Passive Voice and Nominalizations

Active vs. Passive

John drove his car.

becomes…

The car was driven.

Making it Passive

Shift object to front “To be” + verb Subject moves to end of sentence and

sometimes disappears altogether

Is it “Wrong”?

There are times when the passive voice is acceptable; however, it often pushes the main characters toward the end of a sentence and makes your meaning unclear. Like having a delayed thesis, it slows reader comprehension.

Political Uses of Passive Voice

“Mistakes were made.” “He was found to be a poor job

candidate.” “The problem will be rectified at the

appropriate time.” “Apologies will be delivered.”

Fixing the Passive Voice

Identify the main action (verb). Identify what character (person, place, or

thing) is doing the action. If no character exists, you may have to create one.

Shift the character to the front of the sentence.

Put the verb in an active voice or use a new verb.

Revise these

The car was driven by John to the football game.

Mistakes were made. It has been decided that she will not get a

raise.

Real-World Example

It can also stem from academic laziness:

Cavalier Daily (mostly in last two paragraphs … but appears earlier, too).

How to use MS Word to help you identify passive voice.

Nominalizations

Ack! Intimidating word. Rough definition: when writers turn

good verbs (and adjectives) into nouns … which usually makes the meaning of a sentence unclear.

Making a story unclear

A relocation effort was undertaken by multiple parties.

Construction of sheltering structures commenced.

Several exhalations of destructive value occurred in rapid succession.

Final demolition resulted and caloric intake became a desired end point.

As opposed to …

Three little pigs left their mother to make their way in the world.

The first little pig met a man selling straw … and built a house from it ….

A wolf walked up and said, “Little Pig, little pig, let me in…”

CommercialWhat’s the difference?

An example:

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Meaning is unclear, right?

Better?

“When governments intervene in fast changing technologies, they distort how markets evolve and interfere with how new products develop.”

Diagnosing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Feels awkward … meaning unclear

Diagnosing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Underline first 7 words or so. Is there a concrete character? If not, trouble …

Diagnosing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Former verbs with tacked-on noun converters like “tion,” “ence,” “ism,” “ings,” “ness.”

Diagnosing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Lots of prepositional phrases?

Analyzing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Decide who your characters are … especially concrete characters.

Analyzing Nominalizations

“Governmental intervention in fast changing technologies has led to the distortion of market evolution and interference in new product development.”

Find nominalizations and convert them back to verbs.

Revise

“When governments intervene in fast changing technologies, they distort how markets evolve and interfere with how new products develop.”

Put characters in front of actions whenever possible. (Unless you are Alan Greenspan.)

Examples of nominalizations

Evaluate evaluation

Decide decision

Revise revision

Outsource outsourcing

Careless carelessness

Ambivalent ambivalence

A Nominalization

Lincoln’s hope was for the preservation of the Union without war, but the South’s attack on Fort Sumter made war an inevitability.

Lincoln’s hope was for the preservation of the Union without war, but the South’s attack on Fort Sumter made war an inevitability.

Nominalizations Characters

Another example

There were predictions by business executives that the economy would experience a quick revival.

Nominalizations Characters

Attempts at explanations for increases in voter participation in this year’s elections were offered by several candidates.

Nominalizations Characters

An understanding as to the need for controls over drinking on campus was recognized by fraternities.

There is uncertainty at the CIA about North Korean intentions as to the likelihood of missile orbitization over the short-term horizon of three next days.

Complaints by editorial writers about voter apathy rarely offer suggestions with any viability on how to dispel it.