Peace of Mind Matters

2 Mediamix Supplement ● Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Peace of Mind Matters

Helping hand ata stressful timeOUR family

members mean somuch to us that it

can be upsetting havingto think about findingthem care if they can’tlook after themselves, orworse, making funeralarrangements if someoneclose to you has died.

There are so manyquestions, so in thissupplement we hope tohelp you through thedifferent processes withuseful information andthe options available.

Whether your relative issimply looking forsomewhere a little moresecure to live, such assheltered accommodation,or they need full-time careat a nursing home, thereare plenty of optionsavailable.

Your relative may alsobe thinking about gettingall their estate andbelongings in order bymaking a will. This wouldsolve any issues later on,and relieve a little bit ofstress on the family whenthey’re grieving.

These days you can oftenmake a lot of your funeralarrangements before youdie – for example, howmany cars you want orwhere you want to beburied or cremated – andit can all be paid inadvance, too.

Have you consideredorgan donation? It’s notalways pleasant to thinkabout, but if you’re happyfor your organs to go tosomeone who needs them,then let someone in yourfamily know this – orbetter still, you canregister with the NHS.Log on to the websitewww.organdonation.nhs.uk for more details.

If someone close to youhas died, it can sometimesbe hard to talk to thepeople around you,especially if you’re tryingto be strong for them. Sohave a think aboutcounselling if you feel youneed to let all yourthoughts and emotionsout – it might relieve someof the strain.

Also keep an eye onothers around you who

have lost someone. Theymay be suffering theeffects of bereavement andcould need your support.

If your loved one orrelative has passed away,then there’s a lot to thinkabout. Check if they’ve leftany requests – did theywant to be buried orcremated?

The funeral director youchoose can often make alot of the arrangementsfor you, from deciding ona coffin to any flowers youmay want and where theservice will be held. Thefuneral director will gothrough everything withyou, along with the costs.

Remember if youarrange a funeral youneed to be able to pay forit. You may be able to getsome help with cost if youget housing benefit,Council Tax benefit, JobSeeker’s Allowance andWorking Family’s TaxCredit.

It can be a stressful andupsetting time, butremember there’s plentyof help and adviceavailable. ● There's plenty of help and advice available to support you through this hard time

Care at Home...

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There are many reasons why people require extra help at various timesof their life

Sometimes you may require some extra physical assistance, respite orliving care or simply some support with your everyday life.

We can also accompany you onvisits to the Doctors, opticians ormedical appointments.We try to sensitively matchsuitable carers with clients ,andarrange a introductory meetingwherever possible before longterm arrangements are put inplace.Community Care Direct providetailor made services that deliverthe highest quality of health andsocial care, and are happy todiscuss any care needs for your-self or a loved one.

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3Mediamix Supplement ● Wednesday, February 3, 2010


Experts can take care of the detailsTHE practicalities of

arranging a funeral for afriend, loved one or

family member can includeeverything from organising afuneral service and choosingflowers, to arranging a fittingmemorial or gravestone.

If you have been tasked withthe job of arranging a funeralthen the first thing to dowould be to check with thedeceased’s executors to see ifthey had left any instructions,in a will for example, for theirfuneral arrangements. Youneed to know in case theyhave pre-paid for their funeraland left specific details aboutthe ceremony.

In the case that no specificarrangements have beenmade, your first port of callshould be to contact a funeraldirector.

It is certainly helpful todiscuss all arrangements withexperienced funeral directors,as they will have so muchuseful knowledge on how thefuneral can be organised aseasily as possible. You mayfind it useful to ask friends orfamily to recommend a localfuneral director they haveused in the past. Alternatively,you could contact the NationalAssociation of FuneralDirectors to find a reputablelocal firm.

A funeral director will beable to assist with things such

as organising the time andplace for the funeral;explaining the differentoptions with regards to typesof service and the prices ofthese, purchasing a suitablecoffin and where to rest thebody before the funeral.

Of course, you do not have touse a funeral director. If youwant to handle everythingyourself then that is possibleand may not cost as much,though it will take moreorganisation.

You will be responsible forlooking after the body andpreparing it for the funeral.You will also have to book theservice through a church,cemetery or crematorium.Then transport, music andflowers need to be arranged,plus a grave plot may need tobe reserved.

There can be a lot of stressand sadness involved inhandling all of thesearrangements oneself, so ifyou are choosing to arrangethe funeral without the help ofa funeral director, try to makesure you have the assistanceand support of friends andfamily.

Along with deciding uponthe type of funeral service andwhether the deceased shouldbe buried or cremated, youmay wish to mark the person’sfinal resting place with amemorial of some kind, suchas a gravestone or even a

simple plaque.Funeral costs can be paid in

a variety of different ways, somake sure you know wherethe money should be comingfrom. Often the deceased willhave left money to pay for

their funeral, or this maycome from a life insurancepolicy or pension scheme.Alternatively, they may havebeen paying into a specificfuneral plan.

If there has not been any

money set aside for funeralcosts and you need financialassistance to pay for a funeral,you may be able to receive afuneral payment throughsomething called the SocialFund. You can find out more

about this through theDirect.gov website.

All-in-all, with goodorganisation and the supportof loved ones you’re sure to beable to arrange a successfuland memorable funeral.

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Learning to copewith personal lossEVERYONE copes

with bereavementdifferently and,

whether it's a partner,parent or sibling, there'slittle that can prepare usfor the pain that it canbring.

Unfortunately, it's anexperience that affectsmost of us at some pointin our lives and the wordbereaved is the termtypically used to describelosing someone we lovethrough death.

It may take months oryears to come to termswith what's happened,and every part of us isaffected, with the mostintense, and very oftenoverwhelming feelings,including loss, pain andgrief.

However, it's importantto remember that there isno wrong or right way togrieve or deal withbereavement.

Just like othersituations in life,everyone reactsdifferently and, as aresult, they will seek

different ways to cope.Feelings of sadness,

anger, loneliness, shock,disbelief, numbness,anxiety and helplessnessare all natural emotionsand crying, becomingwithdrawn, insomnia,absent-mindedness oreven hallucinations canbe common.

The way we grieve caneven be affected by ourgender.

In general, women tendto be more open abouttheir feelings and have alarger network of friendswho can help them dealwith their loss.

Men may want to appear'strong' and not revealhow they really feel.

Each reaction is acoping mechanism in itsown right and should berespected and supported.

Other factorssurrounding the loss mayalso affect the grievingprocess.

Perhaps you're loved onedied suddenly and youdidn't get the chance tosay goodbye? Or maybeyou weren't present at the

death and don't feel readyto let go?

Whatever it is, certaincircumstances can makeit more difficult to cometo terms with a death andit's understandable thatyou might find it harderto grieve fully.

If this is the case, makesure that you, or theperson affected, issurrounded by a strongsupport network of closefriends and family and, ifnecessary, seekprofessional help from afamily doctor or one ofthe bereavementcharities.

So, how can we helpourselves or a loved onegoing through the traumaof bereavement?

The first step is tounderstand andappreciate that you've justsuffered a huge loss andaccept that it's natural tofeel lost or that life mayfeel meaningless to beginwith.

Grief is something thatcan take a long time to getover but there are somesteps you can take to ease

yourself through thedarkest times.

Taking care of yourselfis one of the biggest stepsand, as well as dealingwith your feelings,remember to eat andexercise properly.

Take things slowly anddon't make any bigdecisions, like movinghouse or giving away yourloved one's possessionsaway too soon.

Be extra kind to yourselfand, while painful, it canbe healing to rememberhappy memories and,perhaps, look throughphotographs.

Of course, learning toadapt to your new life isone of the biggestchallenges and, just like aphysical injury,recovering from abereavement will takesome time.

● If you, or someoneclose to you, has lost aloved one contact CruseBereavement Care,www.crusebereavementcare.org.ukor call 0844 477 9400.

● Bereavement can take years to overcome and it's natural to feel overwhelmedby your loss

Physical symptoms of bereavementAS well as the emotionaleffects of grief, bereavementcan also take its toll on yourhealth.

With both your mind andbody being under an extremeamount of stress, it's naturalto experience a range ofphysical symptoms. These caninclude:

IMMUNITYBereavement often causes afall of activity in the cells thatfight infection so colds andother infections are common.

Other conditions, such asarthritis and chronic healthproblems, can also worsen soit’s important to care foryourself or friends and familymembers that may bebereaved.

MENTAL ANDPHYSICAL PROBLEMSIt’s not unusual for thosesuffering a bereavement tobecome ill themselves and, asthe mind and body are closelylinked, psychological problemscan also cause physicalproblems.

Whether you're sufferingfrom depression which hasresulted in a loss of appetiteand sleep, or your anxiety iscausing hot flushes, a racingpulse and insomnia, it'sessential to seek help.

NERVOUS SYSTEMOther common side effects ofgrief include tiredness togeth-er with a heightened state ofawareness.

The body responds to stress

and grief by producing highlevels of natural steroidswhich can result in the 'fight'or 'flight' feelings, as well asan increase of pulse and

blood pressure.These feelings are perfectly

natural and it's crucial toremember that it's all part ofthe grieving process.

● Coping with bereavement can lead to physical symptomsincluding colds and flu as the immune system andresistance is lowered

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Helping children cometo terms with death

● It's essential that children come to terms with the loss of a lovedone


CHILDREN can find it verydifficult to cope with the lossof a loved one and, no matter

what their age, it's never easy tobreak the news of a death.

However, it is essential that childrencome to terms with their loss and it’sup to the adults around them to makesure that they understand the fullimplications of what has happened.

As their parent or guardian, start bybreaking the news gently whilecomforting and reassuring them. Tryto answer questions as honestly aspossible and don’t be afraid of showingyour feelings.

Use factual words, rather thanphrases which may confuse them and,most importantly , don’t try avoidingthe subject. If you do, this can leavethem feeling more confused and scaredthan the reality itself.

Like adults, children also need tounderstand saying goodbye to a lovedone, so try and find a way that willhelp them understand its finality.

Perhaps they would like to write aletter to say farewell? Or maybe place atoy in the coffin?

Funerals can be as important tochildren's understanding as it can toadults, but make sure that they areprepared for what will happen so thatthey can choose if they want to go. Andif they decide not to, ensure that theyare with a close family friend or adult

who they are comfortable with.Children can also experience

physical symptoms when someonedies, from tummy pains, headachesand insomnia to bed-wetting.

Sulky or unruly behaviour can beanother expression of grief, together

with the normal trials and tribulationsof growing up.

Fortunately, most children will workthrough bereavement at their own pace– much like adults. All they need issome solid support and the chance todiscuss feelings or share memories.

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Make a will and look after loved onesFOR a lot of people the

thought of making a willcan seem a little

morbid, with many peopleoften putting it off until later inlife.

You might feel you’re too youngto write a will, but the reality isthat death will affect us all andwithout a will you can’t makesure that your family and friendswill receive exactly what youwould like them to, as the lawdecides how your possessionswill be divided up.

If you die without a will – evenif you are married or in a civilpartnership – your partner maynot inherit all of your belongingsand estate and, consequently,may not be provided for in theway that you would like.

Likewise, if you are notmarried or in a civil partnershipand die without making a will,your partner does notautomatically receive a share ofyour estate.

Writing a will can seemdaunting but, with an up-to-dateand legally valid will, you canhave the peace of mind that,should the worst happen, yourloved ones will be provided for.

There are many different waysto write a will. You can writeyour own will with the help ofDIY books, software and will-writing kits, which are availableto buy in most stationery shops.This can be one of the simplestways to write a will for thosewith relatively straightforward

estates but, to ensure your will islegally valid, it’s always a goodidea to have an expert, such as asolicitor or professional willwriter, check it over.

They can also guide youthrough the process of writing awill.

As there are many legalformalities to take into account,a solicitor can also make surethat your will is legally valid andmay also be able to provideadvice on issues such asinheritance tax.

Before you start to write a will,it’s recommended that youconsider issues such as who willbenefit from your will, who willtake care of your children (if theyare under 18), how much moneyand what property andpossessions you have, and whoyou would like to be the executor

of your will. It is wise to appointmore than one executor, in caseone of them dies. You can appointup to four executors should youwant to.

The executor of your will is theperson who will be responsiblefor sorting out your will andcarrying out your wishes afteryour death, so it’s best to appointsomeone who you feel will beable to handle the responsibilityand who will be able to ensure allof your wishes are carried out.

As circumstances changethroughout our lives, it’s alsorecommended that you updateyour will at least once every fiveyears and always after a majorlife change, such as gettingmarried or divorced, having oradopting children or movinghouse.

The cost of writing a will varies

from solicitor to solicitor andalso depends upon howcomplicated your estate andwishes are.

When choosing a solicitor orprofessional will writer, it’salways a good idea to ask friendsand family if they canrecommend someone.

You can also find out whichsolicitors specialise in wills inyour area by contacting the LawSociety. To help make the wholeprocess more time and costeffective, it helps to give somethought to what you want yourwill to include before you appointa solicitor.

As well as specialist solicitorsand will writers, there are also anumber of other organisationsthat can provide help and advicewhen writing a will, such ascharities and the Citizens AdviceBureau.

Once you have written yourwill, it’s advisable to keep thisimportant document in a safeplace, such as at home, with closefriends and relatives, or withyour bank or solicitor.

You can even apply for yourwill to be kept in the PrincipalRegistry of the Family Divisionof the High Court, a DistrictRegistry or Probate Sub-Registry.

So, whatever your personalcircumstances, start the processof making your will today, toensure that whatever happens,your loved ones are provided foraccording to your wishes.

● It is always advisable to consult a solicitor or willwriter when making a will

● Making awill ensuresyour partneris takencare of,whateverhappens

people through difficult timesWe have a warm and friendly approach and willstrive to give the highes possible service

We only use the highest quality products from localsuppliers wherever possible

We only use veneered coffins, not wood effect coffinslike other companies

As we don’t have large head offices to run, we cankeep our costs reasonable without compromisingthe service we provide

All our products come from timber that issustainable

As well as traditional funerals we can satisfyvirtualy any request a family can ask

We are an approved supplier for colourful coffinsthe premier picture coffin specialist in the UK

We can supply, cardboard, wilow, seagrass or waterhyachinth coffins, balloons, doves, horse drawn ormotor cycle hearses, even a volkswagen camper vanor a landrover hearse if necessary, whatever thefamily wants to make a lasting memory we willendeavour to supply.

Established since 1949, Barrington’s Independent Funeral

Services pride themselves on helping you through this

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Mr David Barrington

28 Crosby Road North,Wateerloo, Liverpool L22 4QF

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If you die without making a Will, or if you’re Will is poorlyprepared, you could be leaving your loved ones with hugelegal and financial headaches.

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How to plan yourperfect farewellSOME people might

think it a little morbidto think about and

plan what should happen inthe event of one’s owndeath.

However, it is certainly notunusual for people to thinkabout death, particularlytheir own death, in a verypractical and pragmaticmanner. Often people decideeven to plan their ownfuneral.

It can be a blessing for yourloved ones to have the burdenof organising a funeral takenfrom them. It is certainlydifficult to makearrangements and all thepreparations for a funeralservice and burial at a timewhen you are grieving theloss of a loved one. That iswhy planning your ownfuneral in advance can bebeneficial.

Making sure that everythingis taken care of in the event ofone’s death can help put themind at ease. If a person findsthat they are close to death, itcan bring important peace ofmind to know there will be nofurther stresses and worries

for their family to have tocontend with regarding theirfuneral.

Making plans for yourfuneral doesn’t have toinvolve its complete advanceorganisation. It can be assimple a matter as puttingyour preferences in writing,so that your family know forcertain what type ofceremony you would prefer.

Perhaps you can state yourpreferred location andinclude things such as themusic or hymns you wouldlike played at the service.

Such information can be putdown formally and given toyour next of kin or executors.

Other information they mayfind useful would include apreference on flowers, andwhether you should be buriedor cremated.

You can even arrange tohave all the costs of yourfuneral taken care of beforeyour death. Many businessesoffer pre-paid funeralplanning which allows you topay for your funeral andspecify the arrangements forit.

This way you can feelcompletely secure in the

knowledge that your funeralwill be as you want it and alsothat your family will not havethe funeral arrangements tocontend with after your death.

The best advice whenorganising a pre-paid funeralwould be to get a few quotesfrom different companies,then compare prices andoptions available beforemaking your decision.

You may find it useful to askthe advice of your family too.

It is also wise to check thatthe company is a member ofthe Funeral PlanningAuthority (FPA), whichregulates the funeral planindustry and has a code ofpractice that members have tocomply with. You can getmore information from theirwebsite: www.funeralplanningauthority.com/

Also of real use to thoseplanning their own funeral isa brochure the BBC hasproduced explaining many ofthe steps to consider.

It is available to view onlineat: www.bbc.co.uk/health/tv_and_radio/how_to_have_a_good_death/planning_a_good_death.pdf/

● Arranging your own funeral can give you peace of mind and make things easier for your lovedones

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Funerals tailored to the individualWHETHER you’re

thinking aboutplanning your

funeral now or you’vejust lost a loved one,there are a variety offuneral types you can optfor.

The traditional funeralis conducted by a funeraldirector and is usually themost expensive. Thefuneral arrangement caninclude embalming andpreparing the body forviewing; a viewing of thedeceased, the day beforeand/or the day of thefuneral; the hearse totransport the deceased tothe cemetery; and/or theburial or cremation. Inaddition, you will havethe expense of a casketand the cemetery plot orcrypt.

Another type of funeralarrangement is where thedeceased is buried in asimple casket with noviewing or embalming.The funeral home willtransport the deceased tothe funeral home forplacement in the casketand then to the cemetery.

The deceased can alsobe cremated and, again,the funeral home willprovide transport to acrematorium. The ashesare placed in an urn,

which can then be buried,kept at home or scattered.

These last two types offunerals will cost lessthan the traditionalfuneral because fewerservices by the funeralhome are performed.

There are alternatives tothe religious funeralservice or traditionalburials and cremations.

Some people, for whomreligion was not asignificant part of theirlives, ask to have ahumanist funeral. Theyor their family might feelthat a religious servicewould seem insincere orinappropriate to thememory of the deceased.

In such cases, ahumanist funeralceremony is a worthyoption. Such ceremoniesare tailored to celebrate aperson’s life andrecognise their loss, allwithout religiousfunerary rites cominginto play.

Of course, the likes ofmusic and readingsspecial to the deceasedcan be incorporated alongwith times for reflectionon their passing.

Log on towww.humanism.org.uk for more details.

With so many of us

becoming ever moreecologically-minded inour lives, it makes sensethat many would want tocontinue to take the“green” approach aftertheir deaths.

For this reason, greenfunerals and burials arebecoming increasinglypopular.

There are a number ofsites around the countrythat promote eco-friendlyfunerals. These involvegreen ceremonies atspecial woodland burialgrounds, wild flowermeadows or pastures.

Cardboard or woodencoffins are used, alongwith woollen shrouds.

Funeral directors are,more and more,incorporating greenburials into their workand should be able to offerassistance with thepurchase of the coffin andthe transport of the bodyto a suitable site.

Graves can be leftunmarked or marked byplanting a tree or leavinga small wooden plaquethat will naturally bio-degrade.

For many, this is seen asa perfect, natural end totheir time on earth.

Visit www.naturaldeath.org.uk for moreinformation. ● There are a range of options available when organising a funeral

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Why talking canease the painIF you're struggling to

come to terms with theloss of a loved one,

counselling may be able tohelp.

A type of talking therapy,counselling comes in manyforms and is able to helpease negative thoughts andfeelings of anxiety, as wellas, depression and stressafter a bereavement.

It can take place as part ofa group session or, morecommonly, on a one-to-onebasis and is a helpful wayof coming to terms withyour grief.

Giving you a chance totalk openly and freelyabout your feelings andfears, counsellors canprovide a confidential andnon-judgemental placewhere you can explore yourloss.

Most importantly,counselling gives you theopportunity to be heard,time to talk and cry or eventhink without theinterruptions of everydaylife.

And, whether you needhelp to work through your

bereavement or learncoping mechanisms to helpwhen you're on your own,counselling can help youcome to terms with loss atyour own pace.

Of course, there is no setpathway for grief butcounselling may be of helpif you feel that youremotions are becoming sooverwhelming that they arebeginning to affect youreveryday relationships andjob

Many of us are guilty ofkeeping our feelings ofsadness and anger lockedaway and, even though itmight seem like a dauntingprospect, talking about howwe feel is an essential partof moving forward.

It can also help to find thebest way to accept thechanges that your loss willbring and ensure you find asuitable way to allow life tocontinue while keeping thememory of your loved onealive.

Many counsellors arespecially trained inbereavement and are ableto provide a sympatheticear, as well as offering that

extra helping hand thatmany people need afterexperiencing the loss of aloved one.

If you feel thatcounselling may bebeneficial for you, there aremany places that can help.Charities such as CruseBereavement Care, 0844 4779400, or the Samaritans,08457 909090, which offersemotional support 24-hours-a-day, provide a placeto turn for advice or simplysomeone to talk to.

Your local GP may also beable to put you in touchwith a counsellor and TheBritish Association forCounselling andPsychotherapy (BACP) hasa list of registeredcounsellors across the UKand will locate anexperienced therapist inyour area.

Seeking help is a sign ofstrength, so if you'restruggling with grief andfeel that counselling mayhelp you or a loved one findout more today. Rememberthat your loved one wouldnot want you to besuffering. ● Counselling can help you work through your bereavement or learn coping mechanisms



Find the right sort of care for youAS we get older our re-

quirements change –including our accom-

modation needs.You may reach retirement

and no longer work, so needextra company or start to feelthe strain of keeping a largefamily home in good condition.Your home needs to suit yourlifestyle, and there’s no pointin staying somewhere you’renot comfortable with.

There are a number ofoptions available. You coulddownsize and buy a smallerhome, though if you’re lookingfor a little bit more securitythen retirement (sometimesknown as sheltered) housingcould be for you.

Retirement or shelteredhousing is designedspecifically for older people,often with minimum agerequirements. It is usuallybuilt in developments of about20 to 40 self-contained flats orbungalows. There is almostalways an alarm system linkedto a 24-hour communicationcentre‚ which can summonhelp for you in an emergency‚and usually a scheme manager(warden)‚ who may live on-site.

If you decide to look intosheltered housing, think aboutthe location of the develop-ment, the duties of themanager/warden, the size anddesign of the individual flats,and the support available.

You should also note whatcosts are involved, includingservice charges, and any rulessuch as keeping pets.

If you or someone you knowneeds a little more care oreven professional nursingcare, then there are a varietyof options available here, too.

Care homes provideaccommodation‚ personal careand sometimes nursing care.They are staffed 24 hours a dayand all meals are provided.

Care homes are intended for

older people whose care andsupport needs mean they canno longer live independently.

The costs are usually highcompared to other housingoptions, and the main sourceof help with fees is localauthority social services.

Before moving to a carehome, get social services toassess whether this type ofcare is needed.

Choosing a care home is animportant decision; it will‚after all‚ be your new home.

The local authority‚ thenational regulatory body andcharities such as the ElderlyAccommodation Counselshould all have lists of homesin your preferred area.

Any list is only a start,though. Always visit a homebefore deciding to move there,and take a list of points tocheck and questions to ask.

As well as asking specificquestions about the care andfacilities‚ consider whetheryou like the atmosphere: do

the residents seem happy? Askto see copies of the home’sinspection reports. If you likea home‚ see if it is possible togo there for a trial periodbefore making a long-termcommitment.

It is vital to choose the righttype of home. If a home cannotoffer the level of support youneed it will not be suitable; orin a home that usually looksafter people with more intenseneeds than yours you may feelout of place.

If the local authority hasassessed you as requiring carein a care home‚ they have aduty to ensure that suitablecare is available to you‚ even ifyou will be paying the full costyourself.

If the local authority isfunding your care‚ you havethe right to choose whichhome you go into‚ but arelative or friend might haveto top up your fees if yourchosen home costs more thanyour authority usually pays.Take advice before committingto make a top-up payment.

There are also homes thatprovide care for older peoplewho require extra care andsupport‚ often due to dementia.These are sometimes knownas EMI (elderly mentallyinfirm) homes.

Once you find a home, checkthat the fees and contractterms are acceptable to youand‚ if you are being assistedwith the cost‚ the localauthority.● For more help andinformation contact AgeConcern on (free call) 0800009966, log on to the websitewww.ageconcern.org.uk orcontact ElderlyAccommodation Counsel,which has a database ofhousing for older people andoffers guidance to helpenquirers choose suitableaccommodation. Call 0207820 1343.

● Retirementor shelteredhousing givesyou securitywhile stillbeingindependent

From domestic support to personal and 24 hourcare, this leading company has a range ofprofessional care services available to ensureyou get the expert care you need.

Established since 2003, the Eastbank Streetbased company has a wealth of experienceproviding care services in Southport and thesurrounding area.

MCL’s services can be tailor-made to suit yourpersonal requirements and the company’sexperienced carers can visit as often or as littleas you like. From daily visits to help with personalcare like washing and dressing; to morning andevening visits to provide meal time support andhelp taking medication, or even 24-hour care withthe company’s homecare service.

MCL Community Care is proactive in itsapproach to providing care locally. After consulta-tion with local groups, an extended range ofinnovative services were developed. Theseinclude the very popular Safe and Sound, provid-ing home visits throughout the night checking allis well, reducing the need to move into residentialor nursing homes.

The company also has a full range of supportservices, from Out and About, a range of dailyactivities and trips; to maintenance and domesticsupport. One particular service that has beenwelcomed is MCL Holidays, which allows peopleto enjoy breaks both in the UK and abroad withthe support of trained companions.

The team pride themselves on their sensitivity,and offer a range of specialist care services,including helping those with dementia oralzheimer’s disease to get the expert care andsupport they need; palliative care to help make aloved one’s final days more comfortable, andsupport for those recovering from a stroke.

Continuously trained, all of MCL’s experiencedcarers are registered with the Care QualityCommission, fully vetted and regularly appraisedand supervised by management. They are alsomembers of REC and hold ISO 9001, maintain-ing quality management systems.

MCL Community Care produces a regularnewsletter ‘Our Community’, listing what’s onwithin the local area and developments within thecompany. Please contact MCL to be added to themailing list.

For more information call 01704 512 906or visit MCL Community Care, 81 Eastbank Street, Southport.

WHATEVER level of careyou or a loved one requires,

MCL Community Care can help.



THERE are more than sixmillion carers in the UKand, according to stat-

istics, more than three in fivepeople in the UK will becomea carer at some point in theirlives.

If you are a carer yourself,then don’t worry – you are notalone. There is a wholenetwork of help, support andadvice available.

A carer is someone who,without payment, provideshelp and support to a partner,child, relative, friend orneighbour, who could notmanage without their help.This could be due to age,physical or mental illness,addiction or disability.

Many people are carers, buteveryone’s situation isdifferent. You may be caringfor an elderly, unwell ordisabled partner, relative orfriend full-time, which canmean 24 hours a day, sevendays a week.

Or you may simply behelping someone out on aregular basis, by doing theirshopping or cooking, forexample.

For some people the caringrole has evolved gradually,almost without their noticing.For others, a sudden crisismay have resulted in theirbecoming a carer. Others stillmay have chosen to becomecarers only after considerablethought and discussion.

There are carers of all agestoo – young carers, takingresponsibility for a parent orsibling, middle-aged carers,often women, looking afterparents or in-laws, and thereare older carers, caring for aspouse, partner or disabledadult child. Often carers jugglethe demands of a family and ajob with their caring role.

Whoever you are andwhatever type of caring youdo, it is important not to forgetyour own needs. Caring can bea very rewarding business but

it can also be extremelytaxing, calling on all yourreserves of emotional andphysical energy. It is easy,when you are busy coping dayto day and responding toothers, to forget your ownhealth and mental well-being.

Don’t feel under pressure todo everything – not all thesuggestions will be right foryour particular way of living,or even your personality.Choose the things you feelcomfortable with, butremember that the fitter andhealthier you are, the betteryou will be able to cope, bothphysically and emotionally,with the demands of caring.● For information andsupport on being a carercontact the Carers NationalAssociation (CNA) on 0345 573369, and for advice on whatbenefits you may be entitled toas a carer, contact your localbenefits agency or visitwww.direct.gov.uk.

If you care, don’tforget to thinkabout yourself, too

● Being a carer is hard work but rewarding at the same time

NazarethHouse

Great Crosby Liverpool L23 0QT

Tel:0151 928 3254

Fax: 0151 928 7723

http://sistersofnazareth.com

Nazareth House, is a registered Residential Care Home providingcare for the elderly since 1897 and is managed by the Sisters ofNazareth organisation.

The home consists of 64 rooms, many of which are en-suite witha 2 star rating with CQC and a 5 star rating with RDB. Extensiveand attractive gardens ensure a sense of privacy and peace.

Members of all denominations are welcome

Registered Charity Number228906 (England)

We also consider requests for short-term respite care, dependent on room availability.



Don’t struggle alone with legal issuesWHEN a family member dies,

the last thing anyonewants to think about are

any legal or financial issues thatmay arise.

Unfortunately this is alwayssomething that does have to becarefully considered, but it needn’tbe the cause of too much worry.

Many people are nervous aboutcontacting solicitors, fearingmounting costs and legal fees.However, such fears are often notjustified.

The various legalities surroundingthe affairs of the deceased mayappear very confusing, but a solicitorwill have the skills and experience todeal with any legal issues arising.

One thing that must be done is toregister the death. This has to bedone within five days, and you musttake along a medical certificate of thecause of death, signed by a doctor.

Probate is the process of officiallyproving the validity of a will and thewinding up of a person’s affairs aftertheir death.

Whether a will exists or not,somebody has to be made legallyresponsible for dealing with theperson’s estate. An executor is theperson who is named, usually in awill, to manage the estate.

A solicitor will be able to advise onthe role of an executor and any issueswhich arrive from probate. A localsolicitor can help you resolve issuesquickly and face-to-face. Many offerfree initial consultations and adviseupon likely costs going forward.

It may also be wise to consult a

financial advisor who can help youwith issues arising from taxation onany inheritance you may receive.

There are a range of organisationsthat can offer useful help, advice andsupport to those dealing with thefinancial and legal implications of arecent death. Similarly, there areagencies and organisations whospecialise in helping those who arelooking at community and privatecare solutions, either for themselvesor a family member.

For general queries and advice on arange of subjects, from making a willand registering a death to gettinghelp to pay for care home costs, theUK government website found atwww.direct.gov.uk is invaluable. Yourlocal council should also be able toassist you and point you in the rightdirection for advice and explanationof any legal concerns you might have.

The Citizen’s Advice Bureau isanother excellent resource. Theorganisation has an online adviceguide which can prove useful – seewww.adviceguide.org.uk.

For specific advice on issues forolder people, especially on issuessurrounding care and support for theelderly, there’s a great service calledFirstStop.

It provides advice and informationfor older people directly or bymaking available the rightinformation for carers and familiesat the right time, at the click of abutton or over the phone.

Have a look at the websitewww.firststopcareadvice.org.uk orgive them a call on 0800 377 7070. ● The right professional help can alleviate any worries you may have

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WillsPowers of Attorney

Inheritance Tax IssuesProbate and Estate Administration

Estate DisputesNursing Home IsuesCourt of Protection

Trust Creation & Management

Please contact us for a confidential discussion on yourindividual circumstances

www.hodgehalsall.co.uk

18 Hoghton Street,SouthportPR9 0PA

01704 531991

565 Liverpool Road,Ainsdale, Southport,

PR8 3LU

01704 577171

Hodge Halsall has a specialist and dedicated teamproviding a comprehensive range of services including:


The greatest gift of allFROM including a charity inyour will to doing somethingworthwhile during your life-time, there are many thingsyou can do to ensure yourlegacy lives on after you’vegone, but perhaps one of thebest things any of us can doin death is to help savesomeone else’s life.

Transplants are one of themost miraculous achieve-ments of modern medicineand, should we need one, it’snot something many of uswould turn down. Yetshockingly just 27% of thepopulation is on the organdonor register.

According to NHS statistics,many of us (45%) intend tobecome a donor so that ourorgans can be transplantedafter our death, but justnever get around to joiningthe organ donor register.

Many people also believethat they are too old tobecome an organ donor, butthat’s simply not the case, asthe main criteria fordonation is physicalcondition, not age.

Other reasons why peoplehaven’t got around to joiningthe organ donor registerinclude not wanting to temptfate; not knowing how to signup or being worried aboutchanging their minds in thefuture.

By becoming an organdonor, you could givesomeone the best gift of all –life. Each year, some 2,700people are given a new leaseof life by a transplant, whichis the best possible treatment

for many people with life-threatening conditions.

Some of the most commonlyperformed transplants arekidney, heart, liver and lungtransplants. As medicineadvances, other organs likethe small bowel and pancreasare also being used intransplants.

However, it’s not just yourorgans that could helpsomeone after you’ve gone, astissue like corneas, heartvalves, skin, bone, tendonsand cartilage can also bedonated.

So, as well as helping tosave someone’s life bydonating an organ, you couldalso help someone regaintheir sight through a corneatransplant, help someonewith severe burns with a skingraft or help a child bornwith a heart defect by

donating heart valves.In the UK, more than 10,000

people currently need atransplant. Of these, over1,000 people die each yearbefore they receive the organthey so desperately need.

So, if you’ve alwaysintended to become an organdonor but never quite gotaround to it, make today theday you join the organregister.

If you would like to becomean organ donor, as well asjoining the organ donorregister, it’s important todiscuss your wishes withyour family.● To find out more aboutjoining the organ donorregister, call the NHS DonorLine on 0300 123 2323 or visitthe websitewww.organdonation.nhs.uk.

● Becoming anorgan donorcould helpsomeone live afull and active life


Choosing a fitting memorialWHEN their loved ones

pass away, manyfamilies find comfort

in having a symbol ofremembrance on which to fo-cus their grief.

This often takes the form of amemorial or headstone placedat the cemetery which acts as acelebration of a person’s life.

A well chosen headstoneshould simply capture theessence of the life beingcommemorated.

It is a permanent tribute soit’s important to take yourtime to choose the right designfor your loved one, as hastydecisions can cause laterregrets.

The first consideration,should be to acquire a plot andfind out if your chosencemetery or crematorium hasany rules and regulations withregards to the size and designof headstones.

Contact your localstonemasons, who should beable to advise you on thesematters. It’s a good idea tovisit a few stonemasons beforecommissioning one to do thework.

Ask friends and family ifthey can recommend areputable stonemason whospecialises in monumentalmasonry.

Before appointing one,always get a written quote

including all costs and check ifthey are a member of a tradeassociation.

Many masons are accreditedby the National Association ofMemorial Masons (NAMM)and are bound by the strictCodes of Business andWorking Practice to ensureyour monument is fixed safely.They also have the necessaryinsurances and guarantees foradded peace of mind.

Your chosen mason canadvise you on different types ofmaterials available and helpyou pick a design andinscription.

They should be able to tellyou which materials aresuitable for the type ofmemorial you require – andfor the area in which it is to befixed – bearing in mind theweather, pollution andsurrounding vegetation.

When choosing stone, graniteis always a popular choice andcomes in a variety of colours -it is also very durable andrequires little maintenance.Marble, bronze, slate,sandstone, York stone,limestone, Portland andhornstone are other materialswhich can be used.

You will also need to thinkabout the size and shape of theheadstone, lettering style andan appropriate inscription,which usually includes theperson's name, date of birth,date of death and an epitaph.

You may wish to add a vasefor placing fresh or silkflowers or a photo or engravedimage. A design can depict thedeceased’s favourite place,flower, animal, hobby or havereligious significance.

Lastly, it is important toremember that you will befully responsible formaintaining the memorial soyou need to arrange for it to beregularly maintained – andinsured.

Many memorial masons offermaintenance schemes whichinclude regular cleaning andchecking.● For more information,contact NAMM, the nationalassociation of memorialmasons on 01788 542264 or visitwww.namm.org.uk

Famous epitaphs“I told you I was ill”The epitaph above whichgraced the gravestone ofcomedy legend Spike Mil-ligan is perhaps one ofthe most famous ever.

Here are some morememorable inscriptions...

“I am ready to meet myMaker.Whether my Maker is pre-pared for the great ordealof meeting me is anothermatter.”

Winston Churchill

“Good friend for Jesussake forbeare,To dig the dust enclosedhere.Blessed be the man thatspares these stones,And cursed be he thatmoves my bones.”

William Shakespeare

“Nature and Nature's lawslay hid in night:God said, 'Let Newton be!'and all was light.”

Isaac Newton

“Alien tears will fill for him,Pity's long-broken ern,For his mourners will beoutcast men,And outcasts alwaysmourn.”

Oscar Wilde

“The best is yet to come.”Frank Sinatra● A well chosen headstone should simply capture the essence

of the life being commemorated

● Always check the type ofheadstone or memorial youchoose is acceptable at theplace of burial

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IF you have suffered a be-reavement or had a lovedone move into a care

home, clearing their house isone of the hardest things thatyou will ever have to face, butwith a little help you can getthrough this difficult but ne-cessary task.

When faced with the prospectof an empty house and thedaunting job of sortingthrough a lifetime of yourloved one’s possessions, youwill be forced to confront thereality of their death or thefact they have moved into acare home for the remainder oftheir days.

Sorting through theirbelongings will undoubtedlystir up a wealth of emotionsand memories and make youreflect on the finality of thesituation.

Whether your loved one hasmoved into a care home orpassed away, the key to gettingthrough this dauntingresponsibility is to keepmoving. Move from one roomor type of possessions to thenext, pausing as little aspossible so as not to giveyourself the opportunity todwell on how you feel.

Try to be as methodical aspossible, and do not examineeach object as this can unearthraw emotions and make thewhole process take longer andbe more painful than it really

needs to be.Be realistic and practical – if

you can’t face tackling thewhole house in one go, behonest with yourself and setyourself achievable, manage-able targets such as sortingthrough photographs one dayand the kitchen the next.

Always try to face the task as

a family, too, and work throughit together so you can allprovide one another with thelove and support you needduring this difficult time.

Do not be afraid to admit thatthe scale of the task is toomuch and ask for help. As wellas the assistance availablefrom loved ones, friends and

family, there are also manycompanies who can help easethe burden, includingprofessional organisers, houseclearance specialists andcleaners.

Whether your loved one haslived in their home for all theirlife or only for a few years,there is a lot to take intoconsideration when clearingout someone’s home. Makinglists to break down the job can

help you keep track ofeverything that needs to bedone. It can also be beneficialto discuss how the possessionsare to be divided up with allconcerned before starting toclear the house.

Work out a timetable, and berealistic in your goals –remember if it has taken alifetime to fill the house, youare not going to be able toclear and organise it all in a

week. Do not underestimatehow emotionally andphysically draining this taskwill be, and give yourself thetime you need to get it done.

Above all, remember this isnever going to be an easy task,but faced in the right way, withthe love and support of friendsand family, it can help you toreflect on the situation andprovide some closure to helpyou move forward.

Clearing out will help you to move on

● Clearing the house of someone who’s died or gone into care is usually a sad business

The Will WritingGuild (UK) Ltd

The Will WritingGuild (UK) Ltd

Call us now on:Tel: 01704 546688Mob: 07885 757361Email: [email protected] Court,39-41 Hoghton Street,Southport PR9 0NSwww.thewwg.co.uk

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Peace of Mind Matters

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Transcript of Peace of Mind Matters