David StephensenQDT Management Consultants

+61 3 5443 9605www.qdt.com.au

Active voiceShort sentences

Bullets and numbersSimple words

Verbs not nouns

It takes time to read. Time is money. If your message doesn’t arrive, you lose. Everybody wants quick access to information

Know your audience. Use plain English. Structure your

information for easy reading.

Understand their: Context Viewpoints Skills

Use tools:

Personas

Scenarios

Everyday words Short sentences Active voice and writing personally Same words each time

◦ No synonyms◦ Same word pattern

Clear meaning

Chunking—the 7±2 rule◦ People only cope with about 7 things at a time.◦ People learn by grouping things into chunks.

Tables Headings Bullets and numbers

In what context will they read the information?◦ Motivation?◦ Pressure or distractions?◦ Other information available?◦ Access to experts for help?

What is the viewpoint of your audience?◦ Confident?◦ Caring about detail◦ Willing to use initiative?◦ Potentially hostile?

What do they know already?◦ What detail do you need?◦ Is it OK to use jargon?

What is their reading age?◦ Do you have to use REALLY simple language?

Personas◦ Create imaginary people who are your typical

audience members.◦ Make them ‘real’ —create a past, present and

future for them. Scenarios

◦ Create imaginary situations for your personas and make them ‘real’.

Directions around your suburb◦ With residents you can say

“Go to the hospital”. Industry jargon—use it when needed.

◦ neoplasm (to doctors)◦ tumour (to other people)

Absolute location◦ ‘Melways’ Map 30, A7◦ Third shop along Mitchell St from the High St

corner (partly relative)

Relative location◦ Take the third turn left and then the second turn

right.

Always use the same word for something—Don’t change names for variety.

Use the same word pattern—Don’t change for the sake of it.

Don’t worry about being boring.◦ Transfer information, don’t entertain.◦ Use pictures and colour to reduce boredom.

Traditional Plain English alternative

despite the fact that though, although

determine decide, work out, set, end

detrimental harmful, damaging

difficulties problems

diminish lessen, reduce

disburse pay, pay out

discharge carry out

disclose tell, show

disconnect cut off, unplug

discontinue stop, end

Avoid making verbs into nouns.◦ Don’t say “Make application”.◦ Say “Apply”.

Watch out for noun strings.◦ “tank restraint safety lock emergency release

lever” Being brief is good, but you can go too far!

i.e., e.g., etc., vs, et al, viz, viaergo, ad hoc, per annum, carte blanche, panache, raison d’etre, zeitgeist, chutzpeh

Some people don’t know foreign words.Use English!

Do keep enjoying them outside your business writing!

Quiz Point —What do these mean?

These (and many others) have no place in business English!

hereto hereinafter hereby aforesaid bequeath asunder

Break sentences up. Aim for 1–2 clauses per sentence.

This uses simple language, but it is too long!An orange is a round reddish-yellow fruit, which comes from a medium-sized tree harvested in the winter, and contains Vitamin C, essential for the vitality of human blood.

Break sentences up. Aim for 1–2 clauses per sentence.

This is better!An orange is a round reddish-yellow fruit. It comes from a medium-sized tree harvested in the winter. Oranges contain Vitamin C, essential for the vitality of human blood.

Have one idea per paragraph. When starting a second point make a new

paragraph

Address the reader directly. Use we and you.

This helps you to be clear about who does what.

Personal:

‘If you are not satisfied with our service, we may refund your money.’

Impersonal:

‘Refunds may be given to customers who consider that they have not received satisfactory service.’

When writing instructions, use commands (imperative).

Statement (not imperative):‘Passengers are not permitted to open the doors. Doors may only be opened by crew members.’

Command:‘Do not open the doors. Ask a crew member to open them for you.’

Who is the agent?◦ The person doing the action.◦ We usually want to know who the agent is.

Active voice:◦ Subject (agent) first—never missing ◦ Object last◦ Quicker to read◦ Clear who does what

‘Applicants must sign the form.’‘The manager posted the notice.’

Simple language can be ambiguous—◦ Check your work.◦ Get someone else to read it.

Hotel SignsNorway

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar. Budapest

Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.

When you want to give:◦ Information◦ Instructions◦ Warnings◦ Business communication

Creative writing◦ Poetry◦ Fiction

Personal letters Essays Journalism

Only have 7 items at a time. If you have more than 7, create groups. Give groups names (subheadings). If you have more than 7 groups, group the

groups and give them names. This is the natural way that everyone

learns.

Party piesPizzaPotato chipsCup cakesLamingtonsBirthday cakeSauceIceCordialDrink jugsCupsServiettesPlatesCandlesSparklersMatches

BalloonsStreamersGame prizesTablecloths‘Twister’ gameDonkey poster‘Blu-tack’Donkey tailsTreasure hunt prizesSend invitationsWarm piesMix cordialSet out foodSet up donkey gameSet up treasure hunt

FoodParty piesPizzaPotato chipsCup cakesLamingtonsBirthday cakeSauceIceCordialEquipment

(food)Drink jugsCupsServiettesPlatesCandlesSparklersMatches

Equipment (other)BalloonsStreamersGame prizesTableclothsGames‘Twister’ gameDonkey poster‘Blu-tack’Donkey tailsTreasure hunt prizesTasksSend invitationsWarm piesMix cordialSet out foodSet up donkey gameSet up treasure hunt

In what way is information the opposite of food?

In what way is information the opposite of food?

To digest food, we break it down into components.

To digest information, we build it up into chunks.

If you have more than two pairs of items, use a table.

The Blue team has 5 members, the Red team has 7 members and the Green team has 4 members.

If you have more than two pairs of items, use a table.

The Blue team has 5 members, the Red team has 7 members and the Green team has 4 members.

Team Members Blue 5 Red 7 Green 4

Put headings and subheadings in your text:◦ Readers can quickly see what it is about.◦ Readers may only need to read some parts.◦ The headings ‘chunk’ the information for easy

digestion.

Make a hierarchy:◦ Normally uses level 1, 2 and 3.◦ Shows the structure of your document.◦ Makes it easy to generate a table of contents.

If you list 3 or more items, show them on separate lines.

If there are 9 or more items, split the list into two levels (‘chunking’).

Know when to use bullets and numbers.

Numbers:◦ Use when there is order or rank:

Steps Ranking

Bullets:◦ Use for other lists.

Neither:◦ OK for single line lists.

Heat the pan.

2 Fry onions.

3 Brown the meat.

4 Add the curry paste.

5 Fry for two minutes.

6 Add stock or water.

7 Simmer for 20 minutes.

1 Heat the pan.

2 Fry onions.

3 Brown the meat.

4 Add the curry paste.

5 Fry for two minutes.

6 Add stock or water.

7 Simmer for 20 minutes.

Favourite pastimes: Going to the movies, but only to see shows

that cheer people up Watching football on TV Walking in the bush Having coffee with friends

Favourite pastimes: Going to the movies, but only to see shows

that cheer people up Watching football on TV Walking in the bush Having coffee with friends

Shopping list:

bread

lettuce

pasta

milk

bananas

! ; . , : ?Misplaced! Dangling!

Squinting! Agreement!

Use when the phrase is not essential:◦ Tim, who smokes, may get cancer.

Not when the phrase is essential for the sentence:◦ People who smoke may get cancer.

Separating items in a list, but Not separating subject and verb:

The large, grey object fell from the ceiling.

Not hereHere

Which clauses add information and have a comma.Go to the main menu, which shows all options.

That clauses help to identify or distinguish.List all orders that have status Approved.

Changes we are considering will affect all new members. (misplaced)

People who jog often have knee injuries. (squinting)

Walking around the town, the prosperity was easy to see. (dangling)

Don’t do it this way!

One of the boys has arrived. Several have gone home.

Any, none, some, most depend on the context◦ Most of the money is in the bank.◦ Most of the crew are aboard.

Collective nouns depend on the context◦ The team has arrived. (as one)◦ The team are getting changed. (as individuals)

Present tense◦ He eats the cake.

Past tense◦ He ate the cake.

Future tense◦ He will eat the cake.

Present tense◦ Use most of the time.

Past tense◦ Only use to show something in the past.

Future tense◦ Only use to emphasise a time delay. Otherwise

use present tense.

First person (I, we)◦ I eat the cake.

Second person (you)◦ You eat the cake.◦ Eat the cake!

Third person (he, she, they, it)◦ She eats the cake.

Indicative (narrative)“The Line Manager authorises the Application for Leave.”

Imperative (command)“Authorise the Application for Leave.”

Progressive (in the act of ‘-ing’)“Authorising the Application for Leave”

Apostrophes have two correct uses:◦ Possessive—John’s book, the dogs’ collars.◦ Shortening words—I wasn’t hungry.

Never use apostrophes just for plurals. These are correct:◦ Three cappuccinos, please.◦ The bank has two new ATMs.

Shall◦ Do not use. It sounds pompous and legalistic.

Just say ‘Do it.’ Will (future tense)

◦ Only use to emphasise a time delay. Otherwise use present tense.

Must◦ Use sparingly for very important things or

people will ignore it.◦ If you put it in for something that is optional, you

could fail an audit. Please

◦ It is nice to be nice, but ‘please’ creates word clutter.

Put AND or OR at the end of each item if it is not clear whether:◦ All items apply OR◦ At least one item applies

Use consistent naming for everything. Build a list of terms:

◦ Let everyone contribute.◦ Store in common area.◦ Categorise the terms (7±2!).◦ Later on, add definitions to make a useful

glossary.

Do not use slash / It creates ambiguity and confusion. Does it mean ‘or’ or ‘and’?

--- or --- or both is better than and/or Do not use (s) or /s to allow for a possible

plural. Just make it plural anyway.