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Of Humor, Laughter and Wisdom

EXCERPTS from

The Book

“Wisdom fromLAUGHTER”

500 jokeswith life lessons

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For more Info Check Out The Link Below:

The BookWisdom from

LAUGHTER (7th Printing)

is available at MPH Bookstores/ mphOnline, Popular Bookstores

and other major Bookstores

http://www.slideshare.net/ohteikbin/wisdom-from-laughter

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465. “I want a baby…”

Two women in their thirties were sitting in the doctor's waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders."I want a baby more than anything in the world," said the first, "but I guess it is impossible.""I used to feel just the same way," said the second. "But then everything changed. That's why I'm here. I'm going to have a baby in three months.""You must tell me what you did," said the first lady."I went to a faith healer," the second lady said."But I've tried that. My husband and I went to one for nearly a year and it didn't help a bit."The other woman smiled and whispered, "Try going alone, next time, dearie."

How many people have resorted to immoral actions to satisfy a particular want?How many have been conned by people who claim to be “Faith Healers”?

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487. Why Me?

A man was speeding down the highway, feeling secure in a gaggle of cars all traveling at the same speed. However, as they passed a speed trap, he got nailed with an infrared speed detector and was pulled over. The officer handed him the summons, received his signature and was about to walk away when the man asked, "Officer, I know I was speeding, but I don't think it's fair - there were plenty of other cars around me who were going just as fast, so why must it be Me who gets the ticket?""Ever go fishing?" the policeman suddenly asked the man."Ummm, yeah..." the startled man replied.The officer grinned and added, "Ever catch ALL the fish?"

In the real world, not all the ‘bad’ ones get caught or punished by the law; likewise not all the ‘good’ ones get recognized or rewarded. That’s the way things are!

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408. Drop DeadThe Third Grade teacher had to leave her classroom for a few minutes. When she returned to her class, she found the children perfectly disciplined. Every pupil was sitting absolutely quiet. The teacher was shocked and stunned. She said, “I’ve never seen anything like this before. This is wonderful. Can someone tell me what came over all of you? Why are you so well-behaved and quiet?”Finally, after much urging, Ah Beng spoke up, “Teacher, you remember at one time you said that if you ever came back and found us quiet, you would drop dead.”

Little children can naively interpret the talk and words of adults in the most shocking and unexpected ways.

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430. Mirror, Mirror

A young woman bought a mirror at an antique shop and hung it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully said, "Mirror, mirror on my door, make my bust-line forty-four." Instantly, there was a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grew to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she ran to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both returned to the bathroom where the magic mirror was hung. This time the husband crossed his fingers and said, "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my vital organ touch the floor." Again, there was a bright flash and..........both his legs fell off!

Beware! Your secret yearnings and wishes ( especially those rooted in greed or unwholesomeness ) could be fulfilled in shocking and unpleasant ways.

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361. Lottery TicketA lazy superstitious man went out to his garden yard to pray and ask a favor from God.“Oh Heaven God,” he prayed. “I have prayed to you for many years faithfully. I have also offered all kinds of food for you. Oh God! Please let me strike the lottery.”The lazy man waited for a few weeks. Nothing happened. He became disappointed and angry. Out into the garden he went again. He knelt down and shouted, “Oh Heaven God, don’t You think You are being unreasonable. All I ask for is a strike at the lottery.” Suddenly he heard a voice thundering from the sky: “Who’s being unreasonable? You didn’t buy any lottery!”

A superstitious and deluded person lacks clear and reasonable thinking. He can do the most foolish things.

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307. The Beautiful Ladies

Four ladies were bragging to one another about how successful their sons were.First Lady: My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.Second Lady: My son is a bishop. When he walks into a room, people call him ‘Your Grace’.Third Lady: My son is a cardinal. When he walks into a room, he’s called ‘Your Eminence’.The fourth lady kept silent for a while. The other three ladies looked at her sneeringly with looks that seemed to say “Well … what have you?”Finally the fourth lady said, “My son is 6 feet 3, has broad square shoulders, is gorgeously handsome and dresses so smartly. Whenever he walks into a room, all the women just say, ‘Oh my God…’ ”.

The ego in a person is very strong. In the materialistic society today many try to outdo one another in their boasts.

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333. Gates of HeavenA man died and was propelled to the gates of heaven. The angel guarding the gates told the man that in order to enter through the gates he had to spell correctly the word LOVE. This was easy for the man and he was allowed in.The angel asked the man to relieve her at the gates as she had to go away for a short while. “Remember the final spelling test before you allow anyone in,” the angel told the man.Not long later, the man’s wife appeared at the gates of heaven. “Why are you here?” the man asked angrily. In life, his wife used to nag him. The wife said that she died in an accident on her return from the man’s funeral. The man told her that to enter the gates of heaven, she had to spell one word correctly.“And darling,” the wife asked, “what do I have to spell?”“Spell CZECHOSLOVAKIA,” the man said.

A person who hates or bears a grudge against another can be very mean and resort to devious ways to try to get rid of the one he hates or dislikes.

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347. Getting EvenA young man and his father were seated in front of the television watching a football match. During the halftime intermission, the father remarked to his son, “Son, do you remember the time when you were a young boy and did bad things from time to time. Every time you were bad, I gave you a whipping. Do you remember?”“I sure do,” the son replied, “except I could not figure out many times why I was whipped. Dad, you did not explain what wrong I did.”The father was silent for a moment and then he asked, “Son, after you got a whipping every time, you would go into the toilet and spend almost half an hour scrubbing the toilet. You got it spotlessly clean and I could never figure out why you did that task.”Without taking his eyes away from the television, the young man replied, “Dad, actually I was just getting even with you for whipping me.”The father, surprised, said, “How? By cleaning the toilet to get even?”“No,” the son answered, “by scrubbing the toilet with YOUR TOOTHBRUSH.”

To get even with another, there is no knowing what a person can do behind the back of the one who has aggrieved the person.