Preparing for Adulthood

• AC 2014

The child

• Proverbs 22:6• Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old,

he will not depart from it.

• “To train” is much different than “to teach”

• To teach, is “to become familiar with.” You can teach your kids something, and someone else can teach them something else, and they’ll forget what you taught them.

• College

To Train• To train is “to dedicate, to discipline”• You can be taught how to play football very easily, but if you

want to be good…. The pros train every day!• To teach is “to know” To train is “to be”

• We must exercise our childrens behavior every day

• Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom,But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

• Thru repetition and effort and time and example and consistency and discipline our childrens lives will be molded and conformed to the obedient, mature, responsible, Godly, people they should be.

How long do we train

• The Hebrew word for child is used of newborns • (I Samuel 4:21)• for babies who are weaned • (I Samuel 1:27)• for a young child such as Ishmael • (Genesis 21:1)• for Joseph when he was seventeen • (Genesis 37:2) • for a man who was ready for marriage • (Genesis 34:19)

We train until there are no more opportunities to do so

• Proverbs 19:18 • Discipline your son while there is hope,

And do not desire his death.• Parent please understand….. Your opportunities are

limited.• You only have a little time to instill Godliness into your

child.

The adolescent

• We first train obedience!• Many do not get past the first step.• Ephesians 6:1-4• Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.

“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

• And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

• It’s critical to understand we can’t have success in more advanced training if we don’t have the basics down first.

• Sage at 13 weeks• Emily at 6 months

The teen

Now what?

New day dawning

A good thing

• Proverbs 29:17• Correct your son, and he will give you rest;

Yes, he will give delight to your soul.• Parenting can and should be a wonderful

thing!• Any faults I see in my kids…. Are because of

me!

The proof is in the pudding

• Every child will absolutely show whether or not he learned basic obedience and self control

• Every child will eventually make his own decision as to whether or not he will believe in God and follow His path. How we train them will greatly influence this decision

Advanced training

Important truths• Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the

earth.• I believe in the big bang, I just know it hasn’t happened yet• There was a flood… It put billions of dead things, buried by rock

layers, laid down by water, all over the earth• Genesis 1:27 So God created man in his own image, in the image

of God created he him; male and female created he them.• You are not an animal, and you didn’t come from an animal• God made people male or female• We don’t get to pick (this shouldn’t be advanced training)• As a parent be sure you develop masculinity in your son and

femininity in your daughter

Boys and girls

• Girls are not inferior to boys…. In fact… they are SUPERIOR ……..

• At being girls• And boys are superior to girls… at being boys• Any confusion about the sexes and our roles

comes from the devil and shouldn’t be entertained!

Young women• Titus 2:3-5• the older women likewise, that they be reverent in

behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things— that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

• 1 Timothy 2:9• in like manner also, that the women adorn themselves in

modest apparel, with propriety and moderation, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly clothing,

Young men

• 1st Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.

• Chapter 5 …. Treat the younger women as sisters, with all purity.

• Proverbs 17:25 “A foolish son brings grief to his father and bitterness to the one who bore him.”

• Proverbs 23:22 “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.”

Genesis 1

• God created all things…. And saw that it was good

• Genesis 2:18 something was “not good”• And the LORD God said, “It is not good that

man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 2:19• Out of the ground the LORD God formed

every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.

Desperate!

• God was creating a desire within Adam

• “But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.”

• Male and female of all the creatures

• I’ll pass on the monkeys

Genesis 2:21-23

• 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

• 23 And Adam said:• “This is now bone of my bones

And flesh of my flesh;She shall be called Woman,Because she was taken out of Man.”

• (the literal translation of the Hebrew)

Loose translation of the Hebrew

Cotton pick! Now we’re talking!

3 critical points young people HAVE to understand!

• Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

• Leave • Cleave • Be one flesh

Truths about marriage

• The priority - Leave• The permanence - Cleave• The purpose - Be one flesh

The priority

• LEAVE his father and mother• What is the most important relationship in the

world?• It’s not the child parent relationship• It’s the husband and wife relationship

Leave

• Many selfish parents cause rebellion and bad behavior in their children because they don’t want to let them go.

• Your job as a parent is to equip your child with the tools needed to become a Godly adult

• Your job is to work yourself out of a job• Teach your child that one day they’ll be

responsible for themselves!

The permanence

• Cleave unto his wife• Means “to cling to, to hold fast, to stick to”

• If either spouse fails to both leave and cleave, problems will result in a marriage. If spouses refuse to truly leave their parents, conflict and stress result.

• Leaving your parents does not mean ignoring them or not spending any time with them. Leaving your parents means recognizing that your marriage created a new family and that this new family must be a higher priority than your previous family.

Cleave

• Cleaving to your spouse means recognizing that you are joined, essentially “glued,” to your spouse. Cleaving is key in building a marriage that will endure hard times and be the beautiful relationship that God intends it to be.

• Marriages that fail and work both have problems• Divorce is simply not an option • Mark 10:9• What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put

asunder. • Pound this into your kids head!

The purpose

• Be one flesh• This new union takes precedence over all previous and

future relationships.• Some marriage partners continue to place greater

weight upon ties with parents than with the new partner. This is a recipe for disaster in the marriage and is a perversion of God’s original intention of “leaving and cleaving.”

• A similar problem can develop when a spouse begins to draw closer to a child to meet emotional needs rather than to his or her partner.

Be one flesh• Emotionally, spiritually, physically, financially,

and in every other way, the couple is to become one. Even as one part of the body cares for the other body parts (the stomach digests food for the body, the brain directs the body for the good of the whole, the hands work for the sake of the body, etc.), so each partner in the marriage is to care for the other.

Leave, cleave, be one flesh

• Marriage is a sacred covenant between a man and a woman and to leave, cleave, and be one flesh is the only way it will work as God designed

• When done properly it’s like Heaven on Earth!

How often do we train• Deuteronomy6:4 Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD:• 5 And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with

all thy soul, and with all thy might.• 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine

heart:• 7 And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt

talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

• 8 And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes.

• 9 And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

The latter years• We get to train our children until they are gone. • There is nothing more important that we will ever do• You hold a precious soul in your hand.• Be careful momma.• Be careful daddy.• Psalm 127:3-5• 3 Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,So are the children of one’s youth.5 Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them

Our sunset