Raffle for Traveling to the Kinus HaShluchos!As we approach the Kinus HaShluchos on 22 Shevat,

30 years to the Hilula of Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka a"h,there will be a raffle among the Shluchos–mothers of "Yaldei Shluchei HaRebbe"

Details to follow via email

Perhaps they don’t know exactly what to say or how to say it, and they’re likely to not comprehend how their comments sound from the listener’s side. Un l Yosef Yitzchak was born, I was also uncomfortable, and I too had no idea how to conduct myself around people with disabili es. And, to admit, many a me I s ll don’t know what is the right thing to say or do.

I understand that, together with my wonderful child, I received a “shlichus”, a mission, to educate those around me, and help them to feel comfortable with individuals who are different than them. (Especially in the area where I live, which has many old s gmas and archaic views – even more widespread than in the world in general).

But my ques on is: Will the fact that people have a “list” of what to say and what not to say – will that assist them to be more comfortable? Is our goal to cause others to stay around parents like us, as if on eggshells, worried whether they’ll say the right thing or not? Won’t it help more, if we, on our end, give over an approach of: “Ask me whatever you want on my child with special needs. I’ll be happy to share with you.” -?-

True, we as parents are inclined to be sensi ve. It’s not always pleasant for us to absorb that our child causes another individual to feel uncomfortable, or that someone feels thankful that he/she doesn’t have such a child. At mes, even expressions which are not even directed at us – can cause pain; for example, when a parent relates his kid’s accomplishments, which are so distant from what we have from ours.

S ll, I believe that the goal for us, as parents, is to understand that the pain comes from our emo ons, and it doesn’t mean that the other person is uncaring or destruc ve.

In my opinion, the more we’ll be ready to openly accept comments or inquiries from others, and the more we’ll respond to them honestly yet with addi onal pleasantness – the more they will be easier at accep ng us and our children.

The way our calendar works, it’s impossible for Asarah B’Teves to ever fall out on Shabbos. Halacha dictates that, theore cally, were it to fall on Shabbos – we would indeed fast on Shabbos. This teaches, that, in several aspects, Asarah B’Teves is even a more stringent fast than Tisha B’Av.

The reason being, because Asarah B’Teves is the first, ini al stage of golus. It’s the day when Yidden lost their autonomous control of the walls surrounding the Ir hakodesh, Yerushalayim; the day when it was decided who’s allowed to enter and who to leave – it was no longer in our hands. The beginning of a process which tragically led downward ll it ended with the Churban.

We, too, build “walls” around ourselves. The walls and barriers are important, as they serve to protect us and our emo onal points.

Nonetheless, we need to remember the difference between strengthening our “walls” and placing ourselves into a “siege”. True, we need to protect ourselves. But the walls of the city s ll have gates. Although it may make us feel exposed, we need to learn to open our “gates” and let others enter our lives. To give them a “tour”, to show them the nice elements, alongside the less-pleasant ones. There’s a chance that they will even help us develop and improve that which needs improvement.

A city which finds itself in a siege, will inevitably come to be destructed. But a city with a supervised entrance – will yet flourish and be built anew.

Yaldei Shluchei HaRebbe-Merkos 302Tel: 646-558-5800 • www.Yaldei.com

"ילדי שלוחי הרבי" סניף ארץ הקודש, מחלקה של "מרכז 302"dinawolff@yaldei.com :דינה וולף, טלפון: 972-54-211-7770+ מייל

My GeneralsB”H. Issue 9, Teves 5778.BH

Yaldei Shluchei HaRebbeSPECIAL NEEDS ORGANIZATION

Dear Parents, Dear Shluchim,

Shalom U’vracha!

We just finished the holiday of Chanukah, when we kindle the lights of the menorah and spread the ohr, specifically a er “the sun sets”.

Yes, it’s ge ng dark around us; and the atmosphere becomes unpleasant – yet, our purpose is not to be frightened from darkness. To the contrary! We need to increase in light, to illuminate for us and for others.

Our personal lives, as well, can at mes become darkened. The light which we’d always had, the “sun”, as it were, has suddenly set. In the natural way of things, when the sun sets, people gather, everyone in their respec ve places, afraid to venture outdoors. And if they are “forced” to leave to the darkened “reshus ho’rabim” – they just wander about confusedly and do not find the path.

Our purpose is not to be deterred from the darkness, but – on the contrary – to illuminate and con nuously add in light from one day to the next.

Indeed, also a me like the month of Teves, one that commemorates the beginning of the Churban haBayis; a month when the golus-darkness began, one which we s ll find ourselves in today, almost 2,000 years later – we begin it with the light of Chanukah, and in recent years with the auspicious yom haBahir of Hei Teves. And this year, we even got a “reminder” that miracles can happen in a mere moment, a transforma on from golus to geulah, with the sudden and miraculous release of R’ Sholom Rubashkin at the beginning of the month.

May we only have light in our homes and may our commitment to Shlichus bring the ul mate light and end this dark and bi er golus.

Have a warm winter,

Sholly Weiser

Director

אלומת אור

מתורתו של כ"ק אדמו"ר נשיא דורנו

.. כל אלו אשר מאיזו סיבה שתהיה לא נתנו עדיין לצדקה בצירוף שמם ושם אמם – יזדרזו לתת סכום מסוים

לצדקה .. ולצרף שמם ושם אמם, בהקדם הכי אפשרי, לפני הנסיעה מחר בלי נדר ל'ציון' כ"ק מו"ח אדמו"ר, על מנת להזכירם עה"צ.

...ולהוסיף שמכיון שלא תהיה אפשרות לקרוא את כל הפתקאות, כי אם להניחם ולמוסרם על הציון – יכול כאו"א לכתוב כל מה שרוצה (ללא כל בושה), שהרי זה באופן שכותב להקב"ה ע"י נשיא דורנו.

(משיחת ו' טבת תשמ"ז)

This month, we all celebrate the auspicious date of Hei Teves when there was a “Didan Notzach”.

I wish to focus on this day; let’s think together in a thought or two from the substance of the day, and – mainly – to a empt to see what is the message of this date for us, as parents of a son or daughter with special needs.

When we speak of Hei Teves 5747 as a day when the victory in the “Seforim Case” took place, it is correct – but only in part. Although there was a great victory then, there s ll came later an appeal against the ruling, which resulted in that the seforim were not returned to their proper home. And yet, even a er that appeal was dismissed, and the seforim returned a year later – on 2 Kislev 5748 – a bi er court ba le s ll progressed.

We mark “Didan Notzach” not only on Hei Teves, but, as an outcome of the various appeals and issues – there also are addi onal dates on the calendar which had victories of various types, un l the final decision and conclusion to it all. Hei Teves is the most recognized one, but some extent of “Didan Notzach” preceded it about a year earlier, on 13 Kislev 5746.

Next on the calendar, we commemorate the 25th of Cheshvan 5748 – when the appeal was rejected. And a week later – that year – was when the seforim were returned, on the 2nd of Kislev. And then began a hearing against the Rebbe himself, personally - the “Didan Notzach” thereof was decided on 26 Tishrei 5750. Then, on 19 Teves 5750, the en re case against the Rebbe was dismissed and it was an even deeper and more significant “Didan Notzach”, and on 28 Elul 5750, the last bunch of the seforim were returned to the library.

What I am a emp ng to learn from all this for us, is this: Although on Hei Teves, the “last word” was not yet said – and there were not-so-simple struggles that followed, some actually quite difficult and painful – but yet, this was the day which became set as the “Didan Notzach”, because we then won a victory of substance.

Also in our lives, with the children, we have small “victories”, victories that don’t bring with them the final decision. Tomorrow will have with it a new ba le, a new difficulty – but we s ll need to give place to every victory big or small, to rejoice and thank Hashem for each and every victory, whether it be small in measure, or whether

it be great and momentous.

The phrase “Didan Notzach” is incorporated of two words. In general., we put the emphasis on “Notzach”, on the victory, that which is decisive, which is crucial. But it is also important to focus on the first word as well – “Didan”. It is ours.

In our life, “Didan”, every victory is “ours”, it advances us, and our son or daughter, one step ahead. Perhaps it may be a single, and small, step, but it is “Didan - Notzach”. We should give proper a en on to each type of victory.

And, B’ezras Hashem, just as in the Seforim case, one victory brought the one that came a er it, and that one – the one that followed suit.

•

A gist of the Rebbe’s sicha delivered on Hei Teves 5747 following Mincha, which subsequently – a year later – he was magiah as the weekly “likkut” for Parshas Vayigash 5748 (and appears in Likkutei Sichos volume 30) – deals with Yosef’s words to his brothers:

“It was not you who sent me here, for it was Hashem”,

“And He sent me here ahead of you, to ensure your survival in the land, and to sustain you for a great deliverance.”

“And He made me a ‘father’ to Paroh, and a master over his en re household, and a ruler over the en re land of Egypt.”

Yes, it seemed in the beginning that everything was “Elokim”, the Name associated with judgment and stringency; that we don’t see what is good and just about it – the situa on appears nega ve and depressing, but the ul mate purpose of the hardship and Yosef’s descent was a double one:

Firstly – to assist his brothers, Bnei Yisroel, upon their descent to Egypt, that they not be influenced by their lowly surroundings. Although the brothers were, by nature, shepherds – totally disconnected from the tumult of the city and the world, as the world disturbed them from their closeness with Hashem – Yosef is giving them strength, by his having gone down to Mitzrayim before them, “to ensure your survival in the land”.

Secondly, and more importantly: Not only that we not be

“Didan Notzach”Rabbi Eli Wolff

A Motherwith a Special

Shlichus The City surrounded by a WallMrs. Esther Wilhelm - Zhitomir, Ukraine

In my quest for informa on, clarifica on and calming – I subscribed to several groups and publica ons associated

with Down Syndrome. I tried to read as much as I could, in the hope that the more I’d know and recognize, it would lighten my fear of the unknown.

At a certain stage, I began to see something which would repeat itself again and again in some of the posts I’d read. Many parents wrote of “the woman in the supermarket who said such-and-such to my child”, “the doctor who told me these words”, “a rela ve who asked this type of ques on”, “Ten things to say (or not to say) to the parent of a child with Down Syndrome”, and so forth. Those expressions were at mes suppor ve ones, while others

were offensive.

The more I read ar cles of this type, I found myself, subconsciously, judging the comments and ques on which people would ask me – and categorize them in my mind either to the “suppor ng” side, or to the “insul ng” one.

Yet, at a certain point in me, I began thinking that this approach is going to be an ineffec ve one. I felt that I am becoming judgmental of myself - at the very me that I’m trying to teach others how to be accep ng and tolerant.

Many people are simply lacking knowledge regarding – or feel uncomfortable around – individuals with disabili es.

influenced by the surroundings, but we’ll even improve it, we’ll influence it and change it. We’ll upli and illuminate it. “And He made me a ‘father’ to Paroh, .. and a ruler over the en re land of Egypt.”

In this Sicha, the Rebbe clarifies – that it is especially the hardship, the accusa on of the Seforim case, circumstances of “Elokim” – which are to be the ones to spur us on to doubled efforts and ac vi es, in influencing the world, brightening the world, in greater measure than what was done ll now.

Let’s apply this message to our personal lives: All of us experience, in one sense or another, a circumstance of “Elokim”. A kind of concealment; dealing with difficul es, uncommon hurdles.

Yet, on the other hand, I have no doubt, that specifically this situa on, with the test or challenge that each one of us experiences and has to deal with – we are re-channel this hardship and, through it, help others. We share from our experience, making it easier for the other individual and are effec vely brightening his world.

Just as the take-away from Hei Teves – that especially

the difficulty brings to an increased ac vity – so too with us. It’s specifically the challenge and dealing with our children, becomes a realiza on by us, so that we can support those struggling in this field; so that we can assist them. “And He made me a father..”

•

In conclusion, a heart-to-heart sugges on.

Let each and every one of us u lize the auspicious days of Hei Teves, and as the Rebbe himself said in a sicha of 6 Teves 5747 (which I cited par ally here in the Newsle er, in the “Alumas Ohr” feature), let’s write and ask the Rebbe anything si ng on our hearts, without being bashful. And as the Rebbe’s words in that sicha: “Every single individual can write down whatever it is that he/she wants, without any embarrassment, for this is in a manner which he writes to the Aibishter through Nossi Doreinu.”

And B’ezras Hashem, each one of us will see his personal “Didan Notzach”, along with the universal “Didan Notzach”, b’korov mamosh.