Motivating Motivating Your ChildYour Child

A Parent WorkshopPresented by Anne Henry & Alicia

SchwenkJanuary 31, 2008

Myths of Motivation• NOTHING motivates some kids.• One day my child is motivated, the

next day she’s not.• External rewards are great

motivators.• Competition is a great motivator.• Punishment is an effective motivator.

The 8 Forces of Motivation

• Developed by educator Richard Lavoie (The Motivation Breakthrough: 6 Secrets to Turning On the Tuned-Out Child)

• Everybody has a unique motivational profile.

• Some of our motivational needs are stronger than others.

• 1-10 rating scale

Gregariousness:the need to belong

• Motivated by PEOPLE• Happy in a crowd• Puts effort in

establishing/maintaining relationships• *Reinforce role in family.• *Encourage interaction and

cooperative activities.

Autonomy:the need for independence• Motivated by PROJECTS, PRESTIGE, and

POWER• Likes independent projects• Decision-makers• *Give opportunities for responsibility.• *Works well on self-correcting activities.

Status:the need to be important• Motivated by PRAISE, PRIZES, and

POWER• Self-esteem is tied to others’ opinions• Extremely sensitive to criticism• *Avoid embarrassment.• *Celebrate child’s unique

strengths/interests.

Inquisitiveness:the need to know

• Motivated by PROJECTS• Values information.• Uncomfortable if he/she feels information

is kept secret.• *Show child how new tasks relate to old.• *Encourage child to continually reestablish

goals.

Aggression:the need to assert

• Motivated by POWER and PRESTIGE• Wants feelings/opinions to be recognized• Eager to confront perceived injustice• *Ask child for ideas and sometimes use

his/her suggestions.• *Avoid power struggles; allow choices.

Power:the need for control

• Motivated by PRIZES, PRESTIGE, and POWER

• Likes responsibility and authority.• Concerned with control and influence.• *Provide leadership opportunities.• *Ask for input on rules and tasks.

Recognition:the need for acknowledgment• Motivated by PRAISE and PRIZES• Craves recognition for accomplishments• This is true for many people.• *Give immediate feedback.• *Watch nagging or harsh criticism.• *Responds to awards and public praise.

Affiliation:the need to associate

• Motivated by PEOPLE, PRAISE, and PRIZES

• Craves connection with others• Gains strength from membership in group

or approval from authority• *Tell stories of your struggles, triumphs,

etc.• *Let child know that you truly enjoy

his/her company.

Parents Play an Important Role in Motivation

• Children are influenced by the attitudes and behaviors of parents

• Find a balance when emphasizing learning

Learning is a Lifelong Process

• School is the foundation• Share new things you learn each week• Model lifelong learning • Discuss what you would like to learn

Share Your Childhood School Experiences

• Subjects studied• Interesting lessons• Teacher

expectations• Classroom

management

• Ask yourself, “What is my message?”

• Make a commitment to share positive experiences

Establish an Educational Atmosphere

• Quietly read near student during homework

• Education is not limited to school• Discuss learning-related topics• Watch an educational show • Take a family field trip

Show Interest in Your Child’s Education

• Interest is essential component• Allow children to discuss the day’s

events• Ask, “What was one fun activity you

did today?”• Be available

Show Interest in Your Child’s Work

• Find something positive about each paper

• Use negative comments sparingly

• Remember mistakes are common in the learning process

• Frame mistakes as a learning opportunity

Help Children Set Achievable Goals

• Encourage students to focus on continued improvement

• Help children critique own work• Analyze strengths• Work on weaknesses

Homework is Children’s Work

• Parents can provide a workspace• Be accessible• Decide if help is necessary• Make a commitment to allow children to do what

they are capable of doing• Children lose desire to learn, if they believe they

are incapable

Grades• Grades generate many feelings within

a family• Genuine verbal praise for work is

very meaningful• Beware of monetary rewards

Show Respect for Children’s School

• Notice school events– Respond when signature is required

• Attend school functions & conferences– Children’s home away from home

Respect Your Child’s Teacher

• Make positive comments

• Negative comments lead to breakdown of learning process

• Listen if child is dissatisfied

• Do not agree or disagree

• End on a positive remark

Allow Children to Develop a Sense of Responsibility

• Let children experience consequences of their own actions

• Avoid, “Just this once won’t hurt.”

• Ask yourself, “Will this help my child become a responsible adult?”