Module 1 Introduction to Peer Mentoring · 1.8 PEER MENTORING: A WORKSHOP SERIES FOR DIRECT-CARE...

Goal� To orient participants to the roles of a peer mentor and the personal qualities necessary to

being an effective support person.

Time2 hours, 45 minutes (3 hours with closing activity)

Supplies� Name tents (construction or poster paper folded lengthwise)� Three-ring binders: one for each participant, to hold handouts� Two flip charts, two easels, markers, tape� Paper and pencils� Post-It notes

Handouts� Handout 1: “Peer Mentor Training Overview”� Handout 2: “Sample Workshop Agendas”

1

PEER MENTORING: A WORKSHOP SERIES FOR DIRECT-CARE WORKERS IN HOME AND RESIDENTIAL CARE 1.1

Introduction to Peer MentoringModule 1

Activities

1.1 Icebreaker/PartnerIntroductions

1.2 Workshop Overview

1.3 The Role of a Peer Mentor

Break

1.4 The Qualities of an EffectiveSupport Person or TheAttributes of a Peer Mentor

Methods

Pairs work, large-group exercise

Presentation

Small-group work, discussion

Large-group exercise or discussionand individual exercise, small-group work, large-group discussion

Time

30 minutes

30 minutes

45 minutes

15 minutes

45 minutes

1.2 PEER MENTORING: A WORKSHOP SERIES FOR DIRECT-CARE WORKERS IN HOME AND RESIDENTIAL CARE

Module 1: Introduction to Peer Mentoring

� Handout 3: “The Role of a Peer Mentor”� Handout 4: “Bricks for Building a Bridge”� Handout 5: “Attributes of a Peer Mentor”� Handout 6: “Attributes”

Advance PreparationReview teaching materials for each activity.

Arrange chairs and tables in the workshop space so that participants are comfortable, can readilysee the instructors, and can move about easily when shifting from large-group to small-groupactivities. Position the flip charts and easels so they are easily seen by all participants.

Set out binders, paper, and pencils for each participant.

If this is the only module being conducted on this day, plan a closing activity of about 15 minutesto summarize what has been learned, solicit questions and feedback from the participants onthe day’s activities, and to get a sense of how participants are feeling. A sample evaluation formis provided on page I.17.

If Module 2 will be conducted more than one day from now, consider assigning homework—i.e., a practice activity based on this module’s content—for participants to work on until the next meeting.

Activity 1.1

Prepare enough name tents for each participant to have one. Leave them blank on the outside.On the inside, write one word of a pair of words that go together (e.g., salt/pepper, chips/dip,Laurel/Hardy, Cheech/Chong, Romeo/Juliet). Wait to hand out the name tents until you’vebegun the activity.

Prepare a flip chart page for step 4.

Activity 1.2

If the instructor does not work for the sponsoring organization, identify someone from the sponsoring organization to open the workshop and welcome participants. Prepare the speaker to address key points about the importance of peer mentoring in fulfilling the mission of theorganization.

Copy Handout 1, “Peer Mentor Training Overview,” for all participants.

Prepare a flip chart page with the workshop goal and objectives (see step 3), and post it where it can remain throughout the workshop.

Develop an agenda for the workshop, modeled on the samples provided (Handout 2). Place anagenda in each three-ring binder.

Prepare a flip chart page with the day’s agenda (see step 4) and post it where it can remainthroughout the day.



Activity 1.3


Copy Handout 3, “The Role of a Peer Mentor,” for all participants.

Activity 1.4

Choose either option A or option B.

Option A: The Qualities of an Effective Support Person


Copy Handout 4, “Bricks for Building a Bridge” so that each participant can have two bricks; cut out the bricks. Alternately, you can substitute with Post-It notes.

Review Handout 6, “Attributes,” and add or delete attributes to meet your organization’s needsand expectations. Copy the handout for all participants.

Option B: The Attributes of a Peer Mentor

Review Handout 6, “Attributes,” and add or delete attributes to meet your organization’s needsand expectations.

Copy Handouts 5 and 6 (“Attributes of a Mentor” and “Attributes”) for all participants.

Prepare a flip chart page with the list of attributes for step 5.

—Teaching Notes—



1.5

Activity 1.1: Icebreaker/Partner Introductions 30 minutes

Learning OutcomeBy the end of this activity, participants will be able to:

Identify one another by name; and

Begin to practice communication and relationship-building skills with other participants.

Key Content� Often participants do not know one another and are nervous about the workshop and about

meeting new people. An activity that “breaks the ice” is ideal at the beginning.

� Peer mentoring involves building supportive relationships with new direct-care workers. This activity was chosen not only to help participants get over their anxiety, but also to beginbuilding relationships between people who may not know one another.

Activity Steps

Pairs work and large-group exercise (30 minutes)

1. Welcome participants and introduce yourself as the instructor. Explain that, to begin the workshop and help participants start getting to know one another, they will do an exercise called“Mystery Tents.” In this activity, each person will pair up with another participant to interviewthat person and then introduce him or her to the whole group.

2. Distribute name tents and markers and ask each participant to write his or her name on theoutside of the tent.

Teaching TipsInstructors may choose to pair particular people together in order to strengthen and buildrelationships, discourage cliques, and observe interactions between pairs. On a list of participants, identify pairs who do not know each other well. Place one word of the wordpairs next to one participant’s name and the other word next to his or her partner’s. Thendistribute the tents accordingly.

Instructors can participate in this activity. If other instructors will be involved later in theworkshop, they may want to be present for the opening activities and can be introduced by participating in this icebreaker.

3. Give instructions:

Each name tent has a clue written inside it. The clue is one of a pair of words that commonly gotogether, such as salt and pepper.

— Continued next page



Find the person with the other half of your word pair.

Using the questions on the flip chart page, interview each other and be prepared to introduce your partner to the large group.

4. Display the prepared flip chart page with the interview questions and review the list of questions.

5. Ask participants to find and interview their partners.

Teaching TipSet up a “decorating table” with art supplies and encourage participants to design their own name tents during lunch and other breaks. If participants don’t know each other, thisprovides an additional way for them to get to know each other. Name tents will be usedthroughout the workshop, so be sure to collect them at the end of each day.

6. Have partners introduce each other to the large group using the information they gained fromthe interviews.

7. Ask participants to display their name tents wherever they are sitting throughout the workshop.


Activity 1.1, continued

InterviewQuestions

What is your name?Does your name have astory behind it?How long have you been adirect-care worker?Describe two things youlike best about yourwork.



Activity 1.2: Workshop Overview 30 minutes

Learning OutcomesBy the end of this activity, participants will be able to:

Describe the goal and objectives of the peer mentor training; and

Explain the importance of peer mentoring in their organizations.

Key Content� The goal of this training is to prepare participants to be peer mentors. Mentors provide assis-

tance and support to newly hired direct-care staff so the new staff will succeed in their jobs.

� The objectives of this training are to enable participants to:

� Explain the roles and activities of a peer mentor;

� Build supportive relationships with mentees;

� Communicate effectively with mentees;

� Use mentoring skills to help mentees solve problems; and

� Document and pass along information about mentee performance, when appropriate.

Activity Steps

Presentation (30 minutes)

1. The instructor describes his or her role in the training.

Teaching TipIf other instructors will assist later in other workshop modules, note their names and roles at this time.

2. Congratulate participants for being selected for this training. Explain the importance of peermentors in their organization(s).

Teaching TipAs noted in Advance Preparation, if the instructor is not a part of the host organization, thisstep should be carried out by representatives from the organization(s) that employ the participants. Steps 1 and 2 may be reversed in this case.




3. Distribute and review Handout 1, “Peer Mentor Training Overview.” Explain the training goalsand objectives, referring to the flip chart page prepared before the session. Explain to partici-pants that they can begin to build a resource guide by collecting their handouts in their binders.

Teaching TipHandout 1, “Peer Mentor Training Overview,” lists the same training topics as in the flip chart page’s objectives but in a shorter, simpler presentation.

4. Have participants open their binders to Handout 2, “Workshop Agenda,” describing the scheduled training. Briefly review the full agenda, including the days and times the group willmeet. Then go over today’s agenda, referring to the posted flip chart page. Address logisticalissues such as timing of breaks, restroom locations, and potential or actual transportation problems. Ask if participants have any questions, and encourage participants to discuss anyindividual concerns with you during the first break.


Day 1 Agenda(Sample)

Icebreaker 9:00-9:30Workshop Overview 9:30-10:00The Roles of a Peer Mentor 10:00-10:45Break 10:45-11:00The Qualities of an Effective Support Person 11:00-11:45Closing 11:45-12:00

Goal and Objectives of TrainingGoal: To prepare participants to be peer mentors.Objectives: Participants will be able to:• Explain the roles and activities of a peer mentor• Build supportive relationships with mentees• Communicate effectively with mentees• Help mentees solve problems• Document and pass along information about

mentee performance


Activity 1.3. The Role of a Peer Mentor 45 minutes


Describe some of the challenges facing new direct-care workers as they begin their jobs;

Describe how having a supportive coworker can help address those challenges; and

List the role and functions of a peer mentor.

Key Content� The early days and weeks as a direct-care worker can be very challenging, no matter how well

trained that person may be. These challenges can be personal, job-related, or both. Many new aides or assistants feel so overwhelmed by the new challenges that they quit their jobsduring this initial period of work.

� The goal of peer mentoring is to have more experienced workers (peer mentors) help newerones (mentees) feel comfortable and succeed on the job, through building supportive relationships between mentors and mentees.

� The roles of a peer mentor include:

� Modeling good skills and attitudes for caregiving and communication;

� Explaining agency rules and policies that may be confusing to the new employee;

� Helping the mentee find solutions to personal problems that may be hindering job performance; and

� Providing encouragement for the mentee to get through the early challenges until he or she is more comfortable and skilled with the job.

Activity Steps

Teaching TipsThis activity assumes that the mentors will be working primarily with new employees. If thisis not the case in participants’ organizations, this activity may be skipped or adjusted to fittheir needs.

If mentoring is new to an organization, this activity is an excellent way to introduce all staffto the benefits of a mentoring program. It can be used with small groups throughout theorganization to build buy-in for the program.






Small-group work (30 minutes)

1. Explain that this activity is designed to help participants consider the challenges of starting anew job as a direct-care worker and the ways in which a peer mentor can help a new worker toovercome these challenges. To begin, each participant will have two minutes to share the story of his or her first week on a new job.

2. Divide the participants into groups of three to four. Ask the groups to designate a reporter. The reporter’s job is to take brief notes about group members’ experiences and feelings aboutbeginning new jobs, and then summarize and share the findings in the large-group discussion.Explain that everyone will be asked to act as a reporter during the workshop and that groupmembers can help one another in doing this.

3. Post the prepared flip chart page with the following questions to help each person tell thestory of his or her first week. Read the questions together.

4. Allow about 15 minutes for sharing. After 10 minutes, remind participants that they have 5 minutes left to note the common experiences and feelings of the group.

5. Reconvene into the larger group. Ask the reporters to share the common experiences and feelings. Write these on a blank flip chart page.

6. After all groups have reported, ask reporters or other participants to relate the experiencesthat were less common, and add them to the list.

Teaching TipPositive experiences and feelings are important to share, but in order to develop an under-standing of the peer mentor’s role, participants should also acknowledge the more negativeones, such as feeling overwhelmed, “lost,” unsure, lonely, out of place, or not welcomed. Ifthe uncomfortable feelings are not mentioned, probe with questions to bring them out.


Your First Weekon a New Job

What was it like?(Describe specific events or feelings.)What did you expect?Did it match your expectations?Highlights?Challenges?



Discussion (15 minutes)

7. Ask:

Which of these experiences or feelings were uncomfortable or disappointing?

What could have helped address some of the challenging issues or emotions that came up?

8. After several responses, go around the room and ask each participant to respond to the question,

How could an experienced coworker have helped you, either in the first week or later?

Note responses on a new flip chart page.

9. Distribute Handout 3, “The Role of a Peer Mentor.” Compare the roles in the handout withwhat the group listed in the previous steps. Explain that the goal of peer mentoring is to haveexperienced workers (mentors) help newer ones (mentees) feel comfortable and succeed on the job, through building supportive relationships. Mention that this handout is an especiallyimportant one because it presents the various activities mentors do in connection with buildingsupportive relationships with mentees. The entire workshop will help participants develop andimprove upon the skills needed to carry out each of these roles.


How could anexperienced

coworker havehelped?



Activity 1.4 Option A: The Qualities of an Effective Support Person 45 minutes

Options: This activity can be done in either of two ways, depending on the comfort level ofparticipants. Option A, “The Qualities of an Effective Support Person,” is more personal andreflective; if the group is comfortable with personal sharing, this activity is recommended.Option B, “The Attributes of a Peer Mentor,” which begins on page 1.17, is more abstract.


Describe the qualities of a supportive person, by identifying and describing people who havebeen supportive in their own lives or by describing ways in which they have supported others;

Categorize these qualities according to how competent the support person was and howmuch safety he or she inspired in the person seeking support; and

Explain how these qualities contribute to the level of trust a mentee might feel toward the mentor.

Key Content� Supportive relationships are based on trust. People generally trust someone when they feel

that a person has skills or experience they respect (competence) and that the person is someone they feel safe in approaching about a problem.

� Many roles of a peer mentor require competence and the ability to help mentees feel safe so they become comfortable revealing thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

� Mentors must take the active role in initiating supportive relationships with mentees.Supportive relationships are ones in which the mentees feel they can rely on their mentors to help them become successful employees.

Activity Steps

Large-group exercise (45 minutes)

1. Post the flip chart page with the “support bridge” drawing. Explain that the purpose of thisexercise is to explore the personal qualities that help build supportive relationships, whether




between friends, family members, or colleagues. Explain that the river in the drawing representsa difficult time or situation; the bridge represents help from others to get through (or over) that situation.

2. Ask participants to think of a time when they faced a challenging situation and when they felt supported by a friend, family member, or colleague. Ask them to think to about the following questions:

What did that person do or say to make you feel supported?

What qualities did that person possess (or what was it about that person) that encouraged you to go to him or her for help, advice, or support?

3. Ask for several volunteers to describe their personal situations and the support they received.Ask the people sharing to identify the qualities of the support person that encouraged them toseek help from that person.

Teaching OptionCaregivers are often the support-givers within their families and personal relationships. Thus,some participants may not be able to identify when others have provided support for them.Some trainees may describe feeling unsupported and experiencing burnout as a result.

If this is true for participants, reverse the question and ask:

How do you support others in emotionally stressful situations? What do you think it isabout you that makes people keep coming back?

Follow this by inviting participants to think of the group as a mutual support system as theygrow and develop together during the training, learning new skills and adopting new waysof thinking and considering their work

4. Distribute two bricks (Handout 4) to participants, and ask them, based on their own experi-ence, to write one supportive quality on each of them. Then ask everyone to come up and tapetheir bricks to the support bridge.

5. After everyone has posted his or her bricks, ask for volunteers to say what they wrote on thebricks. After a few responses, read aloud the other qualities posted but not yet mentioned.

Support Bridge

Activity 1.4 Option A, continued



6. Ask participants to identify similarities or themes in the qualities written on the bricks. After a few responses, ask which qualities relate to a helper’s skill level or competence in doingtasks and which to the level of emotional safety or security they felt in going to that person.Summarize by noting that it takes trust to build a supportive relationship, and trust is built on a combination of belief in a person’s competence and their ability to inspire feelings of emotional safety.

Teaching TipIt may help to give some examples of these two categories.

Examples of skill level or competence include demonstrated proficiency as a direct-careworker, good use of communication skills such as listening, and prior history of solving problems—“she’s helped me in the past,” or “he knows how to solve my problems,” etc.

Examples of inspiring feelings of emotional safety or personal security include feelings ofbeing close to a person, knowing a person for a long time, sharing common ideas orlifestyle, knowing the person has been through similar situations and might be sympathetic,believing that the person will not tell others about the situation.

7. Remind participants that they have already demonstrated competence in caregiving skills—that’s why they were selected to be peer mentors. Thus, the training focuses on developing andenhancing communication and relationship-building skills. Such skills will help mentors createrelationships with mentees in which mentees feel safe and trust the mentors.

Teaching OptionDistribute Handout 6, “Attributes.” Briefly discuss these qualities in light of the exercise justcompleted, and encourage participants to refer to the handout in the future to rememberkey points of this activity.

Note: Handout 5 is not used in this version of Activity 1.4.




Activity 1.4 Option B: The Attributes of a Peer Mentor 45 minutes

Options: This activity can be done in either of two ways, depending on the comfort level ofparticipants. Option A, “The Qualities of an Effective Support Person,” which begins on page1.13, is more personal and reflective; if the group is comfortable with personal sharing, thisactivity is recommended. Option B, “The Attributes of a Peer Mentor,” is more abstract.


Describe the attributes of a peer mentor;

Explain how these attributes contribute to effective peer mentoring; and

Identify their own attributes and, thus, begin building self-awareness.

Key Content� It is assumed that all participants are skilled and effective at what they do in their current

roles as direct-care workers since they were chosen to become peer mentors.

� In addition to the knowledge and skills needed to be a good caregiver, many special qualitiesor characteristics—or attributes—contribute to effectively carrying out the role and functionsof a peer mentor. Identifying the most important attributes can help mentors further exploretheir role and functions and focus on developing those attributes throughout the workshop.

Activity Steps

Discussion and individual exercise (10 minutes)

1. Review the points under Key Content. In this activity, participants will focus on the specialqualities, skills, and characteristics—“attributes”—that are uniquely required of peer mentors. Note that most participants already possess some of these attributes, which is also why theywere chosen for this training.

Teaching TipThis exercise allows the group to think more deeply about the functions and role of a mentor while also providing valuable feedback to the instructor about how well participantsunderstand what is expected of them in this role.

2. Ask participants:

Considering the roles discussed previously (Activity 1.3), what are the basic qualities or attributes you think are necessary to be a peer mentor?




3. After a few responses, distribute Handouts 5 and 6, “Attributes of a Mentor” and “Attributes.”Have participants read over the list of attributes in Handout 6. Ask them to take 2-3 minutes toselect the five they think are the most important and write them down on Handout 5.


4. Ask participants to form the same groups as in Activity 1.3 and to take 10 minutes to composea collective “top five” list to share in the large group.

Teaching TipWhile the groups are meeting, circulate around the room and make sure everybody under-stands the meaning of the words on the attributes list.


5. Reconvene the group, and post the flip chart page with the attributes listed on the left-handside of the page. Ask a volunteer from each group to place a check mark or Post-It note next toeach attribute in its top five.

6. After all groups have indicated their five attributes, begin by acknowledging how difficult it is to come up with only five most important attributes for mentors to possess because manyattributes and qualities are key to mentoring. Remind participants of the purpose of this exercise:to focus discussion on how and why these attributes contribute to effective mentoring.

7. Refer to the flip chart page with the check marks or Post-It notes and ask the entire group towork together to identify the five most important attributes—i.e., which ones received the mostvotes. Circle those five attributes. Encourage brief discussion about why these five rose above the other choices.

Activity 1.4 Option B, continued

Attributes• Caring, kind• Cooperative, helpful• Competent• Decisive• Dependable, reliable• Efficient• Friendly• Gets along with all kinds of people• Good communicator• Honest• Likes people with disabilities and elders,

understands their needs• Organized• Responsible and accountable



Teaching TipsQuickly assess the most popular attributes. Sometimes the instructor will need to decidewhich attributes are included in the top five. Be flexible about ties and allow more than five attributes if participants make good cases for them.

Bring to participants’ attention any attributes that weren’t noted or were minimally acknowledged but that are crucial in peer mentoring—e.g., getting along with all kinds ofpeople, being dependable and reliable, being a good communicator.

8. For each of the five attributes that are identified as most important, ask the group:

Why is this attribute important in peer mentoring?

In what situations would it be applied?

Teaching TipSample questions for specific attributes include:

When do you think it will be important to be honest in a mentoring relationship?

When is it good to be friendly with a mentee?

What does “good communicator” mean to you, and how might this come into play in a relationship with a mentee?

How will a mentor show she is dependable or reliable?

Why will a mentor need to get along with different kids of people?

9. Ask participants to think about all the attributes, and share with the person sitting next to them:

What attributes do you possess that will help you succeed as a peer mentor?

Which ones do you think you would want to strengthen?

10. After a few minutes of sharing in pairs, ask participants:

Based on this discussion, what questions do you have about the role or attributes of a mentor?

How are you feeling about being a peer mentor?


Goal� To increase participants’ appreciation of effective communication, and to allow them to

practice the key skills of providing clear directions, active listening, and paraphrasing.

Time3 hours, 15 minutes (4 hours with opening and closing activities)

Supplies� Flip chart, markers, and tape� Blank paper, pencils� Post-It notes� Activity 2.1, Option A: Loaf of bread, jar of peanut butter, jar of jelly, knives,

napkins or paper towels

2


Communication Skills #1: Active Listening

Module 2

Activities

2.1 Exploring Verbal Communication:Making a Peanut Butter and JellySandwich or Back-to-BackCommunication

2.2 Exploring NonverbalCommunication

2.3 Paraphrasing

Break

2.4 Blocks to Listening

Methods

Large-group exercise, discussion or pairs work, discussion

Demonstration role plays, pairs work, discussion

Interactive presentation, demon-stration role play, large-group exercise, pairs work, discussion

Interactive presentation, demon-stration role play, large-group exer-cise, small-group work, discussion

Time

30 minutes

45 minutes

45 minutes

15 minutes

60 minutes


Module 2: Communication Skills #1: Active Listening

Handouts� Handout 7: “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring”� Handout 8: “Back-to-Back Geometric Designs” (five designs)� Handout 9: “Active Listening”� Handout 10: “Lead-Ins for Paraphrasing”� Handout 11: “Paraphrasing: Definition and Purposes”� Handout 12: “Paraphrase Practice”� Handout 13: “Real Listening Is...”� Handout 14: “Blocks to Listening”

Advance PreparationReview teaching materials for each activity.

If this module starts a new day in the training program, prepare a flip chart page with the day’sagenda, and post it where it can remain throughout the day. Also plan an opening activity of 15to 30 minutes, with a warm-up exercise and recap of what was covered in the previous session.Review the homework, if assigned.

Plan a closing activity of about 15 minutes to summarize what has been learned, solicit questionsand feedback from the participants on the day’s activities, and to get a sense of how participantsare feeling. A sample evaluation form is provided on page I.17.

If the next module will be conducted more than one day from now, consider assigning a home-work—i.e., a practice activity based on this module’s content—for participants to work on untilthe next meeting.

Activity 2.1

Copy Handout 7, “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring,” for all participants.

Review the two exercises and decide whether to conduct option A, “Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich” or option B, “Back-to-Back Communication.”

Option A: Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Gather the materials for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and choose a place to conduct the activity.

Option B: Back-to-Back Communication

Make enough copies of Handout 8, “Back-to-Back Geometric Designs” to have one design foreach pair of participants. If you have more than ten participants, some drawings will need to be used by more than one pair, so prepare more than one copy of those drawings. You may wish to copy each design on a different color paper so each is readily identifiable and won’t bedistributed to pairs sitting within hearing distance of each other.

Prepare a flip chart page for step 5, with the rules for the back-to-back game.



Activity 2.2

This activity begins with demonstration role plays. If you are the sole facilitator, identify a partic-ipant or another staff member to help with the role plays. Describe the purpose of the activityand the other person’s role. Ask the person to think about something important that happenedrecently to him or her that can safely be shared with the group. This activity works best if thespeaker shares something that is current and important, but the person should also be comfort-able sharing this story with the whole group.

Copy Handout 9, “Active Listening,” for all participants.

Activity 2.3

If you do not have a co-instructor, ask a participant different from the one in the previous activity to assist you with the role play in step 1. Describe the purpose of the activity and theother person’s role. Explain that he or she should prepare to have a conversation with you abouta problem he or she has recently resolved.

Copy Handouts 10 and 11, “Lead-Ins for Paraphrasing” and “Paraphrasing: Definition andPurposes,” for all participants.

Prepare a flip chart page for step 5 with the definition and purposes of paraphrasing (seeHandout 11).

Read the list of paraphrase statements in Handout 12, “Paraphrase Practice,” in advance, andselect at least three examples for step 7 of the large-group discussion. Write each statement on a separate flip chart page.

Depending on how large the group, make one or two copies of Handout 12, “ParaphrasePractice.” Cut the paper into strips, with one example on each strip. Prepare enough examples to be able to give each participant one or two.

Activity 2.4

If there is no co-instructor, ask a participant volunteer to help with the opening demonstrationrole play. Referring to Handout 14, “Blocks to Listening,” explain that he or she will do two roleplays with you, following the model of the “rehearsing” and “filtering” examples. In the first roleplay, the volunteer can introduce him- or herself (not the character in the illustration); in thesecond role play, he or she can use the text as given in the handout.

Copy Handouts 13 and 14, “Real Listening Is...” and “Blocks to Listening,” for all participants.

Make an extra copy of “Blocks to Listening” and cut it in strips so that each block is on a separate strip.

Prepare a flip chart page for step 11 that lists the ten listening blocks.



Activity 2.1 Option A: Exploring Verbal Communication—Making a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich 30 minutes

Options: There are two options for meeting the learning outcomes identified for this activity. The instructor is encouraged to read both options A and B (page 2.7) carefully, and choose the one that will work best for the group.


Describe the challenges involved in strictly verbal communication;

Explain the importance of being clear, objective, and specific in verbal communication; and

Explain the importance of asking questions when information is not clear.

Key Content� Communication is very important in peer mentoring. Focused, precise listening and speaking

are essential. However, few people receive instruction in the verbal communication skillsrequired for effective communication.

� Explaining things in clear, simple language is an essential communication skill. Also importantis the ability to ask questions to confirm or clarify what a speaker has said.

Activity Steps

Large-group exercise and discussion (30 minutes)

1. Explain that verbal communication is a necessary skill for peer mentoring. However, few of us receive instruction in the skills required for effective verbal communication. In this activity,participants will explore challenges to communication by telling the instructor how to make apeanut butter and jelly sandwich.

Teaching TipYou can have a bit of fun with this by asking participants to imagine that you have nevermade a sandwich of this nature and are really looking forward to trying one, since everyonehas told you they are quite yummy and easy to make. Inform the class you are not going togive up—no matter what happens!

2. Ask participants to give only one instruction at a time. Explain that you will not be able to askany questions and will do exactly what they say.




Teaching TipsFollow the directions exactly and literally. Don’t clarify, paraphrase, or ask questions to getclearer instructions.

Following exact instructions often results in doing things wrong, until the group providesclear instructions. For example, if a participant tells the instructor to get out two pieces ofbread, the instructor could rip open the loaf of bread rather than untie the bag.

3. Continue the exercise until participants begin providing clear instructions. This may happenafter just a few minutes, or it may be necessary to continue the exercise right through cleaningup after the sandwich is made.

4. Facilitate a discussion about the purpose of this activity and what was learned, using some orall of these questions. [Desired responses are noted in brackets.]

Has anyone been in a situation like this in which misunderstandings can happen withinseemingly simple communications?

What is the goal of this exercise and of communication, in general? [To be understood.]

When did the task become easier? [When the instructions became specific enough for the sandwich to be made; i.e., when the instructor and person giving the instructionunderstood each other.]

How long did that take?

What can you do if information is not clear? [Ask questions to clarify.]

How can you communicate to another person what you heard them say? [Repeat in yourown words, or paraphrase.]

How would this exercise have been different if I had repeated the instructions in my ownwords or asked clarifying questions before following instructions?

5. Distribute Handout 7, “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring,” and lead a discussionabout it. Point out that good communication skills—verbal as well as nonverbal— are requiredfor peer mentoring. Although these skills usually occur together in a normal interaction, they are treated individually in this training in order to better understand and practice them. Thismay feel awkward at times, but they will be combined and practiced as a whole toward the endof the training.

Teaching TipHandout 7 provides an overview of all the communication skills highlighted in this trainingand a context for understanding that, although the skills will be practiced separately, theywork together to result in effective communication. This concept will make sense to partici-pants if they have already had training in these skills. If not, this information may be moreconfusing than helpful at this point, and you may elect to save this handout for Module 4, to use as a summary.

Note: Handout 8 is not used in this version of Activity 2.1.

Activity 2.1 Option A, continued



Activity 2.1 Option B: Exploring Verbal Communication—Back-to-back Communication 30 minutes

Options: There are two options for meeting the learning outcomes identified for this activity. The instructor is encouraged to read both options A (page 2.5) and B carefully, and choose the one that will work best for the group.


Describe the challenges involved in strictly verbal communication;

Explain the importance of being clear, objective, and specific in verbal communication; and

Explain the importance of asking questions when information is not clear.

Key Content� Communication is very important in peer mentoring. Focused, precise listening and speaking

are essential. However, few people receive instruction in the verbal communication skillsrequired for effective communication.

� Explaining things in clear, simple language is an essential communication skill. Also importantis the ability to ask questions to confirm or clarify what a speaker has said.

Activity Steps

Pairs work (15 minutes)

1. Explain that, in this activity, participants will have a chance to practice their verbal communication skills.

2. Divide the group into pairs, and space them throughout the room. Explain that one person in each pair will have information to be communicated to the other person. In describing howcommunication happens, researchers usually refer to a “message giver” and a “message receiver.”Ask the pairs to quickly decide who will be the message giver and the message receiver.

Teaching TipThe larger the room, the better. Pairs need to be well spread out so they can’t see oneanother’s drawings and so that partners can hear each other easily. In a small room, thenoise level can become very distracting.

3. Ask each pair to move their chairs so they are sitting back-to-back. Neither partner should beable to see the other.




4. Explain that each message giver will be given a paper with a geometric design on it. The message receiver will get a blank piece of paper and a pencil. The giver will describe the design,and the receiver will have 5 minutes to draw it. Partners are encouraged to work as a team andtalk as much as they want to complete the task, without looking at each other’s papers.

5. Post the prepared flip chart page with the rules of this game, and ask if there are any questionsbefore you hand out the designs:

6. Ask the givers to raise their hands, and pass out Handout 8, “Back-to-Back GeometricDesigns,” giving one design (face down) to each. Distribute pencils and blank paper to thereceivers. When every pair has their papers, ask them to begin and allow 5 minutes for drawing.

Teaching TipsIf there are more than ten participants (five pairs), make sure pairs using the same designare not sitting next to one another.

Circulate throughout the room once the activity begins, strictly enforcing the rules andreviewing the instructions if confusion arises. Mentally note specific interactions that may beused for the large-group discussion—for example, the use of paraphrasing.

As you walk around the room, refrain from commenting on any of the drawings. Don’t giveany clues. Diffuse tension by reminding everyone it’s just a learning game and encouragingpartners to be patient with each other.

7. When all pairs have finished their drawings, ask partners to turn around and show each othertheir two drawings. Allow a minute or two for partners to react and respond to each other.

Teaching TipWhen the partners finally turn around and show each other their drawings, expect loudexclamations and laughter. Allow time for this informal debriefing.


8. Ask pairs to turn their chairs so that everyone is facing the instructor. Partners should be sitting next to each other.

Rules for Back-to-Back

Game• Remain seated in

back-to-back position.

• Do not look at eachother’s drawings.

• No exceptions!




9. Ask each pair, one at a time, to hold up their drawings so the rest of the group can see them.Whatever the accuracy of the drawing made to match the original, ask the partners to report on the process they used—what worked well and what could have improved the outcome.

Teaching TipsIf there isn’t time for all pairs to report, select those who used different approaches forworking together on their drawings. Include ones whose drawings were not at all close tothe original as well as those who came pretty close.

Keep a light tone in this activity, especially if there are any perfectionists in the group. Beclear that the game is meant to be a fun activity as well as a learning experience. Blaminganyone for an “inaccurate” drawing ruins the effect of this activity. Participants can learn asmuch, if not more, about communication from inaccurate drawings as from accurate ones.

Make sure both partners get a chance to speak. If either partner starts blaming the other,gently interrupt and paraphrase the feelings that led the partner to blame the other (e.g.,“So it sounds like it was frustrating to you that you didn’t feel you were getting enoughinformation.”). Remind the group that the drawing was a team effort, since communicationhappens between two people.

To manage any anger that arises between partners, ask if each did his or her best. Point outthat if both tried their best and the result is not as expected, there may be something wrongwith the situation. Ask whether something was missing or not working right in this situation.Can they think of similar situations in which they might become frustrated with a partner orcoworker because something about the situation doesn’t support communication?

10. As each pair reports, highlight the verbal communication skills that worked and that didn’t.Note the approaches that worked on a flip chart page. Point out the challenges of explainingthings in words alone, and mention that sometimes it works better to show someone how to dosomething than to tell them. Also, we often receive communication cues through nonverbal signs.

CommunicationTechniques That Work




11. Distribute Handout 7, “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring,” and lead a discussionabout it. Point out that good communication skills—verbal as well as nonverbal—are requiredfor peer mentoring. Although these skills usually occur together in a normal interaction, they aretreated individually in this training in order to better understand and practice them. This mayfeel awkward at times, but they will be combined and practiced as a whole toward the end of the training.

Teaching TipHandout 7 provides an overview of all the communication skills highlighted in this trainingand a context for understanding that, although the skills will be practiced separately, theywork together to result in effective communication. This concept will make sense to partici-pants if they have already had training in these skills. If not, this information may be moreconfusing than helpful at this point, and you may elect to save this handout for Module 4, to use as a summary.





Activity 2.2: Exploring NonverbalCommunication 45 minutes


Recognize the difference between poor listening and effective, or active, listening;

Describe the impact of poor listening vs. active listening in any interaction;

Describe how nonverbal communication contributes to active listening; and

Explain the vital importance of active listening in peer mentoring.

Key Content� Good listening is essential to clear, effective communication. Everyone has the capacity to

listen effectively and can improve through practice.

� Active listening—i.e., listening with full attention to another person—is a skill that must be learned and practiced since it is rarely taught or experienced. Active listening requires constant, conscious effort. It involves:

� Using attentive body language;

� Paraphrasing—or repeating back in one’s own words what a speaker said; and

� Asking clarifying questions to gather information and ensure mutual understanding.

� Active listening is a vital underlying skill in peer mentoring because:

� When people listen with their full attention, they remember and understand more of what is being communicated. On the other hand, when people listen inattentively, they miss agreat deal of what is being communicated; and

� Being listened to attentively feels caring and helpful to a speaker. Not being listened to, orbeing listened to in an inattentive manner, feels hurtful and unhelpful.

� “Body language,” the focus of Activity 2.2, refers to the way people communicate nonverbally,through postures, facial expressions, gestures, and movement. Body language can communi-cate more clearly than words and is a key indicator of whether someone is listening or not.Since people often respond to body language rather than to words, it is necessary to becomeaware of one’s own body language and learn to use this type of communication effectively.



Activity Steps

Demonstration role plays and discussion (10 minutes)

1. Ask the participant volunteer (see Advance Preparation) or coinstructor to come forward, andexplain that you have asked this person to tell you about something important that recently happened to him or her. Note that this session is about nonverbal communication, and ask participants to observe what you are communicating to the speaker without using words.

2. Conduct the role play for 2 minutes. As the speaker tells his or her story, the listener should act increasingly distracted, demonstrating poor listening skills.

Teaching TipIn this first role play, exaggerate poor listening skills by avoiding eye contact, fidgeting,checking your watch or the clock, playing with your papers, or checking your cell phone. In fact, you should pay enough attention to your watch or the clock that you can stop therole play yourself after 2 minutes.

One of the challenges of being the only instructor is making it clear to the participants (andto yourself!) when you are acting as a role player and when you are being the instructor. You may need a few moments of transition between those roles. Some suggestions for transitioning include:

� Stand in different places when you’re facilitating a discussion from when you’re in a role play.

� Use a prop—e.g., a hat or scarf or sweater—to indicate when you’re in the role play.

� Make a comment to the group about the transition—e.g. “Okay, now I’m back being yourinstructor” or “Okay, the role play is over—now let’s discuss what happened.”

3. After the role play, debrief with the following questions:

Ask participants:

How well do you think I was listening? How could you tell?

What do you think I was communicating to the speaker?

Write participants’ observations on a blank flip chart page.



Continue the discussion, asking:

How do you think my behavior made the speaker feel?

Ask the speaker:

How did you feel?

Share your own experience—i.e., that it is difficult to remember what the speaker said, that the 2 minutes felt very long, etc.

4. Apologize to the participant for your poor listening, and ask him or her to start over again.This time demonstrate good listening skills. Ask for a participant to watch the time and to saywhen 2 minutes has passed.

Teaching TipsDemonstrate good nonverbal listening skills by keeping eye contact, leaning toward thespeaker, nodding, using appropriate facial expressions, and saying things like “uh-huh,” “really,” “okay.”

It may be tempting to ask questions of the person telling the story, but to fully demonstratethe effectiveness and impact of nonverbal communication, refrain from doing this.

5. After the role play, debrief with the following questions:

Ask participants:

How well do you think I was listening this time? How could you tell?

Now, what message do you think I was communicating to the speaker?

Write participants’ observations on a new flip chart page.

Ask the speaker:

How was your experience different this time?

Also share how your experience as a listener differed.




6. Explain that the list of observations from the first role play describe poor listening and thosefrom the second role play, effective, or active, listening. Add the titles “Poor Listening” and “ActiveListening” on the respective flip chart pages.

7. Summarize by noting that good listening is essential to peer mentoring, both to show respectand caring for the speaker and to be sure to hear everything the mentee is saying. Note the role of body language in letting people know you are listening and in helping to stay focused. (See Key Content.)

Pairs work (25 minutes)

8. Explain that participants will now have an opportunity to experience for themselves theimpact of poor vs. active listening and to practice using effective body language. Have partici-pants pair up, preferably with someone they have not worked with yet.

9. Give instructions and then ask participants to role-play:

In pairs, agree on one partner to be the speaker, the other the listener.

Speakers should think of something personally important and safe to share. They will speakfor 2 minutes.

Listeners should use their body language to exaggerate poor listening. They may refer to the“Poor Listening” flip chart page for ideas.

Teaching TipSome participants may become angry when they are blatantly not being listened to. Be prepared to acknowledge anger or other emotions, and remind participants that this is anexercise—the poor listeners in this activity are simply playing a role.

10. After 2 minutes, ask the speakers to stop. Both members of the pair should briefly share with each other how they felt.

11. In the large group, debrief with the following questions:

Ask the speakers:

How did it make you feel to not be listened to?

What happened to your story while you were telling it?

Ask the “listeners”:

How did you feel in your role as “non-listener”?

Do any of you remember what you were told?

12. Repeat the exercise (steps 8-10), but this time, ask the listener to use active listening skills(referring to the flip chart page, if necessary) and to pay careful attention. Ask the same debriefingquestions (except asking how it felt to be a “listener”), giving participants an opportunity to talkabout how this role play felt and how it was different.

13. Acknowledge that it is common for people not to listen from time to time. Listening fully isactually very difficult in every situation. Ask participants to think about their work and to shareexamples of situations in which they are often only half-listening.




Teaching TipTo make it easier for participants to acknowledge the times at work when they don’t fully listen, the instructor may want to own not listening fully all the time and share examplesfrom personal experience.


14. Summarize the primary points participants have made (i.e., the negative feelings that cameup when not being listened to and the satisfaction of being well listened to).

15. Distribute and review Handout 9, “Active Listening.” Point out that people rarely use activelistening because it is not taught very often. But since active listening is a crucial element inbuilding relationships, this training focuses on it. Encourage participants to make an effort topractice active listening through good nonverbal communication at home as well as at work.Note that the second and third skills described—paraphrasing and asking open-endedquestions—will be addressed in later in the training.




Activity 2.3 Paraphrasing 45 minutes


Define and demonstrate paraphrasing; and

Explain the importance of paraphrasing for effective communication and peer mentoring.

Key Content� Paraphrasing means stating in your own words what you think someone else has just said.

The purposes are to confirm or clarify the message the speaker is trying to communicate andto affirm that you have heard him or her.

� Paraphrasing improves communication in four important ways:

� People deeply appreciate feeling heard (recall Activity 2.2.);

� Paraphrasing prevents miscommunication. False assumptions, errors, and misinterpretationscan be corrected on the spot;

� When paraphrasing, it’s difficult to get distracted because the focus is on clearly under-standing what the other person is saying; and

� Paraphrasing can be used to de-escalate emotionally charged communications because the focus is on clarifying information rather than on reacting to the situation.

Activity Steps

Interactive presentation and demonstration role play (15 minutes)

1. Explain that in this activity, participants will further strengthen their listening skills. Ask theparticipant volunteer for this session to come forward (see Advance Preparation). Explain thatyou and the volunteer are going to have a conversation about a problem the volunteer recentlyresolved.

2. Ask the volunteer to begin talking. After a minute or so, stop the speaker and repeat back inyour own words what you heard the speaker say. The speaker should say if you understood correctly, and then either clarify or continue the story. Repeat this sequence two or three times.End the role-play after about five minutes.

Teaching TipDon’t use the word “paraphrasing” in these initial steps. The idea is to show participants that paraphrasing is something they may already routinely do in a conversation. If the wordis new to participants, they may feel intimidated by it and not realize this is something theyalready do.





What did I do after listening to parts of the speaker’s story?

What did the speaker do when I did not get the story exactly right?

What effect do you think this repeating and clarifying had on the conversation?

4. Explain that repeating in one’s own words what a person has said is called “paraphrasing.” Ask participants to name some of the words and phrases they heard the listener use to beginparaphrasing during the role play. Write these on a flip chart page entitled “Lead-Ins forParaphrasing.” Ask for other ideas about additional phrases they might use, and write thesedown, too. Distribute Handout 10, “Lead-Ins for Paraphrasing,” and explain that these are suggestions to begin paraphrasing statements they hear. Note that they already suggested some of these statements.

5. Post the flip chart page with the definition and purposes of paraphrasing. Read and discusstogether how the definition applies to the demonstration. Refer to participants’ list of phrases,and point out this is something they may already do in conversations.

Lead-Ins forParaphrasing

ParaphrasingDefinition:Stating in your ownwords what someonehas just said.Purposes:• Confirm or clarify

what the other person means

• Acknowledge that you have heard theother person




6. Pass out Handout 11, “Paraphrasing: Definition and Purposes,” and discuss the points abouthow paraphrasing contributes to more effective communication.


7. Explain that participants will now apply paraphrasing to a peer mentoring situation. Post oneof the prepared flip chart pages with a statement from Handout 12, “Paraphrase Practice” (seeAdvance Preparation). Explain that this statement is something a worker might say to his or herpeer mentor at the beginning of an interaction.

8. Ask for volunteers to make suggestions about how to paraphrase this statement, using some ofthe lead-ins they discussed. Help participants to find restatements in their own words and avoidparaphrases that are judgmental (see Teaching Tips). Continue until you have a few differentparaphrases for this statement.

Teaching TipsWhile difficult and awkward initially, encourage participants to use their own words in paraphrasing. For example, if the original statement is “I got a write-up for no good reason,”a paraphrase could be, “So you think you were written up unfairly.”

Some paraphrases imply negative judgments, either through tone of voice or choice ofwords. For example, judgmental versions of the above statement could be: “So you thinkyou’ve never done anything wrong here” or “So you think you’re too good to get written up.” If this happens during the activity, ask if participants recognize that their paraphrase may sound judgmental to a mentee. A hint that can help with this—ask them to imagine asupervisor saying such a statement to them. Does it feel respectful and accurate, or hurtful?

9. Continue with several more statements until participants understand the concept of paraphrasing.

Pairs work and discussion (20 minutes)

Teaching OptionWith eight or fewer participants, it’s possible to continue with the large-group discussion. Act as a mentee and say one statement to each trainee, giving him or her an opportunity to respond by paraphrasing.

I really don’t getalong with all thepeople I take careof—maybe thisisn’t the job for me.




10. Distribute one or two statements from Handout 12, “Paraphrase Practice,” to each participant(see Advance Preparation). Ask participants to team up with someone they haven’t worked withbefore. One person should read their statement as if he or she were a mentee talking with a mentor, and the other should paraphrase it, as if he or she were the mentor. They can then discuss the paraphrase statement briefly, in order to help each other paraphrase effectively.Switch and continue until they have paraphrased all the statements they were given.

Teaching TipIf participants appear to have problems with reading some of the more complex statements,use only the shorter ones.

11. After participants have completed their work, ask each pair to demonstrate for the largegroup at least one of the paraphrases they worked on.

Teaching TipEncourage participants’ efforts, while making sure their paraphrasing is effective (i.e., notsimply repeating and not being judgmental). If necessary, help modify the paraphrases.

12. Ask the group:

Did the paraphrasing feel difficult or awkward?

If yes, what specific aspects of the task felt hard?

How could paraphrasing enhance communication between peer mentors and mentees?

13. Summarize by emphasizing that, as with any skill, paraphrasing may seem awkward at first,but participants can gain confidence in paraphrasing through practice, both on the job and elsewhere. Note that there will be more chances to practice later on.





Activity 2.4: Blocks to Listening 60 minutes


Describe the common blocks to listening;

Identify the three personal blocks that most often keep them from listening as effectively as they can; and

Describe three strategies for overcoming listening blocks.

Key Content� Blocks to listening are distractions, usually unconscious, that keep people from listening with

their full attention.

� Everyone experiences blocks to listening at some time. Becoming aware of their particularblocks helps people put them aside and bring full attention to listening.

Activity Steps

Interactive presentation (5 minutes)

1. Distribute Handout 13, “Real Listening Is...” Review the importance of good listening by discussing the four intentions and asking participants for examples from their work experience.

2. With these good intentions, people tend to think that listening is easy. Yet, in Activity 2.2, participants learned that listening well—i.e., with a person’s full attention—takes consciouseffort. Otherwise, it is easy to get distracted. These distractions are called “listening blocks,” andeveryone experiences at least some of them. Usually people experience them without beingaware of them. The purpose of this activity is to help participants recognize common blocks tolistening and discuss how to overcome them.

Demonstration role play (10 minutes)

3. Ask the participant volunteer to come forward (see Advance Preparation). Explain that the twoof you will demonstrate two common blocks to listening. The first block you will demonstrate isinternal (i.e., not spoken) and you will indicate what you are thinking with a “thought balloon”such as those seen in cartoon strips.

4. As the volunteer begins to introduce him- or herself, make a circle over your head with yourarms like a balloon, and speak lines similar to those in the thought balloon in Handout 14, usingyour own words to make it more realistic.




5. Ask participants what they observed in this role play. Specifically ask:

How well do you think I was able to listen?

What seemed to block me from listening to the volunteer?

Have you ever experienced this block yourself? (Ask them to raise their hands, and raiseyours, too.)

What do you think this block should be called?

6. Note that this block is called “rehearsing”—although other names participants suggested mayalso apply.

7. Now explain that you and the volunteer will demonstrate a verbal listening block. In this roleplay, the volunteer speaks similar lines to the “filtering” example.

8. Ask participants again:

How well do you think I was able to listen?

What seemed to block me from listening to the volunteer?

Have you ever experienced this block yourself? (Ask them to raise their hands, and raiseyours, too.)

What do you think this block should be called?

9. Note that this block is called “filtering,” and explain it by referring to the text with the example.Thank the volunteer for help with the role play.

Teaching TipA variation for the filtering demonstration is for the volunteer to say negative and positivethings and for you to ignore the negative comment and respond at length only to the positive.


10. Divide the participants into four groups. Distribute the cut-up strips from Handout 14,“Blocks to Listening” (see Advance Preparation) so that each group receives one verbal and one internal block. (The internal, or nonverbal, ones are indicated by the “thought balloons.”)Ask each group to plan and practice how to role-play their assigned blocks for the rest of the participants.

Teaching TipCheck in with each group to be sure its members grasp the essence of their blocks.Changing or adapting the example is okay, but make sure they’re working with the correctoverall meaning.





11. Post the flip chart page with the ten blocks to listening. Check off the two already demon-strated, and explain that participants can use this list to help identify the listening blocks beingdemonstrated by other groups.

12. Ask each group to present one of its blocks to the large group without saying which one it is. Ask the other participants to state which block they think it is. After the block has been correctly identified, ask the demonstrating group members to describe how it can get in the way of effective listening. Continue with a second round of presentations until all blocks havebeen identified.

Teaching TipDuring the first round, eight blocks are unchecked on the list, and the other participants mayfind it challenging to identify which one is being demonstrated. During the second round,only four blocks remain unchecked, so identifications should be easier.

13. Distribute Handout 14, “Blocks to Listening,” and ask participants to take a few minutes to turn to the last page of their handout and write down the two listening blocks they most commonly experience.

Teaching OptionIf time is short, skip to step 15 and brainstorm in the large group.


14. Ask participants to reconvene in the same small groups and briefly share their personal listening blocks. Then ask them to help one another identify strategies to: 1) become aware ofwhen listening is blocked and 2) overcome a block, or get back to listening (see Handout 14).Give your own example of a listening block and a strategy to overcome it (see the Teaching Tipfor step 15 below). Encourage participants to write down on the last page of their worksheet the suggestions from group members about strategies to become aware of and overcome theirparticular listening blocks.

Blocks toListening

Rehearsing DreamingComparing IdentifyingMind Reading SparringFiltering AdvisingJudging Placating




Teaching TipCirculate in the room during the small-group discussions to ensure conversations stay ontrack and everyone has a chance to contribute.


15. Post a flip chart page with the title, “What strategies can help you get back to real listening?”Ask participants to share their strategies for becoming more aware of and overcoming theirblocks to listening. Go around the room and write down one idea from each group; continue inthis way to receive and record as many ideas as possible.

Teaching TipIf the following ideas are not suggested by the group, be sure to include them on the list:

� Mental check-ins: Do a mental check-in every minute or so while listening.

� Practice with a partner: Practice listening to someone who knows you well, and ask himor her to point out every time your attention seems to stray.

� Pause to find the cause: If you notice that listening to someone is becoming more diffi-cult, ask the person to pause for a moment. Ask yourself what blocks seem to be present.

Some groups may not come up with any workable strategies to return to active listening.Acknowledge how difficult it is in the moment to be aware of processes—especially uncon-scious ones—within oneself. Reassure participants that it is possible to become more aware.Point to the three strategies listed above as possible remedies, and ask if anyone has otherideas to add.

16. Thank participants for sharing and helping one another develop strategies to overcome listening blocks. Remind the group that becoming aware of blocks is the most important step in making the conscious choice to set them aside and listen.

What strategiescan help you get back to

real listening?


Goal� To engage participants in a process of self-reflection that will help them to investigate barriers

to effective listening—including assumptions and judgments about people who are differentfrom themselves—and to apply the strategy of pulling back from their own emotions.

Time2 hours, 45 minutes (3 hours, 30 minutes, with opening and closing activities)

Supplies� Flip chart, markers, and tape� Paper and pencils� Instructor's Guide, “Personal Style Continuum Statements” (p. 3.13)� (optional) Activity 3.2: Tape to create a continuum line on the floor

3


Communication Skills #2—Developing Self-Awareness

Module 3

Activities

3.1 Exploring Assumptions

3.2 Personal Styles

Break

3.3 Pulling Back

Methods

Large-group exercise

Large-group exercise, discussion

Demonstration role play, interactivepresentation, brainstorming, small-group work, discussion, individualexercise and pairs work

Time

30 minutes

60 minutes

15 minutes

60 minutes


Module 3: Communication Skills #2—Developing Self-Awareness

Handouts� Handout 15: “If You Had a Choice”� Handout 16: “Personal Style Continuum”� Handout 17: “Choosing to Pull Back” (three pages)� Handout 18: “Pulling Back: When Feelings Get in the Way of Listening”

Advance PreparationReview all training and presentation materials for each activity.

Prepare a flip chart page with the day’s agenda, and post it where it can remain throughout the day.

Plan an opening activity of 15 to 30 minutes, with a warm-up exercise and recap of what wascovered in the previous session. Review the homework, if assigned.

If this is the only module being conducted on this day, plan a closing activity of about 15 minutesto summarize what has been learned, solicit questions and feedback from the participants onthe day’s activities, and to get a sense of how participants are feeling. A sample evaluation formis provided on page I.17.

If Module 4 will be conducted more than one day from now, consider assigning homework—a practice activity based on this module’s content—for participants to work on until the next meeting.

Activity 3.1

Copy Handout 15, “If You Had a Choice,” for all participants.

Activity 3.2

Clear enough space in the middle or along one wall of the room so participants can positionthemselves along an imaginary continuum. It may help to lay down a line of tape from one endof the room to the other. If the room is not large enough to allow everyone to move aroundfreely, you may want to use a hallway.

Have available for this activity the Instructor’s Guide, “Personal Style Continuum Statements”(page 3.13).

Copy Handout 16, “Personal Style Continuum,” for all participants.

Activity 3.3

If there is no co-instructor, ask for a participant volunteer to help you with the demonstrationrole play in step 1. Explain that he or she will play a mentee who is angry and disrespectfultoward the mentor (played by the instructor). A sample role play is provided in the Teaching Tipon page 3.16.

Copy Handouts 17 and 18, “Choosing to Pull Back” and “Pulling Back: When Feelings Get in theWay of Listening,” for all participants.



For step 6, think of times when you’ve followed option A and option B that you feel comfortablesharing with participants.

For step 9, think of examples of pull-back strategies that have worked well for you in professionaland personal situations.

For step 13, think of situations that provoke you emotionally, to help explain Handout 18.

Prepare a flip chart page for step 15, “Instructions for Pairs Work.”




Activity 3.1 Exploring Assumptions 30 minutes


Describe how and when they make assumptions about other people; and

Describe the possible impact of making assumptions in a mentor–mentee relationship.

Key Content� All people make assumptions; this is natural and normal.

� People often make assumptions about others based on limited information. Key factors inthese assumptions are stereotypes about age, sex, race, ethnicity, socioeconomic status, sexuality, or appearance. Many times, these initial assumptions are wrong.

� When meeting someone for the first time, a person does not know anything about the new person’s story. He or she may have pieces of his or her story, but until the person begins to giveout information, it is not possible to know what is true. To find out what is true, it is importantto ask questions, be curious, and confront rumors and assumptions.

� On the negative side, the stories about others that people assume are correct can prevent themfrom really getting to know an individual. On the positive side, if people are aware of theirassumptions, they can ask questions to check the accuracy of their thoughts, thereby openingthe conversation and building the relationship.

Activity Steps


1. Introduce this exercise by noting that it is normal to make assumptions about people, that is, to take small pieces of information and fill in other details based on our past experiences.However, those assumptions, which are often based on beliefs about people of a certain age, sex, race, appearance, or socioeconomic status, are often wrong. Explain that this exercise willexplore how this happens by asking participants to pretend they can choose a desirable menteebased on a few simple facts.

2. Distribute Handout 15, “If You Had a Choice.” Ask the participants to read the statementsabout three potential mentees. Based on the information given, they should number the state-ments one through three, choosing the person with whom they would most want to work asnumber one and least want to work with as number three.




3. After 2 minutes, ask participants to raise their hands if mentee A was their first choice. Ask forvolunteers to share what drew them to placing this mentee first. On a flip chart page entitled“Reasons for Choosing Mentees,” note their reasons for choosing mentee A.

4. Do the same for mentees B and C.

5. Then reveal to the participants that the statements were written about the same mentee. Ask participants:

How can these statements be about the same person?

6. Explain that these statements are examples of information that might be gained at differentpoints in a relationship or from different sources. Emphasize that when people first meet, theydon’t know each other’s whole story. Each may have pieces of the other’s story, but until a personconfirms it, what’s really true isn’t known.

7. Refer back to the flip chart page with the list of reasons for choosing a mentee. Ask participantsto identify assumptions that were made and that are reflected in their reasons. Ask participants:

Which assumptions were true? Which were not?

How can you check or clarify your assumptions?

Teaching TipAt this point, participants may assume this exercise is supposed to teach that assumptionsare bad. Be clear that making assumptions is normal and natural, regardless of whether theyturn out to be right or wrong. The goal is to become more aware of assumptions and workto clarify or confirm them—as discussed in the next step.

8. Explain that assumptions may be right or wrong, but they are guesses based on only a littleinformation—e.g., someone is a young mother, therefore she may be overextended or unreli-able. In order to check if assumptions are true or false, the first step is to become aware of them.The second step is to explore the assumptions by asking the mentee questions that invite thementee to share his or her own perspective—e.g., “Having young children and a job can be challenging—how are you doing with all of this?” Asking questions is a good way to clarify information and check assumptions.


Reasons forChoosingMentees

A.

B.

C.



9. Summarize by concluding that people generally relate to others based on what they alreadyknow—or what they think they know. Since the mentor is responsible for initiating the relation-ship with the mentee, it is important to learn the mentee’s story by building a relationship andlearning directly from her or him, rather than making assumptions.




Activity 3.2: Personal Styles 60 minutes


Describe four basic categories of personal style;

Describe their own personal style in terms of these categories;

Explain that differences in personal style are not right or wrong;

Explain how differences in personal style can lead to wrong assumptions and judgmentsabout another person’s behavior; and

Explain how being aware of differences in style can help them relate better to their menteesand avoid negative judgments about them.

Key Content� Each person has a particular personal style that describes how he or she sees the world,

approaches challenges or new situations, and communicates with others. Generally, peopleassume everyone sees and experiences the world as they do. It is important for peer mentors to understand the differences between their own and their mentees’ personal styles and to recognize that there is no right or wrong personal style.

� Being aware of one’s own personal style is important to effective communication. Once peermentors are aware of their own styles, they can change their approach and communicate more effectively with mentees whose styles are different from their own.

� This model presents four dimensions of personal style, with a continuum of individual characteristics for each dimension:

� Introvert/Extrovert;

� Big-Picture Oriented/Detail-Oriented;

� Feeler/Thinker; and

� Present Oriented/Future Oriented.

Activity Steps


1. Note that, in addition to examining our assumptions about people, it is also useful, whenrelating to others, to become more aware of “personal style.” Explain that “personal style” refersto how people see the world and how they act or behave in different situations. When workingclosely with other people—whether mentees or consumers—it is useful to know one’s own personal style and how to work with people whose styles are different from one’s own.




2. Explain that participants will first explore this concept through a large-group exercise. Askeveryone to stand and move to the cleared space in the room (see Advance Preparation). Explainthat you will read two statements that describe two nearly opposite ways of behaving. If partici-pants relate completely to one statement, they will go to one end of the space. If they relate completely to the other, they will go to the other end. If they feel sometimes one way and some-times the other, they will stand somewhere in the middle. It’s important to note that there are no right or wrong answers to this—just different ways of behaving. (Note that, after they do thisone time, it will make a lot more sense.)

3. Referring to the Instructor’s Guide: “Personal Style Continuum Statements” (p. 3.13), read thefirst two statements—“I prefer to work alone” and “I prefer to work with others.” Point to whereparticipants should stand if they agree completely with the first statement and where theyshould stand if they agree completely with the second. People who do not agree completely with either statement should stand somewhere in between.

4. After everyone has taken a position, confirm that the people at the ends of the continuum arewhere they want to be. Then establish a place roughly midway between the two ends, which isfor people who relate equally to both statements. Check in with those in the middle: if they relatesomewhat more to one statement than the other, they should reposition themselves a bit closerto the appropriate end.

Teaching TipYou may or may not want to use the word “continuum.” If you do, point out how people arespread out in an imaginary line between the two statements. The range of opinions fromthose who agree totally with one statement to those who agree totally with the other repre-sents the concept of “continuum.” The important point is to recognize that some peoplerelate strongly to one statement, others relate strongly to the other, and still others will besomewhere in between. No position is right or wrong.

5. Repeat this process with the next two sets of statements. Then point out that the statementson one side generally describe a personal style called “introvert,” while those on the other sidedescribe a style called “extrovert.” Note how many people were somewhere in between the twoends. Remind participants that there are no right or wrong styles and that most people are acombination of introvert and extrovert. (A handout distributed at the end of the activity willremind them of these concepts.)

6. Repeat the process with the next personal style category, and then summarize for “big-pictureoriented/detail oriented.” Do the same for “feeler/thinker” and “present oriented/future oriented.”

Teaching TipsAllow time for informal discussion as people place themselves. More time may be needed ifparticipants already know each other, as they are likely to begin discussing who belongswhere. This can be a valuable part of the exercise. Ultimately, however, each participantdecides for him- or herself where to stand on the continuum.

Keep the tone light, allowing people to change their minds about where they place them-selves, and to tell brief stories about how their personal style has played out in their lives.The stories will most likely be about interactions with family or colleagues that they nowunderstand differently.




Also, encourage people at opposite ends of the continuum to describe what it feels like to be in a room with their opposites. Keep the tone light and guard against blaming andjudging. Help participants see that working and communicating with people with stylesopposite to their own requires making adjustments.

Remind participants that each person is unique and that the activity is designed to give theminsight into their own and others’ ways of being in the world. No place on the continuum is right or wrong, or better or worse. The goal is for participants to better understand them-selves and others and to appreciate how they might have emotional responses to or makejudgments about others whose styles are different from theirs.

Training OptionIf some participants are not able to move easily around the room, this exercise can also bedone on a flip chart page. Draw a line from one edge of the page to the other to representthe continuum. Ask participants one at a time to help place themselves on the continuumby instructing you where to place their initials, as you read the relevant statements. Point tothe center of the line, and have each participant tell you where to write his or her initials bysaying, “more to the left [or right], more, more...there.”


7. Ask participants (see Key Content for points to cover):

How do you think knowing this information about yourself will help you be a more effectivepeer mentor?

What will it be like to mentor someone whose style is different from yours? What strategiesmight you use?

8. Distribute Handout 16, “Personal Style Continuum,” and note that trainees can refer to it lateron to remind themselves of what they experienced and discussed in the large-group exercise,and to consider what personal style categories colleagues, friends, or mentees might fall under.




Instructor’s Guide 3.2: Personal Style Continuum Statements

I prefer to work alone. I prefer to work with others.

I am more comfortable I am very comfortable at with a few close friends large parties and other

than at a big party. social situations.

When I have a problem, When I have a problem, I think inwardly to solve it. I talk about it with others.

I get bored with I pay close attention to detaildetails and facts. and need to know facts.

I make decisions quickly. I make decisions after pondering all the angles.

I am very disorganized. I am very organized.

I shy away from, or am I have tolerance for uncomfortable with, conflict. some conflict.

My decisions are influenced My decisions are influencedby emotions and feelings. by facts and logic.

My opinions are swayed by My opinions are swayed by emotional argument. reason, rationale, and data.

My social activities are My social activities areusually spur of the moment. usually planned.

Change is exciting to me. Change is a bit scary to me.

I think mostly about today. I think a lot about the future.

Key

Introvert Extrovert Big-Picture Detail-OrientatedOrientated

Feeler Thinker Present-Oriented Future-Oriented

I

I

I

BP

BP

BP

F

F

F

PO

PO

PO

E

E

E

DO

DO

DO

T

T

T

FO

FO

FO

I E BP DO

F T PO FO



Activity 3.3: Pulling Back 60 minutes


Describe how emotional responses often get in the way of their ability to listen attentively;

Explain that pulling back from their emotional responses often leads to more effective communication; and

Identify strategies for pulling back from their emotional responses.

Key Content� When people are faced with situations or people who provoke an emotional response, listening

can become difficult and communication often becomes charged. While people rarely havecontrol over others’ words or behavior, each person can control his or her own emotionalresponses to a situation. Shifting personal internal responses makes it possible to listen moreattentively. The resulting communication is more effective and more positive.

� “Pulling back” requires gaining control of yourself in an emotionally stressful situation. The steps of pulling back are to:

� Notice your internal reaction and judgments;

� Freeze your reaction—and put it aside; and

� Put your attention back on the other person.

� Clear and objective thinking is especially important in peer mentoring and leads to goodcommunication and problem solving. Pulling back allows a person to think more clearly (i.e., not get caught up in an emotional reaction), listen more effectively, and thus betterunderstand what was said.

� Pulling back from a mentee’s emotionally charged statements, followed by paraphrasing, willallow a mentor to gain emotional control of him- or herself and open up the conversationinstead of shutting it down.

� Pulling back from an emotional response does not mean being soft or allowing dishonestworkers to get away with something. In fact, using pull-back strategies makes it much lesslikely that a peer mentor will be misled or manipulated. Maintaining objectivity allows forkeener listening and fuller exploration of the situation with the mentee.



Activity Steps


1. Note that, in spite of our best efforts to explore assumptions about our mentees and considerthe impact of differences in personal style, there may be times when we find it difficult to staycalm when talking with a mentee. Explain that you will now conduct a brief role play to demon-strate one such situation. Ask the participant volunteer (see Advance Preparation) to come forward. Introduce yourself as the peer mentor and your assistant as the mentee, and conductthe first role play.

Teaching TipsThe first role play demonstrates a situation in which a mentee says something inappropriateto the peer mentor, who reacts very emotionally, thereby aggravating the situation. An exam-ple is provided below; however, instructors should tailor the role play to situations known tobe problems for participants.

Sample scenario: The peer mentor sees the mentee walking down the street and says,“Hello—how are things going?” The mentee shouts angrily, “Why are you always in my face?I didn’t ask for a mentor, you know. Why don’t you just leave me alone?” The startled peermentor shouts back, “Well, believe me, I didn’t ask to have you as a mentee. I’ll just tell yoursupervisor how you feel and let her deal with you.”


What did you observe about the peer mentor’s response to the worker?

What is the likely outcome for the mentor and mentee’s relationship?

How could the peer mentor have responded differently in order to get a better, more productive outcome?

3. Repeat the role play, with the mentee exhibiting the same behavior and the peer mentordemonstrating a pull-back technique and several of the participants’ suggestions about how tobetter respond to the situation.

Teaching TipsExamples of the peer mentor’s response could be to take a deep breath, and paraphrasewhat the mentee said, e.g. “It sounds like you are very upset with me.”

The instructor should exaggerate the pull-back strategy because, in general, people are not aware of someone pulling back. However, in a demonstration role play, it should be very obvious.


What did you observe this time about the peer mentor’s response to the mentee?

What is the likely outcome for the mentor and mentee’s relationship?



Interactive presentation (15 minutes)

5. Remind participants that, as demonstrated in the listening and paraphrasing activities, peoplelisten well when they bring their full attention to a conversation. However, having an emotionalresponse to a speaker, or to his or her words, is one of the most powerful blocks to listening.Discuss the first bullet in Key Content about the importance of managing one’s own internalresponses in order to listen effectively.

6. Distribute Handout 17, “Choosing to Pull Back.” Review the first page, describing option A andoption B, and applying them to the demonstration. If helpful, add personal examples (seeAdvance Preparation).

7. Ask participants: What does each option generally lead to? After several responses for eachoption, turn to page 2 of the handout (“Option A/B Generally Leads to...”), and discuss.

8. Turn to page 3 (“‘Pulling Back’ Means”). Reinforce the meaning of “pull back” and the steps.Ask participants for examples from their work experience when they might need to pull back andgain control over their emotions.

Brainstorming and discussion (15 minutes)

9. Explain that people use multiple strategies to pull back in stressful situations. The goal of thisactivity is for participants to become aware of the strategies they use and strengthen them and to learn new strategies. Briefly give examples of pull-back strategies that have worked for you,professionally and personally.

10. Ask the group to brainstorm different strategies for pulling back. Write the strategies on a flipchart page. List the examples you gave to get things started.

Teaching TipsThe list could include: take deep breaths, silently say a prayer, silently count to five, andsilently say a personal affirmation such as “I have the strength to deal with whatever is happening here.”

Some strategies may not be appropriate responses to stressful situations (for example, walk-ing away). Redirect or reframe these responses before writing them on the flip chart page.


Pull-BackStrategies



11. Explain to the group that there are two categories of pull-back strategies. The first are strategies that people use immediately, or in the moment, when they are having an emotionalresponse. The second category’s strategies are ones people use when they know they are about to be in a potentially stressful situation, such as a difficult meeting or phone conversation, butthere is time to prepare.

12. Quickly review the list from step 10, and ask participants to identify which strategies areimmediate, or in the moment, and which ones are preparatory. Label each strategy with an “I” or a “P.” Some strategies will work well in either instance.

Teaching TipExamples of preparatory strategies include: vent or talk to a coworker about the situation,listen to soothing music, and imagine yourself staying calm and collected during the situation. Some strategies may belong on both lists.

Individual exercise, pairs work, and discussion (20 minutes)

13. Distribute Handout 18, “Pulling Back: When Feelings Get in the Way of Listening.” Readthrough it together, explaining that these are examples of personal or workplace situations inwhich a person might need to pull back. Use examples from your own life to help participantsunderstand what you mean and to model self-reflection and self-disclosure.

Teaching TipsThe first images that come to mind when someone says, “What provokes you?” tend to bevery strong and are directly useful in this pull-back activity. “Provoke” is intentionally usedhere to bring to mind previous emotionally charged situations. These images provide excellent learning resources that participants can draw on to answer the questions:

What, if anything, helped you pull back in that situation?

If you were in that situation again, what would your pull-back strategy or strategies be?

Point out to participants that anger is not the only emotion that gets “provoked”—sadness,discouragement, helplessness, joy, and excitement are other feelings that are sometimestriggered. It is necessary to pull back from any of these emotions if the intention is to listen well.

14. Ask participants to take a few minutes, individually, to check off those items on the list thatresonate with them and add others they have previously encountered. Explain briefly that, tocontrol one’s emotions, one must first become aware of them. Most of the time, specific situa-tions or people provoke certain emotions in a person. Identifying such situations in advance willhelp in pulling back when the mentors actually encounter the situations.

15. Divide participants into pairs. Post the prepared flip chart page, “Instructions for Pairs Work,”and ask them to take 10 minutes to share the items they checked on the list and help each otheridentify pull-back strategies.




16. After 10 minutes, return to the large group and ask one member of each pair to briefly notethe items that provoked them and the pull-back strategies they identified. Ask for one item andstrategy from each group, and keep going around the room until all the strategies have beennoted. Add any strategies not listed earlier to the brainstorm list (from step 10).

Teaching TipParticipants cannot go into great detail about things that provoke them emotionally. Helpthem stick to summarizing their stories and focusing on pull-back strategies.

17. Thank participants for their efforts, and note that they will have a chance to practice pullingback in the next module.

Pull Back:Instructions for

Pairs Work1. Share what you checked

on the list2. Help each other

identify pull-backstrategies — one in-the-moment strategy and one toprepare for a difficultsituation.


Goal� To practice applying communication skills, including giving constructive feedback, in

mentoring situations.

Time3 hours, 15 minutes to 3 hours, 45 minutes, depending on number of participants (4 to 4 hours, 30 minutes, with opening and closing activities)

Supplies� Flip chart, markers, and tape� Paper and pencils� Post-it notes or index cards� Activity 4.3: 100-piece jigsaw puzzle (for more than eight participants, two puzzles)

Handouts� Handout 19: “Open-Ended Clarifying Questions”� Handout 20: “Make It Open”� Handout 21: “Closed vs. Open-Ended Questions”� Handout 7: “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring”

4


Putting the Skills to WorkModule 4

Activities

4.1 Asking Open-EndedQuestions—Part 1

4.2 Communication SkillsPractice

Break

4.3 Giving Constructive Feedback

Methods

Demonstration role plays, large-group discussion

Practice role plays, discussion

Demonstration role plays, large-group exercise, discussion

Time

30 minutes

60 to 90minutes

15 minutes

90 minutes


Module 4: Putting the Skills to Work

(if this was not distributed in Activity 2.1)� Handout 22: “Communication Skills Practice” (residential and home care versions)� Handout 23: “Guidelines for Giving Constructive Feedback”

Advance PreparationReview all training and presentation materials for each activity.

If this module starts a new day, prepare a flip chart page with the day’s agenda, and post it where it can remain throughout the day. Also plan an opening activity of 15 to 30 minutes, with a warm-up exercise and recap of what was covered in the previous session. Review thehomework, if assigned.

Plan a closing activity of about 15 minutes to summarize what has been learned, solicit questions and feedback from the participants on the day’s activities, and to get a sense of how participants are feeling. A sample evaluation form is provided on page I.17.

If Module 5 will be conducted more than one day from now, consider assigning homework—i.e., a practice activity based on this module’s content—for participants to work on until the next meeting.

Activity 4.1

Prepare flip chart pages for steps 6 and 7. For “Make It Open,” leave enough space under eachclosed question to write an open-ended version of the question during the discussion.

Copy Handouts 19, 20, and 21, “Open-Ended Clarifying Questions,” “Make It Open,” and “Closed vs. Open-Ended Questions,” for all participants.

Activity 4.2

If Handout 7, “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring,” was not used in Activity 2.1, copy itfor all participants.

Copy Handout 22, “Communication Skills Practice,” for all participants. Choose either the homecare or residential version.

Decide how to structure this activity, based on the amount of time and the number of instructors.Each role play and discussion sequence takes about 10 minutes (5 minutes for role play and 5 minutes for discussion). All role plays should be observed by an instructor, who will then lead the discussion.

If only one instructor is available, conduct the role plays in one group. Divide the amount of time available by 10 minutes to calculate how many role plays can be conducted. Or, for smallergroups, multiply the number of participants by 10 minutes to determine how much time is needed.

If more than one instructor is available, each person can work with a small group. Groups willconduct simultaneous role plays, increasing the number of participants who will get a chance to practice.

Ideally there will be enough instructors and sufficient time for every participant to practice in a



role play. However, 90 minutes (i.e., eight role plays) should be considered the maximum forkeeping everyone’s attention, with 60 minutes probably the optimum amount of time.

Activity 4.3

Ask a participant volunteer to help with the opening demonstration role plays, and explain his or her role.

Prepare flip chart pages for steps 10, 11, and 13.

Copy Handout 23, “Guidelines for Giving Constructive Feedback,” for all participants.




Activity 4.1: Asking Open-Ended Questions 30 minutes


Explain the difference between closed and open-ended questions;

Explain the importance of using open-ended questions in peer mentoring; and

Create open-ended questions that will be useful in peer mentoring.

Key Content� Closed questions usually generate facts or “yes” or “no” answers. Open-ended questions

encourage responses that include feelings, opinions, descriptions, or explanations. Open-ended questions usually begin with “how,” “what,” or “why”?

� Open-ended questions from a peer mentor encourage a mentee to supply more informationthan closed questions. This can be very useful in mentoring, when the mentor needs to knowabout the mentee’s thoughts, feelings, or experiences. Such information may be difficult toobtain using closed questions, especially if the mentee is having problems and is hesitant to talk about the situation.

� Used together, paraphrasing and asking open-ended questions greatly enhance communicationand are keys to successful peer mentoring because:

� They allow for more complete understanding;

� They help establish a positive relationship between the peer mentor and the mentee; and

� They set the stage for more appropriate and effective problem solving.

Activity Steps


1. Ask for a volunteer to help with this activity. Begin by explaining that you are going to asksome questions; the content of the answers doesn’t matter, but participants should observe thestyle of the questions and the types of answers such questions elicit.

2. For about 30 seconds, ask your volunteer a series of closed questions, e.g., “Are you feelingokay?” “Are you enjoying the workshop?” “Are you nervous right now?” “Is it too hot in theroom?”

3. After the questions and answers, ask the other participants what they observed about thekinds of questions you were asking and the kind of answers you got. After a few responses, moveon to the next step, explaining that you will repeat the exercise but with a difference. Theobservers’ task is to determine how it is different.




4. Ask the volunteer similar questions, but make them all open-ended, e.g., “What are your feelings about doing this role play with me?” “How do you think the workshop is going so far?”“How would you describe the temperature in the room right now?”

5. Thank the volunteer for helping you with this exercise. Then ask the other participants—“What do you think is different about the questions I asked this time and the ones I askedbefore?” Follow up by asking, “How were the answers different?”

6. Display the prepared flip chart pages. Discuss the key points, referring to the demonstrationfor examples.

Large-group exercise and discussion (20 minutes)

7. Display the next prepared flip chart page, and distribute Handout 20, “Make It Open.” Give anexample of changing the first closed question to an open-ended one. Continue through the list,asking participants to take turns making open-ended questions from the closed questions. Writethe open-ended questions on the flip chart page under the respective closed questions.


Make It Open• Did you like the

training?

• Did you like your firstday on the job?

• Have you worked inhealth care before?

Closed Questions• Result in “yes” or “no”

or short, factualanswers

• Tend to stop conversation, requiringmore questions to getthe full story

Open-EndedClarifyingQuestions

• Begin with how, what,or why

• Are used to clarifyinformation

• Keep the conversationopen by encouraging aperson to share asmuch as they wish



Teaching TipIf participants are struggling to understand the concept of open-ended questions, theinstructor can suggest open-ended questions for more of the closed questions on the list or create additional examples, perhaps from areas outside work.

On the other hand, if participants show a good understanding of how to change closedquestions into open-ended ones, stop writing at some point and review the rest verbally.


How are the questions we created different from the ones on Handout 20?

How might a mentee’s response to our open-ended questions differ from his or her responseto those on the handout?

9. Ask participants to summarize what they know about open-ended questions: what they are,how they are different from closed questions, how to create them, when they work best in a conversation. Finally, ask:

Why are open-ended questions particularly useful in peer mentoring?

10. End the discussion by emphasizing the information in the second and third bullets in KeyContent. Review the definition of paraphrasing, and discuss why paraphrasing and open-endedquestions are crucial elements in good communication and building relationships with mentees.Distribute Handout 19, “Open-Ended Clarifying Questions,” and Handout 21, “Closed vs. Open-Ended Questions,” for participants to add to their resource binders.




Activity 4.2: Communication Skills Practice 60-90 minutes


Demonstrate the communication skills they have been learning—active listening,paraphrasing, pulling back, and asking open-ended questions—in simulated peer mentoring situations; and

Describe the challenges of mastering these skills as well as the benefits that result from using the skills in peer mentoring.

Key Content� Learning new skills requires practice. Practicing in the relatively safe setting of the workshop

environment will help participants solidify their understanding of listening skills and pull-backstrategies that will be needed on the job.

� This activity focuses on practicing the skills of active listening, paraphrasing, pulling back, andasking open-ended questions. The goal in the role plays is to gather and clarify informationfrom the mentee, not to solve the mentee’s problem. If mentors rush into problem solving,they may propose solutions based on false assumptions. Such solutions are rarely effective.

Activity Steps

Practice role plays (see Advance Preparation for timing)

1. Introduce this activity by presenting the following points:

This activity centers on role playing—i.e., acting out scenarios that are based on realisticpeer mentoring situations. Role plays allow participants to practice the skills of listening,paraphrasing, pulling back, and asking open-ended questions in a safe environment—one in which they are supported to learn.

The skills participants have been learning are difficult. Trainees are not expected to becomeexperts right away. It’s important that they be patient with themselves and with one anotheras they practice to learn and improve.

Luckily, in role plays, mistakes are useful, because they provide helpful information to learnfrom. In order for that to happen, it is important to be able to give and receive constructivecriticism, as well as point out what is done well.

2. If Handout 7, “Effective Communication in Peer Mentoring,” was not used in Activity 2.1, distribute it now to review the key aspects of effective communication.




3. Distribute Handout 22, “Communication Skills Practice” (either for home care or residentialsettings). Explain that participants will get a turn to play the peer mentor in a role play while the instructor will play the mentee each time. Tell the group that in these role plays, they are not trying to solve the mentee’s problem but to learn more about that person’s perspective byapplying all the communication skills they have been learning. Explain how the role plays will be conducted (i.e., in small groups or in the large group; see Advance Preparation).

4. Divide participants into small groups, each led by an instructor, or set up the area for roleplays in the large-group setting.

Teaching TipsWhen splitting into small groups, keep the groups well separated so participants don’t get distracted during role plays. Ideally groups will meet in separate rooms.

Role plays can make participants nervous. In order to decrease stage fright and save time, keep the atmosphere casual and conduct the role plays around a table or in a circle of chairs.

5. After giving participants time to read and select a scenario they want to role-play, ask for a volunteer to start. Read the selected scenario aloud, and ask the participant to share his or herpull-back strategy before you begin. End each role play after the peer mentor has successfullyelicited clarifying information from the mentee, using pull-back, paraphrasing, and other activelistening skills. Do not go on to problem solving. Allow no more than 5 minutes per role play.

Teaching TipsTo save time on reading and selecting roles to play, the scenarios can also be randomlyassigned.

Remind the participants of the skills to be used—appropriate body language, active listening, paraphrasing, pulling back, and asking open-ended questions.

Discourage participants from repeating the same scenarios. However, if a participant feelsstrongly about choosing a repeat scenario, play the role of the mentee a bit differently.

Keep the tone light and allow for laughter, but don’t allow any role play to become a comedy. Keep the group focused on the task.

Participants will be tempted during the role plays to move into problem solving. If partici-pants start trying to brainstorm solutions to problems, gently interrupt and redirect them toasking open-ended questions or paraphrasing. Remind them that their task right now is onlyto clarify and elicit more information.

Some participants may feel awkward, anxious, or shy about performing in front of others.Acknowledge that this may be a new way of learning for some people and that it may feelawkward at first. Stress the importance of supporting one another in their efforts to learn,not to judge or ridicule.




6. Debrief for about 5 minutes after each role play by asking the following questions:

To the mentor:

Did you use your pull-back strategy? Was it effective?

To the group:

What did you notice about the pull-back strategy?

How was paraphrasing used?

What else did the peer mentor do or say that seemed effective?

What could be improved?

7. Continue until every participant has played the peer mentor role or until time runs out.




Activity 4.3: Giving Constructive Feedback 90 minutes


Describe two key aspects of constructive feedback;

Explain the importance of giving constructive feedback to mentees; and

Explain the importance of focusing on observations and facts, rather than opinions and assumptions, when providing feedback to a mentee.

Key Content� One of the most important functions of a peer mentor is to give feedback to mentees. When

you give someone feedback, you provide useful information about his or her approach, skills,or responses in a situation, in order to help reinforce or encourage the person’s abilities for future interactions or decisions. Giving feedback will help develop mentees’ skills and build confidence.

� Feedback should always be constructive. Constructive feedback should be based on facts and observations, rather than opinions or assumptions. Doing this can be challenging andmay take some practice.

� Constructive feedback addresses what a mentee is doing well, as well as what he or she needsto improve, in order to provide quality care. If feedback focuses on only what a mentee doeswell, he or she may come to question the sincerity of the feedback. If feedback addresses onlywhat a mentee needs to improve, he or she may become discouraged or resentful of the mentor. Thus, a balance is necessary.

� In some cultures, people are more familiar with telling someone what they have done wrongrather than telling them what they have done well. Giving feedback on a mentee’s strengthsmay need to be practiced in order to increase both the mentor’s and mentee’s comfort withgiving and receiving it.

Activity Steps


1. Explain that one type of communication is called “feedback.” Remind participants that “Gives feedback to help mentee succeed” was listed in Module 1 as one of the key roles of thepeer mentor. Ask participants to describe what the word “feedback” means to them and to givesome examples of it. Ask: How can feedback from a mentor help a mentee succeed? Review the first bullet in Key Content on the definition of feedback and the role of the peer mentor ingiving feedback.





2. Explain that this activity explores different types of feedback through role plays, to see whichtypes work best in peer mentoring. To set up the role plays, ask participants:

What are some things that typically happen when a direct-care worker first starts the job?

What usually goes right?

What goes wrong?

3. Quickly make up a scenario from participants’ responses, in which a peer mentor worksdirectly with a mentee or receives information from a supervisor, on a typical day when somethings go right and some go wrong. Ask the participant volunteer to come forward (see AdvancePreparation) to play the role of the mentee. Explain that you will play the role of the peer mentor,talking to the mentee after leaving the consumer’s room or after hearing from the supervisor.

4. Begin the first role play. Point out everything the mentee did wrong and what the menteeneeds to do differently next time. Don’t ask any questions or give him or her a chance to say anything. Without being abusive, the mentor can be judgmental (e.g., “I don’t know what youwere thinking” or “You must not have learned much in that training” or “If I’d done somethinglike that on my first day, I’d have been fired faster than you can spit.”).

Teaching TipsThe first role play will help participants experience how it feels when the feedback is onlyabout what the mentee did wrong. The second role play will help them experience how it feels when the feedback is only about what the mentee did right. Neither role play exemplifies constructive feedback. The third role play will demonstrate how to combine the two approaches to give constructive feedback.

All three role plays should be quite brief—1 to 2 minutes.

In the first two role plays, the mentor makes comments based on opinions and assump-tions. In the third role play, the comments focus on what the mentee actually did—that is, on actions the mentor observed. In the discussion following this activity, address the difference between opinion-based vs. fact-based feedback, and refer back to these role plays to help make the points.

5. After about 2 minutes, stop the role play and facilitate a brief discussion.

Ask the mentee:

How did you feel while I was talking?

Ask the other participants:

How effective do you think my comments will be in helping the mentee do better next time?

6. Now perform another version of the role play with the same situation. This time, the mentorwill say nothing about what the mentee did wrong and only focus on what he or she did right. Be creative and add things that are not obvious from the situation—e.g., “And you look so nice




today” or “Your consumer seemed really happy to see you.” Again, opinions and judgments areappropriate for this role play.

7. Stop the role play after about 2 minutes and again facilitate a discussion:

Ask the mentee:



How effective do you think my words will be in helping the mentee do better next time?

How does this compare with the first role play?

8. Enact one more version of this role play. This time, ask the mentee how he or she feels aboutwork just completed with the consumer. Then comment on specific actions you observed that heor she did well, and give one comment on the most important mistake observed. Ask the menteehow he or she would do it differently next time.

9. Stop the role play after about 2 minutes and facilitate a discussion, comparing the impact ofthe three role plays on both the mentee’s confidence and his or her ability to do better next time.

Ask the mentee:



How effective do you think my comments will be in helping the mentee do better next time?

How does this compare to the first two role plays?

Which role play showed the kind of feedback you are accustomed to receiving?

Why do you think people often give feedback as it was done in the first role play?

Teaching TipSometimes health or safety issues arise that a supervisor needs to quickly address so theconsumer or direct-care worker is not harmed. There may not be enough time in themoment, especially in urgent situations, to talk about positive behaviors first. It is importantto acknowledge this reality and suggest that mentors be particularly mindful of finding anappropriate moment to provide the mentee with positive feedback. Example: “Although Ihad to stop you from transferring Ms. Scott in that way, I also noticed your concern abouther fear of falling.”

10. Post the flip chart page below and review the definitions of “giving feedback” and “construc-tive feedback.” Ask which role play demonstrated constructive feedback. Point out that givingconstructive feedback is a skill that requires both practice and awareness of its importance.When a mentee is performing well in his or her job, sometimes feedback is given only on tasks




done well. This is both appropriate and is strongly encouraged as a regular aspect of building asupportive relationship. However, feedback on what a mentee is not doing correctly or wellshould always contain an element of encouragement that something was done right, either inthe current situation or in the recent past.


11. Post the prepared flip chart page below, with an additional piece of blank flip chart paperattached on top of it so that only one row is displayed at a time. Display the first pair of state-ments, explain that they describe the same situation with a mentor speaking to a mentee, andask participants what is different about the two statements. After several responses, proceed tothe next row, and ask the same thing. After several more responses, continue to the third row andask the same question.

12. Uncover the last row (the titles) and note that all three statements in the first columnexpressed a mentor’s opinions or assumptions. In the second column, the mentor is stating what he or she observed. Ask participants:

If you were the mentee, how would you feel about the mentor’s comments in the first column?


FeedbackDefinition: Providing useful information aboutsomeone’s approach,skills or actions, in orderto encourage professionaldevelopment.Constructive Feedback:Talking about BOTH whatthe mentee is doing ANDwhat the mentee needsto improve.

What is different about these pairs of statements?

You must not have hadmuch sleep last night.I don’t think you learnedmuch in that training.You must be trying tomake your consumersicker.Opinion/Assumption

Your eyes are very red this morning.

The sheets are nottucked in correctly.

I noticed you put extrasalt on the food, but he’s

on a low-sodium diet.Observation/Fact



How would you feel about the comments in the second column?

Which set of statements would be more helpful in improving your skills or addressing a problem?


In the setting in which you work, what are some examples of behaviors you can observe and give feedback on?

After a few responses, post the prepared flip chart page below and facilitate a discussion.

Teaching TipExamples of “what you can see” include: gestures, facial expressions, body movements, and eye contact.

Examples of “what you can hear” include: tone and volume of voice, use of paraphrasing,and asking open-ended questions.

An example of “what you can see happening as a result” might be: “When you were dressing Mrs. Jones, I noticed she responded by refusing to help you.”

14. Summarize by stating that constructive feedback focuses as much as possible on observedbehaviors or actions that can be pointed out to the mentee, either to reinforce what they aredoing well or to help them correct an area that needs improving. Remind participants of howassumptions can often be wrong and how hurtful statements can trigger listening blocks on thepart of the other person. Therefore, one goal for peer mentors is to focus on observations andrespond with facts rather than opinions.

Give Feedback On:• What you can see

• What you can hear

• What you observe happening as a resultof the mentee’s actions





Teaching TipsIn this exercise, participants will be divided into pairs; one person in each pair will work on a jigsaw puzzle, while the others will be designated “feedback givers”—also known asmentors. Assembling a jigsaw puzzle provides concrete tasks that can be quickly observedand potentially improved upon with well-focused, specific feedback.

Participants may have a range of familiarity and skills when it comes to jigsaw puzzles. Eachpair will determine who is more familiar with doing jigsaw puzzles. That person will play therole of mentor, mirroring the situation in which a more experienced worker guides a newworker in learning new skills and rules of the job.

It is not essential to finish assembling the puzzle. In fact, it’s best to choose a puzzle withenough pieces so that it cannot be finished in 5 minutes but could possibly be completed inthe additional 5 minutes after the feedback. Thus the puzzle should be challenging but notoverwhelming.

As noted in Advance Preparation, these instructions are for up to eight participants. Morethan eight participants will require two puzzles.

15. Explain to participants that this exercise will give them a chance to practice giving or receivingconstructive feedback. Hold up the box with the jigsaw puzzle and ask participants to brainstormsome of the basic steps for doing a jigsaw puzzle.

Teaching TipThe brainstorming will help those who are not as familiar with jigsaw puzzles to get some idea of how to approach the task. Some of the steps include:

� Dump all the pieces out of the box.

� Turn all the pieces face up.

� Find all the border (edge) pieces and put them together.

� Find some major features in the picture and start looking for those pieces.

� Sort the remaining pieces by color and put them together. Join different sections together inside the border.

16. Divide participants into pairs. Ask each pair to determine which person has more experiencedoing jigsaw puzzles. This person is the mentor; the other person is the mentee.

Teaching TipIf neither person in a pair has any experience with jigsaw puzzles, switch one of them with aperson from a pair in which both members have experience or allow them to decide whichone will be the mentor and which one the mentee.

17. Explain that mentors are to observe what their partners are doing and be prepared to givethem constructive feedback after 5 minutes. During the initial 5 minutes, mentors will onlyobserve what is happening. Remind them to focus on: 1) observing specific behaviors (what theycan see or hear) that their mentee is doing well; and 2) observing specific behaviors the mentee




may be able to improve upon. Ask them to notice any assumptions they might be making abouttheir mentee while observing.

18. Ask the mentees to step forward. Set the puzzle box down on a table large enough for all ofthem to work on the puzzle. Before beginning work on the puzzle, ask mentees to think brieflyabout the brainstorming they did in step 15 about the steps to assemble a puzzle, and ask themto choose a particular step to work on.

19. Tell the mentees to start working on the puzzle. Mentors can get as close as necessary in order to observe but cannot speak or interfere with putting the puzzle together.

20. After 5 minutes, stop the mentees and ask them to get feedback from their mentors. Allow about 3 minutes for feedback in mentor–mentee pairs.

21. In the large group, ask for feedback on the feedback. Ask the mentees:

How many of you received feedback on what you did well? Was it accurate?

How many of you received feedback on what you could do better? Was it about specificbehaviors you could change?

How many of you received feedback that was based on observation and fact?

How did the feedback make you feel? Encouraged? Discouraged?

Do you think the feedback will help you to work better on the puzzle?

22. Ask the mentors:

What was easy about giving constructive feedback? What was difficult?

What would you do differently next time?

23. Following this discussion, ask the mentees to go back to the puzzle and see if the feedbackhelps them in their work. Give them another 5 minutes, with the mentors once again onlyobserving.



What have you learned in this session about feedback?

Teaching TipsAssess how well participants have understood the concepts of constructive feedback and the importance of focusing on fact and observations instead of speaking out of opinions and assumptions. Ask for descriptions of constructive feedback in their own words. It mayhelp to ask, for example, “What happened in the three role plays?” or “What did the puzzlehave to do with feedback?”

If participants are unclear about the relevance of this activity to their work, explain that if youused scenarios based on their work, they would focus on the content of the task, not theprocess of giving feedback. By applying this process to a nonwork setting, they could moreeasily see the process itself.




25. Thank everyone for their participation. Distribute and review Handout 23, “Guidelines forGiving Constructive Feedback.”

Teaching Options (possibly for warm-ups or closings)

Giving Positive Feedback

Note that we all need and crave recognition and appreciation (i.e., positive strokes). This isespecially important for mentees. Yet for many of us, giving and receiving positive feedbackis challenging. This exercise focuses on giving positive feedback.

Arrange the group in a circle. Distribute one blank paper and a pencil to each participant,and have everyone write his or her name clearly at the top. Pass the papers to the personon the right, and ask each person to write some positive feedback on the sheet. In 1 minute,pass the papers to the next person on the right, and so on. When everyone’s papers havereturned to them, have participants take a few minutes to read their feedback sheets beforethe discussion. They can keep these pages in their binders to refer to on days when thingsseem to go badly.

Facilitate a discussion:

How did you feel about giving feedback on what other people do well?

How did you feel about receiving the feedback on what you do well?

How can you apply what you’ve learned to your peer mentoring?



Module 1 Introduction to Peer Mentoring · 1.8 PEER MENTORING: A WORKSHOP SERIES FOR DIRECT-CARE...

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