holistic health care to indigent people. Hemeets Ryan Rose, a licensed proessional counselor. Rose was struck immedi-ately by how immense his needs were, he says. I saw that we could do somecounseling work, but it just didnt seem adequate. It would take a long time. Itwouldnt change a thing as ar as his wie getting over here. Tis man, Rosenally concluded, needs hope. He doesnt need counseling to near the degreethat he needs hope. Rose also supplies Max with aloe vera juice to ease his

stomach problems. A doctor has prescribed antidepressants and, in Septem-ber, orders more tests to explore the root o Maxs stomach pains. Roses wie,

An eort to raise money by one o Maxs Sacred Hoop suppponed. By the close o September, Max is eeling desperate aHis eligibility or ood stamps has run out; he owes moneyties to his landlord. Now I am at a point where I am ashamEvery month is bringing other bills. I am responsible or mI am responsible or the people I love. How long have I beensince January. I have been saying this and saying this. We areSeptember. When I try to look back, what should I nd? No

been solved, I tell you ... Max likens getting uplace he once thought o as ull o opportunitito conditions in the reugee camp in Arica. second, I wish to go to Kenya.

Reugee Maximilian Ndacayisaba-pproblems, depression and cultur al barriers-sitin room or which he has trouble paying the ryoga a ter getting up in the morning-a orm ocause his health prob lems preclude more stren

and his wie, Hellen, in a wedding day snapshhis wie to America with him, Max is now desperate or ing sun nds Max stretching as part o his yoga routine. Anatural son, Jean-Bertrand, living in an orphanage since hBurundis ghting. Barbara Lightheart says goodbye to Madinner at rinity United Methodist Church, which raisedoperation needed by Maxs wie, Hellen, back in Kenya.

An ex-choir director, Max plays his landlords kspeaks seven languages. Maxs ulcer makes it all the more dright kinds o ood -- one o the routine tasks that complica health reugee. Suering rom stomach problems aer suMax makes a plea about Medicaid coverage to ravis Benopartment o Human Services. Te coverage was restored atwo months.

Max has a blood sample taken at a clinic in Sosurgery that took much o his stomach and le him with problems also has employment implications: Maxs abilityished, and a job could make him ineligible or certain pubrefects in his bedroom aer a phone talk with his wie, whwas a key source o stress until she had surgery or the conMax is considering a trip to Kenya to see her. Max checks o

wie, Hellen, during a phone conversation with her. Te coallows them to talk but rarely.v

You keepyour silence,

but it is inyour heart.

Max having his blood drawn at an Austiwhich is a common occurance due to Ma

Being an ex-choir director, Max fnds solace in playing his landlords keyboard.