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2/9Rolling Stone, December 25, 2008-January 8, 2009 71

caped crusaders

Master Legend (right)

and Ace Gauge at home

in Winter Park, Florida


3/9

MASTER LEGEND

Consortium in San Diego and the tauto-

logically titled Justice Society o Justice inIndianapolis. Attempting to unite all thesuperheroes under one banner are groupslike the World Heroes Organization andHeroes Network, which hosts an onlineorum where more than 200 crime ght-ers trade tactics (should I wear a mask?),patrolling tips (how do I identiy a streetgang?) and advice/eedback (can you getbulletproo vests on eBay?).

The Justice Force is Master Legendsown crime-ghting syndicate, a rotatingcast o ad hoc superheroes that seems toinclude everyone he knows. Theres theDisabler, Genius Jim, the Black Panther

M aster legend racesout the door o his secrethide-out, res up the Bat-tle Truck and summonshis trusty sidekick. Come

on, Ace! he yells. Time to head into theshadows!The Ace appears wearing his lame-

accented mask and leather vest; MasterLegend is costumed in his signature sil-ver and black regalia. This is puncture-resistant rubber, Master Legend saysproudly, pointing at his homemade breast-plate. His arms are covered with soccershinguards that have been painted silverto match his mask. It wont stop a bullet,he says, but it will defect knives.

Not that any villains knives have evergotten that close! the Ace chimes in.

When Master Legend bursts into asprint, as he oten does, his long, unrulyhair fows behind him. His mane is also inmotion when hes behind the wheel o theBattle Truck, a 1986 Nissan pickup witha missing rear window and ML spray-painted on the hood. He and the Ace heado to patrol their neighborhood on the out-skirts o Orlando, scanning the street orevildoers. I dont go looking or trouble,Master Legend shouts above the engine.But i you want some, youll get it!

Then he hands me his business card,which says:

master legend

real lie super heroat your servicel ike other rea l lie super-heroes, Master Legend is notan orphan rom a distant dyingsun or the mutated product oa gamma-ray experiment gone

awry. He is not an eccentric billionairemoonlighting as a crime ghter. He is, ashe puts it, just a man hellbent on battlingevil. Although Master Legend was one othe rst to call himsel a Real Lie Super-hero, in recent years a growing network o

similarly homespun caped crusaders hasemerged across the country. Some wereinspired by 9/11. I malevolent individu-als can threaten the world, the argumentgoes, why cant other individuals step upto save it? What is Osama bin Laden inot a supervillain, o in his cave, schem-ing to destroy us? asks Green Scorpion, amasked avenger in Arizona. True to comic- book tradition, each superhero has hisown aesthetic. Green Scorpions name isderived rom his desert home, rom whichhe recently issued a proclamation to thecriminals o Arizona and beyond, warn-ing that to continue illegal activities is to

risk the Sting o the Green Scorpion!The Eye takes his cue rom the primor-dial era o Detective Comics, prowling

Mountain View, Caliornia, in a trench

coat, goggles and a black edora eaturinga sel-designed logo: the all-seeing Eyeo Horus. Superhero his ull name isa ormer wrestler rom Clearwater, Flor-ida, who wears red and blue spandex anda burgundy helicopter helmet, and drivesa 1975 Corvette Stingray customized withlicense plates that read suprhro.

Most Real Lie Superheroes are listed onthe World Superhero Registry, a recentlyassembled online roster. (I cant say i Iwill ever ght an army o giant robots ora criminal mastermind, an Indianapo-lis superhero called Mr. Silent notes in hisentry. I just dont know.) Some superhe-

roes have joined orces in local crime-ght-ing syndicates: the Black Monday Societyin Salt Lake City, the Artemis National

Everyone has the opportunity toawaken and become who they alwayswanted to be. Green Scorpion

Writer Joshuah Bearman lives inHollywood. This is his frst story or RS.

72 Rolling Stone, December 25, 2008-January 8, 2009


4/9

and a duo named Fire and Brimstone.

At his right hand is the Ace, so namedbecause he always needs an ace up mysleeve! The Ace lives with Master Legendat the teams secret hide-out, a dilapidat-ed clapboard house in a seedy neighbor-hood outside Orlando. In the back is Mas-ter Legends workshop, a converted garagewhere he develops various weapons, likethe Master Blaster: a six-oot-long silvercannon ueled by cans o Right Guard thatcan shoot a variety o projectiles, includ-ing stun pellets made rom plastic Eastereggs lled with cayenne pepper and rocksalt. As the superheroes see it, the act thatthey cant project energy bolts or summon

orce elds only adds to the purity o theircommitment. Their heroism, in a sense,derives rom their lack o powers. What

they have instead is the power to crat

themselves anew. This whole movementis more than just at guys in spandex, in-sists Superhero, himsel a brawny guy inhead-to-toe spandex.

once you take on a secretidentity, theres the problemo maintaining it. Many RealLie Superheroes shun press.Some are dicult to reach

even by phone. Others allow interviews,but will meet only in costume and in pub-lic. The rst time I meet Master Legendace-to-mask, or example, it is careullychoreographed by him to occur on the

neutral tur o a restaurant in downtownOrlando. I cant show you my ace, hesays as we meet in ront o Ginos Pizza

and Brew, which he has designated as asae zone. And there are only a coupleplaces that will let me in with my uni-orm and mask on. But here they knowall about me!

Why all the secrecy? Compromisedmethods, saety o loved ones the usualissues, according to Master Legend, thatare conronted by superheroes. Dont or-

get, he warns, that the public can be am-bivalent toward masked avengers. Consid-er lovable Spider-Man, constantly acingexposure by his own boss, the irascibleJ. Jonah Jameson. Real Lie Superheroes were alarmed by the sad case o CaptainJackson, a police-sanctioned hero inJackson, Michigan until his DUI arrestand the resulting Jackson Citizen Patri-otheadline: crime fghter busted ordrunken driving. The article went onto unmask Jackson and his sidekicks, theQueen o Hearts and CrimeFighter Girl.Superheroes nationwide were aghast thata town would turn on its heroes like that,and the incident drove skittish superheroesdeeper underground. You can see why Ihave to be careul, says Master Legend.

Behind the counter, the cashier gigglesas Master Legend orders a beer. MasterLegend thanks you, he says, reaching outa gauntleted hand or the beer. When wego upstairs to the small dining room, theyoung couple at a nearby table stop eatingand eye us nervously. Master Legend ges-tures wildly as he shows me the scar romthe time he was shot while saving an oldlady being mugged. They got me here, hesays. But it was small-caliber. Not enough

to take down a superhero! This is howMaster Legend recounts his lie, alwayspunctuated with exclamation points, as ievery moment is a high-stakes ordeal thatends with some deserving oender gettingan all-night tour o Fist City! or the busi-ness end o his trusty ol Steel Toes!

I there existed aMaster Legend Issue 1,it would fash back 26 years to his originstory in New Orleans, where the teenageheros identity was orged in poverty andabuse. My momma and daddy were notgood people, he says. Through them, Isaw how cruel the world can be. At age

15, Master Legend began looking ater hisgrandma, a caring Creole woman romthe bayou who showed him the goodnesso things. When Master Legend oundsome comics in a neighbors trash, theybecame his blueprint. As early as thirdgrade, he used a T-shirt, a magic markerand some old shoelaces to ashion a rudi-mentary costume, which he donned whileprotecting classmates rom the schoolbully. He also ound a mentor named Mas-ter Ray, rom whom he learned kindnessand kung u.

Master Legend was 16 when ate whis-pered in his ear. One day he was playing

guitar in Jackson Square just jamming,you know, picking up some change whena purse snatcher appeared. Master Leg-

Rolling Stone, December 25, 2008-January 8, 2009 73

The arsenalIn his secret hide-out,

Master Legenddisplays one of hisself-crafted crime-

ghting tools.


5/9

MASTER LEGEND

end instinctively tore aterhim through the alleys othe French Quarter, wherehe retrieved the purse. Laterthat night, he was recog-nized by the criminal andought him o again. Thatswhen I knew I had to weara mask, he says. Being in

New Orleans made it easier:I would dress up in a cos-tume and walk the streets,and no one would notice. It right in. The next day,Master Legends grandmaran across a story on thenews: masked man saveswoman. The Legend, hesays, was born.

At Ginos, ater a ew morebeers, Master Legend an-nounces that he must attendto some business back at thesecret hide-out. Ater pay-ing, we cross the street. It isearly evening. The sun hasdipped below Floridas a-ternoon cloud cover, and Master Legendssilver uniorm refects the warm glow othe horizon. He turns and strikes an in-advertently dramatic pose. A passing taxistops, and the driver cranes his neck to seethe spectacle o Master Legend shiningat sunset. Then the driver leans out o thewindow and yells, Master Legend! Howyou doing? Say hello to the Ace!

t he next day, i persuadeMaster Legend to let me visithis secret hide-out. He givesme directions. Or rather, hegives me directions to a nearbyliquor store, and in one last step o cloak-and-dagger maneuvering, he pilots me thenal ew blocks in the Battle Truck, itsrear window destroyed during an attackby a hammer-wielding enemy.

When we arrive, the Ace walks out togreet us. Compared to the Fortress o Sol-itude with its alien zoo or the Batcavestechno-enhanced crime lab, theirs is amodestly appointed superheadquarters.

The pleasant tropical aternoon cant quite

conceal the state o the neighborhood, withits crumbling houses on the verge o beingreclaimed by swampland. Inside the hide-out, a TV is propped up in the corner oncinder blocks. Master Legends mattressis on the foor. The wall is bare other than

a Halloween decoration o a skull. Againstone wall is a olding card table covered witha pile o papers and some ninja stars. I pick

one up, inciting a gleeul demonstration.Just a snap o the wrist! Master Legendsays, sending one fying straight into thear wall. Catch this! yells the Ace, joiningin. Takedown! Master Legend says with aclap when I land one successully. Eventu-ally, Master Legend announces that ninjatime is over, but not beore he reestyles anal behind-the-back throw, nailing theskull on the wall right between the eyes.

Most Real Lie Superheroes compensate

or their lack o Adamantium skeletonsor solar-ueled extraterrestrial strength by claiming extensive martial-arts abili-ties. Master Legends own personal ght-ing style is called The Way o the Dia-mond Spirit, which he says represents an

evolution o hand-to-hand combat. As ito demonstrate, he sends a ew jabs intothe air. One place you dont want to be,

he says, tightening his gloved hand into aclenched st, is on the receiving end o theNo Mercy Punch!

The No Mercy Punch makes manyappearances in the annals o Justice Forcehistory. There was the time Master Leg-end and the Ace shut down a crack den; thedrug kingpin they put out o business; themoney Master Legend orcibly retrievedrom a thie who stole rom a handicapped

Vietnam vet; and the recent mission whenthe Justice Force had to put the stompon a child molester and his gang o crack-heads. They had a plan, but things wentawry when Master Legends brother wascaptured in the thick o battle by the childmolester, whom they call Tree Man Roy.Thats when we went into chaos mode,Master Legend says. But they got his broth-er ree and cut that big ol Tree down.

Master Legend has many more foridtales o adventure, some plausible, likeretrieving a riends stolen money, oth-ers quite outlandish, like the child mo-lester and his gang o crackheads. (For

starters, doesnt it seem like you wouldhave to be one charismatic child molest-er to attract an entire gang o crackheads

VillAinS,BeWARe!Hundreds of costumedcrusaders have registeredas Real Life Superheroes.Among them (clockwisefrom above): GreenScorpion, Superhero, theEye, Professor Widget andCitizen Prime. The mosthigh-tech armor is designedby the Professor, an ultra-clandestine supplier ofcustom equipment who has

pioneered a supposedlybulletproof compoundknown as Mongreltanium.

the coStuMe iS the SouRce of hiSPoWeR: Without it, youRe JuSt

AnotheR do-goodeR SchMuck.


CloCkwisef

romt

opleft:CourtesyofgreensCorpion;CourtesyofsuperHe

ro;miCHelleCompasso/CourtesyoftHeeye;

Courtesyof

professorwidget;CourtesyofCitizenprime


6/9

to do your bidding?) On the olding tablein the hide-out, I notice a police report.It documents the incident with the ham-mer and the Battle Truck. Sure enough, itdescribes how two men were taken intocustody or attacking the inhabitants othe house at this address. Master Legendprovided a statement, below which the o-cer wrote, The hammer was placed into

evidence.Real Lie Superheroes have a conficted

relationship with law enorcement. The

hardcore types have a somewhat dated,Death Wish-era worldview, as i the citiesare overrun by chain-saw-wielding clowngangs and the cops just cant control thestreets anymore. The more civic-minded

superheroes imagine themselves asinormal police adjuncts, a secret soci-ety o costumed McGrus. One o MasterLegends most prized possessions is aramed certicate o commendation romthe Orange County Sheris Department,or the time he and the Disabler snappedinto action ater Hurricane Charley, help-ing to clear the roads and rescue peoplerom the wreckage. We were on the newsand everything, Master Legend says. Thepolice recognized what we did.

Since then, Master Legend claims thathe has developed a police contact on the

inside, his very own Commissioner Gor-don. To prove it, he gives me a phone num-ber. I immediately call and leave a mes-sage; Ive tried to conrm tales rom othersuperheroes, only to discover that the po-lice have never heard o them.

I have riends in high places, MasterLegend promises. When they see the silverand black, they know whos coming.

A

s a mea n s o es ta b-lishing a superhero identity,it is dicult to overstatethe importance o the cos-tume. Real Lie Superheroes

devote much o their time to researching,procuring, making, comparing, ne-tun-ing and otherwise etishizing their looks.

The costume itsel is the radio-active-spider bite, the sourceo their abilities. Without acostume, ater all, youre justanother do-gooder schmuck.Anyone can have this power,Superhero says. All you needto do is tie a towel around yourneck and put a sock over your

head and run out the door.Master Legend oten apol-ogizes or the state o his ownuniorm. Its getting worn, themask peeling in places, andeels unpresentable, like some-one getting married in shorts.He tells me that hes orderednew outts rom Hero Gear, acustom supplier in Minneapo-lis, but high demand is causinga delay. I only they were here,Master Legend says with regret.Youd see a whole new upgradeor the Justice Force!

Such upgrading can getexpensive. Citizen Prime, asuperhero based in Utah, spent$4,000 hiring an armorer toorge a sci-i suit out o platemail (with canary-yellow ac-cents). Green Scorpion has atailored mask rom Proessor Widget, an ultraclandestine

supplier o custom equipment who mys-teriously appeared online not too longago. No one knows who Proessor Widgetis, where he lives or how he operates, saysGreen Scorpion, whose mask is supposed-

ly ormed rom a ballistic alloy that Wid-get pioneered called Mongreltanium. (Itis advertised as bulletproo, which is whyGreen Scorpion paid so much or it, al-though he would like to do his own ballis-tics testing beore ocial deployment.)

Proessor Widget also provides priceytailored gear, like the steel cane with mod-ular nonlethal attachments that GreenScorpion purchased with last years taxrebate. Slightly cheaper are catalogs, which Superhero has used to turn him-sel into a mail-order Batman; his utilitybelt bristles with pellet guns, bear mace, a

tactical baton and the Arma 100, a nitro-gen-powered, 37mm personal cannon.A lot o those guys have quite the

arsenal, Master Legend says in admi-ration as he gives me a tour o his ownweapons lab, housed in a converted ga-rage out back. This is where Master Leg-end tinkers with do-it-yoursel creations,like the Master Blaster and the IronFist, a nasty-looking metal truncheonhe made to t over his hand and deliverthe good old throat slam. These days,budgetary constraints limit him to morebasic gear: a sta, a sword, a good old-ashioned chain and whatever else he can

buy cheaply and modiy.I notice some thick sheaves o oam

on the wall o the lab. Soundproong,



7/9

MASTER LEGEND

Master Legend says. For keeping downthe volume.

During practice, says the Ace.What kind o practice? I ask.The Ace smiles and pantomimes air

guitar.The weapons lab doubles as the practice

room or Master Legends band, which isalso called the Justice Force. The Ace

plays the drums, says Master Legend.I play guitar and sing. The drums arein storage at the moment, but the Aceassures me that the Justice Force has atight set.

This guys wicked on the strings, hesays, pointing at Master Legend. Theresnot a Steely Dan song that me and himcant play.

The Justice Force perorm originals,

too more than 100 songs, all writtenby Master Legend. They recorded a sin-gle, with their riend, another associ-ate known as the Pain. Its called Epic othe Sunrise. Want to hear it? MasterLegend asks.

Back at his computer, Master Legendplays the song and takes me throughthe verses a Manichaean tale o near-apocalypse wherein Master Legend is anagent o redemption. I put how I eel into

music, he says, bobbing along with theris he composed to accompany the grandopera o his lie. There is a good worldout there, and its waiting to be restored.Thats what Im all about. I really hope Ican save the world.

Saving the world, o course,requires personal sacrice.Few Real Lie Superheroeshave amilies. And those withwomen in their lives oten nd

that their higher calling can cause rits.Master Legend has seen a lot o relation-

ships go sour, starting with his wie, whodivorced him 10 years ago. She never be-lieved in what I did, he says. Then therewas his last girlriend. She let becauseshe wanted to sit around on the couchand hold hands. Well, thats not in thecards or Master Legend.

Another casualty o the superhero lie-style is career advancement. Unlike PeterParker, Master Legend has no cover job.He cant hold down a nine-to-ve, he says,because a lie on the precipice o actionmeans always being available to answerthe call. Ill walk right out the door isomeone needs me, he says with a laugh.

Three years o trade school exposed Mas-ter Legend to electronics, welding andother skills he drew on while dabbling

in odd jobs over the years: shrimp sh-ing, tree trimming, roong, salvage work.Lately, hes been working as an assis-tant to elderly people. Here again, Mas-ter Legend nds himsel locked in a battle between good and evil. All these peo-ple are waiting to kick out the old olks,put them in the old-olks home, he says,working himsel up with indignation. But

as long as Im there, they cant! And theyhate me or that. For Master Legend,its all just another type o superheroing.These are the two sides o my lie, whichis really one side, he says, and thats theside o making things right.

The Ace tells me about his conver-sion to the cause one night as we etchsome Chinese takeout to bring back tothe secret hide-out. (Master Legend cant

come with us, because he still wont re-move his mask in my presence.) I metMaster Legend a long time ago, the Acesays. They hit it o at a party, bondingover music, and discovered that they hada lot o mutual riends. Beore that, theAce says, I was married. Had a good job.The Ace made good money setting upstage shows Nickelodeon events, BlueMan Group, that sort o thing. The Aceused to be a perormer himsel. In a sur-

prising digression, he tells me he once leda dance revue called Male Factor. This was beore Chippendales, he remindsme. Not like they do now, with just bumpand grind, and no imagination. We hadchoreographers, like in Vegas. In act, weeven did Vegas! Movies, too. Ever heardoSpring Fever? 1982. Starring SusanAnton. Check it out.

But that was years ago, beore thedivorce. And the brie stint in jail lastyear. I didnt ask exactly how bad thingsgot or the Ace, but eventually his wiesboss moved into his house, and he moved

in with Master Legend. Thats when Igot sucked into the whole Justice Forcething, says the Ace. Hed helped Mas-ter Legend beore, but at a distance andnever in costume. I was getting moreand more involved. Then M.L. got me amask and convinced me to put it on. Andthats when I saw the light. Its a power-ul thing.

Late last year, when the Ace madehis rst public appearance, he worried what other people might think. But inthe protective warmth o the costume, hesays, the ear is quickly overcome. Theresthe fawed you and the good you, he says,

striking a philosophical note. And this he holds up the mask gives us thechance to make up or our faws.

The windows are rolled down, letting inthe sound o cicadas rom the dark stando trees across the empty parking lot. Iknow it sounds silly, he says. But onceyou change someone elses lie, even in asmall way, it makes you realize you canchange things in your own lie.

Back at the secret hide-out,

as we lay out the Chinese easton the table, a riend stops by

or a quick conversation withMaster Legend. It is dusk,and I watch two silhouettes against thetwilight out on the porch, conerringquietly.

That was the Black Panther, Mas-ter Legend says when the riend leaves.The Black Panther doesnt want to getcaught up with the press, so Master Leg-end didnt introduce him to me, but makeno mistake: Black Panther is a JusticeForce ellow traveler. Besides sometimesjamming with the band Black Pantheris known to introduce a reggae vibe hehelps out on missions. Not too long ago,

Black Panther told Master Legend abouta local amily that was having nancialtrouble and was in danger o being evicted.

MASteR legend hAS no full-tiMeJoB, And hiS Wife diVoRced hiM.She neVeR BelieVed in WhAt i did.

Take ThaT, sTaphMaster Legend, under anOrlando overpass, handsout socks to the homelessto ght staph infections.


Jaydelaney


8/9

So Master Legend helped raise money tocover their rent. Sometimes thats all peo-ple need, he says. A little boost.

This generous spirit is what so im-presses the Ace about Master Legend.Hell buy a neighbor groceries i theyrebetween checks, the Ace says. Hed givea guy his last dollar. Ive only known Mas-ter Legend a short time, but Ive noticedthat people are always coming by or call-ing, seeking his advice and help. One o

his neighbors even sends his son over tothe secret hide-out or guidance, whichhe gets in the orm o Master Legendsboundless optimism and personal train-ing in the Way o the Diamond Spirit.

One day last year, Fire alerted MasterLegend to a controversial reeway exten-sion up near Apopka, where the state wasclashing with activists over the plight othe gopher tortoises living on the site. Icouldnt believe it, Master Legend says.These are beautiul prehistoric crea-tures, and they wanted to bury them alivewith cement. Its crazy, but thats the wayo the world. Thats why the world needs

us. The Justice Force joined the protest,costumes and all, and the state was orcedto relocate the tortoises. That was a great

mission, Master Legend says. Thosetortoises are the nicest little guys youdever want to meet. They look like livingcartoons, just eating their lettuce. Theyreadorable.

But nothing is more satisying to Mas-ter Legend than helping those who areless ortunate. On their last big Christ-mas mission, he and the Ace lled the Bat-tle Truck with supplies they bought, hav-ing pooled unds rom the Justice Force,

and headed to skid row. When they ar-rived, they were mobbed. Master Leg-end reckons that they gave something toevery single homeless person in Orlan-do: toothbrushes, razors, soap, blankets,canned goods, cigarettes, candy. Whenthe bags were empty, he and the Ace head-ed back to the secret hide-out to celebratewith a ew beers.

We arent that much better o thanthe people were helping, the Ace notes,gesturing to the squalor o the hide-out.Neither Master Legend nor the Ace re-ceived any Christmas gits themselves,but neither o them is complaining. A lot

o people talk about doing right by otherpeople, says the Ace. But what are theyreally doing?

despite their successes,things have been hard orthe Justice Force lately. Theseare bad times, Master Legendsays, opening a ew thirst

quenchers ater dinner. Ive already no-ticed there are always a ew empty twelverslaying around the secret hide-out. Out-side the ront door, a mountainous pile o

crushed cans suggests that Busch is theJustice Force brand o choice.This is our one vice, Master Legend

says, the ol brewski.Thats right, adds the Ace.With all our aches and pains rom

ghting o so many criminals, we gottahave our beers, Master Legend says.

Hear, hear! The Ace hoists his can.With that, Master Legend unloads about

his troubles. Its tough being a superhero,he says, because your whole lie must belived to a certain standard. Looking outor everyone in the Justice Force involvesa lot o thankless work. And then theresthe wider superhero community, whichhas succumbed to rival actions and bit-ter accusations over who the real super-heroes are and who should lead them togreatness. A superhero named Tothian, who lives with his parents in an undis-closed part o New Jersey, serves as presi-dent o the Heroes Network the sel-pro-claimed United Nations o Superheroes.Tothian has tried to excommunicate sev-eral members, including his ormer part-ner, Chris Guardian, who then co-oundedthe Worldwide Heroes Organization. Morethan a ew Real Lie Superheroes seem like

theyre just one splash o acid in the aceaway rom tormented supervillainy. Sever-al superheroes once suggested kidnappingoreign leaders to make a statement onDarur. Others pointed out that this was (a)illegal and (b) dangerously unheroic. As auniversally respected veteran, Master Leg-end oten plays a diplomatic role, moderat-ing between sides. I dont need any moreproblems rom the superheroes out there,he says. I have plenty right here.

Case in point is the secret hide-out. Imean, look at this place! Master Legendcomplains, acknowledging the disarray.

Its a disaster! The reason, Master Leg-end condes, is that hes being evicted. Thisis the dominant battle in his lie at the mo-ment, one he didnt choose to ght. The se-cret hide-out, it turns out, is a rental. Thestate Department o Transportation hasinvoked eminent domain to widen thereeway, causing a protracted battle. Thisis why the place is empty. Theyre gonnatear down the secret headquarters! Mas-ter Legend says, pounding his beer can onthe table. We have to be ready to leave ina moments notice.

Master Legend notes the irony: Havingdeended the gopher tortoises against a

reeway, Master Legend must now ght thevery same cunning villain again, this timein his own backyard. Its


[Cont. on 122]


9/9

like theyre getting backat me, he says. And believe me, theyrecoming ull orce. Id rather ace a dozenmen with chains in an alley than deal withthe bureaucracy o the state o Florida. Itsa sobering thing, he says, or a superhero tobe constrained by the demands o real lie.

I want to be out there taking care o crim-inals, not packing my stu in boxes.Its the rst time Ive seen Master Leg-

end dispirited. Hes hardly eaten. But he brightens when talking about the newsecret hide-out he just lined up. Its a houseright on the next block. The Ace will movewith him. They have to wait to get theirdisplacement check rom the state, andpay back some people or storage, andthen move their stu in, but i all goes well,theyll be up and running soon.

Master Legend decides we should takea tour o the new secret hide-out. Whenwe get there, the place is empty except ora single ninja star Master Legend placedin the center o the foor as a good-lucktalisman. We see the bedrooms, the hall-way trapdoor (handy in case the duo aresurrounded by an enemy attack) and thegarage that will be transormed into thenew weapons workshop and band-practiceroom. I know this is a shabby, old place,he says. But there is a lot o potential here.Hes already got big plans or a van out-tted to allow Master Legend to emergerom the back on a motorcycle the Leg-end Cycle while the van is moving, likeKnight Rider. Genius Jim, the mechanic,

is already scouring his contacts or the vanand the Enduro two-stroke that he willturn into the Legend Cycle.

Can you imagine what that will belike? Master Legend says. I everythingworks out as planned, there will be nostopping us. Together, he and the Ace ad-mire the empty house with satisaction.Then we go back to their current emptyhouse, where the Ace oers a toast. And weall drink to the new secret hide-out.

Ive orgotten all about masterLegends police contact by the time he

returns my call, several weeks atermy message. This is the Sergeant, he says,asking that his name not be revealed. Iwas shing down in the Keys. What do youwant to know about Master Legend?

The Sergeant tells me that one o his pa-trol ocers came across Master Legendrunning through the bushes in costumeone night. The encounter wound up in areport, and that report wound up on theSergeants desk. The ocer recorded Mas-ter Legends describing how he ghts evilin the streets, and the Sergeant, whos incharge o vice investigations, took a chanceand tracked Master Legend down. Based

on the neighborhood, he gured, MasterLegend might be a good local contact. Andsure enough, the Sergeant tells me, I start

getting calls rom Master Legend with in-ormation. And it checks out. Master Leg-end has helped put away a ew criminals.

I call Master Legend to tell him Ireached the Sergeant. Hes not surprised.I knew he would come through, Mas-ter Legend says. Hes a good guy. Im inthe process o gathering evidence againstsomeone else or him. Master Legend doesthe recon, and the police strike! Just howit ought to be!

When I ask how things are going other-wise, Master Legend drops some bad news:

The Ace moved out. He just wasnt pullinghis weight anymore. He was depressedbecause o his personal stu, Master Leg-end says. I wanted him to start pitchingin. Thats part o getting back to normal. Itwould be good or him. But he was doingless and less, just hanging around all day.

The situation worsened when the Acedidnt show up or a ew Justice Force mis-sions. Suddenly, he wasnt ulilling hisduties as a roommate or as a sidekick. Iwasnt mad, Master Legend says. I justtried to talk to him. We all did. The ThirdEye gave me good advice about how to ap-

proach the situation. But we wound up get-ting in a ght, and the Ace up and movedout. Just like that. Being here was helpingor a while, but I guess he just needs to sortthings out by himsel.

The Ace took his drums, technically dis-banding the sonic wing o the Justice Force,but Master Legend has already ound somenew music partners. Among them is AceGauge, the new sidekick who has assumedthe role o the Ace. The old Justice Forceband, Master Legend says, turned out to bemore o a studio project, whereas this newventure will mean perorming again.

There is just too much going on, Mas-

ter Legend says, to worry about the past.The costume upgrades nally showed up,or one thing, and the two-tone bodysuit,

improved mask and World War II helmetcome together strangely well. Master Leg-end also ound a suitable van and locateda motorcycle. In preparation or deploy-ment, he had a magnet made or the vandoor that says justice orce special op-erations unit. On the world-saving ront,the team is preparing to mount a new typeo mission, a public-relations campaign toraise awareness about a strain o staph in-ection thats spreading among the home-less in the Orlando area. It will be like thegopher-tortoise mission, Master Legend

says, but bigger! The van will be pressedinto service, and Superhero might come inrom Clearwater with his Corvette.

This may be the real reason Master Leg-end inhabits a never-ending comic bookin his mind, assigning everyone a charac-ter in the grand narrative. His roommateturns into the Ace, his mechanic into Gen-ius Jim, and a riend with some recordingequipment into the Pain. And so the reali-ty o Master Legend, a guy who has no joband lives in a run-down house in a crum-my neighborhood in Orlando, is transmut-ed via secret decoder ring into an everlast-

ing tale o heroic outsiders, overcoming theodds and vanquishing enemies.To the outside world, this makes Mas-

ter Legend seem like a lunatic. But to thepeople around him, he is the charismaticcenter o an inviting universe. It sounds alittle silly, Superhero says, but we all want to be part o a better tomorrow.Or, or that matter, a better today. Beinga Real Lie Superhero means that MasterLegend can get in his Nissan pickup andcall it the Battle Truck. He can tape to-gether a potato gun and call it the MasterBlaster. He can stand in the porch light oa disintegrating clapboard house, a beer

in his hand, and behold a glorious clan-destine citadel. And who are we to tellhim otherwise?

ForTress oF

soliTudeMaster Legend andAce Gauge outsidetheir new secretheadquarters

122 Rolling Stone December 25 2008-January 8 2009

stefanruiz

MasTer legend

[Cont. rom 77]

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