Rapport Spring 2007

Feng Shui and NLP- A natural blend

Paula RadcliffeAchieve your goals with the UK’s leading marathon runner

EducationClassroom management with NLP

ISSUE SEVEN SPRING 2007

THE MAGAZINE FOR PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

The SecretIs it really a secret?

No matter what is going on in your life right now,no matter what you have gone through in yourpast, it is possible for you to…

FEEL HAPPY NOW!A one-day seminar with

MICHAEL NEILLPresented by Hay House Publishers

‘Michael Neill is the fi nest success coach in the world today.’ PAUL MCKENNA

In his bestseller You Can Have What You Want, success coach Michael Neill revealed the practical benefi ts of cultivating inner happiness and creating tangible real-world success. Join him for this fun and practical one-day seminar where he reveals the ‘how’ of happiness. Whether you are in search of a quick pick-me-up or a lasting change, Michael will provide you with everything you need to put the power of happiness to work in your own life. You will leave lighter, happier, and able to take effective action in the world from a place of comfort, ease and well-being!

Michael is an internationally-renowned success coach and radio show host. He is a licensed master trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) and has written hundreds of articles in the areas of health, happiness, well-being, money, relationships, and spirituality. His weekly coaching column is syndicated in newspapers and magazines worldwide and can be read on his website at www.geniuscatalyst.com. His newest book, Feel Happy Now!, will be released by Hay House in May 2007.

Saturday 28th April 2007The Jeffrey Hall

Institute of Education20 Bedford Way

LondonWC1H OAL

Ticket price: £75

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020 8962 1230All major credit cards accepted. Tickets are non-refundable and non-exchangeable.

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contents

Welcome to the Spring Issue of Rapport, the magazine for personal development. At this time of year it is so great to see new beginnings with the daffodils in bloom heralding the end to winter. However it is also a fresh start for Rapport with a new editorial team working together to bring you a magazine covering all aspects of personal development, both for our readers who are already working within this area, and also for those who may have a personal interest.

Have you seen “The Secret” or perhaps read about it? Some of us in the Rapport offi ce have and we have our own opinions, so for this issue our Debate panel discusses whether “The Secret” is really a secret?

For many, a goal for 2007 would have been to lead a healthier lifestyle including making healthy food choices. However what happens when our emotions get in the way and that chocolate bar is calling? Read this issue’s health article on how you can “Lighten Your Load with NLP”.

You will fi nd a couple of new sections within Rapport, including our International section, which this issue looks at how Ralph Watson is rebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey. We will also be focusing on Training Schools and Workshops on a regular basis giving you a refl ection on a particular course or training school from a delegate’s point of view. For this issue we feature David Shephard and the team at Performance Partnership.

Finally, here at Rapport we are always keen to hear your feedback and comments about both the magazine and its articles, and also anything you feel that is happening in the self development world that may affect our readers. So we have re-instated our Letters page which gives you the opportunity to tell us what you think.

We will let you go and enjoy the rest of the magazine now.

Until next time.....

Rapport Editorial Team

Publisher: Karen [email protected], 0845 053 1162

Company Reg No. 05390486

Phoenix Publishing Ltd PO Box 3357, EN5 9AJRapport published by Phoenix Publishing on behalf of ANLP.

Printed in the UKDesign: Square Eye Design

Regulars4 LETTERS

6 DEBATEIs The Secret really a secret?

8 WHAT’S NEWThe latest news

12 NLP NEWSWhat’s happening in the NLP community

30 PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENTBranding

40 DIARYThe next 3 month’s events

43 BOOK REVIEWSThe latest books and an invitation

44 AUTHOR INTERVIEWOctavius Black and The Mind Gym

48 REGIONAL GROUPSNLP in Edinburgh

50 ENDNOTENon-consensual Coaching

Features10 NLPLa Rue Eppler reaches deeper wisdom

14 INTERNATIONALRebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey

18 EDUCATIONClassroom management skills with NLP

20 PERSONAL DEVELOPMENTThe End of the Incompetency Attack

38

22

34

rapport - Winter 2006 | 3

44

spring 2007

22 CELEBRITYPaula Radcliffe talks about marathon goal setting

24 BUSINESSResearch indications into NLP Training

25 PROFESSIONALThe New Look ANLP website

26 HEALTHStrategies for year round health and fi tness

26 NLP APPLICATIONSBlending NLP with Feng Shui

34 BUSINESSSonia Saxton on executive coaching

38 TRAININGThe Performance Partnership

14

Editorial Team: Caitlin Collins, Andy Coote, Joanna Goodman, Eve Menezes Cunningham, William Little, Mandy [email protected], 0845 053 1162

Art Editor: Enzo Zanelli

Advertising: David [email protected], 0845 053 1189

Membership, subscriptions and back issues: Lala Ali Khan [email protected], 0845 053 1162

DISCLAIMER The views within this magazine are not necessarily those of the publisher, nor does the publisher endorse the products or services promoted in the magazine. Articles are for information only and intent is to inform. Readers should seek professional advice before adopting any suggestions or purchasing any products herein.

LETTERS

4 | Spring 2007 - rapport

Send your letters to: The Editor, Rapport Magazine,

PO Box 3357, Barnet, EN5 9AJ or email [email protected]

Dear RapportMy daughter is dyslexic and your article in the autumn issue about integrating NLP techniques into the education strategies really struck a chord with me. Currently she is struggling with the school system, the label of being slow is getting her down and I do feel that the “one size fi ts all” attitude of the teachers are not doing her justice. I really wish she had access to teachers and classroom assistants who were emotionally sensitive and willing to look at the individual like Cher Price does. Reading articles like Cher’s, where teachers are encouraged to meet the child half way and actually use their learning methods to improve the experience and effectiveness of education, is great, and highlights the importance of getting people trained in the art of communication into the places where it is needed the most. L.K, London

Dear RapportI’ve really enjoyed reading about

such a wide range of uses for NLP. From the police to NHS as well as private business and getting over trauma, each issue’s sparked off several ideas for my own practice and I look forward to reading the next issue soon. I love the variety in the magazine - keep it up!E.C, Essex

Dear RapportI very much enjoyed reading about Sharon Eden’s Women of Courage programme, featured in the last issue of Rapport.

Having had to deal with my own personal issues over the years, although not perhaps as traumatic as Sharon, I felt empowered by how Sharon had taken these life experiences, a long with her training in CBT and NLP to develop a successful business which has enabled Sharon to help women of all ages to achieve their goals.

Sharon’s passion and gusto in all that she does was very apparent from the article and so I am defi nitely going to use some of the techniques mentioned and

I have already signed up for Sharon’s next event.Thank you Rapport!A.J, Hertfordshire

Dear RapportI found your debate on Pro Bono Coaching (Winter 2006) really interesting. Zoe Windsor claims that most pro bono coaching doesn’t work because 90% of coaches are offering it through lack of confi dence and a fear of charging.

I am sure that, in some instances, that may be the case, and I am wondering how many coaches fi nd it quite a challenge to balance being altruistic, ie ‘helping others’ with ‘being paid’.

Many coaches get drawn to coaching because they have a desire to help other people. However, ‘helping others’ is often perceived to be what ‘charitable’ people do in a voluntary capacity.

Perhaps it is time that coaches and NLP practitioners reframe their view of themselves, and start to value themselves as professionals

in their fi eld, who offer their services to help with challenges in one’s life; in just the same way as a lawyer helps with legal challenges, an accountant helps with tax challenges and a doctor helps with health challenges!!!M.L, Oxford

LETTER OF THE ISSUESend your letter to Rapport for a chance to win a copy of “Niche Marketing for Coaches” (see book reviews on page 43).

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DEBATE


The fi lm ‘The Secret’ (see box) has been spreading across the internet leaving behind it a trail of believers and sceptics.

Rapport takes a look at the subject through the views of four people who are actively involved with NLP as Practitioners or Trainers. Each interview began with the same question - “Is it possible to control our performance and success simply through attracting them towards us (as in “The Secret”) or is there still a need to work towards our goals using other approaches and tools as well?”

“From my spiritual training,” comments Lisa Turner, “I believe in the idea that we are 100% creators of our own universe. Not just infl uencers but creators. This is a model that I fi nd helps when I work with clients. It is neither

true, not is it a lie. It is simply a model. I fi nd that it can give intimate control of your life allowing you to manifest or heal anything in your life.”

“The idea that you get what you focus on has a major impact here”, adds Christine Clacey. “Those who believe in the Law of Attraction often fi nd it works for them. Those who don’t

believe may never see its effects. If you act as if it is true then it will be your reality but results will come only if you take action.”

Diane Corriette fi nds that “you can’t control this process. Control is an illusion. It works best for me when I treat it as a bit of a joke, ask for something I need and then forget about it. If you ask and wait, then it never seems to arrive. It isn’t something that happens in the conscious mind. The more you focus on it, the less it happens.

Michael Beale, is more pragmatic. “For me, the Law of Attraction actually works through much more boring mechanisms. Our behaviours and attitudes naturally attract things towards us. Mental rehearsal is a very good way of preparing for future events. We reduce

Is ‘The Secret’ really a secret?

our fears and uncertainty and we extend our comfort zone so that when the actual event arrives, we appear much more comfortable and our confi dence achieves better results for us”.

Confi dence is just one element as far as Lisa Turner is concerned. Energy is another. “You can have as much money, for example, as you believe you are worth. If you have problems

It has the power to inspire and to create powerful opposition. Andy Coote asks if there is a real secret here, or just well-packaged but well-known principles?

“ I do believe that there is a strong power or energy out there that will support our every need”

with self worth, money may appear in your life - for example through a lottery win - and you may be doing all the right things to get it, but unless your life force energy is suffi cient to maintain it, the money will not stay and you will return to the previous level.” From a spiritual perspective, Lisa believes that “Everything you experience is a projection of the unconscious mind. If you can understand why the unconscious mind is creating situations that look like problems, you can begin to make changes. NLP techniques are very good at helping the practitioner to work with the client’s unconscious mind”.

Michael Beale believes that our own reality is only a part of the mix. “Having great thoughts about the future is fi ne but they may actually be counterproductive. You may sit there waiting for the future to happen and chances may go past you as you wait. We have to be aware of other people’s realities as well as our own. If we don’t we may fi nd that we are increasingly isolated. What we experience comes from outside sources, our imagination and our memory as well as our unconscious. We fi lter everything and it might be said that the unconscious is just another fi lter.” He quotes John Grinder on beliefs, “It may be better not to have beliefs at all, as beliefs are fi lters and fi lters stop what’s coming in from the outside world.”

Some critics highlight the idea, expressed in the fi lm, that we attract both good and bad things towards us. Christine Clacey agrees that

DEBATE

rapport - Spring 2007 | 7

people more on what they want and will thus have a positive impact”. Diane Corriette is less certain. “The secret is that there is no secret. You need to fi nd what works for you. I’m not a believer that one thing works for all or that it always works for any one person. However, I do believe that there is a power or energy out there that will support our every need.” For Lisa Turner, “The Secret takes too much of a conscious mind approach, but this is all about the unconscious. It oversimplifi es the how and oversimplifi es the effect of learnings, experience and karmic purpose”.

So, is The Secret and the Law of Attraction a breakthrough or simply a commercial enterprise that repackages techniques and ideas with which we are already familiar? Can belief turn into reality? Or does it simply help by, as Christine Clacey believes, “making us focus on what we actually want and being clear about that. Most people send out mixed messages to the universe.”

The debate now moves on to the Rapport website. Have your say at: www.anlp.org/forum

The Secret (www.thesecret.tv)The Secret is claimed to have existed throughout the history of humankind. “It has been discovered, coveted, suppressed, hidden, lost and recovered. It has been hunted down, stolen, and bought for vast sums of money. Now for the fi rst time in history, The Secret is being revealed to the world over two breathtaking hours”.

It is based on the premise that we can attract anything we need towards us - the ‘Law of Attraction’. The fi lm claims the Secret was known to Plato, Leonardo, Galileo, Napoleon, Hugo, Beethoven, Lincoln, Edison, Einstein and Carnegie, to name but a few.

It has the power to inspire and to create powerful opposition. So, is there a real secret here, or just well-packaged but well-known principles?

The Participants

Michael BealeNLP Trainer and Coach, PPI Business www.ppimk.com

Christine ClaceyNLP Master Practitioner, Talent4Businesswww.talent4business.com

Diane CorriettePersonal Growth Coach and Master Practitioner of NLP, Inspirational Guidancewww.inspirationalguidance.co.uk

Lisa TurnerNLP Master Practitioner, Time Line Therapy and Hypnosis, Shamanic Healer and Reiki Master, Psycademywww.psycademy.co.uk

we do. “The fi lm implies that what you think about is what you are going to get more of. If you focus on scarcity, then you will get scarcity. The mind cannot hear the negative in your thoughts and interprets what you don’t want as what you do”.

In Lisa Turner’s model of the world, disease and bad experiences may be the result of an early choice. “Some challenges are chosen before we incarnate and sometimes we may decide as we go along. We may decide to do some form of disease in order to gain some kind of learning, experience or evolution. Once the learnings have been made, it is possible to heal it up inside and the disease will disappear whereas for others, the soul’s purpose may be to experience dying as a result and that is something with which to come to terms. This is, I stress, a model, but when we take full responsibility for the things that happen to us, we are much more powerful and have more resources to deal with that situation”

Does “The Secret” work? Christine Clacey believes that for some it does. “I recommend it to all of my clients. I believe it will help to focus

Holistic Local is a new online meeting place created for people who are trying to improve the lives

of others and make the world a better place. Co-founder, Andy Metcalfe told us “Holistic Local is an online business directory and social networking website for anyone who is passionate about living a more conscious life.”

Visit www.holisticlocal.co.uk where you can freely advertise your business services, events and courses as well as network to make new friends and clients.

Ahead of the Game

Ahead of the Game (author feature in Rapport, Winter 2006) is written for sports coaches, athletes and players of all levels

who want to learn some leading edge yet tried and tested techniques and approaches to using your mind more effectively, and helping others to do the same.

Drawing on many of the techniques from NLP, Ahead of the Game takes you through the techniques and approaches step by step, and is full of practical exercises and examples of how these techniques have been used with athletes so that you can adapt the techniques to suit you. The author, Jeremy Lazarus, is an ANLP Accredited Trainer.The book costs £19.99, and is available at a 10% discount (£17.99) for Rapport Readers quoting reference RAPP10.

WHAT’S NEW


Read All About it!

D id you see the centre pages of the Daily Mirror (8th February) or Healthy Magazine

(March) issue? If you did then you would see how ANLP is spreading the word of NLP to a wider audience.

In growing its relationship with the media, ANLP are the fi rst point of call when a journalist is researching more about NLP and its benefi ts in our daily lives as well as within the business world. As a member of ANLP if you have something to say, have a particular case study to share or would like to be considered as a point of contact for future media opportunities then email Mandy at [email protected] with your details.

Change Your World

Your chance to meet Michael Neill

Improved rates on Professional Liability Insurance for Limited Companies

A s you may be aware, ANLP members qualify for discounted rates on

Professional Liability insurance through Towergate Professional Risks.

If you operate as a limited company, we’re pleased to advise that following feedback from ANLP members, Towergate Professional Risks have negotiated with insurers to change the way that insurance for limited companies is rated. For limited companies with between one and fi ve consultants, this will mean a decrease in premiums.

Firms of this size will now be rated as individuals - for example a fi rm with fi ve consultants will now simply pay fi ve times the rate for a sole trader. Firms with over fi ve consultants will continue to be rated as before.

The new rates take effect immediately. If you have already taken out cover, you will benefi t from the new rates at your next renewal. If you don’t currently have cover and your fi rm meets the above criteria then you can contact Towergate for a quotation on 0113 294 4000 (Monday to Friday, 9am - 5pm).

M ichael Neill, author of ‘You Can Have What You Want’ and Be Happy Now’ is holding a practical and fun one day seminar to reveal

the ‘how’ of happiness. The event takes place in Central London on Saturday 28th April. For tickets, contact Hay House publishers on 020 8962 1230.

28th, 29th and 30th April 2007. Regents College, London

Hands-on training and live demonstrations by Tom Silver USA Master Trainer

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NLP NEWS


NLP NEWS

Reaching Deeper WisdomCreating Rapport with your Soul

ANLP’s Director Karen Moxom meets La Rue Eppler, developer of the SoulTalk® Method; Caitlin Collins reports on the encounter

I ’m very fond of the beginning sequence from an old Mr Bean series: it opens with a shot of a city pavement; then a spotlight beams down, and suddenly a man is dropped onto the pavement as though from on

high. He gets to his feet, gives a sort of shudder, pulls himself together, and toddles off into his next chaotic adventure. I think it’s a great depiction of the human condition: it really does seem as though we arrive from who knows where, blunder about more or less blindly for a bit, and then depart for who knows where.

Humans throughout history have sought ways to go beyond the limitations of the usual Mr Bean level of bewilderment. Prayer, meditation, shamanic journeying, trance, pendulums, automatic writing, channelling, psychedelic drugs, tarot cards - all of these have been used in attempts to reach a greater wisdom which, according to one’s preferred frame of reference, can be identifi ed in terms of an outer / inner / all-pervasive source: God or Goddess, various deities, angels, spirits, ancestors,

ascended masters, a collective unconscious, inner wisdom, unconscious mind, buddha-nature, universal wisdom, big mind - and so on. Different people’s experiences are expressed in varying ways via personal and cultural interpretations, and are also likely to have been at least partly conditioned by their own maps of the world and their own perceptual fi lters, but they share some sense of a greater understanding that resonates with a knowing in the heart, a sort of ‘a-ha’ intuitive fl ash of insight. It differs from the building up of intellectual, conceptual knowledge, although it can certainly follow a period of engaging in analytical contemplation; it’s more like rediscovering something already known.

Connecting with a wisdom sourceAmerican personal growth coach La Rue Eppler teaches a practical, simple method for contacting such a deeper wisdom source. Building on the discovery that muscle testing, as in applied kinesiology, can amplify subtle inner messages via the body, La Rue has extended this technique to connecting with the soul (as she calls it) for guidance in what might be termed authentic living.

La Rue’s path to developing her SoulTalk® Method came about following what she describes as a ‘bizarre phenomenon’. She was hearing her home telephone ringing - when she wasn’t at home. When she tried going inside herself and asking what was going on, a little silent inner voice said, “I’ve been calling, and you haven’t answered.” ‘Realising that this message was linked to her hearing the phone ringing, she began exploring other, more convenient ways to allow the guidance of that little inner voice to manifest! In the process

she noticed how when she followed the guidance, her life fl owed easily, and when she didn’t, life was more diffi cult. Subsequently taking her discoveries into her work with clients, La Rue began writing about what she was doing, and so the SoulTalk® Method evolved.

As La Rue explains, we are always receiving answers to our heartfelt questions. We need to learn how to recognise the responses we get, and to trust them. When we refi ne our ability to tune in to the messages, we’ll hear them as whispers; but if we don’t pay attention they’ll have to shout - or, as in her case, telephone!

In her forthcoming book, The Essential Whisper, La Rue identifi es six qualities of the soul’s voice that distinguish it from our usual mental chatter. The six qualities - snapshots, collapsed time, urge, wondering, knowing, and inspiration - are all characterised by a sense of spaciousness, stillness, and presence, which can alert us to pay attention to what is arising from a deeper place of knowing.

“ Learning to listen to our intuition can help us make choices ”

NLP NEWS


Getting past people’s limiting beliefs is perhaps one of greatest challenges to the dissemination of work of this kind. We’re conditioned to be sceptical of something that seems too good to be true, or too easy to be of value; the ‘no pain, no gain’ Puritan ethic still prevails quite widely! It’s also necessary to fi nd ways round, through or over beliefs and prejudices that may recoil from a particular presentation - for example, for those who have an aversion to the G word, La Rue’s references to God may be off-putting (even ‘soul’ might be too much for some).

The next stageI fi nd it hugely exciting to see NLP enthusiasts beginning to open up to the next stage - the spiritual or transcendent - as exemplifi ed in La Rue’s work. There are pioneers already out in the fi eld, for instance Robert Dilts; also the Andreas sisters, with their Core Transformation process; and Brandon Bays. Some interesting links are emerging, for example Zen Master Genpo Merzel’s Big Mind process, a sort of ‘short-cut to satori’ using parts-work to go beyond the limited ego-mind; also my own experiments in Natural Mind Magic, linking NLP with the wild and wonderfully creative practices of Tibetan Vajrayana Buddhism. The Spiral Dynamics developmental model, with the ‘second-tier thinking’ of its ‘being’ levels, is gaining wider recognition within the coaching / personal development world. There’ll always be room for more - after all, it’s a boundless space! And there are numberless beings - or indeed Mr Beans - who could benefi t from this level of work. It’s a tremendous opportunity to contribute profoundly to the world.La Rue will be in Sussex at Evolution Training from April 18th-30th running a series of workshops and training courses, ‘Receiving Your Hearts Desire’ takes place again on April 18th and 19th. Further details can be found at www.evolutiontraining.co.ukLa Rue’s book, ‘The Essential Whisper’ is due out this summer, details can be found on her website www.directaccess2u.com

La Rue believes that learning to listen to our intuition can help us to make choices that are true to our path, rather than trying to distort, suppress or deny our authenticity in attempts to please others. The deeper wisdom is aligned with higher good, she says; and following its guidance is not at all the same as indulging superfi cial whims: hence the usefulness of the six distinctions to enable us to recognise the genuine voice of wisdom.

Receiving Your Heart’s DesireAround 50 people attended La Rue’s recent SoulTalk® workshop in the UK, entitled Receiving Your Heart’s Desire; among them was ANLP’s Karen Moxom. Karen was especially struck by the demonstration of the power of energy-infl uence. In one exercise, she recounts, a student was asked to close her eyes while the other participants silently ‘booed’ her and gave her the thumbs-down. On muscle-testing, her outstretched arm proved to be weak. While the student continued to keep her eyes closed, the other participants began smiling at her and giving her the thumbs-up: and now the arm tested strong. Then the student was instructed to repeat to herself an empowering phrase - and by ‘standing in her own power’ she remained consistently strong whatever the others were directing towards her! What was also interesting, says Karen, was that the student confessed afterwards that she hadn’t really believed in what she was saying to herself - but still it was effective: a great example of the effi cacy of acting ‘as if ’ it were so in order to bring about real change.

For Karen, this reaffi rmation of the power of our own energy both to affect others and also to protect ourselves from others’ infl uence was a high point, as was the later clearing of a personal blockage associated with a cluster of old limiting beliefs. By contacting deeper wisdom in this simple way, using the muscle testing to amplify the messages, profound changes and insights happened quickly and safely; as Karen says, people were able to get straight to the essence.

The Six Distinctive Qualities of the Soul’s VoiceSnapshotsMoments of great signifi cance in your life. A snapshot moment seems to be frozen in time, like a photo, and there’s a click of recognition of its importance, like the click of a camera.

Collapsed timeAltered perception of time - either slowed down or speeded up. In both cases there’s a sense of heightened awareness within the present moment.

UrgeA magnetic pull towards a desired outcome. It’s like a gut feeling or hunch with a compelling strength to it, accompanied by increased energy to enable you to act on it.

WonderingA curiosity and willingness to fi nd out the truth of something. It can seem to arise spontaneously and is characterised by openness, free of attachment to outcome.

KnowingA sense of resonance, or alignment. It’s a sense of ‘rightness’ as a physical recognition of a certainty that goes much deeper than conditioned learning.

InspirationAn idea, or ideas, linked with high energy and creativity. It’s stimulating and joyful, and you just have to go with it and act on it! It’s also catching - it spreads to other people!

NEWS


NLP ConferenceA well-deserved honour

ANLP Accredited Trainer, Dr. Alex Cheung, was elected ‘The Best NLP Trainer’ of the 2006 Asian Top 10

Corporate Trainers organized by HK Daily News. The panel of judges was very impressed at Dr. Cheung’s relentless efforts in promoting the application of NLP in the business sector both locally and in the Asia Pacifi c. Six of his NLP courses have gone through strict scrutiny of the Hong Kong Council for Academic Accreditation and have now been approved by the Government for Continuing Education Funding. This is a very substantial evidence of the high quality of his trainings as well as great encouragement for the participants - they can receive a subsidy of 80% of the course fee!

Dr. Cheung is a very popular Corporate Trainer with clients from many different fi elds; including Multi-national Enterprises, Government Departments, Banks, Insurance Companies, Welfare organizations and Medical fi elds. The many excellent Reference Letters from his clients helped him to win this great honour.

Another mission of Dr. Cheung is to see NLP in mainstream education. He is currently working with 5 local Universities in HK to offer NLP courses. He believes that professional

standard of NLP trainings must be well maintained in order to gain proper recognition. The reputation of the universities will help to secure public confi dence, bringing more people to the NLP world. His high credentials and extensive personal & professional networks become the bridge which is another unique contribution to the development of NLP in HK & Asia.

For more information about Dr. Cheung’s profi le & activities, please visit www.nlppro.com

ANLPNews

Take part in the NLP research survey

Rapport appeal

ANLP would like to create an online archive of all past Rapport articles dating back to the fi rst

ever issue in 1986. This archive would be a valuable and interesting resource

for both members and Rapport readers. Unfortunately, the Rapport archive has been badly damaged and most of it is no longer legible! So ANLP is appealing to readers for help. If you have any back

issues of Rapport, dated between 1986 and 2002, please do contact the ANLP offi ce on 020 8275 1175, or visit the website on www.anlp.org for details of the back issues required.

H ave you completed the NLP Online Survey yet? This online survey

has been commissioned to fi nd out how you, as part of an active and interested body of NLP enthusiasts, understand the community of which you are a part. It is the most comprehensive survey of NLP and its uses

ever undertaken, and is being distributed amongst thousands of people interested in NLP.

The survey will take about 10 minutes of your time and the results will be made available to everyone who expresses an interest. You can access the survey online at www.surveymonkey.com/s.asp?u=501942295423

W idening Horizons is the theme of a fast-moving one-day event being staged next month by Jo Hogg,

organiser of the annual November NLP Conference in London.

At Regent’s College, London on 28 April, a string of speakers will give thirty-minute presentations on topics from within NLP and beyond.

Speakers confi rmed so far include Greg Laws on Stone Age NLP, Masha Bennett on EFT, Steve Jones on negotiation, Jill Wigmore-Welsh on Body NLP, Davina Mackail on feng shui and Richard Walker on the physics of happiness.

Jo explained: “It’s a day for the NLP community to socialise and network, as well as to have the opportunity to meet a lot of new presenters and hear a wide range of topics. It also give a platform for people who’ve not presented at a November Conference.

“For newcomers it helps them to experience the enormous range of applications of NLP at modest cost.”

Full detail and tickets (£45 each) are available from the Conference website: www.nlpconference.co.uk

Self-Care and Wellbeing for Effective Leadership

LEADERSHIP


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A ccomplishing change in this world requires leadership, and this train-

the-trainer workshop teaches the key skills of effective leadership. It also goes beyond leadership skills to address a crucial, but often overlooked, leadership issue. We have found that leaders’ passion for change often can be so forceful that it may lead them to neglect two critical, related factors: their own wellness and the health and wellness of those with whom they partner to bring about change.

Thus the workshop also addresses fundamental skills of self-care for leaders, to help leaders remain strong and resilient and avoid burnout or other factors that might diminish their effectiveness. It also shows how leaders can create a healthier overall organizational environment, so others may more successfully sustain their own energy and capacities.

Briefl y described, the self-care aspect of the training has the following characteristics:• The participants learn how to practice and teach specifi c, straightforward practices that have been proven to improve physical health and combat stress;

1-3 June 2007 with special guests Dr Patricia Novick and Judith DeLozier

• The self-care practices relate to breathing, movement, water, relationships, touch, conscious eating, and other essential subject areas;• The practices do not require “special effort,” such as going to a gym or taking time out from one’s schedule; they can be integrated into daily activities;• The grounding of each practice is deepened and anchored through the use of music, song, poetry, and interfaith prayer, and over 200 images also reinforce the content• The participants learn how self-care skills to build a healthier working environment.

An attractive workbook reinforces the training content, and mutual support among the participants is built into the training so that they come to know each other better and create a “community of wellness” which sustains their commitment.

The unique overall outcomes of combining leadership skills with self-care skills are as follows:• Leaders are enabled to bring more of themselves to their commitments and to sustain their change activities over longer periods of time;

• They learn how to help others do the same; and • They thereby create an enlarged space for meeting not just the abstract issue-related interests of those they would enlist in change, but also for meeting others’ most fundamental personal needs and interests.

With Special Guests:Dr. Patricia Katherine Novick holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and two degrees in Divinity. She has taught self-care to over one thousand people, in various settings. She created and administered the fi rst program in the U.S. to provide degree-granting education and training in holistic healthcare concepts and practices. She holds certifi cations or advanced training in more than ten specifi c healing disciplines, including breathwork, healing touch, hypnotherapy, biofeedback, and Feldenkrais Method. As a Senior Fellow at Harvard Divinity School in 2003-2004, she led the creation of an exhibit, “Art and Healing,” which has been presented in locations throughout

the U.S. The exhibit displays over 100 art items related to healing from 11 different faith traditions.

Judith DeLozier is an original co-developer of the fi eld in NLP and has made fundamental contributions to the development of many core NLP models and processes.

In her 30 years of training and working with NLP all over the world she has particularly championed ideas that relate to culture, community, personal congruence, trans-cultural skills and more systemic and relational approaches.

Judith’s background is originally in anthropology and religious studies and her love of dance (ballet and Congolese) has led her to promote movement and the body as a primary tool in NLP - leading to the creation with Robert Dilts of Somatic Syntax. She is the co-author of Turtles All the Way Down (with John Grinder) and the Encyclopedia of NLP (with Robert Dilts.)Central School of Speech and Drama in association with PPD Learning LtdRegister your interest now: [email protected]

INTERNATIONAL


When Ralph Watson fi rst went to Istanbul in April 2004 in order to lead an NLP Practitioner course, it was quite an experience. Andy Coote reports

‘Challenge Ralph’ Rebuilding the reputation of NLP in Turkey

R alph Watson knows how it feels to get out of his comfort zone. He fi rst went to Istanbul in April 2004 in order to lead an NLP Practitioner course in English (with translation to Turkish) for

a sponsor out there. “That was quite an experience”, he tells us, “fi rstly because I was working through translation for a nine-day period and I had absolutely no knowledge or experience of the Turkish language. Imagine the challenges - teaching Milton language patterns that are being translated into a language the structure of which is totally different to English” he smiles at the memory. ”We had so much FUN working out how to switch them round and get them to work. Then, to add another level of interest, I discovered that the assistant they had assigned to me spoke no English either. Picture this one - a group of three people engaged in an exercise. They are being monitored by me (at a discreet distance) and my interpreter is translating every word so that I can follow the process. My assistant is monitoring another group and then she has to feed back the results through the interpreter.”

Rather than fi nding the situation nightmarish, Ralph found the whole experience so charmingly bizarre that he enjoyed every second of every day. He found the people “amazing”. “In all my experience, I have never met people with such ENERGY! They asked constant questions, happily explored where many are cautious to tread and, well, imagine an NLP course where everyone gets up and sings and dances at least twice every day - and I mean EVERYONE! It was like a nine-day learning-party”

And they did learn. “One of my great joys is to observe people in the process of gaining insight to themselves and, when they are ready, making some positive changes for themselves - some big, some small, all powerful.

I watched people in Istanbul who sat in tears of pleasure at changing the way they perceived a relationship. There’s no price on that. None at all”.

That, along with his experience of Istanbul, ensured that he went back. “Have you ever arrived somewhere for the fi rst time and been just so SURE that you’ve been there before? Ever felt totally relaxed and at home, so to speak? Well, that’s what I experienced in Istanbul. It’s an amazing city in an amazing country and full of amazing people. I’ve been welcomed everywhere I’ve been and I’ve worked all over Turkey now. I really love working here. It also sparked my interest in exploring personal development in different cultures. To date, I’ve been to Croatia, Russia, China, Holland, Italy, the Czech Republic and Gulf States. I’ve been very lucky indeed”.

So lucky, in fact, that his vision for NLP in Turkey borders on the evangelical. “Since I came to Turkey, I have met some amazing people,

worked with literally hundreds of students and seen some go on to become NLP Trainers in their own right. I’ve also been aware that there are training companies in Turkey whose sole outcome is to make money from teaching

NLP and who have little regard for quality or ethics. They have seen a blank cheque and want to write a large sum on it. I want that to change. I want to see an evolution in NLP training in Turkey. One that brings with it a growing community of trainers and practitioners who respect each other, acknowledge the value of what they do and communicate. NLP itself has been damaged in Turkey because organisations have been ripped off by so-called “NLP experts” and so have individuals. I have friends who are afraid to tell people they are NLP trained! That can’t be

INTERNATIONAL


“ I want to re-establish NLP in Turkey as a respected set of tools for personal, and professional growth”

INTERNATIONAL


right, surely. My outcome is to re-establish NLP in Turkey as a respected set of tools for personal, and professional, growth”.

Ralph has set himself a big challenge by any measure. And the approach needs to be fundamental, he believes. “My opinion is that we need to, quite literally, start again. I am planning to run some NLP programmes that are thorough in their content, ethical in their approach and designed to produce NLP Practitioners and Master Practitioners who really know their stuff and walk their talk. It’s going to take time and it’s going to need support. People here don’t enjoy the level of income that they do in the West and they don’t have the level of employment benefi ts either. A sixteen day programme takes a lot of fi lling and I’m looking to create new approaches with suffi cient fl exibility to empower people to learn. We need to fi nd new ways to teach NLP that will fi t with the culture here and not try to make the culture fi t to us. That’s been tried - and it didn’t work”.

Ralph’s goal is to encourage people to become part of a new generation of Practitioners, Master Practitioners and then Trainers. “I don’t care if that takes years. The end result will be worth it. If we can get NLP back to the level of respectability that it enjoys elsewhere in the world”.

The challenge is, to Ralph, one worth taking on. “I really love what I do and I would not do anything else. All I ask is the chance to carry on doing it. I do what I do best and I intend to do it well”.

Ralph’s appetite for new frontiers is considerable. He is already working across Europe and into the Middle East with corporate clients. “The next year is already full of exciting things so I’m thanking the universe for all

of it. In collaboration with a major Adult learning Centre, I’m about to establish the London Centre for Personal Excellence, which will be based in the East End of London - another of my favourite places - and will be offering programmes to both businesses and individuals on a wide range of subjects from pure NLP to Leadership Development. We have an amazing new venue that will be opening very soon so watch this space!”

He is also hoping to bring people from the UK, and elsewhere, to Turkey for an “NLP holiday” experience. They will be advertised from the middle of 2007. “I’m exploring venues on the South Coast of Turkey as well as here in beautiful Istanbul”.

Ralph is an Accredited Trainer with ANLP. It is a strategic move for him. “ANLP is an inclusive association and my intention is to use that for the benefi t of the students in Turkey. All students who attend at Practitioner and Master Practitioner level will have an opportunity to become part of the ANLP community with their own entry on the website that will promote them for the quality of their work. It’s part of that evolution. Image is important to Turkish people and to be a Member of an association with its attendant benefi ts will help them establish their credibility”.

He is also an INLPTA Member and sees no clash in that. “INLPTA stands for quality, professionalism and ethics, as does ANLP. What better standard to fl y on what we aim to achieve in Turkey. I acknowledge and support the standards and work of INLPTA in everything I do. That won’t change. What may change, if it has to change, will be the structure of the trainings in Turkey. We teach fl exibility in NLP. I’ll be practicing what we preach. Any perceived clash will lie only in the mindset of those who think we must do it the way we’ve always done it.”

For you, the reader of this issue of Rapport Ralph has this message. “You’ve read the article. Now come and meet the cast. Get booked on Easyjet and come and learn in the most amazing country on earth!”

We’ll maybe see you there.

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WHO KNOWS HOW GOOD YOUR BUSINESS IS...... BESIDES YOU?

What can press and public relations do for your business?Does visual communications just mean a logo and a website?How can you best interface with your customers directly?How else can you promote your business?

PR and Marketing T: 01582 792 346Visual Communications T: 020 8374 5701

At RPR (positive communications) and Square Eye Design we cut through the mystique of PR and marketing, unlocking the hidden potential of your organisation and communicate that potential to your market.

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EDUCATION


Sue Gwinnell-Smith is delighted to know that students at her Sussex comprehensive school fi nd her not

just scary but ‘nice scary’. Littlehampton Community School has 2000 students aged 11 - 18, and Sue has special responsibility for the behaviour support unit for those with severely disruptive behavioural and emotional diffi culties. With a background of over 30 years in education, much of it specialising in children’s emotional and behavioural problems, combined with 15 years’ practice of Tibetan Buddhism, and, more recently, NLP Practitioner training, Sue teaches the students how to manage their own behaviour and helps the staff to support them in learning to take responsibility for their actions.

‘Some of the young people have extreme problems at home,’ explains Sue. ‘There may be violent and abusive parents, family drug and alcohol issues, or neglect. Some have undergone traumatic experiences, while others have great personal challenges such

as autistic-spectrum problems or varying degrees of learning diffi culties. Many have anger management problems. As well as improving literacy and numeracy, we try to promote emotional intelligence. My Buddhist background helps in teaching the students how their actions lead to consequences, linking up with ideas such as “what goes around comes around”. They learn that if you can calm the mind and let it settle, it’s possible to choose to be happy; talking about impermanence - “this too will pass” - also helps them to cope with awful circumstances.’

Starting with the basic Buddhist principle of ahimsa, or not harming, and helping if possible, Sue brings in metta or loving kindness, plus skilful means, mindfulness and awareness. ‘Then I add the practical tools of NLP,’ she says; ‘and, while there may not be a magic wand, there’s certainly a bagful of possible strategies! So, if what you’re doing isn’t working, you can change tack easily!’

PresuppositionsSue fi nds that her NLP skills help her to communicate more effectively, and she’s a great fan of the NLP presuppositions. ‘Respecting others’ models of the world helps me not only with the children, but also with the parents, some of whom have very different models from mine! Accepting that the meaning of communication is the response you get is also very relevant: as educators, it’s our responsibility to communicate well so as to be understood. And it’s really helpful to remember - or at least be open to the idea - that people are not their behaviour, however destructively they may be acting it’s the best they can do at that moment, and there’s some sort of positive intention underlying even the most destructive actions.’

Much of Sue’s work involves helping the staff to work with the students. ‘I can tell straight off, at their interviews, who is going to fi nd it easy to control a class and who isn’t,’ she says. ‘Number one, you need rapport. But when little Johnny bleeps at you, what happens to your rapport?!

Classroom management with Buddhist ‘skilful means’ and NLP. Assistant head teacher Sue Gwinnell-Smith describes her strategies to Caitlin Collins

‘They think I’m a mad woman!’‘They don’t know what I might do next!’

EDUCATION


right, Miss. It does work!”’What other tips does Sue have for stress

management on the spot? ‘I fi nd it helps to walk away from the person I’m having diffi culties with. I breathe and I count! Then I praise someone nearby for doing the right thing. I use proximity praise - praising someone else who is doing what I want, so the person I’m really aiming at will also want to be praised and so will act accordingly!’

A holistic futureSue is excited about future plans for Littlehampton Community School. The school is developing environmental awareness and responsibility, including constructing an ambitious new eco-building, along with promoting a more holistic approach towards the students by bringing together the many

different agencies involved in the children’s welfare. As Sue points out, this will benefi t not only the individual children now, but also the wider community, and the benefi ts will carry on into the future as the young people go on to become parents themselves.

And what about Sue herself ? She recently received a compliment from a colleague. ‘She said to me: “It really shows you love your job!” And I do! It’s worthwhile. The kids tell me I’ve helped them to look at things differently and to make things happen. They say, ‘”We know you care.” They’re right. I do care. And I want to make a difference.’

You need to be creative - perhaps sit on the fl oor beside a youngster who is refusing to move! You need to bring everything into play in that moment: your background, training, strategies, and instinct.’

TechniquesHer reputation as ‘nice scary’ may have arisen because Sue doesn’t get rattled easily. ‘We had a lad with autistic-spectrum problems whose behaviour could be a challenge - he’d be swearing and carrying on - very diffi cult. When I asked him why behaved better with me than with some of the other teachers, he told me it was because I was scary, then added, “but nice scary”! Unfortunately I couldn’t extract any more details from him! I think it’s because I don’t shout or get upset, but I’ll do unusual things as pattern interrupts to get a child to break state. They think I’m a mad woman - they don’t know what I’ll do next!’ Sue encourages the staff to model those teachers the students call ‘scary’, noticing their body language and how they walk, as well as their language patterns and how they speak. She invites them to tell stories in the classroom, maintaining that even the toughest kids love fairy stories! Open, Milton-type language and positive suggestion are also important. Sue asks the teachers to focus on what’s right, on what they want, not on what they don’t want. ‘For instance, a teacher may be telling the kids how bad they are,’ she

says. ‘But I’ll go into the room and ask, “Is everything all right?” I’ll say that I know the children are bright, and that I know the class can settle down and work well.’

Sue teaches both students and staff a number of NLP techniques, such as anchoring to evoke positive states of mind, imaginatively rehearsing effective behaviour, and visualising desired outcomes; she especially emphasises the importance of effective goal setting. One of her favourite strategies is 7 / 11 breathing: breathing deeply down into the belly while counting to seven, then releasing the breath as a sigh while counting to eleven, so the outbreath is longer and more controlled. ‘It’s a basic mindfulness of breathing meditation. I tell them I do this when I’m feeling stressed - and no one knows I’m doing it! I ask the kids to practise 7 / 11 breathing whenever the ads

come on TV; I say that the ads will remind them to do it. And I say that I know from my own experience that it works, that the more they practise the easier it becomes, and also that I have the scientifi c evidence to back up what I say - it’s proven to reduce adrenalin levels and induce relaxation. The great thing is, the kids come back and tell me, “You’re

“ When little Johnny bleeps at you, what happens to your rapport?”

group of people. Not the stuff of scientifi c inquiry. Wouldn’t it be great if you tried this out with your colleagues, participants, family and friends? You could fi nd out if it does work and possibly avoid having people become defensive when all you want to do is make a suggestion. It takes a bit of practice for it to become natural but after a couple of tries it is much easier.

I would love to know what you discover. Please email me at [email protected]

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT


The End Of The Incompetency Attack*?For years it’s been known that how one

manages one’s emotional state is key to performance. Ask any athlete. Ask anyone

who has to make a presentation. Ask a student about writing an exam. Ask anyone who makes a living curing others of performance anxiety.

And then let’s take the context of learning. Many people had stressful experiences at school or other environments that they describe as ‘traumatising.’ When I was fi rst hired in a French training company, a well-known author and my senior consultant, conducted what he called “sales training” for myself and another newcomer to the fi rm. This consisted of video taping role plays between us and potential customers and then during the playback he pointed out everything we did wrong. For me this created a huge “Incompetency Attack” where I became convinced I would never be able to sell and therefore never be able to ‘make it’ in this industry. This dreadful feeling lasted well over 6 months.

I run the annual 2 week LAB Profi le Consultant/Trainer Certifi cation Program. Every year a few people freak out and have Incompetency Attacks. Over the years, my coaching team and I have developed many strategies to help our participants manage their emotional states. We invited people to use NLP anchoring techniques to create positive states. We had them label the experience as an ‘Incompetency Attack’ and realise it had nothing to do with their real level of incompetency. We developed a facilitation approach that the coaches could use to help people get through the emotions to get back to a positive emotional state. I even created a new technique, based on many NLP protocols to help people recapture their success strategies and transform their experience as learners.

**Traditional Feedback Sandwich: What I liked. Points of Improvement (typically phrased as what I didn’t like), Overall positive comment. Most people agreed that this has become so familiar that as soon as someone gives them a compliment they brace themselves to hear the criticism that inevitably comes next and therefore cannot take in the compliment.

by Shelle Rose CharvetBut it still bothered me that some people

experience these devastating negative emotional states when they are learning a subject matter about which they are passionate. I knew there had to be another way.

Last summer we had a smaller group than usual. I decided that we would change the way we gave feedback to see if we could reduce the number of people who had Incompetency Attacks and increase the number of people who meet the certifi cation standards.

Here is the formula we used when we wanted a participant to change something that he or she was doing:1. Make a suggestion.2. Give 2 reasons why we think it is a good idea: one reason states what the suggestion would accomplish (LAB Profi le Pattern: Toward), and one reason would state what problem the suggestion would prevent or solve (LAB Profi le Pattern Away From)

3. Make an overall positive comment about the person, his/her abilities, etc.

We decided to forbid any criticism, either direct or implied. If anyone noticed something wrong, before speaking they were to think of what they wanted instead and express it in the above format.

Here’s an example:“I was thinking that when you are asking a client about his needs, consider repeating

back his key words. This would allow you to make sure that your client knows you got what was important and also avoid any misunderstandings on the deliverables. You already acknowledge what is important to people by nodding so this should be do-able.”

This straight-forward formula is harder than you might think. It took the team of coaches a couple of days to be doing it fl uently without any critique. We taught our participants also to use this formula when giving each other feedback instead of critiquing. And we threw out the traditional feedback sandwich** altogether.

What were the results? For the fi rst time, all eligible participants met the certifi cation standards. While there were a couple of people who had some diffi culty with some of the exercises, no one freaked out! Not one Incompetency Attack. And all we had done was shift the environment slightly!

This was a one-time experiment with a small

“ How one manages one’s emotional state is key to performance ”

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT


*Incompetency Attack is a term invented by my good friend Gillian Keefe. It refers to an extremely negative emotional state wherein one believes one is utterly incompetent. The state however has no bearing on one’s real level of incompetence.

CELEBRITY


motivational hurdle. Radcliffe recommends layering as a good way to offset the cold and keep comfortable: “Not just one thick layer but two or three lightweight layers. It allows perspiration to escape more readily while holding in more heat, so it will keep you warmer and drier. Running indoors can work as part of your training routine. It can be a bit dull but music can help you keep going.”

Future pacing will help you identify challenges that you’ll face in reaching your goal. When you think about the coming weeks and months, what are you dreading the most? How can you build in solutions as you plan your progress?

Radcliffe says, “I have been doing cross-training during my pregnancy and it also helped me recover from my foot injury last

year. I also use a cross-country ski machine regularly in hard training blocks to reduce pounding on my body. It helps you maintain fi tness without pounding the roads and stressing your joints. It provides a good cardiovascular workout and will build strength. Cross training is a good way of maintaining

P aula Radcliffe knows more about the importance of preparation and long term goal setting than most people.

Last year, 5000 runners pulled out of the London Marathon due to injury or not being prepared. Many dropped out in the week just before the race. As with any large goal, combining the right mental attitude with the necessary practical steps can make the difference between fi nishing the race or giving up before you’re off the starting block.

Radcliffe says, “I think a lot of people underestimate the challenge of running a marathon and turn up under-prepared. The most important thing is to start slowly. Especially if you are a beginner and this is your fi rst marathon. Doing too much too soon can only lead to injury and disappointment.”

Think about your biggest goal. Do you dream about running a marathon? Writing a book? Building up your own business? Buying a house? Whatever your goal, it will be much more manageable when you’ve broken it down into smaller chunks. If you let the steps you should be taking (training, working on your business / book or saving up for a deposit) build up, you’ll not make enough progress. This will soon lead to feeling overwhelmed and demotivated.

Radcliffe says, “Giving yourself regular goals to aim at is a great way to keep you motivated.” For marathon runners, this might be upping your speed or mileage. For

wannabee homeowners, it might be the next £1000 saved. With a new business, it might be a certain amount of clients of customers each week. And for a writer, a minimum weekly or daily word count is easier to measure than “a book.”

According to Radcliffe, “For any runner to perform at their best, it is important that they run effi ciently, allowing their body to use as little energy on each step as possible, whilst maintaining the required stride length and cadence. A combination of correct running technique and using appropriate running equipment can help to reduce the chance of injury. With respect to running technique, the most important concept is to run tall and relaxed.”

Think about your goal. Is there any training

you can do to enhance your saving, sales or writing technique? What resources do you have to help you avoid setbacks on your path to success? How can you measure your achievements and feedback to see what needs to change and what’s going well?

Winter marathon training can be a

Paula Radcliffe started running seriously as a 12-year-old. It took her years to build up the muscle and stamina needed to become the women’s marathon world record holder

HOW PAULA RADCLIFFE’S MARATHON GOAL SETTING COULD WORK FOR YOU AND YOUR GOALS by William Little and Eve Menezes Cunningham

“ Giving yourself regular goals to aim at is a great way to keep you motivated”

CELEBRITY


fi tness levels when injured.”How can you “cross train” as you progress

along your path? What can you do when you’ve got a cold or are having to spend a lot of time travelling? If you’re building a business, as well as making those calls, you might seek inspiration by talking to successful entrepreneurs, reading books or listening to motivational CD’s as you travel to meetings? While not technically on your To Do List, these activities will all help you succeed. Think laterally.

Before running a marathon, Radcliffe suggests eating a breakfast of complex carbohydrates. She says, “Simple carbohydrates such as confectionary and sweet foods are also helpful in giving a quick boost of energy. But they will not provide a lasting benefi t so should be used sparingly.”

With your goal, as well as eating a balanced and nutritious diet to keep your healthy and well, use your skills to audit your mental diet. Are you telling yourself things that inspire and motivate you or is negativity taking a hold? Are you spending precious time off with uplifting friends and family? Are you giving yourself enough downtime to recharge and renew?

Many people feel quite anti-climactic when their goal is within reach. This is where setting goals beyond the goal is helpful. In the meantime, Radcliffe reminds us, “The most important thing is to enjoy it and have fun whilst running. I sometimes still cannot believe this is a career as I also see it as a hobby.”

• “For beginners and regular runners, the most common cause of injury is progressing too fast, too soon. It is important to remember that most injury is avoidable. The fi rst rule is to ease slowly into any run.”• “Targeting a half-marathon or 10k prior to the big day is perfect. Plus it will give you essential race day experience.”• “For good core stability to help your body stay strong and balanced when fatigued, invest in a Swiss ball. You can do lots of core strengthening on the ball and make the routine more interesting and effective so you will be more likely to do them regularly and reap the benefi ts.”• Radcliffe says that the best way to avoid injuries is to have a sensible approach to training and never try to make big increases in weekly running schedules: “As a general rule don’t increase by more than 10% at a time.”• “Running technique is also something that has to be taken into consideration. Buying a pair of running shoes that are suited to your style is one of the best pieces of advice that you can have,” she says. There is no “single best shoe - everyone has different needs.” Radcliffe recommends seeking out a specialist running shop: “Get someone to watch how you run and do a proper test. You shouldn’t compromise when you’re buying your training shoes. Proper running socks will also help - and stop you getting blisters.”

• Stretching is essential: “Walk briskly fi rst and once your muscles are warm then stretch properly. Always jog a little to warm up before starting these stretches. You should be careful how you do stretches though and never go past a point where it starts to feel painful. I think a regular regime of jogging and stretching before and after running helps you to feel loose and relaxed whilst running and aids the body’s recovery time. Looking after your muscles is an essential part of your training. It is better to hold a stretch for a good 30 seconds. After a few weeks, you’ll be feeling the benefi ts.”• “Make sure you stay well hydrated, even in cold weather. When you are wearing loads of clothes you will sweat and lose fl uids, so make sure you drink water before and during each run. Also, drink plenty of liquids after training - especially after long runs. And practice drinking during longer training runs.”• “Whilst running, pace yourself as it is important not to set off too fast at the start of a race. Learn to pace your running throughout the full distance of the run. Above all enjoy the run and always remember running is not only great exercise, but it’s your own personal time.”• “When I’m racing I tend to count in my head. But if I’m training, or feeling stressed, I switch off. Running clears my head. It’s my thinking time. It is important to remain focused and I am a very determined person.”

Paula Radcliffe’s top marathon training tips:

In my research, NLP trained individuals who use NLP in a business context were

asked whether their NLP training had improved their in-role performance. Almost all the respondents believed that this was the case.

This fi nding is consistent with Bandura’s self-effi cacy theory, which suggests that if an individual perceives an improvement in their in-role performance this is highly likely to be refl ected in their actual performance. This therefore suggests that NLP training is an effective means for businesses to improve employee performance. This may help to explain why a growing number of companies appear to be investing in NLP training for their staff, as improving performance potentially enhances competitive advantage.

In fact one of my main motivations for conducting the research was the observation that businesses and individuals were investing in NLP training but that this did not appear to be acknowledged in the academic literature and research generated by business schools. I am of the view that in order to be of

Research supports NLP training to be a potential source of competitive advantageResearch conducted at the University of Surrey as part of an MBA dissertation appears to support the view that NLP training may provide a means for businesses to gain competitive advantage.

value business schools must be appreciative of actual business practice. It appeared to me that NLP was clearly an area where this was not the case. I therefore decided to conduct an exploratory study into the use of NLP in business in an attempt to play some part in bridging the gap between the academic world and the business world.

My starting point was to review the literature relating to the use of NLP in business. Although as expected there are a large number of books and magazine articles on the subject the lack of literature generated by the academic community was very apparent. In fact it appeared that no other such review of literature on the use of NLP had been conducted in an academic setting, therefore my work was considered to be original.

Using fi ndings from the literature review and background interviews with some NLP practitioners, I produced a questionnaire which I distributed to 47 volunteers who had been recruited by PPD Learning as being NLP trained practitioners who use NLP in a business

setting. My analysis was based on 21 returns.

As well as the fi nding about self-effi cacy, other points of interest are as follows:1) Although NLP trained individuals work in a great variety of professions there were some notable patterns. When asked to describe their profession 24% mentioned coach, 24% mentioned consultant, and 19% mentioned trainer. This would tend to support the view that there is growing interest in coaching and the use of NLP techniques within the profession.2) The respondents were asked which techniques or models they most commonly used in a business context. A strong pattern emerged with 38% identifying perceptual positions.3) Interestingly 43% of respondents said that they had experienced barriers to using NLP in a business context with a third of these citing the fact that NLP is sometimes viewed as being manipulative. Where barriers had been encountered, 56% of the respondents said that they sought to overcome them by explaining NLP whereas the remainder

avoided using the term NLP. Additionally, a third of those who had encountered barriers thought that research into NLP would help to overcome the barriers.

I should point out that, as may be apparent, I am not personally a trained NLP practitioner. Whilst this undoubtedly made understanding and appreciating NLP and its terminology a challenge, it did mean that I was in a position to conduct my research without bias and therefore maintain my objectivity. Having now completed my MBA, I am looking forward to training as an NLP practitioner, hopefully sometime in the near future.

I would like to thank my dissertation supervisor, Dr Paul Tosey, and PPD Learning for all their help with this study in addition to everyone who took the time to complete the questionnaire.Curtis Ponting BSc(HONS) MBA FCA MCMI [email protected]. +44 1483 740296Additional contact details:Dr Paul Tosey, University of Surrey, [email protected]. +44 1483 689763

BUSINESS


by Curtis Ponting

PROFESSIONAL


ANLP’s reputation with the public and the media means that their website already has fi rst page rankings on Google without any need for them to pay for sponsored links, and now they are aiming to go one step further

ANLP have always recognised that they have two audiences – the general public, who come to ANLP to fi nd

quality practitioners and advice about NLP in general, and the members, who they support, encourage and promote.

Mindful of the fact that NLP is all about communication, ANLP are launching their improved new website in April. The most signifi cant improvement will be that the site will now be split into two clear sections.

The Members WebsiteFrom April, members, potential members and those interested in ANLP will have their own website. Aimed specifi cally at NLP Practitioners, Trainers and Regional Groups, this part of website will still include a ‘Members’ Only’ section, and will also have a dedicated business support area, information, links, research, case studies and other items of

interest to the NLP Community.Members will be able to log in and update

their profi le, upload diary events and case studies and maintain their CPD within the new online refl ective, outcome based programme. They will also be able to invite their peers to take part in online mentoring or supervision, and engage in discussions and online conversations through the new peer discussion links.

Members will also receive their own newsletter, which will keep them updated with information and events, offers and opportunities.

Information and diary events uploaded and maintained by members will then be available to the general public.

The Public WebsiteMembers of the Public, the Media and those interested in discovering more about NLP will now have their own dedicated part of the website. Designed with the wider audience

in mind, this area will offer help, information and assistance to the general public. As before, anyone who wishes to fi nd a practitioner or a trainer either by location or by keyword will be able to search our online members’ database and contact them.

There will also be opportunities for members to advertise their services and products on the public website, and there will be feature areas, including ‘Practitioner of the Month’ and ‘Featured Trainer’, relevant case studies, Rapport articles and NLP promotions designed to inform the General Public.

ANLP will also be launching the NLP Newsletter, which is specifi cally aimed at members of the public and will include information on the basics of NLP, and articles designed to educate the public on choosing a practitioner or training course. Again, there will be opportunities for members to promote themselves in this newsletter.

www.anlp.orgANLP Member Benefi ts include

• Rapport Magazine• Online Profi le and Promotion• Discounts and support with business services• CPD Online• Newsletters• Membership Certifi cate• Accreditation available

Visit www.anlp.org or call 020 8275 1175

HEALTH


Lighten your load with NLP

Most of us have an emotional connection to food and weight. When your healthy eating and

exercise plans are going well, it’s easy to stay motivated and on track. And when things go a bit pear, apple or even gateaux-shaped, NLP can mean the difference between a small lapse and a major binge...

1.Does a little voice in your head tell you that your efforts are pointless?

That you’re fat / lazy / worthless?Stop whatever you’re doing and examine

that voice. Who does it sound like? A critical parent? PE teacher from school? You, but really angry? Most of us have, at some point (often as children), internalised a critical voice. Because we hear it so often, we believe it. Change the voice you hear. Instead of a strict and authoritative voice, play around with it. Do you believe the words when they sound like Bart Simpson or your pet? This simple but effective technique works because it helps you to take a step back and assess whether what you are telling yourself is true or helpful.

2.Are you “too busy”?

Log your time over a few weeks to see where you can make time savings. Schedule in cooking and shopping time as well as exercise (whether it’s a class or appointment with yourself). As well as helping you fi t everything in, your self-esteem will grow as you get into the habit of keeping the promises you make to yourself.

3. Does one doughnut / packet of crisps / biscuit always seem to

turn into more?Do you reach for the whole packet or accept

your lapse and resolve to do better the next day? Stop everything you’re doing and enjoy every mouthful!

By fully savouring and appreciating it, you’ll benefi t much more than if you immediately let guilt and shame take over. You’ll also avoid the need to binge as you’ll already be feeling better.

4.You can’t imagine your life (or fi gure) any other way?

Spend a few moments believing you can and will achieve your health and fi tness goals. Let that feeling of success settle. What will you look like in that amazing new outfi t / holding an advanced yogic asana / completing the marathon? What admiring sounds will you hear? How fantastic will you feel? Putting as much detail into this daydream as you can, on a daily basis, will keep you fi red up to stay on track. It also sends a message to your unconscious that you’re making it happen.

5.Do you keep making excuses for eating the wrong foods / not

exercising?Letting go of any judgement, be honest with

yourself. What benefi ts are you getting from

your unhealthy eating / lack of exercise? It may be that you associate eating a packet of biscuits with pure indulgence and comfort. By recognising this, you can plan healthier ways to indulge and comfort yourself. Time in the steam room after your swim? Seeing a frivolous fi lm with a good friend? Every behaviour has a positive intention. Even if you’re directly sabotaging your best efforts, identifying this positive intention will help you make much more progress.

6.You didn’t think your health and fi tness goals through?

It’s not too late to do it now. Give yourself a timeframe and make the goal positive. If you say, “I want to lose weight” your heart may sink at the very idea. Reframing it as “I want

to be fi t, healthy and happy with my fi gure by December 2007” has an energising effect and will keep you motivated. Studies continually prove that people who write down and review their goals reach them. It only takes a few minutes to tip the scales in your favour. You can also time travel in your mind. Imagine you’re exactly as you want to be in December 2007, work back and list all the things you now need to do to get there.

A weight on your mind?As Spring approaches, it may be that New Year’s resolutions have been forgotten. Eve Menezes Cunningham investigates strategies for year round health and fi tness

“ Every behaviour has a positive intention”

HEALTH


7.When are you least likely to exercise / eat well?

Log your food and drink intake and exercise over a month. What triggers the giving up stage (hormonal changes? low energy?). Anticipate future lapses by making a note of them in your diary. Schedule in a bit of fl exibility around these times (deadlines at work? Certain times of the month?) and you’ll avoid the full downward spiral. Studying your log as evidence will help you become more objective and able to make lasting positive changes.

8.Do you appreciate your body for all the amazing things it does?

Notice the things you take for granted. If you’re still carrying extra baby weight, remind

yourself that your amazing body brought a baby into the world. If you’re worried about the size of your thighs, remember that they allow you to lift heavy loads. If you constantly attack yourself mentally, you’ll cling to those unhealthy habits more tightly. Accepting what you have shifts energy so you can make healthier choices more easily.

9.Are you regularly too tired to exercise?

Think about why this keeps happening. At what point do you usually realise you’re too tired? What can you do differently? It may mean waking up earlier, insisting on a lunch break or going for a daily walk. Or you might put some simple and gentle exercises together

to do before bed. Remembering that you always have choices empowers you to look at things differently.

10. Do you keep putting your diet and exercise plans off ?

Remember the last time you had a great workout. Recalling how brilliant you felt afterwards will help motivate you to make it a bigger priority. Never enjoyed exercising or eating well? There are other areas of your life which you handle with grace, confi dence and discipline. What is your strongest area? Reminding yourself that you excel in other areas allows you to become more objective and empowered when it comes to your weight.www.applecoaching.com

HEALTH

28 | Winter 2006 - rapport

Judy Price, Nutritionist and Master Practitioner and Trainer of NLP, started Happyweight after many years of yoyo dieting. The system helped her lose 50 lbs of fat without deprivation or dieting. Judy is now happy with her body and has a much healthier relationship with food.

The catalyst for Judy’s Happyweight programme was the realisation that diets not only don’t work but they damage self-esteem. Being fi lled with self loathing about your body shape is hardly the most resourceful state from which to change things. So Judy started to model naturally slim people to fi gure out their strategies for success. They didn’t diet, they simply ate when they were hungry and stopped when they were no longer hungry. They didn’t eat because they felt lonely, angry, upset or as a reward.

Judy encourages people to listen to their bodies. “Change your mind,” she says, “and the body changes naturally”. Mindful eating is recommended to help you notice how you feel as you eat and not to eat beyond your appetite because you’re distracted by the TV. Future pacing and trusting your own intuition also feature in the Happyweight plan. They sound simple but are valuable steps to help you regain trust in your own appetite.

Mandy Smith decided to try it. A week after starting the programme, she said, “The liberating feeling of not being on a diet is great. You’re not meant to weigh yourself but I have, just to see, and I’ve already lost 1kg.”

And a few weeks on, Mandy says, “I still feel great and very positive although I did have a slight set back when I fell back into a couple of bad habits. However, I am now aware why this happened and so can address and deal with this as it occurs, which is major step forward. Although I have been exercising regularly for the past 18 months I also decided to try a new aerobics class, which was of a higher level than I was used to. Although I felt I was going to melt by the end of the class, I found I really enjoyed it and wanted to go to this class regularly as the challenge of being able to do the routines is something I really want to achieve. It is early days still but something has changed and it’s defi nitely for the better!”

For more information about Happyweight, phone 01424 434606, email [email protected] or visit www.HappyWeight.com

Martha Beck’s “The Joy Diet: 10 steps to a happier life” (2003, Piatkus, ISBN 0749924411) can also help you to improve your eating habits and increase your appetite for joy, too.

Do you need help fi nding your Happyweight?

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PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT


Brand basics

It seems that whenever anyone starts a business the last thing they consider is their branding. This is totally understandable. The

most important thing is perfecting the product, whether this is a tangible object, or some kind of service. More often than not branding is an afterthought, or worse something which is rushed into when the business takes off and written down telephone numbers are not enough.

Branding can take on many guises, and can defi ne a product, a service or a whole company. It can be as simple as a logo on a letterhead or can be a whole ethos, which pervades the way a business operates and is percieved. Everything from sight to sound, smell, taste and touch are the vehicles which can carry a brand, and whatever the medium, a brand is about communication.

Whilst we would all love to start a company with a massive marketing budget, this is very rarely the case. But just because you can’t have a mega-budget advertising campaign and household recognition instantly this doesn’t mean that branding is something that you should get round to later.

Firstly there is the name of your business. Even if it is just your own name, this says a lot about how you want to be perceived, so this should never be rushed. Find something that you will feel comfortable with in ten years time, usually not too gimmicky, as what may be in fashion now rarely lasts for long.

Then it will be time to create an identity. This usually means a logo of some kind. These days most people feel comfortable using a computer and with the wealth of graphics packages on offer there may be a temptation to go it alone. Unless you are particulary visually creative, this can be a bit of a mistake. An unprofessional looking logo will always look bad and if you are asking someone to give you money for a

by Enzo Zanelli

“ One day your company might be recognised by a specifi c smell ”

service, this could just work against you. So it might be worth talking to a designer or design agency to see if they can help. They usually have services to suit different budgets and as with most things you get what you pay for.

To make the creation of your logo as painless as possible it is best to approach the design stage with a tight brief. Be specifi c about how you want to be perceived; what do you want your potential customer to think when they see your logo amongst the hundreds of others that they come across every day. If you have a very specifi c idea in mind, let the designer know, but always offer them the option to come up with

an idea of their own. This is what they do for a living and you might just be amazed at the way they have interpreted the brief. Without the brief though you will normally just get a nice looking logo which doesn’t best communicate your brand.

At this early stage you could be considering how the logo will be applied across different media. Even if it is just your standard set of letterheads, compliment slips and business cards. Keep things simple, there usually isn’t a need to print on expensive, antique looking paper as this effect will be expensive and diffi cult to recreate when you move onto getting a website or commissioning a brochure. With modern digital printing technology you can print small batches of stationery, as low as 100 sheets, economically. Get a feel for how much you use before ordering 10,000 letterheads. With most correspondence being distributed by email these days you may be suprised how little

you need. Do you really need more than 250 business cards?

One of the most important elements of your brand will be your website. Almost every company has one, even if it only contains a brief description and contact details. There are many levels of web design and a clear, well presented site will always work best in the early days. If you need to add masses of functionality then get the professionals in. But as before, always approach them with a detailed brief as costs can easily escalate if there is any confusion as to what is required.

Once you have the basis of your brand you can then be more reactive. If you suddenly need to advertise, at least the logo is ready and as you have already written down how the business needs to be perceived the process should be less hit and miss. The same is true of creating any other literature, such as direct mail, brochures and leafl ets.

If the brand has been created correctly it should be adaptable and ready to be delivered in whatever medium is appropriate. Who knows, one day your company might be recognised by a specifi c smell. Now wouldn’t that be interesting.

For more information about branding and visual communications email [email protected]

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Is 2007 the year to improveyour professional and

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NLP


S ymbols hold great meaning for us and immediately link our conscious and unconscious minds. Think of a wedding band. The circle symbolises union and the ring finger

represents commitment.NLP takes symbols further

through the use of anchoring and Symbolic Timelines (also known as Spatial Anchoring or Psycho-Geography). Feng Shui uses spatial anchors to create environmental balance. Infusing an environmental change with the intention of the desired outcome make Feng Shui adjustments very powerful.

Since ancient times, the Chinese have used symbols. Readers of Chinese understand the written characters when communicating in any dialect.

Feng Shui uses the symbol of wind (Feng) and water (Shui). The wind represents qualities that are felt but not seen and the water symbolises what can be seen and felt. The founders of Feng Shui recognised that environments have an energetic quality as well as being affected by physical things within them.

Other ancient civilisations also noticed that each place on the earth had a special genius and soul of its own. The Romans identified this as “Genius Loci.” Carlos Castaneda also emphasised the importance of finding your spot. D.H. Lawrence said, “Every continent has its own great spirit of place... call it what you like, but the spirit of place is a great reality.”

Feng Shui and NLP - a natural blendSymbols hold great meaning for us and immediately link our conscious and unconscious minds. Think of a wedding band. The circle symbolises union and the ring fi nger represents commitment

By Lou and Bruce Stewart

By honoring the sanctity of place, Feng Shui brings spatial sorting to a new level. Spaces are divided into a Ba-Gua with

eight main sections (or guas) plus a center, totaling 9 areas. Each space in the Ba-Gua represents a specific aspect of life. (See Ba-Gua diagram)

In NLP, each gua would be a submodality of the whole environmental space.

These spaces are interrelated and intersupportive. In Feng Shui, each spatial area conducts the chi (energy or intention) of that specific gua.

Remembering the NLP Eye Access charts can help you to picture

the Ba-Gua. This arrangement of nine spaces is another surprising

overlap of Feng Shui and NLP. Look at the Ba-Gua diagram

and its symbolic meanings. Note the relationships inherent in proximity.

To get a good feeling for Feng Shui, stand just inside your front door and hold the Ba-Gua map in front of you. Where does the door land on the bottom line of the Ba-Gua map? It

will be in either the Self Cultivation, Career, or

Helpful People/Travel area. Use the architectural front

door to orient your Ba-Gua, rather than another door you

may use for convenience. And if you are more familiar with another

Feng Shui Ba-Gua model, use the one that resonates most with you.

NLP


my Career (or other area) beginning now. I feel positive and inspired.” While holding your anchor, focus on how attaining this outcome will feel. Test all perspectives to ensure that the outcome feels congruent and ecological to you.

Feng Shui and NLP can deepen the interaction between your surroundings (Genius Loci) and your inner genius. May all your adjustments and anchors bring you great joy, wisdom and health.

WWealth

Red, green, purple

Fame

RedFire

Triangular

MarriageRelationship

Red, pink, whitePairs of objects

Family

GreenWood

Stripes,columns

Health

Yellow, brownEarth

Square objects

Children,CreativityWhite, silver

MetalRound objects

SelfCultivation

Blue, green

Career

Blue, blackWater

Asymmetrical

Helpful People,Travel

Grey

The BBa-Gua

The Career area denotes our service in life and what we offer to the world. It represents our ability to connect with others and accomplish meaningful actions. What is your Career space saying to you? Is it neat or messy? Is it full of items you love or things that no longer seem relevant? What is its purpose in your household layout? Is there anything that you are tolerating here?

This area is represented by the element of water. Fountains and aquariums are used to attract career success. Flowing water reminds us to be adaptable to reach any destination. When we are able to navigate obstacles undaunted, we remember that we are capable of adjusting to any challenge.

Likewise, NLP’s Law of Requisite Variety expresses the value of adapting to the ever changing environments and situations we encounter. Flexibility, in many different settings, helps us develop valuable skills for work and life.

Jane* called us because she was having trouble with her career. When we rang the bell, she came to the front door but the lock was jammed. Eventually, we had to use the side door to get in.

As we discussed Jane’s situation, it became obvious that her stuck front door reflected her trapped feelings in a business situation involving a lawsuit. When she learned that her front door was in her Career gua, she quickly got the lock repaired.

Combining NLP with Feng Shui offers greater congruence between your highest aspirations and the places you live, work and play. The effectiveness starts with your ability to connect with your Core Intention.

Both arts begin with the mind’s intention to evaluate and improve the current situation. Feng Shui uses external environmental objects to symbolise, anchor and stimulate this desire to change. NLP focuses on the internal sensory cues (visual, auditory and kinesthetic) to represent and translate personal experience into the real world.

You can simultaneously create an NLP anchor to supplement the Feng Shui anchor. For example, while holding your wrist, you may say, “This Feng Shui adjustment connects me to my highest good in

“ Combining NLP with Feng Shui offers greater congruence”

Bedroom Ba-Gua The bedroom nurtures your receptive nature. Stand in the doorway looking in and hold the Ba-Gua map in front of you to see where the door lands. Map out the nine areas of the Ba-Gua for your bedroom. Consider the meanings behind the words and your associations with them. What would you like to change? Where are your favorite objects? Imagine something you would like to enhance in your life. Which area of the Ba-Gua does it relate to the most? Stand in that area and ask yourself what you could place in this area that would anchor your desired outcome and place that object in that gua. If you can’t actually place that object, set a card there with a description of your outcome. Check in with yourself after a few days. Do you notice any changes in relation to this issue?

Authors of Your Way Home - The Psychology of Place, Inside & Out,

Lou and Bruce Stewart lead workshops around the world. Visit www.LouandBruce.com

to learn more about their approach.

BUSINESS


“ It was the rapport that made all the difference”

BUSINESS


Business coach Sonia Saxton explains to Joanna Goodman how rapport underpins her popular executive coaching programme

For Sonia Saxton, effective business coaching is all about

rapport. NLP tools and techniques are embedded in the systems and processes

followed by everyone at her specialist executive coaching company in North Yorkshire. Rapport is also a key element in her coaching style which depends on gaining the confi dence and trust of her clients. Saxton Partners organises one-to-one coaching and group training courses that help leaders and managers achieve better results by enhancing their coaching and communication skills.

Guaranteed resultsSaxton Partners offers guaranteed results in just three two-hour sessions. How does this work? “When we fi rst meet a client, we agree upfront what they want to achieve,” explains Saxton. “For instance, one managing director wanted to

improve his ability to present to large groups of people. We then work with the client to identify their desired outcomes. In this case we agreed that he would see himself address a large group confi dently; he would hear himself use positive, engaging language; and he would receive positive feedback from at least three people in the audience that his style and delivery had improved noticeably. If he doesn’t get those results, he can have his money back. So far, nobody’s asked for their money back,” she adds.

The next step is to agree a contract based on the agreed outcomes. This is reinforced at the fi rst coaching session and subsequently through a series of quality checks. Saxton explains. “After each session we call the client to confi rm that they are making progress and to fi nd out what they think of their coach. Of course the call is made by someone else in the business,” she says. “If necessary, we then adjust the programme to make sure it meets their needs.”

The three coaching sessions are usually six to

eight weeks apart, depending on each client’s schedule and the needs of their business. This allows clients to apply the skills that they have learnt and set the agenda for the next session. Every session is followed up by a separate quality check. In addition, every two weeks the coach phones the client for a chat. “It may seem like communication overkill, but by looking after our clients in this way, they know that we’re there for them,” says Saxton, adding that despite the ongoing evaluation, the actual content of the coaching sessions always remains confi dential between the client and their coach.

This structured, results-oriented approach means that Saxton’s services are sought after by leading pharmaceutical and manufacturing companies, among others. Her clients include Pfi zer, Smith & Nephew, LG Philips and Parker Hannifi n. “Busy directors are always looking for fast-track results,” she adds.

Rapport makes all the differenceSaxton is clearly a people person. She has a warm, engaging manner and combines a systematic approach to problem solving - she had a long career in change management before setting up Saxton Partners - with NLP training and a genuine sensitivity to the human issues that underpin business success.

It was a mix up at the local garage that led Saxton to focus more sharply on developing rapport with her customers. “I was upset with my garage after they’d messed up the service on my car,” she says. “But a few days later, I received a call from them, explaining that they were doing a quality check. They asked me what had gone wrong, sympathised and apologised. They even called again a few weeks later to make sure that the car was still OK.

It’s all about rapport

are concerned about the long-term future, they’re holistic.” With the client’s agreement, the responses are entered into a database and used to guide all future communications with that client. “For example, we don’t talk to a communitarian about meeting targets,” say Saxton. “It’s all about respecting what’s important to them. Every conversation is aligned with that client’s values and beliefs. This enables us to develop strong rapport.”

The process helps Saxton and her colleagues to develop an intensive coaching relationship with their clients, building up suffi cient trust

to tackle both business and personal issues that can undermine their effectiveness in the workplace. Recently, one sales director asked Saxton to help her overcome a tendency to blush uncontrollably during board meetings. “She’d tried everything from herbal pills to breathing exercises,” says Saxton. “I realised that this was a subconscious reaction so I applied some NLP techniques to address the cause of the problem rather than try to deal with the symptoms. I took her into trance and found out that her blushing had been triggered by an event in her past. I then put in a wise person to give her advice and used timeline therapy to help her rewalk her path in life. When she came round she felt much better and had stopped blushing. We then had to see what happened at the next board meeting. And it worked! Four days later she rang to thank me for solving her problem in just one session. We used the remaining sessions to reinforce the learning.”

I felt so much better that I didn’t look for another garage. It was the rapport that made all the difference.” She immediately decided to fi nd a way to integrate this element of client service into her own business and build rapport with her clients from the very fi rst contact.

A system based on values and beliefsThe resulting system is based on Dr Philip Hayes’ method of assessing people’s values and beliefs, using open questions to determine what motivates them and identify their on-off switches. Saxton explains. “When people fi rst contact us we ask them what they consider most important to the business. For example, if they say that they want to exceed their targets and beat the competition, we know that they’re focused on power and achievement. If they want to improve collaboration and networking, they’re communitarian. If they

The next Coaching Diploma will be held in Harrogate on 19-23 April. For further information see www.saxtonpartners.co.uk, call 0845 2570036 or e-mail Sonia Saxton at [email protected]

BUSINESS


Sonia Saxton’s Top Tips for successful coaching

1.Record each client’s values and beliefs on a database. This provides a

basis for all future communications.

2.Keep in touch. Every minute taken to call is a minute invested in

maintaining that connection. You will then be top of their list when they think about their business needs.

3.Respond to clients’ requests within 24 hours. Exceed their expectations.

If you tell people something will be done within the week, they are delighted when it’s done the next day!

4.Offer clients access to something costs you little, but shows you care.

e.g. free access to your resource library on a ‘return or invoice basis’

5.Follow up coaching sessions with calls every two or three weeks. This

shows your clients that you are there to support them as they make progress.

6.Demonstrate your confi dence in your own work by guaranteeing it.

Business benefi tsAlthough all this rapport building may seem like a lot of extra effort, Saxton highlights the signifi cant benefi ts that it brings in terms of business development. “Satisfi ed clients help to market the business by recommending our services,” she says. “Investing a few minutes to make a quick phone call is always time well spent. It’s far more effective than offering people free taster sessions because it shows people we care.”

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TRAINING & WORKSHOPS


by Peter Strachan of The Tranceforming Team

The fi rst time that I heard the acronym “NLP” was in an Offi cers’ Mess Bar during some down time in a Military

Training Exercise. I was serving as a Wing Commander in the Royal Air Force at the time and held an appointment in the Ministry of Defence. Chatting to a Royal Marine Lieutenant Colonel who had just completed his Master Practitioner Training with Performance Parnership, he was extolling the virtues of NLP and, in particular, the remarkable talent of David Shephard. He suggested that if I was interested in learning more about NLP I should contact their offi ce and arrange to do a course called “Presenting Magically” - “a good introduction to NLP which would also polish up my platform skills” - very useful for a regular presenter and briefer.

That’s how it all began! Six years later I have completed NLP Practitioner Training, NLP Master Practitioner Training, NLP Trainers’ Training, Coaching Skills for NLP’ers, Photo Reading™, Archetypal Branding, Hypnosis Trainers Training - all with David Shephard and The Performance Partnership plus Time Line Therapy™ Trainers Training with Tad James in the US.

Of course I cannot speak for others, though a startling number of people have travelled the same path at the same time and, I believe, have got as much as I have from the learnings. For anyone considering training in NLP, I thought it might be worth recalling my experiences of the

major trainings and why, both individually and collectively, David and the Trainings made such an impression on me.

My fi rst impression of David during “Presenting Magically” was frankly not good! When he started speaking I thought “oh dear, he seems a little slow and maybe even unsure of himself ”. Luckily it didn’t last long though (and, as those of you who have done the training or read the book will know, intentional!), as he soon collected the kinaesthetic amongst the group and dragged them into the pleasantly

rapid fi re visual world of people like me. For the next three days I was spellbound as David weaved his magic and challenged us to use our brains in a different way. We learned about representational systems, energy, metaphors and dozens of other skills and techniques from the fascinating world of NLP. We learnt about anchoring and how to use different parts of the stage for different learning processes. It was the most interesting, fascinating, thought provoking 3 day course I had ever done and it was also quite a challenge! David’s combination of humour, charm and depth of knowledge about NLP in the context of developing Presenting Skills was truly awesome.

As I drove up Chiswick High Street towards the Vencourt Hotel sometime in March 2004, I remember looking forward to Practitioner Training very much. I must admit that I felt slightly uneasy about not completing all of the required test questions though I had listened to the pre-course tapes and so had a fair idea of what to expect. I met David and the team of coaches as I entered the training room and immediately felt that I was in the right place at the right time. I was completely blown away by the training! The combination of NLP, Time

Line Therapy™ and Hypnosis is quite literally mind bending. I don’t think that it is possible to change more neurological connections in 7 days than with The Performance Partnership’s NLP Practitioner Certifi cation training. Be warned - life will never be the same again! I clearly remember David as being truly inspirational, having a huge depth of knowledge sprinkled with personal anecdotes made the whole experience great fun.

Six months later, same place and many of the same people found ourselves checking in for the NLP Master Practitioner Training. Met on arrival by the Coaching Team and, having suffered for not bringing a complete

NLP Training with the Performance Partnershipand David Shephard

“ Be warned - life will never be the same again”

TRAINING & WORKSHOPS


test paper for Practitioner training, I had taken the trouble to fi nish the test paper! I remember really looking forward to the training though it was hard to imagine how anything was going to be more impressive than the NLP Practitioner Training. Wrong again... the Master Practitioner training is divided into 2 separate training weeks with a day off in the middle. Each week is balanced with the right mixture of theory and exercises and the whole thing is set up by David with the elegance and precision of a Swiss watch. The fi rst week fi nishes with a board break and the second with a heavily supervised student to student Breakthrough Session. The whole thing was an amazing experience and a fantastic tool for personal empowerment. Assisted by the coaches and orchestrated by David in a unique stylish manner that made it easy to learn and great fun to be part of.

I simply now had to do Trainers Training and I had to do it with The Performance Partnership. By now I was getting to know David and the team quite well as I had done

quite a bit of Coaching on other trainings. As an experienced presenter and trainer, I was looking forward to NLP Trainers’ Training and was pleased that a number of old friends were on the same course. Consistent with my Performance Partnership experience, the Training was another David Shephard tour de force - the better presenter you were, the harder you got pushed; when you needed help you got it and when your bar needed to be set higher, that’s exactly what happened. Recently I worked for a short time with The Performance Partnership to get some experience of the NLP Industry and got to know David Shephard the person rather than the stage presenter. Guess what? They are exactly the same! Unlike some presenters, David doesn’t change personality on and off stage. Clever, funny, generous and caring, though with a hard edge when required. David Shephard is without doubt the most amazing teacher I have met and The Performance Partnership’s brand of NLP is a fantastic way to learn about a fascinating subject.

Since doing Trainers’ Training I have left the Royal Air Force, formed my own Training and Coaching Company (www.thetranceformingteam.com.) and, with the continued guidance and advice of David Shephard and other colleagues in The Performance Partnership, have started running my own business. I have run 2 NLP Practitioner Certifi cation trainings, modestly sized though with great feed back and I have done a number of Breakthrough Sessions as well as individual performance coaching with 2 professional golfers with great results. Yesterday I secured a 60 day training contract with a public sector organisation of 1000 people! Also planned for this year are another NLP Practitioner training in June and a sports coach performance certifi cation for professional golfers in late April.

Not only did I learn NLP and “a few platform skills”, what I learnt from The Performance Partnership and, with their ongoing support, I have been adequately armed with the skills and resources to change my career and get off to a running start! In keeping with that well - known phrase. “Just do it!”Peter Strachan of The Tranceforming Team Trainer of NLP, Hypnosis and Time Line Therapy™www.thetranceformingteam.comenquiries@thetranceformingteam.comTel: +44 (0) 7747 634397 0r +44 (0) 1296 586441

DIARY


Diary of Events for Spring / Summer 2007APRIL 07NLP Practitioner - Module 17-8th April 2007StaffordshireInner Game01839 808 [email protected]

Welcome Your Hearts Desire - A Two Day Evening Seminar with La Rue Eppler18-19th April 2007ChichesterEmily and Roger Terry01243 [email protected]

Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certifi cation15-21st April 2007LondonColette White0207 249 5051colette@infi niteexcellence.com

Education & Training NLP Diploma (Accredited Programme)16-17th April 2007BradfordKevin Downsworth01274 585160kdownsworth.fi [email protected]

NLP Coaching Supervision18th April 2007BedfordshireMelody Cheal01767 [email protected]

Business Coaching Diploma19-23rd April 2007Harrogate North YorkshireSonia Marie Saxton07932 [email protected]

Personal Evolution with La Rue Eppler21st April 2007ChichesterEmily and Roger Terry01243 [email protected]

NLP Master Practitioner Module 120-27th April 2007New ForrestEmma Sargent and Tim Fearon01425 [email protected]

Time Line Therapy® Practitioner21-22nd April 2007LondonJeremy Lazarus020 8349 [email protected]

The Essential Listener with La Rue Eppler22nd April 2007ChichesterEmily and Roger Terry01243 [email protected]

NLP Déjà Vu Day Strategies & Modelling23rd April 2007BedfordshireMelody Cheal01767 [email protected]

Modelling Excellence27-30th April 2007ManchesterAndy Smith0845 83 855 [email protected]

DIARY


SoulTalk with La Rue Eppler28th April 2007ChichesterEmily and Roger Terry01243 [email protected]

Accelerated NLP Master Practitioner Certifi cation28th April - 11th May 2007NottinghamColette White0207 249 5051colette@infi niteexcellence.com

MAY 07Practitioner Foundation7-8th May 2007Milton KeynesMichael Beale01908 [email protected]

Words That Change Minds - LAB Profi le Practitioner Certifi cation9-11th May 2007Haslemere, SurreyGrahame C Morgan-Watson0844 477 [email protected]

One day Introduction to NLP12th May 2007LondonHelen Drake0208 995 [email protected]

NLP Practitioner12-18th May 2007SussexTerry Elston0800 074 [email protected]

NLP and Abundance Consciousness13th May 2007BedfordshireMelody Cheal01767 [email protected]

Dyslexia Coaching Programme21-24th May 2007Glasgow, ScotlandJeff Goodwin0870 060 [email protected]

NLP Diploma for Health Care Practitioners24th May - 15th June 2007LondonSuzanne Henwood07723 [email protected]

Master Practitioner - in TURKEY!26th May - 9th June 2007Istanbul, TurkeyRalph Watson01788 [email protected]

Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certifi cation26th May - 1st June 2007SouthamptonColette White0207 249 5051colette@infi niteexcellence.com

Certifi ed NLP Sports Practitioner31st May - 1st June 2007LondonJeremy Lazarus020 8349 [email protected]

JUNE 07Advanced Coaching 1-4th June 2007ManchesterAndy Smith0845 83 855 [email protected]

Coaching Skills for NLP’ers2-3rd June 2007LondonPerformance Partnership0208 992 [email protected]

Selling Magically4-5th June 2007LondonPerformance Partnership0208 992 [email protected]

NLP Practitioner - Create Elegant Change - Module 18-11th June 2007ChichesterEmily and Roger Terry01243 [email protected]

Introduction to NLP9th June 2007LondonHelen Drake0208 995 [email protected]

Master Practitioner Change Management course11-13th June 2007Milton KeynesMichael Beale01908 [email protected]

NLP for Trainers and Training14-15th June 2007BathFaith Tait01225 [email protected]

Master Hypnotist- Master Classes with Roger Terry15th June 2007ChichesterRoger Terry01243 [email protected]

Presenting Magically16-18th June 2007LondonPerformance Partnership0208 992 [email protected] Master Practitioner16th-24th June 2007BedfordshireMelody Cheal01767 [email protected]

NLP Coaching Supervision18th June 2007BedfordshireMelody Cheal01767 [email protected]

Transforming Self-Concept22-24th June 2007ManchesterAndy Smith0845 83 855 [email protected]

NLP Diploma - Part 123-24th June 2007MiddlesbroughLisa Wake01642 [email protected]

Introduction to NLP27th JuneMiddlesbroughLisa Wake01642 [email protected]

Accelerated NLP Practitioner Certifi cation23-29th June 2007LondonColette White0207 249 5051colette@infi niteexcellence.com

Master Practitioner 30th June - 13th July 2007SussexTerry Elston0800 074 [email protected]

NLP Practitioner30th June - 6th July 2007LondonPerformance Partnership0208 992 [email protected]

JULY 07Certifi ed NLP Practitioner for Business5-31st July 2007Institute of Directors, ReadingDarryl Scott0845 089 [email protected]

NLP Practitioner intensive9-15th July 2007BrightonSusanna Bellini01904 [email protected]

Trainer Training14-18th July 2007West MidlandsRalph [email protected]

To get your workshops and events listed in Rapport, log in as a member to www.anlp.org and enter your events into the online diary. Every issue, online events listed for the next 3 months will be included in Rapport.

AwakenSchoolof Outcome Oriented Psychotherapies Limited

UKCP Accreditation Pathway

t Are you interested in becoming a

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Awaken School (formerly Centre Training) is a Member Organisation of UKCP and currently provides training for students who are working towards UKCP accreditation.

This 4 year academic pathway, in addition to your vocational supervision and client contact hours, will provide the necessary expertise to take your practice to the next level.

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Students who may have already taken suitable training may be eligible for APL. Such requests are treated on a case by case basis. Please contact the offi ce for further information.

MSc in PsychotherapyAre you interested in a MSc in Psychotherapy?

Awaken School are teaming up with a University to develop a pathway to a MSc in psychotherapy.To express interest in the programme, please contact the offi ce on the number below.

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BOOK REVIEWS

This is an excellent book, bringing NLP alive for those already working in the health care professions and those just entering their careers. Full of case studies showing the practical application of NLP tools across the health care environment, this book has the potential to empower individuals and teams to re look at what they really do in clinical practice and explore how they can be even more effective in ensuring high quality patient care.The book is written in such a way that it is accessible to all, it is very much a practical toolkit which can be dipped in and out of, as well as read from start to fi nish by those wishing to follow a ‘process of development’.

Although a prior understanding of some NLP and Coach U techniques might be helpful, it is not required in order to interact with the tools and techniques outlined. The tools are clearly explained and the use of the associated website to provide blank versions of some of the tools is a real added benefi t.As both a health care practitioner and a user of health care services, I would want the staff treating me to have read and used the tools outlined in this book as part of their Continuing Professional Development (CPD). This is a must for any one who is passionate about really providing expert patient care and managing and developing effective health care services.

NLP and Coaching for Health Care Professionals: Developing Expert PracticeSuzanne Henwood and Jim Lister £24.99, Wiley

In the world of NLP we all love a good book and have a constant thirst for more knowledge and skills. To help quench some of that thirst have you considered becoming a member of the Rapport Book Review Panel? This would give you

the ideal opportunity to read and review some of the leading self-help, personal development, coaching and business publications as and when they are published. Find out more by contacting us on 0208 275 1175 or by email to [email protected]

When I was given this book to review, I wished I’d had it nearly 3 years ago when I was just starting out. But McNamara blends practical marketing and publicity advice for coaches at each (pre-launch, launch and maturity) phase of their career.One of The Coaching Academy’s biggest success stories, McNamara coaches their current coaching students in marketing. Niche Marketing for Coaches allows people from other coaching and NLP backgrounds to benefi t from her expertise as she guides them through the practicalities of marketing, sales, PR and even networking.McNamara says that many of the coaches she meets want to be “The next” Anthony Robbins or Fiona Harrold. Asking why so few want to be the

best they can be she challenges readers to discover and play to their own strengths.Up until now, I’ve been happily combining numerous niches (writers, entrepreneurs, coaches...) but through reading this book, realised that the heart of all my coaching is helping clients build confi dence and self-esteem. So inspired by McNamara, I’ve started emphasising Confi dence Coaching on my marketing. And even in the past few days, I’ve noticed a boost.Unless you’re already turning clients away on a daily basis, I’d recommend this book for any coach or NLP Practitioner. Whether you’re just starting out or have been coaching for decades, it’s the kind of gem you can get new ideas from each time you pick it up.

Join the Rapport Book Review Panel

Niche Marketing for CoachesHannah McNamara £14.99, Thorogood

rapport book review

NLP andCoaching forHealth Care Professionals

SUZANNE HENWOOD JIM LISTER

DEVELOPING EXPERT PRACTICE


AUTHOR INTERVIEW


Octavius BlackAll present and connect! Octavius Black, managing director and co-founder of The Mind Gym outlines his winning formula for building Rapport.Joanna Goodman reports

The Mind Gym is more than a book; it’s a self-help toolkit which includes access to interactive learning resources and

membership of an extremely active online community. According to The Mind Gym’s founder and co-author, Octavius Black, its mission is to help people use their minds more effectively to get more out of life and give more to others. Inside each book is a code which gives the reader free access to the Mind Gym’s website - a virtual gym membership - where you can access the equipment and resources that match your needs. You can either choose to discuss an issue with others in the forums or work through it on your own with online tools and techniques. In addition to online guidance and advice for individuals and organisations, the business section of the website offers organisations more than 80 on-site 90-minute workouts, 45-minute sprints and boosters to reinforce previous learning. The Mind Gym runs these bite-size face-to-face training sessions with colourful titles like, ‘Me, Me, Me’, ‘Create your own Luck’ and even ‘Rapport’, all over the world - from LA to Tokyo - and so far, about 150,000 people have participated.

The decade of the mindThe Mind Gym evolved from thinking about the way trends and fashions develop. “The 80s

was the decade of the body,” says Black. “For the fi rst time, people were exercising for reasons other than sport. The 90s was the decade of the soul, with renewed interest in yoga, feng shui and alternative medicine. We hypothesised, therefore, that the 2000s would be the decade of the mind. So society’s focus has shifted from the body to the spirit and now to the mind.”

The Mind Gym was designed specifi cally to respond to the desire of people in the 21st century to develop and improve their minds, and to date the book has sold over 250,000 copies worldwide and has been translated into 23 languages. Indeed, it was number two in Amazon’s bestsellers list (number one was Harry Potter). A second book, ‘Give Me Time’ was published in 2006 offers tools and tactics - again supported by online resources - to address another modern dilemma.

Online workoutsBlack explains that the books and website were developed simultaneously and designed to complement each other. “We wanted to give readers something extra,” he explains. “If you like, when you buy ‘The Mind Gym’ you’re buying membership to a gym rather than just a book.”

The fact that The Mind Gym book and website represent an interactive toolkit rather than a conventional self-help book means that

you can either reading it in a linear fashion or use it to address specifi c concerns. You can choose from four standard programmes:1. Get what you want For people who know what they want, but don’t know how to get it2. Be liked For people who would like more friends, allies and acquaintances3. Be respected For people who want to be admired, or at least treated as an equal4. Ride the storm For people who want to be ready to deal with unexpected challenges

Alternatively, you can complete a questionnaire and use the results to create your own tailor-made programme.

Applied psychologyBlack’s background is in business communications, while his co-founder Seb Bailey trained as a psychologist. They are also advised by a team of four psychology professors. So although The Mind Gym is written in an immensely readable and gently humorous style, which touches on countless common cultural references - well-known TV programmes and personalities, movies and pop songs - it is founded on serious scientifi c research, which is referenced periodically. “We’ve recently launched the largest prize in Europe for new research in practical psychology which is being sponsored by The Times,” adds

AUTHOR INTERVIEW


that you don’t know everything. People often feel nervous and enter a discussion feeling that they have lower status because they don’t have all the answers. It’s important to start off by matching status.”

Another common challenge is to avoid envisaging worst-case scenarios. “By and large, people worry too much about catastrophic fantasies,” says Black, reassuringly. “It’s better to just give things a go.”

The Mind Gym is an easy read, explaining the often complex concepts of applied psychology in a straightforward, easy-listening way and using them to address every day worries - being delayed by traffi c, facing a big credit card bill, delivering bad news or coping with a sick relative. It’s full of interesting anecdotes and the ideal travelling companion as you can dip in and out of it. But the concept comes into its own when you log onto the website, which reinforces the resources in the book and brings them to life. For example, visualisation - another NLP tool - is demonstrated extremely effectively by a short recording called ‘Now wash your hands’, which I found a welcome respite from the keyboard.

As well as offering entertaining, interactive tools to help you connect with yourself through questionnaires, online analysis and fun - for instance you can design your own online persona - The Mind Gym website also provides a channel for readers to connect with each other and share advice opinions and inspiration: the community aspect of a health club without the communal changing rooms, as one commentator wittily puts it. This includes a ‘Like Minds’ section, where you can communicate with other people who share your interests. Unsurprisingly, the most common interest is psychology and hundreds of people log on every day either to write blogs or post comments on the various forums. “Anyone can sign up on the website for free, so readers of Rapport can sign up, meet other people, share ideas and learn,” says Black. “The magic is that we’re all learning from each other.”

The Mind Gym: wake your mind up, £12.99, Time Warner books www.themindgym.com

AUTHOR INTERVIEW

Black. “We very much want to put back into the academic world as well as draw from it.”

Building rapportLike NLP, The Mind Gym’s roots are in applied psychology, so there is a close correlation between its content and NLP tools and tactics. For example, the Rapport workout is based on the same research fi ndings on matching and mirroring that underpins NLP techniques.

The Mind Gym has distilled achieving rapport in the workplace down to four key elements:1. Matching and mismatching;2. Likes and wishes;3. A purpose beyond pleasing others; 4. Confi dent uncertainty.

The workout includes a practical exercise on matching which highlights how our body language affects the way we relate to others. “We get participants to agree on something,” explains Black. “First they have to agree while matching and then while mismatching. They are then asked to disagree on something. Half

the time they have to match and half the time they have to mismatch. This demonstrates that we tend to feel that the other person agrees when they’re matching us, irrespective of whether or not they’re actually agreeing. Similarly, we tend to feel that the other person is disagreeing when they’re mismatching.” The aim is to raise people’s consciousness of their own and other people’s body language and to demonstrate that, so long as you don’t overdo it, matching and mirroring tends to encourage positive feelings in others.

Likes and wishesAnother technique is designed to maintain

rapport even when you disagree. “The best way to reject a suggestion or idea is to respond by identifying three things you like about it followed by three things you wish were different,” he explains. “Rather than simply stating what’s wrong with their idea, if you tell them three things that you like about it, they’re much more likely to listen and you’re much more likely to build rapport with them. But it’s crucial to remember that it’s not about likes and dislikes; it’s about likes and wishes.”

Creating presenceMany people fi nd it diffi cult to connect with senior people in the workplace. Black explains that this is a matter of building presence, which in many ways is the opposite of achieving rapport. “It often involves a lot of mismatching,” he says. “Our 90-minute workout on building presence teaches people to align their mismatching in order to make an impact. The key is to have a purpose beyond pleasing the other person.”

While NLP tends to focus on aligning yourself with other people’s model of the world

in order to connect with them and build rapport, Black believes that creating presence requires

having a sense of purpose beyond pleasing others. “If you’re trying to convince your boss to do something, your purpose may be to improve effi ciency or client service. You’re not simply trying to convince your boss that what you suggest is the right thing to do,” he explains. “It’s therefore important not to give the impression that their view is the only one that counts, but rather explain how you’re proposal will help the organisation achieve its objectives. The key is to have a sense of direction and not to be forever trying to please people. We call it confi dent uncertainty. That means being confi dent that you can deal with whatever situation arises, while acknowledging


“ Creating presence requires having a sense of purpose beyond pleasing others”

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THE Stress Conference“Leading the Way”

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Visit www.isma.org.uk for full details and booking form or contact David Moore on Telephone 07000 780430

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CLASSIFIEDS


REGIONAL GROUPS

rapport networking contact


England - NorthHarrogate Practice GroupElizabeth PritchardTel: 01326 212 [email protected]

Lancaster Practice GroupDave AllawayTel: 01524 847 070E: [email protected]

Lancs - Nr ClitheroeDawn HaworthTel: 01254 824 504Email: [email protected]

Leeds - West YorkshireLiz TolchardTel: 01943 873 895Mob: 07909 911 769Email: [email protected]

Manchester Business NLP and Emotional Intelligence GroupAndy SmithTel: 0845 83 855 83Email: [email protected]

Manchester NLP GroupGary PlunkettTel: 08707 570292Email: [email protected] [email protected]

Newcastle Upon TynePhilip BrownTel: 0191 456 3930Mob: 0777 228 1035

North YorkshireLisa & Mark WakeTel: 016242 310 022Email: [email protected]

North Yorkshire, HarrogateSonia Marie SaxtonTel: 07932 637197Email: [email protected]

North Cumbria - CarlisleAnne Munro-Kua & Adrian BangerTel: 01228 517 716Email: [email protected] www.annemunro-kua.com

North West & North Wales (Chester)Gary PlunkettTel: 08707 570 292Email: [email protected] [email protected]

YorkSusanna Bellini & Philip CallaghanTel: 01904 636 216Email: [email protected]/nlp_group.shtml

England - SouthBedfordshireMelody ChealTel: 01767 640956Email: [email protected]

Berks - ReadingAnne-Marie HalliwellTel: 01189 831659/01189 835 202Mob: 07778 150641Email: [email protected]

Bucks - Milton KeynesMichael BealeTel: 01908 506563Mob: 07944 388621Email: [email protected] www.ppimk.com

Bucks NLP & CoachingAlison MatthewsTel: 07976 246151Email: [email protected]

ChiswickJonathan BowderTel: 0208 992 9523Email: Jonathan@performancepartnership.comwww.performancepartnership.comThe Performance Partnership NLP group run by Jonathan Bowder

Hants - NLP SouthNigel HeathTel: 01794 390 651Email: [email protected]

HertfordshireYour Life Matters NLP & Hypnosis practice groupMick McEvoyTel: 0208 387 0277Mob: 07973 386 639Email: [email protected]

London - HampsteadNajma ZamanTel: 020 8926 1297mob: 07950477318Email: fi [email protected]

London - CentralAdrian Hope-LewisTel: 07970 639552Mob: 07970 639552www.nlpgroup.freeserve.co.uk

London - Central (Business)Mark UnderwoodTel: 020 7249 7472

London East - Stratford, E15Sharon EdenTel: 020 8597 9200Email: [email protected]

NLP from the heart and from the heart of Scotland’s capital, that is what the Edinburgh

Centre of Excellence practice group is all about. Formed in 2002 and led by Michael Spence, the group is open to anyone who shares an interest in NLP or even just a curiosity. It’s also a great platform for support for those going through both modular Practitioner and Master Training programmes.

The group meets on the fi rst Friday of every month from 7.00 till 9.00 in Edinburgh. The topics and subjects discussed and practiced are decided by those attending to avoid becoming a study group. The discussions are varied, lively, informative, thought provoking with lots of fun and laughter along the way. Yes, NLP can be fun and we have that in abundance! With NLP being an never ending journey we will be NLP’ing forever! What a lovely thought...

Michael Spence talks about NLP in Edinburgh

Practice Group of the month

An off-shoot of the group is the Taster Evenings to welcome people who have never heard of NLP let alone know what it is. These sessions are informative, fun and give people a few tasty bites to take away and enjoy.

2007 sees further development with our NLP Picnic - an open invitation to bring your family and your picnic and have a bit of fun with NLP. We will also be providing A Taste Of NLP - 2 hours sessions during the Edinburgh International Festival. Together with the launch of our Glasgow and Perth groups it is another challenge for this year.

So, if you are in Scotland get in touch and visit us. You can be assured of a very warm welcome.

Michael is a Certifi ed NLP Trainer and can be contacted on 0131 664 7854 or [email protected] warmest wishes to you all.Michael Spence

REGIONAL GROUPS


Practice Groups meet regularly and give you the chance to share experiences with like minded individuals and fellow professionals. They also offer you the opportunity to further your knowledge and add to your Continual Professional Development (CPD) through informed lectures and workshops.

For further information on the Practice Groups listed, please log on to our website, www.anlp.org

If you would like to add your Practice Group to this list or change existing details, please contact Lala on 020 8275 1175 or email [email protected].

London NLP & Hypnosis Practice GroupPhillip HoltTel: 08451 306213Mob: 07061 003 003Email: [email protected] www.nlp-london.com

London - Central/NorthPractitioners and above onlyJeremy LazarusTel: 020 8349 2929Email: [email protected]

London West - Richmond NLP Group (Skills and Practice Group & Speaker Sessions)Henrietta LaittTel: 0208 874 8203Mob: 07880 614 040Email: [email protected]

North London NLPTom MacKayTel: 07815 879 055Email: [email protected]

OxfordJan FreestonTel: 01865 516 [email protected]

South East London & CitySimon HedleyTel: 07930 275 223Email: [email protected]/londonnlppracticegroup.htmwww.ultimatecalm.com

South London NLP Practice GroupElizabeth Petch & Richard HaganTel: 07747 607 717Email: [email protected]

South CroydonDavid HamiltonTel: 020 8686 9952Email: [email protected]

Sussex - Brighton Association of NLP PractitionersTerry ElstonTel: 0800 074 6425Email: enquiries@nlpworld.co.ukwww.nlpworld.co.ukwww.nlp-brighton-assoc.org

Sussex - BrightonKatie BickerdikeTel:01903 821 172Mob: 07903 564 760Email: [email protected]/nlp

Sussex - ChichesterRoger and Emily TerryTel: 01243 792 122Mob: 07810 876 210Email: [email protected]

Sussex - WorthingEmail: [email protected]

West Sussex - ChichesterAndrew T. AustinEmail: [email protected]

England - EastCambridgeshirePhil JonesTel: 07711 711 123Email: [email protected]

Colchester NLP GroupJulian CampbellTel: 01473 326980Mob: 07710 781782Email: [email protected]/colnlp.html

Essex - SouthendPauline OliverTel: 01702 203465

IpswichSteve MarsdenTel:01473 214923 (Steve)Email: [email protected]

Redbridge - IlfordGlenda YearwoodTel: 020 8708 3876Email: [email protected]

England - WestAvon - BathPhilippe RoyTel: 01225 404 050Email: [email protected]

Bath NLP Skills BuilderBen ReeveTel: 01823 334 080Email: [email protected]

BristolDavid Griffi thsTel: 01179 423 310Email: [email protected]

Cornwall Practice GroupElizabeth PritchardTel: 01326 212 [email protected]

Devon - South-West (totnes) NLP Support GroupAlice Llewellyn & Anna Scott-HeywardTel: 01803 866706/01803 323885

Devon - TorquayChris WilliamsTel: 0781 354 9073

Devon & Cornwall NLP Practice GroupNick EvansTel: 01752 245 570Mob: 07832 357 208Email: [email protected]

DorsetJohn Chisholm or Brian MortonTel: 01202 42 42 50Email: [email protected]@btinternet.comwww.nlpdorset.co.uk

England - MidlandsEast Midlands NLP GroupWilliam WoodTel: 01332 347141 x2556/01332 669364

Midlands - BirminghamMandy WardTel: 0121 625 7193Mob: 07740 075669Email: [email protected]

Northants - NorthamptonRon Sheffi eldTel: 01604 812800Email: ronald.sheffi [email protected]

NottinghamTimothy MorrellTel: 07810 484 215 Email: [email protected]

West Midlands - WorcestershireSharon Rooke & David SmallwoodTel:01905 352 882Email: [email protected]@centralnlp.co.ukwww.SCRassociates.com

ScotlandAberdeenChristine BurgessTel: 01309 676 004Email: [email protected]

Edinburgh Centre of Excellence Practice GroupMichael SpenceTel: 0131 664 [email protected]

Edinburgh NLP Practice GroupPatrick Wheatley & Sheena WheatleyTel: 07765244030/0131 664 4344Email: [email protected] [email protected]

GlasgowMina McGuiganTel: 01236 610 949Mob: 07916 275 605Email: [email protected]

Glasgow - NLP in EducationJeff GoodwinTel: 0870 060 1549/0141 248 6484Email: [email protected]

Inverness (Highlands of Scotland)Rosie O’HaraTel: 01309 676 004Email: [email protected]

WalesShropshire & Mid Wales Practice GroupNick GreerTel: 01743 361133Email: [email protected]

Non-consensual coaching

How to avoid potential pitfalls and handle intrusive networkers gracefully by Eve Menezes Cunningham

H ave you ever struggled to hide a refl exive fl inch when someone tells you

that they are a business coach at a networking event? A life coach and business coach myself, I fi nally understand why so many people are wary.

At a recent event, an executive coach kept interrupting the speaker and everyone else in the group with incessant “insights” and “challenges”. After an exhausting few hours, I realised that he’d been trying to impress everyone with his dynamic approach. Instead, he had alienated most of the group (including other coaches like myself).

Coaching is mainly about listening and asking the right kind of questions. Clients have to be incredibly motivated to make lasting changes so this kind of ambush was not the best formed outcome.

Yet many coaches fall into this

trap (as do, to a lesser degree, therapists who want to fi x everyone, accountants who think nothing of asking strangers about their earnings and so on) when polite conversation would leave a much better impression.

If you’re cringing with recognition, don’t worry. Most coaches and NLP Practitioners are motivated by a desire to help other people. It’s just a matter of making sure that your help is wanted.

Next time you talk to someone at a networking event - or even in your home - remember to listen more than you talk. As the old expression goes, we have two ears and one mouth and should use them accordingly. Be aware of any urges you have to jump in with suggestions and advice but don’t give into them unless you’re specifi cally asked.

Act as if the person you’re talking to is already a client. You wouldn’t boss a client around -

you’d encourage and support them in fi nding their own solutions. Use your highly developed listening skills to let networkers open up to you, if they want to, at their own pace.

This is far more likely to leave them with a positive impression of you. And if they decide they want coaching in the future, they’ll remember the great rapport they had with you too, as they think about how easy it was to talk to you. The last thing you want is for people to feel hassled or bullied.

And if you’re ever on the receiving end of some non-consensual coaching (and running away isn’t an option) take a deep breath and remember that whatever they’re saying about your life isn’t actually about you - they don’t know you. Treat it as you would any kind of feedback. If they say something useful that you want to take from it, great. If not, don’t waste too much energy

ENDNOTE


thinking about it - let it go. If this feels impossible, smile sweetly and simply say that you don’t need / already have a coach.

In my recent situation, although I remained outwardly polite and interested, I noticed myself becoming increasingly irritated and even defensive while the compulsive coach’s attention was focused on my (unknown to him) life. But when he focused on another networker, I realised that it was just his way. With a couple of surreptitious deep breaths, my irritation turned to amusement. I watched admiringly as the other networker kept repeating that she was perfectly happy with the way her business was working at the moment.

This reminded me that changing our response to things is a powerful choice. When I became the focus again later on, my change in attitude and remaining amusement meant that he quickly moved on to someone else.

Rapport Spring 2007

Documents

Transcript of Rapport Spring 2007