My Family Online Fanzine: Issue 1

from your editor Like My Family, we’ll just keep coming back!

Hello to you all! Hope you’re all well, and welcome back to the Official My Family

Online Fanzine! It’s been a few months now, and various reasons meant that we

haven’t been able to launch the fanzine properly since the pilot issues in November

and December, but we’re back! Bigger, better and… bigger than ever!

At time of writing this, Wheelie Ben (series ten, episode one) has just aired, and I’m

waiting to see what kind of ratings it achieved. But the Harper’s are back! Ben seems

a lot happier, Susan seems… the same, Michael is about to reveal some shocking

news, Janey appears to be going through some sort of mental breakdown, Kenzo is

turning into a very funny, quick-whittled and charming little boy, and Roger’s

nowhere to be seen!

We’ve got a great issue this time round, full of news and information about Series

Ten, which will be on BBC One for the next two months! Hooray! We’ve also got

some great contributions from My Family fans, short reviews of the latest episodes, a

series comparison section and much, much more!

Enjoy the issue and see you all again in autumn, probably!

Kind regards,

Tom Simpson

Site Liaison and Fanzine Editor

OUR TEAM...

Site Liaison & Editor

Managing Editor

Copy Editor

Fanzine Analyst

Head Writer

Contributors

Assistants

Fanzine Design

Tom Simpson

Daniel Lees

Shanice Brackmon

Rosa Kyle

David Jones

Tania Crace

Alan Rusch

Robert Thurston

Victoria Davies

Dan Sommers

Myrtle Smithston

Daniel Lees

Max Benson

OUR MISSION...

The Official My Family Online Fanzine is the

brainchild of Tom Simpson and Daniel Lees, which

aims to allow the fans to voice their views,

opinions and ideas for the British comedy series,

My Family.

Every three months, a new issue will be released

featuring over twenty pages of articles produced

by the fans, for the fans!

Over the coming months, we hope to expand both

the site and fanzine with your help! This includes

regular contributions and the development of new

features! Contact us and get involved now!

contents

02 – ‘The House’ by David Jones. Ever wondered how important the Harper’s house is to My Family?

03 – ‘Abi’ by Daniel Lees. Abi jointed the Harpers in 2002 and left in 2008. What effect did she have on the series?

04 – ‘At a Glance’ by Tania Crace & Daniel Lees. Explore a world of My Family highlights!

06 – ‘Nick’ by David Jones. We take an in-depth look at his character and his impact on the show.

07 – ‘My Family Reloaded” by Tom Simpson. A preview of “Love and War” – the first script episode of My Family Reloaded.

13 – ‘Everyone’s A Critic” by Victoria Davies, Robert Thurston & Max Benson. Vicky, Rob and Max provide a round-up!

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This page was written and constructed by Tom Simpson and Daniel Lees. Please note that My Family and Images are copyright © to Rude Boy Productions, DLT Entertainment and the British

Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). No infringement intended. Material used is copyright © to My Family Online, Tom Simpson, Daniel Lees and the individual writer(s) stated on this page. Fanzine 1.1.

‘The House’ by David Jones

One of the most consistent features of

situation comedy is “the house”. Apart from

the most obvious candidates, such as

Porridge, Only When I Laugh or The Thin

Blue Line, most comedy is based at home.

It’s obvious why: it represents normality and

thus mirrors millions of people’s lives. The

Harper house, in Chiswick – ironically near

Shepherd’s Bush, the location of Steptoe

and Son, characters much further down the

class system than the more privileged

Harper family – is a typically suburban,

middle-class abode. According to star

Robert Lindsay, it’s probably worth a million

pounds, and as Michael pointed out, Ben

couldn’t afford it at today’s prices anyway.

We learn that the characters have lived in

the house nine years. Like most sitcoms, the

house displays a typically three dimensional,

open plan lay-out, with the sofa facing the

audience, or ‘the fourth wall’ as it’s known.

It’s unintentionally amusing to note that

between series one and two, the narrow

hallway between the kitchen and the living

room has disappeared without reference

and the en suite bathroom in Ben and

Susan’s bedroom moves from the right hand

side of the screen to the left.

Behind the immediate sitting area – near

the sofa – there is a rather cramped corner

where a piano is placed – oddly, it has to be

said, because none of the characters seem

to play it. This is indicative of a decidedly

middle-class family where the parents will

want their children to learn a classical

instrument. Probably the strangest thing

about the set is that there is no hallway. Like

a flat, the door opens up to the outside –

and vice versa. This is most likely so

characters who live elsewhere like Janey

and Roger can just waltz in and plough

straight into the dialogue. It also works for

when Ben comes home after a day’s work.

As has already been stated, it doesn’t look

like a real house. Everything which is there is

placed to accentuate light and colour.

Notice, for example, how often the

characters fill themselves a glass of pure

orange juice instead of colourless water. As

any prop designer will tell you, this is to

bring more colour into the scene –

providing, of course, it doesn’t match the

wallpaper! The place looks reasonably

comfortable, welcoming - if you’re not

Roger! – and, most of all, is populated by

larger-than-life characters. But whatever

you do, don’t live there. Chaos will ensue.

The house has two floors, with a carpeted stairwell leading

up to a converted attic which is Michael’s bedroom. Ben

and Susan’s room is on the second floor on the right, as is

the bathroom and Janey/Abi’s room, and to the left is

where Nick/Alfie stays.

Throughout My Family’s history, there are no authentic

locations scenes – whenever we see the characters

outside, the actors are simply being filmed on well-lit

stages. This makes the house all the more important. Like

the flat in Nelson Mandela House in Only Fools and Horses,

it’s the most important set of the entire programme.

Realistically, however, unlike Del Boy’s home, the Harpers

are firmly rooted in a typical sitcom environment. The

house is unashamedly modern and Americanised. It’s so

well lit, if you stand there too long you might catch a tan.

Oddly for a comedy, the windows aren’t prominent – in

One Foot in the Grave, for example, this was what made it

believable and less claustrophobic.

Ever wondered how important the Harper’s

house is to My Family? Ever wondered how the

show survives without location footage? David

Jones explores the layout changes, the lack of

authentic location scenes and compares the

sets to other well known British sitcoms is this

compelling article!

Written by David Jones. Edited by Shanice Brackmon. Page layout by Daniel Lees. Please note that My Family and Images are copyright © to Rude Boy Productions, DLT Entertainment and the British


2

Abi and Roger finally got married in series

seven but unfortunately, this was to be short

lived. Despite the usual shenanigans at the

altar, the character did manage to complete

the ceremony, but an unexpected event in

the show’s eight series would split them up,

forever.

Siobhan Hayes had decided that she wished

to leave the show after playing Abi for six

series. Thus, an episode which dealt with her

departure was written, filmed and broadcast

in as the finale of the eighth series. The

episode would see Abi reveal her previously

hidden religious beliefs and leave Roger so

that she could follow God. This ending was

perceived by many as being a bewildering

ending to a character that has never

displayed any religious beliefs whatsoever in

her six years on screen.

Also, since Abi’s departure, the character of

Roger Bailey has seen somewhat, redundant.

His appearance in the 2009 Christmas special

seemed incredibly pointless as he contributed

nothing to the plot.

My Family has seen the departure of many

key characters over its ten years on screen -

the first being Brigitte, who left after the first

series. She was soon followed by Daniela

Denby-Ashe (Janey Harper) who left after the

show’s third series, before returning for its

fifth. Kris Marshall (Nick Harper) moved out

of the Harper household after the third

series, appearing sporadically throughout the

fourth series and making only one

appearance in the fifth series. The character

of Alfie Butts departed in 2009 after four

years on the show.

3 ‘Abi’ by Daniel Lees

Originally introduced as Janey’s replacement,

Abi Harper (played by Siobhan Hayes) grew

into an integral aspect of My Family. The

character first appeared in the show’s third

series and soon became the female

equivalent of Nick in terms of stupidity.

The character of Abi Harper was an indirect

replacement for Janey, as actress Daniela

Denby-Ashe had decided to leave to pursue

projects anew. However, when Daniela

returned to the show in the fifth run,

Siobhan’s character quickly became the idiot

of the series. She continued to portray this

personality until Abi’s departure in 2008.

The arrival of Abi didn’t help the show win

the critics over, with many believing that

another soulless two-dimensional character

had been parachuted in. The character went

on to appear in six series, a total of fifty-seven

episodes! The character brought much

humour to the screens but every now and

then, the laughs would be due to the ‘over-

the-top’ performance given by Siobhan.

It’s actually quite hard to work out which

character replaced which character. After all,

was Nick replaced by Roger or Alfie? I’m not

too sure. But that’s all quite irrelevant really,

unless you’re a hard core My Family fan!

One of the sitcom’s many running gags was

Roger and Abi’s obvious feelings for each

other, but neither of them wishing to make a

move. The 2006 series saw Roger finally pop

the question though – the result being Abi

fainting and viewers having to wait a good

eight months to find out her answer.

The ongoing story between Abi and Roger

was portrayed in such a convincing manner

that viewers would easily become

emotionally invested in the scenes – even to

the extent of shouting at the television

screen! “Ask her Roger! Go on!” As with most

television sitcoms, Roger waited a whole four

series before actually asking Abi to marry

him, forming one of the largest story arcs

used in the series.

Abi Harper jointed the Harper

household in 2002 and left in 2008.

What effect did she have on the

series and how did the character

develop? Daniel Lees looks at Abi’s

six series with My Family.

Written by Daniel Lees. Edited by Shanice Brackmon. Page layout by Max Benson. Please note that My Family and Images are copyright © to Rude Boy Productions, DLT Entertainment and the British


5

Written by Tania Crace & Daniel Lees. Edited by Shanice Brackmon. Page layout by Max Benson. Please note that My Family and Images are copyright © to Rude Boy Productions, DLT Entertainment

and the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC). No infringement intended. Material used is copyright © to My Family Online, Tom Simpson, Daniel Lees and the individual writer(s) stated on this page.

Fanzine 1.1.

‘At a Glance’ by Tania Crace & Daniel Lees

My Family has broadcast many episodes during its ten years on air. Some

have been regular length, some have been extended specials and others

have been clip shows. Tania Crace and Daniel Lees explore a world of My

Family highlights in this intriguing article!

5. The Parent Trap (11 April 2008)

Airing as the first episode of My Family’s

eighth series, ‘The Parent Trap’ was a

fantastic series opener. Packed to the rafters

with quick one-liners, a stable plot and a neat

twist, this episode easily makes it into our top

ten favourite episodes!

This episode was written by Brian Leveson

and Paul Minett, the writers of The Booze

Cruise, which starred comedy legends Martin

Clunes, Mark Benton and Brian Murphy. This

episode marked the turnaround point for the

show – episodes from series eight onwards

increased in quality massively. 7/10

4. My Will Be Done (30 April 2004)

This gem of an episode saw the return of Nick,

who made his one and only appearance in the

show’s fifth series. Whilst quality had dropped

slightly for the run, this episode in particular

picked the series up – whether this was due to

Nick’s return is unknown.

This episode was written by Andrea Solomons,

who sadly no longer writes for the show, after

moving onto shows such as Nicholas

Lyndhurst’s After You’ve Gone. ‘My Will Be

Done’ was a typically amusing episode with a

few plot twists. 7/10

3. Farewell to Alarms (17 October 2000)

This episode is quite frankly the best episode

of series one – if only for Robert Lindsay’s

front room acrobatics in an attempt to turn

off the house alarm without triggering it!

‘Farewell to Alarms’ is a truly hilarious

episode from a series in its prime.

This episode was written by Steve and Jim

Armogida, two writers who are still writing

for the show today! This episode featured

some classic one-liners, some hilarious

physical stunts and the best plot of the entire

first series (in our opinion)! Definitely top-

notch My Family! 8/10

4

2. Sixty Feet Under (25 December 2003)

This is quite easily our favourite episode of first era My

Family! The entire episode takes place on a tube train,

which has been stopped by faulty signals. The driver ends

up having an emotional breakdown (partly brought on by

Susan’s interference), Nick starts selling bottled water at

extortionate prices and Michael gains and loses a

girlfriend.

The episode is not unlike a couple of episodes produced

for television legend, One Foot in the Grave, whereby the

characters spend the entire episode in just one room, or

one particular location (such as in a car during a bank

holiday traffic jam). For this reason alone, we salute it!

This is an absolute gem of a special from James Hendrie

and Ian Brown, both of whom later left the series to write

for various other projects, including After You’ve Gone. A

brilliantly written Christmas special with exceptional

acting which we thoroughly enjoyed! 9/10

1. The Heart of Christmas (25 December 2006)

This is the episode that we have chosen as our all-time

number one My Family episode. Why you ask? Well, for

many reasons. Firstly, the episode sees the show come

back on top form after a rather dire sixth series. Secondly,

this episode is simply pure comic gold – nobody wants to

spend Christmas in hospital, but Ben does! If it means

escaping his family for the entire festive season, then he’s

up for it!

We love this episode because it involves all the main

characters in their own little subplots, but also it features

the drama that can only be brought to life with the

combination of comedy. The children each wishing Ben

good luck before his operation is a scene that is capable

of bringing a tear to the eye of the viewer.

Also, this episode features some of the best lines and

comic timing of the entire series. This episode really is a

treat to watch, and it’s just a shame that it isn’t readily

available on DVD yet. However, availability grumbles

aside, this really is a legendary episode of the show and

deserves this number one spot! 10/10

6 ‘Nick’ by David Jones

Arguably the most challenging obstacle the makers of the

show have faced is the departure of Nick Harper. Probably

the show’s most popular character, it was a shock to many

when actor Kris Marshal left. The ‘stupid one’ is a stock

character in comedy and this exaggerated figure of low-

intelligence has been the bedrock of situation comedy since

the genre’s inception. A character on his own, however,

talking to himself, is not funny. If such a scene was

witnessed, it would be incredibly tragic. What makes it

funny is the reaction. Stan Laurel – taking on the archetypal

clown role – wouldn’t be funny without Oliver Hardy’s

pained expressions to camera, wherein we identify and

sympathise with his plight. In My Family, the frustrated one

is – of course – Nick’s father, Ben Harper.

Such characters like stupid Nick, swotty Michael and slutty

Janey are partly why critics hate the show – they deem

these characters to have no backbone, to be wafer-thin and

soulless. A good argument could be made for this, as

stereotypes are instantly identifiable. Any viewer could

watch a scene with Nick in for mere seconds before saying,

“I get it – he’s supposed to be the stupid one”. But it has to

be said that actor Kris Marshall brought something special

to the role and without him, the character would be

nowhere near as successful as he was. Other characters

from other sitcoms have since tried to emulate the grinning,

gormless and indelibly popular cretin. Fred Barron sitcoms

like the terrible flop Home Again had such a character, as

did After You’ve Gone.

One of the running gags in the early series was the latest

plan of Nick’s to get rich quick – an unacknowledged steal

from Only Fools and Horses and Sgt Bilko, but funny

nonetheless. These involved becoming a stage magician, a

background actor and a Gorilla-gram. Unlike Michael, who

went from a thirteen year old bespectacled swot to a fairly

normal teenager and twenty-something, Nick’s character

never had a chance to mature and develop. Perhaps there

were no developments to make. If the character got

cleverer or in anyway savvy, the humour would diminish.

Kris Marshall wanted to leave the show after the first series,

fearing he might be type-cast, but worried producers

negotiated his stay for a further run of two series, with

sporadic appearances in the fourth run. He made only one

appearance in Series 5, wherein his absence was explained

with Nick announcing he had been riding on the tube for six

months. He turned up again in the Christmas 2004 special,

albeit only within a “video postcard” segment, which

showed Nick in a far-away jungle. It ended up being an

elaborate hoax to get Ben to wire him some money. This

“sketch” was written by separate writers – presumably

because Marshall had script approval.

Nick really is My Family when we look at the

first four series of the show. David Jones takes

an in-depth look at the character and his

impact on the show in this fascinating article!

Written by David Jones. Edited by Daniel Lees. Page layout by Max Benson. Please note that My Family and Images are copyright © to Rude Boy Productions, DLT Entertainment and the British


Presumably as a replacement for Nick, Roger Bailey Jr was

introduced. The son of Nick’s dentist, Roger also dealt with

teeth. Roger soon fell in love with Abi – herself a

replacement for the briefly departed Janey – but, this being

a sitcom, Roger couldn’t tell Abi how he felt. This

continuous sub-plot mirrored the Niles/Daphne scenario in

the incredibly successful US sitcom Frasier.

Christmas 2005 saw the introduction of Alfie Butts – who

claimed to be a friend of Nick’s. This character was, in this

writer’s opinion, the absolute abyss. Nick couldn’t stop

grinning – so Alfie never did. He was the complete opposite,

and the calculations to make him different were plain to

see. Alfie was nowhere near as popular with viewers and

wasn’t even recognised by some. This was probably

because, when the series debuted in 2000, it received in

excess of eleven million viewers – more than half of what

the show was getting when Alfie was introduced. Also,

Alfie’s character was rather sketchy – as if the writers

couldn’t figure out whether to make him quietly intelligent

or unbelievably dim. His slow talking, clichéd tales of life in

a comedy Wales were cringe worthy, elicited groans and

left no indelible impression. The character vanished without

reference after Series 9.

The last we heard of Nick, he was in South America. How he

managed to get a green card without a job is unclear, but

Ben would no doubt be pleased that his least favourite son

is too far away to cause him any more disasters.

“Love and War” was written by Tom Simpson and edited by Daniel Lees. Material used is copyright © to My Family Online, Tom Simpson, Daniel Lees and the individual writer(s) stated on this page.

Fanzine 1.1. The characters are copyright © to DLT Entertainment, Rude Boy Productions, the BBC and the individual creators/writers/producers of My Family.

INT. KITCHEN

Susan is sitting at the table, reading a book.

We hear the front door shutting, and footsteps

approaching the door.

From the living room, we can hear Janey talking

to someone -

JANEY

Just wait here, darling, Mummy needs to

have a word with Grandma, OK?

KENZO

OK.

As the door opens, and Janey walks in, Susan

looks up, she closes the door after herself –

JANEY

(There is a concerned look on her face, and

her tone is pretty serious)

Mum?

SUSAN

(Looking rather worried)

Janey, what's wrong?

Janey sits down at the table, and Susan puts her

book down.

JANEY

It's Kenzo; I think there's something up...

SUSAN

Why, what's he said?

JANEY

That's the problem, on the way back from

school, he didn't say anything. He's been

really quiet for the past few days.

SUSAN

Have you thought to ask him what's wrong?

JANEY

Yep. But every time I try to engage him in

conversation, he just closes up, says

nothing, and mutters occasionally.

SUSAN

Sounds like your father!

JANEY

(Seems genuinely horrified at what she's

thinking)

Oh, God, you don't think...?!

SUSAN

Oh, no, I doubt Kenzo's got any of Ben's

genes. For one, he seems to enjoy spending

time with the family.

JANEY

I'm just really worried that something’s

up, Mum, and you always seem to be able to

get people to open up... remember when I

was getting bullied at school?

SUSAN

The thumb screws certainly helped!

JANEY

Plus, you threatened to throw me out of the

house if I didn't tell you...

SUSAN

No, I think that was your father, and I

don't think you were getting bullied... I

think it was just his general feeling.

(Returns to the point in question; she

smiles, trying to calm Janey's fears)

Don't worry, I'll talk to Kenzo.

JANEY

(She smiles)

Thanks, Mum.

Janey gets up and opens the door. Kenzo is still

stood there, looking rather dazed and confused.

JANEY

Kenzo, Grandma wants a word.

Kenzo strolls into the Kitchen and sits on the

same chair as Janey was.

SUSAN

And how are you today, Kenzo?

KENZO

(Distant)

Yeah.

Janey looks extremely concerned, and Susan looks

as her as if to say 'go'.

Janey looks puzzled, and Susan points towards the

door, which is open.

Janey walks over to it and closes it.

Susan closes her eyes for a second and shakes her

head in disbelief.

Janey returns to the position that she was

before.

Kenzo’s being very quiet and grumpy. Janey is worried that

something maybe up, but is also thinking something worse: he may be

turning into his Granddad!

Janey asks Susan to have a word, and it transpires that he’s

being bullied, much to the disgust and worry of Janey and Susan. They

tell him to confront this bully, and give him what he deserves, but the

outcome certainly isn’t one that anyone could expect!

Meanwhile, Michael and Alfie go on a ‘camping’ holiday, but

Michael is in for the shock of his life when he discovers what they are

really going to do!



Susan points at Janey and then points towards the

door, and then makes a 'pushing' movement with

her hand.

Janey mouths 'I've closed it'.

Kenzo is just sat there, in a world of his own,

unaware at what the two women are doing and

saying.

Susan gets up and walks over to Janey.

SUSAN

Go!

JANEY

What?

SUSAN

You've asked me to talk to Kenzo, and I'm

trying to, but it doesn't help that you’re

standing in the room!

JANEY

Oh, you want to be left alone!

SUSAN

Yes! Please, if you wouldn't mind. He might

feel a bit more comfortable if it's just me

and him.

JANEY

(Looking puzzled)

You could have just said!

Janey strolls out of the room and closes the door

behind her.

SUSAN

Losing more brain cells every day!

Susan sighs, and returns to the table, this time,

sitting right next to Kenzo.

SUSAN

Kenzo? Darling? Is something up?

KENZO

(He looks puzzled, but still quite distant)

No?

SUSAN

Are you sure? Because you know if something

is wrong, like you've got a problem, it's

always best to share it.

KENZO

But Granddad is always telling me to keep

my problems to myself, because spreading

them just makes other people miserable?

SUSAN

Bit of advice, Kenzo; never listen to your

Granddad, he's a complete idiot when it

comes to emotions.

KENZO

But you married him!

SUSAN

Yes, well...

(Realises she's drifting off the point)

Anyway, we're drifting of the point. Is

something wrong, Kenzo? Has someone upset

you? Are you being bullied?

KENZO

No...

SUSAN

You do know that your Mummy is very worried

and upset about you? Because you're being

very quiet lately.

KENZO

What if the problem was something that no-

one could solve?

SUSAN

No problem is unsolvable, Kenzo. Look, is

something wrong? Something that you don't

feel you can talk to your Mum about?

KENZO

Well, there is this person who I told Mummy

about... at school... who's -

The front door slams shut.

BEN

Bloody cheek!

SUSAN

Oh, off all the times!

(She sighs)

I'm sorry, Kenzo, will you just give me a

minute?

KENZO

OK.

Susan gets up, with a rather angry look on her

face. She opens the door, walks out of the

kitchen, and slams it shut.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Ben is in his usual grumpy mood, after another

day of dentistry.

Susan stands by the kitchen door. Fuming.

BEN

(To Susan)

Do you know...?

SUSAN

NO! Could you please, just for five

minutes, shut up?

BEN

But...

8



SUSAN

I am TRYING to have a conversation with

Kenzo.

BEN

Why, wh...

SUSAN

SIT DOWN ON THE SOFA AND SHUT UP! AND DON'T

SAY A WORD OR MOVE UNTIL I SAY SO!

Ben looks genuinely frightened.

Like a 'naughty child', he retreats to the sofa

and sits, quietly.

SUSAN

Thank you.

She walks back into the kitchen -

INT. KITCHEN

- and closes the door behind her.

She smiles at Kenzo.

SUSAN

Sorry about that.

KENZO

It's OK.

SUSAN

Now, where were we?

She sits back down.

KENZO

(Realises its maybe time to open up and

tell the truth)

There's this person at my school... He

keeps on picking on me, singling me out,

making me do stuff like write on the board.

He's even made me do his homework a few

times.

SUSAN

(Disgusted)

That's... terrible!

KENZO

Did Mummy ever get bullied at school?

SUSAN

No, but your Uncle Michael did.

We get a small flashback to "Pain in the Class";

the scene where Michael is standing, covered in

dried custard.

SUSAN

Although, to be fair, Janey did kind of

solve that problem.

(She's smiling a little bit, but soon stops

after she realises what she's doing)

But, no, we mustn't use violence... this

person hasn't ever used violence on you,

has he?!

KENZO

No.

SUSAN

Right, thank you very much for telling me,

Kenzo. We'll get this sorted out in no

time, I promise.

KENZO

Thanks, Grandma.

Kenzo hugs Susan, and she smiles.

SUSAN

When you go into school on Monday, you're

going to confront this bully, tell him to

stop what he's doing, or your Mum and

Grandma will come and deal with him, OK?

KENZO

(Grinning)

Can I call him big, fat and ugly, too?

SUSAN

I wouldn't if I were you.

Kenzo gets off his chair and walks towards the

door.

KENZO

Thank you.

SUSAN

(Smiling)

My pleasure. Oh, and can you send your

Mummy in, please?

KENZO

OK.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Ben is still sat there, silent and still. Looking

rather bored.

Kenzo walks out of the kitchen and towards the

stairs -

KENZO

Mummy! Grandma wants a word with you.

Janey comes running down the stairs, looking very

concerned -

JANEY

Is everything OK, sweetheart?

KENZO

(Smiling) Yes.

JANEY

(Smiling too) Good. I'll just go and talk

to Grandma.

9



She kisses Kenzo on the forehead and walks

towards the kitchen, noticing Ben on the way

past, sitting there, statue-like.

JANEY

You OK, Dad?

He 'hmm's' and nods. Janey just shakes it off as

him being in one of his strange moods.

She walks into the kitchen and shuts the door

behind her.

Kenzo walks up to Ben and sits on the sofa with

him. Ben doesn't move.

KENZO

Granddad?

He smiles and nods.

KENZO

Are you OK?

He smiles and nods again.

Kenzo's having none of it - he walks over to the

kitchen door, knocks on it, and after Susan says

'come in', he walks in -

INT. KITCHEN

SUSAN

What is it, darling?

KENZO

Granddad's ignoring me.

SUSAN

BEN! Stop ignoring Kenzo!

BEN

But you told me to...

SUSAN

I don't care! Stop ignoring your grandson!

KENZO

(Grinning) Thank you.

INT. LIVING ROOM

Kenzo shuts the kitchen door behind him, and sits

on the sofa besides Ben.

KENZO

I've been getting picked on at school, but

Mummy and Grandma are going to let him have

it!

BEN

You've been getting bullied?! How long for?

KENZO

A few weeks.

BEN

Why didn't you tell someone before?

KENZO

Because you told me...

BEN

Oh, dear. Bit of advice Kenzo...

KENZO

Don't listen to you?

BEN

Got it in one kid. You think you've had it

bad? You haven't got on your grandmothers

bad side yet! She could make a grown man

cry!

(He seems to remember something)

And has... many, many times.

(Realising something)

Has this person got parents?

KENZO

I dunno.

BEN

Actually, best not go there, last time I

met parents of a bully, well... amazing how

much you can do with a rolled up newspaper!

We get a small flashback to the same episode,

this time, the scene is of Ben attacking Jason

Hodders parents!

BEN

Don't worry, though, Kenzo, bully's never

win.

KENZO

Except for when they do.

BEN

Well, yes, but, not always...

KENZO

Most times, though.

BEN

Well, not this one.

KENZO

Not after Grandmas got hold of him!

BEN

Yeah... poor kid. He'll be in therapy for

the rest of his life.

Fade to black...

EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND

It is early morning, before School, Janey and

Kenzo walk into the school playground and stop -

JANEY

Remember what we told you - stand up to

this person, and if they don't back down,

tell them that your Mummy and Grandma will

be onto them like a shot!

10



KENZO

OK.

JANEY

Have a great day, sweetheart, and good

luck.

They both hug and he walks off into the building.

INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR

It's Monday morning, about 9am. A class are lined

up outside a classroom. Kenzo is in this line,

looking rather nervous. The teacher, Mr. Digsby

comes along and opens the classroom door.

MR. DIGSBY

Go on in class, quietly and quickly.

(Kenzo comes to the forefront of the line)

Ah, Kenzo Harper! Have you done that

homework I asked for on Friday?

KENZO

No!

MR. DIGSBY

And... why not?!

KENZO

Because my Mummy and Grandma told me not

to.

Kenzo just walks past the gobsmacked teacher,

confident that he'll win this one. The teacher

lets the rest of the class go in.

INT. CLASSROOM

Mr. Digsby is standing at the front of the class,

by his desk.

MR. DIGSBY

(Turning his attention towards Kenzo)

Now, Mr. Harper, I'll 'ignore' the comment

you made outside, and I'd just like you to

explain why you haven't done your homework?

KENZO

Because my Mummy and Grandma told me not

to.

MR. DIGSBY

I don't believe that for a second.

KENZO

Oh, and then told me to tell you that

you've got to stop making me do your

homework, and stop making me write on the

board. And, if you don't, they're going to

come here and beat you up!

The class gasp. Some of them giggle.

MR. DIGSBY

I...

KENZO

And you're ugly!

MR. DIGSBY

How dare you!

(Genuinely shocked)

I expected better off you, Kenzo! We're

going to see the headmistress, immediately!

EXT. SCHOOL PLAYGROUND

Janey is waiting anxiously for her son to come

out, amongst a sea of other parents.

Finally, the bell rings, and a few seconds

afterward, hundreds of kids come running out. But

no Kenzo.

It's about five minutes later, and most of the

other kids and parents have gone.

Kenzo is at the front entrance, being given a

letter by a teacher. He comes running out of the

school.

He runs up to Janey and gives her a massive hug.

JANEY

Did you stand up to him? Tell him what we

told you to say?

KENZO

Yes.

JANEY

And what happened, have the school dealt

with him yet?

(Trying to be sneaky and sarcastic)

Did you deal with him in private?

KENZO

No, I told him what you told to say to me

in front of my class.

(He hands her a letter)

And they've excluded me...

THE FULL SCRIPT WILL BE AVAILABLE ON MY FAMILY

ONLINE VERY SOON!

11

Just £26.48

At the My Family Online shop!

Value Deal!

Last of the

Summer Wine

Last of the

Summer Wine

Returns on 25 July 2010

at 19:30 on BBC One

LLAASSTT EEVVEERR SSEERRIIEESS

It’s been a busy old month for MFO! What with Series Ten starting to air, me

finishing College etc, I’ve spent about 10 hours editing the site on average over

the last week or so!

The amount of visitors we’ve had since the site returned to full-time operation is

really quite phenomenal -

I hope I don’t sound too arrogant in hoping that at some point during this series,

we’ll hit (or bypass) 200 visitors, as that would be a huge record and

achievement for the site!

I have to admit, at learning that Series Ten was going to start airing last Friday… I

had to change quite a few of my plans; as I’d planned to carry on the episode

guide updates, and Kenzo’s Project, until I left for my Holiday in mid-July (which

I’ll talk about down the page), and then continue them in mid-August, on my

return… however, I learnt of Series Ten airing, and all of a sudden I was in the

position where the show was starting in a matter of weeks and I’d done little or

no advertising! Thankfully, we’re now into the second week, and I’ve finally got

my arse into gear, thought clearly about what to do, and did it (OCD and

aspergers, what a lethal combination).

Anyway, my Holiday. Talk about coming at a bad time! I mean, I’ll enjoy it, but I

just don’t like the idea of leaving the site without updates during such a crucial

time, but I do hope people understand. I will try and get online once or twice,

probably on the evening of broadcast to prepare for the episode airing, but

beyond that, I obviously won’t be able to access the iPlayer to watch the episode

to I can write the synopsis etc, so I’m afraid those kinds of updates will probably

have to wait till mid August! Eek!

But, in general, the site is doing phenomenal at present; updates are occurring at

least once or twice daily and I’m hot on the heels of ratings information etc.

Though I do have a little bit of a dilemma; I’ve lost my Series Four, Disc 1 DVD

and, I need to do the episode guide soon! Tom Simpson

The Official My Family Online Fanzine thanks:

Tom Simpson - Daniel Lees Rosa Kyle - David Jones – Max Benson

Tania Crace – Robert Thurston – Alan Rusch – Victoria Davies – Dan Sommers – Shanice Brackmon

Want to contribute to Issue Two?

We are always looking for new team members to

help us produce an even better fanzine!

Do you think that you can bring something fresh to

our production? Then please do not hesitate to

contact us at [email protected]!

mailto:[email protected]

My Family Online Fanzine: Issue 1

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Transcript of My Family Online Fanzine: Issue 1