L A U R E N Ţ I U B U D Ă U

Pieces of Soul(monologue for an actrice extremely sexy and smart) *

* The case in which it could appear serious difficulties for the indentification of that personwho shall combine both qualities, the compatibility with the last of the requirements iscompulsory.

The author

-2015-

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A military hospital of campaign. The pacients are in fact some large puppets,extremely primitive and rather without exppression, wrapped up with generosity inbandages not exactly clean... Depending on the project's financial posibilities, it can beinstalled from the mininium of three metallic beds up to an infinity... In the mostprobable situation of the adhesion of the brave performer to the means of the "poorteathre" the role of the pacients can be taken over with success by the (un)existentpublic....

Barbara's clothes can be found in any eccentric outfit of Barbie which will makeher curves stand out.

Why should I keep silent? What should I do?! Do you have more ideas of the sort?Tell me, do you have more, more stupid ideas, you boy?! What should I tell them, dear, whatshould I tell them; what colour is your bra, what colour is my thong?! (deaf groans)Have you entirely gone mad, Piti?! Seventy; can you imagine, brother, that anywayyou would have taken it, seventy is still seventy?! For that much you have signed for withthe general with black glasses, with the superintendent of the hospital?! Are youcompletely mad, you never have enough! I?! Who put you up to this, who put you?!Unspeakable!!! Terrible!!! Horrible!!!...What sort of relevant dialogue should I carry on withthese living dead, with these reeked moribunds, with these rotten farters, what sort ofdialogue?! About Plato?! About Eros and Thanatos?! About Nana Mouskouri?! Leave mealone! You are seriously not right, it can be seen that your mother dropped you and thatyou fell and bumped your head when you were little! (this is right, although I cannotimagine you little at all)Tell me, what things can I have in common with these broken killing peoplemachines? Should I tell them about the weather or UFOs? About the stereo-specificpolymerization of isoprene? Abracadabra! There you go! I will give you to wear my flimsydresses and you should talk to them about the weather and UFOs. Only you. What do yousay? Yes, yes, you, you! Were you not the one who signed? You solve the problem!...Dear, I am not angry; of course I am not angry at all, even if my voice shivers a littlebit more, even if my blood pressure yells like a locomotive on high speed at the sight of awrecked Dodge stucked permanently on the tracks! The tournament is tournament andhere it is a horrible restroom! OK? OK! OK!!! A grande and big restroom! You know that Ihave not been happy at all, never agreed for us to stop at this unflagged road junction, forus to station here, in the restroom!

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What matters if they sacrificed themselves for the good of others (who are theothers?), every man with his job, they were payed royally for that. Yes, yes, out of taxes,from our money taken by force from us with a smile! It took them three weeks to learn howto cut with the bayonet a frozen hull of pork tattoed with the faces of Ben Laden andSaddam and two more to learn how to shoot after crows and bald eagles through thedesert(if you did not know, an assiduous butcher, takes the same amount of time to get hiscertificate), I, studied three years sharp at The Actors Studio with Lee Strasberg, “hip byhip” and the great Al Pacino and Harvey Keitel... Yes, yes, New York, New York! Glory, glory,hallelujah!Do you know what astronomic payments, what big pensions, what stiff aids get theones from the gouvernment, at every end of the week, these professional murderers andtheir relatives? This is it! Eh stiff, we take the tricks. No, no, uncle, do not tell me sweetwords! They assumed their risks knowingly. Yes, yes. They did not went to the disco, theydid not went to play hopscotch. (groans) They knew from the beginning what expectedthem there and at home. You know very well that I did not agree to step out of my pinklimo with air conditioner. Can you figure out how many germs tramp around here, howmany raffish viruses, that are no longer under control? Can you figure out how manyhonest women, how many children, how many men wearing a turban and how manypiebald goats have these soldiers, filled with steroids, rapped?Hypothetically speaking, yes, hypothetically... What if they have AIDS, what if theyhave syphilis, what if they have anthrax, have you thought of this, you brilliant? Tell me...have you, Piti?! Motherfucker, you thought only about the bank account, have you not? Ahh,I do not have to touch them, not even with a flower, it is absolutely not necessary, it is notmentioned in the contract even if you did not have the time to skim through it. I do not evenhave to change their bandages, I do not even have to carry the bedpan, I cannot look themin the eyes? Then, for what did I come for?! Only to talk a mile a minute, to speak like a fool?“The words that heal.” Ha-ha! Leave me out of this shit.How generous of you, brother, how generous! Much to generous. I only have to usemy swingle, to speak to them non stop... like this, about anything...with someaffectation...the words that heal the pain, the words which cast the wounds... Seventy, ofcourse seventy! What lines, what lines! If you want to I will note that down for you, I willnote that down, note that down, brother! Fuck their money, I am not mother Dolores, I amnot nun Ranina! Do you know that I do not feel responsible about anything that willhappen, that is about to happen? Leave me, dear, I do not know everything, I am not theRed Cross!!!Ahh, I have to start immediately, because after exactly seventy minutes dinner willbe served? The general, I see, the general, the boss, the superintendent of the hospital, has

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to show up with the helicopter as we speak, with Sikorsky UH-60 Black Hawk! What, he iscoming with the press, his bringing also the televisions?! CBS, Fox, ABC, NBC and CW?! Ohmy God! All of them?! Can you figure out what opportunity, what advertising, what chanceto promote myself as a new comer, as a fresh graduate from The Actors Studio? Robertwould be proud of me, he would be thrilled, he would make snooks at everybody for me,Piti! It is clear, it is very clear, it is even plain; we cannot miss this opportunity, we cannotmake any step back!...Start, start, start! Calm, calm, calm! I am settling a new record of equipping andunequipping! What are you staring at?! Help me close my zipper! Ouch!... Ouchh! But, youhave to know, with all this euphoria I disengage during these freaky moments, if you wantto keep being my manager, this will be the last time you will see me in such a horribleplace like this one, in such a horrible place like this one... Ouch! ...Let it go!Surprise!!! Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and cranberries... Hi,slug soldiers! Hi, men with mosuatche! The guard is changing at Birmingham! Of course,(even if you did not see it) I have adopted a different outfit, with a shorter skirt.Ridiculously short. Ta-ra-ra-ra, ta-ram-ta-ram! Wakeeee up!!! Attention! It is I, worthless, itis I, crooked! It is I, lucky ones! It is I, stinkers! Not some Mother Queen! It has nothing todo! Yes, yes, stop dreaming, by all means! My name is Barbara!!! You must not, you mustnot by any means applaud! Yes, yes, I was only passing by, on a simple, casual and stylishpassing through here, before I leave with my neverending fiance, my muscly Ken numbertwo, on our honey moon! Yes, yes, you did not know that I and my handsome Ken numbertwo leave every year, by hand and with just one luggage, for about five or six times on ourhoney moon, sometimes even twelve?!Should I cut myself, elder brother Smith Neculai?! Very, very exhausting! Extremly!To fake happiness all the time is like you never have it! Believe me, happy ones! I envy youa lot, you, the ones who have no temptation to rise up from here and leave these luxuriousbeds, so comfortable, to greet the general! (resounds unworthy a screeching chorus)Piti! Hi, Piti! Hi! Do not embarass me, especially here, Piti! How should I adapt to thesituation? What "sort" of situation should I adapt to?! Are you insane?! I am not made ofplastic, I am not, dear, I am from latex! Can you not see how these mutants handle me withtheir looks everywhere like a scanner? How should I go on? ...Seventy, yes, seventy?Hi! Hi! Hi! Where are your trumpets, to demolish the steeples?!! Strawberries,blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and cranberries... Where are your trumpets, to chaseaway the owls?! Where are your cannons. To turn over the annons... yes, yes, as if it is leftsomething to turn over...

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Piti you are starting, in fact you are continuing to annoy me! If we are professionals,let us be professionals! Where are the surveillance speakers?! Seventy! Seventy, that iswhat is written in the contract, we should do it of seventy! Not longer, not shorter, notwider, not cambered. More, no, you can forget about it, no! The location does not inspire meto improvise...Come on! You, old men, you veterans from the sheets! Wake up!!! Start pissing, yousuffering of prostate! "Heroes they were, heroes they still are, until they are hit byErysipelas.” Why are you staring at me, with strange and empty eyes, as if I were a frogbrought to be dissected?... Ahh! This is how all glass eyes stare?! Ahh! I did not know?!Sorry! I was not warned, how was I supposed to know, Sir?! What sort of flabby welcomingis this one?! Come on! on! Come onnn!!! Where are the welcomings, the famous soldierwelcomings of old times from the aircraft carriers that you did for Marylin?! Such a shortmemory we have! It does not work like this! Can you put a litte bit of effort? No problem, noproblem. We recreate! We recreate! Yes, yes, maximum of comfort with minimum of effort...Can you smile a little bit? Extraordinary! What do you mean, you all have prosthesis andgreen glass eyes? All of you, all?!This is not the kids ward! Not at all, Piti! This is not a ward of little kids, nor one of“bunnies”; perhaps it seems like one of cowards!... Where the fuck did you bring me, Piti?Where the fuck do you keep leaving me, Piti? Piti leave it like this and we will talk about itoutside! I will eat you alive! In what horrible shith did you get me into? Is this how youthink fame is won?! Leave it like this because I have something for you, you idiot!(coming to more peaceful feelings) Then, at least a little smile, a tiny little one! Yes,yes, esteemed and loved countrymen! Let us concentrate! This is what it is missing to ourblessed country - focusing, holy focusing. God Bless America!!! Smile, baby, smile, smile,

smile!!!Oh! We do not have lips to talk? What a tragedy? We seek and find resources! (Ahh,do not even think about Irak! Ahh, do not even mention Irak!) We can handle it, we canhandle it, how can we handle it... We smile with what we have, we smile with what we can!Did you ever tried to smile with the eyebrows? Brave not at all, only comfortable, verycomfortable! Can I have, at least, a little like?! Like! Like! Like!!! A little vote? At least a littlevote? Vote, vote, vote!!!What do you mean, you do not even have hands?! And with what will we salute thehandsome Sir general in crutches?! Oooh! Shame on you... for all those from the outside thathave and do not give not even if they get burned, not even if they get cut, a little, a simplevote! Shame on you... for all of those from the outside that have and do not give, not evenif they get burned, not even if they get cut, a simple coin for this deserted institution fromthe end of the humanity! (I'm going to kill you, you animal, I will kill you, Piti! Call my driver

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immediately, call that loser of Ken number 1 to come and take me, to come and take meaway from here!)No problem! How can this small change be a problem for a fighter, excuse me, aformer fighter?! I saw once a tiny Filipino-so skinny that you could have said that he is a kidfrom the kindergarten-that signed his taxes with a mine pen between his lips, who paintedstuds of plumped up peacocks simply and solely with his twisted toes from his straightlegs... Poor man! No, he was not, by any chance, as brave as you are, as brave as you are,only that he was yellowish, only a little bit more lethargic and a little bit more practical,very practical...Can the palettes be heard? And me who I thought that it is the mixer from the messhall. Is he coming?! All the watts available, all the lights, all the sports come to me! Are weconcentrating, are we not? (Ahh, do not even think of Irak! Ahh, do not even mentionAfghanistan, do not even mention Irak!) Hurry up, hurry up! Like this, like this, in choir!“Happy Birthday to You/ Happy Birthday to You/ Happy Birthday Dear soldiers / HappyBirthday to You.” Come on, more vividly! Together! (an impetuous choir of worthymilitary farts) Let's give life to the camouflaged institution! Let's give life to theimpossible! Together, it means separately, but still together! Like this!!! And those withoutass, and those without face! Yes, yes, except the one without life! “From good friends andtrue,/ From old friends and new,/ May good luck go with you,/ And happiness too.”I supposed so, deflated cocks, that you did not expect to come at the head of the bed, a hag winner of the Nobel Prize for Peace; one with a hood, with a varnished cane, withmoths and a scarf, in addition to all that with an anorexic and pommeled parrot on theshoulders, on the shoulders, but not like that! Why are you keep rubbing your eyes, whatare you keep staring at, why are you holding on to your fly, to your crap?! Attention! Whydid you go cold all over?! Do you not know anything else besides the dwarfish position?!Really?! Vote, vote, vote!!! What do you mean with what? With the crutches, of course, withthese beautiful chiseled crutches by the Indians crucified on bottles of Coca cola...Pull yourself together! Change of tactics, change of organ, change of program,change of plan, change of enthusiasm! Bam-bam! It is I!!! Yes, yes, that one, still that one!Your number one supporter! Of course!!!! Barbara, the wonderful, fantastic doll with giraffelegs, ostrich neck, thin arms and generous breats, extremly generous! (let us be clearlyunderstood: we are talking about ripe apples not about melons!) Etc, etc! I warn you! Anytouch according to the article 15.231 from the contract, is forbidden, strictly forbidden, butinterpretable.Bar-bie! Bar-bie! Bar-bie! Barbie, this time not really out of fantastic plastic but inlean flesh, bones, with the worst and best of both worlds! Flesh, flesh, flesh! The lastesttwist, the lastest finding when it comes about toys of the famous American producer, of

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father Mattel, of the talented father and mother, mother and vomit, Mattel... Aproximatelyright. Mattel, yes. Yes, yes, even I, hope him to stop; even I hope this is the last one. SinceMattel made me(because about creating me we cannot even talk about; because aboutcreating it cannot ever be debated for Mattel to create something, sometime), I have neverencountered a finding so sexual, so durable, so marketable. Did you know that, every threeseconds, is sold a luxurios copy from my super collection?Well, if it does not interest you, if you did not know, now you found out! Moveforward with guts, forward! (Hi, Piti! Hi!) I wish him to stop here, daddy, at least out ofrespect. And you and him. Both some as well as others... Ahh, did you stop already? (NoIrak, I said, without the God-damned Irak!) Did you station here, at the base?! Out of need?!More precisely,were you abandoned?!Sorry, sorry! Not that I came especially for this, but I could not stand that, instead ofreproducing myself ,to be reproduced, over and over, endlessly. (Joke!) But I know that Hedoes not hope for that to ever happen, for this to be his last finding in the domain, but Iknow for sure that He hopes that every second to sell at least one copy, but I know he hopesevery tenth of second to get to sell at least one copy or,why not, by all means two; and thatbecause He has instead of a heart a rattling wallet that does not leave a place forpsychedelic interpretations, romantic or medieval; a very rattling wallet, so rattling that itdid not even let Him, the big gun, the king of the dolls' manufacturers, to sleep a little, totake a nap, not even a tiny little to fall asleep, for him to put a simple and an actualparenthesis between “good night”, “good morning” and the horrors -his million dollars;between “good night”, “good morning” and “money” -altough I can swear on my numberlessplastic hearts of all colours - which are more or less slangy- because the Boss loves entirelythe parenthesis, absolutely all the depilated parenthesis, but especially the ones from hisdivision of standard secretaries, especially those who open them without any effort orcontribution or discomfort coming from His part... Sport, sport, sport...Hi, Piti! Hi! Seventy, seventy, yes? Are you timing? At least it talks, a luxurious andhomologated doll! The copy and the second, the copy and the second! Bow out, bow in! Thesecond and the copy, the second and the copy! Raise the glass, drop the glass! Ofchampagne, of course, even though it is not the real deal, strawberries, blueberries,

raspberries, blackberries and cranberries flavoured, basically a stupid lie for unpatient kids,addicted to Counter-Strike, that want to copy by all means, in absolutely any way, the pooradults that want to become kids again...Complicated, of course. It is about brain snaps. Yes, of course we are, jumping,jumping over stages as if we were olympic champions; without smoking it, only to maketime pass, without burning them, brother, without incinerating them, without turning themto ashes first; of course, dear audience, dear listeners, watchers, viewers and arsonists,

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honored injury and public (Hi! Hi! Hi!) - for any woman who has passed, for somewhile...over some springs I still look extraordinarly good, terrificly, on top of all that - evenunchanged, and this because dolls did not learn yet how to grow old at all.Do you want to convince yourselves? Here, have my pink notebook: 9th of March1959, time 10 a.m. New York. The annual fair of toys...This is what it is written on my birthcertificate with unknown parents, lack of knowing, publicated on my extra pink blog;although voices, the competitor voices of course, say that, in fact, I was born long before Iwas actually born and that, previously of getting called like I am called, I was called Lili... Li-li?! Terrible! How suburban can it sound! I was, supposedly, a doll with very appetizingcurves towards the rest of the market which was free falling and rather mature (how somesay), dedicated exclusively to solitary and depressed men,to men left by their manhood, bymothers, wives, lovers and diamonds, boyfriends and girlfriends;to sum it up– to patheticold boys who cry in the darkness, silently, with their heads dug deep between jellies,scattered chocolate cakes and the turkeys cut to pieces from the fridge on the magical nightof Christmas... “Silent night, holy night / All is calm, all is bright... Silent night, holy night/Shepherds quake at the sight...” Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries andcranberries...The idea is very tricky and I do not believe that it would be appropriate for you toget exhausted decoding it... Do you understand? Do you understand me?! Really?! Ooohh!To be honest, I did not even expect to be understood so fast by some completely fellowheadless creatures!... Piti! Where did you bring me, Piti?!!! A personal record for the blondegirl inside of me, made especially to turn and twist minds...

Strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, blackberries and cranberries... (Ouch! My hand!Get you hands off of me, you asshole! Sorry, I did not know that in this ward there are otherwomen than myself! Ahh, you have not been always a woman? A splinter helped; Iunderstand, I understand the splinter...) Actually, to be really honest, for us to be reallyhonest, not even now I am considered a doll designed exclusively for girls, not even now Iam, not even now I feel like a doll exclusively designed for girls, but this is overlooked orsilenced by most parents who are well off, because, as you are well aware, I am relativelylight but not cheap... Like! Like! Like!!! A glass, please, a glass with still water Evian! Yes, yes,the muddy one coming through the pipes is also good; yes, yes, this cold tea is also good,full of undissolved bromide! Thank you, thank you, Piti! Vote, vote, vote!!!Is he late? What a pig with ranks! Please, it was expected... In fact, to be reallyhonest, for us to be really honest, not even now I know what am I doing here, in (excuse me,but this is the real truth!) this imperfect pigsty. I have to be at I do not know which bankerson's birthday and, by chance, I got stuck here...Bad luck!

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How did you guess?! Seventy minutes, exactly. Full honesty. These are the minutesprovided in the company's contract, what goes over is my own business. I had periods oftime when, I am not exaggerating at all, I got over with even seven hundred minutes. O-ho-ho! Ahh, you did not know?! I am often invited at the birthdays of the rich men's sons whogot tired of firing at the crystals of their parents, who got tired of kicking the asses of thehungry squads of clowns, summoned annualy to brighten up the similar parties, who gottired to look at the big ass of fat helps when they wash or polish the flight of stairs orbrake and twist the cigars of their busy fathers, way too busy...You did not know?! Sorry, but here in the hospital, probably because of these khakiwalls way too sound proofed, the news from the outside get here with difficulty, sometimesnone at all. Yes, it was not hard to guess, the boys from nowadays do not want little toy carsas they did some time ago, do not want tanks, elephants, robots and laser guns; yes, yes,newly even boys want to play with dolls, especially living ones like I am. What is it sosurprising? We talk on everywhere about the equality between sexes but why should wenot even apply the concept. This is the fashion launched recently by the Mattelcompany,doll bearer. The procedure is very simple. The special telephone numberis calledcompounded by twenty zero and the order is made. It is established the day, location,number of minutes requested and of course the modality of payment for the service...The bad part of the business is that you cannot ever count on the seriousness of theclients. Two weeks ago I was scheduled to animate the party of the first loss of tooth for theboy of an owner of a chain of rag stores from the east coast. The boy, little John, did notseem too interested in my colorful presence from the party realizing that I had nothing todo with the adorable Tooth Fairy, but his father, seeing that I am part of a limitied series, hewould have wanted very bad to rent me only for him and to study my unique mode offabrication.Leave me the hell alone, once and for all, with your stinky Irakul! Do not mention meAfgha... Yes, yes, then I established my own and personal record. The 29th of June 2012. BigJohn thought that I was only one of those cheap gooses that he had something to do beforeand that get to pick their feathers off , feather by feather; he thought that I am a poormortal that will faint at the first sight of his check book(to be honest, I was about to faint,but I kept myself strong, so strong that I even mentioned Mendeleev). He offered, so hesaid, to show me his house with thousands of rooms and little rooms, hallways and littlehallways, full of furniture Louis IX, X, XI, XII, XIII, XIV, XV şi XVI style, stuffed with all sort ofplasma tvs and surveiling cameras while I was continuousely talking insatiable: “Summer iscoming ,is coming/ It sets all over the country/ Flowers on the fields/ Lets gather themkids!”... Do not believe that I had no plan, although I smelled the cheapskate. Any womanhas a plan. A, B, C, D. Until X.

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Not even Troy could have resisted his focused siege better than I did. No, no. I waspretending to be interested in the impressive inventory of the “hovel”, exalting him all thetime and asking for information and additional edifications from the owner who suddenly,out of his exaggerated kindness through which he led me(or so he thought) like a gentlesheep to the shed, he had changed completely his romantic register, getting to push me, inthe beginning discret, then forgetting completely about the code of the inital good mannershe manifested his native rudeness grabbing me by the hand which he had almost bruised itfrom so much keen squeezing.I had arrived in a very poor room with one mattress pushed to a corner when... Piti,appeared with his clean and black suit, like a saviour angel on the doorstep telling meimperatively to go downstairs in that moment, in the yard and to do the job I had beenasked to do. Then, exactly in that moment I was putting my rumpled outfit back togetherbecause of the sinuous track, he communicates to the redneck the registered time and whodid not protest, but who did not even tell that he will invite us a second time. Blue Beard...Close your mouth, boy, why did you keep your mouth open?! I know that my storiescould seem to you a little bit... Shut up, shut up, boy! Be serious!... Help, help! Somebodyhelp me! We have a dead! A dead, Sir, completely dead! Dead, dead, dead! Deceased, dead,how do you want to call it! Piti, go to the chief physician and tell him to get it out of here, tofree the space, to take him to the morgue! The procedure is that he has to keep him in theward for at least four hours, until the decease is comfirmed?! What is left to be confirmed,is it not clear that he is not coming back? I also had an aunt who did not come back to life...You, boy, you... To do this especially to me... Can you not see what tough days I have,what hard life I have, do you want it to make it to be harder than it already is? Beautiful,very beautiful! I thought that soldiers are gentlemen, some real men, that they are put toprotect you with their strong chests and not leave you behind felling out of your element,like a dry shit in a forest, especially when everything seems pink. Is that what they teachyou in this army?! Shame on you! Come back, at least for Barbie's sake! Come on, push yourlimits, why do you have to go there so young. Do you know what, do you know who waitsfor us there. To die is no big deal. Nobody came back from there to tell us how it is thereand you know why because there is no there, there is nothing, you boy... or whatever yourname is... Bobby or Sam... Ahh, S.29061966.X! Come back, Sir S.29061966.X! It is better tobe here on earth S.29061966.X than nothing over there! Believe me! Believe me! Stopgrining! For the love of God, stop grining! I am talking very serious! Serious!Why are you also grining, you... S.57302444. Y! Look, I came to bring you here in theward the words that bring comfort, relief, the words that heal souls and bodies and you aredoing pranks with me! Attention S.57302444. Y! Attention! Attention! Leave it like that Iwill tell the general how you try to take a glimpse under my skirt with your absent looks,

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how you kiss me everywhere with your absent lips, how you touch me indecently,everywhere, with your absent arms!Zoophilics! Rapists! Rapist S.57302444. Y! I will complain to the general with blackglasses, the general with the white cane, to send you to the sweatbox! Yes, yes, toEisenhower or whatever he is called... All of you, all of you, motherfuckers! I came here togive you pieces of soul and you... you... You pigs! No, no, no! Do not tell me the same thingwith Afghanistan, or that thing with Irak! Report S.57302444.Y if you are as dead as yourcomrade S.29061966. X! Affirmative?! I forbid you to go “there”! “There”, no, did youunderstand asshole?! This blessed country needs you, me, all of us! Here! Here! Your dearcountry who you swore abiding faith it is “Here” not “There”! “Here”, “Here”, do youunderstand?! S.57302444. Y! S.57302444. Y!OMG, but here everybody is dying! Dear ones, forget about statistics; if you promiseme that from this moment on nobody will die, I will let you all to kiss me, wherever youwant, yes (you heard very well even though you have no ears), wherever you want!... Leaveme, Piti: and what if the normal seventy minutes provided in the contract are gone?!Attention, soldiers! I will let you play with my silicone breasts, of course; and if you missyour mothers I could even nurse you... No, no I do not anything extra for this, let us beunderstood, in fact I do not even want to, I do not want anything else. (torns the contractinto tiny pieces)Did you not have by your side for a long time a real woman, did you? Some of youdo not even know what a real woman is, is it?! I will let you, how can I not let you touch meeverywhere with your hands, with the limbs that you are missing, which you do not have!Today I am everything for you: I am your mother, I am your sister, I am your friend, I amyour lover and your whore... only that no, I beg you, do not keep going “there” (removesher funky wig, wipes out her doll make up)Lets do a big circle, yes, yes come closer easily! Lets hold our hands tight! Even if youdo decide to go, I would not like you to feel that you are alone and abandoned like somebroken toys in a barrel which is taken to the foundry... Lets talk about us. Straight, honestlytrue. Having faith.Lying words do not heal, lying words cannot at all heal. Tell me about this big fat lieabout Irak, tell me about that big fat lie about Afghanistan... Then, because I am the bestwith words from this circle, I will start talking, Barbara Weissmann. No, no, it is not timed!I will break my soul in tiny little pieces, as some steamy bagels and I will put itstraight in the middle as in a cafeteria. I have to confess to you that even from the beginningthat I have never graduated from The Actors Studio with the great Lee Strasberg, I do noteven know how the building looks like. In fact, I have never graduated from anything. I

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have to confess that my personal record is exactly of 700 minutes and it is establishedactually on... the couch and in the jacuzzi of the great Blue Beard...All the “little boys” want nowadays to play with “dolls”, this is the cruel and absolutetruth. Lets lossen up the background, for you to not want to go. As it is this life looks morelike a cesspool... Do you know that one with the French little girl? (sings with ardor)

“The French little girl if you want to kissYou give her a candy and…”Has the general really come? Have all the televisions come? CBS, Fox, ABC, NBC andCW?! Oh boy! Very good! Very good! (sings with increased ardor)

“In the river Guango if you want to swimThe snake Boa bites off the limb...limb,limbLimb, limb!Curtain