8/4/2019 Ps. Tell Them to Stop Looking for Higgs Boson, Its a waste of time.

1/4

A Motivational Story.

It's fun to be god, actually. Find me a guy who has conceived both

Stephen Hawking and Megan Fox. Thats all one needs to do to findme, and people do all sort of crazy stuff. Humans. Humph. So today Iam going to tell you a story. So hang on and pray. And no one, I repeatNO ONE asks my name.

It was probably 3-4 gazillion seconds after the big bang. Yes, it allstarted with the big bang, Happy? So, there I was creating stars, andplanets, and nebulas, and black holes, and dark matter, and I know

what else. There, in that crazy, I saw a tiny rock (my tiny equals tosomewhere about 1010 times the size of your sun), right at the edge ofthe galaxy, trying to woo a star.

It was a funny sight I tell you. I usually dont get a chance to see thecourtship a lot often, but that was my lucky day. The star wasbeautiful. She was one of the newer ones I made, Hydrogen pumpingthrough her veins; she could well have been Mont's muse. And she

didn't give the little guy a penny for his thoughts. There weren't manytricks in the trade back then, but still he was trying every one of them,but alas to no avail.

And as a quintessential love story, we had a sad song. I seriously hatethese parts in your films, and you guys need to work on it. I mean whothe hell laments for lost love nowadays. Wear a fastrack, "Move On!!!"The guy sang for what was like ages, and then I had to intervene.After all I was god. The guy told me his name was Planet, a stupidname for planet, but whatever, the guy was lovesick. And then I toldhim my story.

I was always the god. But I never thought that I could create thingsso beautiful, that even after a 150 billion years, I am still spellbound byit. I was a god, yes but I wasn't a creator. In those days we still did nothave television; we had books. I came across one, "7 effective ways ofhighly effective gods". I threw it out of the window. You could relate

8/4/2019 Ps. Tell Them to Stop Looking for Higgs Boson, Its a waste of time.

2/4

me then with your song, that emptiness one, a foolish song, but still. Iwill bet my top dollar to Mr. W H Davies; life with all the time to standand stare is pretty dumb actually.

In the end I started making things. I started with the small one. Themesons, gluons, somethin-uons, and what not. And I failed. Miserably.It so happened I found out later, that what I had been working withwas radioactive decay left out by a civilization in a parallel universewhere someone else was god. Pollution was a big issue even then. Imessed up everything and all I was left up with was an infinitesimalsize of particle with all the mass of the universe.

This happened after I had spent, some 10 whole minutes oncalculations. So I was pretty much depressed and heartbroken. Then Isang a sad song, (this is naivety, and nothing else) which filled the voidfor a very long time. Then I tried something foolish, I said aloud, "Letthere be Light", and since I was god there was light all around, but theuniverse was still there sulking in an infinitesimal particle.

Tolkien would have given me some "sound" advice, but still since hewould not have born if I had not made the universe, waiting would bepointless. I was god, and I was helpless. So I decided to use my onlylifeline, PANIC. I screamed and shouted every spell ever known to meat that damn little piece of everything; still it didn't budge an inch.

I went to the local library to find a book on making a universe, butsince I had to make one for there to be a book on it, my search wasfutile. Somebody told me to make deep chanting sounds, but that onlyled to gastroenteritis. A genius architect advised me to make plans,and sheets and iso-s, and axo-s, and sections of the universe,balderdash. Dammit, I even ran a computer simulation, but it turnsout I am not a very good programmer.

I was god, I was sad, I was depressed, and I could not make a universe.And Baba Ramdev was busy fighting for some stupid bill.

8/4/2019 Ps. Tell Them to Stop Looking for Higgs Boson, Its a waste of time.

3/4

Then Planet asked why was I telling him all this. I hate when peopleinterrupt when I am talking. The link gets broken. This time though itwas helpful. Because thats when I remembered, that when I wasmixing the gamma particles with the alpha mesons, my phone went off.

Which is Galaxy S 929786 (running android 376.72) by the way. Thephone's ring must have broken my link. So I trashed the phone,Samsung was anyways releasing the new model next week and theyalways send me a review model. Then I started working again.

I took a deep breath, and exhaled. Something happened then. Theuniverse was born. I just lacked the catalyst the first time. Foolish,foolish, foolish of me. That is how my dear planet Planet, the world

was born.

Planet than justly asked, why the hell was I telling him all this. Hescreamed at me, pulled his hair, and also sent a passing meteor at me,but in essence his question was this. Why me? Then I answered in thecryptic language all preachers and teachers use when they don't knowthe answer. I told him because it was his destiny.

At this he flared up. That little tiny tot of a planet flared up at me.He accused me of being a partial god. Of making things they cantpossible acquire, of making them set goals no one of they couldpossibly achieve, and making them believe in things as foolish as life,destiny, hard work and luck.

I smiled. He was angry. And that was all I wanted. I wanted him to getangry at the universe. I wanted him angry with me. I wanted him angrywith himself. Everything is yours to take, I told him. If you fall down,you may once have a hand to get you back up, but then you may not. Ifyou are sad, I told him, someone could get you a pint of beer, butsometimes you have to laugh it off yourself.

Nobody can motivate you as you yourself can. Motivations come notfrom books, not from movies, not from songs, not from idols, not fromme aka GOD; it has to come from YOU.

8/4/2019 Ps. Tell Them to Stop Looking for Higgs Boson, Its a waste of time.

4/4

Then Planet asked again, BUT WHY THE HELL ARE YOU TELLINGME THIS?

I told him, "Because I told this story to the girl I liked".

He asked, like everyone else, "phir kya hua?"

"I am God. But some people are atheists."

Then I left.