Module 11: Lesson 3

Dress Rehearsals Checklist

Worksheet

FST Digital Advanced Training Course12 FST Techniques to Become a Family Trauma Expert

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Lesson 3Dress Rehearsals Checklist

In this Lesson #3 worksheet, I will summarize and highlight the critical steps of Step 4: Conduct Role-Plays/Dress Rehearsals in Phase IV pre-session preparation and outlined in Chapter 11 of your Resource Book.

To successfully set-up and execute dress rehearsals (within Step 4), there are the following six mini steps:

Step One: Eliminate Your “Slam Dunks” from the Troubleshooting Checklist

Step Two: Go From Easier Role-Plays to More Challenging Ones

Step Three: Introductory Role-Play Statement

Step Four: Storyboard Role-Plays With Verbal Walkthroughs

Step Five: Conduct Your Role-Plays

Step Six: Vote on Role-Play Performance Using a Scale of 1-5

Important Point: Don’t freak out. These are dress rehearsal guidelines. There are steps to use with your clients within these guidelines (like transition statements), but overall, it is like a textbook on how to make karate moves that you read internally and then practice later with an opponent. In the same way, you will learn these dress rehearsal moves internally and then implement them with your families.

Please read the details of these mini-steps in Chapter 11 (pgs. 303-320). As with troubleshooting, dress rehearsals are a new skill, and this worksheet by itself will not be enough to master this technique.

Phase IV: Troubleshooting and Dress RehearsalsStep 1: Present Finalized Playbooks and Locate and Close Loopholes

Step 2: Present the Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist

Step 3: Co-Create the Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist

Step 4: Conduct Role-Plays/Dress Rehearsals and Enactments Step 5: Implement Playbooks

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Please Note: There are a total of 8 steps in the book. I took the top six steps out of the eight and summarized them in this worksheet for quick reference and easier onboarding of this technique.

In this worksheet you will:

• Get an in-depth review of the top 6-steps on how to translate your Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist into dress rehearsal (role plays).

• Learn how to set up and deliver dress rehearsals with excellence.

To master each of these six mini-steps, simply take one case. Go through this case and check off each of the six steps as you do them. This is called onboarding. If you do one case and it is successful, the odds increase that this process will become your new normal. If you decide to go forward with FST Certification after graduation, one of our FST consultants will guide you through this onboarding process step-by-step during your monthly online consultation.

Six Action Steps#1 – �Eliminate�Your�“Slam�Dunks”�from�the�

Troubleshooting Checklist ` After Step 3: Co-Create the Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist, you, as the

FST therapist, will locate what I call “slam dunks.” I call these “slam dunks” because they are the curveballs and countermoves in your checklist that you can go through that do not need dress rehearsals.

` Make the following transition statement after you pass out your Troubleshooting Checklist:

Congrats everyone, we just finished going through your troubleshooting checklist to list the most likely curveballs and countermoves you will need to deliver your playbook successfully.

Our next step is for me to quickly go through this list and place a “star” on the curveballs and countermoves that I think are clear and that you can try at home without the need for practice role-plays or dress rehearsals today.

So, let me put a star on the ones I think are clear and can be done on your own without much assistance from me. If you disagree with my star picks, please let me know. We can always add them to our practice delivery list. Ok, here are my choices, and why.

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` This exercise should only take about 5-10 minutes. If a family member strongly disagrees with your choices, stop and ask them to clarify with rationale. If the family member makes a good point, you can reverse your decision and include it within the series of upcoming role-plays.

As illustrated and highlighted with Ashley playbook in Figure 1, the slam dunk was the who, what, where, and when. These all got “stars” on the checklist. The “how” steps were where this family got stuck and needed my help. These areas were the focus of our role plays, and they are illustrated in your lesson #2 video.

#2 – �Go�From�Easier�Role-Plays�(Or�Strengths-Based)�to�More�Challenging�Ones

` After your “slam dunk” list is complete, you have one final tactical decision to make before your actual role plays. Do a quick review of the troubleshooting scenarios remaining. Pick your most comfortable role-plays first to increase the odds for successful outcomes. Quick victories will build confidence and momentum for the tougher role-plays that lie ahead.

` It is your decision on whether to discuss this tactical decision openly with your family members. It will depend on the family.

Figure 1: The “Slam Dunks” That Were Eliminated (Who, What, When, and Where)

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` Begin to think about this decision as early as when your first countermoves checklists are being drafted during your pre-session preparation.

Important to Note: In general, regardless of the playbook, the easiest role-play is often the one that is strengths-based or positive first. For example, in Figure 2, in Ashley’s family, the easiest was practicing the delivery of the rewards and using the words “nevertheless” to prevent the parents from being quickly taken off track by Ashley when conflict arose. Also, children love this approach. For example, when the first role play is positive and nurturing, it draws them in with curiosity to see more and be more engaged. In turn, this positive attitude immediately gets the parent or caregiver more hope and confidence that these new dance moves (i.e., healthy undercurrents) might just work.

FST Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist

Name of Technique: 30 Day Nurturing Campaign

Areas of the FST Trauma Playbook to Address

Common “What Will You Do If?” Curveballs

to Derail Playbook

Countermoves Actions or Statements

Re-print the Parts of Your FST Playbook Below:

How:

Step 1: 7am Stepdad praise Ashley for job well done when chores completed day before.

Step 2: Give Ashley her allowance of $1.50 for chores each day.

Step 3: Mark Bonus Calendar with Ashley together.

Step 4: Mom will praise Ashley too and husband and say thank you for his consistency.

IN STEP 1: What will you do if?

Ashley says: “who cares!” or “whatever” or ignores you?

OR YOU PICK: ________

• Don’t take it personally

• Remember... Ashley is scared to be vulnerable

IN STEP 2: What will you do if?

Ashley says: “I want more money”

OR YOU PICK: ________

• Say... “Nevertheless, the reward is $1.50”

• If she continues... Exit the conversation without saying anything further

Figure 2: Example of Easier to Harder Role Plays

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#3 – �Your�Role-Play�Introductory�Statement ` The following introductory statement is used to transition your family to their

first role-plays:

Now that we have put a “star” on the curveballs and countermoves you will do on your own, our next step is to practice the delivery of your playbook (through dress rehearsals or role-plays). Actors use dress rehearsals to practice their lines before opening night. In the same way, we are going to do dress rehearsals (or role-plays or practice rounds) to practice the delivery of your playbook so that you will be ready to use it when you walk out this door.

After we practice our delivery, I will ask everyone to rate our performance on a scale of 1-5, 1= not close to a good delivery, and we need more practice and 5 = great delivery and ready to go forward. If there is a low score, we can practice a few more rounds to get it right.

Just like a director in a movie, I will yell “Freeze” when I want us to stop or if we need more practice. I will also say, “That’s a Wrap” when everyone likes what they see, and we can get more on to the next curveball on the list.

These are important practice rounds (role-plays or dress rehearsals) because, as the old saying goes, “it is not what you say but how you say it.”

Therefore, if you need more practice or don’t get everything you want done in the time we have left, I will suggest another meeting, so we have enough practice time.

Please Note: In my experience, family members and especially older children and adolescents can have an aversion to the word “role-play.” Therefore, if there appears to be negativity around the term, substitute the words of “practice delivery” or “dress rehearsals.”

Think about the positive implications of this transition statement! Our families or clients have likely never received such a clear transition statement with rationale on how to do role plays or a clear WIFM (What’s in for me). It sets you up beautifully to do your role plays with excitement and anticipation. If you are doing online therapy, you need these clear and easy to understand transition statements to get quick cooperation from your clients.

` After this statement, pick out your first easy role-play scenario to get a quick victory. Then move on to your more challenging ones next.

` Rule of Thumb: Practice all the countermove scenarios you and the family select at least once until you get a self-report rating at “3” or above. If the self-

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report rating is less than a “3” or you think it’s less, do the role-play as many times as needed. If you run out of time in the session, pick up where you often left the next time. If you just let it go and the role-play never goes above a “3”, you are setting up your family for failure in this area of the troubleshooting checklist.

#4 – �Storyboard�Role-Plays�With�Verbal�WalkthroughsIn traditional counseling, if role-plays are used at all, they are poorly set up and have little to no pre-planning. And when these happen, our clients make comments such as, “Now, what were we supposed to say again?” or “What are we supposed to do next?”.

In response to challenges, the FST Model uses what is called “storyboarding” combined with “verbal walkthroughs.” A storyboard plans out a movie in advance by pre-visualizing each scene using illustrations or images.

In the same way, you will use a flip chart, your computer, or a dry eraser board to storyboard out each scene you select to role play from your troubleshooting countermoves checklist. And then, you will do a verbal walkthrough with your family before trying it out for real. Storyboarding and verbal walkthroughs allow for a dry run like an actor running through their lines before the director yells “action,” and the cameras roll. Actors need these dry runs before a scene, and so will your family.

Use a flip chart or dry eraser board to write out your storyboard. You can also verbally go through it, but there is power in visuals. If you are using online therapy, share your computer screen with the storyboard template (in bold below) and type it in with the family in real-time. It’s that easy.

` Picking up from where you left with the transition script in Step 3, the final set of instructions before the role-play includes storyboarding and verbal walkthroughs.

If no questions, let me storyboard out the scene and we will get started.

(Storyboarding)

In this first scene, let’s write on our storyboard that we will be at this location, __________ at this time of day __________.

Now, If I start with my curveball of __________,

Looking at your checklist sheet (state person’s name) what do you imagine you will say or do in response– __________ Your Countermove? I will write down what you will say and do.

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Then I will do __________ in response to you. Let me write down what I will do also.

(Verbal Walkthrough)

Now that we have laid out the scene let’s walk it through and then begin.

If I start with my curveball of __________ at this place and time,

Then what will you do or say next __________?

And then what __________?

And then what __________?

` Optional: You may want to give your parents an explanation of why you are playing the role of their child and delivering the curveballs. If “yes,” use the script below an tweak it to fit your style. If “no” and this information is not needed, simply proceed directly to mini step #5 and initiate the role play after your walkthrough.

You may be asking why I am playing the part of __________ [child’s name or another family member depending on the troubleshoot checklist being highlighted and delivering the curveballs.]

The reason is that for the sake of time, I want to serve up the right curveballs quickly like a good pitcher so that you can practice your delivery. Therefore, I will be playing your child or the person who is throwing the curveballs in that role play.

Then, when we invite your child back in, they will play themselves as I move to the role of director and feed them the lines they will use to pretend to throw you the same curveballs that I will be doing first.

After one set of role-plays is done, we rate how well you did on a scale of 1 to 5 with1= not close to good delivery and need more practice and 5 = great delivery and ready to go forward. After you get a “3” or above, we will move on to the next role play until you are confident and prepared to try it out for real with your child.

Case Examples For More Information

Please Note: Read Tom’s case study in TABLE 11.4 Storyboarding and Verbal Walkthroughs (pages 316-318) if you want to see storyboarding and walkthroughs in action.

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(14:50–18:32) Please also re-watch the verbal walkthrough scene in Lesson #2 of Ashley’s case. You will see my verbal walkthrough with the father and mother before I snap my fingers and say, “Action.”

And re-watch my storyboarding walkthrough with Dexter’s father in Lesson #2

(22:09–26:43) Storyboarding walkthrough with Dexter’s father using the disrespect playbook.

#5 – �Conduct�Your�Role�Plays ` Conduct your role-play immediately after the storyboarding and verbal

walkthrough are finished.

` It is critically important to prevent your role-plays from going on too long or to unravel themselves.

` The rule of thumb is that once the fundamental principles are demonstrated in the role play, you should be poised to yell “freeze” or “time out” to stop the role-play.

Case Example IllustrationIn this brief example, the FST therapist yells “freeze” at the right time.

FST Therapist: Ok, let’s begin. Action.

FST Therapist: Why are you coming to my bedroom to give me a note telling me how proud you are of me? It’s a little too late [angry and disrespectful voice]. (Curveball – play the part of daughter)

Dad: You’re right. I have no excuse. I take full responsibility for the past, and I apologize. You do not have to forgive me if you do not want to. I have to prove it in the future with actions, and maybe then you can. (Countermove – healthy undercurrent of accountability and apology)

FST Therapist: This is all BS, and this note, I am ripping it up.

Dad: [Calmly] I understand I might do the same thing if I were in your shoes. As I said, my kindness has to be unconditional love. I will keep doing acts of kindness to keep saying sorry. (Countermove – healthy undercurrent of unconditional love). I will leave now. I love you.

Freeze

As this example illustrates, the therapist yelled “freeze” at the right time. The key healthy undercurrents of accountability, forgiveness, and unconditional love were demonstrated. And to go on would have only served to unravel the goals of the role-play.

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#6 – �Vote�on�Role-Play�Performance�Using�a�Scale�of�1-5 ` At the end of each role-play, turn to the observers the role players themselves

with this question:

“On a scale of 1 to 5 with “1” meaning that the parent, child, or village member lacked confidence and needs more practice and “5” meaning they demonstrate confidence and are ready to deliver the countermove, what is the first number that comes to mind?”

` If the overall average score is “3” or less, it indicates that another practice round is likely needed. The person receiving the ratings are the ones responsible for the countermoves (not you, playing the part of the child).

` You can also ask for concrete suggestions from the raters as to what the role player needs to do or say in the next role-play to raise their rating one or two points.

` Use the following transition statement to introduce this step.

“Freeze” – Ok, let me go around the room and evaluate the delivery. Let me start with the people watching first and then ask everyone in the scene. I will be the last to go. On a scale of 1 to 5 with 1 meaning that you do not feel confident and need more practice and 5 meaning you have total confidence and you are ready to deliver the countermove, what is the first number that comes to mind?

__________ [Call on a person] what is the first number that came to mind? [Let them answer] And why did you give that number?

What could that person do or say in the future to go from __________ [number they gave] to a __________ [the next higher number]?

(Optional) And what did they do or say to get to __________ [the number they gave]? In other words, why are they not at a lower number?

The rating scale is an invaluable strategy to empower your family to provide solution-focused suggestions to improve on the next role-play and consolidate any positive gains that were made.

Example of How the Rating Scale Directs Future Role PlaysFor example, your parent may receive a consensus from everyone that the timing and the message was perfect, but the tone of voice was shaky and lacked confidence. Therefore, in round two, there would be a focus on sounding more confident and more assertive.

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You may even ask the person who gave the feedback to quickly demonstrate what “confidence” and “assertiveness” looks like. Finally, the ratings make it easier for you to ask for another practice session if the rating was “3” or lower.

This is what happened in Dexter’s case in lesson #2, when the parents were not able to deliver the consequences section well. As a result, another practice session was requested.

Next Steps: Implement Playbooks After Role PlaysAs illustrated in the table, after the role plays, comes Step 5: Implement Playbooks.

` At the end of Phase IV, you have a tough decision to make.

` Do the child and family demonstrate sufficient competence in the role-plays to warrant playbook implementation? The rating scale scores will help guide this decision, but it is still your judgment call on what you will recommend to the family. This decision is not an easy one. After the checklist and role plats, your family will often immediately leave your office and start to use the playbook, whether they are ready or not.

You may have to use the full weight of your expert status and high rapport and trust with the family to convince them to wait for another practice session.

You may have to remind your families that they have been stuck for a long time. Therefore, one session or even two is not a big deal in the big picture.

` However, it is important to weigh this perspective with the fact that there is a therapeutic value for families to struggle. This is because the playbook can get your stuck families unstuck with even the smallest change. When the playbook works well even a little bit, it can unleash a sudden shift in positive emotions, insight, and new behaviors.

` From this position of momentum and hope, your family is more likely to allow future corrections in delivery, and you can push them to work through more difficult challenges.

Phase IV: Troubleshooting and Dress RehearsalsStep 1: Present Finalized Playbooks and Locate and Close Loopholes

Step 2: Present the Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist

Step 3: Co-Create the Troubleshooting Countermoves Checklist

Step 4: Conduct Role-Plays/Dress Rehearsals and Enactments

Step 5: Implement Playbooks

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` Also, each succeeding session can get closer to the bullseye of healing the family trauma. You are getting instant feedback on what is working or not. Adjustments to the playbook can then be made accordingly.

Final Transition Statement if Ready for ImplementationIf the decision is to recommend playbook implementation, you will use the following transition statement:

Congrats, you are now what I call battle-ready. This means that your playbook is well written and free of all the loopholes we could find up to this point. And you have done a good job troubleshooting or figuring out the most common curveballs or “what will you do if” situations if they should ever occur.

Finally, you have done well with the practice dress rehearsals. By doing all this prep work ahead of time, the odds of your success have significantly increased. You are therefore ready to implement your playbook to actively start healing your wounds of __________ [fill in the blank]

Let’s wait a couple of weeks before we meet again to give you time to implement your playbook. Then in the next session, we will all evaluate how the playbook went on a scale of 0% to 100%. 0% meaning the playbook did not work well at all, and 100% indicating the playbook is working without a problem. Then we will decide where to go from there.

Have a great week. And one last thing. The research shows that it is reasonable to expect only a 10% improvement each week. That is just how people change, about 10% improvement each week. So, if you go above that 10% mark, great, but if you don’t, that’s normal and what to expect.

As illustrated above, it is important to give the family at least two weeks in between sessions to try out their playbooks. The exception will be if there are still safety concerns to monitor and weekly sessions makes sense.

The next session will be Phase V: Evaluate Progress and Relapse Prevention. This is the final phase in FST treatment and the last module in your course.

Next Steps• Are you ready, can you feel it? You have worked so hard, only one more Module

to go, and you are an FST Advanced Training graduate. You can do it. I believe in you!

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Success MilestonesAfter you complete this worksheet, look for these success milestones in your practice:

✔ Dress Rehearsal Are Tough At First to Master But Worth It! – Like troubleshooting, dress rehearsals will also be initially awkward and clumsy. But it is worth it. Please remember this critical point. With generational trauma (like you saw with the Primetime Live mother), it is impossible to expect that your clients can deliver new and healthy undercurrents without both troubleshooting and dress rehearsals. So, as hard as it is on you to learn it, it is even harder for your clients. So, the milestone is this in a nutshell. Practice, experiment, and permit yourself to fail, but don’t give up until you master it.

✔ Watch the Sudden Shift in Your Client or Family – Here is some excellent news. The bar is set so low that even a small change with a clumsy role play will move your stuck family and give them hope. Because until the role plays, they will likely have never experientially seen what a new and healthy undercurrent looks like. And you can ask them this key question, “How much has the role plays and troubleshooting contributed by themselves contributed to positive change with your child and family from 0%, meaning not much to 100% meaning very much?” Get ready; you will be shocked at what they say. Listen to what Cynthia, Dexter’s mother, says, using the FST Mini Scale in Lesson #2 of your final Module.

Big Ideas: Lesson 3 VideoTroubleshooting�Will�Bring�Intensity:�Can�You�Handle�It?

✔ After you see a brief case history of why Dexter’s case is so challenging, you see the standoff between myself and the parents that I spoke about at the end of your last module (Module 10).

✔ You see what can happen when you play the role of “systems irritant” and begin troubleshooting with your chronically stuck cases? They may initially push back hard, de-regulate you, and want you to back down.

✔ This is made more difficult because this family has defeated so many therapists before Michael and me. And they have underlying marital problems that go deep with resentment and fatigue.

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✔ But if you don’t try, who will? So, after the challenge by the parents, especially mom, what would you do if you were in my shoes? And was I being pushy or just tenacious?

What�Would�You�Do? ✔ Michael is the first to answer and talks about the role of systems irritant and its

importance in restructuring your family when you start troubleshooting “what if?” scenarios.

✔ Caroline then says, “I would pray” and goes on to talk about trust and to ask the family to trust you now.

✔ I agree with Caroline but add the importance of informed consent and introduce the concept of unbalancing.

The�Fallout�of�Change:�No�Drive-Thru�Breakthroughs ✔ There can be a fallout to change when you unbalance your individual, couple, or

family with troubleshooting and/or role-plays.

✔ If this happens, you must rebalance an unbalanced family using the ethnographic interview and then take a one-down position.

✔ You see this one down position in an interview with the parents and the dramatic impact it has on the family.

Please Note: Materials that are included in this course may include interventions and modalities that are beyond your authorized practice as a mental health professional, case manager or parent support liaison. As a professional, you are responsible for reviewing your scope of practice, including activities that are defined in law as beyond the boundaries of practice in accordance with and in compliance with your professions standards.