A H A N D B O O K F O R P A R E N T S A B O U TC O P I N G W I T H L E A R N I N G D I S A B I L I T I E S

A T E N E O D E M A N I L A U N I V E R S I T YF I N E A R T S B A C H E L O R O F I N F O R M A T I O N D E S I G N

S E N I O R S ’ C R E A T I V E P R O J E C T2 0 1 5

TABLE OF CONTENTS

FOREWORD

WHY YOU?WHAT ARE LEARNING DISABILITIES?5 STAGES OF COPING

GENERAL INSTRUCTIONSPINTEREST

DENIALANGERBARGAININGDEPRESSIONACCEPTANCE

STRESS MANAGEMENT WARNING SIGNS BATTLING STRESS REDUCE STRESS EXTERNALLY REDUCE STRESS INTERNALLY ACTION PL AN

BIBLIOGRAPHY

01

030409

1011

1521273339

444648495051

55

01

Each grade level in school increase its workload as it

progresses. It could be overwhelming for young children to

consistently keep up with its fast pacing, especially if they

have Learning Disabilities. Their tendency to be bullied and

treated as an outcast is relatively high. There might even be

a number of other external and internal influences that add to the pressure they experience. These negative events,

given that they happen during their development period,

leave a huge impact on their sense of self.

To have learning disabilities is a difficult battle a young child has to face. In other words, your child needs you. That is why

it is also vital for you to understand yourself and how you are

coping with your children’s experiences to know how to act

and respond in the most effective way for them.

This is where this handbook could help you. This handbook

bridges the gap between your coping, your child’s coping,

and the actions that you could do that would benefit you both at the same time. In line with the strategically designed

information that provides structure to an otherwise vague

blob of emotions you usually go through, that designer of

this guidebook hopes that it would assist you to

effectively figure out your next steps that would help you help your children.

03

As parents, you are the highest authority in the household,

and the most powerful influence to your children. Children with learning disabilities are vulnerable to your emotional

reactions and harbor their own. With your kids reacting to

your responses, it is your responsibility to start a supportive

cycle rather than a self-degrading, vicious cycle.

To start, you have to understand the experiences of your

children outside the comforts of your home. In a typical

Filipino classroom setting, children with learning

disabilities struggle more in academics and socialization than

their peers. Dr. Roann Munoz Ramos of Psychological

Association of the Philippines further emphasized in her

article entitled No Such Thing as Bobo: Dealing withLearning Disabilities, 40,000 school-aged Filipino children

are struggling with Learning Disabilities according to the

statistical data of the Department of Education. However,

school teachers and the children themselves know little

about these disabilities which results to the kids with

learning disabilities becoming victims of teasing, bullying

and name-calling. If not addressed correctly, these children

may internalize such treatment and view themselves as

stupid people even until adulthood.

With the society unaccepting to such conditions, you have

to strengthen the children internally to prevent them from

falling into that state. The most appropriate solution to such

problem would be Early Intervention, or a system that helps

babies and young children with developmental disabilities.

As suggested, this is best applied within the comfort of your

homes. With ample and strong support from parents,

siblings, and other household members, children with

learning disabilities will develop self-confidence despite the disorders and battle negative factors that belittle them.

Learning disabilities are problems that affect a person’s ability to

process, organize, analyze, or remember information. However, it is

important to keep in mind that these disabilities have nothing to do with

your child’s intelligence. It just so happens that the person who has

learning disabilities finds it hard to, and is slower in processing data.

The effects of learning disabilities go beyond the academic aspect of a

person. It can affect your child’s lifestyle, attitude, personality, along with

the way they handle personal relationships.

WHAT ARE THE TYPES OF LEARNING DISABILITIES?

There are various of learning disabilities. More often than not, children are

affected by more than one type of learning disabilities. It could affect your

child’s reading, arithmetic, spelling, or writing skills simultaneously.

Sometimes, it could even affect your child’s focus, behavior, concentration,

as well as their motor skills.

04

LEARNING DISABILITIES IN READING AND LANGUAGE:

Learning disabilities in reading affect a child in two ways: first, he or she has difficulties with the basic skills required to know the relationshipbetween letter forms, their pronunciations, and the words that they form.

A child experiencing this could misread the small letter ‘q’ as ‘p’, orinterchange ‘b’ with ‘d’. Secondly, he or she may have reading

comprehension disabilities and confuse the meanings of certain words

and phrases. When a child is having difficulty in comprehension, he or she has tendencies to read through word association rather than phonetics.

In this case, he or she might read ‘Father’ as ‘Dad’. Children with learning disabilities in language exert more effort to communicate and express his

or herself verbally.

DYSLEXIA

Dyslexia is a language-based learning disability. Children with this disability struggle with reading, spelling, writing,

and pronouncing words. They tend to forget the

phonetics of each letter, and have troubles combining

them words. They are slow readers, and could make a lot

of mistakes.

DYSPHASIA

Dysphasia is another language-based learning disability

characterized by difficulty in producing or understanding speech. They are prone to misuse words, misinterpret

coherent sentences, and misundestand someone’s vocal

speech and conversations.

05

LEARNING DISABILITY IN WRITING:

Children with learning disabilities in writing have problems with forming letters and words when

writing. Typically, they have indecipherable or bad

handwriting. Learning disabilities in expressive

writing affect a child’s capability to express their

ideas and thoughts on paper.

DYSGRAPHIA

Dysgraphia is a learning disability that affects a child’s

ability to handwrite and other related tasks. They also have

tendencies to make more grammatical errors and spellings

than those who do not have this disability.

LEARNING DISABILITY IN MATH:

A learning disability in Math affects a child’s interaction

with number symbols and the quantities they represent. They also have more difficulties in counting and in solving basic operational math problems.

DYSCALCULIA

Dyscalculia affects a child’s ability to use numbers visually,

verbally, or arithmetically.

06

LEARNING DISABILITY IN MOTOR SKILLS:

Dyspraxia is a disability that affects a person’s mobility

and coordination. A child with Dyspraxia generally have

uncoordinated movements or gestures with no smooth

transitions. It could affect a person’s ability to dance or

play sports.

DYSPRAXIA

BEHAVIORAL PROBLEMS WITH LEARNING DISABILITIES

Sometimes, a child with learning disabilities develops

behavioral conditions. In some cases, this might just be a

result from the frustration they feel for not being able to

learn as quickly or as productively as other people. Other times, there might be a need to have them examined for

actual deficit disorders.

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER (ADD)

An attention deficit disorder (ADD) is a weakness in the brain’s ability to focus on important sensory information.

ADD can impact a student’s ability to processes

information from a teacher’s words, music, video, and

written text. An attention deficit may also affect the brain’s ability to filter out information that is not important.People with ADD cannot tune out distractions that

others may barely notice.

07

In her book entitled Learning Disabilities: A Family Affair, Dr. Betty Os-

man, a New York based psychologist, explained the coping strategies of

the parents of children with learning disabilities. She also introduced the

comparison between the experiences of the parents of these children

while coping and Kübler-Ross’ and David Kessler’s “Five Stages of Grief”

diagram. Dr. Betty highlighted the fact that the parents of these children

are also suffering from loss – loss of the usual and normal

development of their children.

In this handbook, we will refer to this diagram as the Five Stages of

Coping. Each stage will have an assessment, discovery, and solution part that would allow you to evaluate yourself and your actions step-by-step in

order to healthily cope with your family’s struggle with learning disabilities.

09

Each stage will be preceded by an indicator checklist. Check whichever you can relate to. Five or more checked items will indicate that you are

currently in that stage of coping. Sometimes, you might find yourself to be in two or more stages at once. That’s perfectly normal. These stages do

not occur in a linear process in real life. There would be instances where

you skip a step or you go back one stage behind, or you experience them

all at once. Upon knowing which stage (or stages) you are in, read through the definition and action plan that comes with it. At the end of each stage description, there would be instructions or links that will direct you to

other parts of the handbook, online websites and resources, pinterest

boards, and other digital resources that came along with this handbook.

The goal is to let this handbook guide you to get to know yourself and

your way of coping, and for you to identify which stage you currently

belong in. Upon understanding how you deal with the situation that your

child has learning disabilities, you will have a clearer vision of what you

should and should not do to soothe not only your own apprehensions

towards the problem, but also your child’s fears and frustrations, and your

entire family concerns.

10

11

When you do sign up, you’ll have the option to link either your

acebook or Twitter account with your Pinterest account. Why should

you consider connecting? It’ll make it easier for you to find your friends, family members, and favorite blogs and brands to follow on

Pinterest. If you prefer to start with just your e-mail address, you can

always connect your social accounts later.

1. SIGN UP OR LOG IN

To create a new board on your account, click the “Add +” button

in the upper right-hand corner of your main Pinterest page. Select

the option to Create a Board (more on the other two options on the next page). Give your board a descriptive name so your followers know what types of pins they’ll find on it. The category options are set by Pinterest, so select whichever is closest or choose “other”

for those wildcard boards. The final option before you create your board is to add another pinner to it. This means that they will have

the ability to add pins (and other pinners) to the shared board. They won’t, however, be able to edit the title or the category of the

board.

2. CREATE YOUR OWN BOARD

12

To add a pin to one of your boards, click on either the “Pin It”

button in your bookmark bar or on the website you’re reading.

A screen will pop up asking you to select the image you want

to pin (if there’s more than one photo on the page), after selecting the image you’ll get another window to create the pin.

You’ll do two things in this window—choose which board to add the

pin to and write a description of the image you’re pinning.

Select the board using the drop down menu in the window. If you

want to add your pin to a new board, you can create one directly

from the drop down menu as well. Once you’ve selected the board, write a description of your pin—something to help you remember

why you added it to your boards.

3. SEARCH THEN START PINNING INSTANTLY

13

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS HAVE YOU

SAID TO YOURSELF OR TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE?

“Wala namang problema. Iba-iba naman angdevelopment ng mga bata.”

“Ganiyan din ako nung bata ako. Maayos naman akongayon. Paglaki niyan, magiging maayos din siya.”

“Madali lang naman iyon, eh! Hindi ko maintindihankung bakit hindi niya magawa.”

“Hindi naman ganoon katalino ang anak ko.”

“Ngayon lang iyan. Kakalakihan din niya iyan.”

“Hindi. Hindi siya ganiyan kaya hindi namin kailanganng tulong!”

“Hindi siguro natututukan ng teacher sa school kaya ganyan iyan.”

“Hindi ko kasi siya naturuan agad. Naging abala ako sa trabaho.”

“Delayed lang iyan. Makakahabol din siya sa ibang bata.”

“Lalaki kasi. Mas mabilis naman talagang magsalita atmagbasa ang mga babae.”

15

Coping usually starts with denial, but this does not mean you literally do not know or notice the symptoms of learning disabilities in your child’s

development. It means that you are refusing to accept that they may

actually have learning disabilities, or you find excuses to explain and justify the observations you have about your child. These statements can range

from “Kakalakihan din niya iyan” to more absurd reasoning such as “Masi-yado siguro nahilo sa stroller noong baby pa siya.”

When you are in denial, it means that your mind and body are naturally

protecting you from shock and pain. However, this stage is both a blessing

and a curse. While denying the problem might protect you from stress, it

could also paralyze you or prevent you from doing the appropriate actions

to help your child with learning disabilities. The longest idle time usually

happens in this stage.

It is important to keep in mind that you don’t have to force yourself to get

out of this stage. However, it is vital for you to be aware that you are

actually in this stage for you to be able to progress. As you gradually learn

to accept the presence of learning disabilities in your family, you start

your coping process.

17

18

Denial is a normal and expected reaction. As established in the previous

section, the longest idle time usually happen in this stage. This causes

hardships in reaching out to your child, as well as delays in providing what

they need. Oftentimes, denial is caused by lack of compelling information about your child’s condition.

One of the most effective way to take yourself out of denial is intervention through these steps:

Examine and recognized the issue you have been trying to avoid. Ask

yourself the questions “Why do I react in this manner towards the situa-

tion?”, “What kind of events do I react defensively to?”

EXAMINE THE ISSUE

FOCUS AND ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL THE TRUTH

Focus on the things that you have been ignoring and know if what the

people have been telling you are real. Push yourself to think about the

issue despite its discouraging context.

DON’T PROCRASTINATE

The longer you put off addressing the issue, the more you sink in denial.

Prep yourself and courageously face your behavior towards the problem.

Dictate actions to yourself: assess the problem, make a plan to solve it,

and sitick to it.

19

LEARNING DISABILITIES

DYSLEXIA DEFINITION

DYSGRAPHIA DEFINITION

DYSCALCULIA DEFINITION

DYSPHASIA DEFINITION

DYSPRAXIA DEFINITION

ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER DEFINITION

EXTERNAL LINKS

DID YOU EVER BLAME THE FOLLOWING

FOR YOUR CHILD’S CONDITION?

Yourself

Your spouse

Your own child

Your child’s yaya

Your child’s school

Your child’s teacher

Your child’s playmates or siblings

Other parents

The government

The supernatural and elementals

God

21

23

Anger occurs in many forms. You could be angry at your child’s school for

“not teaching your child enough,” or at your spouse for not “supporting

you and your child properly” or at yourself for not being to “prevent” this

problem from occurring. Having all these resentments could mean a good

thing. It means that you are consciously feeling safe enough to feel

something rather than to deny everything. But like all the other stages,

prolonged lingering on this stage can lead to miscommunication and

broken relationships.

More often than not, this stage is a necessity in your coping progress.

Anger is the emotion we are most used to managing so allow yourself to

truly feel it and let it drain out of your system. This stage is the start of you

acknowledging the presence of learning disabilities in your family. It could

serve as the link between neglect and denial to the beginning of

addressing your problem.

24

Anger is an internal emotion, but it could be triggered by the smallest

thing such as misplaced keys, wailing child in the morning, or passive

spouse. A key solution to this is to develop some kind of system in your

household to allow things to happen more smoothly.

Kids with learning disabilities often feel frustrated and not confidentbecause of the things they cannot do. One of the things you can do to prevent this is to assign chores for your children to do. Accomplishing

chores do not only boost their self-esteem, but it also teaches focus,

responsibility, and self-discipline.

ASSIGNING THE RIGHT CHORES

School-aged kids ranging from seven to twelve can do more physical

work such as sweeping the floor, helping set the table, and washing the dishes. They can also be more responsible with themselves and organize

their own clothes and other things.

If your children are in their teens, there’s not much that they couldn’t do,

but do not force themselves to do things they hate as they would tend to

develop an attitude against doing it rather than taking the initiative to a

execute.

CONSIDER THE AGE, INTEREST, AND SKILL SET

25

Children with learning disabilities may need for you to teach them how to do their chores step-by-step in order for them to fully understand what

you want them to do.

GIVE CLEAR INSTRUCTIONS

Do not neglect your children’s efforts in fulfilling a task. Take time to check how they did but do not expect perfection. Instruct them more in a

gentle manner for them to improve. Rewarding their behavior could posi-

tively reinforce these chores to become habits.

DO QUALITY CHECK AND REWARD SYSTEM

Assess whether instructions are followed more if you directly tell them

or write them on paper and repeatedly use that technique to effectively make your child do their chores. It is also recommended to use charts and

post them in places where they can see it majority of the time in order for

them to be reminded of the responsibilities they have.

VERBAL AND VISUAL INSTRUCTIONS

LINKS

VISUAL CHARTS FOR ACCORDING TO TASKS

VISUAL CHARTS FOR ACCORDING TO AGES

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING SITUATIONS HAVE YOU

ALREADY EXPERIENCED?

You got jealous of other children for being normal

You got jealous of other parents for having children with

the usual development milestones

You have said “It should have been me and not my child.

It’s unfair.”

You felt cheated that you and your family are the ones who

are experiencing this situation

You asked a lot of “What if…” questions

You said “I’ll do whatever it takes as long as this problem

would disappear.”

You felt that you should have enrolled your child to another

school

You felt that you fell short in teaching your child the basic

knowledge (the alphabet, counting, shapes, walking) and therefore want to do it again

You asked God “What did we do to deserve this?”

You went to see various professionals to know more about

what’s going with your child

You talked to counselors, pastors, friends and family and

asked them for advice

You researched online and felt overwhelmed

You fought with your spouse regarding the issue

27

The dictionary meaning of bargaining is to negotiate terms and conditions.

At this point, you might have the feeling of having to redo all the things

you have done before, or your mind is constantly coming up with deals

and negotiations to exert more effort in teaching and taking care of your

child when he or she was younger. You begin to ask questions in a “what if” manner. Bargaining could be the result of helplessness and

vulnerability, and all that you can do is to question the things you areenjoying now and whether or not all those could be traded for the

betterment of your child.

Having these thoughts nonetheless means you are progressing. If you no-

tice, this stage is when you first think of doing anything. This stage means actions. You have to understand, nevertheless, the actions you are thinking

of doing, and whether or not they would be effective and fruitful enough

to not only help yourself but to help your child as well.

29

30

According to Julie Axelrod in her article entitled The Five Stages of Loss and Grief in the website psychcentral.com, to bargain is a normal reaction

to feelings of helplessness and vulnerability – often in a need to regain

control. In a sense, you feel the need for an external help – resources.

“Many parents felt at a loss when it came to helping their childre

get along better with siblings and friends; moreover, there seemed

to be no one they could turn to for help. After all, this was not a

school problem.” (Osman, 1979)

In contrast, a list of resources whom you can call, read, or watch that

can give further insights to what the parents and the children are going

through is needed to ease your vulnerability and help you progress to the

next stage.

In addition to that, you can establish your own network by getting support

from your network your friends, relatives, family doctors, church pastors,

your child’s teachers as well as other parents that might be experiencing

the same situation you are in.

31

ORGANIZATIONS AND PROFESSIONALS

FORUM DIRECTORY

LAWS AND RIGHTS OF THE DISABLED

LINKS

EXTERNAL LINK

DO YOU FIND YOURSELF EXPERIENCING

THE FOLLOWING?

not wanting to get out of bed

always crying and in constant worry

detaching from family members

detaching from your spouse

feeling like you’re living on autopilot

losing your appetite

not enjoying the things you used to love

extreme feeling of loss and isolation

not wanting to talk to anyone

extreme moodswings and irritability

33

This stage is where the heaviness of the scenario finally sinks in fully inyour consciousness. You feel demotivated and lazy to move even just to

do the basic necessities such as eating or cleaning the house.

Self-pity, loneliness, anxiety, and feelings of emptiness usually

consumes you. This is the most difficult stage to get out of aside fromDenial, as most of reactions are internal.

35

36

Firstly, it is important to note that this stage is not synonymous with clinical

depression or any mental illnesses.

In its simplest form, depression can be translated to extreme sadness and

incapability. You would often feel discouraged in this stage and would

rather stay in bed the whole day. When you reach this stage, similarly with

Anger, allow yourself to feel the sorrow and heaviness of your situation.

Having these emotions only mean that you have already peeled off the top

layers that masks your pain. Once you have released all the negativity in you, you will be prepped enough to accept that your child have learning

disabilities.

37

INDOOR BONDING IDEAS

RECIPES

TRAVEL!

BOOKS & FILMS

RELAXING ACTIVITIES

ARTS AND CRAFTS

GAMES

LINKS

THESE SIGNS INDICATE THAT YOU HAVE ALREADY

REACHED THE ACCEPTANCE STAGE:

You are able to recognize and admit the presence of the

learning disability

You find yourself making plans to address the problemYou are able to talk about the learning disability with

different people without feeling angry, guilty, or

breaking down

You are able to have more good days than bad days

You don’t feel guilty

You do not feel as angry and irritable as you did before

You are able to enjoy the things you love doing without

feeling guilty

You are able to detach yourself from your emotions

You are able to help your child patiently and without

feeling frustrated

You have a better relationship with every member in

your family

You feel healthier and more energetic

39

Acceptance by itself does not mean that you welcome the disabilities

with open arms or you are beyond at ease with its existence. Acceptance

means you are ready to fully acknowledge that your child will not be

having regular and usual experiences, and you are set to take

responsibility, and are dedicated to help your child with his or her needs.

At this point, you have to realize that these steps may not occur in a linear

or procedural manner. You may have skipped some stages or go through

each of these stages in a different order. Despite that, what is

important now is that you are able to survive through those other

stages–you stopped denying the truth and you started listening to

your own needs as well as your family’s. You are now ready to do the

appropriate methods to help your children and to reach outside of

yourself, branching out even outside of your household, and build a

network of people and resources that help you.

41

42

In line with that, according to Osman, “When children are content, their parents reap the rewards.” Here we can also suggest the parents to “treat

themselves to some of the love and understanding they work so hard to

provide for their children.

The next section of the handbook is all about Stress Management. Now

that you have at least started to recognize your stressor (learningdisabilities), it is best if you know how to handle and manage it tomaintain your position in this stage.

43

MASSAGES AND SPAS

DIY BEAUTY

WORK OUT ROUTINES

GETAWAYS AND RESORTS

FASHION

ARTS AND CRAFTS

HOME RELAXATION IDEAS

LINKS

SPORTS AND RECREATION

BOYS NIGHT OUT IDEAS

44

4345

WHAT IS STRESS?

Stress is the physical, mental, or emotional strain caused the pressure or

demanding situations. However, stress can still be a motivator to help you

perform better. Most of the time, though, when badly managed, it can be

the source for unnecessary bad health conditions, taints in relationships,

and ineffective work ethics.

WHAT CAUSES STRESS?

TOO MUCH DEMAND

If the demands of factors that stresses you are much more than what you

can cope with, then you may feel the negative effects of stress such as

fatigue. The responsibilities that come along with being a parent of a child

with Learning Disabilities falls under this.

TOO LITTLE DEMAND

If there is a sudden decrease in the load of work you are used to having,

you might feel some negative effects of stress as well, such as insecurity or

paranoia. The absence of development and stimulation in your kids is an

example of this.

46

The following are lists of common symptoms of stress. The number of

signs that apply to you is an indication of how high your stress levels are.

Low energy and fatigue

Feeling cold and sweaty

Difficulty in breathing

Headaches

Upset stomachs including diarrhea, constipation,

and nausea

Aches and tense muscles

Palpitations and heartburn, chest pains

Insomnia

Lack of sexual desire

Dry skin, breakouts, and irritation

PHYSICAL SIGNS

47

Short-tempered

Agitation

Moodswings

Depression or general unhappiness

Sense of loneliness or isolation

Feeling overwhelmed

Loss of confidence and self-esteem

EMOTIONAL SIGNS

Memory problems

Inability to concentrate

Seeing only the negative

Anxiety and overthinking

Poor judgment and indecision

Loss of self-esteem

MENTAL SIGNS

Eating less or more than usual

Excessive drinking and smoking

Nervous habits such as nail biting

Procrastination and neglect of responsibilities

Lack of or excessive sleeping

Wanting isolation

BEHAVIORAL SIGNS

48

Being a parent to a child with learning disabilities have multiple

demands. Managing your stress means balancing these demands and your

ability to cope. Knowing where you cope less will help with how you can

balance being a parent to your learning disabled child with being a

spouse, or being a parent to your other children, or being an employee or

business owner.

Identify at least the top 3 underlying causes of your stress.

This will help you understand why they cause you stress

and develop a plan to solve it.

Prioritize your stress. This will help you decide how and

when to manage them.

Listen to your body. Watch out for the symptoms of stress

in your body. How are the causes affecting you?

Know your coping strategies. What do you usually do when

you are stressed? Are they effective enough to relax you?

Are you sure they are the appropriate actions to take? How

else can you cope?

Take action. Now that you know the cause of your stress

and its effect on you, take the initiative to make actions

plans on how to relax yourself to be able to reduce the

pressure you feel.

HERE ARE 5 STEPPING STONES THAT

COULD HELP YOU GET STARTED:

49

TALK AND CONVERSE

Oftentimes, when you are stressed, you are usually overwhelmed and it can feelsomething akin to nausea due to eating too much, or a glass of water already filled to brimw. Therefore, having an outlet is important. It will help you calm down and ease your

worry.

Here are some tips you can do reduce stress externally:

Improving your communication with the people closest to you will lessen

your feeling of confinement and helplessness. Once they know how you are feeling, they can help you in diminishing your worries about your child

and your whole family. Be honest with how you feel, even if at times, they

also become a source of your aggravation.

HEALTHY DIET AND EXERCISE

When you are stressed, your immune system is weakened, therefore you

are more prone to sickness. When you are sick, you can experience more

frustrations, and mental and emotional stress due to the added difficulty of different illness such as flu, headaches, and diarrhea. Battle thissickness with the right healthy diet and enough exercise.

REST AND RELAXATION

A hobby or an interest can be constructive way of relieving way. Do

something that brings you happiness or peace of mind and use that as

anchor in coping with stress. Get pampered in spas, have a massage, take

a vacation, go shopping, or visit a park or museum. It is best if you take

your family with you for additional quality time thus strengthening your relationship with your whole family.

50

Most often than not, we are stressed by non-existent problems, and are

pressured only by what are minds are telling us. The demands and your

ability to cope may be determined by how you choose to see things. It

is your perception of events, rather than the events themselves are the

problem. You must know that only you are responsible for your reactions,

emotional, mental and physical.

What can you do?

Blowing up the problem, generalizing, and uttering the

words “always,” “must,” “should,” and many other words

are factors of how you view the situation. Identify your

unrealistic beliefs and expectations and remember that you

yourself, your child with learning disabilities, and the

people around you are not superhuman beings. Allow

yourself–and them–space to commit mistakes.

You may not have the capabilities to change the fact that

your child has learning disabilities. However, you can

change your perception of the situation, and influence your children and your family to view the camaraderie with a

more positive understanding.

Use the strategy of positive thinking and positive “self-

talk.” Give yourself messages that are messages of

affirmation, cheer, and encouragement. Tell yourself, “I am okay, and I will be able to go through these obstacles.”

DO NOT EXAGGERATE

CHANGE YOUR PERCEPTIONS

51

SELF-ASSESSMENT

Underneath is an evaluation chart that you can answer to figure out how far have you gone from the first stage which is denial, to being able to accept and managing your stress. Use this in order to know which area you

still need to develop, and which area you were able to do best and use it

as an anchor to further improvements.

EVENT:

WHO IS INVOLVED?

HOW DID I REACT?HOW DID I FEEL?

HOW DID I INTERACTWITH MY CHILD?

HOW DID I INTERACT WITH MY SPOUSE?

HOW DID THEY REACT?

AREAS TO IMPROVE ON:

53

SELF-ASSESSMENT

Upon knowing which aspect you still need to work on, develop a

masterplan in order for you not to be overwhelmed and discouraged by

the amount of things you have left to do. Remember, small steps at a time.

Use the Action Plan below to be able to develop a goal for yourself.

Remember to set SMART goals–Specific, Measurable, Achievable,Realistic, Time-based.

STRESSOR:

WHY DID IT STRESSED ME?

WHO ARE THE PEOPLEINVOLVED?

HOW TO IMPROVE?

DEVELOPMENT GOALSWHAT ACTIONS TO TAKEWHO CAN YOU ASK FOR HELP?

TO BE COMPLETED BY:TO BE COMPLETED ON:

56

Jena, S. (n.d.). Learning disability: Theory to practice (1st ed.). SAGE Publications.

Ambert, A. (2001). The effect of children on parents (2nd ed.). New York: Haworth Press.

Osman, B. (1974). Learning disabilities: A family affair. Mt. Vernon, N.Y.

Consumers Union.

Ross, E., & Kessler, D. (2005). On grief and grieving: Finding the meaning ofgriefthroughthefivestagesofloss. New York: Scribner.

Zerubavel, E. (2006). The elephant in the room: Silence and denial in everyday life. Oxford: Oxford University Press.

Hargreaves, G. (1998). Stress management. London: Marshall.

Palmer, S. (1996). Stress management and counselling: Theory, practice, research and methodology. London: Cassell.

Dyscalculia: Symptoms, Causes and Treatment. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.learninginfo.org/dyscalculia.htm

How To Deal With Denial. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http:// www.boxingscene.com/motivation/2657.php

Haddad, P. (n.d.). Types of Learning Disabilities. Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://learningdisabilities.about.com/od/learningdisabilityba sics/u/TypesofLearningDisabilities.htm

What Is Dysphasia? (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.wise geekhealth.com/what-is-dysphasia.htm

Dyspraxia--developmental-coordination-disorder-dcd | information. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.occupationaltherapy children.com.au/information/dyspraxia-developmental-coordina tion-disorder-dcd

57

Logsdon, A. (n.d.). Understanding Attention Deficit Disorders (ADD). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://learningdisabilities.about. com/od/learningdisabilitybasics/a/atntiondeficits.htm

Types of Learning Disabilities. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http:// ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/

Ia, T. (n.d.). How do you help your children bounce back from disappoint ment or deal with a challenging situation? Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.specialeducationphilippines. com/2014/11/26/how-do-you-help-your-children-bounce-back-from- disappointment-or-deal-with-a-challenging-situation/

Help for my dyslexic daughter. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from https://ph.news.yahoo.com/help-dyslexic-daughter-040038750.html

Dysgraphia. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://ldaamerica.org/ types-of-learning-disabilities/dysgraphia/

Logsdon, A. (n.d.). Learning Disabilities (Signs, Symptoms, and Diagnoses). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://learningdisabilities.about. com/od/whatisld/a/whatissld.htm

Logsdon, A. (n.d.). Learning Disability in Basic Math Skills. Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://learningdisabilities.about. com/od/learningdisabilitybasics/p/ldbasicmath.htm

No such thing as ‘bobo’: Dealing with learning disabilities. (n.d.). Retrieved January 1, 2015, from http://www.interaksyon.com/article/33676/no- such-thing-as-bobo-dealing-with-learning-disabilities

All content is copyrighted to their respective owners.

All content is reviewed by SPED Teachers in Ste. Anne de Beauxpéry

Special Education School

THIS HANDBOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD AT

http://issuu.com/psyche-handbook/docs/psyche_handbook

THIS HANDBOOK IS AVAILABLE FOR DOWNLOAD AT

http://issuu.com/psyche-handbook/docs/psyche_handbook