Never Sell Coaching

8/13/2019 Never Sell Coaching

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PersonalSuccessDecember2006

VOLUME1ISSUE1

Y

OUR

PERS

ONAL

COAC

Talane Miedaner on attracting success

Why you should

NEVER SELL COACHING

Four Steps To

CONFIDENT COACHING

WHY GOAL SETTING

MAKES YOU MISERABLE

The 10 Key Factors That

GUARANTEE SUCCESS FOR

CORPORATE COACHING

WHAT IS NLP?

How to be a mega

People to inspire you

YOURE NEVER TOO OLD

Business tips, coaching advice,

and much much more!


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EXECUTIVE COACHING

20 10 KEY FACTORS THAT

GUARANTEE SUCCESSThe most comprehensive survey ofcorporate coaching ever conductedwill help managers and coaches todeliver more powerful results. Itsauthor Frank Bresser (MBA) explainshow.

BUSINESS BUILDING

22 MARKETING: WHYYOU SHOULD NEVER SELLCOACHINGSteve Mitten, Master Coach, andauthor of Marketing Essentials forCoaches, reveals all.

BACK PAGE

24 MY DAY

Even after 25 years spent as aprofessional coach and trainingconsultant, Sarah-Jane Menato stillfeels passionate about her work.

COACHING DEVELOPMENTS

14 WHAT IS NEURO

LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING?We explain what NLP is, how it worksand why it has become so widelyused.

16 THE NLP COACH?The mere mention of NLP sendssome coaches into apoplectic rage.But others argue coaching and NLPare a perfect match.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT

18 THE EIGHT SECRETSOF GOAL-FREE LIVINGStephen Shapiro, author of Goal-FreeLiving, says setting and pursuinggoals is the way to misery.

19 FOUR STEPS TO

CONFIDENT COACHINGTop Internet coaching mentor, DavidWood believes successful coachingrelies on supreme self-confidence.

Publishers Letter

Welcome to the Coaching Academys newAcademy Club and thank you for joining. Itgives me great pleasure to present our brandnew magazine, Personal Success and to let youknow that as an Academy Club member, you willreceive a free copy of the magazine each monththrough the mail.

The Academy Club is a way of introducing thebest personal development and coaching ideasto a wider audience, coaches and non-coaches

alike.

I have started The Academy Club in order to cre-ate a community of like-minded, positive peoplewho want to make a difference to the worldaround us. Personal development and coachingin particular have made a huge difference to mylife and I want to share what I have learned withas many people as possible.

Over the next few months, we will be organis-

ing Academy Club networking events, exclusiveseminars, an online resource and a forum wherefor a low cost you can advertise your services toother Club members.

So, who else is a member of The Academy Club?Well, we have coaches and NLP practitioners,trainers and consultants, speakers and men-torsin general, people interested in their ownpersonal and professional development.

For you to receive maximum value from theAcademy Club, you need to get involved; readPersonal Success, come to the networkingevents, join in with the online discussions whichwill be happening on the Academy Club website(when launched in 2007) and respond to theadvertisers. The more involved you become, themore value you will receive.

The more members we have, the more re-sources, ideas and inspiration there will be to

share. So please tell people that you think wouldreceive value from membership and point themto the online sign-up form you used to join.

If you would like to contribute an article, contactthe Editor, Marie-Louise Cook at the contactdetails opposite and please do email with yourcomments on Issue One!

Thank you for joining and enjoy your first issueof Personal Success.

Best WishesJonathan Jay - Publisher

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PEOPLETO

INSPIREYOU

22

WHY

YOUSHOULDNEVER

SELLCOACHING

WHATS INSIDE

CONTENTS 3

DECEMBER 2006 - PERSONAL SUCCESS


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or will our goals to fruition. This can beunnecessarily frustrating, stressful andunhealthy. When we are at our best, doingfulfilling work and feeling happy andexcited about life, it is natural to attractsuccess.

Miedaner certainly walks the talk - sincebecoming a coach herself, her life hasbeen transformed. She found a way torelease all the things in her life that

drained her energy and has become byanyones standards mega successful.Shes the one after all who bought whathas to be one of the best website namesin the industry: www.lifecoach.com.I was lucky to be one of the firstcoaches out there and snapped upwww.lifecoach.com. This has been a greatboon as we get thousands of hits all thetime and as the profession grows, it justkeeps getting better. Funnily enough, I

was disappointed at the time becausesuccesscoach.com was already taken. Ihad no idea that lifecoach would becomethe generic term for coaches and wasclueless about the power of the Internet.Pure luck.

And shes the one who released a bookCoach Yourself To Success(McGraw-Hill Contemporary) just as the coachingphenomenon began to spread. The book

became an international bestseller. Shesappeared on TV programmes and inmagazines and newspapers in the US andthe UK.

Ditch the goals, the To Do listsand all those worthy but ultimately

disempowering shoulds and mustsif you want to become successful, saysTalane Miedaner, one of the worlds mostprominent and successful life coaches.People who relentlessly pursue goals aresetting themselves up for frustration,stress and disappointment, she adds,explaining that to be successful you needto make yourself attractive.

Being attractive in this sense is not abouthaving shiny hair and polished shoes(although they will obviously make youfeel good). Miedaner is talking aboutbeing energised so that you become anatural magnet for success. You cando things that take away your energy orthings that give you energy. The moreenergy you have, the more attractiveand powerful you will be. People who

are energetic and full of life, people whoare doing what they most love to do, aresuccessful.

All too often, people think the only way toget what they want is by writing out goalsand then doggedly going after thosegoals. There are two basic approachesto getting what you want in life, whetheryoure after money, love, or opportunitiesin business, explains Miedaner. You set

your goal and go after it or you attractyour goal to you. Weve been trainedto use the first method but it oftendoesnt work. We end up trying to force

There are twoto getting wha

Talane Miedaner, the woman behind the international best-seller CoachYourself To Successand owner of one of the most coveted websitenames in the industry, www.lifecoach.com, explains how you can attractall the success you want. By Marie-Louise Cook.

success

How to be a mega

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HOW TO BE A MEGA SUCCESS

COVER STORY

PERSONAL SUCCESS - DECEMBER 2006


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Ten years ago, it was a completelydifferent story. At 29, Miedanerwas single, living in New York andholding down a job with a prestigiousbank. It was a successful life butbehind the glamorous faade was awoman mired in debt and desperateto change her career. Going to a

job I didnt want to do anymorewas stressful, she recalls. In CoachYourself To Success, she goes furtherand confesses that while walking towork one morning she had the vaguethought that shed rather be hit bya bus and have to go to hospitalthan go to work. I had visions ofmyself happily reading books whilein traction, she tells me, adding,I caught myself having that vague

thought and thought Good grief! Imust find a different job.

Banking had never been her firstchoice of career: shed wanted to bea diplomat. Armed with a degree inInternational Affairs from GeorgetownUniversitys School of Foreign Serviceand a Masters degree in English, shehad applied to the Foreign Servicebut after three failed attempts at

the exam, was forced into a rethink.She chose banking largely becauseit seemed to offer internationalpostings and lots of travel. Ironically,the only place the bank sent me wasback to Georgetown to recruit oncampus. It was hardly the stuff ofdreams.

An entrepreneur at heart, she grewfrustrated with the achingly slowrate of change in banking. Thenof course, there was the politics,the hierarchy, the sexism, thebureaucracy.

basic approachest you want in life...


COVER STORY 5


You set yourgoal and goafter it or youattract yourgoal to you.


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Finding a job in another industry wasimpossible since her experience by thenwas all finance-related. I knew thatthere was something better out there,something that would be more alignedwith who I was and what I wanted to do inthis world but I just couldnt articulate it.

She might still be working in banking ifnot for the intervention of a life coach.Id like to say that I hired a coach to helpme figure out what to do with my life butI hadnt even heard of coaching. My coachThom Politico found me. He asked meif he could coach me and I told him, aspolitely as I could, to get lost.

To this day, Im am extremely gratefulthat he was persistent because it changedmy life completely. He encouraged herto take better care of herself. He alsorecognised that her interest in personaldevelopment, her empathy with others

and her enthusiasm for life would makeher an ideal coach. He saw the potentialin me that I couldnt see and encouragedme to become a coach myself. I was blindto my greatest strengths. Ive had thesame thing with my clients where theirbest gifts are what they take for granted they dont even see them as gifts.Thats where coaching helps people. Acoach should be able to see some of yourstrengths and special gifts and help you

turn your life around.

She enrolled on a two year, distance-learning course with Coach University,one of only two courses available at thetime. Although she took to coachingeffortlessly, she doubted it could be afull-time occupation. The industry was

still so new that when she told people shewas training as a coach they would ask,In what sport?

She soon changed her mind. I startedcoaching some clients for free while I wastraining. As I started getting a little moreconfident, I began to charge. Professionalrates were then between $US200and $250 (110 and 137) for threetelephone coaching sessions a month butMiedaner charged her clients $100 (about

55) a month. That all changed when oneof her clients said she felt uncomfortablepaying such a low fees so they agreedupon a rate of $250.

That was the turning point. I realisedthat this was actually something I couldmake some money from doing. It gaveme a lot of confidence. She didnt resignfrom banking immediately, having takenher coachs advice that before she left

the bank to set up her own practice, sheshould clear her $10,000 credit carddebts and have two years worth of livingexpenses saved.

It was excellent advice because I hadabsolutely no pressure to get clientswhen I finally quit banking, which wasabout three months before I finished mycoach training. Instead, I went up to thecoast and hung out in a beach house for

a few months and wrote Coach YourselfTo Success. If I had been under financialpressure I would have stayed in NewYork and tried to drum up business andmay never have had the time to write mybook which has turned out to be the bestmarketing tool for my coaching business.

She was able to leave the bank earlierthan she or her coach had anticipated,thanks to a merger between her bank

and the Chemical Banking Corporation.She was given a voluntary redundancypackage with six months salary.

In the years since she trained, publicawareness of life coaching has increasedgreatly thanks to widespread mediacoverage. This has helped to give theindustry credibility, particularly in thenotoriously conservative corporate world.

Corporations used to look askanceat coaching but now Human Resourceexecutives recognise coaching as acompletely valid, effective tool for

business improvement and performance.

In fact, the corporate world has embracedcoaching so heartily that universities inthe US and the UK have responded byoffering their own coaching programmes.The fact that universities are offeringcoach training will make it more academicbut people want results so the practicalsolutions will win out in the end. It alsogives the profession more credibilityand legitimacy. She recommends all

new coaches get full university degreesin whatever topic theyre interestedin then follow it up with a practicalcoaching training course so they cancompete successfully with coaches whohave advanced degrees and high levelsof professionalism. Its one reason whyshe believes only people with a businessbackground should consider specialisingin corporate coaching.

It really helps if you have had somecorporate experiences and understandthe hierarchy of business and thepolitics that go on. If you dont have anexperience of it, you could actually givesomeone bad coaching and really screwup. Its a different world and if youre notfamiliar with how that world works, youcould really get a client into trouble.

Although she has worked with executives,

public officials, entrepreneurs, andbusiness owners around the world,Miedaner still calls herself a life ratherthan corporate coach. I find with mycorporate clients, many of whom aresenior executives, that what they want islife coaching. Like most people, they hirea coach for career reasons because theywant to be more successful or they wantto quit and work on their own businessor they are in a tricky life transition. Most

people justify the expense of coachingbecause its for their careers.

What they dont realise is that workingon their personal lives is often the mosteffective way to be more successful intheir careers. The personal things I workon with people actually help their careersskyrocket. Many women Ive worked withhave broken through the glass ceiling.

We try so hard to separate our lives intodepartments this is my personal life andthis is my career. The reality is that weare only ever one person if somethings

6


COVER STORY


I dont think Iwould ever giveup personalcoaching as I

love doing it.


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off in your personal life, its going

to be affecting your career or yourbusiness life. My clients and I workon all fronts business and personal.Nothings excluded anything cancome up it can be your business,your career or about how your boss,your husband or your kids are drivingyou mad. People dont expect thatfrom coaching. Theyve said theywant to get their business off theground and end up talking about

their teenage daughters and howthey want a better relationship withthem. They dont hire me becausethey think they have a problem withtheir children but it comes up andwhen its resolved, their energy isfreed up to focus on their business.Its funny how things work peoplenever realise how much you can dowith coaching.

As far as choosing other specialitiesor niches in coaching are concerned,she recommends letting the processevolve naturally. I tell people toexperiment, coach anybody. Thecoaching business you end up withmight not be what youd expect.

Most of what coaching is about isfinding out what you really love todo and then setting up your life so

youre just doing stuff that you love.

She speaks from experience, havingfound that marriage to an Englishman, Paul Fox and the birth of theirfirst child together has completelychanged her business plans. Whileher Talane Coaching Company is stillNew York-based with five coachesworking for it, she is now based inEngland. Shes cut her work schedule

down to teaching one teleclass andcoaching 10 clients a month (whoeach pay between 350 and 400 amonth for three coaching sessions)so that she can spend as much timeas possible with her daughter. Nowthat shes expecting a second child,shes busy working with an Internetmarketing whiz to find ways toincrease her passive income whilereducing the amount of time she

spends at her desk even further.

I dont think I would ever give uppersonal coaching as I love doing

it, but Ive been looking at waysto create more passive income.And I know from the readers of mybook that many of them would likecoaching, but simply cant afford thefees. They have asked for somethingaffordable, that would get themstarted so that eventually they canafford a private coach.

Interestingly, shes found that shemakes far more money now than she

ever did working for the bank. I usedto think that the harder you work,the more money you make but uponcloser inspection, Ive decided thereverse is true. Ive learned the morefun I have, the more money I make.When Im having fun, I seem to beable to add more value to the worldand be paid correspondingly.

I am now doing exactly what I love

to do. My work is incredibly fulfilling.I have found the man of my dreamsand we live in a beautiful houseby the sea. Best of all, we have agorgeous little girl. I have an amazinglife that I thoroughly enjoy. Nowthat is success. And Im no longerinterested in getting hit by a bus.

Talane Miedaner can be contactedat www.lifecoach.com and herbook Coach Yourself To Successis published by (McGraw-HillContemporary).


COVER STORY 7


It really helpsif you have had

some corporateexperiences andunderstand thehierarchy ofbusiness and thepolitics that go on.

FURTHER INFORMATION


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Give your mind a workout and

visit The Mind Gym for tips,information and techniques atwww.themindgym.com.

BOOST YOUR CREATIVITYStart from a different place:

sometimes you can be too closeto a business to see the obvious.Our brains are fundamentally lazyand will continually try to make theobvious conclusions. The trick is totry to surprise your brain into doingsomething new. I get my bestideas when I have a hangover and jotthem into a special hangover book.

Caspian Woods

From Acorns how to build yourbrilliant business from scratch(Pearson Education Ltd., 2004)

TIME MANAGEMENTThe tortoise and hare fable stilloffers a useful lesson. I learnedyears ago that if you think you cancomplete a job in fifteen minutes,its apt to take all day. If you workcarefully as though you have got allday, it will often require only fifteen

minutes.

Monty RobertsJoin-Up: Horse Sense For People(Harper Collins, 2000)

HOW TO PROFIT FROM YOURCOMPETITIONInstead of worrying about howyour competitors are going to beatyou, look to them as a source ofopportunities. Ask yourself, Whatare my competitors doing thatsworking? What can I do to profit fromtheir growth? You might find thatyour competitor is taking advantageof a side of your business that isnt

getting the attention it deserves. Andthats a cause for celebration, notfear.

Michael MastertonEarly To Rise(online newsletter)

LIFES FUNDAMENTALSKnow what you wantKnow why you want itDiscover your talentsUse them dailyWork hardWork smartGive unconditionally

Love unconditionallyFind your purposeLive your purpose.

Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansenand Les HewittThe Power of Focus(Vermilion, 2001)

1. Focus on being interested inthe other person, be curiousand discover what interests youabout the other person. Considerthe other persons beliefs andexperiences.

2. Suspend judgement focuson what they are saying ratherthan your analysis of it.

3. Use questions to find acommon ground.

4. Quieten your internalconversation. If you becomedistracted, focus your attentionon what the other person is doing,thinking or feeling.

5. Practise matching theirbehaviour. This is a verypowerful form of rapport building.

SETTING UP A COACHINGPRACTICEAssessing the businessIn assessing where you are before

starting out, think about your skillsunder four headings:

1. Your operations/coaching skills2. Your financial management skills3. Your sales and marketing skills4. Yourself

When you run your own coachingpractice, you need to be multi-skilled.Talk to others who have run theirown businesses and in particular

talk to other coaches who run theirown coaching practices. In gatheringviews, aim to answer five questionsyourself:

1. What should I have in each ofthe above categories?

2. What do I currently have?3. What is missing in each

area (skill/service/process/technology)?

4. What resources do I need toclose the gap?

5. What support do I need?

All of us have gaps in our strengthswhen we start out: the key to successis having a plan to manage them.

Alex Szabo,Setting up and running yourcoaching practice

Excellence in Coaching,The Industry Guide(Kogan-Page, 2006)

ADVICE

EXPERT ADVICE 9


BY THE MIND GYM

Five Ways

To Build Rapport

omet mes you can e too c ose to abusiness to see the obvious


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Have you read a personal development book, listened to an audioprogramme or attended a seminar and want to share your views on

it? Tell us what you did or didnt like and whether youd recommend it. We

can withhold your name and details if you prefer. Send your review in anemail to [email protected].

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Instant Confidence The Power ToGo For Anything You Want!Paul McKenna(Bantam Press, 2006)

The man who has done more thanany other person in the UK to bringpersonal development into the

mainstream has come up trumps yetagain with his latest offering, InstantConfidence.

On page one, he states that he haswritten the book in a way that plantsseeds of confidence, self-belief andmotivation in your unconscious mind,seeds that will be activated when youlisten to the accompanying mind-programming CD. This puts readers

in an expectant state from the outset,and they wont be disappointed.McKenna has distilled all thatsimportant and which works into aseries of powerful techniques toensure anyone who follows them willdevelop more confidence. It is yetanother winner from the UKs mostsuccessful self-help author.

McKenna says reading the book is like

sitting in on one of hissuccess seminarsand having bumpedinto someone whosjust completed oneof his courses (andtransformed in thespace of a week intoa dynamic, confidentenergetic person),this seems like

incredible value.

Coach Yourself To Success 101Tips from a Personal Coach forReaching Your Goals at Work andin LifeTalane Miedaner(McGraw-Hill Contemporary)

Life coach Talane Miedaner (our

Cover Story this issue) says to bemore successful you simply need toget rid of the major energy drainsin your life and replace them withpositive energy boosters. The moreenergy you have, the more attractiveand powerful you will be.Youre encouraged to begin bymaking small changes, taking careof the things that bug you on a dailybasis like a missing jacket button,

for instance, so that you gain themomentum and courage to tacklethe more challenging areas in yourlife. Divided into 10 parts with 10tips in each, the book covers topicslike finance, time management,relationships, and communication.Pick just one of the tips which rangefrom the immediate to the long-termand do it. Youll be amazed howpowerful the effect on your life is

and how much funyou can have whileyoure doing it.I love this book its practical,eminently sensibleand best of all, itworks (so fast thatitll take your breathaway). Definitelyworth adding to

your bookshelf!

Wake Your Mind Up

The Mind Gym(Time Warner Books, 2005)

Feel as if youve tumbled into a rutand cant climb out? Read Wake YourMind Upfrom The Mind Gym - itllsharpen your mental processes andmake clambering out of any slump acinch. If it sounds too much like hardwork, fear not. This is a book madefor the exercise-shy chapters are

easy to read, you get to design yourown reading programme (to targetyour specific problem areas thussaving you the energy of reading theentire book at any one go) and mostof all, its fun.

The book sprang from the successand popularity of the 90-minute MindGym workouts that have taken placein workplaces across the UK, the US,

Australia and Europe. So far, over100,000 people have exercised theirminds with Mind Gym and of those,93% said they would use what theyhad learnt. Wake Your Mind UpbyMind Gyms founders, managementconsultant Octavius Black andbusiness psychologist SebastianBailey, includes the most popularhints, tips and techniques from thecorporate workouts and is based ona centurys worth of psychologicaltheories.

The book has five sections and eachof these is divided into chapters.Readers are encouraged to take anassessment at the beginning of thebook to discover which chaptersare most relevant to them so theyread only those parts which dealwith their area of interest. For thosewho are bitten by themental exercise bug,theres an addedbonus: each bookhas a password thatallows access to theMind Gym websitewith advancedquestionnaires,exercises and a

members forum.

Book Reviews

10

BOOK AND SEMINAR REVIEWS

REVIEWS



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1.Think positively. Break the habitof putting yourself and everythingelse down. When you catch yourselfthinking negatively, stop it.

2.Learn to see problems aschallenges that can be overcome.Remember: you always have options.

3.Never say never again. Everythingis possible.

4.

If you make a mistake, dont dwellon it. Learn what you can from it

and move on.

5.Cut big problems down to size.Think of one thing you can dotoday to improve a situation. Focus allyour energy on achieving it.

6.Tackle challenges head-on.Procrastination only delays things,it doesnt solve them.

7.Spend at least a minute every daycontemplating all the things youhave in your life to be grateful for.

8.Ask yourself empoweringquestions. In the midst of a crisis,for example, dont ask why you got intothis mess; ask how can you improve it.

9.Do what you can to minimisestressful situations. If you face amad rush in the mornings, for example,get up earlier, have your clothes andpaperwork ready.

10.Look for at least onereason a dayto laugh. Research

shows laughterreleases feel-goodchemicals in thebrain.

Mark Victor HansenThe Enlightened WayTo Wealth YES! Group meetingRoyal National Hotel, London WC1

Mark Victor Hansen, co-author of theextremely successful Chicken Soupfor the Soulseries, drew a capacityaudience when he spoke on TheEnlightened Way to Wealth recently.Eight hundred people were treated toa whirlwind tour through the mentalprocesses that attract huge wealth,touching briefly on topics such ascreating multiple streams of income,dreaming big and engaging in resid-ual philanthropy. To say Hansen is an

enthusiastic speaker is to massivelyunderstate the case dripping withsweat, he spoke at breakneck speed,tossing out new ideas and thoughtsby the second. His method of encour-aging group participation, by gettingthe audience to repeat every thirdor fourth phrase while raising theirhands in the air or high-fiving theirneighbour, probably wouldnt appealto everyone but worked well in this

instance because he was addressingthe equally energetic and enthusiasticYES! Group, made up of people whoare already converted to the self-helpmessage.

The complimentary paperback copyof The One Minute MillionairebyHansen and Robert Allen (Vermillion)given to all attendees was a generousgift and provided a comprehensive

guide to enlightened wealth building.

eminars avourite QuotesFAVOURITE QUOTES OF THE MONTH

10 Stress Relief Tips

BOOK AND SEMINAR REVIEWS

REVIEWS 11


Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.

Karen Kaiser Clark

How do you go from where you are to where you want to be?I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to

have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it.

Jim Valvano

elieative

prah

PEOPLE TO INSPIRE YOU


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Reaching For The Skies At 71ArrivalsCheck-in

Evelyn Gregory first applied tobecome a flight attendant when she

was 70 years old. She was determined tomake a good impression at her interviewso when the young man from US Airwaysasked what her ambitions were for thenext 15 years, she answered candidly andwith customary good humour, Well, at85, Id like to be alive!

Despite being flown across America forthe second round of interviews, Gregorydidnt get the job. Disappointed butundeterred, she sent out a barrage ofapplications letters to every airline. Ireceived letters saying either they werenthiring, or that my resume was impressiveand that theyd keep it on file. Shecontinued, positive a job would come.

Six months had passed when she spottedanother US Airways advertisement and

re-applied. Once again, she made it tothe second stage of interviews but wasturned down yet again. Some may havethrown in the towel at that point but notGregory. She applied to be an airline gateagent with CC Air at Charlotte airportin North Carolina, figuring shed have abetter chance of being taken on as a flightattendant if she was already working forthe company.

I went to Charlotte and spoke to thegentleman who was doing the hiring andtold him about my desire and the longingin my heart to be a flight attendant. I said,

Since you say that you hire from withinfor your flight attendants, I would be morethan happy to work for you. I think thatI would enjoy it and I know I would do agood job for you.

He agreed after all, she had been theassistant vice-president of a bank beforeretiring at 65 - and gave her the job thatday. Six months later, her supervisor toldher that Mesa Airlines, which had officesat the airport, was hiring cabin crew. Iwent upstairs on my break to see thegirl in charge of interviewing for Mesa. Ithink my supervisor had already told herabout me because she had me fill out theapplication and said Well, when wouldyou like to go to ground school?

Gregory had wanted to be a flightattendant since she was a teenager. Backin the 1940s, it was a whole lot tougher to

get to the interview stage: applicants hadto be registered nurses, to weigh less than120 lbs, and to be under 26 years of age.Gregory found the prospect of unlimitedair travel and adventure completelyalluring but her father objected and, sincerebellion was out of the question, she putthe dream aside. What my father said wasnext to what God would tell you. He wasvery protective.

His protectiveness went beyond vetoinghis daughters career choice: four yearslater, he refused to give her away on herwedding day. I have never met a man Idgive you to yet, he told her.

He liked my fianc Coy and knew hisparents so it wasnt that. He was just soprotective of me that he wouldnt agree toserve in the wedding. He sat and cried onmy wedding day and so did I.

Marriage to Coy ended Gregorys dreamof being a flight attendant since airlineswouldnt consider married women forthe job. Instead, she found work as asecretary in a bank and stayed withbanking until her retirement. Sadly, Coywas not there to share her retirement.He had died in 1989 after a long illnessfollowing a heart attack many yearsearlier. His illness meant Gregory hadbecome the familys sole breadwinner (bythen she and Coy had three children) andshe took a second job to make ends meet.

After retiring, Gregory moved to MyrtleBeach, South Carolina and became a self-

confessed beach bum. Loneliness andboredom gradually set in and, five yearslater, she was ready to move back into theworkforce. I dont know if youd call mehyper or not but I feel I must accomplishsomething every day. I really do. Pilotsat Mesa would later tease her about thecracking pace she set as they walkedthrough airports. Theyd say, Nana,wheres the fire? Theres no fire, Id say.I just have a theory that if youre going

somewhere, just go. Dont dilly-dallyaround. Thats my whole life really ifyoure going somewhere, just go.

At age 71, Evelyn Nana Gregorymade aviation history by becoming the oldest personever to be hired as a flight attendant. Achieving her childhood dream wasnt easy andbefore getting the job with Americas Mesa Airlines, she had to overcome many rejectionsand disappointments. She spoke with Marie-Louise Cook.

REACHING FOR THE SKIES AT 71



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Reaching For The Skies At 71

DeparturesCheck-out

And go from the beach she did, returningto her home in the small town ofDenver, North Carolina. In my soul I wassearching for what I was really meant todo with the rest of my life. Her friends,Peter and Terri Machtel, encouraged herto apply to be a flight attendant, knowinghow much she had once wanted the

job. Terri, a flight attendant, took her toEurope twice and introduced her to thecabin crew. Well, that just set me off.

That was when the dream really hit again.I was on fire I was ready to go.

She applied to be a flight attendant onher return to the United States but ittook more than a year before she wasfinally accepted by Mesa Airlines andsent to an intensive three-week trainingcourse at Ground School in Arizona.Being the oldest participant in the coursedidnt phase her one bit and she was

delighted when her younger classmatesbegan calling her Nana just like hergrandchildren did.

I really studied. I was determined I wasntgoing to have more problems than someof the young people did. The physicalaspects of the job opening and closingthe 400lb aircraft door, pushing heavycarts along the aisle, and stowing luggage were not a problem. I have always been

very active. It never occurred to me that Iwould need any more strength than whatI already had. The most challenging partof the course for Gregory, who suffersfrom a fear of heights, was the evacuationtechniques. We had to go out on thewing of the airplane and slide off it to theground. Its about a five foot drop. Shealso had to jump from the rear servicedoor to the ground. My instructor wasstanding below and she yelled, Come on

Nana, Im here. I said, Hmmm, let methink about this and at that momenta big mechanic walked around the planeand I said, I believe I want him standingbelow me which he did.

Gregory passed her exams, much tothe delight of her family, and quicklywon the hearts of passengers and crewalike. Within six months, shed won anEmployee of the Month award and within

one year had been asked to conducttraining at Ground School. It was on myresume that I had taught many bankingcourses for the American Institute ofBanking, so I was asked to teach at GroundSchool and I loved that.

She became like a beloved mother orgrandmother to all who met her. I canttell you how wonderful the crews andmy supervisors were with me. When I

was getting ready to finish my shift, mycaptains would come and give me a hug.I actually had passengers giving me hugsas well. One little man patted me on theback and said, Sure looks good to seesomebody here with grey hair.

Her secret weapons were of course herSouthern charm and voice, guaranteedto melt the frostiest of hearts. You hadto charm them. I treated everybody the

way I would in my own home. Im an oldSouthern girl. I love people.

She would still be flying and teachingtoday if not for a heart complaint thatforced her to take early retirement in July2005. Until then, shed only ever sufferedfrom tired feet, a condition that affectseven young flight attendants shes quick topoint out.

Retirement is no easier the second time,she tells me. I was just lost when I had toleave. I was so excited by it. I had so muchfun with the passengers and crews.

As you would expect from someone withsuch zest for life, Gregory is alreadylooking for her next mission. I have tostay busy. She has taken on some charitywork, is staying active in her church andhas been asked by a former passenger, a

university professor, to give a talk to hisstudents. A new career as a motivationalspeaker may beckon for Evelyn Gregory, awoman who has proved that you are nevertoo old to live your dream.

REACHING FOR THE SKIES AT 71



13

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When a business is doing badly, itis natural for managers to look at

the competition to see how they achievebetter results and to use the answers toimprove their companys performance.Similarly, Neuro Linguistic Programming(NLP) studies top performers in differentfields to determine how they achieveoutstanding results so that others cancopy their successful patterns of thinking

and behaviour to obtain consistently highresults themselves.

We get behind the acronym to explain what NLP is, how it worksand why it has become so widely used. By Marie-Louise Cook.

Joseph OConnor is co-founder andPresident of the International CoachingCommunity (ICC) with over 1,000 trainedcoaches in 34 countries. For moreinformation about the ICC, please visit:www.internationalcoachingcommunity.com Visit the co-founder of NLP RichardBandler at www.richardbandler.com.You can find David Molden atwww.quadrant1.com; Steve Andreasat www.steveandreas.com and CharlesFaulkner at www.nlpcomprehensive.com.

WHAT IS NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING?



What is

NeuroLinguistic Progra

14

FURTHER INFORMATION

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NLP studies brilliance and quality how outstanding individuals andorganisations get their outstandingresults, says leading international NLPtrainer, writer and consultant, JosephOConnor in NLP Workbook(Thorsons,2001). The methods can be taught toothers so they too can get the sameclass of results. This process is calledmodelling and to do it, NLP studies how

we structure our subjective experience how we think about our values andbeliefs and create our emotional states and how we structure our internal worldfrom our experience and give it meaning.No event has meaning in itself, we giveit meaning and different people may givethe same event different meanings. SoNLP studies experience from the inside.

Richard Bandler, a mathematician,psychotherapist and computerexpert, and the linguist John Grinder,created NLP in the early 1970s. Theybegan studying the methods of toptherapists (Dr Milton H. Erickson,Virginia Satirs, and Fritz Perls) withthe intention of identifying patternsof thoughts and behaviour that

others could follow to achieve similarresults. They taught their students thepatterns Satirs used during therapysessions, for example, and thestudents were then able to apply themto produce the same quality of resultseven though they did not have herexperience.NLP is an educational process, saidBandler in Using Your Brain - For A

Change (Real People Press, 1985).Basically were developing ways toteach people how to use their ownbrains. If your brain is sitting aroundwithout anything to do, its going tostart doing something and it doesntseem to care what it is. You may carebut it doesnt.

OConnor says what began as astudy of the best communicators

has since evolved into the systemicstudy of human communication.It has grown by adding practicaltools and methods generated bymodelling exceptional people.Although NLP was initially used tomodel excellence in therapists, itis now used widely in education,health, coaching, sports, and in manyareas of business including training,human resource development,

teambuilding, advertising, sales,marketing, networking, presentations,public speaking, customer relations,recruitment, and negotiation.However, NLP is more than just acollection of techniques. It is alsoa way of thinking, a frame of mindbased on curiosity, exploration andfun.

NLP is based on the belief that all

behaviours have a determinablestructure and that they can bemodelled. Those NLP models, whichinclude meta-model, sensory acuity,

Milton model, representationalsystems and sub modalities, providea set of tools for creating change inindividuals. The techniques, whichdeveloped from those models, allowfor rapid, effective change to limitingthoughts, behaviours and beliefs.

NLP is one of the most effective

how to technologies that exist inthe area of human communication,learning and change, wrote DavidMolden in his book, Managing withthe power of NLP(Pearson EducationLtd., 1996). Steve Andreas and CharlesFaulkner seemed to agree when theywrote in NLP The New TechnologyOf Achievement(Nicholas BrealeyPublishing, 2003), NLP is at thecutting edge of human development

because it teaches the fundamentalsof how your brain works. Theyexplained that by changing how youthink, you could transform what youthink. NLP helps you to modify yourthoughts and behavioural patterns tosuit your projected goals. It literallyre-programmes your mind andyour life for faster learning, betterrelationships and greater success.Regardless of the situation, NLP

shows you how you can do more, havemore and be more.

Dr. Harry Alder, who has worked withmajor companies to help staff reachtheir maximum potential, says NLPshows us how we can think better andthus achieve more. In his book, NLP the art and science of getting whatyou want(Piatkus, 1994), he says,NLP teaches us how to communicate,inwardly and outwardly, in a way thatcan make the difference betweenmediocrity and excellence.

NLP, according to Alder, providesa basis for describing andcommunicating thought processes,the building blocks of feelings,attitudes and beliefs, which in turncreate behaviour. It offers a structuredapproach to the part languageplays in thinking and interpersonalcommunication. And uniquely, itprovides a framework for copying ormodelling human excellence.

History of NLP

WHAT IS NEURO LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING?



mming?

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The mere mention of NLP is enough to send some coachesinto apoplectic rage. But others argue that NLP helps toenhance coaching. By Marie-Louise Cook.

Purists may get sniffy aboutthe advance of Neuro Linguistic

Programming (NLP) into coaching territorybut those who use it say its a welcomeevolution.

Leading international NLP trainer, writerand consultant, Joseph OConnor, says NLPcan be very useful in coaching.

Coaching has a broad methodology andis evolving into a distinct profession, hesays. Coaching makes sustained cognitive,emotional and behavioural changes thathelp clients get their goals and enhance

their performance in the areas they wish.NLP is a methodology of modelling topperformers that gives many insights intogood communication skills, so it is veryuseful in coaching. I think the best resultscome from using the insights of NLP inthe cognitive and linguistic fields to helpcoaches be very effective.

In particular, OConnor says NLP helpswith:

Rapport. - How to build a relationshipof mutual respect and trust withoutwhich coaching is unlikely to besuccessful.

Language skills In particular, howlanguage affects thinking and so, howto ask powerful questions.

Mental models - How the mentalmodels (beliefs in NLP terms) of theclient can limit their thinking and

actions Perspectives The key to creative

thinking is the ability to take differentperspectives and NLP helps clients todo that.

As Albert Einstein said, You cant solve aproblem with the same level of thinkingthat created it.

He doesnt believe using NLP crosses a

line and takes coaching into a counsellingarena. I dont think there is any linecrossing because they are different typesof model. NLP is not primarily therapeutic

although it can be used in therapy.Coaching has a broad methodology and isa profession. NLP is not a profession but amodelling of top performers to understandhow they think and act. NLP has also beendefined as the study of the structureof subjective experience. Coachinguses many different models, linguistic,behavioural and cognitive.

NLP and coaching share common rootsand some presuppositions: a positiveregard for the client, the importanceof relationship and rapport, and theimportance of understanding the clients

world in the way they see it with nojudgement.

NLP and coaching share other keycharacteristics too, according to IanMcDermott and Wendy Jago, co-authors ofThe NLP Coach(Piatkus, 2001). They areboth outcome focussed, customised to theneeds and aims of the client; and basedon the assumption the client has all theresources he or she needs.

They also both:

Work in a curiosity frame Help to break down larger, long-term

goals into small achievable steps Keep you to your own agenda Increase your awareness of whats

happening now Assume that change can be cumulative Assume everyone can engage in life-

long learning provided they want to Work with processes and structure not

content

One of the key elements of NLP is that it isbased on what works, they say.Its based on how people actually thinkand behave rather than theories about whythey do what they do. So, its groundedin reality, not speculation. And becauseof this, the tools that NLP offers us are

grounded in reality too; they are basedon what works, so they deliver whatworks. From the beginning, NLP involvedaction: action between people and action

The NLP Coach?

THE NLP COACH?



16

You cant solvea problem withthe same level

of thinking thatcreated it.

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Joseph OConnor is co-founder andPresident of the International CoachingCommunity (ICC) with over 1,000trained coaches in 34 countries. Formore information, please visit:www.internationalcoachingcommunity.com. For Wendy Jago or Ian McDermott,described as the Coaches Coach,contact ITS at www.itsnlp.com. Life

Coach, NLP Practitioner and ClinicalHypnotherapist Mary-Jane Hilton, MA(Oxon) can be contacted at Oxford LifeCoaching, Tel: 44 01789 294342.

within people. Coaching is the same: itsa process of joint engagement betweencoach and coachee, working togetherto achieve the coachees goals. NLP and

coaching both start from the belief thatyou can know what you want and that itis possible given the right way of goingabout it and the right resources for youto achieve it. And its the job of an NLPcoach to help you find the resources youneed and go about working towards yourgoals in a way that will give you the bestchance of achieving them.

The NLP coach

Mary-Jane Hilton of Oxford Life Coachingis a Master NLP Practitioner as well as atrained life coach and says she has usedNLP techniques with her coaching clientsfor so long that its become instinctive.Hilton, who trained as a life coach with theCoaching Academy six years ago and as anNLP practitioner 14 years ago, says I useNLP because its fast, effective and self-empowering for my clients.

She gives the example of a young salesconsultant who went for life coachingbecause she was constantly overlookedfor promotion. Using NLP, we discoveredthat she didnt really want the promotionbecause she wasnt actually enjoying salesand therefore wasnt giving the job 100%.Using coaching techniques, we found whatshe really wanted to spend her time doing.As a result, she enrolled in a nursing

course and I used NLP to help give her theconfidence she needed to make such a bigchange in her life.

It seems inevitable that NLP will becomemore widely used in coaching. Apartfrom a fear of the new, its difficult to seewhy any practitioner would object to theaddition of such powerful transformationaltechniques.

THE NLP COACH?



FURTHER INFORMATION

NLP and coaching sharecommon roots...

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Stephen

Shapiro

Success and happiness areunarguably our Holy Grails but the

standards taught to find them are allwrong. We have been brainwashed intobelieving that the only way to achievethis elusive combination of success andhappiness is through setting goals. Thisis simply not true.

In fact, goal setting is often the shortestroute to discontentment.

In a survey of 1,000 Americans Iconducted last year, 58% said that theyare consciously sacrificing todayshappiness in the belief that achievingtheir goals will bring fulfilment. Sadly,41% said that each goal achieved bringslittle, if any, satisfaction, despite all thehard work. So, what do they do? They setanother goal. This creates a perpetualcycle of sacrifice and disillusionment.

What is the solution?

Goal-Free Living was born out of mytravels during the summer of 2003 whenI met and interviewed 150 passionateindividuals to learn how they livedfulfilling happy lives. After interviewinghundreds of people and surveyingthousands, I discovered that the mostpassionate, creative, and sometimeswealthiest people live free from the

burden of traditional goals. Instead, theyhave mastered the rare skill of enjoyingnow rather than delaying gratificationuntil the future.

Goals are not inherently bad, butmany individuals have an unhealthyrelationship with their goals,distorting this potentially helpful toolinto a sure-fire recipe for failure. Why?Quite often, the goals we chase arenot our own. Of those I surveyed lastyear, 53% felt that they live their livesin ways that satisfy others more thanthemselves. Whose life are you living?Goals can cause you to lose yourperipheral vision. When you focuson your goals, you are cutting offpotentially greater opportunities fromemerging.

Goals set you up for failure, say 74%of those surveyed, conceding todisappointment and dissatisfactionwhen they are unsuccessful inachieving their goals. In fact,92% fail to achieve their NewYears resolutions. That is a lot ofdiscontentment.

Goal-Free Living is liberating. It opensnew possibilities typically hidden from

sight. We often associate goals withour career. While that is a big aspectof our lives, Goal-Free Living appliesto all areas of life, from dating tobusiness. Dating When you are on adate, dont worry about the next one.Instead, just enjoy the other personscompany ... for that moment. You willcome across as being more genuineand less desperate and, ironically,this increases your chances of getting

that second date. Holidays When ona holiday, instead of planning everyminute of every day, try venturing outinto an area not in your guidebook.You may discover some hidden gems.You will feel less hurried and morerelaxed. Isnt that what a holiday isall about? Meetings When you attenda business conference, stop focusingon what you will get out of it and howyou will use it. Rather, concentrateon just being there and soakingin as much as possible. Incredibleopportunities show up when youare unburdened and not blinded bymyopic goals.

When you are doing something, askyourself Why am I doing this? If youhave a reason - other than just to bethere - then you may have a goal.While it is quite acceptable to have

a particular interest in an outcome,dont let that specific focus becomeso dominant that it blinds you toother opportunities.

How does one embark on a more goal-free life? During my travels around theworld and after hundreds of interviews,I discovered eight secrets for living goal-free.

They are:

1.Use a compass, not a map.Have a sense of direction(not a specific destination), and thenmeander with purpose.

2.Trust that you are neverlost: every seemingly wrong

turn is an opportunity to learn andexperience new things.

3.Remember that opportunityknocks often but sometimessoftly. While blindly pursuing ourgoals, we often miss unexpected andwonderful possibilities.

4.Want what you have. Measureyour life by your own yardstickand appreciate who you are, what youdo, and what you have ... now.

5.Seek out adventure. Treatyour life like a one time-only journey, and revel in new anddifferent experiences.

6.Become a people magnet.

Constantly attract, build, andnurture relationships with new peopleso that you always have the supportand camaraderie of others.

7.Embrace your limits.Transform your inadequaciesand boundaries into unique qualitiesthat you can use to your advantage.

8.Remain detached. Focus

on the present, act with acommitment to the future, and avoidworrying about how things will turnout.

For each of these secrets, there are anumber of tips for implementing theconcept. Here are a few you can try today:

Set themes not resolutions. Rather

than set a resolution (i.e. a goal),choose one word to describe yournext year. Choose something that

Ever wondered why the goals youvesweated and struggled over dontalways bring you happiness? StephenShapiro, author of Goal-Free Living,says setting and pursuing goals isthe way to misery.

he Eight

ecrets Ofoal-Free Living

THE EIGHT SECRETS OF GOAL-FREE LIVING


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FURTHER INFORMATION

David

Wood

is bold and inspires you. Instead oflosing 10 pounds, you could choosehealth. Relationships, in thebroadest sense, may work better foryou than finding a boyfriend. Anyword will do: grace, adventure,serenity, or play.

Use could do lists rather than to dolists. To do lists tend to be draining,as they are the things you feel youmust do. Could do lists containthose things that you want to do thatinspire you. They keep possibility infront of you. Keep your list of could

do items large and your list of to doitems small.

Change your filter. One creative wayto seek out adventure is to makebelieve you are another person:an artist, a musician, or a doctor.It doesnt matter, as long as it issomeone other than you. When youlive your normal day standing in theshoes of someone else, you will seethings you have never seen before.

Appreciate the whole spectrum oflife. Create contrasts to help youappreciate where you are right now.Sleep in a tent and sleeping bagversus always staying in a five-starhotel. Volunteer for a charity. Takethe bus to work. Eat at a greasy spoondiner. Swap jobs with someone witha less glamorous assignment for aweek. Experience the whole spectrum

of life.

The origin of the word goal comes fromthe Old English word for obstacles ora hindrance. In order to achieve a goal,you must work hard to overcome thesebarriers and roadblocks. Conversely, theorigin of the word aspiration is the sameas the Latin word for spirit and inspirewhich mean, to breathe into or pantingwith desire. Barriers or inspiration: which

would you prefer?

Stephen Shapiro has inspired peoplein 27 countries with his speecheson creativity and innovation andis the author of Goal-Free Living:How to Have the Life You Want

NOW!Visit www.GoalFree.com andwww.24-7Innovation.com for moreinformation.

Have you ever felt unsure ofyourself as a coach? Scared

that you might not have an answerfor someone? Worried youll give thewrong advice? Concerned theyll thinkyoure a fraud?

The biggest difference I seem to makewith the new coaches I mentor is in the

area of confidence. Sure, I help themwith designing their unique coachingsession, marketing and business set-upbut their main block is often a lack ofconfidence.

What if you have right now muchmore to offer a client than you think?What if you could make a big differenceto someones life right now? Whatif you could go out and get 10 new

clients after reading the information inthis article? In my CoachStartManual, Idetail seven insights that will help youobtain confidence. Right now, Id like toshare the first four insights with you.

Here are some valuable things that youcan offer a client immediately:

1. The way you listenMost people listen in thewaiting for my turn to speak modeor they are busy noticing whetherwhat they are hearing is boring orentertaining. But the coach listens withundivided attention. A coach listensand thinks, Is this moving forward?Does this sound like what they reallywant? Are there actionable steps totake? Simply by both of you comingtogether to look for ways your clientcan progress, you are giving your clientsomething he or she doesnt normallyget from a conversation.

2. Being there each weekIts amazing how mucha person will do because there issomeone to hold them accountable.They know next week you are going toask them, Did you do it? Just by being

there, you are helping them to discoverwhat is important in their life. Its likehaving a running partner. Without yourpartner there, you might not go veryfar or even bother to get out of bed togo for a run. With your partner, yourattention is focussed on the runningand you will run further, faster and withmore excitement.

3.A sounding board

Being able to talk abouttheir issues lends clarity to yourclients. Just discussing what has beenclanging around their heads all weekis valuable. Have you ever tried tosolve a problem and got nowhere untilyou had a chance to talk about it withsomeone? You are giving your clientsan opportunity to do that every week.

4.A second head

You may be able to see whatthey are doing in a new light. You mayhave a different perspective allowingyou to see their blind spots. Somethings may be obvious to you but donteven occur to them. You might havedifferent ideas.

These are just a few of your amazingqualities. You can make a differenceto the people around you and the best

thing you can do right now is to believethis yourself.

David Wood is a certified life coach.He helps coaches, consultants,speakers and trainers to buildtheir businesses via his e-book atwww.10SuperCoaches.com andhis audio e-book at www.FirstFiftyClients.com. Visit his website,www.solutionbox.com.

Four Steps to Condent CoachingYou have the qualifications to be a coach so what makes youso hesitant? Coaching mentor, David Woodbelieves it all comesdown to confidence.

FOUR STEPS TO CONFIDENT COACHING


FURTHER INFORMATION

EXECUTIVE COACHING20


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The challenge for organisationsto implement coaching

successfully is evident. While it isclearly perceived and acknowledged asa tremendous source of competitiveadvantage, it is a very young disciplineand there is an obvious lack of practical,reliable guidance on how to implement

it in the best way.

Plenty of fragmented and dispersedtheories and models about coachingmay have emerged but most oftenthey simply deal with coaching and donot address the core question of whatsteps and procedures organisationsneed to establish to produce thebest results. Moreover, most of thesemodels are highly subjective, they arenot comprehensive, not backed up byresearch findings or put into contextwith other models and findings. As aresult, Human Resource (HR) managershave very little dependable literature toconsult or rely on.

From the managerial point of view, thelack of implementation tools, as well asthe fact that the findings that do existare highly fragmented and difficult tograsp represents a serious obstacle

to efforts to implement coachingsuccessfully.

In many cases, coaching is stillapproached in a very unsystematicway and much better results couldbe achieved if more practicalimplementation tools wereavailable. In particular, the need fora comprehensive implementationframework for management action hasbecome increasingly evident.

The coaching research project 2005,supported by the East London BusinessSchool and many other organisations,now provides this much needed

10 Key Factors That

Guarantee Success

framework on the basis of a veryextensive evaluation and integrationof nearly 150 relevant literaturesources and of its own leading-edgeprimary research activities (worldwidecoaching survey 2005, a transatlanticcoaching pilot project, and a series of12 interviews with top coaches and

coaching managers). The core essence,the 10 key success factors for theimplementation of coaching, are amust know for everybody involved incoaching programmes in business.

The 10 Key Factors

1.Organisation defined coachingAs coaching may mean verydifferent things to different people, it

is necessary to make a clear decisionabout what the organisation specificallyunderstands coaching to be to ensurethat organisational goals are met at anytime. The process of defining coachingis a vital part of the implementationdecision process itself and requiresthorough reflection right from thebeginning.

2.Systematic approachPlanning coaching programmesis vital. Excellent HR managers start bydeveloping a systematic, comprehensivecoaching concept, covering the variousstages of the programme such aspreparation, introduction, enlargement,maintenance and evaluation. The goals,objectives and responsibilities areclearly set as are the rules governingthe different coaching measures. Thelinks between the programme andother activities in the organisation arewell established and the programmeis embedded in the overall strategy.Furthermore, the coaching concept isboth rigorous and flexible.

The most comprehensive survey of coaching in business everconducted, the coaching research project 2005, will help both

managers and coaches, says Frank BresserMBA (London), theauthor of the leading edge report. He explains how.


10 KEY FACTORS THAT GUARANTEE SUCCESS

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FURTHER INFORMATION

3.Choice of implementationDifferent levels of implementationand penetration of coaching are dependenton the desired coaching benefits and howreceptive an organisation is to coaching.When they are deliberately chosen to achievethe most appropriate degree of penetrationthe coaching measures taken are much more

likely to achieve the desired outcomes.

Possible designs for coaching programmesrange from the simple contracting of oneexternal coach to creating a completecoaching culture and leadership style ina global company. HR managers are onlyable to make use of and choose from thisfull range of levels effectively if they havesufficient coaching literature to completelyunderstand the differences and to consider

the pros and cons properly. This knowledgeis frequently missing in organisations.

4.Involvement of the topIt is critical to get the support of topmanagement for any coaching programme.This ensures the necessary organisationalsupport, resources and strategic consistencythroughout the organisation. Where supportfor a coaching programme is lacking, theinitiative is unlikely to be widespread orsustainable.

It is also highly recommended that theimplementation of any coaching programmestart at the top with the top managers actingas role models and living demonstrationsof the coaching idea. A top-down approachgives the coaching programme highcredibility from the start and creates apositive learning atmosphere that is ideal tomake coaching thrive in the organisation.

5.Marketing coaching as positiveIt is vital that coaching is approached,

branded and marketed as a resource-oriented, positive developmental servicerather than as a remedial tool. Thisensures all participants have the necessarycommitment and willingness to makecoaching produce the best results. Theywill also fully appreciate the service fromthe outset and, in many instances, perceiveand experience coaching as some kind ofincentive. Any impression that a coaching

programme is remedial or only for poorperformers can put the entire coachinginitiative at risk.

6.Win-win situations for allFor a coaching programme to thrive,it is important to create a situation inwhich all parties involved may benefit fromcoaching. Successful coaching initiatives arebased on mutual respect and trust, goodworking relationships and a collaborativeapproach in which the various stakeholders

regard each other as partners rather thanadversaries. Creating win-win situationstherefore demands the commitment of allparties to work together.

Accordingly, coaching concepts should bedesigned in such a way that they meet theinterests of and bring about benefits for allstakeholders.

7.

Full strategic consistency

Achieving the alignment of coachingmeasures with the corporate, business andfunctional strategies of an organisation isvital. Coaching programmes need to tiein with the other business activities andsupport the overall organisational strategy inorder to add value and sustain.

Coaching initiatives that contradict businessstrategy will most likely be rejected by theorganisation in some way. To be able toimplement new strategies, the support of

the top management becomes crucial.

8.Complete transparencyWhen everybody within theorganisation has a precise idea of and aclear picture about the procedures andthere are steps in place and a rationalebehind these, coaching measures becometrustworthy, well-understood and attractiveto people.

Coaching should therefore never be kept asecret in any way by HR management butmade fully open and inviting.

9.Effective and careful evaluationAdequate evaluation is essential totrack the outcomes achieved by coachingand to optimise the coaching programmeon a continuous basis. By the demonstrationof the benefits of coaching measures,their credibility and acceptance in theorganisation are best ensured. At the same

time, evaluation needs to be done carefullyto ensure that there is a balance betweenevaluation and confidentiality.

The evaluation of coaching measures maytherefore take very different forms andwill depend greatly upon the nature ofthe coaching programme and the goalsenvisaged by the organisation that willfinally be preferable (for example, qualitativequestionnaire or quantitive return oninvestment or ROI calculation). Tailoring

an appropriate evaluation strategy inaccordance with the circumstances of eachcase is most likely to bring about the mostuseful and adequate insights.

10.Integrity and qualityCoaching programmes have a verygood chance of succeeding and achievingthe desired acceptance if it is madeabsolutely clear from the outset that highstandards of integrity and quality apply and

will be observed without exception.

The implementation of coaching is anongoing learning process that requiresconstant review and optimisation on apermanent basis. Excellent HR managersare fully aware of the need to keepworking steadily on coaching programmes,to encourage open discussions aboutimplementation issues in the organisation,to support continuous professionaldevelopment of all parties involved, and to

seek the exchange of ideas and experienceswith colleagues from other organisationsas an invaluable additional source ofinspiration.

It is through this kind of long-termcommitment to continuous learningthat the key capability of well-foundedimplementation intelligence, which isnecessary to produce outstanding resultsfrom coaching programmes, can develop.

International corporate coach FrankBresser is the author of coachingliterature, head of the coachingresearch project 2005, organiser ofcoaching programmes and traineron coaching and the use of coachingin organisations. Visit his website:www.frank-bresser.com.

A longer version of this article was first published in: Bresser, F.(2005 and 2006) Best implementation of coaching in business,Coach the Coach, Fenman Ltd. Issues 20 and 21, Section CoachingToday, Dec 05 and Jan 06.


10 KEY FACTORS THAT GUARANTEE SUCCESS

The implementation of coaching is an ongoing learningprocess that requires constant review and optimisation...

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Why you should NeverHow do you convince prospectiveclients they need your coachingservices? Steve Mitten, MasterCoach, business strategist andauthor of Marketing Essentials forCoaches, explains the best way ofattracting clients.

Few people will buy an expensiveproduct theyve never tried and know

very little about which is why it is nearly

impossible to sell coaching. So what canyou do to attract clients?

For someone to buy your coaching servicethey need to know what it is and how itcan help them. They must perceive yourservice to be a solution to one of theirexisting problems. They need to know andtrust you and have a very good sense thatyou are competent and fairly priced. Whilevery few people are actually looking for

a coach or have reached the conclusionthat a coach is the answer to any of theirexisting problems, they will all have dreamsor challenges or want to make changes intheir lives. Your job is to find the easiestway to have all of these people seeingyou as a means of achieving their dreams,overcoming their challenges and effectinggreat changes. If you can do that, you willhave all the clients you will ever need.

To accomplish this you need to use

the most powerful and well-establishedprinciple of building a coaching practice:Give to Get. The best way to build upyour client base is to simply give awaygreat experiences of coaching to qualifiedprospects from the 5% of the populationthat has the inclination to change and theincome to afford one-on-one coaching.

Work with a prospect on dreams,challenges, or the changes he or she isexperiencing and that prospect will beginto see coaching as a powerful way toconnect with and realise the results he orshe most wants. If you do this with qualifiedprospects you will get lots of clients. If you

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SELL COACHING


Steve

Mitten

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Sell Coaching

Steve Mitten is a Master CertifiedCoach, Business Strategist and theformer President of the International

Coach Federation. For furtherinformation about Marketing Essentialsfor Coaches (revised 2006), visitwww.acoach4u.com.

contact six qualified prospects (qualified byage, inclination and income) with an offerof coaching, at least three will agree to asample coaching session. And if you givethree qualified prospects a great samplecoaching session, at least one will becomeyour client.

Understanding the prospects mind

To convert a potential client into a payingcustomer your coaching needs to overcomeany of the doubts and fears your clientmay have. You want them to experiencethe feelings associated with the betterfuture they imagine is possible by workingwith you. Your job is to help them identifyand experience (at an emotional level) thefeelings of those future benefits. If you canhelp a qualified prospect feel their deepest

desires and address any legitimate concernsthey might have, you will have a client.

How to give a great sample session

In the early stages of your coachingbusiness, your ability to deliver a greatsample session is a critical factor inbuilding a successful coaching practice.

Since most prospects have never workedwith a coach, dont understand coaching,

and probably arent even looking for acoach, a sample session is often your bestway of introducing them to the process,giving them experience of the benefits,allowing them to see the potential payoff,and thus moving them to a place wherethey would want to work with you.

After years of experimentation, I havecreated a plan with some of the keycomponents that will help you deliver

powerful sample sessions. Remember,coaching is most powerful when it is fluid,natural, and unscripted so dont try toimpose these steps in a mechanical way.

1) Coach important mattersSometimes when you engage a prospectin a sample session and ask them whatthey want to work on they will reply withsomething superficial. They might say, Ineed to organise my garage. Respond byaffirming you both could certainly spend

time on that then inquire if they might havesomething a little more important - perhapsa dream, challenge, or change they wantto make - for which they would like some

coaching. If you can help them make abreakthrough on a dream or a big challengethey are facing, the prospect will more fullyappreciate the value of coaching.

2) Lead into the futureLets say a person wants coaching on abig goal or dream. Ask, If you are reallysuccessful with this, where will you be inXYZ months? You want them to create andexperience a very clear and compellingvision of the most successful outcome.

3) Find the meaningOnce a prospect has described wherethey would be if the coaching was hugelysuccessful, explore the meaning of thatgoal. What is important about this goal toyou? or What will achieving this goal giveyou? By doing this, you will be moving

them out of their thoughts about the goal- which have a short shelf life - into themore powerful realm of the meaning andemotions associated with the goal.

4) Explore the emotionsOnce you have a prospect in touch withhis or her most desired outcome, continueto explore the emotional payoff. Whatwill you be feeling when you know yourdream has come true? Ideally, you want theprospect to see, touch, taste or otherwise

embody the emotional reward. Again youare building the prospects emotionalconnection to the goal; this emotion willfuel the actions needed to overcome allthe obstacles in the way. Naturally, therewill be situations - perhaps a businessclient who is not comfortable in discussingemotions with you yet - where you mightwisely choose not to explore the emotionsassociated with a goal.

5) Coach the person tooRemember the most powerful work youwill do is in coaching the prospect, notthe situation. So dont forget to explorewho the prospect wants to be and thequalities they need to bring forth to achievethe desired outcome. If the prospectwants to get into a leadership position intheir career, for example, explore whatleadership qualities they need to bring outor develop to become the best possibleleader. And wherever possible, coach the

prospect to a place where they feel andphysically embody these qualities. If you getyour prospects to this place, nothing willstop them.

6) Find the payoffFind out what it would be worth toyour prospect if they were successful inachieving their desired outcome. So if youdo find a job you love (double your sales,lower your stress, improve your health etc)what would it be worth to you? The answerto this question may or may not be financialbut as long as the prospect connects withor reflects on the value or importance ofthe changes they might make throughcoaching, they will be far less likely tobegrudge paying for your services.

7) Return to now. Take actionOnce the prospect has seen andexperienced the outcome they want andexperienced the associated meaning andemotions, bring them back to the presentand wrap-up the sample session by

asking: So what is the next - or first - stepforward? Coach the person to identifyone tangible first step and set up someaccountability, so the step gets taken.

8) Ask for the businessOnce you have taken a prospect througha powerful sample session, the two of youwill have a sense of whether there is a fit.From your side, you simply need to confirmyou would like to work with this prospect(and that they can afford to hire you). You

can say, in your own words, with integrityand authenticity, That is a powerful visionyou have for your future. If you are seriousabout realizing it, I would love to be yourcoach. Or, I really enjoyed coaching you.If you want some support in reaching yourdream, I would love to be your coach.

Find a way to point out that knowledgeand intention alone does not translate intochanging behaviour. Otherwise everyonewould keep their New Years Resolutions.The format of coaching allows the focus,accountability and growth necessary tomake changes happen and stick. If youcan get this point across, you will get yourshare of enthusiastic clients.

FURTHER INFORMATION

WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER SELL COACHING



24/24

My DayI wake up early, usually before six

thirty. I love the quiet softness ofnew mornings and sip my way slowlythrough two very large mugs of tea beforethe rest of my world wakes up and wantsto play. Mornings are a reflective timefor me to write, journal or just sit quietlycontemplating.

Im 48, divorced and live with my 13-year-old daughter in Blockley, a quintessentialCotswolds village. We moved here two

years ago after a brief period in London.We were looking at secondary schools formy daughter and moving out of Londongave us a better choice of schools.

It was on my return to England four yearsago from the US that I first explored self-employment. Id always loved my careerbut after 20 years providing training andmentoring to support the vision and goalsof organisations in Europe, South Africaand the United States, I was ready toexplore what supporting and living my ownvision would be like. So, I looked at myskill set on my CV, extracted my favouritesand simply set up doing the work I haddone for so long but this time, for myself,on my own terms.

I looked for a course to help me workthrough the various issues that surface fora woman considering self-employment. Avariety of weighty priorities need balancingsuch as children and home life. I sorelyneeded a structure and guidance to thinkthose through but all I could find werecourses on financial and marketing issuesrun by organisations like Business Linkand various Enterprise Agencies. I realisedthere was nothing for someone like me,and it was out of this research that myniche has developed.

I designed a course that is exactly what I

would have wanted when I was starting outon my own. It has grown into a successful

programme that I now run here in the

Cotswolds and also in London. At thispoint, Im cutting back on work I do inLondon. Ive spent so much time on theM40 I know every inch of it. Id like tobe getting to know my more local (andbeautiful!) surrounds as thoroughly. Aswith all things, its a balance and Imalmost there.

My ideal week is two days of coaching, twoof training and one day for administration

each week. It doesnt always work thatway, but its fantastic when it does. Thecombination of group work and individualcoaching is something I thrive on.

The days I am based in the Cotswolds,from 7.15am to 8.10am is a scene that anyof you getting children off to school willbe familiar with! Once my daughter, herbackpack, saxophone and sports kit vanishout the door, I take our little dog for a walkin the hills around the village for at leasthalf an hour. When I am walking, Im ableto think my way through important issueswithout getting stuck. The act of walkingseems to correspond with some internalmovement and I have always said I canwalk my way through anything.

Then its home to my desk which iscurrently in my lovely large kitchen. I amso grateful I have been able to pull off self-employment. My respect and admirationfor my clients comes out of my ownexperience of knowing just what it takes todefine success on your own terms and toremain true to your own vision.

I do 50-minute sessions with my telephoneclients. I find it take three months to reallymake and sustain changes so alwayssuggest that clients sign up for a minimumof three months. We schedule sessionsat the same time each week and clients

pay for four sessions in advance. I find amaximum of five telephone clients a day is

what works for me.

I do two types of face-to-face coaching.One involves weekly sessions over severalmonths and the other, called The SymbolsWay, is a one-off intensive session thattakes two-and-a-half hours. It worksreally well for anyone on the threshold ofchange.

Some part of each week I spend planningfuture work. As a self-employed person

its essential to be proactive about wherework is going to come from. Im asked todo quite a lot of speaking at events. Itsa great way to get to know people andkeep expanding my own understandingof what people want from a coach. Ispeak on a range of topics that includetime management, the role of vision andpassion at work, networking and work/lifebalance. These days I am paid to speak,but when I first started out, I took onspeaking engagements simply to have theopportunity to show people who I was andwhat I had to offer them.

My evenings are generally spent at homewith my daughter. All that I have lovedabout the different stages of my lifein all the different parts of the worldwhere I have lived and worked is presentnow, even if just in essence, in my dailyexperience of waking up enveloped in thebeauty and softness of the Cotswold Hills.Its a wonderful life, and Im grateful to l iveit every day.

You can contact Sarah-Jane Menato,Personal and Professional Coach andTraining Consultant, [email protected],www.insideout-training.co.ukor telephone: 07795 482 395 or

01386 701 868.

Sarah-Jane Menato is more passionate than ever about her work,even after 25 years as a professional coach and training consultant.


Never Sell Coaching

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