OSHKOSH: A CIVILOSHKOSH: A CIVIL COMMUNITYCOMMUNITY

The Oshkosh Civility Project 

The Oshkosh Civility Project Major Financial Benefactors

SPEAK YOUR PEACE OSHKOSH!

Credits to:• Dr PM Forni Johns• Dr. PM Forni – Johns 

Hopkins University• Truckee Tahoe• Truckee‐Tahoe Community FoundationD l th S i A• Duluth‐Superior Area Community Foundation

Members, of the Oshkosh Civility Project Core Team

• Karen Fredrick - West Side Tire & Auto

• Karlene Grabner O hk h A C it F d ti• Karlene Grabner - Oshkosh Area Community Foundation

• Tom Grogan - facilitator - UW Oshkosh

• Karen Heikel - UW Oshkosh

• Sue Panek - Oshkosh Area United Way

• Walter Scott - Independence Financial LLC

• Liz Hebbe U S C ll l• Liz Hebbe - U.S. Cellular

GETTING STARTED

Visit to Truckee‐Tahoe CommunityE l i f ff i D l h S iExploration of efforts in Duluth‐Superior

P li i• Politics• Letters to the EditorBl A d O h i• Blogs – Anonymous and Otherwise

• Economic downturnM d f h bli• Mood of the public

• High visibility incidents – Rutgers & TTucson

OUR GOAL

’ d b• Can’t we do better?• Aren’t we known for friendliness 

and hospitality?• We should set a higher mark!We should set a higher mark!• Provide a common framework to 

discuss civility‐related issuesdiscuss civility‐related issues.

LET’S AGREE TO AGREE

• This is NOT a campaign to end all disagreements … this is a campaign to make it safe tocampaign to make it safe to disagree.F I i th h t• Focus:  Improving the character and quality of interpersonal q y pcommunication.

KEY STRATEGY• Involve all major stakeholders• Attract interest ~ secure buy‐in• Attract interest ~ secure buy in• Work small ~ grow bigger• Encourage grassroots interest & involvement

• We are not just targeting those who are uncivil but those whowho are uncivil, but those who allow uncivilized behavior to happen. 

CHOOSING CIVILITY• National speakerR i d th it• Recognized authority

• Provide visibility• Conceptual structure

WHAT WE DID …• Concern ‐> ACTION• Core Group• Formulated Plans• Truckee Leadership Breakfast• Forni Community Breakfast• Forni – Library & School Board• Mayor’s Proclamation• Website• Continued outreach/dialogue• Promotional Materials

CHOOSING CIVILITY

CIVILITY IN THE PUBLIC SCHOOLS

A DAY OF CIVIL DISCUSSION

The people of Oshkosh were urged to reflect on the importance fundamental valuesfundamental values• RespectU d t di• Understanding

• Compassionb f d h

Feb. 24 2011 Walter Scott & Mayor Paul

befitting  a proud community with a rich history & heritage of an active, engaged informed and involvedMayor Paul 

Esslingerengaged, informed and involved citizenry. 

Summer 2011:  A Plan for Community EngagementCommunity EngagementBuild on established strengthsAttract interest, attention & buy­inFocus on improving communicationFocus on improving communicationNot the “civility police”Civility pledgeCivility pledge

Pledge ... n. a Who’s Signing?gsolemn promise

t tIndividualsO i tior agreement to

do (or refrain OrganizationsBusinessesBoards(

from doing) a t t d d

Boards

stated end.

www.OshkoshCivilityProject.org

Core Team

CommitteeExamples

Communication Events

Speakers Bureau Business Outreach

Education Organization Outreach

________ ________

OSHKOSH CIVILITY PLEDGE

“We build a stronger and more diverse community by activelydiverse community by actively sharing our ideas and opinions with th i th htf l d id tothers in thoughtful and considerate ways.  By practicing this basic y y p gcommitment  to civility, we  learn and grow from one another ‐ even inand grow from one another ‐ even in disagreement.”

OSHKOSH CIVILITY PLEDGET d d d I i t tiToday and everyday, I aspire to practice the following skills...

1. Pay Attention ‐ Be Aware of Others & Sensitive to the Immediate Context of Actions

2. Listen Closely ‐ Understand Other Points of View

3 Be Inclusive W l All D ' E l d A3. Be Inclusive ‐ Welcome All; Don't Exclude Anyone

4. Don't Gossip ‐ Remind Others of the Importance of this Practicethis Practice

5. Show Respect ‐ Honor Others (Especially in Disagreement)

… continued

OSHKOSH CIVILITY PLEDGET d d d I i t tiToday and everyday, I aspire to practice the following skills...

6. Be Agreeable ‐ Find Opportunities to Agree7. Apologize Sincerely ‐ Repair Damaged Relationships

8 Give Constructive Comments  8. Give Constructive Comments, Suggestions & Feedback ‐ No Personal Attacks (Focus on Issues)(Focus on Issues)

9. Accept Responsibility ‐ Don't Shift Blame; Share Disagreements Publicly

LET’S AGREE TO AGREE

• This is NOT a campaign to end all disagreements … this is a campaign to make it safe tocampaign to make it safe to disagree.

• Focus:  Improving the character p gand quality of all interpersonal communicationcommunication.

CIVILITY DEFINED• “Benevolent awareness of others”

• Civil ~ when weave restraint, respect and , pconsideration into fabric of awareness

• Civil ~ when we care about others and treat them well

WHAT DOES CIVILITY DO?• Strengthens social bondsbonds

• Reduces stress• Increases satisfactionIncreases satisfaction• Increase work quality• Good for relationshipsGood for relationships• Good for business• Civility does theCivility does the “everyday busywork of goodness”goodness

INCIVILITY AT WORK

>90% of workers experienceCOSTS US ALL

• >90% of workers experience incivility– 50% lost work time worrying– 13% left the company

• >50% American workforce has high stress levelshigh stress levels– >1/3 identifies “people issues” to cause of stress at workW kl d i #2– Workload is #2

• Estimated cost of workplace stress: $300 billion per yearp y

Source: P.M. Forni

NINE TOOLS OF CIVILITY

CIVILITY: CITY & SOCIETY “The

Oth ”

Me, Myself

Other”& I

Known Other Group Unknown

OtherMy Group

Other Group

To be Revisited …

1. PAY ATTENTION

Be aware andBe aware and attend to theattend to the world and the people around you.

2. LISTENMuch of the conflict i li bin our lives can be explained by one p ysimple but unhappy f d ’fact: we don’t really listen toreally listen to each other.

“We in America have hi deverything we need except 

the most important thing of p gall—time to think and the habit of thought ”habit of thought.

Norman Cousins

3. BE INCLUSIVE

Welcome all groupsWelcome all groups of citizens working f h   d for the greater good of the community.of the community.  Remember to “Invite the Stranger.”

O hk hCi ili P jwww.OshkoshCivilityProject.org

4. DON’T GOSSIPDon’t discount the power of your wordspower of your words.  

Speaking with consideration andconsideration and kindness is at the h t f i ilheart of civil behavior.

5. SHOW RESPECTDisagree without b i di blbeing disagreeable.Respect includes precognizing that h i l dothers are entitled 

to look at the worldto look at the world differently.

The Principle ofThe Principle of Respect for Persons

We ought to treat others as ends in themselves rather than as means for the satisfaction of our immediate 

needs and desires

PM Forni

6. BE AGREEABLETwo key ingredients f b i bl ifor being agreeable in conversation:1. The ability to consider that youconsider that you might be wrong.2. The ability to admitthat you don’t know.t at you do t o

7. APOLOGIZE

Be sincere and repair damaged relationshipsrelationshipsSimple, decent pwords, that soothe the br ised so lthe bruised soul:  “I’m sorry.”y

Life today is more about feeling good y f g gand less about being good. 

“We spend much more time tending to the quality of our emotional lives thanthe quality of our emotional lives than to the quality of our moral lives.” 

J h H lb tJoshua Halberstam

8. GIVE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM

Intention must be to help not to humiliatehelp, not to humiliate.

When disagreeing stickWhen disagreeing, stick to the issues & no 

l kpersonal attack!

9. TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

Don’t try to shift blame onto others.

Share disagreements publiclypublicly.

CIVILITY: A MODEL

2 Listen1 Pay AttentionMe,

Myself

& I“The

Other”2 Listen

3 Be Inclusive& I Other

5 Be RespectfulAll 6 Be Agreeable

7 A l i

All Others

4 Don’t Gossip!7 Apologize

8 Constructive Feedback8 Constructive Feedback9 Take or Accept Responsibility!

RESPONDING TO RUDENESSS• State the facts

• Inform the other personSIR • Inform the other person how you were impacted by th i ti

SIRtheir actions

• Request that hurtful qbehavior not be repeated

CHOOSE CIVILITY• Engage others• Inform others• Inform others• Learn from others• Learn with othersM d l t bli h• Model or establishideal communityystandards

CHOOSE CIVILITY!CHOOSE CIVILITY!

• It is quite possible to be true to one’s beliefs• It is quite possible to be true to one s beliefs and be civil at the same timeThe issue is not whether to stand firm or to• The issue is not whether to stand firm or to compromise, but how to express our firmnessfirmness

JUST SAY YESJUST SAY YESTO CIVILITYTO CIVILITY

O hk hCi ili P jwww.OshkoshCivilityProject.org