My history ccciwithdan - Eliezer Sobel · “Downtown,” Petula Clark’s musical hit of the...
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WILD JOURNAL heart 8 dan hen you’re alone and life is making you lonely You can always go, downtown… Just listen to the rhythm of the traffic in the city Linger on the sidewalks, the neon lights so pretty... How can you lose? “Downtown,” Petula Clark’s musical hit of the 1960’s, was played in my honor by the host of a New Year’s Party. The host knew that I was probably the only boy, now or since, to sing that song for “Show and Tell” in kindergarten, in front of all my classmates. Privately, I danced to it, playing my Aunt Kathy’s 45rpm recording over and over again, the first song I remember dancing to. I call this part of my history with dance the “Petula” phase, during which I was free to express myself and did so. How wonderful and exciting to be singing and dancing to “Downtown” in Mountain City, Tennessee! The next period I term the “coolot” phase. Do you know what coolots are? They are baggy, dress- like shorts. The coolot phase—about third grade—was a time in my life when my Presbyterian parents joined a Southern Baptist church, which then rebaptized me, since, according to them, my infant baptism was not valid. Those Baptists also believed that women should not wear clothing that was at all similar to what men wore. So the answer for gracious, athletic southern women—like my mother—was to wear coolots. Coolots for the women of the church softball team. It made them distinct. I remember as a young boy, being awed by the blatant Catholic women who wore PANTS (of all things) while playing softball. They were the arch rivals, those, those PANT women! During my coolot phase I also received the message that dancing was wrong, which didn’t make sense, given that there were home movies of my parents doing the Watusi and Limbo. Too much fun. One of the most shameful episodes of my life was when I was in the fourth grade and dancing ( privately, I thought) to the Archies hit tune, “Sugar, Sugar.” Spinning around I suddenly faced my Aunt Nancy who was watching with pride. However, I was embarrassed. The little caught boy said, “I’m sorry. Don’t tell them I was dancing.” The coolot phase was when I internalized the rule and subsequent shame for a natural expression. The next phase in my history of dance was the ecclesiastical one. Let’s just call it the “church” phase. In my position as minister one Sunday morning in 1996, I preached on the Old Testament story of David dancing as the Ark of the Covenant was brought back to Jerusalem. While reading the story from the Bible, stand- ing behind the pulpit in my black robe—I My history ccci with by James Morley 8 W
Transcript of My history ccciwithdan - Eliezer Sobel · “Downtown,” Petula Clark’s musical hit of the...
WILD JOURNAL heart8
danhen you’re alone and life is making you lonelyYou can always go, downtown…Just listen to the rhythm of the traffic in the city
Linger on the sidewalks, the neon lights so pretty...How can you lose?
“Downtown,” Petula Clark’s musical hit of the 1960’s, was played inmy honor by the host of a New Year’s Party. The host knew that I wasprobably the only boy, now or since, to sing that song for “Show and Tell” in kindergarten, in front ofall my classmates. Privately, I danced to it, playing my Aunt Kathy’s 45rpm recording over and overagain, the first song I remember dancing to. I call this part of my history with dance the “Petula” phase,during which I was free to express myself and did so. How wonderful and exciting to be singing anddancing to “Downtown” in Mountain City, Tennessee!
The next period I term the “coolot” phase. Do you know what coolots are? They are baggy, dress-like shorts. The coolot phase—about third grade—was a time in my life when my Presbyterian parentsjoined a Southern Baptist church, which then rebaptized me, since, according to them, my infant
baptism was not valid. Those Baptists also believed that women should not wear clothing that was atall similar to what men wore. So the answer for gracious, athletic southern women—like my
mother—was to wear coolots. Coolots for the women of the church softball team. It madethem distinct. I remember as a young boy, being awed by the blatant Catholic women whowore PANTS (of all things) while playing softball. They were the arch rivals, those, thosePANT women!
During my coolot phase I also received the message that dancing was wrong, which didn’tmake sense, given that there were home movies of my parents doing the Watusi and Limbo.
Too much fun. One of the most shameful episodes of my life was when I was in thefourth grade and dancing ( privately, I thought) to the Archies hit tune, “Sugar, Sugar.”
Spinning around I suddenly faced my Aunt Nancy who was watching with pride.However, I was embarrassed. The little caught boy said, “I’m sorry. Don’t tell
them I was dancing.” The coolot phase was when I internalized the rule andsubsequent shame for a natural expression.
The next phase in my history of dance was the ecclesiasticalone. Let’s just call it the “church” phase. In my position as
minister one Sunday morning in 1996, I preached onthe Old Testament story of David dancing as the Ark
of the Covenant was brought back to Jerusalem.While reading the story from the Bible, stand-
ing behind the pulpit in my black robe—I
My history
ccciwith
by James Morley
8
W
WILD JOURNAL heart 9
ncemust have moved (danced) just a little too noticably. A month later,in a church business meeting, a Presbyterian elder who happened tobe a woman of my age then (mid-thirties) said, with eyes squinting anda condemning, sarcastic tone, “I saw you when you read the story ofDavid dancing...you were, you were sexy in the pulpit!” I knew at thatmeeting my time in that church was limited. I could not move there. Liter-ally or figuratively. The joy of the movement and story was soured. At the timeof the accusation, I was too shocked to understand the compliment not intendedby that woman. As a gay minister, today I relish and understand it.
I am 40 years old. I have been out to myself and loved ones for three years now.In my fourth year of living as a gay man, my connection to dance is central and apoint of pleasure. I am fortunate to have friends who love me and try to set me upwith the most interesting and healthy men. A favorite activity is to invite these mento our local club and dance with them. I’ll never forget one date who had never dancedwith a man before. How honored I was to be his first dance partner and to later witnesshis crooked smile explode with gorgeous teeth as we moved together on the dancef loor. Later that evening, we walked to the Rotunda and Lawn, the center of the Uni-versity of Virginia grounds, and waltzed under the winter moonlit sky. Historically, theLawn could be considered the center of the Virginia universe. So for me, dance has comefull circle, surviving periods of shame to once again being an expression of joy. I call it the“universal” phase. How happy I am that what was once considered shameful is at thecenter of my universe. As Petula sang,
Just listen to the rhythm of the gentle bossa nova. You’ll be dancing with them too, before the night isover (ovah). Happy Again.
James Morley is a chaplain at West Virginia University Hospital in Morgantown, W.V.
Lama Foundation
July 27-30 Yoga intensive with Tias Little
Aug 3-6 Archetype Design with Vishu McGee
Aug 10-13 Tuning of the Heart w/Bilal Hyde, Allaudin Ottinger & Asha Greer
Aug 13 Visitors’ Day
Aug 17-20 Gurdjieff Movements with James Tomarelli
Sept 1-4 Gay & Lesbian Spirituality Renewal
Sept 4-16 Vajra Yogini Retreat & Pilgrimage
Sept 17 Closing Visitors’ Day
Lama Foundation
PO Box 240
San Cristobal,
NM 87564
(505) 586-1269
www.lamafoundation.org
Availablethis November:
22" x 30" silkscreen printsof original artworkfrom Be Here Now,pages 1, 7, 12 & 77.
2000 Calendar of Events and Programs
