Pre-Deployment Pre-Deployment Separation BriefingSeparation Briefing

CH(CPT) Keith J. AndrewsCH(CPT) Keith J. Andrews

TF-Ram ChaplainTF-Ram Chaplain

www.chaplainandrews.comwww.chaplainandrews.com

PurposePurpose

Highlight common Highlight common problems that occur as problems that occur as a result of separation a result of separation and address and address recommendations recommendations

to resolve these to resolve these problems before and problems before and when they occur.when they occur.

ExpectationsExpectations

Single SoldierSingle SoldierYou experience the You experience the same emotions and same emotions and relationship stresses relationship stresses of deployment. of deployment.

Deployments can be just Deployments can be just as demanding for the as demanding for the

single military member.single military member.

You have an additional You have an additional burden of finding a burden of finding a reliable individual to reliable individual to handle your personal handle your personal affairs during your affairs during your absence.absence.

Separation RealitySeparation Reality

Separation Separation is a processis a process

Anxiety is Anxiety is normalnormal

Change Will Change Will OccurOccur

Understanding YourselfUnderstanding Yourself

• Focused on the mission Focused on the mission

• Develop lasting Develop lasting friendships friendships

• Experience varying levels Experience varying levels of stressof stress

• Feel concerned and Feel concerned and disconnected from your disconnected from your familyfamily

During the deployment you will be:During the deployment you will be:During the deployment you will be:During the deployment you will be:

Understanding YourselfUnderstanding YourselfUpon Returning Home, You May:Upon Returning Home, You May:

•Find your whole family Find your whole family routine is changedroutine is changed•Be stand-offish from Be stand-offish from those you care aboutthose you care about•Not want to talk about Not want to talk about your deploymentyour deployment•Anxious about intimacy Anxious about intimacy •Feel hurt when your Feel hurt when your children are afraid of youchildren are afraid of you

Understanding Your SpouseUnderstanding Your Spouse

During deployment, your spouse may have:During deployment, your spouse may have:

•Experienced changesExperienced changes•Felt stressed or overwhelmedFelt stressed or overwhelmed•Assumed added Assumed added responsibilitiesresponsibilities•Experienced a temporary Experienced a temporary relocationrelocation•Become involved in different Become involved in different activities and friendsactivities and friends

The Emotional Cycle of Deployment:The Emotional Cycle of Deployment:A Military Family PerspectiveA Military Family Perspective

Adapted from Article Published in the Apr-Jun 2001 edition of U.S. Army Medical Department Journal.Time Adjusted from Six Month Model to 15 Month Model

Pre-DeploymentPre-Deployment

•Anticipation of lossAnticipation of loss•Denial Denial •Train-up/long hours away Train-up/long hours away •Getting affairs in order Getting affairs in order •Mental/physical distance Mental/physical distance •ArgumentsArguments

Time frame: months priorTime frame: months prior

DeploymentDeployment

• Mixed emotions/relief Mixed emotions/relief • Disoriented/overwhelmed Disoriented/overwhelmed • Numb, sad, alone Numb, sad, alone • Sleep difficulty Sleep difficulty • Security issuesSecurity issues

Time frame: first monthTime frame: first month

Sustainment Sustainment

• New routines established New routines established • New sources of support New sources of support • Feel more in control Feel more in control • Independence Independence • Confidence ("I can do this")Confidence ("I can do this")

Time frame: months 2 thru 12Time frame: months 2 thru 12

Re-DeploymentRe-Deployment

Time frame: months 12 thru 15Time frame: months 12 thru 15

•Anticipation Excitement Anticipation Excitement •Apprehension Apprehension •Burst of energy/"nesting" Burst of energy/"nesting" •Difficulty making Difficulty making decisionsdecisions

Post-DeploymentPost-Deployment

Time frame: 3 to 6 months afterTime frame: 3 to 6 months after

• Honeymoon period Honeymoon period • Loss of independence Loss of independence • Need for "own" space Need for "own" space • Renegotiating routines Renegotiating routines • Reintegrating into familyReintegrating into family

Deployment CycleDeployment Cycle

DeploymentDeployment

Pre-deploymentPre-deployment

SustainmentSustainment

RedeploymentRedeployment

Post-DeploymentPost-Deployment

Planning For SuccessPlanning For Success

Two Key Two Key StatementsStatements

for Separationfor Separation

Plan AheadPlan Ahead

Communicate Communicate ExpectationsExpectations

Obstacles To SuccessObstacles To Success

AlcoholAlcohol

CriticismsCriticisms

Avoid the “Who Had It Worse” GameAvoid the “Who Had It Worse” Game

Unresolved IssuesUnresolved Issues

Unrealistic ExpectationsUnrealistic Expectations

• How both of you feel, How both of you feel, • What you worry about, What you worry about, • How to handle How to handle

emergenciesemergencies• Repair problemsRepair problems• What you think needs to What you think needs to

be done around the be done around the househouse

Discuss with your spouse the deploymentDiscuss with your spouse the deployment

Discuss these things BEFORE you Discuss these things BEFORE you depart on a deployment.depart on a deployment.

Develop a Communication PlanDevelop a Communication Plan

LettersLettersInternetInternetE-mailE-mailPhonePhoneAmerican Red CrossAmerican Red Cross

Separating from your SpouseSeparating from your Spouse

• Be honest. Be honest. • Talk about your Talk about your

anxieties. anxieties. • Anticipate Mood Anticipate Mood

swingsswings

Understand that No amount of planning or talking Understand that No amount of planning or talking prepares you for the moment of departure.prepares you for the moment of departure.

ChildrenChildren• Anticipate the problems and Anticipate the problems and

discuss them with the entire discuss them with the entire family.family.

• Focus on successes; limit Focus on successes; limit criticismcriticism

• Take personal time with each Take personal time with each childchild

• Talk to your children before the Talk to your children before the deployment begins.deployment begins.

• Plan for CommunicatingPlan for Communicating• Help Children to plan for the Help Children to plan for the

departuredeparture

Online Resource Online Resource withwith

Parent/Child VideoParent/Child VideoParents VideoParents Video

http://www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc/http://www.sesameworkshop.org/tlc/

Helping Children CopeHelping Children Cope With DeploymentWith Deployment

You can get help and support!You can get help and support!

For the SpouseFor the Spouse• Other family members Other family members

• FriendsFriends

• FRGFRG

• Rear DetactmentRear Detactment

• ChaplainsChaplains

• Church communityChurch community

• Counseling servicesCounseling services

For the SoldierFor the Soldier• Battle BuddyBattle Buddy

• Other soldiersOther soldiers

• FriendsFriends

• Other family members Other family members

• ChaplainsChaplains

• Chain of commandChain of command

• Counseling ServicesCounseling Services

You can get help and support!You can get help and support!

Military One SourceMilitary One Sourcewww.militaryonesource.comwww.militaryonesource.com

My Army Life TooMy Army Life Toohttp://www.myarmylifetoo.comhttp://www.myarmylifetoo.com

Army vFRGArmy vFRGhttps://www.armyfrg.orghttps://www.armyfrg.org

Online ResourcesOnline Resources

ReferencesReferencesThe Emotional Cycle of Deployment: A Military Family Perspective:

U.S. Army Medical Department Journal. Apr-Jun 2001by LTC Simon H. Pincus, USA, MC, COL Robert House, USAR, MC, LTC (P) Joseph Christenson, USA, MC, and CAPT Lawrence E. Adler, MC, USNR-R

One Day Redeployment Marriage Workshop. CH(CPT) Keith J. Andrews, 1-101 AVN. 2006.

Strengthening Marriages. 501st Special Troops Battalion,101st Airborne Division. CH(MAJ) Matthew Wysocki.

Improving Communication. PowerPoint Presentation.

Anger Management: A Solution Focused Approach. PowerPoint Presentation.

Strong Bonds: For the 101st Airborne Division and their loved ones. Copyright © PREP Educational Products, Inc. 2007.

PREP: The Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program. Copyright © PREP Educational Products, Inc. 1997

Chaplain’s Mid-Tour Brief. CH(CPT) Keith J. Andrews, 1-101 AVN. 2006.

Battlemind Training--Preparing for War: What Soldiers Should Know and Do. Walter Reed Army Institute of Research, U.S. Army Medical Research and Materiel Command. 2008.

Staying in Touch With Your Military Spouse. By Sheri & Bob Stritof. http://marriage.about.com/od/militarymarriages/qt/milstayintouch.htm

USAA Deployment Guide. The USAA Educational Foundation. 2005.

Pictures from www.defenselink.mil/photos/, www.mnf-iraq.com,, www.minnesotanationalguard.org/, picasaweb.google.com

Pre-Deployment Pre-Deployment Separation BriefingSeparation Briefing

CH(CPT) Keith J. AndrewsCH(CPT) Keith J. Andrews

TF-Ram ChaplainTF-Ram Chaplain

www.chaplainandrews.comwww.chaplainandrews.com