My ELife Magazine April May 2016

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MY ELIFE MYELIFEMAG.COM APRIL/MAY 2016 336-323-8091 MY ELIFE MYELIFEMAG.COM APRIL/MAY 2016 336-323-8091

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On the cover: Pastor Curtis Friday and Lady Shameka Friday; Steve Harvey gives a powerful 3 minute sermon about trusting God, not people

Transcript of My ELife Magazine April May 2016

Page 1: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 2: My ELife Magazine April May 2016
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Should we pray for

the defeat is ISIS or

their conversion? Submit your answer today. Your response

or opinion can help someone that’s dealing

with the above topic.

myelifemag

The importance of social

media for businesses.

With the advent of social networking,

social scientists and media experts have

wondered about the benefits social

networking brings to communication.

While some of these are obvious, some

others have only become apparent as

users have become familiar with social

networking. The ability to increase our

networking potential or work with others

regardless of distance presents new

ways for us to do business. Furthermore,

the ability to stay in contact with friends

and family allows us to maintain closer

ties to our loved ones across long dis-

tances.

Many people have lofty ideas about things they would like to ac-

complish for God but they seem to have no sense of how to see the

dream fulfilled. There is power in having a vision. A man without

a vision is a man without a future, which therefore will always

cause him to return to his past. Vision is the bridge between the

present and the future which

gives us purpose. Those with-

out vision spend their lives tak-

ing the path of least resistance

as they try to avoid discomfort.

The level of sacrifice that a

vision requires will determine

the size of people who follow.

Sacrifice separates the small

from the great. Vision is what

we see, but it is also is the way

we see. It is the lens that inter-

prets the events in our life, the

way we view people and our

concept of God. Our eyes are

the windows of our heart. We

perceive with our eyes but see

with our hearts. Our minds

receive images from our eyes

but our heart interprets these

images. True Godly vision

consists of foresight, insight and oversight. Foresight is like look-

ing at life through a telescope, which allows us to know what is

ahead as it connects us to our future all while giving us motivation.

Insight is like viewing life through a microscope, which gives us

understanding of why things happen in life, it also helps to deter-

mine the underlying motivations of the heart. Oversight puts life

into context, it’s like flying over a city in a helicopter. A vision

from the Lord creates a mission from Heaven. The first part of ac-

complishing any vision is to take it from the unseen world and

bring it into the natural realm. This can be accomplished simply by

writing down the vision. Articulating the vision on paper pulls the

dream that is in your sprit/mind (only you can see) into the visible

world. Secondly, create a plan to accomplish the mission and after

the plan is established, goals must be set (Philippians 3:14). Al-

ways keep in mind that no vision is ever too small or too big! ■

Derek Miller, Editor

& Michelle Miller

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091 3

FROM THE PUBLISHER/EDITOR

The Power of Vision

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04 PUBLISHER’S NOTES

06 HOW TO BE A CHRISTIAN

08 RELATIONSHIPS

11 MAKE MONEY FROM HOME

12 ESTATE PLANNING

15 POLITICAL

20 Q&A

22 COMMUNITY

23 COVER STORY

24 COMMUNITY

28 FOOD FOR THOUGHT

29 CHURCH DIRECTORY

14 8 24

SHOULD WE PRAY FOR

THE DEFEAT OF ISIS OR

ON THE COVER: pastor Curtis Friday and

Lady Shameka Friday

4 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

16 27

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My E Life Magazine

336-323-8091

President / Editor

Derek Miller

Director of Marketing

Mike James

Contributing Writers

Greg Baker

Donna Nealy

Rotimi Oluwaseyitan

Mike James

Skyler Spencer

Michelle Miller

Layout / Graphic Design

DPI Graphic Design

To Advertise Call 336-323-8091

Submissions are welcomed.

Please send stories and ads to

[email protected]

My E Life Magazine

P.O. Box 13502

Greensboro, NC

27415

MY E LIFE magazine reserves the right to

deny any or all advertisements that go

against our standards. We are at no

means connected or affiliated with any

advertisements. No part of any publica-

tion may be reproduced without written

permission from the authors. The opinions

and articles not written by My E Life

magazine staff do not necessarily repre-

sent our views.

www.myelifemag.com SAVING SOULS, MAKING DISCIPLES

5

You Can Love People Without

Approving Their Decisions By Jarrid Wilson

“Y ou can still love people without ap-

proving their decisions and/or way of

life.”

Every time I open up the Bible, I can-

not help but notice the number of times

it commands us to love the people

around us. We’re told to love our enemies, our neighbors, our

spouses and the world alike (Mark 12:31). But while the Bible is

pretty crystal clear on relentlessly loving those we come across on a

daily basis, it seems that many of us have come to make justifica-

tions as to why we don’t need to showcase love the way Jesus in-

tended us to.

I’ve heard everything from, “But, they might think I’m affirming

their actions” to “They’re just not a nice person.” And while I un-

derstand where these people are trying to come from, it still doesn’t

give them the right to withhold love from anyone, let alone those

who are broken and in need of it the most. The love of Jesus has no

bounds, no limits and no expectations. It just loves. If you call your-

self a Christ follower, then you are called to reflect the same image

followed by the same intensity.

You want people to see Jesus when they see you. You want peo-

ple to find comfort in your presence, forgiveness in your heart and

love in your soul. You want people to feel like they can confide in

you without being criticized and judged irrationally. You want peo-

ple to know that your words, even if in opposition of their opinion,

will be shared in love.

“But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is

love.” —1 John 4:8

This isn’t an easy task, but it’s definitely an honorable one for all

Christians who are willing to pick up their crosses daily. We’re

called to love people no matter where they are from, what they’re

doing or how messed up they really are. You can still love people

without approving their decisions and/or way of life. You can speak

truth but still do it in a loving and compassionate way. How do I

know this? Because Jesus did this all throughout scripture.

“If we have got the true love of God shed abroad in our hearts,

we will show it in our lives. We will not have to go up and down

the earth proclaiming it. We will show it in everything we say or

do.” —Dwight L. Moody

Love well. ■

MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

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SPONSORED BY:

New Life Faith Outreach.

3114-B Corbett Rd.

Pleasant Grove, NC 27302.

336-253-2121

Bishop

Harold Farr, Jr.

and First Lady How to become

a Christian

Congratulations! You are now a Christian (a follower of Jesus Christ)

2 Timothy 2:3 says,

“You therefore must endure hardship as a

Soldier of Jesus Christ.”

No one said the Christian life would be easy or without challenges.

God’s promises are forever established in Heaven. So even if our situations and

circumstances are difficult, we must think “above the clouds” and

know that God is still there.

Now therefore allow God to connect you with a Bible

teaching ministry and let your light shine for Christ!

What does this mean to us? After all, we are not

prophets like Jeremiah. No, but we are human beings

created in God's image like Jeremiah. God knew each

of us; what our strengths and weaknesses; abilities and

limitation would be. It is up to us as to whether we will

accept God's will or not, just as it was up to Jeremiah.

God is not a controlling God; He gives use choices.

Deuteronomy 30:19 says “Today I have given

you the choice between life and death, be-

tween blessings and curses. Now I call on

heaven and earth to witness the choice

you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you

and your descendants might live!

Will you accept Him into your heart today? If so repeat

these words and say “Lord Jesus, thank you for touch-

ing my heart and giving me the choice to receive you. I

do believe that you are the Son of God and that you

shed your blood and died on the cross for me. I ask

you now to forgive me of all the wrong I have

done, and to make my life new in you. ■

The Ball Is In Your Court "Now the word of the Lord came to me saying, 'Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were

born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5). God tells Jeremiah that He

"knew" him before he was formed within the womb. He already knew Jeremiah's strengths and weaknesses. He already

knew that Jeremiah would possess what God wanted to use during this particularly trying time of Israel's history.

6 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

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7

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MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 8: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

T alking about sexual history with the person

you’re dating can go wrong very quickly.

It can turn a healthy dating relationship

into a game of manipulation and control in

a millisecond. When sexual history is re-

vealed, both parties may feel betrayed for different reasons.

Every sentence takes on the cadence of a threat—an ulti-

matum. Every question can land like a left hook.

“I thought you loved me.” “It’s dealt with in Christ, so

why is this so hard for you?” “What grief or concerns am I

allowed to express?”

Dealing with sexual history can turn intimacy into a

battlefield, and affection into a tangled web of recorded

wrongs—of power plays and sharpened blades. I’ve been

on both sides of this conversation. I allowed insecurity to

take the driving seat. I allowed my ego to become the thing

I protected and cherished, rather than the valuable and vul-

nerable image of God in front of me.

Rarely do two Christians have the proper tools to defuse

the conversation. Dating is an unstable kind of relation-

ship—it either ends in a marriage or a breakup. A sexual

history only complicates matters. It can make us nervous,

cautious, withholding, unsparing, unforgiving and bludg-

eoning. But, by God’s infinite and mysterious grace, it can

also be an event for mending, for excavating, for cherish-

ing, for learning—if we have the courage.

The twin emotions of dating with a sexual history are

embarrassment and impatience. Embarrassment, because

you feel exposed and judged as you feel the weight of the

other person’s purity. Impatience, because you want to let

the past be the past, and refuse to be rejected and discarded

for a past with which you’ve dealt diligently with the Lord

and the church.

Embarrassment

“I’m sorry.” “I can’t tell him.” “What if she breaks up

with me?”

There are a few practical things to remember for those

embarrassed by their sexual history. First, don’t play the

comparison game. Lack of a sexual history does not equal

purity of heart. That’s just not the way the heart works

(Matthew 5:28). Nor does lack of sexual history bring rela-

tional security. To seek the person with the “cleanest” story

is an attempt to control a future—it’s

not a search for holiness, but a divine

coup d’état, striving to micromanage

our own safety and power. It can also

belittle the sovereign and sanctifying

grace of God. Your history says less

about you than an accuser might

have you believe. If you’ve

truly put your hope in

Jesus Christ, and given

yourself to a lifelong

pursuit of his holi-

ness, your history

cannot condemn

you anymore.

Second, guard

your own heart

against another’s

manipulation. Your

past sins were not

against your partner in a

way that allows them to co-

erce you into more sexual immoral-

ity. Yes, your sin has real-time impli-

cations for them, and you may eventu-

ally need to apologize for it. But David

insists of God, “Against you, you only,

have I sinned” (Psalm 51:4). That

means: Don’t let embarrassment over your sexual history

give your partner the power to take advantage of you—

perhaps even in a sexual way, to “make up” for the deficit

they feel they have measured against your past relation-

ships. You do not owe them anything. To insist on any-

thing more is the work of the Liar (Proverbs 19:22). Often,

shame can be a seedbed of further sin. It is essential to be

aware of that.

Third, your sin has been canceled and covered in Jesus

Christ (Colossians 2:13). The violent and irreversible vic-

tory that Jesus Christ wins over death and guilt speaks the

final word on your sin: “Little children … Forgiven” (1

Your Sexual Past

Doesn’t Make You

Damaged Goods By Paul Maxwell

Provided by Desiring God

RELATIONSHIPS

Your sin has been

canceled and

covered in Jesus

Christ (Colossians 2:13)

8 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

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9

John 2:12). Let that be the lens through which you under-

stand yourself and your past. Any other voice, even one

that has been hurt or offended or threatened, does not get

the final word. You are deeply loved and cherished

(Ephesians 5:1). God has a plan for you, no less than for

any other (1 Timothy 1:16). You are not a second-class

citizen in the kingdom. You are not a second-rate option

for a Christian spouse. You are a child of God, and he does

not punish past sins with circumstantial hardship. He pun-

ished your sins, sexual or otherwise, on the cross. “He was

crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement

that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are

healed” (Isaiah 53:5).

Impatience “This is my past. Deal with it.” “Why can’t you just get

over this?” “It’s not a big deal. Just trust me.”

Your partner has a reaction to your past: They’re hurt

and insecure, and they’re asking an overwhelming number

of questions. Their

hurt feels resent-

ful, bitter, judg-

mental, dismissive

and unwarranted.

Embarrassment

can make you feel

cornered and en-

raged. Their inse-

curity feels like a

prophet of your

rejection and hu-

miliation. Fear lies

at the root of the

worst sorts of frus-

tration and impa-

tience. There are a

few things to keep

in mind.

First, previous

reactions people

have had to your

sexual history

don’t dictate how

the next boyfriend

or girlfriend will

receive it. Give

them the very

benefit of the doubt that you want from them (Luke 6:31; 1

Corinthians 13:7).

Second, be patient with them (1 Corinthians 13:4). It

will be hard. If it wasn’t hard at all, that would be just as

alarming. They are confronting a lot of thoughts, fears and

imaginings in their own heart that will be difficult to wres-

tle through. Again, this can make you feel judged, afraid of

being left, and trigger old feelings and fears. Love them by

giving them space and time to wrestle. Work against letting

the conversation become a me-versus-you conversation.

Don’t try to win a fight. Try to win your brother or sister in

Christ: “A gracious woman gets honor, and violent men get

riches” (Proverbs 11:16). Get honor.

Third, guard yourself from pushing the envelope physi-

cally in order to level the playing field—that is, to give

them a sexual past that you can hang over their head. This

is epitome of selfishness, and the height of sin’s deceit,

attempting to deal with your own guilt by drawing others’

into sin with you. Do not repay “anyone evil for evil, but

always seek to do good to one another” (1 Thessalonians

5:15). Don’t let the haze of shame or pain or insecurity

become the ground for walking into more sin.

“May God grant us, the guilty, mercy to receive his

good gifts as from a Father who loves us.”

Fourth, be sure that your past really is your past. Are

you still indulging daydreams about past sexual encoun-

ters? Are you justifying flirtatious encounters with other

women while courting your current partner—favoriting on

Twitter, messaging on Facebook, intentionally going to

their favorite coffee shop? If so, the woman you’re dating

has every right to the uncertainty and insecurity she’s ex-

pressing.

You don’t have to be perfect to date. Perfection is not a

qualification for love. But integrity is. Make sure that you

are experiencing real victory and progress in your personal

purity before you begin dating and try to have these diffi-

cult conversations with someone. Duplicity at the outset or

foundation of a marriage is a road to destruction: “The in-

tegrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of

the treacherous destroys them” (Proverbs 11:3).

Fifth, pray for your partner (1 Timothy 2:8)—that God

would give them gracious words to say (Luke 4:22), that

God would give them a sober understanding of their own

sin (1 Timothy 1:15; 1 John 1:10), and that the love be-

tween a brother and sister in Christ would be strengthened

and more deeply glorifying to God (2 Thessalonians 1:3).

Love Without Expectation of Return

At the end of the day, the person you’re dating may not

be able to handle your sexual history. They may walk

away, and that would be perfectly within their Christian

freedom. You could pout and ponder their shortcomings,

but the cold concrete reality is simply this: You are facing

the real-time consequences of your past sins. God is not

judging you. He is not implementing a law of karma in

your case. David Powlison puts it well: “God builds reap-

what-you-sow into the inner workings of how He runs His

universe” (Innocent Pleasures).

You’re going to be OK. It hurts badly. But God walks

us through things like this for our good. If he allowed us to

be twisted without repercussions, we would all have spiri-

tual nerve damage—getting burned and bruised because we

can never feel the pain of dangerous choices. Against all

the awful things we might feel about ourselves, God gives

us three things when we are rejected because of sexual

history. He gives us honor, healing and hope.

He gives us honor, because we choose to love out of the

love that we have received, and not for selfish gain. “For if

you love those who love you, what reward do you have?

Do not even the tax collectors do the same?” (Matthew

5:46) To love without reciprocation is to feel the pangs of

SEXUAL PAST - CONTINUED ON PG 11

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Page 10: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

INSIGHT

T here's a lot of information on the

web today written by well-meaning

teachers which implies that failure

is something bad but you just have

to find a way to accept it and deal

with it. A lot of people who claim to

have your best interests at heart will

often say life is hard and you just

have to accept it. None of these ideas are fundamental truth

and if you've resigned yourself to accept them as such then

it's highly unlikely that you'll get a chance to create an ef-

fortlessly thriving lifestyle even with all the modern oppor-

tunities that have now opened up. To break this old and

ignorant view of life, permit me to share with you what

experience and the keen study of the laws of mind have

taught me.

Firstly, life is goodness and it is full of wonder, abun-

dance and joy that is only awaiting your recognition. You

are more than just a physical human being and you're cer-

tainly not out of your mind. You are individualized spirit

eternal, magnificent, full of greatness and infinitely abun-

dant. You came into this physical body already rich beyond

measure but, the quality of life you get to experience in this

life you've been gifted with is very much determined by the

idea and belief about life that your mind holds as truth. So

while fundamental truth shows you are already rich, intelli-

gent, successful and so on, your perceptual truth is what

will become your daily reality whether it matches funda-

mental truth or not.

The work you have while on this human journey is to

make sure that you align your personality - little mind with

the universal mind. That you align your personality with

your soul's purpose because living from that perspective

allows your mind to expand and hold a bigger vision - a

bigger cup that allows more of the living spirit to flow and

express in bigger, better, bolder and more beautiful ways.

Where does failure come in?

Well, failure is only feedback letting you know that you

are deviating from the success path that is naturally yours.

It's a spiritual alarm clock that is meant to wake you up.

When someone calls you and the phone rings and vibrate,

do you sit there staring at it feeling sorry for yourself? Of

course not! You know that it's a signal you need to respond

to if you wish to receive the message that is being transmit-

ted to you on the other line. Although this is a trivial exam-

ple, it's not too far from how I want you to start looking at

any seeming failure. You need to take it as a signal that's

either helping you gain more clarity about what you really

want or it's helping you figure out the real and true path

that will lead you where you wish to be. There is nothing

big about failure, and it's totally unnecessary that we tend

to blow it out of proportion and use it to make life appear

negative, unjust or hard.

In our dualistic world, failure is in perfect harmony but

we need to recognize it for what it really is otherwise we

make it our worst enemy by giving it power that does not

belong to it. So take your feedback, see it for what it is and

learn the truth about life and yourself. The misunderstand-

ing of failure, much like that of being grateful for every-

thing in your life needs to be cleared up before clarity and

freedom can set in. Anyone who tells you to be happy

about failure or to give thanks for actual evils in your life is

still asleep and misses the whole teaching. You cannot feel

good about something bad. You cannot feel good about

being a looser or failure. Your mind just wouldn't accept it!

And so of course there has to be a deeper meaning when

we speak about being grateful at all times for everything.

This deeper meaning and understanding is what you need

to touch and internalize. When you do Psychology Arti-

cles, you'll finally start to see why success is all there is

and what failure really means in your life. ■

What Failure Really Means For Your

Success And Purpose In Life

10 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 11: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

I read an article about how to ob-tain wealth and happiness and I feel like it was completely on point. We have all heard the saying “ do what you love and you will never work another day”. The article pointed

out that loving what you do not necessarily doing what you love is the key. You may say what’s the difference. You may do something that you love but you may not do it well and there may not be a market for that skill or hobby. Loving what you do means, whatever you are skillful at and something that you are currently getting paid to do can have a greater yield if you love it. One of the keys to making money from home is to bring love to something you are currently get-ting paid to do that you can do from home. As believers bringing love to what we do is a prac-tice of our faith. 1 Corinthians 10:31 sums it up. We are to do it all to the Glory of God. Finding that skill set and bringing the love of God to it allows us to do things in a certain way. Bring-ing all power to what we do guarantees that we will be successful. When people start saying you were born to do something it’s because you are bringing the love of God to what you do. Like us on facebook at www.facebook.com/4riversofeden Get the inside information by texting the word “ increase” to 90407 Let’s keep the conversation going.

11

YOUR SEXUAL PAST CONTINUED FROM PAGE 9

Jesus whom we rejected. To trust God enough to love

and not be loved in return is to be counted with Christ,

and there is honor in that kind of faith.

God gives us healing, because he does his best work

in brokenness. At any moment, God can weed out thorns

of impurity that choke the life within you: “For this is

the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain

from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3–5). God

is doing that in you (Philippians 2:12–13). When you

ask, “What is God up to in my life? Why is he ripping

this relationship away from me?” The answer is clear.

He is healing you and cleansing you. He has not placed

a verdict of lifelong guilt on you. No condemnation

(Romans 8:1). For now, and just for now, he is simply

(and painfully) healing you.

He gives us hope because, with each new day, God

charges himself with our care: “Therefore let those who

suffer according to God’s will entrust their souls to a

faithful Creator while doing good” (1 Peter 4:19). No

mourning is outside the scope of God’s good plan for

you. If you get married, it is by the hand of the same

God who called you from the kingdom of darkness to

the kingdom of light. If you get married, it is by the

same kind of decree that created the universe. If it’s

God’s will for you to be married, then you are on an

unstoppable crash course for marriage. And if you’re

rejected by another person, that, too, is within God’s

loving and merciful will for you.

Trust God today, and recognize that because he cre-

ated time, that time is on your side. If you are rejected

because of your sexual history, trust that it is not some

arbitrary wound, but that it is a cog in God’s very or-

derly and detailed plan for your joy-filled life. May God

grant us, the guilty, mercy to receive his good gifts as

from a Father who loves us. ■

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Page 12: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

E veryone has heard of wills and

trusts. Most articles written on

these topics, however, often pre-

sume that everyone knows the

basics of these important docu-

ments. But, in reality, many of us don’t – and

with good reason – as they’re rooted in compli-

cated, centuries-old law.

Let’s face it, if you’re not an estate planning

attorney, these concepts tend to remain merely

that – concepts. So, if you’re “fuzzy” about

wills and trusts, know that you are not alone.

After we show you the difference between

these two documents, we’ll tell you why a trust

is the better choice.

Wills vs. Trusts: Defined

Let’s take a minute and define both “will” and

“trust”:

Will. A will is a written document that is

signed and witnessed. A will is considered a

"death" document as it only goes into effect

when you die.

A will:

provides for the distribution of assets owned

by you, but not assets directed to others

through beneficiary designations (e.g. life insurance or

retirement benefits)

sends assets in your individual name or payable to your

estate through the probate process

allows you to appoint permanent guardians for your mi-

nor children

names the person you wish to settle your estate (e.g. ex-

ecutor or personal representative)

doesn’t always include protective trusts for beneficiaries

and tax planning because many wills are simple 2-3 page

documents

permits you to revoke or amend your instructions during

your lifetime

tends to cost less than a trust on the outset but costs more

to settle during court proceedings after death

Trust. A trust is a legal document, signed and witnessed,

and effective during your lifetime, during any period of

disability, and after death. Because the trust is effective dur-

ing your lifetime and you can change it, it’s referred to as a

"living" document.

A trust:

has lifetime benefits

provides for the distribution of your assets

avoids probate if fully funded

provides for a successor trustee upon your death or inca-

pacity

allows for the management of

your property – even if you’re inca-

pacitated

can address appointing disability

guardians for minor children

often includes protective trusts for

beneficiaries and tax planning

permits you to revoke or amend

your wishes during your lifetime

costs more than a simple will on

the outset but much less upon ad-

ministration, while typically provid-

ing significantly more value

The Probate Process: A Key Ele-

ment in Deciding Between a Will

and Trust

One key element in deciding be-

tween a will and a trust is under-

standing the probate process. The

term “probate” – which literally

means “proving” – refers to the

process wherein a decedent's will

must be authenticated, outstanding

legitimate debts paid, and assets

transferred to the beneficiaries.

The downside is that probate can take a long time - even

years - it’s expensive in many places and the entire process

is completely public, meaning your nosey neighbor Nancy

and evil predator Paul both know exactly who got what and

how to contact them. In virtually all cases, the only upside

of probate is that creditor claims are cut off.

Probate Guaranteed. If you use a will as your primary

estate planning tool, you own property in your individual

name, or property is made payable to your estate, probate

is guaranteed.

Probate Avoided. If you use a trust as your estate plan-

ning tool, probate is avoided - saving your family time

and money.

The Bottom Line on Wills vs. Trusts

HOW TO DECIDE: As everyone’s situation is different,

it’s important to analyze every aspect of your situation –

and what the future may hold – so that you can determine

what’s right for you and whether probate avoidance, inca-

pacity planning, and trust protections have value to you and

those you love. Most people receive the greatest overall

benefit from having a trust.

ACT NOW: Without an estate plan in place, you and your

family are left completely unprotected. Will or trust, get the

advice of a estate planning attorney, pick one, and do it

now! ■

Debra Ragin Jessup Estate Planning Attorney

Jessup & Probst

301 North Main Street, Suite 2222

Winston-Salem, NC 27101

Telephone: 336-721-9090

[email protected]

Wills vs. Trusts:

What’s The Difference?

ESTATE PLANNING

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13

INSIGHT

T he word repent is one that

doesn’t sit too well with many

people around the world. What

is intended to be a gift and

opportunity to encounter the

grace of God has now become

something individuals cringe

at when hearing. I blame those

wielding bullhorns and picket

signs for the mess that has

become of repentance. And while this liturgical ex-

perience may have a bad reputation due to the idi-

otic actions of others, we must understand that

repentance itself one of the most vital parts of

the Christian faith. Without it, a relationship

with God isn’t possible.

Repentance is all about turning away from

our fleshly desires, and instead clinging to the

beauty and supremacy of God’s will. There is

nothing to be ashamed about in admitting you’ve

messed up. Repentance bridges the gap between our

failures and God’s forgiveness. That’s the beauty. It’s the

gateway to new life and an unrelenting relationship with

God.

You and I must stop viewing repentance as a burden-

some I have to, and instead realize it’s an undeserved I get

to. We must understand how lucky we are to have a loving

God who gives us the opportunity to admit our failures and

choose to turn away from our selfish ways. Repentance is a

gift not a burden. There is an unfathomable liturgical ex-

perience when one finds the humility to turn from their

ways and seek forgiveness in the grace of God.

The basic definition of repentance is: to turn away from

something or change your mind. Nothing more and nothing

less. Repentance is all about seeking forgiveness for the

mistakes and downfalls we’ve found ourselves in the mid-

dle of. When we repent, we are telling God we put his

will above our own.

Repentance itself was never meant to be pro-

moted in a way of fear-mongering and

hate, but instead of love and excitement

for the life and grace that God brings

when we decide to turn away from our

selfish ways (Acts 3:19).

“Repentance grows as faith grows. Do not

make any mistake about it; repentance is

not a thing of days and weeks, a temporary

penance to be got over as fast as possible! No; it

is the grace of a lifetime, like faith itself. God’s little chil-

dren repent, and so do the young men and the fathers. Re-

pentance is the inseparable companion of faith.” —Charles

Spurgeon

Let’s take a moment to renew the way we see repen-

tance. ■

Christianity Without Repentance Isn’t Christianity By Jarrid Wilson

REPENTANCE What is intended to be a gift has become something Christians cringe at when hearing.

Repentance is

all about

turning away

from our fleshly

desires...

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Page 14: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

The controversy continues with women in ministry, but

not to the same degree as in the past. If you have paid atten-

tion, you see plenty of women pastors, ministers, blogs and

websites. Women all over are promoting their ministries,

myself included.

The verse above is one that is

quoted often, mostly by men, to

make their stand against women

in ministry.

But what does the scripture

say? I will share with you what I

have learned, by a man in the

highest ministry position.

The word says that God has

made the husband the head of the

wife, not the man the head of the

woman. The words man and

woman in the Greek are the same

words used for husband and wife

and may be translated either way.

Therefore, when a woman asserts

any kind of ministry or authority

in the presence of her husband,

she does it under his authority and

permission."

I have seen marriages where the

woman has a far greater ministry potential than her hus-

band, and the husband may feel threatened and unsure of

himself, and does not allow his wife to minister. The bottom

line is, who suffers when this happens? The Body of Christ.

When a woman exercises her spiritual authority, she is

functioning under her husbands' covering and protection.

If a woman is not yet married, that covering and protec-

tion should come from her pastor or spiritual father. In

either case, the man has the final authority, and if the

woman ministers under him, she does it under his

authority.

We also need to read between the lines. Paul states "I do

not permit" He does not say, "God does not permit." This

was his personal stance on the issue, and as a spiritual father

over the churches, he had authority to do so.

We also need to understand when God places a calling on

someone, he is not looking for a

man or a woman to do the job.

God is looking for willing vessels.

When it comes to receiving gifts

of the Spirit, there is no gender

involved. God does not call men

pastors, women prophets, men

evangelists and so forth.

When I minister, I do not see

myself as a woman. I see myself

as a willing vessel, carrying out

what the Lord has called me to

do, under His anointing. Many

women see themselves foremost

as women. I believe that by doing

this, they limit themselves. If

women see themselves as ap-

pointed by God, willing vessels,

then the possibilities are endless.

As I minister, I have the pro-

tection and covering of my hus-

band. I am under his authority, and I have full permission to

minister.

But what does a woman do when confronted by a man

with the verse quoted above? First, she has to be sure of

herself and have a strong conviction in her call-

ing. Second, have him take it up with her

husband, pastor or spiritual father. God

calls and uses willing vessels, even a don-

key. Remember, He is no respecter of

persons. ■

Women in Ministry by Yvette Nietzen

1 Timothy 2:11-14 Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have au-

thority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman

being deceived, fell into transgression.

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POLITICAL

15

A re we building a nation after God?

Christians are starting to ask this

very question. Listening to the presi-

dential debate for the 2016 elections

has us wondering what happened to

the American Christian dream. This

country was built on a Godly foun-

dation, hints to the "In God we

trust" labeled on our mighty dollar.

We believe that many of our goals

and ambitions would be fulfilled if we have a leader after God's own heart.

As Christians, we go to leaders of our church when we need pastoral

counseling, when we need someone who will make us accountable for

our decision-making. As we know, election time is coming around

and like most people feeling indecisive, we know one thing, if we

look at the candidates in the running, we should look for essential

godly characteristics. We should also ask ourselves who will

lead this country to success and its people to Christ? The

scriptures tells a story about two men, David and Goliath in

1 Samuel 17 (KJV). The bible describes Goliath as a

champion. It then goes on to say that he was full of

strength. "He had a helmet of brass and he was armed

with a coat of mail," but oh, here comes David, the son of Ephrathite who

took care of his father's sheep, had the utmost respect for his dad and did

not do as everyone else did out of fear for Goliath--the philistines. He

knew about the challenges he would face battling against the big and strong

Goliath but David was a man of God. Who could "killeth" such a man. A

leader who represents Christ shall never be defeated! When David told his peo-

ple-Israel of his plan, no one believed in him; in fact, they told him that he was

too young and that Goliath had been fighting since youth. David said, "The Lord

that delivered him out of the paw of the lion and out of the paw of the bear,

would also deliver him from the hands of the philistines. When it was time for

battle, David took off Saul's armor, took Goliath's own sword and cut off his

head, and the philistines ran. You see, he trusted in the God who rescued him

time and time and time again. We as Christians need to trust in the Most High

God when it comes to our leaders. We cannot vote simply because it is the right

thing to do as an American. If we don't see a leader who will represent this

country as "David" represented Israel, what's the point in voting? Christians

should not be persuaded to choose someone that comes close to the mark on

Christian values. If the future president believes that we should all unite and

have one big religion, women should have the right to choose between life and

death, gay marriage is a marital union, cheating the system is not wrong if you

are trying to make things a little better, poverty and high unemployment must

exist, and racism is an issue but if kept hidden, no one will notice, we should

question their character and use sound judgment before we vote for this person.

Proverbs 29: 2 (KJV) touches on leadership, it states: "When the righteous are

in authority, the people rejoice: But when the wicked beareth rule, the people

groan." So I ask you, before you make the decision to go to the polls and vote

for a leader who will represent this country, what are you voting for? Do not go

against your core beliefs because you are afraid of how you will be perceived by

the world. As Christians, we should not stand for worldly views but we should

stand for the things that are right and true. If you want to vote but are constantly

questioning both candidates' moral and religious beliefs, are they worth voting

for? I would rather vote for a man of God then vote for a man of this world. ■

A President

after Gods

own heart by Vallyn Fleming

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Page 16: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

COVER STORY

Pastor Curtis Friday

(affectionately known as Pas-

tor Curt) is a man of God who

stands on the word of God.

Born in Winston-Salem but

quickly moved to the projects

of Baltimore Maryland, Pastor

Curt was exposed to life on the

streets. Having parents who

were not married and who had

struggles of addiction, he and

his brothers were moved back

to Winston Salem. Separated

from his brothers Pastor Curt

moved around with his dad’s

family until his mom was able

to get back on her feet. She

made the best decision for her

boys and moved on the north

side of Winston Salem where

Pastor Curt was introduced to

Holy Trinity Full Gospel Bap-

tist Church. Although he got

involved in the ministry and

made personal connections, the streets would draw him

back. Having a love of music Pastor Curt began rapping

with a group all around the city and indulging in illicit be-

havior such as recreational drugs and sex. After two trips to

jail and facing a 30 year sentence, Pastor Curt decided it

was time to stop fighting and submit to Gods call. In 2004

he truly gave his life to The Lord and returned back to

HTFGBC. Shortly after, he put his sights on one of the

young ladies of the church he had previously in his teen

years attempted to woo….

Lady Shameka Friday was born and raised in Winston

Salem to a 15 year old mother and a 16 year old father who

at the time didn’t want to accept her. Having a big loving

family she almost didn’t realize that piece that was missing

in her life. Due to her mom’s young age and determination

to make a home for her, at the age of 7 Lady Friday went to

live with a surrogate grandfather and his family for a year

while her mom established herself for the two of them. It

was then she was introduced

to Christ and HTFGBC.

Learning so much and loving

the ministry, she requested

her mom take her to church

even once she went back to

live with her. Around the age

of 12, her witness rubbed off

on her mom who then gave

her life to Christ and joined

the ministry. She continued

to develop as a young lady

for Christ determined to fol-

low God and the ordinances

of the church. She gained a

strong foundation in Christ

that kept her through some of

the hardest relational years of

high school and college after

having fallen to curiosity and

temptation at the age of 13.

Unwavering in her desire to

have a man after God’s heart

she maintained her vow.

After one Sunday evening service she was approached by

Pastor Curt and after a few months of developing a solid

friendship the two began to date. And on April 1st, 2016

they celebrate 10 years of marriage!

After separating from their home church in 2009, the two

were determined to move forward together exploring Gods

desire for their lives. And after a brief membership at an-

other local church Pastor Curt felt a tug from The Lord.

He felt the pastoral call to reach the unchurched and hurt-

ing by showing them the love of God he experiences daily.

Young or old, the word “For God so LOVED the world,

that He gave…” has no boundaries. After writing the vi-

sion and sharing it with his wife the two set out on a mis-

sion. In December of 2010 Pastor Curt reached out to Pas-

tor Mike McClure Jr of The Rock Church in Birmingham,

AL who he had admired from afar. Spending New Years

weekend talking with Pastor Mike who opened his heart to

this couple, they soaked in all the knowledge of starting a

Who is Pastor Curtis Friday

and Lady Shameka Friday and where did this Love Church come from?

Pastor Curtis Friday

and Lady Shameka Friday

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17

church from nothing. Spending their whole ride home

making plans of how to make this dream a reality, Pastor &

Lady spent the next week in prayer. On January 9, 2011

they hosted a vision meeting in their home with five

friends and on January 16th,

2011 The Love Church was

formed. Spending a few weeks

in their home the group wor-

shipped, planned, and was im-

parted with vision and bible

from Pastor Curt. Soon after

the couple took the team to Bir-

mingham to experience what

they had been exposed to. And

encouraged by Pastor Mike,

Pastor & Lady Friday went to their first Gathering of The

Shepherds Pastor and Leaders conference in March 2011

hosted by Dr. R.A. & Lady Victory Vernon and The Word

Church in Cleveland, OH. After a year of interaction and

additional trips to Cleveland, The Vernon’s would become

spiritual parents to Pastor & Lady Friday.

The Love Church has since welcomed over 500 in mem-

bership and has outgrown its three previous locations.

With God at the core, he and his wife, along with the 17

faithful leaders and over 75 ministry servants, has built the

ministry on the basis of being real, relevant, and relational.

They find pleasure in every opportunity to reach in and

bless the members of TLC as well as reach out and bless

the community. Holding dear to a quote Pastor Curt

learned from his spiritual father that “people don’t

care how much you know til they know how much

you care,” the church treasures the moments they are

able to give back such as yearly turkey giveaways,

periodic homeless shelter feedings and donations of

basic necessities, $5,000 gas giveaway, and even

blessing a member with a car. Just this past Easter

the church raided two grocery stores in the area &

blessed shoppers by paying their bill equaling

$5,000 in total giving. The church is determined to

use their resources to bring Matthew 25 ALIVE as

they understand that God chose them for such a time as this

and as they say it “WiiGET TO SERVE!!”

Pastor Curt personally thanks every person that has ever

graced the doors of TLC, said a prayer, or sowed a seed.

While enthused to serve as the Senior Pastor of TLC, he

honors the privilege to serve as husband and father to his

wife and daughter Lateria Potter. He understands that

ministry starts at home!

TLC Community Give-away!

Being one of our 6 mantra’s

of TLC and the 2nd of our

Bedrock principles, WiiGIVE

rings loud from the church

each Easter and throughout

the year.

In light of Easter, and the

representation that Jesus

GAVE His life for us, on

Good Friday April 3, 2015

TLC took over the Wake Mart

gas station, near the church,

on the corner of Cherry Street

and Polo Road for a few hours

to GIVE away $5,000 in free

gas. Members of the church

were stationed at every pump

as cars rolled in from the

cherry street entrance. Each

car received $20 in gas and

window washing.

Along with the gas GIVE

away, the church surprised a

member of their congregation

with a Suzuki Vitara Cross-

over. She is a faithful single

mother in the congregation

who fell on hard times when

her car broke down in 2014.

Despite her lack of transporta-

CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE ►

Wake Mart Gas Station, site of the

Gas Give-A-Way.

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THE LOVE CHURCH

COMMUNITY GIVE-A-WAY ◄ CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS PAGE

tion she still made it

her mission to come

to the church during

the week for janitor-

ial services as well

as attend all ser-

vices.

This year the

church did some-

thing a little differ-

ent. Pastor and

Lady Friday along

with some of the

church leadership

team went out to

Food Lion grocery

stores blessing ran-

dom shoppers by

paying their grocery

bill. Nearly $4,000

was given away at

three different

stores. Along with

meeting the physical need, team members also took the

opportunity to witness the love of Christ to shoppers, en-

couraging them that our Lord & Savior is watching over

them and watching out for them and just like He made a

way for their grocery bill to be paid, He can do the same in

EVERY area of their lives.

TLC believes that as Christians and as a church, we

should strive to be like God and the word says “For God so

LOVED the world that He GAVE….” Pastor & Lady Fri-

day is so grateful for all the members of the church that

give because it’s every $1 of tithes and seed that allow the

church to give back. The Love Church is determined to be

a church known for loving and giving to our community to

bring Matthew 25 Alive!!! ■

▲►Suzuki Vitara Crossover given to a faithful member from The Love Church. ▼The Love Church pays for

groceri

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MEET THE PASTOR

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20 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Q – Should Christians VOTE?

A – ABSOLUTELY! Christians should

vote for leaders in government. It is our

right as citizens of this country and we

should execute that right. We do know

and understand that God is certainly in

control, but that does not mean we should

do nothing to further His will. We are

instructed to pray for our leaders (1 Timo-

thy 2:1-4). Concerning politics and lead-

ership, there is nothing wrong with Chris-

tians being aware and knowledgeable of

politicians who govern our country (i.e.,

counties, cities, towns, states, etc.). However, there is

indication in the Holy Writ that God has been displeased

with our choices of leadership at times (Hosea 8:4).

Sin’s grip on this world and its degradation in the world

is evident everywhere. A great deal of the sufferings

and struggles on earth is because of godless leadership

(Proverbs 28:12). As Christians, we are commanded to

obey legitimate authority unless it contradicts the Lord’s

commands (Acts 5:27-29; Romans 13:1-7). Again,

Christians should vote as led through prayer and study

of both God’s Word and the realities of the choices on

the ballot. I encourage everyone to pray and even fast

seeking the God on the vote you will cast this year. Do

not be discouraged by the long lines! Please make it to

the polls on November 8, 2016 to cast your ballot. For

information see 1 Samuel 12:13-25;

Proverbs 14:34.

Q – How to reach young people – The

Millennials?

A – The Great Commission, try it! It

really works! In Matthew 28:18-20, there

are four things Jesus requires: 1.) Send-

ing, 2.) Training, 3.) Preaching and

Teaching, and 4.) Reaching the World.

The difference between young people

and momma and grandma is technology.

Young people are centered around cell

phones and social media. In other words, use what they

(young people) normally do to reach the young people. I

know you may be saying, “Bishop, I’m too old to text

and I do not do Facebook.” If you want to reach young

people, this is where they are. Become knowledgeable

of and familiar with the various sites via social media

(i.e., Facebook, Twitter, Periscope, Instagram, Web-ex,

Youtube, etc.) In short, meet the young people where

they are. Take Jesus and the Church to them. You may

ask, “Bishop, where are they?” Facebook, Twitter, Peri-

scope, Instagram, Web-ex, Youtube, Mailchimp, Devo-

hub, etc. All the above and I know some of these sites

seem to be misspelled but this is where your young peo-

ple are. This is just a reality, face it! ■

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COMMUNITY

“At the same time, praying for the salvation of our ene-

mies, even those committing the most horrific of crimes, is

not a call to stop praying for justice against them.”

A pastor friend told me last week that he had church

members enraged with him when he suggested from the

pulpit that we ought to pray for the salvation of Islamic

State terrorists. The people in his church told him that he

ought to be calling for justice against them, given their

brutal murder of Christians, not for mercy.

I thought about my friend a few days ago when these

murderous fiends beheaded 21 of our brothers and sisters

in Christ because they refused to renounce the name of

Jesus. I was not just angry; I was furious. Can such fury co

-exist, though, with the Sermon on the Mount (Mat.

5-7)? When we pray about such evil, how should

we pray?

The complexity of the Christian calling in

the world was seen even in social media. One

friend of mine posted that the slaughter of

Christians overseas calls for the world’s only

remaining superpower to take action. Another

said, quoting singer Toby Keith, that it was

time to “light up their world like the Fourth of

July.” To that, I say, “Amen.” Another friend, a

former student of mine, posted, “Oh, that there might be an

ISIS Saul standing there now, holding the cloaks, whose

salvation might turn the Arab world upside down with the

gospel!” To that I say “Amen,” too.

These are not contradictory prayers.

Jesus says to love our enemies and to pray for those who

persecute us (Mat. 5:44). The Spirit of Jesus in the proph-

ets and in the apostles also tells us that those who turn a

blind eye to the killing of others are wrong. The fact that

we feel contradictory praying both for justice against the

Islamic State and for salvation for Islamic State terrorists is

partly because we fail to distinguish between the mission

of the state in the use of the temporal sword against evildo-

ers (Rom. 13:4) and the mission of the church in the use of

the sword of the Spirit against sin and death and the devil

(Eph. 6). But that’s not, I think, the main problem.

The main problem is that we sometimes forget that we

are called to be a people of both justice and justification,

and that these two are not contradictory.

It sounds awfully spiritual, at first blush, to say that we

should not pray for the defeat of our enemies on the field

of battle. But that’s only the case if these enemies are not

actually doing anything. This terrorist group is raping, en-

slaving, beheading, and crucifying our brothers and sisters

in Christ, as well as other innocent people. To not pray for

swift action against them is to not care about what Jesus

said we should seek, what we should hunger and thirst for,

for justice. A world in which murderous gangs commit

genocide without penalty is not a “merciful” world but an

unjust horror show.

As Christians, we ought to be, above all people, con-

cerned with such justice. We not only have the common

grace standing of caring about stopping murder and injus-

tice, rooted in the image of God and the law written on the

heart, we also have the personal implication here. It’s our

household being wiped out in the Middle East, the very

place where our church started. For us, this isn’t a matter of

“they”; it’s a matter of “us.”

At the same time, praying for the salvation of our ene-

mies, even those committing the most horrific of

crimes, is not a call to stop praying for justice

against them. The cross, after all, is not for-

giveness in a contemporary therapeutic

sense—in which one is merely absolved of

wrongdoing as though it were all a misunder-

standing. No, that’s precisely the Apostle

Paul’s point in the Book of Romans.

The gospel does not say, “Don’t’ worry about

it; it’s OK.” The gospel points us to the cross

where sin is absorbed in a substitute. God’s right-

eous condemnation of sin is there. He does not, and cannot,

enable wickedness. And God’s mercy is there in that he is

the One who sends his Son as the propitiation for sin. He is

both “just and the justifier of the One who has faith in Je-

sus” (Rom. 3:26). The gospel doesn’t leave sin unpunished.

Every sin is punished, either at the Place of the Skull, in

Christ, or in the judgment of hell, on one’s own.

The thief on the cross—a Middle Eastern terrorist by

Rome’s standards—in his act of faith did not believe that

his salvation exempted him from justice. He confessed that

his sentence was just, and that he was receiving “the due

reward for our deeds” (Lk. 23:41), even as he cried out to

Jesus for merciful entrance into the kingdom of Christ (Lk.

23:42).

We ought, indeed, to pray for the gospel to go forward,

and that there might be a new Saul of Tarsus turned away

from murdering to gospel witness. At the same time, we

ought to pray, with the martyrs in heaven, for justice

against those who do such wickedness. Praying for the

military defeat of our enemies, and that they might turn to

Christ, these are not contradictory prayers because salva-

tion doesn’t mean turning an eye away from justice. We

can pray for gospel rootedness in the Middle East, and we

can pray to light up their world like the Fourth of July, at

the same time.

We are, after all, the people of the cross. ■

Should We Pray for the Defeat of ISIS

or Their Conversion? By Russell Moore

22 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 23: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

COVER STORY

As Christians, we must see being single as

more than just a phase to get through while

waiting for "real life" to begin.

When I left Unit with a good degree but no

job, I followed the promptings of that “still,

small voice” and became a teacher on a mis-

sionary ship sailing around the Caribbean and

Central and North America.

It was a two-year commitment, and I had a

great time, made some lifelong friends, saw

some amazing sights and generally had a great

sort of double gap year.

Toward the end of my commitment, I was

recruited to join a music ministry in the same

missions’ agency (OM). I worked with them

first in London then in Atlanta, Ga., being ef-

fectively a tour manager for a Christian band.

We traveled extensively in the U.S. and Europe,

and also did tours in Canada, South Africa,

Australia and Turkey.

I loved it. I was totally in my element: lov-

ing my work, loving my boss, loving the team,

loving the travel, loving the new friends I made

around the world. It was so much fun, and all

for a great purpose, which made it even more

worthwhile.

I did it for eight years.

And somewhere in the middle of it all, I

suddenly realized something: I was still treating

it like a gap year. I was thinking of it as the

thing I was doing before my life really started.

The life where I was married, living in Eng-

land, paying the mortgage on a nice little house

in a suburb somewhere, taking care of our 2.4

kids. My real life. The life I had always ex-

pected and wanted.

I realized that because I thought this wasn’t

really it, I was letting it pass me by and not

really making the most of it or engaging prop-

erly with it. Everywhere I went, everything I

did, I did like a tourist. I absorbed the experi-

ence without letting it touch my life—and with-

out my life touching it.

Why am I telling you this? Because I think

our cultural attitude to singleness—particularly

within the Church—is similar to my attitude to

my life in OM: It’s fun, but it’s not the real

thing. It’s the phase you have to get through

while waiting for your real life to start.

Sorry, but I have news for you: This is your

real life. You need to start living it.

When I pitched a post on singleness to

Danny Webster for his blog, I was going to call

it “Waiting Well.” I was going to talk about

how, while you are single, you should not be

consumed by the desire for a relationship, be-

cause that can easily slip into idolatry, seeking

a mate with all your heart instead of seeking

God. I was going to advise you to focus on be-

coming the person God is calling you to be, not

only because it is the most satisfying path and a

generally good thing to do but also because

when you do meet that special someone, you’ll

have something genuine to bring to the relation-

ship. This is all still true and worth mentioning.

I was also going to say the best thing you

can do is to love the Lord your God with all

your heart, soul, mind and strength, and love

your neighbor as yourself. This is always worth

repeating.

As I thought about it though, I felt my em-

phasis was wrong. Calling the post “Waiting

Well” implies a preparation phase before the

real thing, and that’s how many sermons on the

subject tend to approach it, but that is not a

helpful mindset. Marriage is not the thing that

will ultimately fulfill you. It is wonderful, and I

look forward to mine, in faith that God will

keep a promise made long ago, but your wed-

ding day is neither the end of your story (as

Hollywood tells us) nor the beginning of it.

It is a transition, sure; a major scene-change,

the start of a new act with new characters and

new scenarios, but the months or years of sin-

gleness before it aren’t prelude. They are not

the bit where the orchestra warms up; playing

notes and scales you don’t really have to listen

to before the real thing starts. They are the real

thing.

If your perception is this is just a phase you

have to get through, marking time before the

real thing starts, you won’t engage with it prop-

erly and are liable to wake up one day, as I did

in Atlanta, and realize life has drifted by.

If you are single, you are living in God’s

best for you right now. You’re not missing his

will for your life. You’re not in the second-best

role. You aren’t waiting for his plan to start;

this is it, it’s started.

Embrace it. Enjoy it. Stop waiting and start

living.

What are you going to do with the time God

has given you? ■

Why Singleness is More

than Waiting for Marriage By Jennie Pollock

23 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 24: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

Steve Harvey delivered a powerful message about

faith on his morning radio show–pleading with his

listeners to stop putting their faith in people and start

putting their faith in God.

This 3-minute segment is a bold reminder to anchor

our hearts in Christ, not circumstances, people or ma-

terial things. Only God can guide us through life’s

struggles.

(Steve Harvey is a television and radio host, come-

dian and actor. You can find him on ‘The Steve Har-

vey Morning Show,’ ‘Steve Harvey’ the talk show and

‘Family Feud.’)

The following is a full transcript of Harvey’s mes-

sage:

“Man, if I could tell you anything this morning, it’s

to stop putting your faith in people, and put your faith

in God where it counts the most. I mean, you can get

something out of this one.

“See, here’s the deal about a relationship with God.

It’s the same all the time. He never changes. His word

is 100 percent absolute. His word doesn’t have loop-

holes in it. None of that. This is what it is. He’s very

clear.

“Now, you can deviate off your end of the bargain,

but it don’t stop what He says from being true. But if

He asks you to do something, if God asks you to be a

certain way, to do a little something a certain way and

you don’t do it that way, then, you know, you could

still possibly get by for a while, but don’t you under-

stand that His end of the deal stays the same? And as

long as you’re not doing it the way you’re supposed to

the results are not going to be what you want it to be.

“And I did this for years and years and years. And I

counted on people. I got myself in a lot of situations,

and I got out of one at just the end of last year, a dire

situation that I had been in for a number of years. But

He had protected me for years prior to that. I didn’t

even know what was going on. Then He made me

aware of the problem in 2008, and then man – Lord

have mercy – I was in a dismal situation. And then, at

the end of the year, I was free, free from it all. But it

was a decision that I had made that led up to that.

“In going through that process I had to learn some-

thing, man. I learned a lot about people.

“See, if you want to learn about your friends, if you

want to learn about your people, people around you,

get yourself in some trouble. Get yourself in a situa-

tion. Oh man, you start looking around, man. The field

get real clear when you in trouble. The field clears out

when you in doubt, when you don’t know what to do,

when you need help. It get real clear on the playing

field then don’t it?

“Oh, but when things are going right, it’s time for a

party. We throwing a celebration. We going to do one

down here.

“Oh man, there’s plenty of people on the field, but

get yourself in a situation. You find out rather quickly

that oh no, oh no, everybody ain’t here, and that’s

when I started learning.

“I’m telling you. I had to start learning this for real

until I finally got it – to stop putting my faith in people

and put all of mine in God where it counts the most.

“Now, is that to say that there are people that you

can’t trust? No, that’s not what I’m saying. I ain’t say-

ing you can’t trust them. But you

can’t dump your faith in

them.

“I got it all riding on

what he say. I got it all

riding on what she say.

“No. No. Huh-uh. No. I

hear you saying it, but

I’m going to keep my eye

on this situation because I

hear you saying. But I’m

going to take this faith of

mine, and instead of putting

it in people, I’m going to

put it in God where

it counts the

most.”■

Gives a Powerful 3-Min Sermon About Trusting God–Not People

By Brian Orme

24 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 25: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

COMMUNITY

Russell Funeral Home, Inc. 822 Carl Russell Ave.

Winston-Salem, NC 27101

Phone: 336-722-3459

[email protected]

L osing your mother can be one of the most

difficult losses to deal with. We are going

to cover the 5 stages of grief over the next

few issues but for right now we will look

at the first two.

The five stages, denial, anger, bargaining, depres-

sion and acceptance are a part of the framework that

makes up our learning to live with the one we lost.

They are tools to help us frame and identify what we

may be feeling. But they are not stops on some linear

timeline in grief. Not everyone goes through all of

them or in a prescribed order. Our hope is that with

these stages comes the knowledge of grief ‘s terrain,

making us better equipped to cope with life and loss.

At times, people in grief will often report more stages.

Just remember your grief is an unique as you are.

DENIAL Denial is the first of the five stages of

grief. It helps us to survive the loss. In this stage, the

world becomes meaningless and overwhelming. Life

makes no sense. We are in a state of shock and denial.

We go numb. We wonder how we can go on, if we can

go on, why we should go on. We try to find a way to

simply get through each day. Denial and shock help us

to cope and make survival possible. Denial helps us to

pace our feelings of grief. There is a grace in denial. It

is nature’s way of letting in only as much as we can

handle. As you accept the reality of the loss and start

to ask yourself questions, you are unknowingly begin-

ning the healing process. You are becoming stronger,

and the denial is beginning to fade. But as you pro-

ceed, all the feelings you were denying begin to sur-

face.

ANGERAnger is a necessary stage of the healing

process. Be willing to feel your anger, even though it

may seem endless. The more you truly feel it, the more

it will begin to dissipate and the more you will heal.

There are many other emotions under the anger and

you will get to them in time, but anger is the emotion

we are most used to managing. The truth is that anger

has no limits. It can extend not only to your friends,

the doctors, your family, yourself and your loved one

who died, but also to God. You may ask, “Where is

God in this? Underneath anger is pain, your pain. It is

natural to feel deserted and abandoned, but we live in a

society that fears anger. Anger is strength and it can be

an anchor, giving temporary structure to the nothing-

ness of loss. At first grief feels like being lost at sea:

no connection to anything. Then you get angry at

someone, maybe a person who didn’t attend the fu-

neral, maybe a person who isn’t around, maybe a per-

son who is different now that your loved one has died.

Suddenly you have a structure – – your anger toward

them. The anger becomes a bridge over the open sea, a

connection from you to them. It is something to hold

onto; and a connection made from the strength of an-

ger feels better than nothing.We usually know more

about suppressing anger than feeling it. The anger is

just another indication of the intensity of your love. ■

Losing Your

Mother

25 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 26: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

FIRST CLASS AIRPORT & SHUTTLE SERVICE There's a new TRANSPORT SHUTTLE service in

town called "FIRST CLASS". It's a Christian owned

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side of him. Our company’s mission is to provide

SAFE transport service to a small group of important

travelers on a "First Class", basis. Our customers will

travel in a twelve passenger luxury van to and from

their destinations. We offer all types of transports ser-

vices such as all North Carolina local airports, train &

bus stations. We offer day trips, wedding party trans-

ports, corporate company outings, winery tours, team

sports, individual transports and also couples night out.

The cost of all transport fares are negotiable. We also

provide round trip or one way shuttle to all destina-

tions. We hope you allow us to provide you with your

next safe transport shuttle need, Until then, "FIRST

CLASS", it's the only way to go!

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P.O. BOX 1447 | Clemmons, NC 27012

336 661-5790-P | 336 766-9207- F

[email protected]

Business Power Team

TRINITY STUDIOS ENTERPRISE INC

Roslyn Payne of Trinity Studios has been in operation

since 2000. We are a Christian owned and operated

business. We specialize in EVENT PHOTOGRA-

PHY. At Trinity Studios we believe our customers

needs are of the upmost importance. Our entire team is

committed to meeting those needs as we offer you our

products and services. As a result, a high percentage of

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Some of our services we provide are weddings, family

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We would love the opportunity to earn your trust and

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[email protected]

WWW.TRINITYSTUDIOSRLP.COM -WEBSITE

NOTE:

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FREE photo! Call either of above numbers.

26 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 27: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

01 Wanna Be

Happy? Kirk Franklin

02 Worth

Anthony Brown & group

therAPy

03 Intentional

Travis Greene

04 123 Victory

Kirk Franklin

05 I’m Yours

Casey J

06 The Anthem

Todd Dulaney

07 Put A Praise On It

Tasha Cobbs Featuring

Kierra Sheard

08 I’m GoodWorth

Tim Bowman

09 Like No Other

Byron Cage

10 You’re Mighty

J.J. Hairston & Youthful

Praise

Top 10 Gospel

If you don’t want the church to teach about money be-

cause it’s “none of their business,” you should change the

way you see it.

As a pastor, I’m well aware of how many people have

the assumption that “all pastors want to talk about is

money.” The funny thing is, after 20 years in ministry and

communicating regularly with thousands of pastors, I can

firmly assert that talking about money is one of our least

favorite things to do, especially in our culture where per-

sonal finances are very … personal.

But the Apostle Paul wrote to a younger pastor in Ephe-

sus named Timothy once and told him to “teach and urge

these things … there is great gain in godliness with con-

tentment … but those who desire to be rich fall into temp-

tation … for the love of money is the root of all evil. … As

for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be

haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of

riches” (1 Timothy 5:2-17 ESV).

In other words, good doctrine (which literally means

“teaching”) demands that we address the issue of money.

Here are several reasons why the church NEEDS to talk

about finances …

Money is a gift from God to be managed for a season,

not an earned commodity to be consumed for pleasure

alone.

How we use money is a matter of worship—it demon-

strates our values and what is important to us.

It’s pretty obvious people NEED help in this area—

we’re strapped and stressed because of terrible manage-

ment.

Generosity is a key value of the Christian life, for the

church and for the individual Christian.

Money needs to serve the needs of man and the causes of

justice, rather than man serving under the tyranny of

money.

Money makes missions happen, which is God’s chief

business and area of concern—the spread of the gospel

deserves to be resourced.

If you don’t want the church to teach about money be-

cause it’s “none of their business,” you should change the

way you see it. Nobody in the church (at least not my

church) wants to see your budget or bank statements. We

simply want to help people get healthy financially and be-

come generous with our resources so that everyone experi-

ences God’s blessings. In other words, my church doesn’t

want something from you, we want something for you. ■

6 Excellent Reasons to Talk About Money From the Pulpit By Brandon Cox

27 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 28: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

Dr. Antwain Tate Goode

Spiritual

Collaboration at Home!

The importance of shared

motivation to obtain family goals!

I n order for families to capture off the roof top

opportunities, new insight will be needed into

motivation. As noted by Casey and Robbins

(2010) evidence suggests fitting the job to the

person and not the person to the job may

stimulate motivation. At the same time we often use

our talents and abilities to serve individuals or organi-

zations that do not fundamentally align to our purpose.

This creates hesitation for individuals to perform with

their best attitudes.

We as leaders must recognize and evaluate our fam-

ily teams to ensure we are working in our individual

swim lanes and not crossing over into another family

member’s area. It is to say that other family members

are more than capable of performing and leading in

their respective sector. Roles within our families can

change at any moment due to job relocation, educa-

tional workloads, health related issues, or lack of fi-

nancial resources. Specifically, family teams should

consider tactics such as goal orientation, as it may

help family team become more successful toward hit-

ting targets. According to Lee, Tan and Javalgi (2010)

leaders often overlook goal mastery and its affect on

employee commitment. As a matter of fact, the same

can be applied to families and we must take the time

to ensure the goals that are set for our families are

attainable, agreed upon, and challenging. Proper goal

alignment at home will create happier attitudes toward

team collaboration. In sum, as family members exam-

ine motivation and goal setting through shared per-

spectives, families will capture more off the roof top

opportunities!

Stay family motivated, find out who is good at

what, let them do it, and together stretch toward the

mark!

1 Corinthians 9:26

“I run straight to the goal with purpose in

every step”

28 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

Page 29: My ELife Magazine April May 2016

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another:

and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:25

LIST YOUR CHURCH IN OUR CHURCH DIRECTORY 336-323-8091 FOR DETAILS

Life Changing

International Church

1217 E. Green Dr.

High Point, NC 27260

(336) 882-1611

Williams Memorial

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3400 Triangle Lake Road

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HIGH POINT, NC GREENSBORO, NC

Bethel AME Church

518 Spur Rd,

Greensboro, NC 27406

(336) 674-8431

New Birth Sounds of

Thunder Christian Center

2300 South Elm

Eugene Street

Greensboro, NC 27406

(336) 324-7902

CONCORD, NC

New Life Baptist Church

1281 Biscayne Dr.

Concord, NC 28027

(704) 782-6215

Looking for a place to worship?

WINSTON-SALEM, NC

Emmanuel Baptist Church

1075 Shalimar Dr,

Winston Salem, NC 27107

(336) 788-7023

Gospel Light Baptist

Church

890 Walkertown Guthrie

Rd,

Winston Salem, NC 27101

(336) 722-9700

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(336) 727-8844

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29 MY ELIFE ■ MYELIFEMAG.COM ■ APRIL/MAY 2016 ■ 336-323-8091

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