NYs Workbook 2016 - University of Denver · Step 1: Reflecting on 2016 4 Step 2 ... Best Practices...

Thebasisforself-leadershipislearning,andprincipallylearningfromexperience.Reflectionisamajorwayinwhichwelearn.Considersomeofthewaysofreflecting:lookingback,thinkingback,dreaming,journaling,talkingitout,watchinglastweek’sgame,askingforcritiques,goingonretreats….Reflectionisawayofmakinglearningconscious.

-AdaptedfromWarrenBennis,OnBecomingALeader

GregGiesen

NewYearsResolutionsthatStick!

http://www.du.edu/peopledevelopment

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TableofContentsIntroduction 3Step1:Reflectingon2016 4Step2:Transitioningto2017 11Step3:Movingfromresolutionstocommitments 18Step4:Creatingaccountability 23AboutGregGiesen 25

Anoteabouttimerequiredandsetting:

ItiscriticaltospendqualitytimeonSteps1–3.Socritical,infact,thatyou’llneedsome“alonetime”todoso.Ifpossible,scheduleapersonalretreat(4to8hours,awayfromanyandalldistractions)justforyourselfwhereyouhaveuninterruptedtimetothink,toreflect,tolaugh,tocry,towrite,tojournal,orsimplytogetbackintouchwithyourself.TakewhatevertimeyouneedforStep1,Step2,andStep3.Donotrushthroughthisprocess.Thisisnotarace.Thisisnota“HAVETO.”It’sa“GETTO.”Thisisaboutyourlife.Aren’tyouworthafewhours?Step4isequallyimportantasSteps1–3butitisnotastime-bound.



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Introduction

Whyisitwedon’ttakeNewYear’sresolutionsveryseriously?Isitbecausetheword“resolution”hasbecomeassociatedwithsuperficial,loftygoalsthatfadealmostasquicklyasourhangoverfromtheNewYear’sEvecelebration?OrcoulditbethatthereissimplynotimebetweenThanksgivingandNewYearstodoanyseriousgoal-setting,givenalltheholidayparties,familyobligations,andend-of-the-yearworkdeadlinesthatmustbemet?

Theansweris“yes”toboth.Thefactis,NewYear’sresolutionsgetabadrapbecausewedon’ttakethetimetodoathoroughprocessofreflecting,assessing,transitioning,andgoalsetting.Instead,welatchontoanycentralthemethathasbeenbotheringusoflateandturnthatintosomesortofhalf-heartedresolution.Isitnowonderthat80percentofpeoplewhomakeresolutionsonJan.1falloffthewagonbyValentine’sDay,accordingtoMartiHopeGonzales,anassociateprofessorofpsychologyattheUniversityofMinnesota.

So,howdoyoumakeNewYearsresolutionsthatstick,youask?

Letmeanswerthisintwoways.

First,let’stalkaboutthedifferencebetweenbeinginterestedandbeingcommitted.Whenyouareinterested,youdoit(whateverthatmaybe)whenit’sconvenient.Whenyouarecommitted,youacceptnoexcuses,onlyresults!WhatIneedfromyouisacommitmenttothisprocess.Thatmeansfindingthetimetocompletethefour-stepsoutlinedinthisworkbook.Itmeansenrollingothersinyourefforts,whetherbysharingyourinsightsandresultswiththemorbydoingthefour-stepprocesstogether.Anditmeanscreatingaccountabilityaroundyourcommitmentstoensurelong-lastingsuccess.

Isthissomethingyouarewillingtodo?

Nextisthefour-stepprocessitself.InSteps1&2,youwillusetheNewYear’sQuestionsprovidedaftereachsection.Byansweringasmanyofthesequestionsasyoucan,you’llgettheopportunitytoreflectuponthispastyearandapplywhatyoulearnedtotheupcomingyear.Thisdual-phasedreflectionprocessisagreatwaytobothhonorthepastandembracethefuture.Step3involvestakingyourinitialresolutionsandgoalsandturningthemintomeasurablecommitments.Andfinally,Step4isallaboutcreatingaccountabilityaroundyourcommitmentsbyfollowingtheBestPracticessuggestionsoutlinedinthisworkbook.

Mostimportantly,you’vealreadytakenafirststepbydownloadingthispacket.Nowlet’sgettoworkandcreateNewYearsresolutionsthatstick!-GregGiesengreg.giesen@du.edu



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Step1–Reflectingon2016

Theendoftheyearisaperfecttimeforsomepersonalreflection.Itisanopportunetimetolookoverthepastyearwithgratitudeandappreciation,notingthehighpoints,thelowpoints,andallthelearningin-between.

Attheendofthissectionarethirtyquestionsthatfocusonthispastyear.

Yourtask:

1) Reviewthe30questionsthatfocusonthispastyearandselectatleasttenthatyou’dliketospendsometimereflectingon,thinkingabout,orsimplyanswering.

2) Usinganotepadorajournal,writedownanythoughtsand/orfeelingsthat

comeupasyougothrougheachquestion.

3) Onceyou’vecompletedyourassessmentofthispastyear,reviewyournotesandlookforanypatterns,reoccurringthemes,orinsightsthatparticularlystandout.Theadditionalquestionsthatfollowshouldhelp.

4) TakeabreakbeforegoingontoStep2.

WhyStep1issoimportant:Everyyearofyourlifeislikeachapterinyourownautobiography.Makeyourlifeabestsellerbycapturingasmuchasyoucanfromeachandeveryyear.Itwillnotonlygiveyouagreatersenseofself,butitwillundoubtedlymakeeachsuccessiveyearthatmuchbetter.

Additionalquestions:

1. Didanyemotionsorfeelingssurfaceforyouduringthisprocess?Ifso,whatinsightmightthathaveforyou?

2. Adefiningmomentisamomentintimethathadalife-changingimpactonyou.Didyouhaveadefiningmomentthispastyear?Ifso,whatimpactdidithaveonyou?



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3. Thereisasmuchtolearnfromthegoodthingsthathappentousaswellasthe

badthings.Whatdidyoulearnthemostaboutyourselffromthispastyear?

4. Ifsomeoneaskedyoutosharethethreemostimportantthingsthathappenedthispastyear,whatwouldyoutellthem?

5. Asyoulookoveryournotes,doyouseeanybehavioralpatternsorreoccurringthemesthatstandoutfromthispastyear?

Self-examinationisalwaysthefirststeptochange.-ThomasMann,NobelPrizeWinner



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Questionsforthispastyear...1.Ifyouhadtosummarizethispastyearinthreewords,whatwouldtheybeandwhy?2.What“personal”accomplishmentswereyoumostproudofandwhythispastyear?

3. Whatdidyoulearnmostaboutyourselfthispastyear?4. Whatsurprisedyouthemostthispastyear?5. Whatwasthebiggestchangeyoumadethispastyearandwhy?6. Whatwerethebiggestchallengesyoufacedthispastyearandhowdidyouhandle

them?



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7. Whowerethepeoplewhohadthegreatestimpactonyouthispastyearandhowdid

theyimpactyou?8. What“professional”accomplishmentswereyoumostproudofthispastyearandwhy?9. Whatdidn’tyoudothatyouwishyouhaddonethispastyear?10. Whatfriendshipsmeantthemosttoyouthispastyearandwhy?11. Whatwasoneofthebestdecisionsyoumadethispastyear?12. Ifyoucouldreliveonedayfromthispastyear,whatdaywoulditbeandwhy?



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13. Whatmadeyoulaughthispastyear?Givesomeexamples.14. Whatdidyoudothispastyeartogrowanddevelopyourselfasaperson?15. Whatwasoneofthebiggestrisksyoutookthispastyearandhowdiditturnout?16. Ifyoucouldchangeonethingfromthispastyear,whatwouldyouchangeandwhy?17. Whatwasyourbiggestdisappointmentthispastyear?18. Whatunexpectedobstaclescameupthispastyearandhowdidyoudealwiththem?



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19. Whatwasoneofthemostmeaningfulthingsthispastyearthatsomeonedidforyou?20. Whatwasoneofthemostmeaningfulthingsthispastyearthatyoudidforsomeone

else?21. Whatwasoneofyourfavoriteromantichighlightsfromthispastyear?22. Howareyoudifferentnowthanyouwereayearago?23. Whatwasoneofthemostmeaningfulcomplimentsyoureceivedthispastyear?24. What’sstillincompleteforyoufromthispastyear?



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25. Whatareyoumostthankfulforthispastyear?26. Whatcreatedstressforyouthispastyearandhowdidyoumanageit?27. Whatdidyoudotostayhealthythispastyearandwasiteffective?

28. Whatdidyoudotoplayandhavefunthispastyear?29. Whatareyoumostproudoffromthispastyear?30. Onascaleof1-10(with10beinghigh),howwouldyourateyourselfontheamountof

loveyougaveandreceivedfromthispastyear?

Congratulations!You’vegraduatedtoStep2.



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Step2–Transitioningto2017

Theendoftheyearisalsoatimeforregrouping,recommittingandtransitioningintotheNewYear.Attheendofthissectionarethirtyquestionsthatfocusonthisupcomingyear.

Yourtask:

1) Reviewthe30questionsthatfocusonthisupcomingyearandselectatleasttenthatyou’dliketospendsometimereflectingon,thinkingabout,orsimplyanswering.

2) Usinganotepadorajournal,writedownanythoughts,ideas,orgoalsthat

comeupasyougothrougheachquestion.

3) Onceyou’vecompletedyourquestionsfortheupcomingyear,reviewyournotesandlookforanythingthatcouldpotentiallybecomeaNewYear’sresolution.Theadditionalquestionsthatfollowshouldhelp.

4) TakeabreakbeforegoingontoStep3.

AdditionalQuestions:

1. BasedonyourworkinStep2thusfar,whatdoyouthinkwillbethebiggestchangeyouneedtomakefor2017?

2. Whenyouthinkaboutresolutionsandgoalsettingfortheupcomingyear,areyoufeelingconfident,hopeful,andmotivated,ordoyouleanmoretowardsbeingunsure,anxious,andapprehensive?Pleaseexplain.

3. Completethebalancewheel(onthefollowingpage)byfillingineachsection(10beingahighscore):



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QUESTIONS:

1. Fromasatisfaction/fulfillmentperspective,whereareyounowineacharea?2. Wherewouldyouliketobeineacharea?3. Whatdoyouneedtofocusonmostandwhy?



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Questionsforthisupcomingyear...1. Whatwouldyouliketobedifferentinyourlifeayearfromnow?2. What’sthemostobviouspersonalgoaland/orcommitmentyouneedtomakethis

upcomingyear?3. What,ifany,badhabitswouldyouliketoridyourselfofthisupcomingyear?4. Whatunfinishedbusinessdoyouneedtocompletethisupcomingyear?5. Whatwouldyouliketohavemoreofinyourlifethisupcomingyear?6. Whatwouldyouliketohavelessofinyourlifethisupcomingyear?



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7. Whatrelationshipswouldyouliketoimproveuponthisupcomingyear?Whatwould

thatlooklike?8. What’sthebestadviceyoucouldgiveyourselfforthisupcomingyear?9. Whatpersonalchallengesdoyouanticipatethisupcomingyear?What’syourstrategy

forhandlingthese?10. Whatprofessionaland/orcareer-relatedchallengesdoyouanticipatethisupcoming

year?What’syourstrategyforhandlingthese?11. Whatwouldyouliketobemoredisciplinedaboutthisupcomingyear?12. Whatdoyouplantodojustforyouthisupcomingyear?



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13. Whatdoyouplantodotocreateahealthybalancebetweenfamily,friends,workand

playthisupcomingyear?14. Whatpersonalgrowthopportunitiesareyougoingtocreateforyourselfthisupcoming

year?15 Whatcomplimentswouldyoumostwanttohearaboutyourselfthisupcomingyear?16. Whatcouldpossiblypreventyoufromcreatingtheyearaheadthatyoutrulydesire?Is

thereanythingyoucanbegintodonowinordertoavoidthatfromhappening?17. Whatareyoulookingforwardtomostthisupcomingyear?18. Whatareyouapprehensiveaboutthisupcomingyearandwhy?



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19. Whatdoyouplantodotogrowanddevelopyourselfprofessionallythisupcoming

year?Howwillitbenefityou?

20. Whatdoyouplantodotoenhancetheamountofloveandromanceinyourlifethisupcomingyear?

21. Whatphysicalhealthcommitmentsareyouwillingtomaketoyourselfthisupcoming

year?22. Whatneedstobeyourfirstprioritythisupcomingyear?23. Whatsupportareyougoingtoespeciallyneedthisupcomingyearandfromwhom?

24. Whatsupportwillyouneedtobeabletoprovidethisupcomingyearandforwhom?



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25. It’sJanuary1st,2018andyouarestarringatyourselfinthemirror.Asidefromsome

possiblebloodshoteyesfromtoomuchcelebratingthenightbefore,describetheessenceofthepersonyouseeinthemirror.

26. Whatisyourbiggestwishforthisupcomingyearandwhatwoulditlooklikeifitcomes

true?

27. Whatareyougoingtodotohavefunthisupcomingyear?28. Whatrisksdoyouplanontakingthisupcomingyear?

29. Fromaspiritualperspective,what,ifanything,needstobedifferentforyouinthisupcomingyearandwhy?

30. Whatthreewordswouldyouliketorepresenthowthisupcomingyearturnsout?




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Step3–ResolutionstoCommitments

You’venowdonetherequiredpre-worktomoveintotheresolutionstage;onlywearegoingtomakeaslightadjustmentbeforecontinuing.Fromthispointforward,wearegoingtoreplacethewordresolutionwiththewordcommitment.Commitmentrepresentsanundyingdedication,avow,apledge,andapromisetokeepingyourword.Whenyoumakeacommitment,itisnolongerabout“if”butabout“when.”

Additionaladvice:

•Itisimportantthatthecommitmentsyoumakeareyourcommitmentsandnotsomeoneelse’s.Tryingtobecomeabetterlistenerbecauseyoursignificantotherwantsyoutobewon’tbeaseffectiveasyouwantingtobeabetterlistenerinordertoenhanceyourpersonalandprofessionalrelationships.

•Toomanycommitmentswillmuddythewater.Trytokeepyourcommitmentstoaroundfive,giveortake.

•Sincebalanceinourlivesissoimportant,makesureyourcommitmentsreflectbalanceaswell(usetheBalanceWheelonpage12asaguideline).

•Allcommitmentsmustincludeadailyorweeklyactionplan.

Yourtask:

1) Identifyfivecommitmentsthatyouarewillingtomakefortheupcomingyear.

2) UsingtheSMARTcommitmentformula(attheendofthissection),writeoutyourfiveindividualcommitments.

3) Onceyou’vecompletedyourcommitments,youmustalsobreakeach

commitmentdownintodailyand/orweeklyactionitems,usingtheSMARTformulafortheseaswell.Theworksheetthatfollowsshouldhelp.



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Worksheet

1. Myfirstcommitmentfortheupcomingyearis:

SpecificactionitemsthatIwilldoonadaily/weeklybasistodemonstrateandsupportthiscommitmentinclude:

•

•

•

•Possibleobstaclesthatcouldpreventmefromachievingthiscommitment:

•

•

WhatI’lldotocountertheseobstaclesandstaythecoursetowardmycommitment:

•

•

2. Mysecondcommitmentfortheupcomingyearis:


•

•

•


•

•



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•

•

3. Mythirdcommitmentfortheupcomingyearis:


•

•

•


•

•


•

•

4. Myfourthcommitmentfortheupcomingyearis:


•

•

•

•



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Possibleobstaclesthatcouldpreventmefromachievingthiscommitment:

•

•


•

•

5. Myfifthcommitmentfortheupcomingyearis:


•

•

•


•

•


•

•



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CreatingS.M.A.R.T.Commitments

SpecificMeasurable

Attainable

RealisticTimely

Specific-Aspecificcommitmentiswelldefined,clear,andunambiguous.EXAMPLE:Ageneralcommitmentwouldbe,"Getinshape."Butaspecificcommitmentwouldsay,"Jointhehealthclubandworkout4daysaweek."Measurable–Whatgoodisacommitmentthatyoucan'tmeasure?Ifyourcommitmentsarenotmeasurable,youneverknowwhetheryouaremakingprogress.Hence,itisimportantthatyourcommitmentsincludeconcretecriteriaformeasuringprogress.Todetermineifyourcommitmentismeasurable,askquestionssuchas......Howmuch?Howmany?HowwillIknowwhenitisaccomplished?Attainable–Foracommitmenttobeattainable,itneedstoberealisticandachievable.Commitmentsthataresettoohighortooloweventuallyloseappealandbecomeignored.Relevant-Toberelevant,acommitmentmustbebothmeaningfulandbeneficial.Themoremeaningfulacommitmentis,themorededicatedyou’llbetoachievingit.Themorebeneficialacommitmentis,themoremotivatedyou’llbetoseeitthrough.Time-based-Acommitmentshouldbegroundedwithinatimeframe.Withnotimeframetiedtoit,there'snosenseofurgency.Ifyouwanttolose10lbs,whendoyouwanttoloseitby?"Someday"won'twork.Butifyouanchoritwithinatimeframe,"byMay1st",thenyou'vesetyourunconsciousmindintomotiontobeginworkingonthecommitment.




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Step4–CreatingAccountability

CongratulationsoncreatingyourNewYear’scommitments.Thislaststep,CreatingAccountability,iswhatwillultimatelydetermineifyouaresuccessfulornot.

Foranygoalorcommitmenttobesuccessful,itiscriticalthateachofyoucreateasurroundingenvironmentthatnotonlysupportswhatyouaredoingbutthatalsoholdsyouaccountable.ThiscanbedoneinmanywaysandiswhyI’mincludingaBestPracticeslisttohelpyouidentifyaccountabilitymeasuresthatwillworkforyou.Yourtask:

1) Selectaminimumof3separateaccountabilitypracticesfromthelistofBestPracticesbelowthatyouwouldbewillingtocommittofortheupcomingyear.

2) AddanadditionalNewYearscommitmenttoyourlistthatincludesyouraccountabilitypractices.BesuretousetheSMARTformulaforthiscommitmentandactionitemsaswell.

BestPractices(ThefollowinglistofBestPracticeswasderivedfromsuccessfulauthors,lifecoaches,motivationalspeakersandmanagementtrainersacrosstheU.S.):

•AccountabilityTeam.Createyourownaccountabilityteam(3to5members)andgettogetheronceamonthtoshareprogress,updates,andchallengesoneachmember’scommitments.Thekeyistoprovidebothsupportandaccountabilityforeachother.

•LifeCoaching.Ifanaccountabilityteamisnotdoableorifyouprefermoreone-on-onecoachingaroundyourcommitments,signupwithaLifeCoach.

•ShareCommitmentswithThoseMostImpacted.Imaginehowpowerfulitwouldbeifyousharedyourcommitmentswiththepeoplewhoweremostimpactedbythosecommitments.Andimagineifthesepeopleagreedtonotonlysupportyou,buttogiveyouongoingfeedbackalongtheway.Thisisano-brainer!

•Bi-AnnualPersonalRetreat.Takeadayalltoyourselfeverysixmonths(quarterlywouldbeevenbetter)andgetawayfromalldistractionsforthepurposeofassessing,reviewing,critiquing,andtweakingyourNewYearscommitments.Thetruthis,ourlivesarealwayschangingandsotowouldourcommitmentsandpriorities.

•Journaling.Journalingonaregularbasisisagreatwaytostayfocusedonyourcommitmentswhileincreasingself-awareness.Journalingalsoprovidesyouwitharecordoftheyearandgreatlyenhancesthis4-Stepprocess,yearafteryear.



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•Visualization.Visualizingyourcommitmentsinactionisonlysecondbesttoactuallyactinguponyourcommitments.Visualizationisaformofmentalrehearsalthatbuildsself-confidenceandkeepsusinalignmentwithourdesiresandcommitments.

•RewardYourself.Createarewardsystemforyourselfthatacknowledgesincrementalprogresstowardsyourcommitments.

•BecomeanExpert.Thoseofusinthemanagementtrainingfieldknowthatweteachwhatwemostneedtolearn.Becomeanexpertintheareathatyouneedtoexcelthemostinbyreadingbooks,articlesandattendingworkshops.Then,whenyouareready,begininstructingothers.You’llbeamazedatwhatthiscandoforyou.•DailyAffirmations.Okay,maybenotforeveryonebuttheydowork.Why?Becauseaffirmationsareaformofvisualizationandwealreadyknowthatworks.Thinkaboutit.

•WeeklyRituals.EverySundaymorningIsitinmyoutdoorJacuzziandreflectuponthepastweekandtheupcomingweek.IthasactuallybecomeaspiritualadventureovertheyearsformeandIwouldn’ttradethatweeklyritualforanything.Whynotcreateoneforyourself?

•DailyQuestions.Createyourownthought-provokingdailyquestiontoreflectuponeachnightoreachmorning.Let’ssayyourcommitmentistolose25poundsbyApril1st.Anexampleofadailyquestion(s)mightbe:“Whatwentwelltodayregardingmyexerciseprogramandwhatdidn’tgoaswell?WhatcanIlearnfromtodaythatwillhelpmeevenmorefortomorrow?

Somethingassimpleasansweringadailyquestionortwocanhelpmaintainthefocusonyourcommitmentsandprovidecontinuousmotivationtostayoncourse.

Congratulations!You’redone!



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AboutGregGiesen

Bio:GregGiesenisthemanagerofpeopledevelopmentattheUniversityofDenverwhereheprovidesprofessionaldevelopmentandconsultingservicesforfacultyandstaff.WithaMaster’sdegreeinPersonnelServicesandCounselingfromMiamiUniversity,Gregbringsovertwenty-fiveyearsofexperienceincorporateconsulting,training,facilitationandconflictmediation.Inaddition,Gregisa14-yeargraduateschoolprofessoratUCOLandistheauthorofthreebooksonCreatingAuthenticity,includinghislatest,MondaysAt3:AStoryforManagersLearningtoLead.Gregalsospeaksaroundthecountryonauthenticleadershipandhisaward-winningprogram,LeadingFromWithin.AdditionalinformationaboutGregcanbefoundonwww.leadingfromwithin.netoronLinkedInhttp://www.linkedin.com/in/greggiesen. TocontactGreg:[email protected]

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