Ngiyakuthanda kodwa ngiyakwesaba
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Transcript of Ngiyakuthanda kodwa ngiyakwesaba
Ayishaywa Ingede Ngetshe
Sekuphele iminyaka emine uNqobani egadla zephukela kulentokazi azifela ngayo
yaphesheya komfula uMziyonke esigodini saseZanyana esithuthukile. Igama laleli
phofukazi elisho ngehwanqana elingathi libazwa zonke izinsuku nguNobuhle Biyela,
akuqhalaqhala inkinga yomuntu kanti nakubo kukhonjwa ngophakathi njengoba
kukhona izifundiswa nosomabhizinisi nje. Ohlangothini lukaNqobani kuthanda ukuba
madolo nzima ngoba nezindlu zakubo sezaba neminkenke zabamifantufantu ngenxa
yokuswela kanti futhi zakhiwe ngodaka. Nalendawo abakhe kuyona kukwantuthuko
kayibonwa njengoba namanzi besawabanga nemfuyo nje. UNqobani noNobuhle
basebangeni leshumi manje bobabili bahlukene ngokwemikhakha. UNqobani waqala
ukuyithanda lentokazi eminyakeni eminingi eyadlulayo emva kokuyibona kade
ehambe nomgcagco owawusuka eNtanzini uya eZanyana. Amehlo kaNqobani athi
angabona lobuya buso base maBiyeleni indoda yashaywa wuvalo olalungakaze
luyihlasele selokhu yazalwa. Kuphele iminyaka emibili yonke uNqobani ehleli nalolu
sizi lokuthanda umuntu kodwa engazi yena. Wamudla kakhulu lomzwangedwa
uNqobani, wayeke asuke eNtanzini ngezinyawo ashone eZanyana ngethemba
lokuthi uzofike abone uNobuhle kodwa kwakuvele kube inqina kamabuyaze.
Ngemuva kweminyaka emibili uNobuhle ushintshe isikole ibanga lesiphica munwe
munye wabuya wazolenzela esikoleni sikaNqobani, bafunda nasekilasini linye.
Kwakuboshelwe ngempela kuleli kilasi ngoba kwakuke kuthi nxa kubizwa abafundi
abayishumi abenze kahle ezifundweni zabo bavele baqhamuke kulo bonke.
UNqobani kwakuhlale kunguye obahudula phambili ngenqwaba yemiklomelo
ezifundweni zakhe futhi engumuntu ozithulelayo futhi elungile, isibili sasibanjwa
iqhalaqhala lakoBiyela uNobuhle. Babethi uma sebemisiwe esiteji ngokwezinombolo
zokuphumelela kwabo uNqobani amoyizele into engapheli emi eduze kwesithandwa
senhliziyo yakhe, lapho-ke uNobuhle kwakusuke sekuthe xhifi kuyena ukuba seduze
kwalomfana ohlale ebukana naye angazi noma uqabuka ukubona abantu ngaye yini.
Kuthe ngawo lowo nyaka kuzovalelwa ikhefu laphakathi nonyaka uNqobani
wawuphinda lomkhuba wakhe wokubukana noNobuhle owayehleli ngaphesheya
kwakhe ekilasini ezixoxela nabakhozi bakhe. Yaphenduka njengenhlwathi intokazi
yakoBiyela ibheka uNqobani lapho-ke wavele waswela umgodi wokucasha,
waqhaqhazela umzimba wonke ingakasho lutho nje enguNobuhle. “Kanti wena yini
ngawe ngempela, ulokhu wabukana nami nje?” uNobuhle ememeza eqhalazela
ngaphesheya. UNqobani wake wafikelwa umuzwa wokuthi asukume bese emuthi
hlwi uNobuhle ayophumela naye ngaphandle njengoba ikilasi lase lithule lithe cwaka
lilale iziqengqe zekilasi.
“Hheyi, ukuthi ngiyakuthanda nkosazana kodwa inkinga yami ngiyakwesaba. Indlela
omuhle ngayo ngathi wazibaza wena qobo lakho.” uNqobani ekhulumela phansi
enamahloni. Zabuzana zodwa izingane zithi utheni ngoba zingamuzwanga
lombhemu waseNtanzini; lapho-ke nomunye wayesho lokhuya nomunye asho
lokhuya. “Niyamuzwa ukuthi uthini kilasi?” uNobuhle emi ngezinyawo emoyizela.
Zasho zonke izingane zathi. “Uthini?! Uthini?!” zimemeza ngokushiyana. UNobuhle
wahleka kancane, uNqobani wazizwa eba nethemba. “Uthi umadabudabu
uyangithand…” akabange esakwazi nokuqedela uNobuhle ngenxa yohleko olwase
luqhuma phezulu sekuhleka nabantu esingakaze sabezwa nangelilodwa ilanga bethi
vu. Abanye babehleka baze babhampe ezihlalweni, kulapho-ke okwahleka enye
intombazana yaze yaquleka kwasala utiki ishiye umhlaba. Abanye babenganakile
ukuthi sekunomonakalo njengoba kwase kunakwe labomaphaphiyose babafana
baseZanyana abeza kuNqobani bamhleka baze bamgaxa besulela ehembeni lakhe
elalidabuke emhlane izinyembezi zabo.
UNqobani wadabuka kakhulu njengoba aphenduka inhlekisa isikole sonke
sebefafaze indaba yakhe baze bayinonga abafundi basekilasini lakhe. Kwaze
kwaphela amaholide esaba nokuphuma endlini ngenxa yalokhuya kuphoxeka
akuthola, kodwa-ke uthando lokuthanda uNobuhle lwaqina kakhulu enhliziyweni
yakhe. Izinsika zalo zafana nezikhonkwane eziqinise zasekela izulu nomhlaba.
Zavulwa izikole kwabuyelwa ensimini. Zagadulisana madoda kwakuncane indawo
ilapho-ke umonakalo owadaleka emqondweni nasenhliziyweni kaNqobani owacaca
khona ngoba kwathi nxa kuvalelwa ingxenye yesithathu yonyaka waphuma
isikhombisa, phambili beholwa intokazi yaseZanyana eyayimoyizela ingaqedi,
inhliziyo kaNqobani yayidabuke kakhulu ngokuqhelelelana kwakhe ngebanga
elingaka noNobuhle kodwa ingxenye eningi yayo yayeneme kakhulu
ngokuphumelela kukaNobuhle. Akaphelanga moya lomfokazi waseNtanzini
waqhubeka walubika usizi lwakhe kuNobuhle ukuze lungene emqondweni wakhe
nasenhliziyweni yakhe. Kodwa-ke kwakufana nokuthi uthela amanzi emhlane
wedada ngoba uNobuhle wayesemenyanya kakhulu kunakuqala emva kokuba
izinhloli zakhe uNobuhle zimuthumelele izithombe zezindlu zakhaboNqobani ezase
zingavuma phansi noma kunini.
Kuthe ngonyaka ophelile uNqobani wazimisela kakhulu ezifundweni zakhe,
nangapha kulesi sikweledu sakhe esingakuNobuhle akangaxegisa. Kwaze
kwadabuka umngani kaNobuhle wanxenxa uNobuhle ukuthi akasale eseyizwela
lemvu yeNkosi ngoba kusobala ukuthi ayizenzi ngempela. Izinto ziqale ukuxega
mhla kufika ibhungu eselingudokotela elingumakhelwane kaNqobani, lezwa
ukuxoxozela esizweni sonkana ngentombi yaseZanyana enhle sengathi yazibaza
yona. Leli bhungu lase lazi kamhlophe ukuthi umuntu oseqhulwini kuzo zonke
izesheli zikaNobuhle kwakunguNqobani. Leli bhungu elinguSazi igama lalo
lakhumbula izenzo zikamnewabo kaNqobani owalimuka iqatha emlonyeni
ngokulithathela intombi afike ayithatha kalula nje, ngoba lingenamali. Kuphele
unyaka uSazi eyinyobela lentokazi enguNobuhle efuna ukuyichoboza. Bese
kungazathi isiyazi nayo ukuthi khona okusemvakwayo ngendlela ebisichiliza ngayo
futhi-ke uNqobani ibingasamuzwa ngempela isimuhlinzela ezililini. Kuthe ngenye
imini uNqobani engakalilahli ithemba esalubeka lolu daba laphambilini memfu uSazi
ehamba nge-VW Golf R afike ayimise eceleni kwabo. Avule isicabha sakhe
kuphume ulozolo lwamaphimbo nezinsimbi ezipholile ze-Boyz-2-Men lapho bethi
khona End of the road. USazi avule umnyango wangemuva. “Asambeni.” Kusho
uSazi. “Hhowu, siyaphi?” uNqobani edidekile. UNobuhle asho phakathi avale
umnyango uSazi maqede abhambathe uNqobani ehlombe. Kwakuthi akabulale
umuntu uNqobani uma ezwa lezi zinhlamvu ezase zilokhu ziphindaphindekile nje
emsakazweni walemoto ezithi ‘We belong together…’ Wasala enkemile wababuka
njalo baze bayosithela, bathi mabesithela kwadilika izinyembezi emehlweni akhe,
wakhala waze wayozihlalela yedwa entabeni iNtabalibombo eselahlekelwe
ngamathemba.
Kuthe sekuntambama wehlela ezansi kwentaba amehlo ebomvu tebhu esebuyela
kubo, esekucabangisise kahle azokwenza ukuze ahlukane nalolu sizi. Esazihambela
kanjalo wabona insizwa esiqinile impela iza nganeno igqoke isudu emnyama
nezicathulo ezimnyama izinwele zayo sezimpunga zonke kodwa ibonakala ukuthi
ayigugile yona. UNqobani avele agoba indlela w\ayohlala etsheni eliphansi komtholo
azenze samuntu obopha imichilo yezicathulo, ukuze lobaba ezodlula bese
eziqhubekela naye nohambo lakhe. Lobaba kube sengathi uyadlula ngempela bese
eyigoba indlela eza kuNqobani. “Lahlala lodwa leli bhungu, elakwabani isibongo?”
kubuza lobaba ngezwi elihlabayo. Azizwe ecikeka nje uNqobani. “Uzokwenzani
ngalokho?” uNqobani efudumala. “O, ngiyajabula ukukwazi. Igama lami
nginguLungisani Kunene.” uKunene eletha isandla kuNqobani emoyizela. Livele
lizehlele lona igwebu esifubeni sikaNqobani, alethe isandla sakhe naye.
“NginguNqobani Zulu.” Bexawulana. “Malandela! Hhowu, insizwa ibikhala yini
amehlo abheja igazi nje?” uKunene ebukisisa amehlo kaNqobani. “C-ha cha
Mtimande, ukuthi nje ngi-nenkinga yawo am-ehlo.” uNqobani ephefumula kuzwakale
isibibithwane kancane. “Ngiyezwa mnewethu, kodwa manje sengixakwa
yisibibithwane-ke. Unenkinga yaso naso?” uKunene ekhipha izibuko ezimnyama
ekhukhwini enika uNqobani. UNqobani abindwe isidwa. “Uyangazi mina Mageba?”
“Cha ngiyakwe-shwama Malambule.” uNqobani ebhekisisa uKunene. “Kufanele
Malandela, angiyena owakulelizwe. Ibuyaphi insizwa yakoMalandela?” “O,
bengisaqalaza izinkomo zakithi Malambule njengoba sengibona nali nelanga lishona
nje.” uNqobani ngeliphansi.
“Nangalesikhathi uzinze lapha esicongweni sentaba ubusabheka zona?” uKunene
efulathele. Athule uNqobani. “Mnewethu khuluma ngizokulalela ngikululeke lapho
engingaluleka khona.” “Wee, angi-boni.” uNqobani enikina ikhanda ehla izinyembezi.
“Kufanele lokho, amehlo akho abheje igazi nje.” uKunene ehlala phansi. Aphumule
uNqobani. “Yini ekwenza ucabange ukuthi ungangisiza nje?” uNqobani esula
izinyembezi ngejezi lakhe. “Ngithe ukuba mdadlana kunawe.” uKunene emoyizela
kancane. “Uyabona Malandela, nami bengilingana nawe nje kuleminyakana, konke
ozodlula kukho nosudlule kukho ngikwazi kahle. Ngikwazi kahle ukuhlupheka
kokukhula, ungizwe kahle Malandela angisho ukuthi sengimdala nami; kodwa
sengithe ukukhula kancane. Khuluma-ke uhlushwa yini mnewethu?” uKunene
elungisa uNqobani izibuko azibeke esiphongweni. “Uxole Malambule, angiboni
ukuthi uzo-yizwa lenda-ba.” uNqobani ekhulumela phansi. “Mhlambe nalapho
uqinisile wena wasenhla, hheyi ngike ngahlukumezeka emoyeni wami,
ngihlukunyezwa yintombi ebengiyithanda kabi ngisengangawe.” “Hhawu,
yayikuhlupha ngani? Wenzenjani ukulu-ngisa leyo-nkinga?” uNqobani
enesibibithwane. “O-O, ngayithola inkinga. Yini inkinga phakathi kwakho nale ntombi
oyithandayo?” uNqobani agwinye amathe into engapheli eshaqwe ilombuzo.
Aphumule. “Ayingi-tha-ndi Mtimande, sengizame iminyaka ukutshala lembewu
ekhuliswa ngokulekelelana kuyo kodwa kayiqhumi.” “O, manje? Usucabanga
ukwenzenjani mnewethu?” uKunene ephefumula samuntu ovimbene. “Asengiphelele
amathemba manje Sgweje, senginqume ukuzibulala ngoba vele nale ntombi isiqome
umakhelwane wami ongudokotela ngoba enemali.” uNqobani ekhala.
“Nasi isibhamu mi! Zibulale manje lwabishi!” uKunene ekhipha inhlokohlela
eyishintsha. Kugijime amanzi emgogodleni wonke kuNqobani. “Sithathe phela
uzibulale manje! Ulindeni doti?! Azishe busakazeke manje ubuchopho!” uKunene
esefudumele ehlokoloza uNqobani ngaso isibhamu. UKunene asukume azishaye
amakhala ashone lena nalena, agcwale izinyembezi emehlweni. “Uzobulawa imina-
ke manje!” uKunene ekhomba uNqobani ngesibhamu. “Ngi-yaxolisa mnu-mzana,
unga-kwenzi lo-kho. Ngeke ngi-phinde.” uNqobani eselele phansi ekhala
enesibibithwane. ‘Gqo’ kuduma isibhamu. Kundize izinyoni ezihlahleni, kudume
amakhwela isigodi sonke bezwa lomsindo; kuhlokome izintaba zinanela. UNqobani
avuke athalaze izwe lonke engakholwa. “Usafuna ukushiya ummbila namanje, hhe?”
uKunene evutha. “C-ha cha cha mnu-mzane, hhawu ngisindile. Hhawu ngisindile
nge-mpela.” uNqobani engakholwa. “Lalela-ke. Hlukana phansi nale ntombi
oyithandayo!” “Ini?” “Ungizwe kahle. Uyolandelana nomuntu ongakuthandi kuze
kube nini? Buka nje, uyibhungu elihle kanjani? Uke ucabange nje ukuthi bangaki
abantu abakuthandayo langaphandle njengoba uchitha isikhathi sakho ulandelana
nalomuntu omlandelayo kuhle kwesimaku sebhunu?!” uKunene evutha. “Kodwa
kuhle ukuthandana nomuntu omthandayo…”
“Ehhe. Kanti kubi-ke ukuthandana nomuntu ongakuthandi ngoba uyaye ufune
ukuzibulala. Uzibulalele umuntu ongenandaba nawe!” uKunene ephula uNqobani
ulimi. “Malandela angilwi nawe, ngilwa nenkinga eyacishe yangibulala nami. Nsizwa
yakithi, uma ufa nje ucabanga ukuthi lomuntu wakho uzokuthanda, noma
uzoqhubeka azicathukele kamnandi engasenasicefe?” uKunene athule. “Mina ngithi
isicefe asiqhubeke siphile, sigwinye kubaba kunjalo sisebenze kanzima siziphendlele
indlela eya empumelelweni. Ngiyazi akulula ukukhohlwa ngomuntu, kodwa
kuyenzeka nami ngakwenza. Ukuba ngavumela ukucatshangelwa yinhliziyo ngabe
angikho kumanje. Uzobona-ke mhla waphumelela Malandela, kophosa wena
sebekulandela. Thatha nali ibhantshi lami ngoba angiboni ukuthi sisayophinde
sibonane. Igama lakho unguNqobani njalo, nqoba-ke.” uKunene ekhumula ibhantshi
elimbesa uNqobani maqede amshiye kanjalo aqhubeke nohambo lakhe. “Lomuntu
akayazi lento engiyizwayo, phela luyangibulala uthando lukaNobuhl...” “Luyambulala
na olwakho yena?” uKunene efaka isibhamu sakhe enqulwini eqhubeka ehamba.
UNqobani abuyele esikoleni engasadle nkobe zamuntu, ashaye adume ngazo.
Uphele unyaka aphume ephepheni kulenga nje eceleni kwegama lakhe izifundo
aziphumelele ngamalengiso, adumale nxa engaliboni nangokhalo igama
likaNobuhle.
**** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** **** ****
Lithatha osemsamu limbeke emnyango inkos’ impela, buka ngoba emva
kweminyaka emine umuzi wakwaZulu uNqobani ubesewuvuse wama qingqo uma
ukade wagcina ubusungafika udlule kodwa uze khona. UNobuhle akasahlali nakubo
useyinto nje ehamba ihlala, lapho-ke izintombi seziziphonsa ngenye indlela kulesi
silomo esinguMdidiyeli nombhali wamafilimu uNqobani kudle kona-ke ukuthi
lensizwa inokhakhaya oluqinile; zibuyele emuva sezihlehla. Kuvungame isizwe
sonke mhla kuzwakala ukuthi umfokazi wakwaZulu useqonywe yintombi
yakwaBiyela obese kuyiyona ebisimlandela manje. Izintombi ebese zithembile ukuthi
nanku umendo sezizowuthola kuNqobani zithwale izandla emakhanda uma zizwa
ukuthi usevele walobola nokulobola kwaBiyela zizowushaya kungekudala. Babodwa
ababekhuza ichilo mhla uNqobani egcagcelwa nguNobuhle owashadela ngaphansi
kwemigomo yokuthi kumele ayeke utshwala lobu abesebudla nogwayi lona
abesewubhema, ngenxa yokuthi ubesengundingasithebeni ukuvume konke
okuqhamuka kulomsamariya olungileyo onguNqobani. UNqobani usanda kudidiyela
ifilimi elotshwe nguye uqobo emayelana nezingqinamba zothando, asebeke
bayibona abawuvali umlomo ngenxa yobuciko nendlela ayididiyele ngayo. Indlela
abahlalisene kahle ngayo ayikhombisi ukuthi kuke kwabakhona ohlakaniphe
okudlula omunye phambilini. Kodwa kulezi zinsukwana kubukeka sengathi buqale
phansi ubuqhalaqhala kuNobuhle. Ilanga seliya kokhothama, uNobuhle uzibhemela
umndweza wakhe ngemuva kwendlu ulele ubheke phezulu kwazise noNqobani
uqeda kuphuma nje. “Ake ngisheshe nje angaze abuye uMageba.” uNobuhle
eziqhenya edonsa intuthu. “Sheshisa uqoqe onke amasakana akho uphume uphele
kulomuzi kababa! Kunini kwasa ngikukhuza ngalokubhema kwakho kanti ubungenza
isilima?!” UNqobani evutha bhe. UNobuhle athuke ize imxhile lentuthu yalomdweza
asevele wawufumbatha. “Lokhu akukhona okucabangayo Mageba?” uNobuhle
esondela kuNqobani.
UNqobani ahleke usulu. “O, bengicabanga ini njengoba kungekona lokhu
engikucabangayo?” “Bengi-ngabhe-mi mina.” uNobuhle engingiza. “Ubuwenzani?
Ubushunqa? Njengoba amehlo akho ebhalwe igudu nje kusuka kwesemfene kuya
kwesokuphosa.” “Bengilele n…” “Hhowu, ngokuphuma kwami nje imizuzwana
usulale amehlo aze aba bomvu? Obunjani bona lobo buthongo?” uNqobani eqinisa
amehlo. “Ukuthi nje Mageba…” “Angisafune kuzwa lutho Menziwa, phuma uphele
kulo muzi.” uNqobani ekhulumela phansi. “Hha! Angiyindawo mina. Ungakhohlwa
ukuthi uyangisaba njalo.” uNobuhle ekhuluma aze anyazise izandla sakuqhosha. “O,
ilokho kanti okwenza ungeyise, uphinde ubehlaza njengoba uhlaza nje. Asizwane-ke
ntokazi, ukukwesaba kwami kungokokuhlonipha hhayi kokuthobela umbhedo.
Awuphume-ke kuleli khaya, ngingaze ngikuntshinge mina.” uNqobani ngeliphansi.
“Hha! Kungamane kuphume wena!” uNobuhle ephakamisa izwi. UNqobani
aphumule, avume ngekhanda. Abuyisele izibuko emehlweni akhe. Angene endlini
avathe isudu yakhe kanokusho aziqhole maqede athathe izikhwama zakhe
azihudule ayozifaka emotweni. Angene emotweni ayihlehlise, abheke isibuko abone
uNobuhle emi phakathi nesango ekhala. Ashaye ihutha. “Ngizohamba kanjani manje
uma usunqwahe nendlela? Suka lapho bo hawu! Ufuna ukubona mhlolo muni
ngempela?” uNqobani evele ngewindi. “Angiyindawo, uyaphi ungi-shi-ya ngedwa?”
uNobuhle ekhala. UNqobani azizwe edabuka kancane. “Suka bo ngidlule!” uNqobani
ememeza. “Nx! Ngizokushayisa-ke!” uNqobani ethetha edinekile. “Ngishayise!”
uNobuhle edazuluka kakhulu.
IYAPHELA!!!