The Muay Thai Home GymConstructing Your Very Own Temple of Spank

The Muay Thai Home Gym 1

www.thefightgeek.org

Glossary of SpankHere are a few of the insider terms that will help you better understand the

secretive underground world of Muay Thai Home Gyms.

Altar 1. noun. A holy space where man meets God. 2. A holy space where

man spanks bag. The area in a Muay Thai home gym that's set aside for the

long bag.

Chuck proper noun. The name given to the gym bucket that's used to collect

vomit and other bodily fluids emitted during a workout.

Gimp noun. A nickname for the long bag [of Latin origin. Meaning "to walk

with a limp"]. Common usage—"Bill spanked his gimp for five rounds last

night."

Loogey noun. 1. Chunky, moist grit that's picked or blown from the nostrils. 2.

A nickname for the medicine ball. Common usage—"Ben tossed his loogey

around the park."

Nak Muay noun. 1. A refined individual with impeccable taste—particularly in

sport. 2. A person who trains in Muay Thai.

Ring noun. 1. A region of the body where referee's often wedge their necks. 2.

The area in the Muay Thai home gym that's set aside for stretching,

shadowboxing, sparring, pad-work and conditioning.

Spanked verb. 1. Explosive release of beast-power via the limbs. Common

usage—"Bob really spanked the pads at training last night." 2. To be beaten

and bashed until you're crying like a little girl who's lost her mommy. Common

usage—"Buakaw would get spanked if he ever fought Yodsanklai."

Toolbox noun. 1. Your beast. 2. Region in home gym where conditioning tools

are stored.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 2

www.thefightgeek.org

The Advantages of a Muay Thai Home Gym

Less Travel

You love your Muay Thai Club. They understand you there. Just like you, they

love to spank pads, bags and one another. But the travel can be a hassle. If

only there was an easy way to get a little more spank into your life . . .

Convenience

Ideally we'd all have a Thai pad-holder tucked away in the basement (and

maybe a sexy little Thai masseur as well), but that'd be too expensive (and

maybe even illegal). What about a regular training partner? Yeh, they’re

useful. But you don’t want to be chasing people up, every time you want to

workout. If only you had a convenient way to train Muay Thai whenever you

wanted . . .

Freedom of Expression

There's one thing all nak muay's have in common—we grunt, growl and snarl

when we spank things. Unfortunately, at some health clubs this natural

expression of spank-joy is frowned upon—the owners are afraid it might scare

or offend the other customers. Consider this true story:

At a local health club, I had just finished a particularly hard round on

the bag. A young lady came up to me and said, "you sound like your

having full-blown sex with that equipment!” There were so many one-

liners I wanted to respond with, but being a gentleman, I just

apologized and tried to keep the noise down. She went back to trotting

on her little treadmill and watching Oprah, whilst I was relegated to

playing a game of pitty-patty on the bag like some emasculated wimp.

I’m sure you’ve had similar experiences. If only there was a place to workout

where we felt free to unleash our inner beasts (inner beasts) . . .

There is such a place, my friends—your own home. All you need to do is set-up

a Muay Thai home gym—your very own Temple of Spank!

The Muay Thai Home Gym 3

www.thefightgeek.org

Core RequirementsThere are three core requirements to consider when designing your awesome

Muay Thai home gym: it’s got to be sports specific, suitable for solo training

and cost-effective.

Can the gym improve your Muay Thai?

This sounds like an obvious requirment, but many people fill their home gyms

full of useless shit or gear that doesn’t actually improve the specific attributes

needed for their sport. Toss out the thigh-masters, butt-toners, ab-rollers and

crazy vibrating machines (well, perhaps move the vibrating machines to the

bedroom for later). And set aside any unrelated sporting and fitness gear.

We're building a Muay Thai gym, a Temple of Spank, not a gimmick-filled

wank-fest or a gym better suited for another sport.

Can you get a good workout in the gym by yourself?

I know it takes two to tango for a lot of fight training. But, it defeats the

purpose of having a home gym if you can't get a good workout in it by

yourself. Sure, you might want to allow some space to train with a partner, but

you don't want to be reliant on others for a good training session. And besides,

you probably should try to minimize the number of nak muays you allow into

your house. They tend to be dirty, smelly delinquents of questionable character

(and many carry infectious diseases!).

Can you set-up your gym cheaply?

Hell yes! Don't fall for the fitness industry hard sell—leave that to the pretty-

boys that frequent exclusive health clubs. Money can’t buy Muay Thai skills and

conditioning. The vast majority of Thai fighters train without any expensive

equipment or high-tech gear. They rely on determination, effort and

persistence to achieve their goals. Less is more. A Muay Thai home gym is old-

school, hard-core and low cost.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 4

www.thefightgeek.org

The Tools you'll need Before I get into the nitty gritty of what to buy, in

the interests of total disclosure, I'd like to point out

that I'm not getting paid anything for recommending

products in this ebook . . . DAMN IT!

The Muay Thai Home Gym 5

www.thefightgeek.org

Good LocationFirst up you’re going to need some space. Your best bet is a garage, but I've

seen people convert almost any space into a kick-arse home gym. There are

three key regions that you must allow for when setting up your Temple of

Spank:

The Altar

This is the region in your home-gym where your heavy bag lives. Your gimp

will be the most difficult tool to incorporate into your space—it’s ‘needy’. You

need to allow for it’s swing and extra space for your movement around it. You

don’t necessarily need full 360° movement around your bag, but you wouldn’t

want much less than 180° access. Then there’s the issue of hanging it. There

are four options:

Hang it from the roof. This is the most common and (in my opinion)

the best option. It allows for a good natural swing and doesn’t require

any additional gear outside of a chain and hook.

Hang it from a stand-alone support structure. I don’t like them.

Even the ones designed for 'professional' use in gyms are pretty crap.

I've used a ‘two station’ (speed bag and long bag) at my local health

club. To stop it from falling over when I kicked it I had to put a couple

of weight plates on the speed-ball side. After two weeks of use, the

weld near the chain broke—not good. However, if you can't hang your

bag, then this is your next best option—but it’s going to be expensive.

Bolt it into a concrete floor. These bags are specially made with a

metal rod that goes through it’s center and bolts onto the floor. I really

don’t like them. They don't respond like a hung bag and eventually you

start to feel the steel pole support when you kick it. Avoid them.

Use a free-standing bag. I’ve only tried the free-standing bags with

water-filled bases. They don’t respond well to a hard kick—it takes

forever to right itself. Avoid them.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 6

www.thefightgeek.org

The Ring

This is the region in your home gym where you stretch, shadowbox, spar, do

pad-work and conditioning. The smallest area I've found usable is 3m x 2m

(10’ x 7’). In this amount of space, training by yourself isn’t a problem—you’ll

be able to stretch, shadowbox and do basic conditioning. However, if you’re

doing partner work, you’ll find kicking the pads difficult and sparring next to

impossible.

If you’re going to do a lot of partner work, a better option is 3m x 3m (10’ x

10’). This gives you enough of a 'ring' to be able to move around a bit during

padwork and sparring.

If you can mark out your ring, then do it. Having a defined space helps keep

the mind focused on what it’s supposed to be doing. (Though probably avoid

spray-painting the carpet if you’re converting a room inside your house.)

The Toolbox

As the name suggests, this is the region in your home gym where you toss all

your technique and conditioning tools. If you follow my advice (stay tuned) and

get a big tyre, then you can use that to throw your stuff in. Otherwise any box

will do.

Make sure you use your toolbox! The last thing you want to do is trip over

something when your shadowboxing, sparring or kicking the bag—the results

aren’t pretty.

STORE YOUR TOOLS—DON’T BE ONE!

The Muay Thai Home Gym 7

www.thefightgeek.org

A Heavy Bag (Gimp)This is the most important purchase for your home gym. You will spend

countless hours with your gimp—kicking, punching, grappling . . . nuzzling.

So, in my opinion, it's worthwhile buying the best quality bag you can afford.

So what sort of bag should you get?

Buy Long

It needs to be long enough so you can jab high and kick low from your

normal fighting stance.

Buy Heavy

It must be heavy enough to develop powerful kicks and keep the

swinging to a minimum.

Buy Tough

You’re going to absolutely spank the be-jesus out of this thing with your

shins, elbows, knees, fists and face (What? You don’t do face

conditioning? You sissy!) Make sure it’s made from durable material,

has quality stitching and sturdy D-rings.

Owning a heavy bag will enable you to practice all of your strikes. And unlike a

training partner it won't get tired or sook during a particularly hard spanking

session. You will learn to love your gimp—though don't get carried away.

Getting 'aroused' when you spank you gimp is normal (well, that's what I tell

myself)—just don't ever let things go past the arousal stage. Sweat, blood and

tears should be the only bodily fluids that stain your bag.

What do I use? A 6 foot, Jumbo Jim Bradley bag.

Jim Bradley Home Page

Want some gimp-kicking inspiration?

Peter Aerts Kicking the Heavy Bag

The Muay Thai Home Gym 8

www.thefightgeek.org

Gloves and WrapsHands are actually useful for other things outside of spanking your gimp. So

make sure you wrap them and wear gloves every time you workout.

Some nak muays have a couple of pairs of gloves (one pair for training and the

other for fighting). I don’t really see the point. I just use my fight gloves for

everything. I figure, if you're going to fight in them, you may as well train in

them. But each to their own on this one.

What do I use? Ten ounce Twins Special gloves & Twins Special hand-wraps.

Gloves

Hand-wraps

Want to learn how to wrap your hands for Muay Thai?

Hand-wrapping

The Muay Thai Home Gym 9

www.thefightgeek.org

Medicine Ball (loogey)The first conditioning tool a nak muay should get is a medicine ball. A loogey

will help develop your striking and grappling power. You'll learn to love your

loogey. It will become a part of you—a third testicle who's just as devoted to

developing your manliness as the other two.

Medicine balls come in all different sizes and weights; some bounce, others

don’t; some have inbuilt handles, others are smooth etc. They’re all good. It

just gets down to personal preference. I like the bouncy ones—they rebound of

the wall and floor (or heavy bag and floor) and make throwing drills quicker

and more fluid.

Don't forget that you can always make your own medicine ball.

Homemade Medicine Ball

Want some exercises for your medicine ball?

Medicine Ball Drills

More Medicine Ball Drills

Medicine Ball Punch

Muay Thai Conditioning with a Medicine Ball

The Muay Thai Home Gym 10

www.thefightgeek.org

Jump-ropeThe next conditioning tool you should get is a jump-rope. Your rope will help

develop your footwork, coordination, balance and endurance.

A lot of nak muays use the slower, heavier jump-ropes made from thick plastic

tubing. I personally like the speedy leather ropes that most boxers use. I think

it makes me faster on my feet (and besides, the leather goes much better with

the overall theme of my sex-dungeon—I mean home gym.)

Want to learn the basics of jumping rope?

Jumping Rope for Beginners

Want some jump-rope inspiration?

Jumping Rope Skills

More Jumping Rope Skills

The Muay Thai Home Gym 11

www.thefightgeek.org

A Big Tyre and Sledge HammerYep, you read that heading correctly. I'm suggesting you go out and get a

cheap sledge-hammer (available at any hardware store) and the biggest mutha

of a tyre you can lay your hands on. Whilst unconventional, these tools are

very effective at conditioning the body. And they cost a lot less than a

traditional weights, dumb-bells, bar and bench set-up.

You can get old tyres from scrap-yards, tyre-makers, and even farmers. I got

mine from a local tyre-seller that’s also a disposal center for old tyres. I can’t

believe people just throw these awesome conditioning tools away. Go figure?

Want some tyre exercises?

Tag-team Tyre Flip

Bouncing on Tyres

More Tyre Training

What about some tyre and sledge exercises? (Wait for the final exercises in the

circuit.)

Tyre Circuit

Okay, so getting a big-arse tyre and a sledgehammer won’t be a practical

option for everyone—some people mightn’t have enough room, or be able to

transport a big tyre back to their homes etc. So, I've got a few other cheap

options I'll outline later under ‘Optional Conditioning Tools’.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 12

www.thefightgeek.org

Round TimerThe last thing you really need for your Temple of Spank is a round timer. Muay

Thai is an interval oriented sport, so it’s a good idea to train using a timer. You

can actually buy dedicated timers, and they can be quite expensive. But I’ve

got a much cheaper option (free). If you can put up with my Aussie accent

then you can download a full set of mp3 timers from my site.

The set includes the following:

30 second round

1 minute round

2 minute round

3 minute round

4 minute round

5 minute round

1 minute rest

2 minute rest

The timers have a begin/end bell and reminder countdowns (each minute, last

30 seconds & last 10 seconds).

The Muay Thai Home Gym 13

www.thefightgeek.org

Optional Conditioning ToolsThere are a few other conditioning tools that are worth grabbing, particularly if

you don't like the tyre and sledge option.

Kettlebells

They're great for strength, power and cardio conditioning. The only down-side

is they can be expensive.

Where can you get kettlebells?

Buy Kettlebells

Interested in making your own?

Homemade Kettlebells 1

Homemade Kettlebells 2

Homemade Kettlebells 3

Want some kettlebell exercises?

Basic Kettlebell Training

Keg

If you want a cheaper option for conditioning your body, consider grabbing a

used keg. They're great for strength, power and endurance training—and

they're cheap and readily available.

Want to know the where, how and why of Keg training?

Keg Training

Big-arse Rocks

You can't get more low tech than some weighty rocks. They're great for

strength, power and endurance work. I've got three rocks: a small one I use to

toss around the backyard, a medium one, I clean and press, and a big-arse

one I deadlift and waddle around with.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 14

www.thefightgeek.org

Optional 'Pimp my Gym' GearHere are a few non-essential additions for your Temple of Spank that can

improve your workout experience.

Floor mats

Decking out your ring area with mats can be quite expensive, but it does give

the added advantage of enabling throw-downs from the grapple when you're

sparring (always good fun). And it obviously improves safety when sparring.

I've got a set of nine jigsaw mats, and I absolutely love them.

White board, marker and eraser

It's great to have a space where you can plan your workouts, keep track of

reps/sets/rounds, and draw childish obscenities on during breaks. You can pick

this stuff up pretty cheap at any office supplies store.

Posters

Your gym should be adorned with inspiring images. My suggestions? Large

posters of Sanchai Sor Singstar, Mr T, and some sexy ring-girls. Though try and

limit the nude shots—not everyone who comes into your home gym will

appreciate seeing a naked black man with a mohawk.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 15

www.thefightgeek.org

Gear for Padwork

Thai Pads

The most elegant (and cruelest) training equipment yet devised for the nak

muay. Given the importance placed on padwork in muay thai, it's worth buying

the best you can afford. In my opinion go for a leather pair with velcro straps.

Belly pad

There are work around solutions for not having a belly pad, but once you’ve

trained with one, you won't want to go back. When buying a belly pad make

sure that it has adequate padding, particularly where it protects the sides of

your body. Some of the less traditional models offer more complete padding

over the whole torso region. It's up to personal preference. I like the traditional

style belly pad but with a velcro strap.

Shin-guards

If the pad-holder has shin-guards he can throw heavy kicks at the fighter. This

makes the whole pad session more alive and more fun. Once again, I think it's

worth buying the best shin guards you can afford. I've seen some designed for

other styles and they're total crap. I like shin-guards with an instep and velcro

strapping.

Focus mitts

Whilst it’s true that you can practice all of your hand work on the Thai pads,

having a pair of focus mitts enables you to practice faster and more complex

hand combinations. The Thai pads can be a bit unwieldy when it comes to fast

combo work. Having focus mitts also gives you the option of single pad / single

mitt combo training. I like the leather focus mitts with velcro strapping.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 16

www.thefightgeek.org

Gear for Sparring

Mouth Guard

You can actually spend a lot of money on a professionally fitted mouth guard. I

just use a cheap heat and mould mouth guard that I picked up from my local

chemist. And I've still got all my teeth.

Shin-guards

I know some dudes who spar without shin guards—not me. Give me lots of

leather, an instep and velcro strapping thanks.

Sparring Gloves

I use standard leather boxing gloves with velcro strapping. You might consider

getting a heavier pair as well, if you plan to do a lot of heavy sparring.

Groin guard

Yes it's important to wear one. And no, it isn’t funny getting kicked in the balls

—especially by a nak muay. For the love of God man—get a groin guard.

They're cheap and can found at almost all sports store.

The Muay Thai Home Gym 17

www.thefightgeek.org

ConclusionWell, I hope my little ebook has helped you get a clearer idea of what's needed

to make a kick-arse, old-school, Muay Thai home-gym.

But always remember, it’s not where you train, or what gear you train with

that’s important. What really matters is how you train. Train with

determination, hard work and perseverance and your small home-gym will be

transformed into a mighty Temple of Spank.

So build that gym, my friend. And you too can become a total Spanker—just

like me.

Cheers

the fight geek

The Muay Thai Home Gym 18

www.thefightgeek.org