Pastoral Care Protocols for the Ministry of...

Pastoral Care Protocols for the Ministry of Deacons

The Book of Order (G-6.0401 and G-6.0402) says of the office of Deacon,

The office of deacon as set forth in Scripture is one of sympathy, witness, and service after the

example of Jesus Christ. Persons of spiritual character, honest repute, of exemplary lives,

brotherly and sisterly love, warm sympathies, and sound judgment should be chosen for this

office.

a. It is the duty of deacons, first of all, to minister to those who are in need, to the sick, to the

friendless, and to any who may be in distress both within and beyond the community of faith.

They shall assume such other duties as may be delegated to them from time to time by the

session, such as leading the people in worship through prayers of intercession, reading the

Scriptures, presenting the gifts of the people, and assisting with the Lord’s Supper.

Historically, the Church has organized to accomplish its mission through certain offices. In the

Presbyterian Church, these office include Teaching and Ruling Elders and Deacons. This

resource has been prepared in order to assist the Deacons in effectively ministering to those

assigned to their care,

Effectively Developing Parish Relationships All Year Long

January

This is typically the month when newly ordained and installed Deacons begin their ministry. It

is important in this first month to introduce yourself to your newly-assigned parish. For those

who have previously served, it is a good time to remind the members of the parish to which you

are assigned that you are their appointed deacon. To make the work more manageable, each

of you may divide your list for phone calls and cards, but any communication should be from

both of you.

That means that only will write a note in a card and send the card, even though both of you sign

the card. Only one of you will make a telephone call on an anniversary or birthday, though you

call on behalf of both.

� Pray every day for the members of your Parish Unit, by name, lifting up any concerns or

prayer needs of which you are aware. Pray that God would effectively use you to

minister to these members of His family.

� Send a letter of introduction to each member family of your parish introducing yourself

and your partner deacon. This letter should include a digital picture of each of you, an

introduction, a short biography, your contact information and a listing of ways in which

you may be of service to this family. (Sample included in the Appendix)

� Sign and address all birthday cards for the month of January. You will have been

provided a list for your parish containing the names, addresses and birthday and

anniversary dates for each family in your parish. MAKE SURE THAT YOU CHECK YOUR

LIST AND YOUR CARDS AGAINST RECENT DEATH NOTICES IN THE BULLETIN, WEEKLY

EMAIL NEWSLETTER, PRAYER CHAIN AND MONTHLY NEWSLETTER TO KEEP YOUR LIST

UP TO DATE. THIS WILL HELP YOU AVOID SENDING A BIRTHDAY CARD TO A DECEASED

PERSON OR AN ANNIVERSARY CARD TO THE WIDOW OR WIDOWER OF A DECEASED

PARISHIONER. It is appropriate, especially if you know or have gotten to know the

recipient of a card fairly, to send a short note as well as a birthday or anniversary

greeting.

� Telephone those who are celebrating a birthday or anniversary on their special day.

Usually early evening (6:30 PM to 8:30 PM) is a good time to call. Your purpose in

calling should be to briefly connect, wish them a happy birthday or anniversary and offer

to close with prayer. A suggested script and several sample prayers for birthdays and

anniversaries may be found in the boxed areas below.

Hello. I am [NAME], one of your deacons. I understand that today is a special day for

you and I just wanted to call and wish you a happy birthday/ anniversary. Have you had

a good birthday/ anniversary? Good. I am so glad. [NAME OF OTHER DEACON] sends

his/her greetings as well. If I may, I would like to pray for you. Is that all right?

� Yes

Use one of the prayers below. When you are finished, ask, “Is there any way

that I can be of help to you or anything for which I may be in prayer for you?”

If yes, make note of the prayer request and mark your calendar for later follow-

up. If no, say, “It has been great talking with you. I hope you have a

blessed/great week. Good-bye!”

� NO

Finish by asking, “Is there any way that I can be of help to you or anything for

which I may be in prayer for you?” If yes, make note of the prayer request and

mark your calendar for later follow-up. If no, say, “It has been great talking

with you. I hope you have a blessed/ great week. Good-bye!”

SAMPLE BIRTHDAY PRAYERS

Gracious God, may this day and all [NAME’S} days be filled with the wonder of Your special love

for him/her. I rejoice with him/her in this celebration of the life that you have given. O God

keep him/her in touch with all that you have created in him/her and all that he/she is meant to

become through Your love. I pray this in Jesus’ name. AMEN.

Dear Father in Heaven, today is [NAME’S] birthday. I pray for his/her happiness, of course, but

also for a greater sense of fulfillment in work, an ease of communication with those he/she

loves, and a sense of satisfaction in all that he/she has accomplished. Above all, may he/she

rest secure in the knowledge of Your constant love and care. In Jesus’ name I pray. AMEN.

Lord, let this celebration of [NAME’S] birth be a reminder to him/her of all the gifts and

blessings he/she has received from You this day and all the days of his/her life. On this day of

celebration, I thank you for [NAME’S] life and all of his/her blessings. I ask for another year

filled with Your presence in his/her life that he/she may continue to grow in your love. In Jesus’

name. AMEN.

St. Theresa's Prayer

Dear God, may [NAME] have peace within today. May he/she trust You that he/she is exactly

where he/she is meant to be. May he/she not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of

faith. May he/she use those gifts that he/she has received, and pass on the love that has been

given to him/her. May he/she be content knowing he/she is a child of God. Let Your presence

settle into his/her bones, and allow his/her soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love. It

is there for each and every one. In Jesus’ name. AMEN.

SAMPLE ANNIVERSARY PRAYERS

Dear Lord, help [NAMES] to remember when they first met and the strong love that grew

between them. Enable them to work that love into practical things so nothing can divide them.

Give them words both kind and loving, and hearts always ready to ask forgiveness as well as the

grace to forgive each other. Dear Lord, we celebrate their special day and ask your blessing on

them this day. In Jesus’ name we pray. AMEN.

God of power and might, You have kept [NAMES] together for [years of marriage]. Thank you

for the joy of celebrating their life together today and for the many ways their marriage has

touched their family and those around them. Indeed, You have blessed us all with [NAMES].

Please strengthen them, guide them, and sustain them for many more years with each other

and with us, that we all may live in the light of Your love. We pray this in Jesus’ name. AMEN

Gracious God, bless [NAMES] and grant them joy in their life together. God bless them and help

them to remember the purpose for which He brought them together, the joy of years past and

the hope of years to come. Deepen their love for each other. Bless them in their family and

friends, and lead them to unending happiness in Heaven. Almighty God, Father, Son, and Holy

Spirit, bless us all, and keep us in Your love forever and ever, through Jesus Christ our Lord.

Amen.

� Make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on Sunday

morning. Make it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s

deacon. If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as

appropriate.

� If you become aware that members of your Parish Unit are missing from worship for

more than two weeks, contact them by phone and let them know they are missed.

� Encourage the families in your Parish Unit to sit together at Second Sunday Fellowship

Luncheons.

February

February is usually a slow month unless Ash Wednesday happens to fall during the month of

February and the season of Lent starts early. Now that you have made contact by letter with

the members of your parish, it would be good to do a follow-up phone call to make personal

contact with them. Again, dividing the list between you and your partner deacon will make the

work easier.




� Call the members of your Parish Unit by phone to make personal contact with them.

This is a natural and logical next step in developing a caring and intentional relationship

with the members of your parish. If no one is home, leave a message on the answering

machine with your phone number. A sample script is provided below.

� Send inexpensive Valentine’s Day Cards to members of your parish unit.

� Send February birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make February birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.

� Make an effort to attend the “other” worship service from the one you normally

attend at least two Sundays out of this month. If you attend the 8:30 AM worship

service, make an effort to attend the 11:00 AM worship service and vice versa. Look for

and make personal contact with as many members of your parish as you can on at this

service of worship. These are people you do not normally see on a weekly basis. Make

it a point to introduce yourself and identify yourself as that person’s or couple’s deacon.

If possible, engage them in conversation and express caring and concern as appropriate.




Luncheons.

March

Hi, this is [YOUR NAME]. I am one of your deacons. I am just calling for a quick follow-

up. Do you have time to talk for two or three minutes? I just wanted to make sure you

got our letter of introduction last month? Did you? Good! Do you have any questions?

Is there any that way we can be of assistance to you and your family or any prayer

concerns you might have?

All right! I just wanted to touch base and speak with you personally. I look forward to

getting to know you and I look forward to seeing you in church. Thank you for your

time. You will be hearing from me again soon. Good-bye!

March would be a good month to make a personal visit to the homes of the members of your

parish group. You have already made contact by mail. You have followed up that mail contact

with a telephone call to introduce yourself. Now, a brief face-to-face visit is in order. Again, by

dividing your list, you divide the work and enable the possibility of making contact with

everyone in your parish in half the time that would be needed for both of you to have face-to-

face contact with everyone.

It is easiest to make a visit if you have something in hand, giving you a reason to call. Very few

people will turn down the gift of a home-made baked good, so dropping off a coffee cake

serves as an easy means of introduction and allows a personal contact with limited threat to

you or the person or family on whom you are calling.

Perhaps you have a specialty that you would like to share with the members of your parish. If

not, there are easy ways of preparing something to drop off at the home of one of the

members of your parish unit. It may be more fun and easier if the Deacons as a whole engaged

in a night of cookie baking, making enough for everyone’s parishioners to share a dozen cookies

each. Here are some other ideas:

• Pillsbury Ready-to-Bake Cookies

• Brownies from a mix

• Nut bread

• Banana bread

• Date/ nut bread

• Other baked goods of your choice

• BISQUICK COFFEE CAKE

You’ll be amazed at how simple this recipe is and how fast you can whip one up.

First, preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Get your round, 9 x 1 ½ inch pan ready by greasing it. Next,

make your Streusel topping and set it aside:

• 1/3 cup Bisquick

• 1/3 cup brown sugar, packed

• 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon (I like to add a bit more since I love cinnamon!)

• 2 tablespoons of margarine or butter

Mix the first three ingredients together. Then cut in the margarine with a fork or pastry blender until the

mixture is crumbly.

For the batter you’ll need:

• 2 cups of Bisquick

• 2 tablespoons of sugar

• 2/3 cup of milk

• 1 egg

Mix all the batter ingredients together and spread in your prepared pan. Now sprinkle that with the

Streusel topping. If you’d like, you can take a butter knife and zig-zag it through the topping for a

marbled effect.

Pop it in the oven and bake it for 18 to 22 minutes. It should look golden brown on top when it’s done.

Let it cool for just a few minutes so it will come out of the pan nicely, but to experience this coffee cake

at its best, it should really be served warm.




� Make and freeze ahead cookies, coffee cake or quick bread to take as a gift for members

of your parish unit. Visits may be made over the course of the month of March and do

not need to be made on the same day. If you make two to three visits per week, you

will cover half of your parish in one month. The important thing is to make personal

contact with each family in your Parish Unit, making sure that they know you by face

and name. Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon are usually good times to make a

brief drive-by, drop-off visit. Call before you visit and make sure someone from the

family is home. Tell them, “I just want to drop off a gift for you and your family.”

Label what you drop off with a card or sticker that says, “A gift from your Deacon,

[YOUR NAME].” Also make sure that cookies are thawed and baked goods thawed and

warmed before you drop them off.

� Send March birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make March birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.




appropriate.




Luncheons.

� Phone calls to encourage participation and involvement during Holy Week and Easter

Services are appropriate. (If Easter falls in March)

April

By now you should be known and recognized by the members of your Parish Unit. The family

should also be known to you. You should be aware of any special needs that they might have.

You have accelerated the contact with the family from mail contact to phone contact to

personal face-to-face contact. Now is the time to be a bit less assertive.




� Send April birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make April birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.











Luncheons.

� Phone calls to encourage participation and involvement during Holy Week and Easter

Services are appropriate. (If Easter falls in April)

May

Now that you have made personal contact with the members of your Parish Unit, you can begin

to help them get to know and develop friendships and relationships among themselves. Your

roles is that of facilitator, intentionally creating situations where members of your parish can be

together and get to know one another. The usual protocol for the month should be ongoing,

however, if you can add one event during the month, co-sponsored with your deacon partner,

you can help build and strengthen the relational networks in your parish unit and in First

Presbyterian Church.




� Send May birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make May birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.




appropriate.




Luncheons.

� With your Deacon partner, plan an event to which several of your Parish Unit families

may be Invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one another.

Several suggestions or ideas are:

• Create your own One-Dish-Date for Eight for several couples or families in your Parish

Unit [call Sylvia Jones (804) 776-8387 or LuAnn Nagel (804) 693-0981 for assistance]

• Have a Memorial Day Picnic and invite several of your Parish Unit families to participate.

• Create a Progressive Dinner within your Parish Unit and invite as many as are willing to

participate.

• Invite several couples or families for dinner or dessert.

• Have a Parish Unit Potluck

• Pick one or several of the couples in your Parish Unit and invite them to:

o The movies

o Get ice cream

o A small-group Bible Study

o A picnic at your home

o Lunch or brunch after church

o A wine and cheese party at your home

o A movie night at your home

o Play cards with you

o Make homemade ice cream with you

o Go to a baseball game with you

June

Summer is about to arrive, graduation is about to occur, school is about to let out and families

will be traveling and going on vacation. Such times are difficult to find people at home and it is

not easy to make or maintain contact. This is a time when you can slow down a bit.




� Send high school and college graduation cards where appropriate.

� Send June birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make June birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.











Luncheons.

� With your Deacon partner or by yourself, plan an event to which several of your Parish

Unit families may be invited with the intention of helping them get to know you and one

another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May.

July




� Send July birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make July birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.

� If you have a flower or vegetable garden, consider sharing the excess with members of

your Parish Unit.




appropriate.




Luncheons.



another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May or June.

� Send out a postcard to members of your Parish Unit to let them know that you are

praying for them and that if they have a need, they should call you. (See example)

You are in myYou are in myYou are in myYou are in my prayers . . .prayers . . .prayers . . .prayers . . .

(Front)

(Reverse)

August




� Send August birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make August birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.








Just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and your family. I hope you are having a restful and relaxing summer and are enjoying the beauty of God’s creation. See you at church! Mary Christmas, Deacon 804804804804----555555555555----1234 (Home)1234 (Home)1234 (Home)1234 (Home) 804804804804----555555555555----4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)4321 (Cell)

Mr. and Mrs. Cole

Furniss

867 Pirates Cove

Arrrrgh, Virginia 23077




your Parish Unit.


Luncheons.



another. This should be with a different couple or group than in May, June, July or

August.

September




� Send September birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.

� Make September birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.


your Parish Unit.




appropriate.




Luncheons.

October




� Send October birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for guidance.

� Make October birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.











Luncheons.

� Invite the members of your Parish Unit, either by phone or written invitation, to attend

the Harvest Festival with you.

November




� Send November birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.

� Make November birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.




appropriate.




Luncheons.

December




� Include the members of your Parish Unit in any Christmas cards you send out. Cards

may be delivered through the US Postal Service, hand delivered or delivered through the

First Church Christmas Card Project.

� Send December birthday and anniversary cards. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.

� Make December birthday and anniversary phone calls. Use JANUARY instructions for

guidance.











Luncheons.

PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of January

Instructions: Insert names chronologically by date, not alphabetically by last

name.

NAME ADDRESS BIRTHDAY PHONE NUMBER

PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of February


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of March


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of April


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of May


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of June


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of July


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of August


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of September


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of October


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of November


name.


PARISH UNIT BIRTHDAY RECORD Month of December


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of January


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of February


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of March


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of April


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of May


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of June


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of July


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of August


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of September


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of October


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of November


name.


PARISH UNIT ANNIVERSARY RECORD Month of December


name.


January Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each.

◄ December ~ January 2012 ~ February ►

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1

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Notes:

More Calendars: February, March, April

February Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each.

◄ January ~ February 2012 ~ March ►


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March Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ February ~ March 2012 ~ April ►


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More Calendars: April, May, June

April Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ March ~ April 2012 ~ May ►


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May Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ April ~ May 2012 ~ June ►


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June Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ May ~ June 2012 ~ July ►


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July Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ June ~ July 2012 ~ August ►


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August Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ July ~ August 2012 ~ September ►


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September Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ August ~ September 2012 ~ October ►


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October Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ September ~ October 2012 ~ November ►


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November Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ October ~ November 2012 ~ December ►


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December Calendar Insert names of individuals followed by a B (for birthday) and names of couples followed by an A (for anniversary) on the appropriate date for each

◄ November ~ December 2012 ~ January ►


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Notes:

WHEN A MEMBER OF YOUR PARISH UNIT IS HOSPITALIZED

OUTPATIENT SURGERY/TESTS OR BRIEF STAY (overnight)

BEFORE SURGERY/TESTS

� If you find out about their surgery BEFORE it actually occurs,

call your parishioner the day or night before the surgery

(early evening, if the night before, no later than 7:00

PM). Offer to pray with them. A sample phone conversation

is offered for you use below or feel free to ad lib. Sample

prayers are provided for your use in the Appendix of

this manual.

Hi, [NAME]! This is your deacon [YOUR NAME]. Do you have time to talk for just a moment?

(Wait for answer or response) I heard you were having surgery/tests tomorrow and I wanted to

touch base with you before you go in. Is there any way that I can be of help to you or your

family in the next couple of days? (Wait for answer or response) Is there anything you need?

(Pause)

Well, I promised to keep this short. Please know that I will be praying for you as you go through

your procedure. May I pray with you now, over the phone? (Wait for response)

If “YES”

Offer prayer for the person or use one of the “Prayers for Those about to Undergo Surgery” in

the space below.

After praying with them, close with “Thank you for the opportunity to pray with you. Have a

good evening and may God be with you.”

If “NO”

Thanks for the opportunity to speak with you. I hope all goes well for you tomorrow. Have a

good evening and may God be with you.

PRAYERS FOR THOSE ABOUT TO HAVE SURGERY, TESTS OR MEDICAL PROCEDURES

God, be with [NAME] during [insert medical test or procedure]. Calm any fear, soothe any pain,

and hold [NAME]’s hand throughout the procedure. Guide those administering the procedure,

that it may be done quickly, efficiently, and painlessly, to the glory of Your name. Amen.

[The following prayers are adapted from The Book of Common Prayer]

Almighty God our heavenly Father, I ask that you comfort [NAME] in his/her illness/suffering.

Bless the tests and procedures that he/she is about to undergo that they might work for his/her

healing and cure. Fill his/her heart with confidence that, though at times he/she may be

afraid, even so he/she may put his/her trust in you; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Strengthen your servant [NAME], O God, to do what he/she has to do and bear

what he/she must bear; that, accepting your healing gifts through the skill of surgeons and

nurses, he/she may be restored to usefulness in your world with a thankful heart; through Jesus

Christ our Lord. Amen.

Heavenly Father, giver of life and health: Comfort and relieve your sick servant [NAME], and

give your power of healing to those who minister to his/her needs, that he/she may be

strengthened in his/her weakness and have confidence in your loving care; through Jesus

Christ our Lord. Amen.

AFTER SURGERY/TESTS

� Pray regularly for the patient and the patient’s

family.

� Send a get-well or “thinking of you” card

within one day of finding out about your

parishioner’s hospitalization (either before or

after surgery). Send the card to their home

address since they will likely be out of the

hospital before yourcard would normally

arrive at the hospital.

� Follow up with a phone call to your parishioner’s home after they have returned from

the hospital. A sample telephone conversation is provided. Often the family will be

fielding telephone calls, especially if the patient has had surgery, even though it is

considered outpatient surgery or has only required an overnight stay. It is enough to

express your concern for the patient to a family member and to inquire after

his or her condition. Remember, surgery that once required a two-three day stay in

the hospital is now considered routine and patients are released much sooner. That

does not mean that the severity and stress of the surgery or procedure is any less.

Sample Follow-up Phone Call for Those Recently Hospitalized

� If there is a long convalescence, it is appropriate to make a brief home visit after about a

week. There are two rules of thumb here:

• First, is the Golden Rule. Put yourself in the other person’s place. What would you want

or desire from your deacon? If you have gotten to know this person fairly well, you will

have a sense of how much contact is appropriate. Some will be content with a card and

a phone call as an expression of care and concern. Others will gladly welcome a

personal visit. Prayerfully use your best judgment.

• Second, is the “Err On the Side of Doing Too Much” Rule. People will rarely remember

what you say. However, they will remember what you do. They will remember that you

sent a card, made a phone call or dropped by to visit. One of the largest Presbyterian

churches in our Presbytery has a simple rule for pastoral care when rendered by

Deacons, Stephen Ministers or members of the congregation. The rule is this:

“SHOW UP AND SHUT UP”

That may sound a bit harsh! However, the point is this . . . your presence indicates your

concern and caring better than any other method of pastoral care. In addition, you may

be plagued with the question, “What will I say?” That is where the second part comes

in. Go without a pre-arranged script and LISTEN!!!

If you go with the sole purpose of representing Christ, communicating the care and

concern of a Christian friend and an intent to listen to the concerns of the person you

visit, you will have a positive and productive encounter with the person you are

contacting. REMEMBER: They likely won’t remember what you say. They will always

Hi, [NAME], this your Deacon [YOUR NAME]. How are you this evening? [PAUSE] I

don’t want to keep you for more than a moment as I know you have recently gotten

home from the hospital. I am just checking in to see how you are coming along. Is

there anything you or your family need that I can help with? Well, I hope you are

feeling better and that your recovery time will be short. If I can be of assistance,

please give me a call. In the meantime, you will be in my prayers.

Have a good evening and may God’s love and peace surround you.

remember that you came to visit!

ONGOING TREATMENT/CHEMOTHERAPY/DIALYSIS/RADIATION TREATMENT AND EXTENDED

CONVALESCENCE/ HOSPICE CARE

As part of the Pastoral Care Team at First

Presbyterian Church of Gloucester, Virginia, the

individual deacon plays a very important role. Often,

members of your parish unit will be faced with chronic

illness that requires frequent trips to the doctor or

ongoing treatment such as radiation therapy,

chemotherapy or dialysis. Such treatments require

logistical complications for the patient and family

members. Schedules must be juggled, transportation

needs to be arranged and caregivers can be

overwhelmed, especially in the early phases of

treatment.

THE DEACON’S TASK IS NOT TO SUPPLY ALL LOGISTIC AND PASTORAL CARE NEEDS FOR

THE PERSON IN YOUR PARISH UNIT OR THEIR FAMILY. That being said, the Deacon has a very

important role in facilitating a response to those needs that can be met by:

• The Pastor and staff

• The Stephen Ministers

• The Board of Deacons

• The membership of the congregation

Such needs might include, but not be limited to:

• Transportation to and from the doctor

• Transportation to and from therapy sessions

• Transportation to and from church

• Occasional meals

• Lawn care

• Respite care for the caregiver (sitting with the patient so the caregiver can go

shopping)

To that end, the following is appropriate.

� Pray regularly for the patient and the family of the patient.

� Contact the parishioner or the parishioner’s family by visit and ask if you may briefly visit

to speak with the family about ways the Board of Deacons and the members of the

congregation may be of assistance.

� Take the brochure, “How May We Help?” [see Appendix] with you when you visit. Go

through the brochure with the parishioner or a member of the parishioner’s family to

assess their needs for assistance and the ways in which the Board of Deacons, pastor,

Stephen Ministers and members of the congregation may be of assistance.

� While present in the home, make a visit to encourage and offer comfort to the patient.

� With the completed Needs Assessment in hand, contact the Chair of the Board of

Deacons to begin the process of meeting the needs of the member or member family,

either through the Board of Deacons, the request for a Stephen Minister or through

the membership of the congregation.

� Follow-up regularly to make sure the patient and family are receiving the care they

need.

DEATH OF A PARISHIONER OR PARISHIONER’S FAMILY MEMBER

The role of the deacon is critical at the time of

death. You will probably receive word after-the-fact.

You will likely receive information of a person’s passing

either through email via the Prayer Chain, a specific

email to you from the Church Office informing you of

your parishioner’s death or a phone call from the

Administrative Assistant. Please also pay attention to

pulpit announcements, information conveyed through

the weekly email newsletter, the obituary in the

Gazette-Journal and other means.

When a parishioner dies, the following protocol should apply:

� Pray for the family of the deceased.

� Immediately prepare something to take to the family. It doesn’t have to be homemade,

but should be something that will be helpful to the family in entertaining out-of-town

guests and family members. Usually, simple “munchies” are easiest and most

appreciated. The following are appropriate:

o A simple casserole

o Cupcakes

o Cookies

o Nutbread or poundcake

o Chex Mix

o Cheese Tray

Keep your visit short. DO NOT GO IN THE HOUSE UNLESS INVITED. IF INVITED,

DECLINE. Just communicate the following message: “I am your Deacon and I am so

sorry for your loss. I brought something for you and your family. Please know that you

are in my prayers. If I can be of further assistance, please call me.” [LEAVE YOUR

DEACON CARD]

� Send a sympathy card to the family.

� Plan to attend the visitation at the funeral home if there is one. Make sure you make

contact with the family again, identifying yourself as the deacon of the deceased.

Express condolences to members of the family. Leave a copy of your calling card and let

the family know that if they need anything to please call you.

� Attend the funeral or the memorial service for your parishioner. Again, make sure that

you connect with the widow/widower or family members at the reception following the

service.

� MAKE SURE THAT YOU IMMEDIATELY EDIT YOUR BIRTHDAY AND ANNIVERSARY

CALENDARS AND LISTS. REMOVE THE NAME OF THE DECEASED FROM BOTH LISTS. IF

YOU HAVE ALREADY SIGNED AND ADDRESSED A BIRTHDAY OR ANNIVERSARY CARD,

MAKE SURE THAT YOU PULL IT FROM THE “TO BE SENT” STACK AND DESTROY IT!!

It would be embarrassing to you and potentially catastrophic from an emotional

perspective if a widow or widower received a birthday card addressed to a deceased

spouse or if a widow or widower received an anniversary card when a spouse has

passed away.

“Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds;”---Proverbs 27:23

Follow-up Care—Week One

� Pray for the survivor and the deceased’s family.

� Drop by the home of the survivor about a week after the funeral. Let them know that

you are just checking in with them to see how they are doing now that family has gone

home and all of the activity related to the death/funeral/memorial service is over. Let

them know that you will be checking with them over the next few weeks just to see how

they are doing.

Follow-up Care—Week Two


� Make a telephone call to the survivor about two weeks after the funeral/ memorial

service. Ask if there is any way that you may be of help or service to the survivor.

� If you have not seen them in worship since the funeral, express concern at their

absence. Offer them a ride, if needed and offer to sit with them in church, if they would

like.

Follow-up Care—Week Three


� Send a “Thinking of You” card and write a short note to the survivor.

DEACON MONTHLY REPORT FORM Month of __________________ , 2011

Number of Birthday Cards Sent _________________

Number of Anniversary Cards Sent _________________

Face-to-Face Contacts with:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Phone Calls Made:

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Home Visits Made:

NAME DATE REASON

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

Other activities:

______________________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________________

Hi! This is just a quick note to introduce

ourselves. We are your new deacons.

My name is Mary Christmas (mine is the

top picture!) and I have just been recently

ordained and installed as a deacon. I have

been assigned the parish of which you are

a member. I look forward to getting to

know you and serving you in any way that

I can.

I am a retired elementary school teacher.

My husband Jim is a lawyer. We have

three children; Sarah, William and Jesse

and have three grandkids. We moved

here from Los Angeles and have been

members of the church for six years.

If you need to contact me, my contact

information is as follows:

Mary Christmas

1234 Maple Glen Drive

Gloucester, VA 23061

804-555-1234 (Home)

804-555-4321 (Cell)

[email protected]

Hi! I am the other deacon assigned to this parish. My name is Terry Kloth (my picture is the

bottom one!). I am in my second term as a deacon, but was previously assigned to another

parish, so we are new to one another. I have been a member of First Presbyterian Church for

20 years, so I already know many of you, but look forward to getting to know you better.

I am an accountant, still in practice. My wife Emory and I have two children, Carl and

Elizabeth, and one grandchild.

If you need to contact me, my contact information is as follows:

Terry Kloth 804-555-8990 (Home)

5678 Upupanda Way 804-555-4556 (Cell)

Gloucester, VA 23061

[email protected]

Pastoral Care Protocols for the Ministry of...

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