Of Human Bondage by Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset), 1874-1965

8/14/2019 Of Human Bondage by Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset), 1874-1965

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OfHumanBondage

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OFHUMANBONDAGEBYW.SOMERSETMAUGHAM

I

Thedaybrokegrayanddull.Thecloudshungheavily,andtherewasarawnessintheairthatsuggestedsnow.Awomanservantcameintoaroominwhichachildwassleepinganddrewthecurtains.Sheglancedmechanicallyatthehouseopposite,astuccohousewithaportico,andwenttothechild'sbed.

"Wakeup,Philip,"shesaid.

Shepulleddownthebed-clothes,tookhiminherarms,andcarriedhimdownstairs.Hewasonlyhalfawake.

"Yourmotherwantsyou,"shesaid.

Sheopenedthedoorofaroomonthefloorbelowandtookthechildovertoabedinwhichawomanwaslying.Itwashismother.Shestretchedoutherarms,andthechildnestledbyherside.Hedidnotaskwhyhehadbeenawakened.Thewomankissedhiseyes,andwiththin,smallhandsfeltthewarmbodythroughhiswhiteflannelnightgown.Shepressedhimclosertoherself.

"Areyousleepy,darling?"shesaid.

Hervoicewassoweakthatitseemedtocomealreadyfromagreatdistance.Thechilddidnotanswer,butsmiledcomfortably.Hewasveryhappyinthelarge,warmbed,withthosesoftarmsabouthim.Hetriedtomakehimselfsmallerstillashecuddledupagainsthismother,andhekissedhersleepily.Inamomentheclosedhiseyesandwasfastasleep.Thedoctorcameforwardsandstoodbythebed-side.

"Oh,don'ttakehimawayyet,"shemoaned.

Thedoctor,withoutanswering,lookedathergravely.Knowingshewould

notbeallowedtokeepthechildmuchlonger,thewomankissedhimagain;andshepassedherhanddownhisbodytillshecametohisfeet;sheheldtherightfootinherhandandfeltthefivesmalltoes;andthenslowlypassedherhandovertheleftone.Shegaveasob.

"What'sthematter?"saidthedoctor."You'retired."

Sheshookherhead,unabletospeak,andthetearsrolleddownhercheeks.Thedoctorbentdown.


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"Letmetakehim."

Shewastooweaktoresisthiswish,andshegavethechildup.Thedoctorhandedhimbacktohisnurse.

"You'dbetterputhimbackinhisownbed."

"Verywell,sir."Thelittleboy,stillsleeping,wastakenaway.Hismothersobbednowbroken-heartedly.

"Whatwillhappentohim,poorchild?"

Themonthlynursetriedtoquiether,andpresently,fromexhaustion,thecryingceased.Thedoctorwalkedtoatableontheothersideoftheroom,uponwhich,underatowel,laythebodyofastill-bornchild.Heliftedthetowelandlooked.Hewashiddenfromthebedbyascreen,butthewomanguessedwhathewasdoing.

"Wasitagirloraboy?"shewhisperedtothenurse.

"Anotherboy."

Thewomandidnotanswer.Inamomentthechild'snursecameback.Sheapproachedthebed.

"MasterPhilipneverwokeup,"shesaid.Therewasapause.Thenthedoctorfelthispatient'spulseoncemore.

"Idon'tthinkthere'sanythingIcandojustnow,"hesaid."I'llcallagainafterbreakfast."

"I'llshowyouout,sir,"saidthechild'snurse.

Theywalkeddownstairsinsilence.Inthehallthedoctorstopped.

"You'vesentforMrs.Carey'sbrother-in-law,haven'tyou?"

"Yes,sir."

"D'youknowatwhattimehe'llbehere?"

"No,sir,I'mexpectingatelegram."

"Whataboutthelittleboy?Ishouldthinkhe'dbebetteroutoftheway."

"MissWatkinsaidshe'dtakehim,sir."

"Who'sshe?"

"She'shisgodmother,sir.D'youthinkMrs.Careywillgetoverit,sir?"

Thedoctorshookhishead.

II

Itwasaweeklater.Philipwassittingonthefloorinthedrawing-roomatMissWatkin'shouseinOnslowgardens.Hewasanonlychildandusedtoamusinghimself.Theroomwasfilledwithmassivefurniture,andoneach


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ofthesofaswerethreebigcushions.Therewasacushiontooineacharm-chair.Allthesehehadtakenand,withthehelpofthegiltroutchairs,lightandeasytomove,hadmadeanelaboratecaveinwhichhecouldhidehimselffromtheRedIndianswhowerelurkingbehindthecurtains.Heputhiseartothefloorandlistenedtotheherdofbuffaloesthatracedacrosstheprairie.Presently,hearingthedooropen,heheldhisbreathsothathemightnotbediscovered;butaviolenthandpiledawayachairandthecushionsfelldown.

"Younaughtyboy,MissWatkinWILLbecrosswithyou."

"Hulloa,Emma!"hesaid.

Thenursebentdownandkissedhim,thenbegantoshakeoutthecushions,andputthembackintheirplaces.

"AmItocomehome?"heasked.

"Yes,I'vecometofetchyou."

"You'vegotanewdresson."

Itwasineighteen-eighty-five,andsheworeabustle.Hergownwasofblackvelvet,withtightsleevesandslopingshoulders,andtheskirthad

threelargeflounces.Sheworeablackbonnetwithvelvetstrings.Shehesitated.Thequestionshehadexpecteddidnotcome,andsoshecouldnotgivetheanswershehadprepared.

"Aren'tyougoingtoaskhowyourmammais?"shesaidatlength.

"Oh,Iforgot.Howismamma?"

Nowshewasready.

"Yourmammaisquitewellandhappy."

"Oh,Iamglad."

"Yourmamma'sgoneaway.Youwon'teverseeheranymore."Philipdidnotknowwhatshemeant.

"Whynot?"

"Yourmamma'sinheaven."

Shebegantocry,andPhilip,thoughhedidnotquiteunderstand,criedtoo.Emmawasatall,big-bonedwoman,withfairhairandlargefeatures.ShecamefromDevonshireand,notwithstandinghermanyyearsofserviceinLondon,hadneverlostthebreadthofheraccent.Hertearsincreasedheremotion,andshepressedthelittleboytoherheart.Shefeltvaguelythe

pityofthatchilddeprivedoftheonlyloveintheworldthatisquiteunselfish.Itseemeddreadfulthathemustbehandedovertostrangers.Butinalittlewhileshepulledherselftogether.

"YourUncleWilliamiswaitingintoseeyou,"shesaid."Goandsaygood-byetoMissWatkin,andwe'llgohome."

"Idon'twanttosaygood-bye,"heanswered,instinctivelyanxioustohidehistears.


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"Verywell,runupstairsandgetyourhat."

Hefetchedit,andwhenhecamedownEmmawaswaitingforhiminthehall.Heheardthesoundofvoicesinthestudybehindthedining-room.Hepaused.HeknewthatMissWatkinandhersisterweretalkingtofriends,anditseemedtohim--hewasnineyearsold--thatifhewentintheywouldbesorryforhim.

"IthinkI'llgoandsaygood-byetoMissWatkin."

"Ithinkyou'dbetter,"saidEmma.

"GoinandtellthemI'mcoming,"hesaid.

Hewishedtomakethemostofhisopportunity.Emmaknockedatthedoorandwalkedin.Heheardherspeak.

"MasterPhilipwantstosaygood-byetoyou,miss."

Therewasasuddenhushoftheconversation,andPhiliplimpedin.HenriettaWatkinwasastoutwoman,witharedfaceanddyedhair.Inthosedaystodyethehairexcitedcomment,andPhiliphadheardmuchgossipathomewhenhisgodmother'schangedcolour.Shelivedwithaneldersister,whohadresignedherselfcontentedlytooldage.Twoladies,

whomPhilipdidnotknow,werecalling,andtheylookedathimcuriously.

"Mypoorchild,"saidMissWatkin,openingherarms.

Shebegantocry.Philipunderstoodnowwhyshehadnotbeenintoluncheonandwhysheworeablackdress.Shecouldnotspeak.

"I'vegottogohome,"saidPhilip,atlast.

HedisengagedhimselffromMissWatkin'sarms,andshekissedhimagain.Thenhewenttohersisterandbadehergood-byetoo.Oneofthestrangeladiesaskedifshemightkisshim,andhegravelygaveherpermission.Thoughcrying,hekeenlyenjoyedthesensationhewascausing;hewould

havebeengladtostayalittlelongertobemademuchof,butfelttheyexpectedhimtogo,sohesaidthatEmmawaswaitingforhim.Hewentoutoftheroom.Emmahadgonedownstairstospeakwithafriendinthebasement,andhewaitedforheronthelanding.HeheardHenriettaWatkin'svoice.

"Hismotherwasmygreatestfriend.Ican'tbeartothinkthatshe'sdead."

"Yououghtn'ttohavegonetothefuneral,Henrietta,"saidhersister."Iknewitwouldupsetyou."

Thenoneofthestrangersspoke.

"Poorlittleboy,it'sdreadfultothinkofhimquitealoneintheworld.Iseehelimps."

"Yes,he'sgotaclub-foot.Itwassuchagrieftohismother."

ThenEmmacameback.Theycalledahansom,andshetoldthedriverwheretogo.


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III

WhentheyreachedthehouseMrs.Careyhaddiedin--itwasinadreary,respectablestreetbetweenNottingHillGateandHighStreet,Kensington--EmmaledPhilipintothedrawing-room.Hisunclewaswritinglettersofthanksforthewreathswhichhadbeensent.Oneofthem,whichhadarrivedtoolateforthefuneral,layinitscardboardboxonthehall-table.

"Here'sMasterPhilip,"saidEmma.

Mr.Careystoodupslowlyandshookhandswiththelittleboy.Thenonsecondthoughtshebentdownandkissedhisforehead.Hewasamanofsomewhatlessthanaverageheight,inclinedtocorpulence,withhishair,wornlong,arrangedoverthescalpsoastoconcealhisbaldness.Hewasclean-shaven.Hisfeatureswereregular,anditwaspossibletoimaginethatinhisyouthhehadbeengood-looking.Onhiswatch-chainheworeagoldcross.

"You'regoingtolivewithmenow,Philip,"saidMr.Carey."Shallyoulikethat?"

TwoyearsbeforePhiliphadbeensentdowntostayatthevicarageafteranattackofchicken-pox;butthereremainedwithhimarecollectionofanatticandalargegardenratherthanofhisuncleandaunt.

"Yes."

"YoumustlookuponmeandyourAuntLouisaasyourfatherandmother."

Thechild'smouthtrembledalittle,hereddened,butdidnotanswer.

"Yourdearmotherleftyouinmycharge."

Mr.Careyhadnogreateaseinexpressinghimself.Whenthenewscamethat

hissister-in-lawwasdying,hesetoffatonceforLondon,butonthewaythoughtofnothingbutthedisturbanceinhislifethatwouldbecausedifherdeathforcedhimtoundertakethecareofherson.Hewaswelloverfifty,andhiswife,towhomhehadbeenmarriedforthirtyyears,waschildless;hedidnotlookforwardwithanypleasuretothepresenceofasmallboywhomightbenoisyandrough.Hehadnevermuchlikedhissister-in-law.

"I'mgoingtotakeyoudowntoBlackstabletomorrow,"hesaid.

"WithEmma?"

Thechildputhishandinhers,andshepressedit.

"I'mafraidEmmamustgoaway,"saidMr.Carey.

"ButIwantEmmatocomewithme."

Philipbegantocry,andthenursecouldnothelpcryingtoo.Mr.Careylookedatthemhelplessly.

"Ithinkyou'dbetterleavemealonewithMasterPhilipforamoment."


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"Verygood,sir."

ThoughPhilipclungtoher,shereleasedherselfgently.Mr.Careytooktheboyonhiskneeandputhisarmroundhim.

"Youmustn'tcry,"hesaid."You'retoooldtohaveanursenow.Wemustseeaboutsendingyoutoschool."

"IwantEmmatocomewithme,"thechildrepeated.

"Itcoststoomuchmoney,Philip.Yourfatherdidn'tleaveverymuch,andIdon'tknowwhat'sbecomeofit.Youmustlookateverypennyyouspend."

Mr.Careyhadcalledthedaybeforeonthefamilysolicitor.Philip'sfatherwasasurgeoningoodpractice,andhishospitalappointmentssuggestedanestablishedposition;sothatitwasasurpriseonhissuddendeathfromblood-poisoningtofindthathehadlefthiswidowlittlemorethanhislifeinsuranceandwhatcouldbegotfortheleaseoftheirhouseinBrutonStreet.Thiswassixmonthsago;andMrs.Carey,alreadyindelicatehealth,findingherselfwithchild,hadlostherheadandacceptedfortheleasethefirstofferthatwasmade.Shestoredherfurniture,and,atarentwhichtheparsonthoughtoutrageous,tookafurnishedhouseforayear,sothatshemightsufferfromnoinconveniencetillherchildwasborn.Butshehadneverbeenusedtothemanagementof

money,andwasunabletoadaptherexpendituretoheralteredcircumstances.Thelittleshehadslippedthroughherfingersinonewayandanother,sothatnow,whenallexpenseswerepaid,notmuchmorethantwothousandpoundsremainedtosupporttheboytillhewasabletoearnhisownliving.ItwasimpossibletoexplainallthistoPhilipandhewassobbingstill.

"You'dbettergotoEmma,"Mr.Careysaid,feelingthatshecouldconsolethechildbetterthananyone.

WithoutawordPhilipslippedoffhisuncle'sknee,butMr.Careystoppedhim.

"Wemustgotomorrow,becauseonSaturdayI'vegottopreparemysermon,andyoumusttellEmmatogetyourthingsreadytoday.Youcanbringallyourtoys.Andifyouwantanythingtorememberyourfatherandmotherbyyoucantakeonethingforeachofthem.Everythingelseisgoingtobesold."

Theboyslippedoutoftheroom.Mr.Careywasunusedtowork,andheturnedtohiscorrespondencewithresentment.Ononesideofthedeskwasabundleofbills,andthesefilledhimwithirritation.Oneespeciallyseemedpreposterous.ImmediatelyafterMrs.Carey'sdeathEmmahadorderedfromthefloristmassesofwhiteflowersfortheroominwhichthedeadwomanlay.Itwassheerwasteofmoney.Emmatookfartoomuchuponherself.Eveniftherehadbeennofinancialnecessity,hewouldhave

dismissedher.

ButPhilipwenttoher,andhidhisfaceinherbosom,andweptasthoughhisheartwouldbreak.Andshe,feelingthathewasalmostherownson--shehadtakenhimwhenhewasamonthold--consoledhimwithsoftwords.Shepromisedthatshewouldcomeandseehimsometimes,andthatshewouldneverforgethim;andshetoldhimaboutthecountryhewasgoingtoandaboutherownhomeinDevonshire--herfatherkeptaturnpikeonthehigh-roadthatledtoExeter,andtherewerepigsinthesty,andtherewasacow,andthecowhadjusthadacalf--tillPhilipforgothis


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tearsandgrewexcitedatthethoughtofhisapproachingjourney.Presentlysheputhimdown,fortherewasmuchtobedone,andhehelpedhertolayouthisclothesonthebed.Shesenthimintothenurserytogatheruphistoys,andinalittlewhilehewasplayinghappily.

Butatlasthegrewtiredofbeingaloneandwentbacktothebed-room,inwhichEmmawasnowputtinghisthingsintoabigtinbox;herememberedthenthathisunclehadsaidhemighttakesomethingtorememberhisfatherandmotherby.HetoldEmmaandaskedherwhatheshouldtake.

"You'dbettergointothedrawing-roomandseewhatyoufancy."

"UncleWilliam'sthere."

"Nevermindthat.They'reyourownthingsnow."

Philipwentdownstairsslowlyandfoundthedooropen.Mr.Careyhadlefttheroom.Philipwalkedslowlyround.Theyhadbeeninthehousesoshortatimethattherewaslittleinitthathadaparticularinteresttohim.Itwasastranger'sroom,andPhilipsawnothingthatstruckhisfancy.Butheknewwhichwerehismother'sthingsandwhichbelongedtothelandlord,andpresentlyfixedonalittleclockthathehadonceheardhismothersaysheliked.Withthishewalkedagainratherdisconsolatelyupstairs.Outsidethedoorofhismother'sbed-roomhestoppedand

listened.Thoughnoonehadtoldhimnottogoin,hehadafeelingthatitwouldbewrongtodoso;hewasalittlefrightened,andhisheartbeatuncomfortably;butatthesametimesomethingimpelledhimtoturnthehandle.Heturneditverygently,asiftopreventanyonewithinfromhearing,andthenslowlypushedthedooropen.Hestoodonthethresholdforamomentbeforehehadthecouragetoenter.Hewasnotfrightenednow,butitseemedstrange.Heclosedthedoorbehindhim.Theblindsweredrawn,andtheroom,inthecoldlightofaJanuaryafternoon,wasdark.Onthedressing-tablewereMrs.Carey'sbrushesandthehandmirror.Inalittletraywerehairpins.Therewasaphotographofhimselfonthechimney-pieceandoneofhisfather.Hehadoftenbeenintheroomwhenhismotherwasnotinit,butnowitseemeddifferent.Therewassomethingcuriousinthelookofthechairs.Thebedwasmadeasthoughsomeonewere

goingtosleepinitthatnight,andinacaseonthepillowwasanight-dress.

Philipopenedalargecupboardfilledwithdressesand,steppingin,tookasmanyofthemashecouldinhisarmsandburiedhisfaceinthem.Theysmeltofthescenthismotherused.Thenhepulledopenthedrawers,filledwithhismother'sthings,andlookedatthem:therewerelavenderbagsamongthelinen,andtheirscentwasfreshandpleasant.Thestrangenessoftheroomleftit,anditseemedtohimthathismotherhadjustgoneoutforawalk.Shewouldbeinpresentlyandwouldcomeupstairstohavenurseryteawithhim.Andheseemedtofeelherkissonhislips.

Itwasnottruethathewouldneverseeheragain.Itwasnottruesimplybecauseitwasimpossible.Heclimbeduponthebedandputhisheadonthepillow.Helaytherequitestill.

IV

PhilippartedfromEmmawithtears,butthejourneytoBlackstableamused


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him,and,whentheyarrived,hewasresignedandcheerful.BlackstablewassixtymilesfromLondon.Givingtheirluggagetoaporter,Mr.CareysetouttowalkwithPhiliptothevicarage;ittookthemlittlemorethanfiveminutes,and,whentheyreachedit,Philipsuddenlyrememberedthegate.Itwasredandfive-barred:itswungbothwaysoneasyhinges;anditwaspossible,thoughforbidden,toswingbackwardsandforwardsonit.Theywalkedthroughthegardentothefront-door.ThiswasonlyusedbyvisitorsandonSundays,andonspecialoccasions,aswhentheVicarwentuptoLondonorcameback.Thetrafficofthehousetookplacethroughaside-door,andtherewasabackdooraswellforthegardenerandforbeggarsandtramps.Itwasafairlylargehouseofyellowbrick,witharedroof,builtaboutfiveandtwentyyearsbeforeinanecclesiasticalstyle.Thefront-doorwaslikeachurchporch,andthedrawing-roomwindowsweregothic.

Mrs.Carey,knowingbywhattraintheywerecoming,waitedinthedrawing-roomandlistenedfortheclickofthegate.Whenshehearditshewenttothedoor.

"There'sAuntLouisa,"saidMr.Carey,whenhesawher."Runandgiveherakiss."

Philipstartedtorun,awkwardly,trailinghisclub-foot,andthenstopped.Mrs.Careywasalittle,shrivelledwomanofthesameageasher

husband,withafaceextraordinarilyfilledwithdeepwrinkles,andpaleblueeyes.Hergrayhairwasarrangedinringletsaccordingtothefashionofheryouth.Sheworeablackdress,andheronlyornamentwasagoldchain,fromwhichhungacross.Shehadashymannerandagentlevoice.

"Didyouwalk,William?"shesaid,almostreproachfully,asshekissedherhusband.

"Ididn'tthinkofit,"heanswered,withaglanceathisnephew.

"Itdidn'thurtyoutowalk,Philip,didit?"sheaskedthechild.

"No.Ialwayswalk."

Hewasalittlesurprisedattheirconversation.AuntLouisatoldhimtocomein,andtheyenteredthehall.Itwaspavedwithredandyellowtiles,onwhichalternatelywereaGreekCrossandtheLambofGod.Animposingstaircaseledoutofthehall.Itwasofpolishedpine,withapeculiarsmell,andhadbeenputinbecausefortunately,whenthechurchwasreseated,enoughwoodremainedover.ThebalustersweredecoratedwithemblemsoftheFourEvangelists.

"I'vehadthestovelightedasIthoughtyou'dbecoldafteryourjourney,"saidMrs.Carey.

Itwasalargeblackstovethatstoodinthehallandwasonlylightedif

theweatherwasverybadandtheVicarhadacold.ItwasnotlightedifMrs.Careyhadacold.Coalwasexpensive.Besides,MaryAnn,themaid,didn'tlikefiresallovertheplace.Iftheywantedallthemfirestheymustkeepasecondgirl.InthewinterMr.andMrs.Careylivedinthedining-roomsothatonefireshoulddo,andinthesummertheycouldnotgetoutofthehabit,sothedrawing-roomwasusedonlybyMr.CareyonSundayafternoonsforhisnap.ButeverySaturdayhehadafireinthestudysothathecouldwritehissermon.

AuntLouisatookPhilipupstairsandshowedhimintoatinybed-roomthat


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lookedoutonthedrive.Immediatelyinfrontofthewindowwasalargetree,whichPhiliprememberednowbecausethebranchesweresolowthatitwaspossibletoclimbquitehighupit.

"Asmallroomforasmallboy,"saidMrs.Carey."Youwon'tbefrightenedatsleepingalone?"

"Oh,no."

Onhisfirstvisittothevicaragehehadcomewithhisnurse,andMrs.Careyhadhadlittletodowithhim.Shelookedathimnowwithsomeuncertainty.

"Canyouwashyourownhands,orshallIwashthemforyou?"

"Icanwashmyself,"heansweredfirmly.

"Well,Ishalllookatthemwhenyoucomedowntotea,"saidMrs.Carey.

Sheknewnothingaboutchildren.AfteritwassettledthatPhilipshouldcomedowntoBlackstable,Mrs.Careyhadthoughtmuchhowsheshouldtreathim;shewasanxioustodoherduty;butnowhewasthereshefoundherselfjustasshyofhimashewasofher.Shehopedhewouldnotbenoisyandrough,becauseherhusbanddidnotlikeroughandnoisyboys.

Mrs.CareymadeanexcusetoleavePhilipalone,butinamomentcamebackandknockedatthedoor;sheaskedhim,withoutcomingin,ifhecouldpouroutthewaterhimself.Thenshewentdownstairsandrangthebellfortea.

Thedining-room,largeandwell-proportioned,hadwindowsontwosidesofit,withheavycurtainsofredrep;therewasabigtableinthemiddle;andatoneendanimposingmahoganysideboardwithalooking-glassinit.Inonecornerstoodaharmonium.Oneachsideofthefireplacewerechairscoveredinstampedleather,eachwithanantimacassar;onehadarmsandwascalledthehusband,andtheotherhadnoneandwascalledthewife.Mrs.Careyneversatinthearm-chair:shesaidshepreferredachairthatwasnottoocomfortable;therewasalwaysalottodo,andifherchair

hadhadarmsshemightnotbesoreadytoleaveit.

Mr.CareywasmakingupthefirewhenPhilipcamein,andhepointedouttohisnephewthatthereweretwopokers.Onewaslargeandbrightandpolishedandunused,andwascalledtheVicar;andtheother,whichwasmuchsmallerandhadevidentlypassedthroughmanyfires,wascalledtheCurate.

"Whatarewewaitingfor?"saidMr.Carey.

"ItoldMaryAnntomakeyouanegg.Ithoughtyou'dbehungryafteryourjourney."

Mrs.CareythoughtthejourneyfromLondontoBlackstableverytiring.Sheseldomtravelledherself,forthelivingwasonlythreehundredayear,and,whenherhusbandwantedaholiday,sincetherewasnotmoneyfortwo,hewentbyhimself.HewasveryfondofChurchCongressesandusuallymanagedtogouptoLondononceayear;andoncehehadbeentoParisfortheexhibition,andtwoorthreetimestoSwitzerland.MaryAnnbroughtintheegg,andtheysatdown.ThechairwasmuchtoolowforPhilip,andforamomentneitherMr.Careynorhiswifeknewwhattodo.

"I'llputsomebooksunderhim,"saidMaryAnn.


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ShetookfromthetopoftheharmoniumthelargeBibleandtheprayer-bookfromwhichtheVicarwasaccustomedtoreadprayers,andputthemonPhilip'schair.

"Oh,William,hecan'tsitontheBible,"saidMrs.Carey,inashockedtone."Couldn'tyougethimsomebooksoutofthestudy?"

Mr.Careyconsideredthequestionforaninstant.

"Idon'tthinkitmattersthisonceifyouputtheprayer-bookonthetop,MaryAnn,"hesaid."ThebookofCommonPrayeristhecompositionofmenlikeourselves.Ithasnoclaimtodivineauthorship."

"Ihadn'tthoughtofthat,William,"saidAuntLouisa.

Philipperchedhimselfonthebooks,andtheVicar,havingsaidgrace,cutthetopoffhisegg.

"There,"hesaid,handingittoPhilip,"youcaneatmytopifyoulike."

Philipwouldhavelikedaneggtohimself,buthewasnotofferedone,sotookwhathecould.

"HowhavethechickensbeenlayingsinceIwentaway?"askedtheVicar.

"Oh,they'vebeendreadful,onlyoneortwoaday."

"Howdidyoulikethattop,Philip?"askedhisuncle.

"Verymuch,thankyou."

"YoushallhaveanotheroneonSundayafternoon."

Mr.CareyalwayshadaboiledeggatteaonSunday,sothathemightbefortifiedfortheeveningservice.

V

Philipcamegraduallytoknowthepeoplehewastolivewith,andbyfragmentsofconversation,someofitnotmeantforhisears,learnedagooddealbothabouthimselfandabouthisdeadparents.Philip'sfatherhadbeenmuchyoungerthantheVicarofBlackstable.AfterabrilliantcareeratSt.Luke'sHospitalhewasputonthestaff,andpresentlybegantoearnmoneyinconsiderablesums.Hespentitfreely.Whentheparsonsetaboutrestoringhischurchandaskedhisbrotherforasubscription,hewassurprisedbyreceivingacoupleofhundredpounds:Mr.Carey,

thriftybyinclinationandeconomicalbynecessity,accepteditwithmingledfeelings;hewasenviousofhisbrotherbecausehecouldaffordtogivesomuch,pleasedforthesakeofhischurch,andvaguelyirritatedbyagenerositywhichseemedalmostostentatious.ThenHenryCareymarriedapatient,abeautifulgirlbutpenniless,anorphanwithnonearrelations,butofgoodfamily;andtherewasanarrayoffinefriendsatthewedding.Theparson,onhisvisitstoherwhenhecametoLondon,heldhimselfwithreserve.Hefeltshywithherandinhisheartheresentedhergreatbeauty:shedressedmoremagnificentlythanbecamethewifeofahardworkingsurgeon;andthecharmingfurnitureofherhouse,theflowers


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amongwhichshelivedeveninwinter,suggestedanextravagancewhichhedeplored.Heheardhertalkofentertainmentsshewasgoingto;and,ashetoldhiswifeongettinghomeagain,itwasimpossibletoaccepthospitalitywithoutmakingsomereturn.Hehadseengrapesinthedining-roomthatmusthavecostatleasteightshillingsapound;andatluncheonhehadbeengivenasparagustwomonthsbeforeitwasreadyinthevicaragegarden.Nowallhehadanticipatedwascometopass:theVicarfeltthesatisfactionoftheprophetwhosawfireandbrimstoneconsumethecitywhichwouldnotmenditswaytohiswarning.PoorPhilipwaspracticallypenniless,andwhatwasthegoodofhismother'sfinefriendsnow?Heheardthathisfather'sextravagancewasreallycriminal,anditwasamercythatProvidencehadseenfittotakehisdearmothertoitself:shehadnomoreideaofmoneythanachild.

WhenPhiliphadbeenaweekatBlackstableanincidenthappenedwhichseemedtoirritatehisuncleverymuch.OnemorninghefoundonthebreakfasttableasmallpacketwhichhadbeensentonbypostfromthelateMrs.Carey'shouseinLondon.Itwasaddressedtoher.WhentheparsonopenedithefoundadozenphotographsofMrs.Carey.Theyshowedtheheadandshouldersonly,andherhairwasmoreplainlydonethanusual,lowontheforehead,whichgaveheranunusuallook;thefacewasthinandworn,butnoillnesscouldimpairthebeautyofherfeatures.TherewasinthelargedarkeyesasadnesswhichPhilipdidnotremember.ThefirstsightofthedeadwomangaveMr.Careyalittleshock,butthis

wasquicklyfollowedbyperplexity.Thephotographsseemedquiterecent,andhecouldnotimaginewhohadorderedthem.

"D'youknowanythingaboutthese,Philip?"heasked.

"Iremembermammasaidshe'dbeentaken,"heanswered."MissWatkinscoldedher....Shesaid:Iwantedtheboytohavesomethingtoremembermebywhenhegrowsup."

Mr.CareylookedatPhilipforaninstant.Thechildspokeinacleartreble.Herecalledthewords,buttheymeantnothingtohim.

"You'dbettertakeoneofthephotographsandkeepitinyourroom,"said

Mr.Carey."I'llputtheothersaway."

HesentonetoMissWatkin,andshewroteandexplainedhowtheycametobetaken.

OnedayMrs.Careywaslyinginbed,butshewasfeelingalittlebetterthanusual,andthedoctorinthemorninghadseemedhopeful;Emmahadtakenthechildout,andthemaidsweredownstairsinthebasement:suddenlyMrs.Careyfeltdesperatelyaloneintheworld.Agreatfearseizedherthatshewouldnotrecoverfromtheconfinementwhichshewasexpectinginafortnight.Hersonwasnineyearsold.Howcouldhebeexpectedtorememberher?Shecouldnotbeartothinkthathewouldgrowupandforget,forgetherutterly;andshehadlovedhimsopassionately,

becausehewasweaklyanddeformed,andbecausehewasherchild.Shehadnophotographsofherselftakensincehermarriage,andthatwastenyearsbefore.Shewantedhersontoknowwhatshelookedlikeattheend.Hecouldnotforgetherthen,notforgetutterly.Sheknewthatifshecalledhermaidandtoldhershewantedtogetup,themaidwouldpreventher,andperhapssendforthedoctor,andshehadnotthestrengthnowtostruggleorargue.Shegotoutofbedandbegantodressherself.Shehadbeenonherbacksolongthatherlegsgavewaybeneathher,andthenthesolesofherfeettingledsothatshecouldhardlybeartoputthemtotheground.Butshewenton.Shewasunusedtodoingherownhairand,when


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sheraisedherarmsandbegantobrushit,shefeltfaint.Shecouldneverdoitashermaiddid.Itwasbeautifulhair,veryfine,andofadeeprichgold.Hereyebrowswerestraightanddark.Sheputonablackskirt,butchosethebodiceoftheeveningdresswhichshelikedbest:itwasofawhitedamaskwhichwasfashionableinthosedays.Shelookedatherselfintheglass.Herfacewasverypale,butherskinwasclear:shehadneverhadmuchcolour,andthishadalwaysmadetherednessofherbeautifulmouthemphatic.Shecouldnotrestrainasob.Butshecouldnotaffordtobesorryforherself;shewasfeelingalreadydesperatelytired;andsheputonthefurswhichHenryhadgivenhertheChristmasbefore--shehadbeensoproudofthemandsohappythen--andslippeddownstairswithbeatingheart.Shegotsafelyoutofthehouseanddrovetoaphotographer.Shepaidforadozenphotographs.Shewasobligedtoaskforaglassofwaterinthemiddleofthesitting;andtheassistant,seeingshewasill,suggestedthatsheshouldcomeanotherday,butsheinsistedonstayingtilltheend.Atlastitwasfinished,andshedrovebackagaintothedingylittlehouseinKensingtonwhichshehatedwithallherheart.Itwasahorriblehousetodiein.

Shefoundthefrontdooropen,andwhenshedroveupthemaidandEmmarandownthestepstohelpher.Theyhadbeenfrightenedwhentheyfoundherroomempty.AtfirsttheythoughtshemusthavegonetoMissWatkin,andthecookwassentround.MissWatkincamebackwithherandwaswaitinganxiouslyinthedrawing-room.Shecamedownstairsnowfullofanxietyand

reproaches;buttheexertionhadbeenmorethanMrs.Careywasfitfor,andwhentheoccasionforfirmnessnolongerexistedshegaveway.ShefellheavilyintoEmma'sarmsandwascarriedupstairs.Sheremainedunconsciousforatimethatseemedincrediblylongtothosethatwatchedher,andthedoctor,hurriedlysentfor,didnotcome.Itwasnextday,whenshewasalittlebetter,thatMissWatkingotsomeexplanationoutofher.Philipwasplayingonthefloorofhismother'sbed-room,andneitheroftheladiespaidattentiontohim.Heonlyunderstoodvaguelywhattheyweretalkingabout,andhecouldnothavesaidwhythosewordsremainedinhismemory.

"Iwantedtheboytohavesomethingtoremembermebywhenhegrowsup."

"Ican'tmakeoutwhysheorderedadozen,"saidMr.Carey."Twowouldhavedone."

VI

Onedaywasverylikeanotheratthevicarage.

SoonafterbreakfastMaryAnnbroughtinTheTimes.Mr.Careyshareditwithtwoneighbours.Hehaditfromtentillone,whenthegardenertookitovertoMr.EllisattheLimes,withwhomitremainedtillseven;then

itwastakentoMissBrooksattheManorHouse,who,sinceshegotitlate,hadtheadvantageofkeepingit.InsummerMrs.Carey,whenshewasmakingjam,oftenaskedherforacopytocoverthepotswith.WhentheVicarsettleddowntohispaperhiswifeputonherbonnetandwentouttodotheshopping.Philipaccompaniedher.Blackstablewasafishingvillage.Itconsistedofahighstreetinwhichweretheshops,thebank,thedoctor'shouse,andthehousesoftwoorthreecoalshipowners;roundthelittleharborwereshabbystreetsinwhichlivedfishermenandpoorpeople;butsincetheywenttochapeltheywereofnoaccount.WhenMrs.Careypassedthedissentingministersinthestreetshesteppedoverto


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theothersidetoavoidmeetingthem,butiftherewasnottimeforthisfixedhereyesonthepavement.ItwasascandaltowhichtheVicarhadneverresignedhimselfthattherewerethreechapelsintheHighStreet:hecouldnothelpfeelingthatthelawshouldhavesteppedintopreventtheirerection.ShoppinginBlackstablewasnotasimplematter;fordissent,helpedbythefactthattheparishchurchwastwomilesfromthetown,wasverycommon;anditwasnecessarytodealonlywithchurchgoers;Mrs.Careyknewperfectlythatthevicaragecustommightmakeallthedifferencetoatradesman'sfaith.Thereweretwobutcherswhowenttochurch,andtheywouldnotunderstandthattheVicarcouldnotdealwithbothofthematonce;norweretheysatisfiedwithhissimpleplanofgoingforsixmonthstooneandforsixmonthstotheother.Thebutcherwhowasnotsendingmeattothevicarageconstantlythreatenednottocometochurch,andtheVicarwassometimesobligedtomakeathreat:itwasverywrongofhimnottocometochurch,butifhecarriediniquityfurtherandactuallywenttochapel,thenofcourse,excellentashismeatwas,Mr.Careywouldbeforcedtoleavehimforever.Mrs.CareyoftenstoppedatthebanktodeliveramessagetoJosiahGraves,themanager,whowaschoir-master,treasurer,andchurchwarden.Hewasatall,thinmanwithasallowfaceandalongnose;hishairwasverywhite,andtoPhilipheseemedextremelyold.Hekepttheparishaccounts,arrangedthetreatsforthechoirandtheschools;thoughtherewasnoorganintheparishchurch,itwasgenerallyconsidered(inBlackstable)thatthechoirheledwasthebestinKent;andwhentherewasanyceremony,suchasavisit

fromtheBishopforconfirmationorfromtheRuralDeantopreachattheHarvestThanksgiving,hemadethenecessarypreparations.ButhehadnohesitationindoingallmannerofthingswithoutmorethanaperfunctoryconsultationwiththeVicar,andtheVicar,thoughalwaysreadytobesavedtrouble,muchresentedthechurchwarden'smanagingways.Hereallyseemedtolookuponhimselfasthemostimportantpersonintheparish.Mr.CareyconstantlytoldhiswifethatifJosiahGravesdidnottakecarehewouldgivehimagoodrapovertheknucklesoneday;butMrs.CareyadvisedhimtobearwithJosiahGraves:hemeantwell,anditwasnothisfaultifhewasnotquiteagentleman.TheVicar,findinghiscomfortinthepracticeofaChristianvirtue,exercisedforbearance;butherevengedhimselfbycallingthechurchwardenBismarckbehindhisback.

Oncetherehadbeenaseriousquarrelbetweenthepair,andMrs.Careystillthoughtofthatanxioustimewithdismay.TheConservativecandidatehadannouncedhisintentionofaddressingameetingatBlackstable;andJosiahGraves,havingarrangedthatitshouldtakeplaceintheMissionHall,wenttoMr.Careyandtoldhimthathehopedhewouldsayafewwords.ItappearedthatthecandidatehadaskedJosiahGravestotakethechair.ThiswasmorethanMr.Careycouldputupwith.Hehadfirmviewsupontherespectwhichwasduetothecloth,anditwasridiculousforachurchwardentotakethechairatameetingwhentheVicarwasthere.HeremindedJosiahGravesthatparsonmeantperson,thatis,thevicarwasthepersonoftheparish.JosiahGravesansweredthathewasthefirsttorecognisethedignityofthechurch,butthiswasamatterofpolitics,andinhisturnheremindedtheVicarthattheirBlessedSaviourhad

enjoineduponthemtorenderuntoCaesarthethingsthatwereCaesar's.TothisMr.Careyrepliedthatthedevilcouldquotescripturetohispurpose,himselfhadsoleauthorityovertheMissionHall,andifhewerenotaskedtobechairmanhewouldrefusetheuseofitforapoliticalmeeting.JosiahGravestoldMr.Careythathemightdoashechose,andforhisparthethoughttheWesleyanChapelwouldbeanequallysuitableplace.ThenMr.CareysaidthatifJosiahGravessetfootinwhatwaslittlebetterthanaheathentemplehewasnotfittobechurchwardeninaChristianparish.JosiahGravesthereuponresignedallhisoffices,andthatveryeveningsenttothechurchforhiscassockandsurplice.His


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sister,MissGraves,whokepthouseforhim,gaveuphersecretaryshipoftheMaternityClub,whichprovidedthepregnantpoorwithflannel,babylinen,coals,andfiveshillings.Mr.Careysaidhewasatlastmasterinhisownhouse.Butsoonhefoundthathewasobligedtoseetoallsortsofthingsthatheknewnothingabout;andJosiahGraves,afterthefirstmomentofirritation,discoveredthathehadlosthischiefinterestinlife.Mrs.CareyandMissGravesweremuchdistressedbythequarrel;theymetafteradiscreetexchangeofletters,andmadeuptheirmindstoputthematterright:theytalked,onetoherhusband,theothertoherbrother,frommorningtillnight;andsincetheywerepersuadingthesegentlementodowhatintheirheartstheywanted,afterthreeweeksofanxietyareconciliationwaseffected.Itwastoboththeirinterests,buttheyascribedittoacommonlovefortheirRedeemer.ThemeetingwasheldattheMissionHall,andthedoctorwasaskedtobechairman.Mr.CareyandJosiahGravesbothmadespeeches.

WhenMrs.Careyhadfinishedherbusinesswiththebanker,shegenerallywentupstairstohavealittlechatwithhissister;andwhiletheladiestalkedofparishmatters,thecurateorthenewbonnetofMrs.Wilson--Mr.WilsonwastherichestmaninBlackstable,hewasthoughttohaveatleastfivehundredayear,andhehadmarriedhiscook--Philipsatdemurelyinthestiffparlour,usedonlytoreceivevisitors,andbusiedhimselfwiththerestlessmovementsofgoldfishinabowl.Thewindowswereneveropenedexcepttoairtheroomforafewminutesinthemorning,andithad

astuffysmellwhichseemedtoPhiliptohaveamysteriousconnectionwithbanking.

ThenMrs.Careyrememberedthatshehadtogotothegrocer,andtheycontinuedtheirway.Whentheshoppingwasdonetheyoftenwentdownasidestreetoflittlehouses,mostlyofwood,inwhichfishermendwelt(andhereandthereafishermansatonhisdoorstepmendinghisnets,andnetshungtodryuponthedoors),tilltheycametoasmallbeach,shutinoneachsidebywarehouses,butwithaviewofthesea.Mrs.Careystoodforafewminutesandlookedatit,itwasturbidandyellow,[andwhoknowswhatthoughtspassedthroughhermind?]whilePhilipsearchedforflatstonestoplayducksanddrakes.Thentheywalkedslowlyback.Theylookedintothepostofficetogettherighttime,noddedtoMrs.Wigram

thedoctor'swife,whosatatherwindowsewing,andsogothome.

Dinnerwasatoneo'clock;andonMonday,Tuesday,andWednesdayitconsistedofbeef,roast,hashed,andminced,andonThursday,Friday,andSaturdayofmutton.OnSundaytheyateoneoftheirownchickens.IntheafternoonPhilipdidhislessons,HewastaughtLatinandmathematicsbyhisunclewhoknewneither,andFrenchandthepianobyhisaunt.OfFrenchshewasignorant,butsheknewthepianowellenoughtoaccompanytheold-fashionedsongsshehadsungforthirtyyears.UncleWilliamusedtotellPhilipthatwhenhewasacuratehiswifehadknowntwelvesongsbyheart,whichshecouldsingatamoment'snoticewhenevershewasasked.Sheoftensangstillwhentherewasatea-partyatthevicarage.TherewerefewpeoplewhomtheCareyscaredtoaskthere,andtheir

partiesconsistedalwaysofthecurate,JosiahGraveswithhissister,Dr.Wigramandhiswife.AfterteaMissGravesplayedoneortwoofMendelssohn'sSongswithoutWords,andMrs.CareysangWhentheSwallowsHomewardFly,orTrot,Trot,MyPony.

ButtheCareysdidnotgivetea-partiesoften;thepreparationsupsetthem,andwhentheirguestsweregonetheyfeltthemselvesexhausted.Theypreferredtohaveteabythemselves,andafterteatheyplayedbackgammon.Mrs.Careyarrangedthatherhusbandshouldwin,becausehedidnotlikelosing.Theyhadcoldsupperateight.ItwasascrappymealbecauseMary


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Annresentedgettinganythingreadyaftertea,andMrs.Careyhelpedtoclearaway.Mrs.Careyseldomatemorethanbreadandbutter,withalittlestewedfruittofollow,buttheVicarhadasliceofcoldmeat.ImmediatelyaftersupperMrs.Careyrangthebellforprayers,andthenPhilipwenttobed.HerebelledagainstbeingundressedbyMaryAnnandafterawhilesucceededinestablishinghisrighttodressandundresshimself.Atnineo'clockMaryAnnbroughtintheeggsandtheplate.Mrs.Careywrotethedateoneacheggandputthenumberdowninabook.Shethentooktheplate-basketonherarmandwentupstairs.Mr.Careycontinuedtoreadoneofhisoldbooks,butastheclockstrucktenhegotup,putoutthelamps,andfollowedhiswifetobed.

WhenPhiliparrivedtherewassomedifficultyindecidingonwhicheveningheshouldhavehisbath.Itwasnevereasytogetplentyofhotwater,sincethekitchenboilerdidnotwork,anditwasimpossiblefortwopersonstohaveabathonthesameday.TheonlymanwhohadabathroominBlackstablewasMr.Wilson,anditwasthoughtostentatiousofhim.MaryAnnhadherbathinthekitchenonMondaynight,becauseshelikedtobegintheweekclean.UncleWilliamcouldnothavehisonSaturday,becausehehadaheavydaybeforehimandhewasalwaysalittletiredafterabath,sohehaditonFriday.Mrs.CareyhadhersonThursdayforthesamereason.ItlookedasthoughSaturdaywerenaturallyindicatedforPhilip,butMaryAnnsaidshecouldn'tkeepthefireuponSaturdaynight:whatwithallthecookingonSunday,havingtomakepastryandshedidn't

knowwhatall,shedidnotfeeluptogivingtheboyhisbathonSaturdaynight;anditwasquiteclearthathecouldnotbathhimself.Mrs.Careywasshyaboutbathingaboy,andofcoursetheVicarhadhissermon.ButtheVicarinsistedthatPhilipshouldbecleanandsweetforthelord'sDay.MaryAnnsaidshewouldrathergothanbeputupon--andaftereighteenyearsshedidn'texpecttohavemoreworkgivenher,andtheymightshowsomeconsideration--andPhilipsaidhedidn'twantanyonetobathhim,butcouldverywellbathhimself.Thissettledit.MaryAnnsaidshewasquitesurehewouldn'tbathhimselfproperly,andratherthanheshouldgodirty--andnotbecausehewasgoingintothepresenceoftheLord,butbecauseshecouldn'tabideaboywhowasn'tproperlywashed--she'dworkherselftotheboneevenifitwasSaturdaynight.

VII

Sundaywasadaycrowdedwithincident.Mr.Careywasaccustomedtosaythathewastheonlymaninhisparishwhoworkedsevendaysaweek.

Thehouseholdgotuphalfanhourearlierthanusual.Nolyingabedforapoorparsononthedayofrest,Mr.CareyremarkedasMaryAnnknockedatthedoorpunctuallyateight.IttookMrs.Careylongertodress,andshegotdowntobreakfastatnine,alittlebreathless,onlyjustbeforeherhusband.Mr.Carey'sbootsstoodinfrontofthefiretowarm.Prayers

werelongerthanusual,andthebreakfastmoresubstantial.AfterbreakfasttheVicarcutthinslicesofbreadforthecommunion,andPhilipwasprivilegedtocutoffthecrust.Hewassenttothestudytofetchamarblepaperweight,withwhichMr.Careypressedthebreadtillitwasthinandpulpy,andthenitwascutintosmallsquares.Theamountwasregulatedbytheweather.Onaverybaddayfewpeoplecametochurch,andonaveryfineone,thoughmanycame,fewstayedforcommunion.Thereweremostwhenitwasdryenoughtomakethewalktochurchpleasant,butnotsofinethatpeoplewantedtohurryaway.


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ThenMrs.Careybroughtthecommunionplateoutofthesafe,whichstoodinthepantry,andtheVicarpolisheditwithachamoisleather.Attentheflydroveup,andMr.Careygotintohisboots.Mrs.Careytookseveralminutestoputonherbonnet,duringwhichtheVicar,inavoluminouscloak,stoodinthehallwithjustsuchanexpressiononhisfaceaswouldhavebecomeanearlyChristianabouttobeledintothearena.ItwasextraordinarythatafterthirtyyearsofmarriagehiswifecouldnotbereadyintimeonSundaymorning.Atlastshecame,inblacksatin;theVicardidnotlikecoloursinaclergyman'swifeatanytime,butonSundayshewasdeterminedthatsheshouldwearblack;nowandthen,inconspiracywithMissGraves,sheventuredawhitefeatherorapinkroseinherbonnet,buttheVicarinsistedthatitshoulddisappear;hesaidhewouldnotgotochurchwiththescarletwoman:Mrs.Careysighedasawomanbutobeyedasawife.TheywereabouttostepintothecarriagewhentheVicarrememberedthatnoonehadgivenhimhisegg.Theyknewthathemusthaveaneggforhisvoice,thereweretwowomeninthehouse,andnoonehadtheleastregardforhiscomfort.Mrs.CareyscoldedMaryAnn,andMaryAnnansweredthatshecouldnotthinkofeverything.Shehurriedawaytofetchanegg,andMrs.Careybeatitupinaglassofsherry.TheVicarswalloweditatagulp.Thecommunionplatewasstowedinthecarriage,andtheysetoff.

TheflycamefromTheRedLionandhadapeculiarsmellofstalestraw.TheydrovewithbothwindowsclosedsothattheVicarshouldnotcatch

cold.Thesextonwaswaitingattheporchtotakethecommunionplate,andwhiletheVicarwenttothevestryMrs.CareyandPhilipsettledthemselvesinthevicaragepew.Mrs.Careyplacedinfrontofherthesixpennybitshewasaccustomedtoputintheplate,andgavePhilipthreepenceforthesamepurpose.Thechurchfilledupgraduallyandtheservicebegan.

Philipgrewboredduringthesermon,butifhefidgettedMrs.Careyputagentlehandonhisarmandlookedathimreproachfully.HeregainedinterestwhenthefinalhymnwassungandMr.Gravespassedroundwiththeplate.

WheneveryonehadgoneMrs.CareywentintoMissGraves'pewtohaveafew

wordswithherwhiletheywerewaitingforthegentlemen,andPhilipwenttothevestry.Hisuncle,thecurate,andMr.Graveswerestillintheirsurplices.Mr.Careygavehimtheremainsoftheconsecratedbreadandtoldhimhemighteatit.Hehadbeenaccustomedtoeatithimself,asitseemedblasphemoustothrowitaway,butPhilip'skeenappetiterelievedhimfromtheduty.Thentheycountedthemoney.Itconsistedofpennies,sixpencesandthreepennybits.Therewerealwaystwosingleshillings,oneputintheplatebytheVicarandtheotherbyMr.Graves;andsometimestherewasaflorin.Mr.GravestoldtheVicarwhohadgiventhis.ItwasalwaysastrangertoBlackstable,andMr.Careywonderedwhohewas.ButMissGraveshadobservedtherashactandwasabletotellMrs.CareythatthestrangercamefromLondon,wasmarriedandhadchildren.DuringthedrivehomeMrs.Careypassedtheinformationon,andtheVicarmadeuphis

mindtocallonhimandaskforasubscriptiontotheAdditionalCuratesSociety.Mr.CareyaskedifPhiliphadbehavedproperly;andMrs.CareyremarkedthatMrs.Wigramhadanewmantle,Mr.Coxwasnotinchurch,andsomebodythoughtthatMissPhillipswasengaged.Whentheyreachedthevicaragetheyallfeltthattheydeservedasubstantialdinner.

WhenthiswasoverMrs.Careywenttoherroomtorest,andMr.Careylaydownonthesofainthedrawing-roomforfortywinks.

Theyhadteaatfive,andtheVicarateaneggtosupporthimselffor


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evensong.Mrs.CareydidnotgotothissothatMaryAnnmight,butshereadtheservicethroughandthehymns.Mr.Careywalkedtochurchintheevening,andPhiliplimpedalongbyhisside.Thewalkthroughthedarknessalongthecountryroadstrangelyimpressedhim,andthechurchwithallitslightsinthedistance,cominggraduallynearer,seemedveryfriendly.Atfirsthewasshywithhisuncle,butlittlebylittlegrewusedtohim,andhewouldsliphishandinhisuncle'sandwalkmoreeasilyforthefeelingofprotection.

Theyhadsupperwhentheygothome.Mr.Carey'sslipperswerewaitingforhimonafootstoolinfrontofthefireandbytheirsidePhilip's,onetheshoeofasmallboy,theothermisshapenandodd.Hewasdreadfullytiredwhenhewentuptobed,andhedidnotresistwhenMaryAnnundressedhim.Shekissedhimaftershetuckedhimup,andhebegantoloveher.

VIII

Philiphadledalwaysthesolitarylifeofanonlychild,andhislonelinessatthevicaragewasnogreaterthanithadbeenwhenhismotherlived.HemadefriendswithMaryAnn.Shewasachubbylittlepersonof

thirty-five,thedaughterofafisherman,andhadcometothevicarageateighteen;itwasherfirstplaceandshehadnointentionofleavingit;butsheheldapossiblemarriageasarodoverthetimidheadsofhermasterandmistress.HerfatherandmotherlivedinalittlehouseoffHarbourStreet,andshewenttoseethemonhereveningsout.HerstoriesoftheseatouchedPhilip'simagination,andthenarrowalleysroundtheharbourgrewrichwiththeromancewhichhisyoungfancylentthem.Oneeveningheaskedwhetherhemightgohomewithher;buthisauntwasafraidthathemightcatchsomething,andhisunclesaidthatevilcommunicationscorruptedgoodmanners.Hedislikedthefisherfolk,whowererough,uncouth,andwenttochapel.ButPhilipwasmorecomfortableinthekitchenthaninthedining-room,and,wheneverhecould,hetookhistoysandplayedthere.Hisauntwasnotsorry.Shedidnotlike

disorder,andthoughsherecognisedthatboysmustbeexpectedtobeuntidyshepreferredthatheshouldmakeamessinthekitchen.Ifhefidgetedhisunclewasapttogrowrestlessandsayitwashightimehewenttoschool.Mrs.CareythoughtPhilipveryyoungforthis,andherheartwentouttothemotherlesschild;butherattemptstogainhisaffectionwereawkward,andtheboy,feelingshy,receivedherdemonstrationswithsomuchsullennessthatshewasmortified.Sometimessheheardhisshrillvoiceraisedinlaughterinthekitchen,butwhenshewentin,hegrewsuddenlysilent,andheflusheddarklywhenMaryAnnexplainedthejoke.Mrs.Careycouldnotseeanythingamusinginwhatsheheard,andshesmiledwithconstraint.

"HeseemshappierwithMaryAnnthanwithus,William,"shesaid,whenshe

returnedtohersewing.

"Onecanseehe'sbeenverybadlybroughtup.Hewantslickingintoshape."

OnthesecondSundayafterPhiliparrivedanunluckyincidentoccurred.Mr.Careyhadretiredasusualafterdinnerforalittlesnoozeinthedrawing-room,buthewasinanirritablemoodandcouldnotsleep.JosiahGravesthatmorninghadobjectedstronglytosomecandlestickswithwhichtheVicarhadadornedthealtar.Hehadboughtthemsecond-handin


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Tercanbury,andhethoughttheylookedverywell.ButJosiahGravessaidtheywerepopish.ThiswasatauntthatalwaysarousedtheVicar.HehadbeenatOxfordduringthemovementwhichendedinthesecessionfromtheEstablishedChurchofEdwardManning,andhefeltacertainsympathyfortheChurchofRome.Hewouldwillinglyhavemadetheservicemoreornatethanhadbeenusualinthelow-churchparishofBlackstable,andinhissecretsoulheyearnedforprocessionsandlightedcandles.Hedrewthelineatincense.Hehatedthewordprotestant.HecalledhimselfaCatholic.HewasaccustomedtosaythatPapistsrequiredanepithet,theywereRomanCatholic;buttheChurchofEnglandwasCatholicinthebest,thefullest,andthenoblestsenseoftheterm.Hewaspleasedtothinkthathisshavenfacegavehimthelookofapriest,andinhisyouthhehadpossessedanasceticairwhichaddedtotheimpression.HeoftenrelatedthatononeofhisholidaysinBoulogne,oneofthoseholidaysuponwhichhiswifeforeconomy'ssakedidnotaccompanyhim,whenhewassittinginachurch,thecurehadcomeuptohimandinvitedhimtopreachasermon.Hedismissedhiscurateswhentheymarried,havingdecidedviewsonthecelibacyoftheunbeneficedclergy.ButwhenatanelectiontheLiberalshadwrittenonhisgardenfenceinlargeblueletters:ThiswaytoRome,hehadbeenveryangry,andthreatenedtoprosecutetheleadersoftheLiberalpartyinBlackstable.HemadeuphismindnowthatnothingJosiahGravessaidwouldinducehimtoremovethecandlesticksfromthealtar,andhemutteredBismarcktohimselfonceortwiceirritably.

Suddenlyheheardanunexpectednoise.Hepulledthehandkerchiefoffhisface,gotupfromthesofaonwhichhewaslying,andwentintothedining-room.Philipwasseatedonthetablewithallhisbricksaroundhim.Hehadbuiltamonstrouscastle,andsomedefectinthefoundationhadjustbroughtthestructuredowninnoisyruin.

"Whatareyoudoingwiththosebricks,Philip?Youknowyou'renotallowedtoplaygamesonSunday."

Philipstaredathimforamomentwithfrightenedeyes,and,ashishabitwas,flusheddeeply.

"Ialwaysusedtoplayathome,"heanswered.

"I'msureyourdearmammaneverallowedyoutodosuchawickedthingasthat."

Philipdidnotknowitwaswicked;butifitwas,hedidnotwishittobesupposedthathismotherhadconsentedtoit.Hehunghisheadanddidnotanswer.

"Don'tyouknowit'svery,verywickedtoplayonSunday?Whatd'yousupposeit'scalledthedayofrestfor?You'regoingtochurchtonight,andhowcanyoufaceyourMakerwhenyou'vebeenbreakingoneofHislawsintheafternoon?"

Mr.Careytoldhimtoputthebricksawayatonce,andstoodoverhimwhilePhilipdidso.

"You'reaverynaughtyboy,"herepeated."Thinkofthegriefyou'recausingyourpoormotherinheaven."

Philipfeltinclinedtocry,buthehadaninstinctivedisinclinationtolettingotherpeopleseehistears,andheclenchedhisteethtopreventthesobsfromescaping.Mr.Careysatdowninhisarm-chairandbeganto


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turnoverthepagesofabook.Philipstoodatthewindow.ThevicaragewassetbackfromthehighroadtoTercanbury,andfromthedining-roomonesawasemicircularstripoflawnandthenasfarasthehorizongreenfields.Sheepweregrazinginthem.Theskywasforlornandgray.Philipfeltinfinitelyunhappy.

PresentlyMaryAnncameintolaythetea,andAuntLouisadescendedthestairs.

"Haveyouhadanicelittlenap,William?"sheasked.

"No,"heanswered."PhilipmadesomuchnoisethatIcouldn'tsleepawink."

Thiswasnotquiteaccurate,forhehadbeenkeptawakebyhisownthoughts;andPhilip,listeningsullenly,reflectedthathehadonlymadeanoiseonce,andtherewasnoreasonwhyhisuncleshouldnothavesleptbeforeorafter.WhenMrs.CareyaskedforanexplanationtheVicarnarratedthefacts.

"Hehasn'tevensaidhewassorry,"hefinished.

"Oh,Philip,I'msureyou'resorry,"saidMrs.Carey,anxiousthatthechildshouldnotseemwickedertohisunclethanneedbe.

Philipdidnotreply.Hewentonmunchinghisbreadandbutter.Hedidnotknowwhatpoweritwasinhimthatpreventedhimfrommakinganyexpressionofregret.Hefelthisearstingling,hewasalittleinclinedtocry,butnowordwouldissuefromhislips.

"Youneedn'tmakeitworsebysulking,"saidMr.Carey.

Teawasfinishedinsilence.Mrs.CareylookedatPhilipsurreptitiouslynowandthen,buttheVicarelaboratelyignoredhim.WhenPhilipsawhisunclegoupstairstogetreadyforchurchhewentintothehallandgothishatandcoat,butwhentheVicarcamedownstairsandsawhim,hesaid:

"Idon'twishyoutogotochurchtonight,Philip.Idon'tthinkyou'reinaproperframeofmindtoentertheHouseofGod."

Philipdidnotsayaword.Hefeltitwasadeephumiliationthatwasplaceduponhim,andhischeeksreddened.Hestoodsilentlywatchinghisuncleputonhisbroadhatandhisvoluminouscloak.Mrs.Careyasusualwenttothedoortoseehimoff.ThensheturnedtoPhilip.

"Nevermind,Philip,youwon'tbeanaughtyboynextSunday,willyou,andthenyourunclewilltakeyoutochurchwithhimintheevening."

Shetookoffhishatandcoat,andledhimintothedining-room.

"ShallyouandIreadtheservicetogether,Philip,andwe'llsingthehymnsattheharmonium.Wouldyoulikethat?"

Philipshookhisheaddecidedly.Mrs.Careywastakenaback.Ifhewouldnotreadtheeveningservicewithhershedidnotknowwhattodowithhim.

"Thenwhatwouldyouliketodountilyourunclecomesback?"sheaskedhelplessly.


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Philipbrokehissilenceatlast.

"Iwanttobeleftalone,"hesaid.

"Philip,howcanyousayanythingsounkind?Don'tyouknowthatyouruncleandIonlywantyourgood?Don'tyoulovemeatall?"

"Ihateyou.Iwishyouwasdead."

Mrs.Careygasped.Hesaidthewordssosavagelythatitgaveherquiteastart.Shehadnothingtosay.Shesatdowninherhusband'schair;andasshethoughtofherdesiretolovethefriendless,crippledboyandhereagerwishthatheshouldloveher--shewasabarrenwomanand,eventhoughitwasclearlyGod'swillthatsheshouldbechildless,shecouldscarcelybeartolookatlittlechildrensometimes,herheartachedso--thetearsrosetohereyesandonebyone,slowly,rolleddownhercheeks.Philipwatchedherinamazement.Shetookoutherhandkerchief,andnowshecriedwithoutrestraint.SuddenlyPhiliprealisedthatshewascryingbecauseofwhathehadsaid,andhewassorry.Hewentuptohersilentlyandkissedher.Itwasthefirstkisshehadevergivenherwithoutbeingasked.Andthepoorlady,sosmallinherblacksatin,shrivelledupandsallow,withherfunnycorkscrewcurls,tookthelittleboyonherlapandputherarmsaroundhimandweptasthoughherheartwouldbreak.Buthertearswerepartlytearsofhappiness,forshefelt

thatthestrangenessbetweenthemwasgone.Shelovedhimnowwithanewlovebecausehehadmadehersuffer.

IX

OnthefollowingSunday,whentheVicarwasmakinghispreparationstogointothedrawing-roomforhisnap--alltheactionsofhislifewereconductedwithceremony--andMrs.Careywasabouttogoupstairs,Philipasked:

"WhatshallIdoifI'mnotallowedtoplay?"

"Can'tyousitstillforonceandbequiet?"

"Ican'tsitstilltilltea-time."

Mr.Careylookedoutofthewindow,butitwascoldandraw,andhecouldnotsuggestthatPhilipshouldgointothegarden.

"Iknowwhatyoucando.Youcanlearnbyheartthecollectfortheday."

Hetooktheprayer-bookwhichwasusedforprayersfromtheharmonium,andturnedthepagestillhecametotheplacehewanted.

"It'snotalongone.IfyoucansayitwithoutamistakewhenIcomeintoteayoushallhavethetopofmyegg."

Mrs.CareydrewupPhilip'schairtothedining-roomtable--theyhadboughthimahighchairbynow--andplacedthebookinfrontofhim.

"Thedevilfindsworkforidlehandstodo,"saidMr.Carey.

Heputsomemorecoalsonthefiresothatthereshouldbeacheerful


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blazewhenhecameintotea,andwentintothedrawing-room.Heloosenedhiscollar,arrangedthecushions,andsettledhimselfcomfortablyonthesofa.Butthinkingthedrawing-roomalittlechilly,Mrs.Careybroughthimarugfromthehall;sheputitoverhislegsandtuckeditroundhisfeet.Shedrewtheblindssothatthelightshouldnotoffendhiseyes,andsincehehadclosedthemalreadywentoutoftheroomontiptoe.TheVicarwasatpeacewithhimselftoday,andintenminuteshewasasleep.Hesnoredsoftly.

ItwastheSixthSundayafterEpiphany,andthecollectbeganwiththewords:OGod,whoseblessedSonwasmanifestedthathemightdestroytheworksofthedevil,andmakeusthesonsofGod,andheirsofEternallife.Philipreaditthrough.Hecouldmakenosenseofit.Hebegansayingthewordsaloudtohimself,butmanyofthemwereunknowntohim,andtheconstructionofthesentencewasstrange.Hecouldnotgetmorethantwolinesinhishead.Andhisattentionwasconstantlywandering:therewerefruittreestrainedonthewallsofthevicarage,andalongtwigbeatnowandthenagainstthewindowpane;sheepgrazedstolidlyinthefieldbeyondthegarden.Itseemedasthoughtherewereknotsinsidehisbrain.Thenpanicseizedhimthathewouldnotknowthewordsbytea-time,andhekeptonwhisperingthemtohimselfquickly;hedidnottrytounderstand,butmerelytogetthemparrot-likeintohismemory.

Mrs.Careycouldnotsleepthatafternoon,andbyfouro'clockshewasso

wideawakethatshecamedownstairs.ShethoughtshewouldhearPhiliphiscollectsothatheshouldmakenomistakeswhenhesaidittohisuncle.Hisunclethenwouldbepleased;hewouldseethattheboy'sheartwasintherightplace.ButwhenMrs.Careycametothedining-roomandwasabouttogoin,sheheardasoundthatmadeherstopsuddenly.Herheartgavealittlejump.Sheturnedawayandquietlyslippedoutofthefront-door.Shewalkedroundthehousetillshecametothedining-roomwindowandthencautiouslylookedin.Philipwasstillsittingonthechairshehadputhimin,buthisheadwasonthetableburiedinhisarms,andhewassobbingdesperately.Shesawtheconvulsivemovementofhisshoulders.Mrs.Careywasfrightened.Athingthathadalwaysstruckheraboutthechildwasthatheseemedsocollected.Shehadneverseenhimcry.Andnowsherealisedthathiscalmnesswassomeinstinctiveshameofshowinghis

fillings:hehidhimselftoweep.

Withoutthinkingthatherhusbanddislikedbeingwakenedsuddenly,sheburstintothedrawing-room.

"William,William,"shesaid."Theboy'scryingasthoughhisheartwouldbreak."

Mr.Careysatupanddisentangledhimselffromtherugabouthislegs.

"What'shegottocryabout?"

"Idon'tknow....Oh,William,wecan'tlettheboybeunhappy.D'you

thinkit'sourfault?Ifwe'dhadchildrenwe'dhaveknownwhattodo."

Mr.Careylookedatherinperplexity.Hefeltextraordinarilyhelpless.

"Hecan'tbecryingbecauseIgavehimthecollecttolearn.It'snotmorethantenlines."

"Don'tyouthinkImighttakehimsomepicturebookstolookat,William?TherearesomeoftheHolyLand.Therecouldn'tbeanythingwronginthat."


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"Verywell,Idon'tmind."

Mrs.Careywentintothestudy.TocollectbookswasMr.Carey'sonlypassion,andheneverwentintoTercanburywithoutspendinganhourortwointhesecond-handshop;healwaysbroughtbackfourorfivemustyvolumes.Heneverreadthem,forhehadlonglostthehabitofreading,buthelikedtoturnthepages,lookattheillustrationsiftheywereillustrated,andmendthebindings.Hewelcomedwetdaysbecauseonthemhecouldstayathomewithoutpangsofconscienceandspendtheafternoonwithwhiteofeggandaglue-pot,patchinguptheRussialeatherofsomebatteredquarto.Hehadmanyvolumesofoldtravels,withsteelengravings,andMrs.CareyquicklyfoundtwowhichdescribedPalestine.ShecoughedelaboratelyatthedoorsothatPhilipshouldhavetimetocomposehimself,shefeltthathewouldbehumiliatedifshecameuponhiminthemidstofhistears,thensherattledthedoorhandle.WhenshewentinPhilipwasporingovertheprayer-book,hidinghiseyeswithhishandssothatshemightnotseehehadbeencrying.

"Doyouknowthecollectyet?"shesaid.

Hedidnotanswerforamoment,andshefeltthathedidnottrusthisvoice.Shewasoddlyembarrassed.

"Ican'tlearnitbyheart,"hesaidatlast,withagasp.

"Oh,well,nevermind,"shesaid."Youneedn't.I'vegotsomepicturebooksforyoutolookat.Comeandsitonmylap,andwe'lllookatthemtogether."

Philipslippedoffhischairandlimpedovertoher.Helookeddownsothatsheshouldnotseehiseyes.Sheputherarmsroundhim.

"Look,"shesaid,"that'stheplacewhereourblessedLordwasborn."

SheshowedhimanEasterntownwithflatroofsandcupolasandminarets.Intheforegroundwasagroupofpalm-trees,andunderthemwereresting

twoArabsandsomecamels.Philippassedhishandoverthepictureasifhewantedtofeelthehousesandtheloosehabilimentsofthenomads.

"Readwhatitsays,"heasked.

Mrs.Careyinherevenvoicereadtheoppositepage.ItwasaromanticnarrativeofsomeEasterntravellerofthethirties,pompousmaybe,butfragrantwiththeemotionwithwhichtheEastcametothegenerationthatfollowedByronandChateaubriand.InamomentortwoPhilipinterruptedher.

"Iwanttoseeanotherpicture."

WhenMaryAnncameinandMrs.Careyrosetohelpherlaythecloth.Philiptookthebookinhishandsandhurriedthroughtheillustrations.Itwaswithdifficultythathisauntinducedhimtoputthebookdownfortea.Hehadforgottenhishorriblestruggletogetthecollectbyheart;hehadforgottenhistears.Nextdayitwasraining,andheaskedforthebookagain.Mrs.Careygaveithimjoyfully.Talkingoverhisfuturewithherhusbandshehadfoundthatbothdesiredhimtotakeorders,andthiseagernessforthebookwhichdescribedplaceshallowedbythepresenceofJesusseemedagoodsign.Itlookedasthoughtheboy'smindaddresseditselfnaturallytoholythings.Butinadayortwoheaskedformore


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books.Mr.Careytookhimintohisstudy,showedhimtheshelfinwhichhekeptillustratedworks,andchoseforhimonethatdealtwithRome.Philiptookitgreedily.Thepicturesledhimtoanewamusement.Hebegantoreadthepagebeforeandthepageaftereachengravingtofindoutwhatitwasabout,andsoonhelostallinterestinhistoys.

Then,whennoonewasnear,hetookoutbooksforhimself;andperhapsbecausethefirstimpressiononhismindwasmadebyanEasterntown,hefoundhischiefamusementinthosewhichdescribedtheLevant.Hisheartbeatwithexcitementatthepicturesofmosquesandrichpalaces;buttherewasone,inabookonConstantinople,whichpeculiarlystirredhisimagination.ItwascalledtheHalloftheThousandColumns.ItwasaByzantinecistern,whichthepopularfancyhadendowedwithfantasticvastness;andthelegendwhichhereadtoldthataboatwasalwaysmooredattheentrancetotempttheunwary,butnotravellerventuringintothedarknesshadeverbeenseenagain.AndPhilipwonderedwhethertheboatwentonforeverthroughonepillaredalleyafteranotherorcameatlasttosomestrangemansion.

Onedayagoodfortunebefellhim,forhehituponLane'stranslationofTheThousandNightsandaNight.Hewascapturedfirstbytheillustrations,andthenhebegantoread,tostartwith,thestoriesthatdealtwithmagic,andthentheothers;andthosehelikedhereadagainandagain.Hecouldthinkofnothingelse.Heforgotthelifeabouthim.

Hehadtobecalledtwoorthreetimesbeforehewouldcometohisdinner.Insensiblyheformedthemostdelightfulhabitintheworld,thehabitofreading:hedidnotknowthatthushewasprovidinghimselfwitharefugefromallthedistressoflife;hedidnotknoweitherthathewascreatingforhimselfanunrealworldwhichwouldmaketherealworldofeverydayasourceofbitterdisappointment.Presentlyhebegantoreadotherthings.Hisbrainwasprecocious.Hisuncleandaunt,seeingthatheoccupiedhimselfandneitherworriednormadeanoise,ceasedtotroublethemselvesabouthim.Mr.Careyhadsomanybooksthathedidnotknowthem,andashereadlittleheforgottheoddlotshehadboughtatonetimeandanotherbecausetheywerecheap.Haphazardamongthesermonsandhomilies,thetravels,thelivesoftheSaints,theFathers,thehistoriesofthechurch,wereold-fashionednovels;andthesePhilipatlast

discovered.Hechosethembytheirtitles,andthefirsthereadwasTheLancashireWitches,andthenhereadTheAdmirableCrichton,andthenmanymore.Wheneverhestartedabookwithtwosolitarytravellersridingalongthebrinkofadesperateravineheknewhewassafe.

Thesummerwascomenow,andthegardener,anoldsailor,madehimahammockandfixeditupforhiminthebranchesofaweepingwillow.Andhereforlonghourshelay,hiddenfromanyonewhomightcometothevicarage,reading,readingpassionately.TimepassedanditwasJuly;Augustcame:onSundaysthechurchwascrowdedwithstrangers,andthecollectionattheoffertoryoftenamountedtotwopounds.NeithertheVicarnorMrs.Careywentoutofthegardenmuchduringthisperiod;fortheydislikedstrangefaces,andtheylookeduponthevisitorsfromLondon

withaversion.Thehouseoppositewastakenforsixweeksbyagentlemanwhohadtwolittleboys,andhesentintoaskifPhilipwouldliketogoandplaywiththem;butMrs.Careyreturnedapoliterefusal.ShewasafraidthatPhilipwouldbecorruptedbylittleboysfromLondon.Hewasgoingtobeaclergyman,anditwasnecessarythatheshouldbepreservedfromcontamination.ShelikedtoseeinhimaninfantSamuel.

X


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TheCareysmadeuptheirmindstosendPhiliptoKing'sSchoolatTercanbury.Theneighbouringclergysenttheirsonsthere.ItwasunitedbylongtraditiontotheCathedral:itsheadmasterwasanhonoraryCanon,andapastheadmasterwastheArchdeacon.BoyswereencouragedtheretoaspiretoHolyOrders,andtheeducationwassuchasmightprepareanhonestladtospendhislifeinGod'sservice.Apreparatoryschoolwasattachedtoit,andtothisitwasarrangedthatPhilipshouldgo.Mr.CareytookhimintoTercanburyoneThursdayafternoontowardstheendofSeptember.AlldayPhiliphadbeenexcitedandratherfrightened.HeknewlittleofschoollifebutwhathehadreadinthestoriesofTheBoy'sOwnPaper.HehadalsoreadEric,orLittlebyLittle.

WhentheygotoutofthetrainatTercanbury,Philipfeltsickwithapprehension,andduringthedriveintothetownsatpaleandsilent.Thehighbrickwallinfrontoftheschoolgaveitthelookofaprison.Therewasalittledoorinit,whichopenedontheirringing;andaclumsy,untidymancameoutandfetchedPhilip'stintrunkandhisplay-box.Theywereshownintothedrawing-room;itwasfilledwithmassive,uglyfurniture,andthechairsofthesuitewereplacedroundthewallswithaforbiddingrigidity.Theywaitedfortheheadmaster.

"What'sMr.Watsonlike?"askedPhilip,afterawhile.

"You'llseeforyourself."

Therewasanotherpause.Mr.Careywonderedwhytheheadmasterdidnotcome.PresentlyPhilipmadeaneffortandspokeagain.

"TellhimI'vegotaclub-foot,"hesaid.

BeforeMr.CareycouldspeakthedoorburstopenandMr.Watsonsweptintotheroom.ToPhilipheseemedgigantic.Hewasamanofoversixfeethigh,andbroad,withenormoushandsandagreatredbeard;hetalkedloudlyinajovialmanner;buthisaggressivecheerfulnessstruckterrorinPhilip'sheart.HeshookhandswithMr.Carey,andthentookPhilip's

smallhandinhis.

"Well,youngfellow,areyougladtocometoschool?"heshouted.

Philipreddenedandfoundnowordtoanswer.

"Howoldareyou?"

"Nine,"saidPhilip.

"Youmustsaysir,"saidhisuncle.

"Iexpectyou'vegotagoodlottolearn,"theheadmasterbellowed

cheerily.

Togivetheboyconfidencehebegantoticklehimwithroughfingers.Philip,feelingshyanduncomfortable,squirmedunderhistouch.

"I'veputhiminthesmalldormitoryforthepresent....You'lllikethat,won'tyou?"headdedtoPhilip."Onlyeightofyouinthere.Youwon'tfeelsostrange."

Thenthedooropened,andMrs.Watsoncamein.Shewasadarkwomanwith


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blackhair,neatlypartedinthemiddle.Shehadcuriouslythicklipsandasmallroundnose.Hereyeswerelargeandblack.Therewasasingularcoldnessinherappearance.Sheseldomspokeandsmiledmoreseldomstill.HerhusbandintroducedMr.Careytoher,andthengavePhilipafriendlypushtowardsher.

"Thisisanewboy,Helen,Hisname'sCarey."

WithoutawordsheshookhandswithPhilipandthensatdown,notspeaking,whiletheheadmasteraskedMr.CareyhowmuchPhilipknewandwhatbookshehadbeenworkingwith.TheVicarofBlackstablewasalittleembarrassedbyMr.Watson'sboisterousheartiness,andinamomentortwogotup.

"IthinkI'dbetterleavePhilipwithyounow."

"That'sallright,"saidMr.Watson."He'llbesafewithme.He'llgetonlikeahouseonfire.Won'tyou,youngfellow?"

WithoutwaitingforananswerfromPhilipthebigmanburstintoagreatbellowoflaughter.Mr.CareykissedPhilipontheforeheadandwentaway.

"Comealong,youngfellow,"shoutedMr.Watson."I'llshowyoutheschool-room."

Hesweptoutofthedrawing-roomwithgiantstrides,andPhiliphurriedlylimpedbehindhim.Hewastakenintoalong,bareroomwithtwotablesthatranalongitswholelength;oneachsideofthemwerewoodenforms.

"Nobodymuchhereyet,"saidMr.Watson."I'lljustshowyoutheplayground,andthenI'llleaveyoutoshiftforyourself."

Mr.Watsonledtheway.Philipfoundhimselfinalargeplay-groundwithhighbrickwallsonthreesidesofit.OnthefourthsidewasanironrailingthroughwhichyousawavastlawnandbeyondthissomeofthebuildingsofKing'sSchool.Onesmallboywaswanderingdisconsolately,kickingupthegravelashewalked.

"Hulloa,Venning,"shoutedMr.Watson."Whendidyouturnup?"

Thesmallboycameforwardandshookhands.

"Here'sanewboy.He'solderandbiggerthanyou,sodon'tyoubullyhim."

Theheadmasterglaredamicablyatthetwochildren,fillingthemwithfearbytheroarofhisvoice,andthenwithaguffawleftthem.

"What'syourname?"

"Carey."

"What'syourfather?"

"He'sdead."

"Oh!Doesyourmotherwash?"

"Mymother'sdead,too."


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Philipthoughtthisanswerwouldcausetheboyacertainawkwardness,butVenningwasnottobeturnedfromhisfacetiousnessforsolittle.

"Well,didshewash?"hewenton.

"Yes,"saidPhilipindignantly.

"Shewasawasherwomanthen?"

"No,shewasn't."

"Thenshedidn'twash."

Thelittleboycrowedwithdelightatthesuccessofhisdialectic.ThenhecaughtsightofPhilip'sfeet.

"What'sthematterwithyourfoot?"

Philipinstinctivelytriedtowithdrawitfromsight.Hehiditbehindtheonewhichwaswhole.

"I'vegotaclub-foot,"heanswered.

"Howdidyougetit?"

"I'vealwayshadit."

"Let'shavealook."

"No."

"Don'tthen."

ThelittleboyaccompaniedthewordswithasharpkickonPhilip'sshin,whichPhilipdidnotexpectandthuscouldnotguardagainst.Thepainwassogreatthatitmadehimgasp,butgreaterthanthepainwasthesurprise.HedidnotknowwhyVenningkickedhim.Hehadnotthepresence

ofmindtogivehimablackeye.Besides,theboywassmallerthanhe,andhehadreadinTheBoy'sOwnPaperthatitwasameanthingtohitanyonesmallerthanyourself.WhilePhilipwasnursinghisshinathirdboyappeared,andhistormentorlefthim.Inalittlewhilehenoticedthatthepairweretalkingabouthim,andhefelttheywerelookingathisfeet.Hegrewhotanduncomfortable.

Butothersarrived,adozentogether,andthenmore,andtheybegantotalkabouttheirdoingsduringtheholidays,wheretheyhadbeen,andwhatwonderfulcrickettheyhadplayed.Afewnewboysappeared,andwiththesepresentlyPhilipfoundhimselftalking.Hewasshyandnervous.Hewasanxioustomakehimselfpleasant,buthecouldnotthinkofanythingtosay.Hewasaskedagreatmanyquestionsandansweredthemallquite

willingly.Oneboyaskedhimwhetherhecouldplaycricket.

"No,"answeredPhilip."I'vegotaclub-foot."

Theboylookeddownquicklyandreddened.Philipsawthathefelthehadaskedanunseemlyquestion.HewastooshytoapologiseandlookedatPhilipawkwardly.


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XI

NextmorningwhentheclangingofabellawokePhiliphelookedroundhiscubicleinastonishment.Thenavoicesangout,andherememberedwherehewas.

"Areyouawake,Singer?"

Thepartitionsofthecubiclewereofpolishedpitch-pine,andtherewasagreencurtaininfront.Inthosedaystherewaslittlethoughtofventilation,andthewindowswereclosedexceptwhenthedormitorywasairedinthemorning.

Philipgotupandkneltdowntosayhisprayers.Itwasacoldmorning,andheshiveredalittle;buthehadbeentaughtbyhisunclethathisprayersweremoreacceptabletoGodifhesaidtheminhisnightshirtthanifhewaitedtillhewasdressed.Thisdidnotsurprisehim,forhewasbeginningtorealisethathewasthecreatureofaGodwhoappreciatedthediscomfortofhisworshippers.Thenhewashed.Thereweretwobathsforthefiftyboarders,andeachboyhadabathonceaweek.Therestofhiswashingwasdoneinasmallbasinonawash-stand,whichwiththebedandachair,madeupthefurnitureofeachcubicle.Theboyschattedgailywhiletheydressed.Philipwasallears.Thenanotherbellsounded,and

theyrandownstairs.Theytooktheirseatsontheformsoneachsideofthetwolongtablesintheschool-room;andMr.Watson,followedbyhiswifeandtheservants,cameinandsatdown.Mr.Watsonreadprayersinanimpressivemanner,andthesupplicationsthunderedoutinhisloudvoiceasthoughtheywerethreatspersonallyaddressedtoeachboy.Philiplistenedwithanxiety.ThenMr.WatsonreadachapterfromtheBible,andtheservantstroopedout.Inamomenttheuntidyyouthbroughtintwolargepotsofteaandonasecondjourneyimmensedishesofbreadandbutter.

Philiphadasqueamishappetite,andthethickslabsofpoorbutteronthebreadturnedhisstomach,buthesawotherboysscrapingitoffandfollowedtheirexample.Theyallhadpottedmeatsandsuchlike,which

theyhadbroughtintheirplay-boxes;andsomehad'extras,'eggsorbacon,uponwhichMr.Watsonmadeaprofit.WhenhehadaskedMr.CareywhetherPhilipwastohavethese,Mr.Careyrepliedthathedidnotthinkboysshouldbespoilt.Mr.Watsonquiteagreedwithhim--heconsiderednothingwasbetterthanbreadandbutterforgrowinglads--butsomeparents,undulypamperingtheiroffspring,insistedonit.

Philipnoticedthat'extras'gaveboysacertainconsiderationandmadeuphismind,whenhewrotetoAuntLouisa,toaskforthem.

Afterbreakfasttheboyswanderedoutintotheplay-ground.Heretheday-boysweregraduallyassembling.Theyweresonsofthelocalclergy,oftheofficersattheDepot,andofsuchmanufacturersormenofbusinessas

theoldtownpossessed.Presentlyabellrang,andtheyalltroopedintoschool.Thisconsistedofalarge,longroomatoppositeendsofwhichtwounder-mastersconductedthesecondandthirdforms,andofasmallerone,leadingoutofit,usedbyMr.Watson,whotaughtthefirstform.Toattachthepreparatorytotheseniorschoolthesethreeclasseswereknownofficially,onspeechdaysandinreports,asupper,middle,andlowersecond.Philipwasputinthelast.Themaster,ared-facedmanwithapleasantvoice,wascalledRice;hehadajollymannerwithboys,andthetimepassedquickly.Philipwassurprisedwhenitwasaquartertoelevenandtheywereletoutfortenminutes'rest.


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Thewholeschoolrushednoisilyintotheplay-ground.Thenewboysweretoldtogointothemiddle,whiletheothersstationedthemselvesalongoppositewalls.TheybegantoplayPigintheMiddle.Theoldboysranfromwalltowallwhilethenewboystriedtocatchthem:whenonewasseizedandthemysticwordssaid--one,two,three,andapigforme--hebecameaprisonerand,turningsides,helpedtocatchthosewhowerestillfree.Philipsawaboyrunningpastandtriedtocatchhim,buthislimpgavehimnochance;andtherunners,takingtheiropportunity,madestraightforthegroundhecovered.ThenoneofthemhadthebrilliantideaofimitatingPhilip'sclumsyrun.Otherboyssawitandbegantolaugh;thentheyallcopiedthefirst;andtheyranroundPhilip,limpinggrotesquely,screamingintheirtreblevoiceswithshrilllaughter.Theylosttheirheadswiththedelightoftheirnewamusement,andchokedwithhelplessmerriment.OneofthemtrippedPhilipupandhefell,heavilyashealwaysfell,andcuthisknee.Theylaughedallthelouderwhenhegotup.Aboypushedhimfrombehind,andhewouldhavefallenagainifanotherhadnotcaughthim.ThegamewasforgottenintheentertainmentofPhilip'sdeformity.Oneoftheminventedanodd,rollinglimpthatstrucktherestassupremelyridiculous,andseveraloftheboyslaydownonthegroundandrolledaboutinlaughter:Philipwascompletelyscared.Hecouldnotmakeoutwhytheywerelaughingathim.Hisheartbeatsothathecouldhardlybreathe,andhewasmorefrightenedthanhehadeverbeeninhislife.Hestoodstillstupidlywhiletheboysranroundhim,

mimickingandlaughing;theyshoutedtohimtotryandcatchthem;buthedidnotmove.Hedidnotwantthemtoseehimrunanymore.Hewasusingallhisstrengthtopreventhimselffromcrying.

Suddenlythebellrang,andtheyalltroopedbacktoschool.Philip'skneewasbleeding,andhewasdustyanddishevelled.ForsomeminutesMr.Ricecouldnotcontrolhisform.Theywereexcitedstillbythestrangenovelty,andPhilipsawoneortwoofthemfurtivelylookingdownathisfeet.Hetuckedthemunderthebench.

Intheafternoontheywentuptoplayfootball,butMr.WatsonstoppedPhiliponthewayoutafterdinner.

"Isupposeyoucan'tplayfootball,Carey?"heaskedhim.

Philipblushedself-consciously.

"No,sir."

"Verywell.You'dbettergouptothefield.Youcanwalkasfarasthat,can'tyou?"

Philiphadnoideawherethefieldwas,butheansweredallthesame.

"Yes,sir."

TheboyswentinchargeofMr.Rice,whoglancedatPhilipandseeinghehadnotchanged,askedwhyhewasnotgoingtoplay.

"Mr.WatsonsaidIneedn't,sir,"saidPhilip.

"Why?"

Therewereboysallroundhim,lookingathimcuriously,andafeelingofshamecameoverPhilip.Helookeddownwithoutanswering.Othersgavethereply.


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"He'sgotaclub-foot,sir."

"Oh,Isee."

Mr.Ricewasquiteyoung;hehadonlytakenhisdegreeayearbefore;andhewassuddenlyembarrassed.Hisinstinctwastobegtheboy'spardon,buthewastooshytodoso.Hemadehisvoicegruffandloud.

"Nowthen,youboys,whatareyouwaitingaboutfor?Getonwithyou."

Someofthemhadalreadystartedandthosethatwereleftnowsetoff,ingroupsoftwoorthree.

"You'dbettercomealongwithme,Carey,"saidthemaster"Youdon'tknowtheway,doyou?"

Philipguessedthekindness,andasobcametohisthroat.

"Ican'tgoveryfast,sir."

"ThenI'llgoveryslow,"saidthemaster,withasmile.

Philip'sheartwentouttothered-faced,commonplaceyoungmanwhosaid

agentlewordtohim.Hesuddenlyfeltlessunhappy.

Butatnightwhentheywentuptobedandwereundressing,theboywhowascalledSingercameoutofhiscubicleandputhisheadinPhilip's.

"Isay,let'slookatyourfoot,"hesaid.

"No,"answeredPhilip.

Hejumpedintobedquickly.

"Don'tsaynotome,"saidSinger."Comeon,Mason."

Theboyinthenextcubiclewaslookingroundthecorner,andatthewordsheslippedin.TheymadeforPhilipandtriedtotearthebed-clothesoffhim,butheheldthemtightly.

"Whycan'tyouleavemealone?"hecried.

SingerseizedabrushandwiththebackofitbeatPhilip'shandsclenchedontheblanket.Philipcriedout.

"Whydon'tyoushowusyourfootquietly?"

"Iwon't."

IndesperationPhilipclenchedhisfistandhittheboywhotormentedhim,buthewasatadisadvantage,andtheboyseizedhisarm.Hebegantoturnit.

"Oh,don't,don't,"saidPhilip."You'llbreakmyarm."

"Stopstillthenandputoutyourfoot."

Philipgaveasobandagasp.Theboygavethearmanotherwrench.Thepainwasunendurable.


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"Allright.I'lldoit,"saidPhilip.

Heputouthisfoot.SingerstillkepthishandonPhilip'swrist.Helookedcuriouslyatthedeformity.

"Isn'titbeastly?"saidMason.

Anothercameinandlookedtoo.

"Ugh,"hesaid,indisgust.

"Myword,itisrum,"saidSinger,makingaface."Isithard?"

Hetoucheditwiththetipofhisforefinger,cautiously,asthoughitweresomethingthathadalifeofitsown.SuddenlytheyheardMr.Watson'sheavytreadonthestairs.TheythrewtheclothesbackonPhilipanddashedlikerabbitsintotheircubicles.Mr.Watsoncameintothedormitory.Raisinghimselfontiptoehecouldseeovertherodthatborethegreencurtain,andhelookedintotwoorthreeofthecubicles.Thelittleboysweresafelyinbed.Heputoutthelightandwentout.

SingercalledouttoPhilip,buthedidnotanswer.Hehadgothisteethinthepillowsothathissobbingshouldbeinaudible.Hewasnotcrying

forthepaintheyhadcausedhim,norforthehumiliationhehadsufferedwhentheylookedathisfoot,butwithrageathimselfbecause,unabletostandthetorture,hehadputouthisfootofhisownaccord.

Andthenhefeltthemiseryofhislife.Itseemedtohischildishmindthatthisunhappinessmustgoonforever.FornoparticularreasonherememberedthatcoldmorningwhenEmmahadtakenhimoutofbedandputhimbesidehismother.Hehadnotthoughtofitoncesinceithappened,butnowheseemedtofeelthewarmthofhismother'sbodyagainsthisandherarmsaroundhim.Suddenlyitseemedtohimthathislifewasadream,hismother'sdeath,andthelifeatthevicarage,andthesetwowretcheddaysatschool,andhewouldawakeinthemorningandbebackagainathome.Histearsdriedashethoughtofit.Hewastoounhappy,itmustbe

nothingbutadream,andhismotherwasalive,andEmmawouldcomeuppresentlyandgotobed.Hefellasleep.

Butwhenheawokenextmorningitwastotheclangingofabell,andthefirstthinghiseyessawwasthegreencurtainofhiscubicle.

XII

AstimewentonPhilip'sdeformityceasedtointerest.Itwasacceptedlikeoneboy'sredhairandanother'sunreasonablecorpulence.But

meanwhilehehadgrownhorriblysensitive.Heneverranifhecouldhelpit,becauseheknewitmadehislimpmoreconspicuous,andheadoptedapeculiarwalk.Hestoodstillasmuchashecould,withhisclub-footbehindtheother,sothatitshouldnotattractnotice,andhewasconstantlyonthelookoutforanyreferencetoit.Becausehecouldnotjoininthegameswhichotherboysplayed,theirliferemainedstrangetohim;heonlyinterestedhimselffromtheoutsideintheirdoings;anditseemedtohimthattherewasabarrierbetweenthemandhim.Sometimestheyseemedtothinkthatitwashisfaultifhecouldnotplayfootball,andhewasunabletomakethemunderstand.Hewasleftagooddealto


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himself.Hehadbeeninclinedtotalkativeness,butgraduallyhebecamesilent.Hebegantothinkofthedifferencebetweenhimselfandothers.

Thebiggestboyinhisdormitory,Singer,tookadisliketohim,andPhilip,smallforhisage,hadtoputupwithagooddealofhardtreatment.Abouthalf-waythroughthetermamaniaranthroughtheschoolforagamecalledNibs.Itwasagamefortwo,playedonatableoraformwithsteelpens.Youhadtopushyournibwiththefinger-nailsoastogetthepointofitoveryouropponent's,whilehemanoeuvredtopreventthisandtogetthepointofhisniboverthebackofyours;whenthisresultwasachievedyoubreathedontheballofyourthumb,pressedithardonthetwonibs,andifyouwereablethentoliftthemwithoutdroppingeither,bothnibsbecameyours.Soonnothingwasseenbutboysplayingthisgame,andthemoreskilfulacquiredvaststoresofnibs.ButinalittlewhileMr.Watsonmadeuphismindthatitwasaformofgambling,forbadethegame,andconfiscatedallthenibsintheboys'possession.Philiphadbeenveryadroit,anditwaswithaheavyheartthathegaveuphiswinning;buthisfingersitchedtoplaystill,andafewdayslater,onhiswaytothefootballfield,hewentintoashopandboughtapennyworthofJpens.Hecarriedthemlooseinhispocketandenjoyedfeelingthem.PresentlySingerfoundoutthathehadthem.Singerhadgivenuphisnibstoo,buthehadkeptbackaverylargeone,calledaJumbo,whichwasalmostunconquerable,andhecouldnotresisttheopportunityofgettingPhilip'sJsoutofhim.ThoughPhilipknewthathe

wasatadisadvantagewithhissmallnibs,hehadanadventurousdispositionandwaswillingtotaketherisk;besides,hewasawarethatSingerwouldnotallowhimtorefuse.Hehadnotplayedforaweekandsatdowntothegamenowwithathrillofexcitement.Helosttwoofhissmallnibsquickly,andSingerwasjubilant,butthethirdtimebysomechancetheJumboslippedroundandPhilipwasabletopushhisJacrossit.Hecrowedwithtriumph.AtthatmomentMr.Watsoncamein.

"Whatareyoudoing?"heasked.

HelookedfromSingertoPhilip,butneitheranswered.

"Don'tyouknowthatI'veforbiddenyoutoplaythatidioticgame?"

Philip'sheartbeatfast.Heknewwhatwascomingandwasdreadfullyfrightened,butinhisfrighttherewasacertainexultation.Hehadneverbeenswished.Ofcourseitwouldhurt,butitwassomethingtoboastaboutafterwards.

"Comeintomystudy."

Theheadmasterturned,andtheyfollowedhimsidebysideSingerwhisperedtoPhilip:

"We'reinforit."

Mr.WatsonpointedtoSinger.

"Bendover,"hesaid.

Philip,verywhite,sawtheboyquiverateachstroke,andafterthethirdheheardhimcryout.Threemorefollowed.

"That'lldo.Getup."

Singerstoodup.Thetearswerestreamingdownhisface.Philipstepped


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forward.Mr.Watsonlookedathimforamoment.

"I'mnotgoingtocaneyou.You'reanewboy.AndIcan'thitacripple.Goaway,bothofyou,anddon'tbenaughtyagain."

Whentheygotbackintotheschool-roomagroupofboys,whohadlearnedinsomemysteriouswaywhatwashappening,werewaitingforthem.TheysetuponSingeratoncewitheagerquestions.Singerfacedthem,hisfaceredwiththepainandmarksoftearsstillonhischeeks.HepointedwithhisheadatPhilip,whowasstandingalittlebehindhim.

"Hegotoffbecausehe'sacripple,"hesaidangrily.

Philipstoodsilentandflushed.Hefeltthattheylookedathimwithcontempt.

"Howmanydidyouget?"oneboyaskedSinger.

Buthedidnotanswer.Hewasangrybecausehehadbeenhurt

"Don'taskmetoplayNibswithyo

Of Human Bondage by Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset), 1874-1965

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Transcript of Of Human Bondage by Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset), 1874-1965