Oneg Toldos

8
? ? Quiz Time ? ? Answers can be found on back page | http://livingwithmitzvos.com/ 1. What is the significance of Yaakov and Eisav being twins? PARSHAH TOLDOS - DID YITZCHAK NOT KNOW ABOUT THE TRUE NATURE OF EISAV? Rabbi Shmuel Kimche Rabbi at Yeshivat Reishit Yershalayim KINDLY SPONSORED ה" ע חנה בת אלעזר לעילוי נשמתל" ז שלמה בן אברהם משה לעילוי נשמת הש"ץ020 8349 0321 [email protected] www.ogrstockdenton.com With best wishes THIS PAGE HAS BEEN KINDLY SPONSORED Did he? In the entire episode of Eisav and Yaakov growing up in the house of Yitzchak Avinu culminating in the brachos ‘taken’ by Yaakov – nothing is more perplexing than the passuk: “And Yitzchak loved Eisav for ‘game’ was in his mouth, and Rivkah loved Yaakov.” Was Yitzchak really in the dark over who Eisav was? According to the Midrash, Eisav was involved in Gilui Arayos, Shefichus Damim and Avoda Zarah (see Rashi and Midrash on 25:29) – he was an unmitigated rasha! Why did Yitzchak wish to convey the brachos of Avraham his father to Eisav? Why didn’t Rivkah give her husband a ‘reality check’ – she seems to have known the truth. We find many approaches in Chazal to these questions, and what I find amazing about the lives of the Avos, is that each approach to probing a little beneath the superficial gives us (or at least me) tremendous insight into human nature. Rashi – “Kedushah of Yitzchak” Ki tzayid bepiv” ‘Game was in his mouth’ – Midrash Tanchuma Toldos #8 (quoted by Rashi): “Eisav would come back from the field and ask his father ‘How does one take ma’aser for salt’. It seems from this, that Yitzchak was beguiled by Eisav’s pretense of being ‘holier than necessary’. The fact that Eisav excelled in the mitzvah of Kibud Av (Bava Metzia 87a), only helps us to see that in fact Yitzchak may have been misled by Yitzchak. (Which is undone when Yitzchak realises ultimately that the rightful brachos went to Yaakov – see 27:33, and midrash quoted by The Stone Chumash.) “And when Yitzchak became old, his eyes were dimmed… (27:1)” – ‘Rashi: The tears of the malachim at the Akeidah fell into Yitzchak’s eyes and dimmed them (paraphrase).’ Clearly, this midrash is not literal for a host of reasons (some brought to attention by members of the shul!) – and is to be understood that through the Akeidah, Yitzchak reached a level of total kedushah which semi-detatched him from this world. “The ashes of Yitzchak still remain atop the mountain” (Rashi 22:14). This made it impossible for Yitzchak to identify Eisav’s true nature. Netziv – (HA’AMEK DAVAR 24:65) – “Awesome Relationships” “And Rivkah lifted her Eyes, and she saw Yitzchak, and she fell off her camel…and she took her veil and covered herself”. The Netziv understands the entire ‘first encounter’ between Yitzchak and Rivkah (at the end of Chayei Sarah), was purely to lay ground for the brachos to be directed towards Yaakov: “From this moment on [Rivkah] was in awe of [Yitzchak], and her relationship with Yitzchak was not like that of Avraham and Sarah, or Rachel with Yaakov – where whenever they had some disagreement they would speak freely and with passion – this would never be the case with Rivakah [and Yitzchak]…. Rivkah never had the heart to confront Yitzchak and share her opinion about Eisav, where she understood the truth about “Ki tzayid bepiv”. This was all hashgachah so that things would turn out the way Hashem wanted them to….” Here too, the Netsiv understands that Yitzchak was never privy to Eisav’s true nature – and only because the relationship between Yitzchak and Rivkah was one of awe, rather than camaraderie. I find this to be incredible; that the Avos had different forms of relationship with each other! Sfas Emes – “Yissachar and Zevulun” “The original plan was for Eisav to tend to material matters in an honest and scrupulous fashion, while Yaakov would tend to spiritual matters. They would enjoy a partnership akin to that of Yissachar and Zevulun in which each would be supportive of the other, and a world leader in his own right. Only once Eisav abandoned his responsibilities was Yaakov saddled with both sets of responsibility.” Yitzchak knew only too well that Yaakov was the “Dweller of Tents”, and that he would be a true continuation of the mesorah of Avraham Avinu – yet what about Eisav? Yitzchak would give him the brachah of “Mital hashamayim u’mishmanei ha’aretz”, that Eisav should combine his natural tendancies of “aretz” and focus them towards spiritual ends “Shamayim” [Famously, The Vilna Gaon in Aderes Eliyahu Beraishis 1:1 shows that “eretz” comes from the word “ratz” (to run), and “Shamayim” comes from the word “sham” (there) – that all ‘earthly’ objects are “means” (running towards something), and all ‘Heavenly’ objects are the “ends” (there)]. Here Yitzchak is blessing the person he believes to be Eisav “From the dew of the Shamayim, and from the fats of the eretz” – hoping that he bring eretz to Shamayim.] But of course, Yitzchak doesn’t realise how far gone Eisav really is…. Ultimately – whether Yitzchak knew Eisav’s true nature, we will never know – but what we do gain from these understandings is (a) Yitzchak’s life in this world as totally removed, unlike Avraham or Yaakov (b) Yitzchak and Rivkah’s relationship as different to the other Avos and Imahos (c) The ideal is “Bechol derachecha da’eihu” – to use our unique abilities for the sake of Klal Yisrael. Good Shabbos. SPONSOR THIS SPACE email [email protected] for details OnegShabbos North West London's Weekly Torah and Opinion Sheets For Questions on Divrei Torah or articles, to receive this via email or for sponsorship opportunities please email [email protected] בס"דNow in Yerushalayim, Antwerp, Baltimore, Bet Shemesh, Borehamwood, Chile, Cyprus, Edgware, Elstree, Gibraltar, Hale, Holland, Hong Kong, Ilford, Johannesburg, Las Vegas, London, Los Angeles, Manchester, Melbourne, Miami, New York, Petach Tikva, Philadelphia, Radlett, Toronto, Vienna, Zurich 14th November '15 ו" תשע כסלו' ב פרשת תולדות מוצש’’קLONDON: 5.07pm נרות הדלקתLONDON: 3.59pm

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Transcript of Oneg Toldos

Page 1: Oneg Toldos

?? Quiz Time??Answers can be found on back page | http://livingwithmitzvos.com/

1. What is the significance of Yaakov and Eisav being twins?

PAR

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AHTOLDOS - DID YITZCHAK NOT KNOW ABOUT

THE TRUE NATURE OF EISAV?Rabbi Shmuel KimcheRabbi at Yeshivat Reishit Yershalayim

K I N D L Y S P O N S O R E D לעילוי נשמת הש"ץ שלמה בן אברהם משה ז"ל לעילוי נשמת חנה בת אלעזר ע"ה

020 8349 0321 [email protected] www.ogrstockdenton.com

With best wishes

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Did he? In the entire episode of Eisav and Yaakov growing up in the house of Yitzchak Avinu culminating in the brachos ‘taken’ by Yaakov – nothing is more perplexing than the passuk:

“And Yitzchak loved Eisav for ‘game’ was in his mouth, and Rivkah loved Yaakov.”

Was Yitzchak really in the dark over who Eisav was? According to the Midrash, Eisav was involved in Gilui Arayos, Shefichus Damim and Avoda Zarah (see Rashi and Midrash on 25:29) – he was an unmitigated rasha! Why did Yitzchak wish to convey the brachos of Avraham his father to Eisav? Why didn’t Rivkah give her husband a

‘reality check’ – she seems to have known the truth.We find many approaches in Chazal to these questions, and what I find amazing about the lives of the Avos, is that each approach to probing a little beneath the superficial gives us (or at least me) tremendous insight into human nature.

Rashi – “Kedushah of Yitzchak”

“Ki tzayid bepiv” ‘Game was in his mouth’ – Midrash Tanchuma Toldos #8 (quoted by Rashi): “Eisav would come back from the field and ask his father ‘How does one take ma’aser for salt’. It seems from this, that Yitzchak was beguiled by Eisav’s pretense of being ‘holier than

necessary’. The fact that Eisav excelled in the mitzvah of Kibud Av (Bava Metzia 87a), only helps us to see that in fact Yitzchak may have been misled by Yitzchak. (Which is undone when Yitzchak realises ultimately that the rightful brachos went to Yaakov – see 27:33, and midrash quoted by The Stone Chumash.)

“And when Yitzchak became old, his eyes were dimmed… (27:1)” – ‘Rashi: The tears of the malachim at the Akeidah fell into Yitzchak’s eyes and dimmed them (paraphrase).’ Clearly, this midrash is not literal for a host of reasons (some brought to attention by members of the shul!) – and is to be understood that through the Akeidah, Yitzchak reached a level of total kedushah which semi-detatched him from this world. “The ashes of Yitzchak still remain atop the mountain” (Rashi 22:14). This made it impossible for Yitzchak to identify Eisav’s true nature.

Netziv – (HA’AMEK DAVAR 24:65) – “Awesome Relationships”

“And Rivkah lifted her Eyes, and she saw Yitzchak, and she fell off her camel…and she took her veil and covered herself”. The Netziv understands the entire ‘first encounter’ between Yitzchak and Rivkah (at the end of Chayei Sarah), was purely to lay ground for the brachos to be directed towards Yaakov: “From this moment on [Rivkah] was in awe of [Yitzchak], and her relationship with Yitzchak was not like that of Avraham and Sarah, or Rachel with Yaakov

– where whenever they had some disagreement they would speak freely and with passion – this would never be the case with Rivakah [and Yitzchak]…. Rivkah never had the heart to confront Yitzchak and share her opinion about Eisav, where she understood the truth about “Ki tzayid bepiv”. This was all hashgachah so that things would turn out the way Hashem wanted them to….”Here too, the Netsiv understands that Yitzchak was never privy to Eisav’s true nature – and only because the relationship between Yitzchak and Rivkah was one of awe,

rather than camaraderie. I find this to be incredible; that the Avos had different forms of relationship with each other!

Sfas Emes – “Yissachar and Zevulun”

“The original plan was for Eisav to tend to material matters in an honest and scrupulous fashion, while Yaakov would tend to spiritual matters. They would enjoy a partnership akin to that of Yissachar and Zevulun in which each would be supportive of the other, and a world leader in his own right. Only once Eisav abandoned his responsibilities was Yaakov saddled with both sets of responsibility.”Yitzchak knew only too well that Yaakov was the “Dweller of Tents”, and that he would be a true continuation of the mesorah of Avraham Avinu – yet what about Eisav? Yitzchak would give him the brachah of “Mital hashamayim u’mishmanei ha’aretz”, that Eisav should combine his natural tendancies of “aretz” and focus them towards spiritual ends “Shamayim” [Famously, The Vilna Gaon in Aderes Eliyahu Beraishis 1:1 shows that “eretz” comes from the word “ratz” (to run), and “Shamayim” comes from the word “sham” (there) – that all ‘earthly’ objects are “means” (running towards something), and all

‘Heavenly’ objects are the “ends” (there)]. Here Yitzchak is blessing the person he believes to be Eisav “From the dew of the Shamayim, and from the fats of the eretz” – hoping that he bring eretz to Shamayim.] But of course, Yitzchak doesn’t realise how far gone Eisav really is….Ultimately – whether Yitzchak knew Eisav’s true nature, we will never know – but what we do gain from these understandings is (a) Yitzchak’s life in this world as totally removed, unlike Avraham or Yaakov (b) Yitzchak and Rivkah’s relationship as different to the other Avos and Imahos (c) The ideal is “Bechol derachecha da’eihu” – to use our unique abilities for the sake of Klal Yisrael. Good Shabbos.

SPONSOR THIS SPACE email [email protected] for details

OnegShabbosNorth West London's Weekly Torah and Opinion Sheets

For Questions on Divrei Torah or articles, to receive this via email or for sponsorship opportunities please email [email protected]

בס"ד

Now in Yerushalayim, Antwerp, Baltimore, Bet Shemesh, Borehamwood, Chile, Cyprus, Edgware, Elstree, Gibraltar, Hale, Holland, Hong Kong, Ilford, Johannesburg, Las Vegas, London, Los Angeles, Manchester, Melbourne, Miami, New York, Petach Tikva, Philadelphia, Radlett, Toronto, Vienna, Zurich

14th November '15 ב' כסלו תשע"ו

פרשת תולדות

מוצש’’קLONDON: 5.07pm

הדלקת נרותLONDON: 3.59pm

Page 2: Oneg Toldos

?? Quiz Time??Answers can be found on back page | http://livingwithmitzvos.com/

2. Rashi (25:22) brings that Eis av, whilst still in the womb, ‘pushed out’ when his mother passed places of idol worship. How could he do that when we hold that the evil inclination only comes to a person after they are born?

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מרת צפורה בת יעקב ע"ה

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AHALL FOR ONE OR ONE FOR ALL?

Doniel LevyAtid, Gibraltar

The episode of the brachos in this week’s parshah opens a Pandora’s box of difficult questions. Firstly, looking at the reasoning of the Avos (to the extent that we can) :Didn’t Yitzchak know that his wild, outdoorsy, hunter of a child was a full ben Olam Hazeh (son of This World)? Did he really think Eisav was worthy to lead the next generation of the Jewish people – to be one of the Avos?Why did Rivkah go against her husband and orchestrate Yaakov’s receipt of Eisav’s brachos?How can we explain Yaakov’s deceit, especially when he is held up as the paradigm of truth?1

Secondly, looking at the words that the Torah uses:The word “mat’amim” (tasty foods) is repeated again and again.2 What important role can food play at this pivotal moment in Jewish history?Why is Rivkah doing everything for her son (who is a 63 year old man!3) – getting Eisav’s clothes, making the food, even dressing him?4

When Yaakov voices his concern that his father might expose his fraud, he says “ulai yomosheini avi” (perhaps my father will feel me)5. We would expect him to use the word “pen” (lest) which denotes an undesired outcome.6 Inexplicably, he says “ulai” (perhaps), a wishful expression of optimistic hope7 Does he want to be caught?8

The most dramatic showdowns always get the most attention, and this episode is no exception. But if we want to understand the blessings that Yitzchak is imparting to his sons, it’s important to remember some oft-forgotten brachos in the following perek:

“And Yitzchak called to Yaakov and he blessed him… [Instructions regarding marriage...] And may the G-d of Shakai bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you and you shall become an assembly of peoples. And may He give you the Blessing of Avraham, to you

תתן אמת ליעקב 1 ד ועשה-לי מטעמים כאשר אהבתי... ז... ועשה-לי מטעמים... ט ואעשה 2

אתם מטעמים ...יד ותעש אמו מטעמים... יז ותתן את-המטעמים ואת-...הלחם... לא ויעש גם-הוא מטעמים

3 See Rashi on Bereishis 28:9 ותקח רבקה את-בגדי עשו ... ותלבש את-יעקב... הלבישה, על-ידיו... יז 4

...ותתן את-המטעמים ואת-הלחם, אשר עשתה5 “…and I will appear to him as a deceiver and I will bring a

curse upon myself and not a blessing” (28:12) פן תשכח את הדברים אשר ראו עיניך ופן יסורו מלבבך... / פן יפתה לבבכם 6

...וסרתם...אולי יש חמשים צדיקם... / אולי אבנה ממנה 78 I heard this question, and some other aspects of the

mehalech presented here, from my mashgiach (KBY), Rabbi Avraham Rivlin, shlita

and to your seed with you, so that you inherit the land of your sojournings, which G-d gave to Avraham.”9

Yitzchak there definitively bestows upon Yaakov the “Birkas Avraham” and the entire spiritual kingdom that goes with this (including Eretz Yisrael). Those things are never mentioned in the blessing he gives to (the son he thinks is) Eisav. These brachos are decidedly different:

“And may G-d give you from the dew of the Heavens and from the fatness of the earth and an abundance of grain and wine. Nations shall serve you and shall bow down to you. You shall be a master over your brothers and your mother’s sons shall bow down to you. Those who cursed you shall be cursed and those who blessed you shall be blessed.”10 We see tools to running a very different kind of empire being provided here. And this, in fact, is the key.Yitzchak and Rivkah hold divergent views about the next step in Jewish history. In a nutshell, this is it:Yitzchak wants to split the roles - and therefore the blessings - into two: gashmi (physical) and ruchani (spiritual). He sees a partnership between Yaakov and Eisav (similar to Yissachar and Zevulun11). Yaakov will build Olam Habah and Eisav will aid him using Olam Hazeh.Rivkah wants to keep the two blessings together: they are a single unit, not to be split, and Eisav therefore has no part to play.It is well known that each of the Avos embodied a middah (character trait).12 Avraham (Chessed/Kindness), the outpouring of self and love, cares for others and uses everything in this world to serve Hashem. Yitzchak (Gevurah/Inner-strength), exemplifies inner work, self-restraint, self-annulment; a withdrawal from this world. Yaakov, (Emes/Truth) is a centralisation or “harmony” (Tiferes) of these opposing forces. This series, like all such triplets in Judaism, are a form of thesis, antithesis and synthesis.13 Each of the Avos was tested with challenges that demanded them to serve HaShem in a manner diametrically opposed to their “nature”.14 For example, Avraham had to abandon his aging father, banish his son, and kill Yitzchak. For Yaakov, deceit and underhandedness were demanded. Yaakov is physically repulsed by Rivkah’s plan. Lying is the antithesis of his essence and everything he stands for. An unwilling participant, it requires a herculean effort15 to bring himself to sheker (falsehood)

9 28:1-410 27:28-2911 See Devarim 33:18 and Rashi ad loc12 This mehalech can be found in Rabbi Dessler’s writings and

many writers for the Oneg have previously elaborated on this.13 First coined (I believe) in relation to the Avos by Rabbi Dovid

Roberts (applying the Hegelian dialectic)14 See Emes L’Yaakov 27:12 (Rabbi Yaakov Kaminetsky)15 L’havdil: please excuse the expression

and Rivkah must act for him. He subconsciously even wants to be discovered (“ulai”) so that plan fails and the lie is unsuccessful.To counterbalance their powerful middos, the Avos each married an ezer k’negdo (“opposite helper”) with a complementary (read: opposite) middah. Avraham’s overwhelming chessed is offset by Sarah’s severe gevurah16; Yizchak’s intense Gevurah is regulated by Rivkah’s kindness.17 Yaakov, as a synthesis, must marry two women (Rachel-Chessed and Leah-Gevurah).Through their middos, we can understand Yitzchak and Rivkah’s approach to the solo or dual paths they envisioned for their son(s) and the fledgling Jewish nation.Yitzchak, true to his middah, understood that his

“yoshev ohalim” son18 would carry the spiritual weight of Torah: hence his giving Yaakov the “Birkas Avraham”. But as an ish Gevurah who shuns worldly trappings, Yitzchak doesn’t see Yaakov’s need for Olam Hazeh. Eisav, however, is a “man who understands hunting; a man of the field”.19 He knows how to utilise Olam Hazeh to serve Hashem. The master in kibbud av (honouring parents) excels at deploying his hunting skills to serve his father with choice game. Unlike Yaakov’s spiritual mission, for Eisav to dominate Olam Hazeh he would require an armoury of physical blessings, including dew, grain, wine and physical strength. And Eisav’s hunting skills, being deployed here for the sake of a mitzvah, have never been more important than now, his moment to showcase his ability to harness the physical world for the good, thereby demonstrating his worthiness for this role. Hence the repetition of “tasty foods”.Rivkah fundamentally disagreed with this approach. For a person of chessed, there is no difference between the physical and the spiritual: a tzaddik needs it all to serve Hashem. Avraham running around his great estate to serve guests with expensive meat and fine foods is a clear example of this. He, too, needed wealth, servants and animals to serve Hashem. Rivkah saw that Yaakov, similarly, would require all these blessings of Olam Hazeh - in addition to Olam Habah. She therefore had to keep the brachos together, and did whatever it took to make that happen.20

16 Seen, for example, in evicting Hagar and Yishmael 17 Seen at the wells18 See 25:27. Literally “tent living” – a reference to Yaakov’s

Torah learning.(ibid) איש ידע ציד, איש שדה 1920 Space prohibits further exploration, but to gain fascinating

insight into Rivkah’s reasons for keeping both her nevuah and this plan secret from Yaakov, see Ramban on 27:4 Chizkuni on 25:27, and Netziv on 24:64-65.

The Oneg Shabbos wishes

mazal tov on its launch in Gibraltar this week and hatzlacha rabba for its “Future”!

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3. When during the year did the blessings of Yitzchak take place?

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PARSHAS TOLDOS - THE MOTHER OF YAAKOV AND EISAV

Rabbi Alan LewisYeshurun Edgware

“And Yitzchak sent Yaakov, and he went to Padan Aram to Lavan the son of Besuel the Arami, the brother of Rivkah, the mother of Yaakov and Eisav” (Bereishis 28:5)

Rashi, puzzled by the fact that the Torah graphically describes how these twins, Yaakov and Eisav, were born to Yitzchak and Rivkah at the beginning of the parsha, comments that he does not know what the above verse comes to teach us at the end of the parsha. The Divrei Yosher asks, why is the Torah revealing this fact here, that Rivkah is the mother of Yaakov and Eisav?

The emphasis of the way Yaakov served the Ribono shel Olam was completely different to the way Avraham and Yitzchak served Hashem. When Avraham was given the commandment of ‘lech lecha me’artzecha

- go for yourself from your land’ – the Midrash describes how he was told to forget his family and the people he was connected to in his country. He had to separate himself totally from his old world, in order for his name to become great and reach the pinnacles of human dignity. Hence he was called Avraham Ha-Ivri because the whole world was on one side with its philosophy on life and he was completely on the other side with his view on life. Ultimately through this process of separation Avraham would be in a position to teach the knowledge of Hashem to the entire world so that everyone would recognise the oneness of Hashem.

We also find very similar movements of major disconnection that were necessary for Yitzchak’s service of G-d. For, as soon as Sarah saw Yishmael dabbling into idol worship, promiscuity and murder, Sarah told Avraham to banish Yishmael from the house in order that he should not have a negative influence upon Yitzchak. Hakodosh Boruch Hu agreed to her plan since it would have been impossible for Yitzchak to reach the greatest heights of spiritual inspiration and sanctity with such a disturbing influence around him. These heights of holiness could only be achieved by separating Yitzchak from the corruption that was in his proximity.

Yaakov’s approach to serving Hashem was firstly predicated by being sent away to a wicked place. Yaakov’s challenge was to be placed in evil surroundings and yet have the strength of character to withstand the pervasive evil influence around him. The degree of achievement in accomplishing this mission was hinted to in the message which Yaakov sent to Eisav on his return to Eretz Yisroel with the words, ‘Im Lavan garti

– with Lavan I lived’. Rashi famously explains that the word ‘garti’ is an anagram of the number 613 – תרי‘‘ג. Yaakov was hinting to Eisav that in spite of living under the same roof as their uncle Lavan he had not been assuaged by Lavan’s pernicious evil, to the extent that he had been able to keep all of G-d’s 613 commandments in total perfection.

Similarly the Torah itself testifies to this supreme effort of Yaakov when it describes how when he came to the city of Shechem he was in a state of perfection. ‘Vayavo Yaakov shalem ir Shechem.’ Chazal tell us

that this shalem – ‘perfection’ was in the Torah that Yaakov adhered to assiduously without ever succumbing to the constant struggles against the evils that surrounded him for so many years. In truth this approach to serving his Master was a preparation for his children for when they would be led into exile and would have to live in the very many negative environments of the nations of the world. This challenge of inner strength that the people of Israel required was in order that we would not to be influenced by cultures which were the antithesis of the scales of values and morals of the Jewish way of life.

The Divrei Yosher asks, where did Yaakov derive this special quality of willpower not to be persuaded to conform to the world around him while actually living in that world?

The Midrash explains that the verse at the beginning of the Parsha, ‘and Yitzchak was 40 when he took Rivkah the daughter of Besuel the Aramean’, is coming to teach that Rivkah’s father and brother were both tricksters par-excellence along with the citizens of their locality. However Rivkah was and always remained as a righteous individual, literally a ‘rose amongst the thorns’. The Midrash is informing us that Rivkah possessed this great inner strength not to be influenced by her surroundings even though she had grown up in a family and place of wicked people. It was this great character trait that enabled her to retain her righteousness.

It appears therefore that it was this particular trait of Rivkah that was passed on to Yaakov so that he would have the inner resolve to remain true to his Torah convictions in the house of his uncle and this would prepare the pathway for his descendants to survive the onslaught of such punishing exiles in Jewish history.

In reality this ability not to be influenced by the people who surround you was also inherited by Eisav since he used it to grow and maintain a level of wickedness, in spite of the fact that he was brought up in a home that was surrounded by unparalleled levels of righteousness.

According to this reasoning we can now shed light on the difficulty in the verse at the end of our parsha, ‘and Yitzchak sent Yaakov and he went to Padan Aram to Lavan the son of Besuel the Aremean the brother of Rivkah, mother of Yaakov and Eisav’. Rivkah had such inner willpower not to be influenced by her evil brother and father that she bequeathed this special quality of non- conformity, as the mother to Yaakov and Eisav, on to her two sons. Yaakov used it for growing in righteousness and Torah even in an environment that was so alien to this dignified approach to life and unfortunately Eisav used it to perpetuate evil and paranoia. It was now on the verge of leaving the rarified spiritual environment of his parents for the depravities of his uncle’s home that Yaakov needed to bring to the fore his mother’s special qualities of the power of non-conformity.

This personality trait of being able to resist the powerful influence of a negative environment that stunts spiritual growth and the spread of human dignity comes from our mother Rivkah and her son Yaakov. This was all divinely guided by the hand of Hashem so that their children and all their subsequent generations would rise to the challenge of coping with the pernicious influences of millennia in exile.

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4. What are the two reasons why Yaakov left home at the end of the parshah?

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AHINSIGHTS IN RASHI – TOLDOS – EISAV’S

POTENTIAL

Rabbi Yehonoson GefenRabbi for Keter HaTorah

RASHI, BEREISHIS, 25:22, SV. And [the

children] crushed: When she would

pass by entrances of places of Torah

study of Shem and Ever, Yaakov would

run and toss about to go out of his

[mother]…when she would pass by

entrances of idol worship Eisav would

toss about to go out…

In the previous Dvar Torah we discussed a problem involving Yaakov’s

behavior as an unborn child. That of Eisav is equally troubling: The

Midrash quoted by Rashi seems to imply that Eisav was evil even before

he was born. The commentaries point out a problem with this Midrash1;

they bring sources that the yetzer hara only enters a person from the time

he was born, yet according to this Midrash Eisav already seemed to have

a strong yetzer hara even in utero!

Rav Nosson Weiss, shlita, answers this by closely analyzing Rashi’s

words – he only says that Eisav wanted to go towards the places of idol

worship, but he does not say what Eisav wanted to do there. This means

that Eisav had an inborn inclination towards places of evil, yet it would

be up to him when he grew up to use that inclination in a constructive

way. The most obvious positive way that he could do this would be to

destroy such places, rather than be spiritually destroyed by them. Thus,

we see that Eisav was not evil from the beginning, rather he had a natural

leaning which could be used for the good or for the bad.

Indeed, a careful analysis of the Rabbinic sources describing Eisav’s

early life demonstrates that Eisav did indeed possess great ability in

1 Gur Aryeh, Bereishis, 25:22. He quotes the passuk in Bereishis, 4:7, that describes the yetzer hara: “Sin crouches at the opening”, ‘at the opening’ refers to the time when the baby enters the world.

fighting evil. The Torah describes the young Eisav as a “man, who knew

how to trap”.2 The Midrash says that one interpretation of these words

is that he would trap criminals with his mouth; they would deny their

involvement in a crime and he would trick them into admitting the truth.3

The Targum Yonasan on the same verse makes an even more dramatic

revelation – that Eisav actually killed the leader of the idol worshippers:

Nimrod. Thus he evidently had a talent in destroying evil.

Had Eisav continued applying his natural attraction to evil positively

he could surely have achieved greatness and fulfilled the role that Yitzchak

desired for him. However, instead, he allowed himself to be overcome by

the immorality that he encountered and degenerated into an evildoer of

the worst kind. The Midrash tells us that a very different character in

Tanach shared a similar mazal (inclination) to Eisav – the great David

HaMelech. When Hashem sent Shmuel HaNavi to anoint David as King,

Shmuel saw that David had a red complexion. The colour red represents

an inclination to kill, and when Shmuel saw that David had this learning

he feared that he would be a murderer like Eisav. Hashem reassured him

that David would apply this inclination in the correct way and use it to kill

only when halachah so dictates. Indeed David killed numerous enemies

of Klal Yisrael.4

We have seen how Eisav’s natural leaning towards evil did not mean

that it was inevitable that he would be an sinful person, but that when

he grew up he applied his free will in the wrong way. This teaches an

important lesson with regards to how a person develops his character

traits. Every trait can be applied in a positive or negative way; one can

choose to use this trait for selfish reasons or he can channel it in a

positive way to perform Hashem’s will.

L’ilui nishmas Hakedoshei Yerushalayim

2 Bereishis, 25:27.3 Bereishis Rabbah, 63:10.4 Bereishis Rabbah, 63:11.

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5. Which passuk in Parshas Toldos tells us the power special to Yaakov and to Eisav?

S P O N S O R E D

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5

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AHDON’T DISGRACE - EMBRACE!

Rabbi Dov Ber CowenJLE

“..And he ate and he drank, got up and left; thus Eisav disgraced the birthright.” Bereishis 25:34

We all carry with us the kindergarten image of the hairy brute

Eisav, sweating and grunting, exhausted from a full day of violent and

murderous activity, demanding to be fed the red soup that this brother

was cooking, lest he expire on the spot. What more of a disgrace can

there be than using the right of the firstborn, with all its spiritual and

physical stature, to buy a moment of transitory pleasure.

This is how most of us understand this interaction of the twin brothers,

however Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, had a fascinating perspective on

this episode that radically changes the way we see this epic moment in

our history.

The Ramban tells us that before the Torah gave the firstborn a double

portion, the significance of this position was not in the percentage of

the inheritance but rather in the stature of being the head of the family.

Furthermore, Rashi explains that the dialogue between Eisav and Yaakov

was really surrounding the role of the bechor as the “Kohen” as was the

case before the Chet Ha’Egel which saw the tribe of Levi take that role

from the firstborns. Yaakov could not fathom the idea that Eisav would

be the one to serve Hashem as the Kohen of his day and therefore took

advantage of the situation to acquire it from him.

However, before deciding to sell this “right,” Eisav says to his brother,

“Look, I am going to die, so what use to me is the birthright?”

On this point Rashi tells us that Eisav was asking Yaakov – “Ma tiva

shel ha’avodah zo?” - “What is the ‘job description’ of this bechor role?”

Before making his decision, Eisav felt the need to inquire, possibly for

the first time in his life, about the responsibilities and privileges of the

birthright. If he was going to sell this commodity then at least he should

know what he was giving up.

According to Rashi, Yaakov answered by listing the myriad

prohibitions associated with Avodas Hakodesh and gave Eisav the “health

warning” that if he would continue to maintain his current bloodthirsty

and licentious lifestyle whilst serving as the “Kohen” of his time, his

tenure would not be a long one as he would surely die.

Eisav says to himself – Hinei ani holech lamus al yadah – This role will

surely kill me. It carries such huge weight and responsibility. It is beyond

my means to be able to fulfil the role. There is no way that I can do it.

And with that “Va’yochal, va’yesht, va’yakom, vaielech, vayivez Eisav es

habechorah” – “And he ate and he drank and he got up and he left, and

Eisav disgraced the birthright.”

Rabbi Feinstein said, when we analyse the Rashi quoted above, it

seems that in reality, Eisav did not disgrace the bechorah - rather, Eisav

truly valued the bechorah. He valued it so much that he felt that he,

personally, was unworthy of it.

Eisav should have said - I see the challenges here - I see the difficulties

and I feel inadequate for the job. But if that is a role Hashem has given

me then with Hashem’s help I can rise to the challenge! I’m going to

become worthy.

According to Rav Moshe, the true bizayon (disgrace) was the notion

that Eisav felt that he was unable to live up to the role that Hashem had

given him. Eisav’s feelings of inadequacy completely overlooked the fact

that if Hashem had given him the challenge by making him the firstborn

then he would also surely give him all the tools he needed to be able to

stand up to the challenge.

Rav Moshe would tell this to his students as a reminder that when life

brings opportunities of growth, of potential for influence, or leadership,

and you feel inadequate, you need to remember that Hashem has put you

in that situation and will also give you the siyatta di’shamaya to succeed.

Together with the challenges come the abilities. The reality is that all too

often we believe our doubts and doubt our beliefs.

Rav Moshe’s message is powerful and all too timely. We can never

forget that all our skills, talents and opportunities are given by Hashem

for the purpose of impacting His world. Whether it is a situation of

leadership, parenthood or even in the daily interactions of work or

school we can never forget that if we have been chosen for a role then

we have the latent ability deep within. For any Jew to think that they are

inadequate to fulfill their role in this world is the ultimate bizayon.

May we blessed to have the strength to doubt our doubts, believe our

beliefs and push on - unlike Eisav, embracing, rather than disgracing, the

latent power that lies within each of us.

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6. When do we say the brachos of Yitzchak and why?

S P O N S O R E D

NO FONE FURSDAY!Not touching your phone throughout Shacharis on Thursday mornings.Can you handheld that? 0800-613-HANDLE-IT?

6

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HBLESSINGS

Dayan Elimelech VanzettaRav of the Orthodox Jewish Community of Chile. Resident of Edgware. Former Secretary General of the Conference of European Rabbis. European Director of 70 days for 70 years

A Hundred Blessings a Day - Part IILast week the reasons behind the decree to recite one hundred

blessings a day and its sources in halachah were analyzed. A descriptive

table describing blessings normally recited during weekdays and on

Shabbos was also provided.

This week we will outline blessings which are mandated by halachah

and recited over Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur and the Shalosh Regalim

according to both Ashkenazi and Sephardic Customs.

BLESSING ROSH HASHANAH (1ST DAY)

ROSH HASHANAH (2ND DAY)

YOM KIPPUR

Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash.

Netilas Yadayim 1 1 1 1 1 1Asher Yatzar 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos HaShachar 16 16 16 16 15 151

Birchos HaTorah2 3 3 3 3 3 3Brachah on Tallis 1 1 1 1 1 1Baruch SheAmar 1 1 1 1 1 1Yishtabach 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos Shemah3 7 7 7 7 7 7Sh’moneh Esrey4 30 30 30 30 35 35Birkas HaMapil - 1 - 1 - 1Night Kiddush5 2 2 26 26 - -Day Kiddush 1 1 1 1 - -Blessings pertaining to two Yom Tov meals

12 12 12 12 - -

Shehecheyanu over night Kiddush

1 1 1 1 - -

Brochah on the Shofar 1 1 1 1 - -Shehecheyanu on the Shofar7

1 1 - 1 - -

Birkas HaEitz (over the simanim)

1 1 18 18 - -

Total 80 81 79 81 65 66

BLESSING PESACH (1ST DAY)

PESACH (2ND DAY)

PESACH (7TH/8TH DAYS)

SHAVUOS (1ST/2ND DAYS)

Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash.

Netilas Yadayim 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Asher Yatzar 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos HaShachar

16 16 16 16 16 16 16 16

Birchos HaTorah2 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3Brachah on Tallis 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Baruch SheAmar 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Yishtabach 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos Shemah3 7 7 7 7 7 7 7 7Sh’moneh Esrey4 28 28 28 28 28 28 28 28Hallel 2 2 2 2 - 2 2 2Night Kiddush5 26 26 26 26 26 26 26 26

Day Kiddush 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1Blessings pertaining to two Yom Tov meals

12 12 12 12 12 12 12 12

Birkas HaMapil - 1 - 1 - 1 - 1

BLESSING PESACH (1ST DAY)

PESACH (2ND DAY)

PESACH (7TH/8TH DAYS)

SHAVUOS (1ST/2ND DAYS)

Shehecheyanu over night Kiddush

1 1 1 1 - - 1 1

Sefiras HaOmer - - 1 1 1 1 - -Four cups of wine during the Seder

1 3 1 3 - - - -

Hagadah 2 2 2 2 - - - -Al Achilas Matzah

1 1 1 1 - - - -

Al Achilas Moror 1 1 1 1 - - - -Me’ein Shalosh (after Brachah for the 4th cup of wine)

1 1 1 1 - - - -

Hallel (during Ma’ariv)9

1 1 1 1 - - - -

Total 84 87 85 88 75 78 77 78

BLESSING SUKKOS (1ST DAY)

SUKKOS (2ND DAY) SH’MINI ATZERES (1ST/2ND DAYS)

Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash. Seph. Ash.

Netilas Yadaim 1 1 1 1 1 1Asher Yatzar 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos HaShachar

16 16 16 16 16 16

Birchos HaTorah2 3 3 3 3 3 3Brachah on Tallis 1 1 1 1 1 1Baruch SheAmar 1 1 1 1 1 1Yishtabach 1 1 1 1 1 1Birchos Shemah3 7 7 7 7 7 7Sh’moneh Esrey4 28 28 28 28 28 28Hallel 2 2 2 2 2 2Night Kiddush5 2 2 26 26 26 26

Day Kiddush 1 1 1 1 1 1Blessings pertaining to two Yom Tov meals

12 12 12 12 12 12

Birkas HaMapil - 1 - 1 - 1Shehecheyanu over night Kiddush

1 1 1 1 1 1

Shehecheyanu over Lulav

1 1 - - - -

Blessing over Lulav

1 1 1 1 - -

Birkas Leishev beSukkah

2 2 2 2 - -

Total 81 82 80 81 77 78

Wishing all a Gut Shabbos!______

1 Those who recite the brachah of She’asah li kol tzarki should add another blessing to the total2 Some opine that there are, in fact, only two brachos3 Shacharis and Ma’ariv4 Ma’ariv/Shacharis/Musaf/Minchah/Ne’ilah5 Those who simply hear Kiddush from someone else should drink some wine so as to make this

blessing count towards their calculation6 When the second day of Yom Tov falls on Motzaei Shabbos another two blessings are added7 Ash. say Shehecheyanu on blowing the shofar on both days. Seph. will only say Shehecheyanu on

the second day if the first day fell on Shabbos8 For those who have the custom of doing Simanim on the second night of Rosh HaShanah as well9 For those who follow this minhag

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7. In Parshas Toldos it brings at length the episode of Yitzchak digging up three wells. Why?

S P O N S O R E D

נא להתפלל עבור

נתנאל יהושוע בן צירללרפואה שלמה בקרוב בתוך שאר חולי ישראל

7 BIBLE PERSONALITIES FROM "PEOPLE OF THE BOOK" (2007: TARGUM)

Osher Chaim LeveneOrah

PAR

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AH

Rivkah: The SeparatorSecond of the matriarchs, Rivkah was chosen after demonstrating her superhuman kindness: drawing water from the well for both Avraham’s servant and his camels. Rivkah, who is compared to a “rose in the thorns”,1 exuded a beauty that blossomed in the midst of her despicable, immoral surroundings. Indeed, her virtues jarred with that of her hometown. She left all this behind, following Eliezer to Canaan as Yitzchak’s betrothed.

Immediately upon setting eyes on her future husband, Rivkah modestly covered her face with a veil and fell from her camel.

Yitzchak, after taking her into his mother’s tent, made Rivkah his wife.2 But she was barren – only conceiving years later after husband and wife stormed heaven’s gate in prayer. Suffering unnatural pregnancy pains, she inquired of G-d about her discomfort. She was informed that she was expecting ideologically opposite twins – Eisav and Yaakov – whose respective nations would separate out in the world – their might in a constant state of flux.

Interestingly, Rivkah was the one who masterminded the whole saga of Yitzchak’s deception.

Her daring, manipulative scheme – instructing Yaakov to disguise himself as Eisav with two goats as a meal in place of Eisav’s command to capture game – succeeded. Yitzchak’s blessings went exclusively to Yaakov – thereby averting the spiritual danger of Eisav’s inclusion in shaping the world mission beginning with the Patriarchs and the birth of the Jewish nation. It was only Rivkah’s intervention that frustrated Eisav.

But why was it through her? Why would Rivkah occupy herself in the spiritual showdown between her two sons?

The matriarch’s original selection was portraying the definitive chesed, “kindness”. Endemic to Avraham’s household, kindness was showered upon everyone – “good” and “evil” alike, whether or not the recipients were, in fact, deserving of this benevolence.

But all this changed once Rivkah embraced her position as Yitzchak’s wife.3 Henceforth, she now had to align herself to complement her husband’s opposite trait of din, “judgment”.4 But by its very nature, this calls for the differentiation of “good” and “evil” precluding any grey area. It permits no tolerance or leeway for anything but pure, unadulterated justice.

In fact, the separation of “good” and “evil” would take center stage in all of Rivkah’s pursuits.

Of course, it was the primeval sin of eating from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil which led to the tragic integration of the opposite forces of “good” and “evil”.5 In the Chosen People’s spiritual founding, the patriarchs and matriarchs began the process to reverse the tide.

1 See Bereishis Rabbah 63:4 how the verse “rose in the thorns” (Shir HaShirim 2:2) refers to Rivkah.2 “Rivkah possessed the same form as Sarah” (Zohar 1,133a).3 Rivkah’s birth is intriguingly placed at the conclusion of the akeidah, at the point of Sarah’s death,

whose matriarchal role she would assume. Not only did Yitzchak and Rivkah take the place of Avraham and Sarah, they became them. Hence they assumed the same appearance (Zohar, Chayei Sarah 248).

4 See our essay Yitzchak: The Last Laugh5 See our essay Adam: In the Image of G-d and our essay on Lot: A State of Confusion.

Yishmael’s expulsion and sending away of Keturah’s children were prime examples of divorcing “evil” so that the designated of “good” was only identified with Avraham’s spiritual heir: Yitzchak.

When she saw Yitzchak and his personification of din, Rivkah fell from the camel. No longer could she have any affiliation with this animal, whose features of one kosher and one non-kosher characteristic,6 symbolize the incompatible mixture of “good” and “evil”.7 This was an affront to din whose rules demand the separation of these opposing elements.

Rivkah was greatly distressed as a result of the diametric pull within her womb simultaneously towards “good” and towards “evil” when passing the Torah study-house and a pagan Temple respectively. “Why do I have this?” she exclaimed agitated that the mixture of “good” and “evil” within her contradicted the differentiation of these forces through the din of her husband Yitzchak. Her fear was that this would forestall her holy mission to bear a saintly, “good” forefather of the chosen nation.

Rivkah was pacified with the prophecy that she would bear, not one child, but two children. And that her twins would be the incarnation of their respective diametric opposites: Yaakov vying for “good” and holiness, Eisav opting for “evil” and pursuing a life of wickedness.

Tragically, an alliance of Rivkah’s twins in a potential Yissochor/ Zevulun style relationship failed to materialize. The brothers would not unite to combine the dual goals within the verse “turn away from evil and do good”.8 Eisav, a worldly hunter and man of the field,9 was to have engaged the physical world to wrestle “evil” and build up the “outer” world. His efforts would have supported Yaakov, the “inner” tent-dweller10 to exclusively direct his energies in Torah study and in the intensification of “goodness”. (In his absence, Yaakov now had to assume both their roles.11)

Rivkah clearly realized that they would not join forces. Her childhood exposure to evil, as the “righteous child of the wicked”, sensitized her in the ability of differentiating “good” from “evil”. Neither blinded nor duped by her elder son’s pretense of ‘piety’, her intricate ploy denied Eisav a stake in Avraham’s legacy in establishing the Chosen People “Yisrael” whose worldly mission would be the relentless pursuit of “good” and eradication of “evil” from the world. Her din was to successfully identify and crown her favorite son Yaakov12 as “good” distinguishing him from her “evil” son – Eisav.13 Now the blessings of prosperity had to come to Yaakov by default.

Thus, Rivkah took it upon herself to intervene in their destiny. She successfully separated “good” and “evil” by ensuring that her righteous son took his proper place and mantle as the third Patriarch – his children all being worthy of inclusion in the Jewish nation.

6 The camel is one of four non-kosher animals described by the Torah that exhibit one out the two requisite kosher characteristics: it chews the cud but does not have split hooves (Vayikra 11:4; Devarim 14:7).

7 That Rivkah gave birth to one “good” child and one “evil” is alluded to by the choice of animal that transport her to meet her suitor: the camel (Bereishis Rabbah 60:14). Rivkah’s riding of the camel towards Yitzchak beheld an allusion that, ultimately, her offspring would similarly include one “kosher”, righteous son and one “non-kosher” wicked son. The mystical sources note that the serpent that schemed eating from the Tree of Knowledge of “Good” and “Evil” cunningly appeared in the guise of a camel. (See also Zohar 2, 236a). The Arizal says that Rivkah riding on a camel is an allusion to the serpent in the Garden of Eden.

8 Tehillim 34:159 Bereishis 25:2710 Bereishis 25:2711 See our essay on Yaakov: The Whole Truth.12 See Bereishis 25:28 and Bereishis Rabbah 63:10. 13 The two Trees at the center of the Garden of Eden (which originated from the same root) parallel

Rivkah’s twins: Yaakov corresponds to the Tree of Life, Eisav to the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. Yaakov and his descendants are entrusted with rectifying the damage of eating from the Tree of Knowledge, and with later partaking of the Tree of Life (Shem MiShmuel, Vayetze 5679).

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Quiz Time Answers1 Twins represents the idea of partners who work together. The mazal for the month of Sivan is Teumim, twins, and represents unity as seen in that month of Matan Torah. The partnership here should have been like Yissochor and Zevulun with Eisav working in this physical world to help support Yaakov with his spiritual pursuits.

2 The Gur Aryeh answers that this push to evil was not because of his evil inclination but was because of his evil nature that naturally was drawn to these places.3 Rashi (27:9) implies that this took place on Pesach and therefore Yitzchak asked for two goats. However, in some Rosh Hashanah machzorim before the blowing of the shofar they quote a Zohar that says these blessings took place on Rosh Hashanah.

4 Yaakov left as instructed by his father to go and look for a wife. However, the reason why his mother wanted him to go away was because she was scared that Eisav would try and kill him for taking away his brachos.5 (27:22) “Hakol hol Yaakov, vehayadayim yedei Eisav” – the power of the Jews is in speech, specifically tefillah, while the power of Eisav is in action, by the sword.6 We say it every Motzaei Shabbos and it starts the compilation of all other brachos elsewhere in the Torah. Perhaps simply because it is the first one chronologically or perhaps it is like the root and source for all the other blessings to follow on.

7 The Ramban (26:20) explains that the Torah is hiding an allusion to the two Batei Mikdosh that were destroyed by the other nations while the third alludes to the future Beis Hamikdash where there will no longer be any interference with by the other nations, may it be speedily built in our days.http://livingwithmitzvos.com/

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THE DANGER OF STIGMA

Rabbi Yaakov BarrMSc (CBT), Pg Dip, BABCP (accred) Psychotherapist in private practice in London specialising in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy

Please could you ensure that there are ample sheets left in shuls for Shabbos before taking one home -as there have been few left in shuls.

This newsletter contains Divrei Torah and may contain Sheimos - please dispose of accordingly.If your shul has any leftover Oneg Machzor Companions please contact [email protected] to request a pickup

We deny its existence, ignore its relevance and dismiss its importance. Welcome to the world of mental health.

But the statistics demonstrating the enormity of the problem make for stark reading and demand our attention. A quarter of the world’s population suffer from a mental health condition at any one time. Yet the reality is that although there has been a big drive to increase greater awareness and to reduce the stigma associated with it, the Jewish community as a whole is unfortunately still lagging far behind.

Of course, being a part of a Jewish community means that we are more vulnerable to ‘what the neighbours might say.’ But how far and too what lengths are we willing to go to uphold our pedigree status?

The first time I met Shevi*, it was obvious from her painfully thin frame, that she was suffering from anorexia. Upon hearing my diagnosis, Mr. and Mrs. Goldberg did not seem in the least bit surprised. They had known for many months that she was suffering. Although they suspected that her daughter had an eating disorder they were too scared to take her to a doctor in case he confirmed it. This would result in the possibility of potential humiliation for the family if other people were to find out and this was not a possibility the Goldbergs were willing to risk. It was only after she had confided to a friend that she was planning to do something extreme that her parents made the life-saving decision to enlist professional help.

Sometimes it’s not even the worry that someone might find out that prevents us from seeking help, rather our own shame in acknowledging an emotional weakness and asking for help. This is yet another contributing reason why a staggering two-thirds of people who have mental illness do not seek treatment.

Yiddishkeit has always taught us that we must ensure the health of both the body and the mind. When we say the Mi SheBerach prayer for the sick, we pray for a complete recovery — and further specify a healing of the soul and the body. David Hamelech praises Hashem for being “near to the broken-hearted and saving the crushed in spirit.” (TEHILLIM 34:18) Our strong tradition recognizes a distinction between mental and physical health, but views them equally, recognizing that both are necessary for us to be complete. At the core of our values, is the importance of loving “our friend like oneself” that’s why Yidden have always played a leading role in opposing discrimination because of race, religion, or gender. And yet when it comes to mental health we don’t always live up to these values. The Medrash Rabba (Emor 30:12) says:

“No human is expendable. If one is slighted or excluded, the whole of society is unfit.” As painful as it is, we have to acknowledge that as Yidden we are not immune from emotional problems. We are not immune from depression, bi-polar or substance abuse. Neither are we immune from gambling, eating disorders, obsessive compulsive disorder or panic attacks.

Most emotional illnesses are extremely treatable and many sufferers will go on to lead completely happy, active, and fulfilling lives. Early intervention and prevention are the surest way to overcome these

illnesses. When it comes to our standing within the community, whether it is in the shul in which we daven, the school our children attend or the shidduchim we consider, it is understandable that we all seek to protect our status and reputation. But if we realise that, more important than our image is our health and the health of our children, then perhaps we can begin to face up to the mental health challenges we may encounter. It is time to explore how we can increase awareness and acceptance in our community for those with mental health concerns. With education, awareness, sensitivity and acceptance we can strive to create a welcoming community that loves and embraces all of its precious members. It’s time to end the dangerous waiting game and begin to play the game of health and happiness.

(Adapted from an article which first appeared in Mishpachah magazine) *Names have been changed