Pet Loss and College Students Jessica Terwilliger, MA June 2, 2011.
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Transcript of Pet Loss and College Students Jessica Terwilliger, MA June 2, 2011.
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Pet Loss and College Students
Jessica Terwilliger, MAJune 2, 2011
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Why should therapists care about pet loss?
• Scope of pet ownership in the United States• Brief lifespan of companion animals• Roles that companion animals play in human
lives• Ethical principles
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Understanding Pet Loss
• Grief Responses After the Loss of a Pet• Human-Animal Bonds• Disenfranchised Grief
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Understanding Pet Loss:Grief Responses After the Loss of a Pet “I knew I’d miss him, but I never dreamed just
how much. I don’t care about anything else right now, not my job, not my family, nothing. Nothing else matters. I just want [my pet] back. There is this big hole, empty place, in me and in my life and nothing has any appeal…. I wish I could think of something that could take it away, but nothing can” (Carmack, 1985, p. 149).
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Understanding Pet Loss:Grief Responses After the Loss of a Pet• Research suggests that, for many people, the
grief experienced after the loss of a pet is analogous to the grief experienced after the loss of an important human companion such as a parent, child, or spouse. At 2 weeks and 26 weeks post-loss, individuals grieving the loss of a companion animal and individuals grieving the loss of another human experience similar levels of anger, despair, social isolation, rumination, depersonalization, somatization, loss of control, and death anxiety (Gerwolls & Labott, 1994).
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Understanding Pet Loss:Grief Responses After the Loss of a Pet• Surveys of bereaved pet owners (e.g., Wrobel & Dye, 2003; Archer & Winchester,
1994) indicate that common grief reactions include:• Numbness/disbelief.• Preoccupation with the loss or with memories of the pet.• An urge to search for the lost pet.• Being drawn to reminders of the lost pet.• Anger/irritability.• Depressed mood.• Hopelessness.• Anxiety.• Crying.• Loneliness. • Guilt. • Somatic symptoms (e.g., physical pain, the feeling of a lump in one’s throat).
• The majority of participants indicated that the loss of their pet had significantly impacted their lives (Archer & Winchester, 1994).
• Although grief symptoms subsided over time for many participants, for a considerable number of participants, grief symptoms persisted for up to a year after the loss (Wrobel & Dye, 2003).
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Understanding Pet Loss:Grief Responses After the Loss of a Pet
Factors that may influence grief responses after the loss of a pet include:• Previous losses.• Personal beliefs about the appropriateness of
grieving.• Attachment strength and style.• Perceived social support.• Gender.• Age.• Circumstances surrounding the death.
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Understanding Pet Loss:Human-Animal Bonds
“Animals are such agreeable friends – they ask no questions, they pass no criticisms.”
– George Eliot
“Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet.”– Colette
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Understanding Pet Loss:Human-Animal Bonds
• Throughout the course of history, animals have filled diverse and integral roles in human lives: utilitarian workers; sources of sustenance; spiritual guides or guardians; curative forces and dispensers of healing; agents of socialization; connections to the natural world; and sources of social support and physical comfort (Serpell, 2000).
• In recent years, scholars and laypeople have given greater attention to the non-utilitarian and personalized relationships between animals and human beings.
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Understanding Pet Loss:Human-Animal Bonds
• The meaning that contemporary pet owners ascribe to the relationships they share with their companion animals may vary, yet it is not uncommon for people to describe their pet as a “child,” a “loved one,” a “best friend,” “family,” a “soul mate” or meaning “everything” to them (Archer & Winchester, 1994; Carmack, 2003).
• Like human companions, animal companions may serve as attachment figures, providing individuals with a sense of comfort and security when faced with distressing or threatening events (Holmes, 1994).
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Understanding Pet Loss:Human-Animal Bonds
• Although relationships with animals may be similar in some ways to relationships with human beings, the animal-human relationship can offer things that may be lacking in human-human relationships.• “Abiding presence” (Carmack,
2003)• Unconditional acceptance• Expression of different parts of
the self
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Understanding Pet Loss:Disenfranchised Grief
“There is no grief like the grief that does not speak.” – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
“I measure every grief I meet with narrow, probing eyes – I wonder if it weight like mine or has an easier size.” – Emily Dickinson
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Understanding Pet Loss:Disenfranchised Grief
Disenfranchised grief occurs when bereaved individuals are not permitted the “right to grieve” (Doka, 2002, p. 5). Grief may become disenfranchised when:
• The relationship is not recognized or regarded as valid.• The importance of the relationship is not appreciated. • The loss isn’t the result of a human death.• The bereaved individual does not grieve as others
expect him/her to grieve.• The type or cause of death results in decreased
support.
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Understanding Pet Loss:Disenfranchised Grief
Disenfranchised grief may fundamentally be understood as a form of empathic failure (Neimeyer & Jordan, 2002). Empathic failures may arise at multiple interfaces:
• Between the bereaved individual and others.• Between the bereaved individual and spiritual forces.• Within the bereaved individual.
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How Can Counselors Help?
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Recognize and affirm the relationships clients share with their companion animals.
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Normalize clients’ experiences by providing psychoeducation about human-animal bonds, grief processes, and grief reactions after the loss of a pet.
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Support clients in developing positive coping skills for managing grief symptoms.
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Provide clients with a space in which they may share memories of their pet.
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Support clients in exploring, making meaning of, and finding peace in “special topics” related to pet loss.
• Euthanasia• Getting a new pet• Spiritual issues
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Support clients in learning how to reinvest in life while maintaining a connection and developing a new relationship with the departed pet.
• Creative memorials• Outreach• Reevaluation of values/priorities and engagement in
the world that is consonant with lessons learned from the companion animal
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Support clients in developing and implementing grief/bereavement rituals.
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How Can Counselors Help?
• Introduce clients to pet loss resources to utilize outside of individual therapy sessions (e.g., books, websites, support groups).
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Pet Loss ResourcesBooks• Allen, M.A. (2007). Coping with sorrow on the loss of your pet (3rd ed.).
Dog Ear Publishing.• Anderson, A. & Anderson, L. (2008). Saying goodbye to your angel
animals: Finding comfort after losing your pet. Novato, CA: New World Library.
• Carmack, B.J. (2003). Grieving the death of a pet. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress.
• Greene, L.A. & Landis, J. (2002). Saying goodbye to the pet you love: A complete resource to help you heal. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
• Harris, E. (1997). Pet loss: A spiritual guide. St. Paul, MN: Llewellyn Publications.
• Harris, J. (2002). Pet loss: A spiritual guide. New York, NY: Lantern Books.• Kaufman, J. (1999). Crossing the Rubicon: Celebrating the human-animal
bond in life and death. Cottage Grove, WI: Xenophon Publications.
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Pet Loss ResourcesBooks (continued)• Kowalski, G. (1997). Goodbye, friend: Healing wisdom for anyone who has
ever lost a pet. Novato, CA: New World Library.• Kowalski, G. (1999). The souls of animals. Novato, CA: New World Library.• McClinton, J.L. (2004). Paw prints in heaven? Christians and pet loss.
Lincoln, NE: iUniverse, Inc.• Reynolds, R.M. (2010). Blessing the bridge: What animals teach us about
death, dying, and beyond. Troutdale, OR: NewSage Press.• Sife, W. (2005). The loss of a pet. Hoboken, NJ: Howell Book House.• Walker, K. (1999). The heart that is loved never forgets: Recovering from
loss: When humans and animals lose their companions. Rochester, VT: Healing Arts Press.
• Wolfelt, A.D. (2004). When your pet dies: A guide to mourning, remembering and healing. Fort Collins, CO: Companion Press.
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Pet Loss ResourcesWebsites• Association for Pet Loss and Bereavement
http://www.aplb.org• Chance’s Spot
http://www.chancesspot.org• Delta Society
http://www.deltasociety.org/Page.aspx?pid=307• Lightning Strike Pet Loss Support
http://www.lightning-strike.com• Pet Loss Grief Support Website
http://www.petloss.com• Pet Loss Support Page
http//www.pet-loss.net• The Original Rainbow Bridge On-Line Pet Memorial
http://rainbowbridge.org