Presentation webinar case studies EI 21 june 2016

client service

trust-based sales

consulting skills

leadership

21 June 2016

ImprovingyourEmo.onalIntelligence:.psandcasestudies

Skills to improve your client relationships www.theclientacademy.com

Incollabora.onwithFIBA

WhoareTheClientAcademy?Training,coachingandfacilita7ontoimproveyourclientrela7onships

MonicaHernanzFounder.Spanish.22years’experienceinclientrela.onships.Backgroundinbankingandconsul.ng.

Weworkgloballyfrom3offices

4areasofwork

Clientservice

Trust-basedsales

Consul.ngskills

Leadership

London 4 consultants

Madrid 2 consultants

Panama Office for Latam since 2013

Someofourclients

Colaboracióncon

TheClientAcademy’sEmo7onalIntelligenceModel

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•  Rela7onshipwithself:amIgoodenough?

TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE

YourselfSELF-TALK

OthersDEPENDENCY

OurEmo.onalIntelligenceModelisbasedaroundmanagingthreerela7onshipsatwork:

•  Rela7onshipwithothers,onwhomwedependtoobtainresults:canItrustthem?

•  Rela7onshipwiththeorganiza7onandtheworld:willitwork?

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WhatisEmo7onalIntelligence

Emo.onalIntelligenceisthecapacitytoreadandmanageouremo5onsaswellasotherpeople’ssothatwecanguideourbehaviourtowardsthebestresultinthecurrentsitua.on

Sailinganalogy:Emo7onalIntelligencearethesails

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•  Wearetheboat

•  Theseaisourcircumstances

•  Thewindsareouremo.ons

•  ThesailsareourEmo.onalIntelligence.Theyallowustogetourboattotherightdes.na.onwhateverthewindandseacondi.ons

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Situa7on1:Rela7onshipwithyourself AmIgoodenough?

•  Lack of confidence •  Self-doubt about our skills •  Strong self-criticism •  Shame

Rela7onshipwithyourselfCasestudy1:context

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• Theytendtobesuccessfulpeople,buttheirselfesteemcomesfromexternalsourcesinsteadoffromwithin.Theyobtainresultsattheexpenseofahighemo.onalcost.

• Mee7ngobjec7vescomeswithnega7veemo7ons:fearoffailure,perfec.onism,impostorsyndrome,etc…Theself-dialogueisnega.veandrelentless,buteffec.ve.

• ARerachievingachallenge,theytendtomovetothenextonewithoutcelebra7ngsuccesses.

•  Increaseinthelastfewyearsofthissitua.on.Execu7vesaremoreexposedandalone.

Rela7onshipwithyourselfcasestudy1:analogyhowtheyfeel

Analogy:differencebetweenlearningtoswimenjoyingthewaterorlearningtoswimbythrowingyourselfinthedeependwhenyou’res.llhesitant

Rela7onshipwithyourselfPosi7vesideandcon7nuum

ShameSelf-doubt Self-confidence Arrogance

I’madisaster I’mperfect

SELF-DOUBT AND SHAME HAVE A POSITIVE SIDE •  Self-doubt is like daily gymnastics to do better. •  Shame is a natural response when we have made a mistake, to admit we have

done wrong and repair relationships. •  If self-doubt and shame happen too frequently, then their negative side effects

outweigh the positives.

Whereareyou?

Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithyourself

PERSPECTIVE•  Iden.fytheirra.onal/

animalvoice•  Haveself-compassion

likeyouwoulddowithafriendorchild

•  Arguewiththenega.vevoiceusingevidenceofpreviousachievements

ANTICIPATEOBSTACLES•  Iden.fypaXernsand

obstacles.•  Preparewhen…thenplans

BODYLANGUAGE•  Fakeit.llyoubecome

it•  WatchAmyCuddy’s

TEDtalkontheeffectofbodylanguageonthemindwww.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are?language=en

Situa7on2:Rela7onshipwithotherswhenwedependonthemforourresults

CanItrustthem?

•  Vulnerability because of dependency

•  Mistrust •  Sensation of lack of power •  Frustration because of

different work standards

Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:context

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• Theytendtobeveryindependentandresponsiblepeople

• Methodical/specialisttypeofwork:inBanking,oReninITorFinance

• Theystrugglewithdelega.onandpreferwriXencommunica.on.Itishardertorelyonyourownresultsnowadays.Weneedtactandperseverenceinrela.onshipsaswellastechnicalmastery.

Rela7onshipwithothersCasestudy2:howtheyfeel

Analogy: difference between controlling everything at a RISK board-game and feeling you could be run over by a train and not even know about it. Other people may have out you in that position.

Rela7pnshipwithothersPosi7vesideandcon7nuum

Totaldependency

Workswellwithothersbuttendstotrusttoomuch

Workswellwithothersbuttendencytomistrust

ControllingTotal

independence

Ican’tdothingsalone Ican’tcounton

anyone

•  Positive reinforcement for taking care of things others leave unsolved

Whereareyou?

EXCESSIVE CONTROL HAS A POSITIVE SIDE

•  Vulnerability early in life? Learned that dependency is a bad thing?

•  Hyper-responsible children (e.g. Older siblings?)

•  Negative effect: too much work, unnecessary effort. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and people start to avoid responsibility because you will pick it up.

Howtoimprovetherela7onshipwithothers

SHOWEMPATHYAskfortheotherperson’sversionofeventsandreallylisten.Avoidblame.Ask:helpmeunderstandhowyouareexperiencingthissitua;onsothatwecandosomethingaboutit.

THINKASATEAMResistthetempta.ontoappor.onblametomakeitclearthatitwasn’tyourfault.Thinkaboutwhatyouhavetoloseinfutureiftherela.onshipsours.Collaborateasateamtosolveit.

FOSTERAUTONOMYDon’tcri.cizetoomuchortheywillfeelthatwhatevertheydo,youwon’tbehappy.Agreeonwhatneedstobedoneandleaveautonomyonhowtogetitdone.

Situa7on3:Rela7onshipwiththeworldthroughadapta7ontochange

¿Puedoconfiarenellos?

•  Dependencia •  Desconfianza •  Sensación de

falta de poder •  Insatisfacción ante

diferentes estándares de trabajo

Willitwork?

•  Fear •  Uncertainty •  Lack of control •  Helplessness

Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:context

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• Theytendtobepeoplewhopriori7zestability,security,rou7nes

• Detailedworkwheretheyhavetoiden7fyrisks:Inbankingriskmanagement,compliance,finance.

• Forthemchangeisapainfulprocessofpersonalturmoil.Theychangewhenit’sabsolutelynecessaryandwhenresonshavebeenwellexplained.

• Forthemop7mismhastobebasedonfacts

Adapta7ontochangecasestudy3:howtheyfeel

Analogy:differencebetweenrelinquishingcontrolinasafeenvironmentlikearoller-coasterandfeelingyou’refreefallingheadfirst.

Adapta7ontochangePosi7vesideandcon7nuum

Iavoidchange

Mo.va.ontochangeisposi.ve(aspira.onal)

IseekchangeotherwiseI’m

bored

Itrytodothingsthesame

Ican’tdothingsthesame

•  Theywantpriorthoughbulplanbeforechanging

Whereareyou?

•  Abilitytoseethreatsandriskswhenothersdon’t

•  Colleaguescallthempessimists,theycallthemselvesrealists

Mo.va.ontochangeisnega.ve(avoidance)

Personalized plan to leave the comfort zone. Small steps to get into the stretch zone.

Adapta7ontochangeGe^ngoutofthecomfortzone

Howtoimprovetheadapta7ontochange

ANALYSISUseyouranaly.calstrengthtoobjec.velyassesstherisksyou’reconcernedabout.Donotsimplygetthemoutandchurnthemoverandover.Dosomethingaboutthem.Debateandeithercrossthemoutorplantominimizethem.

SUPPORTCreateapersonalizedplanofac.vi.esandpeoplewhocangiveyousustenanceduringthechangeprocess.Internalsources:exercise,sleep,relaxa.on,nutri.onExternalsources:hobbies,peopleimportanttoyou,keepingotherthingsstable

REALISTICOPTIMISMThereisevidencethatabiastowardsop.mismproducesbeXerresults.Makeaconsciousefforttobeop.mis.c,whilstminimizingthethreats.Lookforevidenceofpastsuccessesofcopingwithchange.

Summary:wehavetalkedaboutemo7onalintelligenceinthreeprac7calsitua7onsthatelicitstrongemo7ons

TheworldADAPTATIONTOCHANGE

YourselfSELF-TALK

OthersDEPENDENCY

Threekeymessages

The origin of the things you find difficult is positive. At some point those behaviours have served you well.

1

Identify your irrational voice and don’t listen to it 2

Improving your emotional intelligence requires intentionality and practice

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Presentation webinar case studies EI 21 june 2016

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