Plugged-in Parents: Grades K-8

© 2018 Common Sense Media. All rights reserved. www.commonsense.org

Plugged-in Parents: Grades K-8Keeping kids safe, happy, and healthy in the digital age.



We are a trusted guide for the families, educators, and advocates who help kids thrive. We provide resources to harness the power of

media and technology, and to shape public policy to improve the well-being of every child.

We are



https://www.commonsensemedia.org/video/modal/5251131




What are some of

digital media's ?

What are your about digital media?


How do we use media in balance as a family, find quality content, set expectations around healthy use to prevent conflict, and raise media savvy consumers and creators?


All About That Balance

Physically healthy and sleeping enough?

Source: "New screen time rules from the American Academy of Pediatrics," Sonia Livingstone

Ask yourself — is my child:

Pursuing interests and hobbies (in any form)?

Connecting socially with family and friends (in any form)?

Having fun and learning in their use of digital media?

Engaged with and achieving in school?


Set Yourself Up For Success

What are best practices around digital media and devices ?

● Use media with your kid.● Know your own rules.● Set expectations and rehearse.● Connect media to real life.● Talk about commercials and other advertising.● Encourage creation as well as consumption.● Talk about digital citizenship.● Model the media behavior you want to see in your kids.


Since they’re using it...

What do you want them to get out of digital media?A. FunB. LearningC. ConnectionD. I just don’t want it to mess them up!


Be Choosy


ABCs and 123sLook for apps, TV shows, and movies with positive messages and educational value.


Declaring IndependenceAs kids get older, they go their own way

As kids get older, they go their own way


What was most important to you as a tween?

A. FriendsB. FamilyC. Fitting inD. Self-expressionE. All of the above?


Same child development, more powerful tools.


Common Sense Media Focus Groups, 2014.

Adults don’t get it. They think I’m addicted to technology — but I’m not.

I’m addicted to my friends.


Be the training wheels


ResponsibleDo they show basic responsibility with time, valuables, and behavior toward others?

SafeAre there reasons you need to be in touch for your kid to stay safe?

SocialIs there a social benefit to having a phone? A social cost to not having one?

RespectfulDo they generally follow rules? Will they agree to the limits you set?

A phone: To buy or not to buy?


Social media alienates kids.

Myth!

Myth or Truth ?

57 percent of all teens have made new friends online

84 percent of boys who play networked games with friends feel more connected when they play online

68 percent of teen social media users have had online friends support them through tough or challenging times


Social Media Mashup


Social Media Red Flags

Age-inappropriate content

Public default settings

Location tracking and sharing

Real-time video streaming

Ads and in-app purchases

"Temporary" pics and videos

Subpar reporting tools

Anonymity

Cyberbullying/negative culture


Self-reflect Before You Self-reveal!


Privacy Settings


Keyboards Can Make Us Careless and Cruel

It’s never too early to talk to your kid about digital citizenship, being kind online, and calling out cruelty!


Best Approach to Bullying

Report abuse

Encourage "upstanding"

Collect proof

Involve others

Limit online access


GuardChild citing Pew Internet and American Life Project, National Campaign to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, Cox Communications Teen Online and Wireless Safety Survey, YISS study

20–54%of teens have sent or posted sexy pictures of themselves. Most sexy pictures are sent to a significant other.

51%of girls say they felt pressure from a guy to send sexy pictures.

30-40%of teens say nude photos are shared beyond intended receiver.

Keeping Our Kids Safe

Worst-case scenarios exist, but they are not the norm!

9%of kids receive unwanted online sexual solicitations (as of 2010).

4%of kids have online interactions where a predator attempts to make contact offline




Digital Citizenship

It’s never too early to talk to your kid about digital citizenship, being kind online, and calling out cruelty.

Professor Garfield

Life Skills Lesson

● Cyberbullying

Lesson Scenario: Who is anonymously posting mean things about “Animal Idol” contestant Nermal?

https://learninglab.org/

https://learninglab.org/


Parent App


http://kids.ikeepsafe.org/Faux Paw’s Dangerous Download

In this new adventure, the Web-surfing Techno Cat learns that downloading is a great

way to get information . . . if it’s done the right way. When using a risky file sharing

program to get a new song, Faux Paw learns the hard way that illegal downloading hurts

everyone, including herself!

Faux Paw Goes to the Games:

Balancing Real Life with Screen Time

Have you ever gotten your real life mixed up with your online life? Faud Paw did, and wow,

did it cause a problem! After she got invited to light the flame at the Great Animal Olympics,

she got distracted playing WcW–Worlds of CatWars–online. Read this story to find out if she

was able to make it to the opening ceremonies in time to light the Olympic Cauldron

Faux Paw Meets the First Lady: How to Handle Cyberbullying

Do you know what you should do if someone says something mean or untrue about you

online? What about if it happens to one of your friends? Learn what Faux Paw finds out when

she meets former First Lady Laura Bush.


iKeepsafe

Faux Paw Adventures in the Internet

The internet is like a big city with great places to go, but you have to be careful! Faux Paw

found this out first hand. She had a REAL adventure on the internet, and it wasn’t the fun

kind. When you read what almost happened, you’ll see why it’s so important to follow the

rules for online safety!


What teens wish their parents knew about social mediaThe Washington Post, written by Ana Homayoun, January 9, 2018

“When you take away one device at night, you might not realize how many devices we still have with us.” Access to smartphones has shifted communication for teens, and self-regulation can be difficult. The fear of missing out (FOMO) can create an overwhelming desire to be connected — in fact, according to 2015 Pew Research, 94 percent of teens go online daily, which isn’t surprising, and 24 percent of teens feel as though they are online constantly. Encouraging kids to find effective ways to self-regulate is sometimes about getting their buy-in — that is, encouraging them to reflect on the impact their daily online habits are having on their personal, academic and extracurricular goals.

“Many of us have a fake Instagram account.” A parent recently told me she had full control over her ninth-grade son’s online interactions. She explained that he didn’t even know the password for his Instagram account, and that if he wanted to post something, he had to go through her. I quietly surmised that her son might be hiding some of his online activities from her. If kids are online, parents are usually more effective acting as mentors than as micromanagers. Having open-ended conversations rather than wielding authoritative control enables kids to build the critical thinking skills needed to make smarter decisions online and in-real-life. For some kids, a finsta (“fake” Instagram) or a rinsta (“real” Instagram) might be where they feel they can share their raw, authentic feelings, even though they don’t always realize that anything shared online has the potential for a greater audience, amplified consequences or longer shelf-life. It’s up to parents to find a way in, not through coercion, but through conversation.

http://www.pewinternet.org/2015/04/09/teens-social-media-technology-2015/


“If we are passionate or angry about something, we take it to social media.” Young people want their opinions to be heard. Many tweens and teens find their online communities are engaging, interactive and responsive. A message or Snapchat sent to a friend can result in an instant reply, and something posted to a group chat or online profile can create the opportunity for community-level conversation and engagement. Responses from friends and followers make kids feel heard and listened to, which is often critically important for those who simply want acknowledgment and validation (this isn’t, of course, much different for adults). At the same time, we know that teens’ and tweens’ brains are still developing and that kids often lack impulse control and the ability to understand the long-term consequences of decisions made in moments of anger and frustration. Parents who empathize with the challenges their children face can help them devise smarter, healthier ways to self-filter before posting.


And here are several things they’d like their parents to do:

“Talk with us about the apps we like to use and why. Most of you have no idea about our world.” One of my students recently told me how a group of nine of her friends from school were using family tracking apps to monitor one another. When she and a few of her friends wanted to hang out or were all in the same place, there would be a continual stream of social pressure, guilt and shame from others who weren’t invited (“Why are you hanging out without us? Guess you think you’re too cool for us?”). Her parents had no idea that some of their teen daughter’s friends were essentially stalking her. Many apps have geolocation features, and parents don’t realize the new level of potential pressure (and danger) these on-all-the-time experiences can bring. Ultimately, my student removed herself from the tracking group when she decided the stress she was experiencing wasn’t worth it. A tip? Ask your kids which apps they spend the most time on (or check their phone’s data usage). Download those apps and spend time learning the ins and outs.


“Help us keep an eye on who is following us.” Even when kids keep social media accounts private or provide restricted access, anyone can request to follow or friend them and potentially have full access to their postings. In a world where likes, loves, comments and follower counts have become a barometer for popularity, teens might find it difficult to turn away potential followers, even when they should. Parents and educators should encourage teens and tweens to curate access to their accounts.“Accept that there are lots of good things on social media — it is not all bad stuff.” Social media isn’t good or bad — it is a new form of communication and language that adults need to learn, because pretending it doesn’t exist generally isn’t a wise approach. When adults express genuine curiosity and compassion about the positive experiences associated with online interactions, kids are more likely to confide in them about the intertwining nature of their online and in-real-life experiences. Positive, supportive online communities can make a world of difference to kids who have moved to a new area, or who don’t feel particularly connected to their school community, or who aren’t able to attend school because of illness.

“Talk with us about sexting and healthy relationships in a way that isn’t awkward.” Tweens and teens who are socializing and navigating relationships online and in-real-life face challenges unheard of in previous generations. Some might mistakenly confuse the sending of explicit photos and messages with a level of intimacy that might not exist, and others might not fully understand the long-term social, emotional and legal consequences of sending, sharing and storing explicit photos (parents, check your local laws). According to the Harvard Graduate School of Education’s Making Caring Common Project, teens may benefit from conversations focused on promoting the skills needed to develop and maintain healthy relationships.

https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/mcc_the_talk_loveparenttips.pdf

https://mcc.gse.harvard.edu/files/gse-mcc/files/mcc_the_talk_loveparenttips.pdf


There’s some iffy stuff out there.


ChooseHelp kids make good choices.

CheckCheck whatthey're doing.

ChatFollow up with a chat.


We Can Help!

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/app-reviews/brainfeed-educational-videos-for-kids


https://www.commonsensemedia.org/



50 %of teens feel addicted to technology.

59%of parents feel teens are addicted.

Over 1/2of teens multitask while doing homework, and most believe it doesn't hurt the quality of their work.

Over 80%of parents and teens feel technology makes no difference or helps their relationships.

Use Media: Don't Let It Use You

Fear of missing out (FOMO) and social media anxiety are very real for teens.


Myth!

Myth or Truth ?

Parents spend less time on devices than kids/teens

Parents spend 9:22 with screen media daily, including for personal and work use. 7:43 of that time is devoted to personal screen time. Tweens spend an average of 6 hours/day and Teens an average of about 9 hours/day on screens.


ModelBe a media mentor and set the standard.

MonitorUse limits, not lectures, and be up front about checking their media use.

MediateBe ready to step in if necessary, but let teens make some choices on their own.


Device-Free Zones and Times


When all else fails, tracking software might, too.

Nick Shaw of Norton Security

"Technology is going to help you," he says, "but

it's not going to get away from the fact that you

should be having more conversations about this

with your kids."


Use media to connect, have fun, and guide kids as they start to navigate on their own.

Instead of shutting it all down, build it up!


Connect with us

@commonsensemedia

@CommonSense

commonsenseorg

Sign up today for ourtips and updates.

Tell your school about our digital citizenship curriculum.

Tell

Resources for Support

commonsensemedia.org


You got this!(image positive thumbs up, slightly humorous ok)

YOU GOT THIS!


© 2018 Common Sense Media. All rights reserved.

Common Sense, associated names, associated trademarks, and logos are trademarks of Common Sense Media, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization, FEIN 41-2024986.

Lifestyle image credits: Getty Images, Jen Siska Photography


Thank You


Sneaky Selling

Can't avoid, but can be aware!

Plugged-in Parents: Grades K-8

Documents

Transcript of Plugged-in Parents: Grades K-8