PMI NH April 2015 •Avoid the derailers of success. •Using ethics and values to drive...
Transcript of PMI NH April 2015 •Avoid the derailers of success. •Using ethics and values to drive...
Leadership and Using our EQ to Listen, Learn and Lead!
Offered by James Kimberly, President
Sapphire Consulting www.consultsapphire.com
(603) 889-1099 [email protected]
PMI – NH April 2015
What About Tomorrow?
“We are in learning mode, we are not perfect. We need to communicate to learn, to have a safe place to be and we are asking of ourselves and of others for higher performance.
How long do we remain relevant by doing the same things?”
–Senior Leader October 2014
What I am Learning….
• There are more distractions than ever affecting our relationships, productivity and focus
• If we can’t focus we aren’t Listening
• If we aren’t listening we are not Learning
• If we are not learning, we are not Leading in a way to get commitment with integrity
Our Dialogue Today
• Key EQ skills today’s leaders need.
• Innovating more quickly and sustainably
• Think and act more globally, more broadly.
• Avoid the derailers of success.
• Using ethics and values to drive organizational culture while still allowing us to adapt and learn on the fly.
EQ
Effective
Not so Much
IQ
Effective
Not so Much
Tech
Effective
Not so Much
Leveraging EQ to…..
Listen intently to yourself & others to connect with thoughts and feelings about people and process….
Learn from your own perspectives and those of others to find deeper meaning and to inform proactive problem solving for our challenges ahead
Lead others by sharing the knowledge of what you have learned and act on it with intention, purpose and an achievement attitude….
EQ Definition
EQ is the capacity for recognizing
our own feelings and those of
others, for motivating ourselves,
and for managing emotions well in
ourselves and in our relationships.
- Daniel Goleman
©2014 Sapphire Consulting, LLC 7
Emotional Intelligence (Goleman)
Self Awareness
Social Awareness
Self Management
Relationship Management
Self Others M
anag
emen
t
Aw
aren
ess
EQ Research – Business Case
Emotional Intelligence (Goleman)
Self Awareness
Social Awareness
Self Management
Relationship Management
Self Others M
anag
emen
t
Aw
aren
ess
11
The Human Brain and Emotional Intelligence
prefrontal cortex
thalamus
amygdala
brain stem
How Do You See Yourself?
Emotional Self Awareness
• Ability to be aware of our feelings, know what triggers them and know how our feelings affect others.
• Connected to one’s values and important goals.
• With candor and humility, understands and knows one' self. Laughs at one’s self.
• Self-confidence and realistic self-assessment
Self Management
• Ability to self regulate emotions
• To control or redirect disruptive emotions
• To hold back and delay strong impulses
• Motivates one’s self
• Effectively manages stress
• Assertive
• Flexible, adaptable – open to change
• Optimism in the face of failure
Five Top Amygdala Triggers at Work
1. Condescension and lack of respect.
2. Being treated unfairly.
3. Being unappreciated.
4. Feeling that you're not being listened to or heard.
5. Being held to unrealistic deadlines.
-Goleman, Daniel (2011). The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights
Stress Tolerance
Stress and Performance
Flow
Disengaged Chaotic
Assertiveness
Assertiveness
• At our tables….
• What does Assertiveness look like at work when it is:
• Under - utilized?
• Over - utilized?
• Just right?
Flexibility and Adaptability
Optimism
• The ability to be positive in the face of setbacks
• To look at difficulties and challenges as specific, temporary, and external attributions about their situation;
• pessimists make more enduring, global internal attributions about a stressor.
Social Awareness
• Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions
• Cross cultural awareness
• Service to clients and customers
• Being “in-tune”
Empathy
1. Cognitive Empathy - to rationally understand how others see it, to take their perspective. Reflective listening
2. Emotional Empathy - to have compassion and to feel with another
3. Empathic Concern – “I sense what you need and here I am”
Detaching judgment from understanding
Relationship Management • Building and maintaining close interpersonal
relationships across boundaries
• Managing relationships well
• Can lead change
• Persuasive
• Give and receive feedback
Self Awareness
• Self Regard/confidence
• Reality Testing
• Knows goals, objectives, values
• Mindful
Social Awareness
• Empathy
• Cultural sensitivity
• Non judgmental
• Social Responsibility
Self Management
• Impulse control
• Assertiveness
• Stress Tolerance
• Motivation
• Flexibility
• Optimism
Relationship Management
• Builds strong relationships in & across boundaries
• Persuasive, leads change
• Mutual Feedback
Sapphire Consulting (603) 889-1099) www.consultsapphire.com
Charlie Wow
• High Self Regard and Self Actualization
• Highly Expressive, Assertive and Problem Solver
• Highly Socially Responsible
• Lower Empathy
• Low Impulse Control
• Low Stress Torlerance
• Low Reality Testing
Leveraging EQ to…..
Listen intently to yourself & others to connect with thoughts and feelings about people and process….
Learn from your own perspectives and those of others to find deeper meaning and to inform proactive problem solving for our challenges ahead
Lead others by sharing the knowledge of what you have learned and act on it with intention, purpose and an achievement attitude….
James Kimberly, President Sapphire Consulting
www.consultsapphire.com (603) 889-1099
ABCDE Technique - Albert Ellis
B
Step 3:
Beliefs I have
about me and
situation
C
Step 2:
Consequences
(Feelings I have
after the event)
D
Step 4:
Debate, Dispute,or
Discard my beliefs
E
Step 5:
Effects of D (how
has it changed my
thinking?)
A
I'll never get the order now that I missed the meeting.
My boss is going to kill me and I won't get the promotion to sales manager.
Flying Goose Airlines is always delayed!
Angry, Mad, Furious.
Pessimistic about my prospects of closing the deal
Depressed about my future with the company
I'll probably get a chance to present later, most people have experienced flight delays.
Even though my boss won't be happy, I still have a chance on the order if I can
reschedule the trip and do my best.
One order is not going to make or break my chances to get the promotion, I have had
a great year so far.
Flying Goose Airlines is late only 50% of the time, it could be worse!
It calms me down. If I can keep my cool with the agent as I reschedule perhaps she
can help me get there faster than if I get mad at her.
She didn't cause the mechanical problem, why get mad at her?
After a two hour delay, the gate agent announces the flight has been cancelled due to
a maintenance issue. I have been working on this big sales presentation to a
prospective customer for 3 months and now I won’t make the meeting.
Step 1:
Activating Event
ABCDE Technique - Albert Ellis
B
Step 3:
Beliefs I have
about me and
situation
C
Step 2:
Consequences
(Feelings I have
after the event)
D
Step 4:
Debate, Dispute,or
Discard my beliefs
E
Step 5:
Effects of D (how
has it changed my
thinking?)
A
Step 1:
Activating Event