New Getting Unstuck: Trust Behaviors & Repair Model MODEL · 2017. 6. 14. · Getting Unstuck:...
Transcript of New Getting Unstuck: Trust Behaviors & Repair Model MODEL · 2017. 6. 14. · Getting Unstuck:...
GettingUnstuck:TrustBehaviors&RepairModel MODEL
WendyFraser,[email protected]
Repairingtrustingroupsandorganizations,bridgingunderstanding,andstrengtheningrelationships
Researchshowsthattherearepatternsofbehaviorsthatsupportorganizationaleffectivenessandstrongrelationships.Ineachcategorybelowtherearesuggestedbehaviorstostrengthentrust.Purposeentailsclarityaboutwhythegroupexists.Whilethis
isprimarilyaleadershipfunction,groupmembersarealsoresponsibleforunderstandingthepurposeandworkingtowardit.Anyuncertaintywilladverselyaffecttherestofthepyramid.
§ Determine–purpose,direction,scope,priorities,andboundaries§ Align–people,systems,andresourcesforsuccess
Rolesofeachpersoninthegroupneedtobefullyunderstoodbyeveryoneinthatgroup.Any
fuzzinessaboutwhoissupposedtodowhataffectshowworkgetsdone,howpeoplecommunicate,andhowtheyinteract.
§ § Establish–clearrolesandresponsibilities;mutualexpectations;andaccountability
§ Set-Up–peopleforsuccess:delegatewellandcreatesupportsystems§ Honor–agreements,commitments,andconfidentiality
CoreProcessesreferstogettingworkdoneeffectivelytocarryoutthepurpose.
§ Improve–operations,relationships,andresults;beopentonewwaysofdoingthings§ Ensure–consistency,reliability,andresponsiveness§ Engage–people;broadendecision-making;askforinput
Communicationincludesthenature,patterns,tone,methods,andintentionsregardinghow
peoplecommunicateandmakedecisions§ Listen–openlywithoutjudgmentorinterruption;andtuneintothequietvoices§ Check-in–onassumptions,intentions,andformutualunderstanding§ Seek–feedback;soundandcurrentdata;andnewperspectives
§ Inform–sharetimely,relevantinformation;avoidsurprises;betransparentandtruthful§ Foster–curiosity,open-mindedness,andengageinhealthychallengestoconventionalthinking
InterpersonalDynamicsinfluenceseverythingandeverythingaboveinfluenceshowpeople
interactwithoneanother.Personalitystyle,familybackground,lifeexperiences,culturalupbringing,education,racial,gender,age,andothersocialanddiverseidentitiesallhaveinfluenceonourinterpersonaldynamics.Withtrustissues,wetendtoexperiencetheinterpersonaldynamicsfirst.
§ StrengthenRelationshipsandConnectivity–investtimeandenergyintobuildingothersup;avoidgossipwhicherodesself-esteemandgroupconnectivity
§ Respect–people’suniquecontributions;honordifferingperspectivesandstyles;beinclusiveandwelcoming
§ Invest–inthegrowthanddevelopmentofothers§ Model–highstandards,integrity,andvulnerability§ Acknowledge–mistakes;yourimpactonothers;andapologizetimelyandsincerely
GettingUnstuck:TrustBehaviors&RepairModel MODEL
WendyFraser,[email protected]
Repairingtrustingroupsandorganizations,bridgingunderstanding,andstrengtheningrelationships
Trustmattersbecauseourdailylivesdependontrustingotherswhetherweareconsciousaboutitornot.Purchasingfood,seekinghealthcareadvice,drivingtowork,educatingchildren,banking–almostalldecisionsinvolvetrustingsomeoneelse.Sometimes,groupsexperiencedifficultiesinworkingtogether.Whenthesestemfromtrustissues,itmaycompletelyimpedegroupeffectivenessandproductivity.Inthiscase,youhavechoices.Doyouworkonrepairingit?Whatisthecosttorepairversusnotrepairing?Ifyoustillneedtoworkwiththisgroupof
people,thentrustrepaireffortsbecomenecessary.Thismodelbelowisresearch-basedandhasprovenusefulingroupsandorganizationsworkingontrustrepair.
GettingUnstuck:TrustBehaviors&RepairModel MODEL
WendyFraser,[email protected]
TriggerEvent(s)
Sometimestrustwithinagrouperodesovertimebecauseofaseriesofsmallthings:missingsoftdeadlines,claimingemailswereneverreceived,ordoingsloppyworkknowingthatothersinthegroupwillfixit.Othertimes,trustexplodesoverasingleincident.
Reflect1) Asafirststep,whensomeonefeelstriggeredwithemotionsfromtrustviolations,it’simportanttoreflectontheexperience.Interviewthefeelings:“WhyamIfeelingthisway?”“Whydidthissituationbotherme?”2) Becauseweareoperatinginasystem,allpartsareinter-relatedandinter-connected.Peoplemustfirstconsidertheirowncontributiontothesituation.Everyoneplaysapartin
howthetrustviolation(s)happened–whetherconsciousorunconsciousaboutit.Sofirst,consideryourself.Thenconsiderothersontheteam–whatdidtheydotocontributetothesituation.Then,theremaybeinfluencesfromoutsidetheteamororganizationthataffectedthetrustscenario.
Understand3) Takethetimetofindoutwhathappened.Collectsoundandcurrentdataduringthefactfinding.Sometimes,it’sjustmisunderstandingormiscommunication.Gandhioftentalkedaboutseekingthe“ThirdTruth”whichmeansyoubringyourtruthaboutwhathappenedandI’llbringmine,andtogetherwecreatethethirdtruth.Ashumanbeings,wemissthingsordon’tknowwehadanadverseimpactonsomeoneelse.Thisfactfindingphaseiscriticaltoputtingtogetherasmanyofthepiecesofthepuzzletogetheraspossible.4) Acknowledgeyourpartandacknowledgeifanypainoccurredtotheotherperson(s)ifyoudidsomething.Evenifyoudidn’tmeanit,
acknowledgementmatters.And,ifanapologyisneeded,makeonesincerelyandtimely.
Repair
5) Engageinrepairactivities.Dependingonthesituation,therearemanyapproachestosupportingteamsastheyworkthroughtrustrepair.Remembertoseekfeedbackalongthewaytogaugeprogress.Someteamstake6–36monthstoworkthroughrepairactivities.Bepatient.6) Createagreements.Teamsneedstructureandagreements–bothaboutprocess,rolesandresponsibilities,butalsoabouthowtheyintendtocommunicatetogether,howtheyintendtomakedecisions,who’sinvolvedinthoseandwhen.Butmoreso,agreementsonthehumansidetoo–likegroundrulesortheirownteamengagementbehaviorstheywanttoseeandexperience.
Evolve
7) Movingforwardwithtrustrepairmeansacceptanceandforgiveness,butitalsomeanshonoringnewagreements.Itmeansnotholdingpeoplehostagetomomentsintimebeforewhentheyletyoudown.Wemustletpeoplegrowandevolveandindoingso,weletourselveschangeandgrow.Remembertoappreciatethestepsforwardandnotplaythe“gotcha”gamebywastingenergyoncatchingpeopleslipbackintooldpatterns.Helpredirectthemandthesituation.Usehumor,patience,perseverance,andalittlegrace.
GettingUnstuck:TrustBehaviors&RepairModel MODEL
WendyFraser,[email protected]
TheArtoftheApology(Lewicki,Polin,&Lount,2016)1. Anexpressionofregretfortheoffense…“I’msorry”2. Anexplanationofwhytheoffenseoccurred3. Anacknowledgementofresponsibilityforcausingtheoffense4. Adeclarationof“repentance”thattheviolatorwillnotrepeattheoffense5. Anoffertorepairwhateverdamagemayhavebeencausedbytheoffense6. Arequestforforgivenessforhavingcommittedtheoffense
SettingupyourWorkTeamforSuccess–beforeanyissuessurface1. Createastrongstructuralbase:Usecharters,setclearrolesandresponsibilities,createsupport
systems.2. Acknowledgepastandpresentrealities:Saywhereyouhavemessedupinthepast,howyou
learned,andwhatyouintendtododifferently.3. Beauthenticandtransparentaboutintentions,hopes,andissuesthatmayconcernyou:Beopento
changingyourmind.4. Havefaithandconfidenceinyourpeopleandtheirwork:Communicateoftentoyourteam;
Acknowledgeandappreciatetheirwork;andbeclearaboutyourexpectations.
Suggestionstohandletrustissues–duringthesituation(s)1. Refertotheagreements:Doesanythingneedamending?2. Acknowledgetrustissuesareemerging:Exploreandreflectontherootcauses;talkitthrough;be
willingtoalterapproach;andownyourpartinthesituation.3. Takethetime,havepatience,showempathy,andevenalittlebitofhumorcangoalongway.
Suggestionstohandletrustissues–afterthesituation(s)1. Acknowledgeyourpartandapologizeasnecessary(timelyandsincerely)2. Beintentional,transparentandwillingtoexploreallsides.Seekaneutralspacetodiscuss.3. Strengthenandmodifyagreements–likecharters,roles,responsibilities,anddecisions.4. Reaffirmandcommunicateintentions–createlearningstoriesandsharethemwidelywhile
honoringanyconfidentialagreementsmade.
Notes§ Takethetimetolistenandworkthroughtheissues.Itmaytakeseveralmeetings,weeksormonths.§ Beintentionalandtransparent.Youmustwanttorepairtheissuesandnotjustgothroughthemotions.§ Stickwithit…evenifitfeelsmessyanduncomfortable.Intheend,it’sworthit!