Notes McEwan’s Atonement tr. de Jaime Zulaika … Ian ''Atonement''-Xx... · Notes McEwan’s...

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Notes McEwans Atonement tr. de Jaime Zulaika

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Atonement

by

Ian McEwan

Vintage, London, 2002

To Annalena

Dear Miss Morland, considerthe dreadful nature of the suspicionsyou have entertained. What haveyou been judging from? Rememberthe country and the age in which welive. Remember that we are English:that we are Christians. Consult yourown understanding, your own senseof the probable, your own observa-tion of what is passing around you.Does our education prepare us forsuch atrocities? Do our laws con-nive at them? Could they be perpe-trated without being known in acountry like this, where social andliterary intercourse is on such afooting, where every man is sur-rounded by a neighbourhood of vol-untary spies, and where roads andnewspapers lay everything open?Dearest Miss Morland, what ideashave you been admitting?

They had reached the end of thegallery; and with tears of shame sheran off to her own room.

Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

Part One

One

The play - for which Briony haddesigned the posters, programmesand tickets, constructed the salesbooth out of a folding screen tippedon its side, and lined the collection boxin red crepe paper - was written byher in a two-day tempest ofcomposition, causing her to miss abreak fast and a lunch. When thepreparations were complete, she hadnothing to do but contemplate her fin-ished draft and wait for the appearanceof her cousins from the distant north.There would be time for only one dayof rehearsal before her brother arrived.At some moments chilling, at othersdesperately sad, the play told a tale ofthe heart whose message, conveyed ina rhyming prologue, was that lovewhich did not build a foundation ongood sense was doomed. The recklesspassion of the heroine, Arabella, for awicked foreign count is punished byill fortune when she contracts choleraduring an impetuous dash towards aseaside town with her intended.Deserted by him and nearly everybodyelse, bed-bound in a garret, shediscovers in herself a sense of humour.Fortune presents her a second chance

Expiacin

de

Ian McWean

trad. de Jaime ZulaikaAnagrama, Barcelona 2002

A Annalena

Querida seorita Morland, con-sidere la terrible naturaleza de las sos-pechas que ha albergado. En qu sebasa para emitir sus juicios? Recuer-de el pas y la poca en que vivimos.Recuerde que somos ingleses: que so-mos cristianos. Utilice su propio en-tendimiento, su propio sentido de lasprobabilidades, su propia observacinde lo que ocurre a su alrededor. Acasonuestra educacin nos prepara paraatrocidades semejantes? Acaso lasconsienten nuestras leyes? Podranperpetrarse sin que se supiese en unpas como ste, donde las relacionessociales y literarias estn reglamenta-das, donde todo el mundo vive rodea-do de un vecindario de espas volun-tarios, y donde las carreteras y los pe-ridicos lo ponen todo al descubierto?Queridsima seorita Morland, quideas ha estado concibiendo?

Haban llegado al final del pasillo ycon lgrimas de vergenza, Catherinehuy corriendo a su habitacin.

Jane Austen, La abada de Northanger

Primera Parte

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Briony escribi la obra para la queella misma haba diseado los carteles,los programas y las entradas, construi-do la taquilla con una cartulina dobladapor un lado, y forrado la caja de recau-dacin con papel crep rojo en unatormenta compositiva que dur dos dasy que le hizo saltarse un desayuno y unalmuerzo. Cuando los preparativos hu-bieron terminado, no le qued nada mspor hacer que contemplar el borradoracabado y aguardar la aparicin de susprimos del lejano norte. Slo habra unda para ensayar antes de que llegara suhermano. Por momentos glida, a ratostristsima, la obra refera la historia deun alma cuyo mensaje, transmitido enun prlogo en verso, era que el amor queno asentaba sus cimientos en la sensa-tez estaba condenado. La temeraria pa-sin de la herona, Arabella, por un mal-vado conde extranjero es castigada conel infortunio cuando ella contrae el c-lera durante un avance impetuoso haciauna ciudad costera con su prometido.Abandonada por l y por casi todo elmundo, postrada en cama en una buhar-dilla, descubre que posee sentido delhumor. La fortuna le ofrece una segun-da oportunidad en forma de mdico em-

booth 1 (de votacin, telfono, etc) cabina photobooth, fotomatn 2 (en una verbena) caseta 3(feria) stand 4 ticket booth, taquilla 5 US (en elrestaurante) mesa que tiene bancos corridos,compartimento, 6 cuarto, sitio,

crepe paper papel crep It is popular for streamers and other party

decorations, but it has other uses as well. Propsand costume accessories can be made of crepepaper. It can be soaked in a small amount ofwater to create a dye for Easter eggs, whitecardstock, and other materials. Crepe paper canalso be used to make paper flowers, appliqu,and paper sculpture.

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in the form of an impoverished doctor- in fact, a prince in disguise who haselected to work among the needy.Healed by him, Arabella chooses ju-diciously this time, and is rewarded byreconciliation with her family and awedding with the medical prince ona windy sunlit day in spring.

Mrs Tallis read the seven pages ofThe Trials of Arabella in her bedroom,at her dressing table, with the authorsarm around her shoulder the wholewhile. Briony studied her mothersface for every trace of shifting emo-tion, and Emily Tallis obliged withlooks of alarm, snickers of glee and,at the end, grateful smiles and wise,affirming nods. She took her daughterin her arms, onto her lap - ah, that hotsmooth little body she rememberedfrom its infancy, and still not gonefrom her, not quite yet - and said thatthe play was stupendous, and agreedinstantly, murmuring into the tightwhorl of the girls ear, that this wordcould be quoted on the poster whichwas to be on an easel in the entrancehall by the ticket booth.

Briony was hardly to know it then,but this was the projects highest pointof fulfilment. Nothing came near it forsatisfaction, all else was dreams andfrustration. There were moments in thesummer dusk after her light was out,burrowing in the delicious gloom ofher canopy bed, when she made herheart thud with luminous, yearningfantasies, little playlets in themselves,every one of which featured Leon. Inone, his big, good-natured face buck-led in grief as Arabella sank in loneli-ness and despair. In another, there hewas, cocktail in hand at some fashion-able city watering hole, overheardboasting to a group of friends: Yes, myyounger sister, Briony Tallis the writer,you must surely have heard of her. Ina third he punched the air in exulta-tion as the final curtain fell, althoughthere was no curtain, there was no pos-sibility of a curtain. Her play was notfor her cousins, it was for her brother,to celebrate his return, provoke his ad-miration and guide him away from hiscareless succession of girlfriends, to-wards the right form of wife, the onewho would persuade him to return tothe countryside, the one who wouldsweetly request Brionys services as abridesmaid.

She was one of those childrenpossessed by a desire to have theworld just so. Whereas her bigsisters room was a stew of unclosedbooks, unfolded clothes, unmadebed, unemptied ashtrays, Brionyswas a shrine to her controlling de-mon: the model farm spread acrossa deep window ledge consisted of theusual animals, but all facing one way- towards their owner - as if about tobreak into song, and even the farm-yard hens were neatly corralled. Infact, Brionys was the only tidy up-stairs room in the house. Her

pobrecido: en verdad, se trata de un prn-cipe disfrazado que ha elegido ocuparsede los necesitados. Curada por l, estavez [13] Arabella elige sensatamente yobtiene la recompensa de la reconcilia-cin con su familia y una boda con elprncipe mdico, un da ventoso y so-leado de primavera.

La seora Tallis ley las siete pginasde Las tribulaciones de Arabella en sudormitorio, ante su tocador, mientras losbrazos de la autora le rodeaban el cuello.Briony examin la cara de su madre enbusca de cada rastro de emocin cambian-te, y Emily Tallis correspondi con ex-presiones de alarma, risas de alegra y, alfinal, sonrisas de gratitud y gestos de jui-cioso asentimiento. Cogi a su hija enbrazos, la sent en su regazo ah,aquel cuerpecito terso y clido que ellarecordaba de la infancia y que todavano haba perdido, no del todo y dijoque la obra era magnfica, y acce-di al instante, cuchicheando en la ten-sa voluta de la oreja de la nia, a queesta palabra suya se citase en el cartel quehabra en el vestbulo, colocado sobre uncaballete, junto a la taquilla.

Briony difcilmente poda saberloentonces, pero aqul era el punto culminan-te del proyecto. Nada igualaba aquella satis-faccin, todo lo dems eran sueos y frus-tracin. Haba momentos en los anochece-res de verano, despus de haber apagado laluz, en que, acurrucndose en la penumbradeliciosa de su cama doselada, haca que elcorazn le palpitase con luminosas y an-helantes fantasas, obras breves en smismas, en cada una de las cualesapareca Leon. En una, su carota bon-dadosa se contraa de pena cuandoArabella estaba desesperada y sola.En otra la sorprendan, cctel en manoen a lgn abrevadero de moda,alardeando ante un grupo de amigos:S, mi hermana pequea, BrionyTallis, la escritora, sin duda habisodo hablar de ella. En una terceradaba un puetazo exultante en el airecuando caa el teln, aunque no ha-ba teln ni posibilidad de que lo hu-biera. Su obra no era para sus primos,era para su hermano, para celebrar suregreso, provocar su admiracin yapartarle de su alegre [14] sucesinde novias para orientarle hacia la cla-se idnea de esposa, la que le conven-cera de que volviese al campo, la quedulcemente pedira que Briony oficia-se como dama de honor.

Era una de esas nias posedas por el de-seo de que el mundo fuera exactamente comoera. Mientras que el cuarto de su hermanamayor era un desbarajuste de libros sin ce-rrar, ropas sin doblar, cama sin hacer, cenice-ros sin vaciar, el de Briony era un santuarioerigido a su demonio dominante: la granja enminiatura que se extenda a lo largo de unancho alfizar contena los animales habitua-les, pero todos miraban hacia un mismo ladohacia su ama, como si estuvieran a puntode cantar, y hasta las gallinas del corral estabanmeticulosamente guardadas en el corral.De hecho, el cuarto de Briony era la nicahabitacin ordenada de todas las del piso

thud : a low dull sound as of a blow on a non-resonant surface.

Ruido, golpe o chasquido sordo,

whorl n. 1 a ring of leaves or other organs rounda stem of a plant. 2 one turn of a spiral, esp.on a shell. 3 a complete circle in a fingerprint.4 archaic a small wheel on a spindlesteadying its motion.

corolla a whorl [verticilo, spiral, espira] ofleaves. Aureola,

espira Cada una de las vueltas de una espiral.voluta adorno en figura de espiral o caracol

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straight-backed dolls in theirmany-roomed mansion appeared tobe under strict instructions not totouch the walls; the variousthumb-sized figures to be foundstanding about her dressing table -cowboys, deep-sea divers, humanoidmice - suggested by their even ranksand spacing a citizens army await-ing orders.

A taste for the miniature was oneaspect of an orderly spirit. Anotherwas a passion for secrets: in a prizedvarnished cabinet, a secret drawerwas opened by pushing against thegrain of a cleverly turned dovetailjoint, and here she kept a diarylocked by a clasp, and a notebookwritten in a code of her own inven-tion. In a toy safe opened by six se-cret numbers she stored letters andpostcards. An old tin petty cash boxwas hidden under a removablefloorboard beneath her bed. In thebox were treasures that dated backfour years, to her ninth birthdaywhen she began collecting: a mu-tant double acorn, fools gold, arain-making spell bought at afunfair, a squirrels skull as light asa leaf.

But hidden drawers, lockable dia-ries and cryptographic systems couldnot conceal from Briony the simpletruth: she had no secrets. Her wishfor a harmonious, organised worlddenied her the reckless possibilitiesof wrongdoing. Mayhem and de-struction were too chaotic for hertastes, and she did not have it in herto be cruel. Her effective status asan only child, as well as the relativeisolation of the Tallis house, kepther, at least during the long summerholidays, from girlish intrigues withfriends. Nothing in her life was suf-ficiently interesting or shameful tomerit hiding; no one knew about thesquirrels skull beneath her bed, butno one wanted to know. None of thiswas particularly an affliction; orrather, it appeared so only in retro-spect, once a solution had beenfound.

At the age of eleven she wrote herfirst story - a foolish affair, imitativeof half a dozen folk tales and lack-ing, she realised later, that vitalknowingness about the ways of theworld which compels a readers re-spect. But this first clumsy attemptshowed her that the imagination it-self was a source of secrets: once shehad begun a story, no one could betold. Pretending in words was tootentative, too vulnerable, too embar-rassing to let anyone know. Evenwriting out the she saids, the andthens, made her wince, and she feltfoolish, appearing to know about theemotions of an imaginary being.Self-exposure was inevitable themoment she described a charactersweakness; the reader was bound tospeculate that she was describing

superior de la casa. Las muecas, con laespalda rgida en su casa de muchas habi-taciones, parecan haber recibido instruc-ciones severas de no tocar las paredes; lasdiversas figuras, del tamao de un pulgar,colocadas de pie en el tocador vaqueros,submarinistas, ratones humanoides recor-daban por el orden y la distancia que reina-ba en sus filas a un ejrcito de ciudadanos ala espera de rdenes.

El gusto por las miniaturas era un ras-go de un espritu ordenado. Otro era lapasin por los secretos: en un preciosobur barnizado, en un cajn secreto quese abra presionando el extremo de uningenioso ensamblaje a cola de milano,guardaba un diario cerrado con un bro-che y un cuaderno escrito en un cdigoinventado por ella. En una caja de cauda-les de juguete, con una combinacin deseis nmeros secretos, guardaba cartas ypostales. Tena una vieja cajita de hoja-lata escondida debajo de una tabla sueltadebajo de la cama. En la cajita haba te-soros que databan de haca cuatro aos,desde su noveno cumpleaos, cuandoempez a coleccionar: una mutante be-llota doble, pirita de hierro, un hechizo[15] para provocar la lluvia comprado enuna feria, una calavera de ardilla livianacomo una hoja.

Pero cajones secretos, diarios bajollave y sistemas criptogrficos no leocultaban a Briony la sencilla verdad:que no tena secretos. Su anhelo de unmundo organizado y armonioso le de-negaba las posibilidades temerarias deuna mala conducta. El tumulto y la des-truccin eran, para su gusto, demasiadocaticos, y en su talante no haba cruel-dad. Su estatuto, en la prctica, de hijanica, y el relativo aislamiento de la casaTallis, la apartaban, al menos durante laslargas vacaciones del verano, de las in-trigas femeniles con amigas. Nada en suvida era lo bastante interesante o ver-gonzoso para merecer un escondrijo;nadie saba lo de la calavera de ardilladebajo de su cama, pero nadie querasaberlo. Nada de esto representaba paraella una congoja especial; o, mejor di-cho, pareca representarlo slo retros-pectivamente, cuando se hubo encontra-do una solucin.

A la edad de once aos haba escritosu primer relato; una tontera, una imi-tacin de media docena de cuentos po-pulares y desprovisto, como compren-di ms tarde, de ese conocimiento vi-tal de las cosas del mundo que inspirarespeto a un lector. Pero esta torpe pri-mera tentativa le ense que la imagi-nacin era en s misma una fuente desecretos: una vez empezada una histo-ria, no se la poda contar a nadie. Fingircon palabras era algo demasiado inse-guro, demasiado vulnerable, demasiadoembarazoso para que alguien lo supie-ra. Hasta escribir los eya dijo y los yentonses le daba escalofros, y se sentauna tonta al simular que conoca lasemociones de una criatura imaginaria.Al describir la debilidad de un persona-je era inevitable exponer la suya propia;el lector no poda no conjeturar que es-

mansion: casa enorme, casa solariega, residenciaelegante, palacete

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herself. What other authority couldshe have? Only when a story was fin-ished, all fates resolved and thewhole matter sealed off at both endsso it resembled, at least in this onerespect, every other finished story inthe world, could she feel immune,and ready to punch holes in the mar-gins, bind the chapters with piecesof string, paint or draw the cover, andtake the finished work to show to hermother, or her father, when he washome.

Her efforts received encourage-ment. In fact, they were welcomed asthe Tallises began to understand thatthe baby of the family possessed astrange mind and a facility withwords. The long afternoons she spentbrowsing through dictionary and the-saurus made for constructions thatwere inept, but hauntingly so: thecoins a villain concealed in his pocketwere esoteric, a hoodlum caughtstealing a car wept in shamelessauto-exculpation, the heroine on herthoroughbred stallion made a cur-sory journey through the night, thekings furrowed brow was thehieroglyph of his displeasure.Briony was encouraged to read herstories aloud in the library and it sur-prised her parents and older sister tohear their quiet girl perform so boldly,making big gestures with her freearm, arching her eyebrows as she didthe voices, and looking up from thepage for seconds at a time as she readin order to gaze into one face afterthe other, unapologetically demand-ing her familys total attention as shecast her narrative spell.

Even without their atterition andpraise and obvious pleasure, Brionycould not have been held back fromher writing. In any case, she was dis-covering, as had many writers beforeher, that not all recognition is help-ful. Cecilias enthusiasm, for ex-ample, seemed a little overstated,tainted with condescension perhaps,and intrusive too; her big sisterwanted each bound story cataloguedand placed on the library shelves, be-tween Rabindranath Tagore andQuintus Tertullian. If this was sup-posed to be a joke, Briony ignoredit. She was on course now, and hadfound satisfaction on other levels;writing stories not only involved se-crecy, it also gave her all the plea-sures of miniaturisation. A worldcould be made in five pages, and onethat was more pleasing than a modelfarm. The childhood of a spoiledprince could be framed within half apage, a moonlit dash through sleepyvillages was one rhythmically em-phatic sentence, falling in love couldbe achieved in a single word - aglance. The pages of a recently fin-ished story seemed to vibrate in herhand with all the life they contained.Her passion for tidiness was also sat-isfied, for an unruly world could bemade just so. A crisis in a heroines

taba describindose a s misma. Qu otraautoridad poda tener ella? Slo cuandoun relato estaba terminado, todos losdestinos resueltos y toda la trama cerra-da de cabo a rabo, de suerte que se ase-mejaba, [16] al menos en este aspecto, atodos los dems relatos acabados quehaba en el mundo, poda sentirse inmu-ne y en condiciones de agujerear los mr-genes, atar los captulos con un braman-te, pintar o dibujar la cubierta e ir a en-sear la obra concluida a su madre o asu padre, cuando estaba en casa.

Sus esfuerzos recibieron aliento. Dehecho, fueron bien acogidos porque losTallis empezaban a entender que la ben-jamina de la familia posea una menteextraa y facilidad para las palabras. Laslargas tardes que pasaba consultandodiccionarios y tesauros explicaban cons-trucciones que eran incongruentes, perode un modo inquietante: las monedas queun maleante esconda en sus bolsilloseran esotricas, un matn sorprendi-do en el acto de robar un automvil llo-raba con indecorosa autoexculpacin;la herona a lomos de un semental purasangre haca un viaje somero en plenanoche, la frente arrugada del rey era unjeroglfico de su desagrado. Briony eraexhortada a leer sus narraciones en vozalta en la biblioteca, y a sus padres y a suhermana mayor les asombraba or a lania apacible leyendo con tanto aplomo,haciendo grandes gestos con el brazo li-bre, arqueando las cejas al hacer las vo-ces, y levantando la vista de la pgina du-rante varios segundos a medida que lea,con el fin de mirar una tras otra las carasde todos y exigir sin el menor empachola atencin total de su familia mientrasverta su sortilegio narrativo.

Aunque no hubiese contado con laatencin, el aplauso y el placer evidentede sus familiares, habra sido imposibleimpedir que Briony escribiera. En cual-quier caso, estaba descubriendo, comomuchos escritores antes que ella, que notodo reconocimiento es til. El entusias-mo de Cecilia, por ejemplo, pareca unpoco exagerado, quizs teido de con-descendencia, y adems entrometido; suhermana mayor quera que todas sus obrasencuadernadas fueran catalogadas [17] ycolocadas en los anaqueles de la biblio-teca, entre Rabindranath Tagore y Quin-to Tertuliano. Si aquello pretenda ser unabroma, Briony hizo caso omiso. Ya esta-ba encauzada, y haba encontrado satis-faccin en otros planos; escribir relatosno slo entraaba secreto, sino que tam-bin le brindaba todos los placeres deminiaturizar. Se poda construir un mun-do en cinco pginas, y hasta ms placen-tero que una granja en miniatura. La in-fancia de un prncipe mimado poda com-primirse en media pgina; un rayo de luzde luna sobre un pueblo dormido era unafrase rtmicamente enftica; era posibledescribir el hecho de enamorarse con unasola palabra: una mirada. Toda la vidaque contenan las pginas de un cuento re-cin terminado pareca vibrar en su mano.Su pasin por el orden tambin se vea sa-tisfecha, pues se poda ordenar un mundocatico. Se poda hacer que una crisis en la

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life could be made to coincide withhailstones, gales and thunder,whereas nuptials were generallyblessed with good light and softbreezes. A love of order also shapedthe principles of justice, with deathand marriage the main engines ofhousekeeping, the former being setaside exclusively for the morallydubious, the latter a reward withhelduntil the final page.

The play she had written forLeons homecoming was her first ex-cursion into drama, and she hadfound the transition quite effortless.It was a relief not to be writing outthe she saids, or describing theweather or the onset of spring or herheroines face - beauty, she had dis-covered, occupied a narrow band.Ugliness, on the other hand, had in-finite variation. A universe reducedto what was said in it was tidinessindeed, almost to the point of nul-lity, and to compensate, every utter-ance was delivered at the extremityof some feeling or other, in the ser-vice of which the exclamation markwas indispensable. The Trials ofArabella may have been a melo-drama, but its author had yet to hearthe term. The piece was intended toinspire not laughter, but terror, re-lief and instruction, in that order, andthe innocent intensity with whichBriony set about the project - theposters, tickets, sales booth - madeher particularly vulnerable to failure.She could easily have welcomedLeon with another of her stories, butit was the news that her cousins fromthe north were coming to stay thathad prompted this leap into a newform.

That Lola, who was fifteen, andthe nine-year-old twins, Jackson andPierrot, were refugees from a bitterdomestic civil war should have mat-tered more to Briony. She had heardher mother criticise the impulsivebehaviour of her younger sisterHermione, and lament the situationof the three children, and denounceher meek, evasive brother-in-lawCecil who had fled to the safety ofAll Souls College, Oxford. Brionyhad heard her mother and sisteranalyse the latest twists and out-rages, charges and counter charges,and she knew her cousins visit wasan open-ended one, and might evenextend into term time. She had heardit said that the house could easilyabsorb three children, and that theQuinceys could stay as long as theyliked, provided the parents, if theyever visited simultaneously, kepttheir quarrels away from the Tallishousehold. Two rooms near Brionyshad been dusted down, new curtainshad been hung and furniture carriedin from other rooms. Normally, shewould have been involved in thesepreparations, but they happened tocoincide with her two-day writingbout and the beginnings of the

vida de una herona coincidiera con grani-zo, vendavales y truenos, mientras que lasceremonias nupciales, por lo general, go-zaban de buena luz y brisas suaves. El amoral orden configuraba asimismo los princi-pios de la justicia, en los que la muerte y elmatrimonio eran los motores para el gobier-no de un hogar, el primero reservado enexclusiva para lo moralmente dudoso, y elsegundo como premio postergado hasta laltima pgina.

La obra que haba escrito para elregreso de Leon a casa era su primeraincursin en el teatro, y el cambio degnero le haba parecido muy fcil.Era un alivio no tener que escribir eyadijo, ni tener que describir el clima,el comienzo de la primavera o la carade la herona; haba descubierto quela belleza ocupaba una franja estre-cha. La fealdad, por el contrario, po-sea una variacin infinita. Un univer-so reducido a lo que se deca en l re-presentaba el orden, en efecto, casihasta el extremo de la inanidad, y,para compensar, cada frase se enun-ciaba enfatizando al mximo un sen-timiento u otro, al servicio de lo cualera indispensable el signo de admira-cin. [18] Puede que Las tribulacio-nes de Arabella fuera un melodrama,pero su autora no conoca an esevocablo. La obra no se propona ins-pirar risa, sino terror, alivio e instruc-cin, por este orden, y la inocente in-tensidad con que Briony emprendi elproyecto los carteles, las entradas,la taquilla la haca especialmentevulnerable al fracaso. Le habra sidofcil recibir a Leon con otro de susrelatos, pero fue la noticia de la lle-gada de sus primos del norte lo que lahaba empujado a dar el salto haciaun gnero nuevo.

A Briony debera haberle importadoms que Lola, que tena quince aos, ylos dos gemelos de nueve, Jackson yPierrot, fuesen refugiados de una acer-ba guerra civil domstica. Haba odo asu madre criticar la conducta impulsivade su hermana pequea, Hermione, ylamentar la situacin de los tres nios,y denunciar a su cuado, Cecil, pusil-nime y evasivo, que haba huido a laseguridad de All Souls College, enOxford. Briony haba odo a su madrey a su hermana Cecilia analizar las l-timas novedades y agravios, las acusa-ciones y las rplicas a stas, y saba quela visita de sus primos tendra una du-racin indefinida y que quizs seprolongase hasta el comienzo de las cla-ses. Haba odo decir que la casa podaabsorber con facilidad a tres nios, y quelos Quincey podran quedarse tanto tiem-po como quisieran, siempre que los pa-dres, si les visitaban los dos al mismotiempo, se abstuvieran de dirimir susquerellas en el hogar de los Tallis. Ha-ban limpiado el polvo de dos habitacio-nes cercanas a la de Briony, haban col-gado cortinas nuevas y trasladado mue-bles de otros cuartos. Normalmente, ellahabra participado en estos preparativos,pero casualmente coincidieron con unaracha de escritura de dos das y con

prompt 1 a acting with alacrity; ready. b made, done,etc. readily or at once (a prompt reply). a (of apayment) made forthwith. b (of goods) forimmediate delivery and payment.

punctually (at six oclock prompt). 1 (usu. foll. by to, or to + infin.) incite; urge (prompted

them to action). 2 a (also absol.) supply a forgotten word, sentence,

etc., to (an actor, reciter, etc.). b assist (ahesitating speaker) with a suggestion.

3 give rise to; inspire (a feeling, thought, action, etc.). 1?a an act of prompting. b a thing said to help the

memory of an actor etc. c = prompter 2. dComputing an indication or sign on a VDU screento show that the system is waiting for input. 2?thetime limit for the payment of an account, statedon a prompt note.

bout 1 [of illness] ataque m [of work] tanda f 2 (=boxing match) combate m; encuentro

: a spell of activity: as a : an athletic match (as ofboxing) b : OUTBREAK, ATTACK c : SESSION

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front-of-house construction. Shevaguely knew that divorce was an af-fliction, but she did not regard it asa proper subject, and gave it nothought. It was a mundaneunravelling that could not be re-versed, and therefore offered no op-portunities to the storyteller: it be-longed in the realm of disorder.Marriage was the thing, or rather, awedding was, with its formal neat-ness of virtue rewarded, the thrill ofits pageantry and banqueting, anddizzy promise of lifelong union. Agood wedding was an unacknowl-edged representation of the as yet un-thinkable -sexual bliss. In the aislesof country churches and grand citycathedrals, witnessed by a whole so-ciety of approving family andfriends, her heroines and heroesreached their innocent climaxes andneeded to go no further.

If divorce had presented itself as thedastardly antithesis of all this, it couldeasily have been cast onto the otherpan of the scales, along with betrayal,illness, thieving, assault and men-dacity. Instead it showed anunglamorous face of dull complex-ity and incessant wrangling. Likere-armament and the AbyssiniaQuestion and gardening, it was sim-ply not a subject, and when, after along Saturday morning wait, Brionyheard at last the sound of wheels onthe gravel below her bedroom win-dow, and snatched up her pages andran down the stairs, across the hall-way and out into the blinding lightof midday, it was not insensitivity somuch as a highly focused artisticambition that caused her to shout tothe dazed young visitors huddled to-gether by the trap with their luggage,Ive got your parts, all written out.First performance tomorrow! Re-hearsals start in five minutes!

Immediately, her mother and sis-ter were there to interpose a blandertimetable. The visitors - all threewere ginger-haired and freckled -were shown their rooms, their caseswere carried up by Hardmans sonDanny, there was cordial in thekitchen, a tour of the house, a swimin the pool and lunch in the southgarden, under the shade of the vines.All the while, Emily and CeciliaTallis maintained a patter that surelyrobbed the guests of the ease it wassupposed to confer. Briony knewthat if she had travelled two hundredmiles to a strange house, bright ques-tions and jokey asides, and being toldin a hundred different ways that shewas free to choose, would have op-pressed her. It was not generallyrealised that what children mostlywanted was to be left alone. How-ever, the Quinceys worked hard atpretending to be amused or liberated,and this boded well for The Trials ofArabella: this trio clearly had theknack of being what they were not,even though they barely resembled

la reconstruccin de la fachada. Va-gamente saba que el divorcio erauna afliccin, pero no lo conside-raba un tema apropiado, [19] y nopensaba en ello. Era un desenlacemundano irreversible, y por lo tan-to no ofreca oportunidades a unnarrador : perteneca al reino deldesorden. Lo bueno era el matrimonioo, mejor dicho, una boda, acompaadade la pureza formal de la virtud recom-pensada, de la emocin de la pompa ydel banquete, y de la promesa de vrtigode una unin de por vida. Una buenaboda era la representacin inconfesadade lo que todava era impensable: el.gozosexual. En las naves de iglesias ruralesy de grandiosas catedrales urbanas, enpresencia de una sociedad completa defamilia y amigos que aprobaban el acto,las heronas y los hroes de Briony al-canzaban sus clmax inocentes sin ne-cesidad de ir ms lejos.

Si el divorcio se hubiera presentadocomo la anttesis ruin de todo esto, ha-bra sido fcil arrojarlo al otro platillode la balanza, junto con la perfidia, laenfermedad, el robo, las agresiones y lasmentiras. Pero ofreca una faz nadaatractiva de complejidad inspida y dis-cusin incesante. Al igual que el rear-me, la cuestin de Abisinia y la jardine-ra, lisa y llanamente no era un tema, ycuando, despus de una larga espera lamaana del sbado, Briony oy por finel sonido de ruedas sobre la grava quehaba debajo de la ventana de su cuarto,y agarr al vuelo sus pginas y bajcorriendo las escaleras, cruz el vest-bulo y sali a la luz cegadora del me-dioda, no fue tanto la insensibilidadcomo la reconcentrada ambicin arts-tica la que la impuls a gritar a susaturdidos y jvenes visitantes,apretujados con su equipaje junto al ca-rruaje: Ya he escrito vuestros papeles.Primera funcin, maana! Los ensayosempiezan dentro de cinco minutos!

Inmediatamente aparecieron su madrey su hermana para decretar un horario msflexible. Los recin llegados los tres,pelirrojos y pecosos fueron conducidosa sus habitaciones, sus cajas fueron aca-rreadas por Danny, el hijo de [20]Hardman, hubo un refresco en la cocina,un recorrido por la casa, un bao en la pis-cina y el almuerzo en el jardn del sur, a lasombra de las parras. Durante todo esetiempo, Emily y Cecilia Tallis mantuvie-ron un ajetreo que sin duda priv a loshuspedes de la comodidad que supuesta-mente deba conferirles. Briony saba quesi hubiese viajado trescientos kilmetrospara llegar a una casa extraa, las pregun-tas inteligentes y los comentarios jocosos,y el que le dijeran de cien maneras distin-tas que era libre de elegir, la habran enva-rado. Nadie comprenda, en general, quelo que ms queran los nios era que lesdejasen en paz. Sin embargo, los Quinceyse esforzaron mucho en fingir que el reci-bimiento les diverta y les liberaba, lo cualera un buen presagio para Las tribu-laciones de Arabella: estaba claro que eltro posea el don de ser lo que no era, aun-que se parecan bien poco a los personajes

confer 1 tr. (often foll. by on, upon) grant orbestow (a title, degree, favour, etc.). 2 intr.(often foll. by with) converse, consult.

Conceder, conferir, otorgar / conferenciar con

falta de orden, confusin, trastorno

1 patter: to say or speak in a rapid or mechanical manner 1 : to recite prayers (as paternosters) rapidly or mechanically 2 : to talk glibly (garrulamente) and volubly 3 : to speak or sing rapid-fire words in a theatrical performance2 patter Function: noun 1 : a specialized lingo : cant ; especially : the jargon of criminals (as thieves) 2 : the spiel of a street hawker or of a circus barker 3 : empty chattering talk 4 a (1) : the rapid-fire talk of a comedian (2) : the talk with which an

entertainer accompanies a routine b : the words of a comic song or of arapidly spoken usually humorous monologue introduced into such a song

3 patter 1 : to strike or pat rapidly and repeatedly 2 : to run with quick light-sounding steps

to cause to patter4 patter : a quick succession of light sounds or pats

*patter 1 (informal)(= talk) labia f [of salesman] rollo (informal) m;discursito (informal) m

patter 2 A) [of feet] golpeteo; [of rain] tamborileo m B)intransitive verb [feet] golpetear (rain) golpetear; tamborilear C)repeat (prayers etc.) in a rapid mechanical way; talk glibly ormechanically= 1. parlotear 2. tamborilear, golpetear

ajetrear. (De ahetrar). 1. tr. Molestar, mover mucho, cansar conrdenes diversas o imponiendo trabajo excesivo. 2. prnl.Fatigarse corporalmente con algn trabajo u ocupacin, oyendo y viniendo de una parte a otra.

perfidia 1. f. Deslealtad, traicin o quebran-tamiento de la fe debida.

perfidy n. breach of faith; treachery.Faithlessness.

daze stupefy, bewilder. a state of confusion orbewilderment (in a daze).

spiel n. & v. sl. n. a glib speech or story,esp. a salesmans patter. Rollo, charla,arenga, perorata, cuento,

v. 1 intr. speak glibly; hold forth. 2 tr.reel off (patter etc.). arengar, perorar

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the characters they were to play.Before lunch Briony slipped away tothe empty rehearsal room - the nurs-ery - and walked up and down on thepainted floorboards, considering hercasting options.

On the face of it, Arabella, whosehair was as dark as Brionys, was un-likely to be descended from freck-led parents, or elope with a foreignfreckled count, rent a garret roomfrom a freckled innkeeper, lose herheart to a freckled prince and be mar-ried by a freckled vicar before afreckled congregation. But all thiswas to be so. Her cousins colouringwas too vivid - virtually fluorescent!- to be concealed. The best that couldbe said was that Arabellas lack offreckles was the sign - thehieroglyph, Briony might have writ-ten - of her distinction. Her purityof spirit would never be in doubt,though she moved through a blem-ished world. There was a furtherproblem with the twins, who couldnot be told apart by a stranger. Wasit r ight that the wicked countshould so completely resemble thehandsome prince, or that bothshould resemble Arabellas fatherand the vicar? What if Lola were castas the prince? Jackson and Pierrotseemed typical eager little boys whowould probably do as they were told.But would their sister play a man?She had green eyes and sharp bonesin her face, and hollow cheeks, andthere was something brittle in herreticence that suggested strongwill and a temper easi ly lost .Merely floating the possibility ofthe role to Lola might provoke acrisis, and could Briony reallyhold hands with her before the al-tar, while Jackson intoned fromthe Book of Common Prayer?

It was not until five oclock that after-noon that she was able to assemble her castin the nursery. She had arranged three stoolsin a row, while she herself jammed her rumpinto an ancient babys high-chair - abohemian touch that gave her a tennisumpires advantage of height. The twinshad come with reluctance from thepool where they had been for threehours without a break. They werebarefoot and wore singlets overtrunks that dripped onto the floor-boards. Water also ran down theirnecks from their matted hair, andboth boys were shivering andjiggled their knees to keep warm.The long immersion had puckeredand bleached their skin, so that inthe relatively low light of the nurs-ery their freckles appeared black.Their sister, who sat between them,with left leg balanced on right knee,was, by contrast , perfectlycomposed, having liberally appliedperfume and changed into a greengingham frock to offset hercolouring. Her sandals revealed anankle bracelet and toenails paintedvermilion. The sight of these nails

que iban a representar. Antes del almuer-zo, Briony se escabull a la sala de ensa-yos vaca el cuarto de juegosy deambulde un lado a otro de los tablones pintados,considerando las opciones referentes al re-parto.

A la vista de aquello, era improba-ble que Arabella, que tena el pelo tanmoreno como Briony, descendiese depadres pecosos o se fugase con un pe-coso conde extranjero, alquilase unabuhardilla a un posadero con pecas,se enamorase de un prncipe pecosoy se casara ante un prroco con pecasante una feligresa igualmente peco-sa. Pero la cosa iba a ser as. La tezde sus primos era demasiado ntida casi fluorescente! para poder ocul-tarla. Lo mejor que se poda decir esque la cara sin pecas de Arabella erael s igno el jerogl f ico, quizsBriony hubiese escrito de su distin-cin. Su pureza de espritu jams sepondra en duda, aunque ella se mo-viese en un mundo mancillado. Ha-ba un problema adicional con losgemelos: nadie que no los conociesepoda distinguirlos. Estaba bien queel malvado conde se pareciese tantoal guapo prncipe, o que los dos separeciesen al padre [21] de Arabellay al prroco? Y si Lola haca de prn-cipe? Jackson y Pierrot tenan aspec-to de ser los tpicos nios afanososque seguramente haran lo que lesdijeran. Pero su hermana interpre-tara a un hombre? Tena los ojosverdes, huesos prominentes en lacara y las mejillas hundidas, y en sureticencia haba algo frgil que suge-ra una voluntad fuerte y un genio muyvivo. El mero ofrecimiento a Lola deaquel papel tal vez provocase un con-flicto, y, a decir verdad, podra Brionycogerle de la mano delante del altarmientras Jackson recitaba la frmulasolemne del rito anglicano?

Hasta las cinco de aquella tarde nopudo congregar a su elenco en el cuar-to de juegos. Haba colocado tres tabu-retes en fila, y ella acomod el traseroen una antigua trona: un toque bohe-mio que le dio la ventaja de altura deun rbitro de tenis. Los gemelos acu-dieron a regaadientes desde la pisci-na, donde haban estado tres horas se-guidas. Estaban descalzos y llevabancamisetas encima de los baadores quegoteaban sobre el suelo de madera.Tambin les caa por el cuello agua pro-cedente de su pelo enmaraado, y losdos tiritaban y sacudan las rodillas paraentrar en calor. La larga inmersin leshaba arrugado y blanqueado la piel,por lo que sus pecas reaparecieron a laluz relativamente tenue del cuarto. Suhermana, que se sent entre ellos dos,con la pierna izquierda en equilibrio,sobre la rodilla derecha, guardaba, porcontraste, una compostura perfecta trashaberse asperjado profusamente deperfume y puesto un vestido de cuadrosverdes para compensar sus otros colo-res. Sus sandalias mostraban una pul-sera en el tobillo y las uas de los piespintadas de bermelln. Ver aquellas

liberal 1 a). Generosio, desprendido, desinteresado. Tole-rante. 1 b) Que ejerce una profesin liberal tradicional-mente de las artes o profesiones que ante todo requieren elejercicio del entendimiento.

2. Favorable a las libertades intelectuales y profesionablesdel individuo y a las polticas del Estado. (Nota: parece estarse perdiendo el primer significado enfavor del segundo.)

reticence 1 reserve, reticence, taciturnity the trait ofbeing uncommunicative; not volunteering anythingmore than necessary

reticence 1 : the quality or state of being reticent :RESERVE, RESTRAINT 2 : an instance of being reticent3 : RELUCTANCE

reserva, discrecin,, silencio discreto, tacitur-nidad

reticencia1. f. Efecto de no decir sino en parte, o dedar a entender claramente, y de ordinario conmalicia, que se oculta o se calla algo que debierao pudiera decirse.

2. Reserva, desconfianza.3. Ret. Figura que consiste en dejar incom-

pleta una frase o no acabar de aclarar una espe-cie, dando, sin embargo, a entender el sentidode lo que no se dice, y a veces ms de lo que secalla.

--insinuation, innuendo, irony

reticent [gloomy] reservado, discreto, poco comuni-cativo, callado, de pocas palabras, taciturno

reticente lleva connotaciones negativas deinsinuating, ironic, sarcastic, misleading/deceptive, engaoso

handsome adj. (handsomer, handsomest) 1 (of a person) good-looking. Hermoso, bello, bien

parecido 2 (of a building etc.) imposing, attractive. 3 a generous, liberal (a handsome present; handsome

treatment). b (of a price, fortune, etc., as assetsgained) considerable. (victory) fcil

gentil 1. adj. Idlatra o pagano.Gentile (En) 2. Brioso, galn, gracioso. GENTIL mozo; GENTIL

donaire. 3. notable. GENTIL desvergenza; GENTIL disparate. 4. Amable, corts. kind, pleasant, charming,

obliging, comelygentle dulce tierno, dcil, suave, corts, ligero,

cudadoso, pausado moderadogracious : amable corts, gentil, benevolente, indul-

gente [lenient]gracioso : funny,witty, amusing, charminggraceful : lleno de gracia, con mucho garbo,

elengante, digno

singlet camisetasinglet n. 1 Brit. a garment worn under or instead

of a shirt

pucker v.tr. & intr. (often foll. by up) gather or cau-se to gather into wrinkles, folds, or bulges(puckered her eyebrows; this seam is puckeredup). Hacer visajes,

puckered .wrinkled, fiolded, ceuda, funcida, surca-da de arrugas, en puchero

n. such a wrinkle, bulge, fold, etc. Fruncimiento,

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gave Briony a constricting sensa-tion around her sternum, and sheknew at once that she could not askLola to play the prince.

Everyone was settled and theplaywright was about to begin herlittle speech summarising the plotand evoking the excitement of per-forming before an adult audiencetomorrow evening in the library. Butit was Pierrot who spoke first.

I hate plays and all that sort ofthing.

I hate them too, and dressing up,Jackson said.

It had been explained at lunch thatthe twins were to be distinguishedby the fact that Pierrot was missinga triangle of flesh from his left earlobe on account of a dog he had tor-mented when he was three.

Lola looked away. Briony saidreasonably, How can you hateplays?

Its just showing off. Pierrotshrugged as he delivered thisself-evident truth.

Briony knew he had a point. Thiswas precisely why she loved plays,or hers at least; everyone wouldadore her. Looking at the boys, un-der whose chairs water was poolingbefore spilling between the floor-board cracks, she knew they couldnever understand her ambition. For-giveness softened her tone.

Do you think Shakespeare wasjust showing off?

Pierrot glanced across his sisterslap towards Jackson. This warlikename was faintly familiar, with itswhiff of school and adult certainty,but the twins found their courage ineach other.

Everyone knows he was.

Definitely.

When Lola spoke, she turned firstto Pierrot and halfway through hersentence swung round to finish onJackson. In Brionys family, MrsTallis never had anything to impartthat needed saying simultaneously toboth daughters. Now Briony sawhow it was done.

Youll be in this play, or youllget a clout, and then Ill speak to TheParents.

If you clout us, well speak toThe Parents.

Youll be in this play or Ill speakto The Parents.

That the threat had been negoti-

uas produjo en el esternn de Brionyuna sensacin opresiva, y supo al ins-tante que no poda pedirle a Lola queinterpretara al prncipe.

Todo el mundo ocupaba su sitio y ladramaturga estaba a punto de empezarsu pequea alocucin, resumiendo la[22] trama y evocando la emocin deactuar ante un auditorio adulto la nochesiguiente en la biblioteca. Pero fue Pie-rrot quien habl primero.

Odio las obras de teatro y todasesas cosas.

Yo tambin, y disfrazarme dijoJackson.

Durante el almuerzo haban explica-do que a los gemelos se les distinguaporque a Pierrot le faltaba un tringulode carne en el lbulo de la oreja izquier-da, por culpa de un perro al que habaatormentado cuando tena tres aos.

Lola apart la vista. Briony dijo, juiciosamente:Cmo puedes odiar el tea-

tro?

Slo sirve para lucirse dijo Pie-rrot, y se encogi de hombros mientrasenunciaba esta evidencia.

Briony supo que tena razn. Por esoprecisamente ella adoraba las obras deteatro, o por lo menos la suya; todo elmundo la adorara a ella. Al mirar a susprimos, debajo de cuyas sillas se estabaencharcando agua que luego se filtrabapor las grietas entre las tablas, supo quenunca comprenderan su ambicin. Laindulgencia suaviz su tono.

T crees que Shakespeare sloquera lucirse?

Pierrot mir hacia Jackson por enci-ma de las rodillas de su hermana. Aquelnombre blico le era vagamente fami-liar, con su tufillo a escuela y a certezaadulta, pero los gemelos se infundanvalor mutuamente.

Todo el mundo sabe que s.

Segursimo.

Cuando Lola hablaba, primero se di-riga a Pierrot y a mitad de la frase sevolva en redondo para terminarla diri-gindose a Jackson. En la familia deBriony, la seora Tallis nunca tena nadaque comunicar que requiriese decrselosimultneamente a las dos hermanas.Ahora Briony vio cmo se haca.

O actuis en la obra u os llevis untortazo y despus hablo con los pa-dres. [23]

Si nos das un tortazo, nosotros ha-blaremos con tilos padres.

O actuis en esta obra o hablarcon los padres.

Que la amenaza hubiese sido cla-

clout 1 dialect chiefly British : a piece of cloth orleather : RAG 2 : a blow especially with the hand(tortazo); also : a hard hit in baseball 3 : a whitecloth on a stake or frame used as a target inarchery 4 : PULL, INFLUENCE

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ated neatly downwards did not ap-pear to diminish its power. Pierrotsucked on his lower lip.

Why do we have to? Everythingwas conceded in the question, andLola tried to ruffle his sticky hair.

Remember what The Parentssaid? Were guests in this house andwe make ourselves - what do wemake ourselves? Come on. What dowe make ourselves?

A-menable, the twins chorusedin misery, barely stumbling over theunusual word.

Lola turned to Briony and smiled.Please tell us about your play.

The Parents. Whateverinstitutionalised strength was lockedin this plural was about to fly apart,or had already done so, but for now itcould not be acknowledged, and brav-ery was demanded of even the young-est. Briony felt suddenly ashamed atwhat she had selfishly begun, for ithad never occurred to her that hercousins would not want to play theirparts in The Trials of Arabella. Butthey had trials, a catastrophe of theirown, and now, as guests in her house,they believed themselves under anobligation. What was worse, Lola hadmade it clear that she too would beacting on sufferance. The vulnerableQuinceys were being coerced. Andyet, Briony struggled to grasp the dif-ficult thought, wasnt there manipu-lation here, wasnt Lola using thetwins to express something on herbehalf, something hostile or destruc-tive? Briony felt the disadvantage ofbeing two years younger than theother girl, of having a full two yearsrefinement weigh against her, andnow her play seemed a miserable, em-barrassing thing.

Avoiding Lolas gaze the wholewhile, she proceeded to outline theplot, even as its stupidity began tooverwhelm her. She no longer hadthe heart to invent for her cousins thethrill of the first night.

As soon as she was finishedPierrot said, I want to be the count.I want to be a bad person.

Jackson said simply, Im aprince. Im always a prince.

She could have drawn them to herand kissed their little faces, but shesaid, Thats all right then.

Lola uncrossed her legs, smoothedher dress and stood, as though aboutto leave. She spoke through a sigh ofsadness or resignation. I suppose thatbecause youre the one who wrote it,youll be Arabella . . .

Oh no, Briony said. No. Not atall.

ramente rebajada no pareci dismi-nuir su poder. Pierrot se chup el la-bio inferior.

Por qu tenemos que hacerlo?La pregunta lo conceda todo, y Lola

trat de revolverle el pelo pringoso.

Te acuerdas de lo que han di-cho los padres? Somos invitadosen esta casa y debemos portarnos...,cmo debemos portarnos? Venga.Dime cmo.

Dcilmente dijeron los geme-los a coro, compungidos, tropezndoseapenas con la palabra rara.

Lola se volvi hacia Briony y sonri.Por favor, cuntanos tu obra.

Los padres. Cualquier poderinstitucional que encerrase este plu-ral, fuera la que fuese, estaba a puntode desmoronarse o ya lo haba hecho,pero por ahora no podan saberlo, yexiga valor hasta de los ms jvenes.Briony se avergonz sbitamente delegosmo de su conducta, pues no sele haba ocurrido pensar que sus pri-mos no quisieran representar sus per-sonajes en Las tr ibulaciones deArabella. Pero tenan sus tribulacio-nes, una catstrofe propia, y ahora, ensu calidad de huspedes en su casa,se crean obligados. Lo que an erapeor, Lola haba dejado claro que ellatambin actuara a disgusto. Estabacoaccionando a los vulnerablesQuincey. Y, sin embargo Briony seesforzaba en captar e l d i f c i lpensamiento, no haba una mani-pulacin all, no estaba Lola utili-zando a los gemelos para expresaralgo en su nombre, algo hostil y des-tructivo? Briony sinti la desventajade ser dos aos ms joven que la otrachica, de tener dos aos menos de re-finamiento, y ahora su obra le pare-ca algo deprimente y bochornoso.

Evitando todo el rato la mirada deLola, empez a resumir [24] la trama,pese a que la estulticia de la misma co-menzaba a abrumarla. Ya no le quedabannimos para inventar para sus primos laemocin de la primera noche.

En cuanto hubo terminado, Pierrot dijo:Quiero ser el conde. Quiero

ser un malvado.

Jackson se limit a decir:Yo soy el prncipe. Siempre soy un prncipe.

Briony habra podido atraerles haciaella y besarles la carita, pero dijo:

De acuerdo, entonces.

Lola descruz las piernas, se ali-s el vestido y se levant, como sifuera a irse. Habl con un suspirode tristeza o resignacin.

Supongo que como t has es-crito la obra, sers Arabella...

Oh, no dijo Briony. No. Nadade eso.

ruffle v. arrugar, agitar, rizar, despeinar encres-

par, erizar, descomponer, perturbar,ofender, alisar

1tr. disturb the smoothness or tranquillity of.2tr. upset the calmness of (a person).3tr. gather (lace etc.) into a ruffle.4tr. (often foll. by up) (of a bird) erect (its

feathers) in anger, display, etc.5intr. undergo ruffling.6intr. lose smoothness or calmness. n. arruga, volante fruncido, rizo1 an ornamental gathered or goffered (plisado)

frill (volante) of lace etc. worn at the openingof a garment esp. round the wrist, breast,or neck.

2 perturbation, bustle.3 a rippling effect on water.4 the ruff of a bird etc. (see ruff 1 2).5Mil. a vibrating drum-beat.

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She said no, but she meant yes.Of course she was taking the part ofArabella. What she was objecting towas Lolas because. She was notplaying Arabella because she wrotethe play, she was taking the part be-cause no other possibility hadcrossed her mind, because that washow Leon was to see her, becauseshe was Arabella.

B u t s h e h a d s a i d n o , a n dnow Lola was saying sweet ly, In that case, do you mind if I playher? I think I could do it very well.In fact, of the two of us . . .

She let that hang, and Briony staredat her, unable to keep the horror fromher expression, and unable to speak.It was slipping away from her, sheknew, but there was nothing that shecould think of to say that would bringit back. Into Brionys silence, Lolapressed her advantage.

I h a d a l o n g i l l n e s s l a s tyear, so I could do that par t ofi t wel l too.

Too? Briony could not keepup with the older girl. The mis-ery of the inevitable was cloud-ing her thoughts.

One of the twins said proudly,tend you were in the school play.

How could she tell them thatArabella was not a freckled person?Her skin was pale and her hair wasblack and her thoughts were Brionysthoughts. But how could she refuse acousin so far from home whose fam-ily life was in ruins? Lola was readingher mind because she now played herfinal card, the unrefusable ace.

Do say yes. It would be the only goodthing thats happened to me in months.

Yes. Unable to push her tongueagainst the word, Briony could onlynod, and felt as she did so a sulky thrillof self-annihilating compliancespreading across her skin and balloon-ing outwards from it, darkening theroom in throbs. She wanted to leave,she wanted to lie alone, face-down onher bed and savour the vile piquancyof the moment, and go back down thelines of branching consequences to thepoint before the destruction began. Sheneeded to contemplate with eyesclosed the full richness of what she hadlost, what she had given away, and toanticipate the new regime. Not onlyLeon to consider, but what of the an-tique peach and cream satin dress thather mother was looking out for her,for Arabellas wedding? That wouldnow be given to Lola. How could hermother reject the daughter who hadloved her all these years? As she sawthe dress make its perfect, clinging fitaround her cousin and witnessed hermothers heartless smile, Briony knew

Deca que no, pero quera decirs. Por supuesto que ella interpre-taba el papel de Arabella. A lo queobjetaba era al como t de Lola.No haca de Arabella porque habaescrito la obra, sino porque ningunaotra posibilidad se le haba pasadopor la cabeza, porque as era comoLeon iba a verla, porque ella eraArabella.

Pero haba dicho que no, y ahora Loladeca dulcemente:

En ese caso, no te importa que lohaga yo? Creo que lo hara muy bien.En realidad, de nosotras dos...

Dej la frase en suspenso, y Brionyla mir fijamente, incapaz de evitaruna expresin de horror, incapaz dehablar. Saba que le estaba arrebatan-do el papel, pero no se le ocurra nadaque decir para recuperarlo. Lola apro-vech el silencio de Briony para apun-talar su ventaja.

Tuve una larga enfermedad el aopasado, as que tambin puedo hacermuy bien esa parte.

Tambin? Briony no acertaba a po-nerse a la altura de la [25] chica ms ma-yor. La desdicha de lo inevitable le en-turbiaba el pensamiento.

Uno de los gemelos dijo, con orgullo:Y actuaste en la obra del colegio.

Cmo decirles que Arabella notena pecas? Tenla la piel clara y elpelo negro, y sus pensamientos eranlos de Briony. Pero cmo iba anegrselo a una prima tan alejadade su hogar y cuya vida familiarhaba naufragado? Lola le lea lamente, pues entonces jug su bazadefinitiva, el as irrecusable.

Di que s. Es lo nico bueno queme ha sucedido en meses.

S. Incapaz de apretar la lengua con-tra esta palabra, Briony se limit a asen-tir con la cabeza, y sinti al hacerlo unmalhumorado escalofro de aquiescen-cia autodestructiva que se le extenda porla piel y se expanda hacia fuera de ella,oscureciendo la habitacin con sus pul-saciones. Tuvo ganas de marcharse, detumbarse a solas, de bruces en su cama,para saborear el gusto repugnante delmomento, y remontar las consecuenciasramificadas hasta el punto a partir delcual la destruccin haba empezado. Ne-cesitaba contemplar con los ojos cerra-dos toda la riqueza que haba perdido, ala que haba renunciado, y prever el nue-vo rgimen. No slo haba que tener encuenta a. Leon, sino qu iba a pasar conel vestido antiguo de satn crema y me-locotn que su madre tena preparadopara ella, para la boda de Arabella? Noiban a drselo a Lola. Cmo iba sumadre a negrselo a la hija que la habaamado durante todos aquellos aos? Alver que el vestido se ajustaba perfecta-mente a los contornos de su prima y ob-

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her only reasonable choice then wouldbe to run away, to live under hedges,eat berries and speak to no one, andbe found by a bearded woodsman onewinters dawn, curled up at the baseof a giant oak, beautiful and dead, andbarefoot, or perhaps wearing the bal-let pumps with the pink ribbon straps. . .

Self-pity needed her full attention,and only in solitude could shebreathe life into the lacerating de-tails, but at the instant of her assent- how the tilt of a skull could changea life! - Lola had picked up thebundle of Brionys manuscript fromthe floor, and the twins had slippedfrom their chairs to follow their sis-ter into the space in the centre of thenursery that Briony had cleared theday before. Did she dare leave now?Lola was pacing the floorboards, onehand to her brow as she skimmedthrough the first pages of the play,muttering the lines from the pro-logue. She announced that nothingwas to be lost by beginning at thebeginning, and now she was castingher brothers as Arabellas parentsand describing the opening to them,seeming to know all there was toknow about the scene. The advanceof Lolas dominion was mercilessand made self-pity irrelevant. Orwould it be all the moreannihilatingly delicious? - forBriony had not even been cast asArabellas mother, and now wassurely the time to sidle from theroom and tumble into face-downdarkness on the bed. But it wasLolas briskness, her obliviousnessto anything beyond her own busi-ness, and Brionys certainty that herown feelings would not even regis-ter, still less provoke guilt, whichgave her the strength to resist.

In a generally pleasant andwell-protected life, she had never re-ally confronted anyone before. Nowshe saw: it was like diving into theswimming pool in early June; yousimply had to make yourself do it. Asshe squeezed out of the high-chairand walked over to where her cousinstood her heart thudded inconve-niently and her breath was short.

She took the play from Lola andsaid in a voice that was constrictedand more high-pitched than usual,If youre Arabella, then Ill be thedirector, thank you very much, andIll read the prologue.

Lola put her speckled hand to hermouth. Sor-reeee! she hooted. Iwas just trying to get things started.

Briony was unsure how to re-spond, so she turned to Pierrot andsaid, You dont look much likeArabellas mother.

The countermanding of Lolascasting decision, and the laughter in

servar la sonrisa cruel de su madre,Briony supo que su nica alternativa ra-zonable sera en ese caso huir, vivir de-bajo de setos, comer bayas y no hablarcon nadie hasta que un silvicultor la en-contrase un amanecer de invierno, al piede un roble gigantesco, hermosa y muer-ta [26] y descalza, o tal vez con las za-patillas de ballet de cintas rosas...

Compadecerse a s misma reclama-ba toda su atencin, y nicamente a so-las podra infundir vida a los detalleslacerantes, pero en el instante en queasinti cmo una simple inclinacinde cabeza poda cambiar una vida!,Lola ya haba recogido del suelo el bul-to del manuscrito de Briony y los geme-los se haban deslizado de sus sillas paraseguir a su hermana al espacio centraldel cuarto que Briony haba despejadola vspera. Se atrevera a marcharseahora? Lola deambulaba por las tablascon una mano en la frente mientras ho-jeaba las primeras pginas de la obra,murmurando las lneas del prlogo.Anunci que nada se perda empezandopor el principio, y ahora estaba desig-nando a sus hermanos para que encar-nasen a los padres de Arabella y les es-taba describiendo la escena inauguralcomo si lo supiese todo sobre ella. Elprogreso de la dominacin de Lola eraimplacable y tornaba extempornea lapiedad de Briony por s misma. O seratanto ms aniquiladoramente deliciosa?Briony, en efecto, ni siquiera haba sidoelegida para el papel de madre deArabella, y sin duda era el momento deescabullirse del cuarto para derrumbar-se de bruces en la oscuridad de la cama.Pero fue el dinamismo de Lola, su indi-ferencia por todo lo que no fuese su pro-pio inters, y la certeza de Briony de quesus propios sentimientos no seran si-quiera advertidos, y de que tampoco pro-vocaran uno de culpa, lo que le dio lafuerza para resistir.

Tras una vida protegida y, en gene-ral, placentera, hasta entonces nuncahaba tenido que enfrentarse con nadie.Ahora lo vea: era como bucear en la pis-cina a principios de julio; simplementetenas que incitarte a hacerlo. Cuandose baj de la silla alta y estrecha y cami-n hasta donde estaba su prima, el cora-zn le aporreaba engorrosamente el pe-cho y le robaba el aliento. [27]

Le quit de las manos la obra a Lolay, con un tono ms cohibido y agudo queel habitual, dijo:

Si t eres Arabella, entonces yo soyla directora, muchsimas gracias, y lee-r el prlogo.

Lola se tap la boca con su mano pecosa.Perdddn! grit. Slo que-

ra empezar.

Como Briony no saba muy bien qu res-ponder, se volvi hacia Pierrot y le dijo:

No te pareces mucho a la madrede Arabella.

La contraorden al reparto deci-dido por Lola y la risa que suscit

sidle : (along, up) walk in a timid, furtive, stealthy,or cringing manner. Walked down cautiously.Avanzar cautelosa o sigilosamente.

To go or move with one side foremost especiallyin a furtive advance, avanzar furtivamente

thud : a low dull sound as of a blow on a non-resonant surface.

Ruido, golpe o chasquido sordo,

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the boys it provoked, made for a shiftin the balance of power. Lola madean exaggerated shrug of her bonyshoulders and went to stare out ofthe window. Perhaps she herself wasstruggling with the temptation toflounce from the room.

Though the twins began a wres-tling match, and their sister sus-pected the onset of a headache,somehow the rehearsal began. Thesilence into which Briony read theprologue was tense.

This is the tale of spontaneous ArabellaWho ran off with an extrinsic fellow.It grieved her parents to see their first bornEvanesce from her home to go to Eastbourne

Without permission . . .

His wife at his side, Arabellas fa-ther stood at the wrought-iron gatesof his estate, first pleading with hisdaughter to reconsider her decision,then in desperation ordering her notto go. Facing him was the sad butstubborn heroine with the count be-side her, and their horses, tetheredto a nearby oak, were neighing andpawing the ground, impatient to beoff. The fathers tenderest feelingswere supposed to make his voicequaver as he said,

My darling one, you are young andlovely, / But inexperienced, and thoughyou think / The world is at your feet, /It can rise up and tread on you.

Briony positioned her cast; sheherself clutched Jacksons arm,Lola and Pierrot stood several feetaway, hand in hand. When the boysmet each others eye they had a gig-gling fit which the girls shushedat. There had been trouble enoughalready, but Briony began to under-stand the chasm that lay between anidea and its execution only whenJackson began to read from hissheet in a stricken monotone, asthough each word was a name on alist of dead people, and was unableto pronounce inexperienced eventhough it was said for him manytimes, and left out the last twowords of his lines -it can rise upand tread. As for Lola, she spokeher lines correctly but casually, andsometimes smiled inappropriately atsome private thought, determined todemonstrate that her nearly adultmind was elsewhere.

And so they went on, the cousinsfrom the north, for a full half an hour,steadily wrecking Brionys creation,and it was a mercy, therefore, whenher big sister came to fetch the twinsfor their bath.

e n l o s c h i c o s e s t a b l e c i e r o n u ncambio en el equilibrio de poder.Lola alz de un modo exageradosus hombros huesudos y se fue amirar por la ventana. Quizs ellatambin luchaba contra la tenta-cin de huir del cuarto.

A pesar del combate de lucha libreque entablaron los gemelos, y de que suhermana presinti la aparicin de una ja-queca, el ensayo dio comienzo. Fue unsilencio tenso el que se hizo mientrasBriony lea el prlogo.

He aqu la historia de la espontnea Arabellaque se fug con un tipo extrnseco.Afligi a los padres que su primognitadesapareciera del hogar para irse rumbo a Eastbourne

sin su consentimiento ... .

El padre de Arabella, flanqueadopor su esposa, de pie ante las puertasde hierro forjado de su heredad, pri-mero suplica a su hija que reconsideresu decisin y luego, desesperado, leordena que no se vaya. Frente a l tie-ne a la triste pero terca herona, conel conde a su lado, y los caballos,amarrados a un roble, relinchaban ypiafaban de impaciencia. Era de su-poner que los ms tiernos sentimien-tos del padre haran temblar su vozcuando deca: [28]

Querida ma, eres joven y adorable / peroeres inexperta, y aunque pienses / que elmundo est a tus pies, / puede levantar-se y pisotearte.

Briony coloc a los actores en sus si-tios respectivos; ella se aferraba al bra-zo de Jackson, y Lola y Pierrot, cogidosde la mano, estaban a varios palmos dedistancia. Cuando los chicos cruzaron lasmiradas les invadi un acceso de risa quelas chicas silenciaron. Ya haba habidobastantes problemas, pero Briony sloempez a entender la sima que mediaentre una idea y su ejecucin cuandoJackson comenz a leer su hoja con unafligido tono monocorde, como si cadapalabra fuese un nombre en una lista depersonas fallecidas, y era incapaz de pro-nunciar inexperta por muchas vecesque le dijeran cmo se pronunciaba, yse dej las dos ltimas palabras de suparlamento: puede levantarse y piso-tearte. En cuanto a Lola, recit sus l-neas correcta pero negligentemente, y enocasiones sonrea de un modo inoportu-no como si pensara en algo suyo, resueltaa demostrar que su mente casi adultaestaba en todas partes.

Y as continuaron los primos del nortedurante media hora, estropeando gra-dualmente la creacin de Briony, y fueuna bendicin, por consiguiente, que suhermana mayor entrara para llevarse alos gemelos al bao. [29]

flounce 1 (often foll. by away, about, off, out) go ormove with an agitated, violent, or impatientmotion (flounced out in a huff (bufido).

a flouncing movement.flounce 2 a wide ornamental strip of material

gathered and sewn to a skirt, dress, etc.; a frill. trim with a flounce or flounces (volantes).

wrought1 : worked into shape by artistry or effort SHAPED, MOLDED2 : elaborately embellished : ORNAMENTED3 : processed for use : MANUFACTURED 4 : beaten into shape by tools : HAMMERED

used of metals FORGED5 : deeply stirred : EXCITED often used with up

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Two

Partly because of her youth andthe glory of the day, partly becauseof her blossoming need for a ciga-rette, Cecilia Tallis half ran with herflowers along the path that went bythe river, by the old diving poolwith its mossy brick wall, beforecurving away through the oakwoods. The accumulated inactivityof the summer weeks since finalsalso hurried her along; since com-ing home, her life had stood still,and a fine day like this made herimpatient, almost desperate.

The cool high shade of the woodswas a relief, the sculpted intricaciesof the tree trunks enchanting. Oncethrough the iron kissing gate, andpast the rhododendrons beneath theha-ha, she crossed the open parkland- sold off to a local farmer to grazehis cows on - and came up behindthe fountain and its retaining walland the half-scale reproduction ofBerninis Triton in the PiazzaBarberini in Rome.

The muscular figure, squatting socomfortably on his shell, could blowthrough his conch a jet only twoinches high, the pressure was sofeeble, and water fell back over hishead, down his stone locks and alongthe groove of his powerful spine,leaving a glistening dark green stain.In an alien northern climate he wasa long way from home, but he wasbeautiful in morning sunlight, and sowere the four dolphins that sup-ported the wavy-edged shell onwhich he sat. She looked at the im-probable scales on the dolphins andon the Tritons thighs, and then to-wards the house. Her quickest wayinto the drawing room was across thelawn and terrace and through theFrench windows. But her childhoodfriend and university acquaintance,Robbie Turner, was on his knees,weeding along a rugosa hedge, andshe did not feel like getting into con-versation with him. Or at least, notnow. Since coming down, landscapegardening was his last craze but one.Now there was talk of medical col-lege, which after a literature degreeseemed rather pretentious. And pre-sumptuous too, since it was her fa-ther who would have to pay.

She refreshed the flowers byplunging them into the fountainsbasin, which was full-scale, deepand cold, and avoided Robbie byhurrying round to the front of thehouse - i t was an excuse, shethought, to stay outside another fewminutes. Morning sunlight, or anylight, could not conceal the uglinessof the Tallis home - barely fortyyears old, bright orange brick,squat, lead-paned baronial Gothic,to be condemned one day in an ar-

2

En parte por su juventud y el esplen-dor del da, y en parte por su necesidadincipiente de fumar un cigarrillo, Ce-cilia Tallis recorri casi a la carrera consus flores el camino que orillaba el ro,junto a la vieja piscina con su paredmusgosa de ladrillo, antes de internar-se en los robledales. La impulsaba tam-bin la acumulada inactividad de las se-manas de verano despus de los ex-menes finales; desde el regreso a casa,su vida haba estado estancada, y unhermoso da como aqul le insuflabaimpaciencia y casi desespero.

La sombra alta y fresca del bosqueera un alivio, y un hechizo las convul-siones esculpidas de los troncos de losrboles. Despus de traspasar la verja delos besos, dejando atrs los rododendrosdebajo de la cerca, cruz el parque des-cubierto que haba sido vendido a ungranjero local como pastizal para susvacas y lleg detrs de la fuente, elmuro que subsista y la reproduccin amedia escala del Tritn de Bernini en laPiazza Barberini de Roma.

La figura musculosa, tan cmoda-mente acuclillada en su concha, sloacertaba a lanzar por su caracola un cho-rro de cinco centmetros de alto, cuyapresin era tan dbil que el agua le caasobre la cabeza, sobre sus bucles de pie-dra y la ranura de su columna poderosa,dejando una reluciente mancha [30]verde oscura. En un ajeno clima septen-trional, la deidad estaba muy lejos de sucasa, pero era bella bajo el sol de lamaana, as como los cuatro delfines quesostenan la concha de bordes ondula-dos en que estaba encajada. Cecilia mirlas escamas inverosmiles de los delfi-nes, luego los muslos de Tritn y des-pus la casa. El camino ms corto hastael saln era cruzar el csped y la terrazay entrar por las puertaventanas. Pero suamigo de la infancia y conocido de launiversidad, Robbie Turnen estabadesherbando de rodillas un seto de ro-sas rugosas, y a ella no le apeteca tra-bar conversacin con l. O, cuando me-nos, no ahora. Desde que se haba licen-ciado, el paisajismo era su penltima lo-cura. Ahora se hablaba de la facultad demedicina, lo que despus de una licen-ciatura en letras pareca bastante preten-cioso. Y tambin impertinente, pues ha-bra de ser el padre de ella quien le cos-teara estos estudios.

Remoj las flores sumergindolas enla pila de la fuente que, construida a es-cala natural, era profunda y fra, y evita Robbie doblando hacia la fachada dela casa; era un pretexto, pens, para per-manecer fuera algunos minutos ms. Niel sol matutino ni cualquier otra luz po-da ocultar la fealdad de la casa Tallis,que apenas contaba cuarenta aos y eraachaparrada, de un ladrillo anaranjadovivo y de un estilo gtico baronial concristales emplomados, y que haba sidocatalogada un da en un artculo de

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ticle by Pevsner, or one of his team,as a tragedy of wasted chances, andby a younger writer of the modernschool as charmless to a fault. AnAdam-style house had stood hereuntil destroyed by fire in the late1880s. What remained was the arti-ficial lake and island with its twostone bridges supporting the drive-way, and, by the waters edge, acrumbling stuccoed temple.Cecilias grandfather, who grew upover an ironmongers shop andmade the family fortune with a se-ries of patents on padlocks, bolts,latches and hasps, had imposed onthe new house his taste for all thingssolid, secure and functional. Still,if one turned ones back to the frontentrance and glanced down thedrive, ignoring the Friesians alreadycongregating in the shade of widelyspaced trees, the view was fineenough, giving an impression oftimeless, unchanging calm whichmade her more certain than ever thatshe must soon be moving on.

She went indoors , qu ick lycrossed the black and white tiledhall - how familiar her echoingsteps, how annoying - and pausedto catch her breath in the doorwayof the drawing room. Drippingcoolly onto her sandalled feet, theunt idy bunch of rose-baywillow-herb and irises brought herto a better state of mind. The vaseshe was looking for was on anAmerican cherry-wood table bythe French windows which wereslightly ajar. Their south-east as-pect had permitted parallelogramsof morning sunlight to advanceacross the powder-blue carpet.Her breathing slowed and her de-sire for a cigarette deepened, butstill she hesitated by the door, mo-mentarily held by the perfection ofthe scene - by the three fadedChesterfields grouped around thealmost new Gothic fireplace inwhich stood a display of wintrysedge, by the unplayed, untunedharpsichord and the unused rose-wood music stands, by the heavyvelvet curtains, loosely restrainedby an orange and blue tasselledrope, framing a partial view ofcloudless sky and the yellow andgrey mottled terrace where camo-mile and feverfew grew betweenthe paving cracks. A set of stepsled down to the lawn on whoseborder Robbie still worked, andwhich extended to the Triton foun-tain fifty yards away.

All this - the river and flowers, run-ning, which was something she rarelydid these days, the fine ribbing of theoak trunks, the high-ceilinged room,the geometry of light, the pulse in herears subsiding in the stillness - all thispleased her as the familiar was trans-formed into a delicious strangeness.But she also felt reproved for herhomebound boredom. She had re-

Pevsner, o alguno de su equipo, comouna tragedia de posibilidades malgasta-das, y por un escritor ms joven de laescuela modernista como sumamentedesprovista de encanto. All se alzabauna casa de estilo Adam hasta que unincendio la destruy a finales de 1880.Lo que subsista era el lago artificial yla isla con sus dos puentes de piedra quesostenan el camino de entrada, y, a laorilla del agua, un templo de estuco enruinas. El abuelo de Cecilia, que habamedrado con una ferretera y labrado lafortuna familiar con una serie de paten-tes de candados, [31] cerrojos, pestillosy picaportes, haba impuesto a la nuevacasa su gusto por las cosas slidas, se-guras y funcionales. Con todo, si unodaba la espalda a la entrada principal ycontemplaba el camino, sin prestar aten-cin a las frisonas que se congregaban ala sombra de rboles ampliamente es-paciados, el panorama era muy bonito yproduca una impresin de calmaintemporal e inalterable que a Cecilia leinfunda ms que nunca la certeza de quetena que irse pronto de all.

Entr en la casa, cruz rpidamenteel vestbulo de baldosas negras y blan-cas qu familiar era el eco de sus pa-sos, qu molesto e hizo una pausa enla puerta del saln para recuperar elaliento. El desaliado ramo de iris yadelfillas castaas, con su fresco goteosobre sus pies calzados con sandalias,le mejor el nimo. Contempl el ja-rrn que haba sobre una mesa de ma-dera de cerezo americano, junto a lapuertaventana ligeramente entornada.Su orientacin al sureste haba permi-tido que unos paralelogramos de luz desol matutina avanzasen a travs de laalfombra de color azul plvora. El rit-mo respiratorio de Cecilia se redujo ycreci su deseo de un cigarrillo, peropermaneci dubitativa junto a la puer-ta, momentneamente retenida por laperfeccin del escenario: los treschesterfields descoloridos, agrupadosen torno a la chimenea casi de,estilonuevo gtico sobre la que haba un des-pliegue de juncia invernal, elclavicmbalo desafinado que nadie to-caba y los inslitos atriles depalisandro, las pesadas cortinas de ter-ciopelo, dbilmente sujetas por un cor-dn con borlas anaranjado y azul, queenmarcaba una vista parcial del cielosin nubes y de la terraza veteada deamarillo y gris donde camomila y cri-santemos crecan entre las fisuras delsuelo. Un tramo de escaleras conducaal~csped, en cuyo lindero Robbie se-gua trabajando, y que se extenda has-ta la fuente del tritn, a cincuenta me-tros de distancia. [32]

Todo aquello el ro, las flores y elacto de correr, algo que ella raras veceshaca en esa poca, los hermosos surcosde los troncos de roble, la habitacin detecho alto, la geometra de la luz, el lati-do en sus odos que se iba silenciando, todo aquello le agradaba como si lo fa-miliar se transformase en una novedaddeliciosa. Pero asimismo se senta recri-minada por el aburrimiento de su regre-

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turned from Cambridge with a vaguenotion that her family was owed anuninterrupted stretch of her company.But her father remained in town, andher mother, when she wasnt nurtur-ing her migraines, seemed distant,even unfriendly. Cecilia had earnedup trays of tea to her mothers room -as spectacularly squalid as her own -thinking some intimate conversationsmight develop. However, EmilyTallis wanted to share only tiny fretsabout the household, or she lay backagainst the pillows, her expressionunreadable in the gloom, emptyingher cup in wan silence. Briony waslost to her writing fantasies - what hadseemed a passing fad was now anenveloping obsession. Cecilia hadseen them on the stairs that morning,her younger sister leading the cous-ins, poor things, who had arrived onlyyesterday, up to the nursery to re-hearse the play Briony wanted to puton that evening, when Leon and hisfriend were expected. There was solittle I time, and already one of thetwins had been detained by I Bettyin the scullery for some wrongdoingor other. Cecilia was not inclined tohelp - it was too hot, and whatevershe did, the project would end in ca-lamity, with Briony expecting toomuch, and no one, especially thecousins, able to measure up to her fre-netic vision.

Cecilia knew she could not go onwasting her days in the stews of heruntidied room, lying on her bed ina haze of smoke, chin propped onher hand, pins and needles spread-ing up through her arm as she readher way through RichardsonsClarissa. She had made ahalf-hearted start on a family tree,but on the paternal side, at leastuntil her great-grandfather openedhis humble hardware shop, the an-cestors were irretrievably sunk in abog of farm labouring, with suspi-cious and confusing changes of sur-names among the men, andcommon-law marriages unrecordedin the parish registers. She could notremain here, she knew she shouldmake plans, but she did nothing.There were various possibilities, allequally unpressing. She had a littlemoney in her account, enough tokeep her modestly for a year or so.Leon repeatedly invited her tospend time with him in London.University friends were offering tohelp her find a job - a dull one cer-tainly, but she would have her in-dependence. She had interestinguncles and aunts on her mothersside who were always happy to seeher, including wild Hermione,mother of Lola and the boys, whoeven now was over in Paris with alover who worked in the wireless.

No one was holding Cecilia back,no one would care particularly if sheleft. It wasnt torpor that kept her -she was often restless to the point of

so a casa. Haba vuelto de Cambridgecon la vaga idea de que adeudaba a sufamilia un plazo ininterrumpido de com-paa. Pero su padre segua en la ciudady su madre, cuando no estaba cultivan-do sus migraas, pareca distante, inclu-so hostil. Cecilia haba subido una ban-deja de t al cuarto de su madre tanespectacularmente srdido como el suyopropio, pensando que quizs enta-blasen una conversacin ntima. Sin em-bargo, Emily Tallis quera compartir slonimias inquietudes domsticas, o bienyaca recostada en las almohadas, conuna expresin indescifrable en la penum-bra, vaciando su taza en lnguido silen-cio. Briony estaba enfrascada en sus fan-tasas literarias: lo que haba parecidouna aficin pasajera se haba converti-do en una obsesin absorbente. Ceciliahaba visto aquella maana a su herma-na pequea conduciendo a los primos,pobrecillos, que haban llegado la vs-pera, al cuarto de juegos para ensayar laobra que ella quera representar esa no-che, en que se esperaba la llegada deLeon y sus amigos. Haba muy pocotiempo, y Betty ya haba encerrado a unode los gemelos en la trascocina a causade alguna fechora. Cecilia no se sentamuy tentada de ayudar: haca demasia-do calor, e hiciera lo que hiciese el pro-yecto acabara en una calamidad, puesBriony esperaba demasiado y nadie, ymenos an los primos, era capaz de es-tar a la altura de su visin frentica.

Cecilia saba que no poda seguir mal-gastando los das en aquel estado de im-paciencia en su habitacin desordenada,tumbada en la cama y envuelta en unaniebla de humo, con la barbilla apoyadaen la mano y el hormigueo que se le [33]esparca por el brazo a medida que avan-zaba en la lectura de Clarissa deRichardson. Haba hecho una tentativadesganada de establecer un rbolgenealgico, pero los antepasados dellado paterno, al menos hasta que su bis-abuelo abri su humilde ferretera, esta-ban irreparablemente hundidos en unacinaga de labranza de tierras, con sos-pechosos y confusos cambios de apelli-dos por parte de los hombres, y concu-binatos no consignados en los registrosde la parroquia. No poda quedarse all,saba que deba hacer planes, pero nohaca nada. Haba diversas posibilidades,ninguna de ellas apremiante. Disponade algn dinero propio, el suficiente parasubsistir modestamente durante cosa deun ao. Leon le reiteraba invitacionespara que fuese a pasar una temporadacon l en Londres. Amigos de la univer-sidad le ofrecan ayuda para encontrarleun empleo, montono, sin duda, pero quele darla independencia. Tena tos y tasinteresantes por parte de madre quesiempre se alegraban de verla, entre ellasla atolondrada Hermione, madre de Lolay de los gemelos, que en aquel mismomomento estaba en Pars con un amanteque trabajaba en la radio.

Nadie retena a Cecilia, a nadie leimportara mucho que se marchase. Noera el sopor lo que la retena: a menudosu inquietud alcanzaba un grado irrita-

scullery: back kitchen where dishes are washedtrascocina Pieza que est detrs de la cocina y para

desahogo de ella.

wan 1 (of a persons complexion or appearance)pale; exhausted; worn. 2 (of a star etc. or itslight) partly obscured; faint. 3 archaic (of night,water, etc.) dark, black. 4 languid (smile)

Mortecino, marchito,

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irritability. She simply liked to feelthat she was prevented from leaving,that she was needed. From time totime she persuaded herself she re-mained for Brionys sake, or to helpher mother, or because this really washer last sustained period at home andshe would see it through. In fact, thethought of packing a suitcase and tak-ing the morning train did not exciteher. Leaving for leavings sake. Lin-gering here, bored and comfortable,was a form of self-punishment tingedwith pleasure, or the expectation ofit; if she went away something badmight happen or, worse, somethinggood, something she could not affordto miss. And there was Bobbie, whoexasperated her with his affectationof distance, and his grand plans whichhe would only discuss with her father.They had known each other since theywere seven, she and Bobbie, and itbothered her that they were awkwardwhen they talked. Even though shefelt it was largely his fault - could hisfirst have gone to his head? -she knewthis was something she must clear upbefore she thought of leaving.

Through the open windows camethe faint leathery scent of cow dung,always present except on the cold-est days, and noticeable only tothose who had been away. Bobbiehad put down his trowel and stoodto roll a cigarette, a hangover fromhis Communist Party time - anotherabandoned fad, along with his am-bitions in anthropology, and theplanned hike from Calais toIstanbul. Still, her own cigaretteswere two flights up, in one of sev-eral possible pockets.

She advanced into the room, andthrust the flowers into the vase. Ithad once belonged to her UncleClem, whose funeral, or re-burial,at the end of the war she remem-bered quite well: the gun carriagearriving at the country churchyard,the coffin draped in the regimentalflag, the raised swords, the bugle atthe graveside, and, most memora-bly for a five-year-old, her fa

Notes McEwan’s Atonement tr. de Jaime Zulaika … Ian ''Atonement''-Xx... · Notes McEwan’s...

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