Mineral Point tribune (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1884-02-28 [p ] › lccn › sn86086770 › ...PERSONS...

PERSONS AND THINGS. A French paper calls Mrs. Frank Leslie the “empress of journalism.” Victor Hugo is still considered the best talker in Paris. But he is the poorest listener. He is as deaf as a post. Gov. Proctor Knott’s enemies are reminding him that his father’s grave is unraarksd by T either stone, fence or shrub. Bob Toombs takes great delight, so a Georgia paper reports, in reading the obituary notices of the original Abolitionists. Charles Francis Adams, Jr., lias is- sued a new r edition of his address entitled “A College Fetich,” in which he argues against the study of the dead languages. John Boyle O'Reilly says the best likness of Wendell Phillips was painted 400 years ago by Leonardo da Vinci, in his celebrated “Last Sup- per,” in the face of Simon Peter. The Atlantic for March will con-1 tain an article from the pen of Oliver: T. Morton, son of the late Senator Morton, entitled “Presidential Nm- tions.” Mr. Morion is £3 years old, and is ndw a law- student at Indian apolis. New York city has one church to every 5,000 inhabitants. A hotel at Niles-, Mich., is the prop- erty of John G. Saxe, the poet. The movement in Germany for the better observance of Sunday is grow ing rapidly. Milk is the only article thus far used with any success by physicians in treating bright's disease. Rendered frantic by want, a Vien na father said to his son: “Boy, 1 cannot see you hungry and freezing;" and then he killed him. A sheep herder at Heppnor, Oregon, ; stayed up all night on the hotel porch | because the proprietor refused to per- mit Mm to take the dog to bed with him. Andrew Koch is suing Jonathan Ramsdell, of Detroit, for SIO,OOO for biting off one of his ears. \;l)i buque, lowa, will advertise its attractions as a city in several Eastern newspapers at regular rates. The Chesapeake & Ohio Railroad has put whistles on its locomotives which can be heard thirteen miles. James Salford, of Paterson, N. J., killed himself because his wife on dy- ing left the $1,0()0 she had saved to a sister. A Polish woman at Chicopee. Mass., applied for a three years’ license to gel married, explaining that her husband in the old country was not com ing over for three years. Boston papers say that free soup is not so’much sought after in that city this winter as last, the demand at the soup house since their opening last month shewing a falling oft' of nearly 400 gallons One of the latest cheats is tobacco paper. The stuff is such an exact irn Station of the natural tobacco leaf and is so well flavored that it takes a mag- nifying glass to detect the deception. Cigars made of this tobacco paper have a good flavor, burn well and hold their white ashes firmly. Lord Lyons, English Minister in Paris, has never changed any of his servants —of whom he has eight—- during his long residence in that city, and a correspondent states they es- teem it the greatest honor to have him shake hands with them, which lie does regularly every Christmas morning. Dog-racing is becoming a popular sport in Philadelphia. The distance is from 100 to 500 yards; the dogs evince great interest in the compe- tition’and speculation is lively in the betting ring. Fifty cents a week is all that it costs John \V. Nisslcy, of Mount Carmel, Pa., who is 65 years old and weighs 175 pounds, to live. His diet is dry bread and hot water, and has been so for the last seven years. About two weeks ago the key to the British House of Commons was lost, and some anxiety in consequence pre- vailed, as the opening of Parliament was so near at band. A second key was found afterward. A beaver was captured near Negau- nee, Mich., last week, measuring 5 feet 7 inches in length, said to be the largest ever taken in the upper penin- sula. The Solid Muldoon thus relates how a Colorado conversation occurs: ‘ Here the wretches fragment of con- science gets the bulge on Ins gall, and he weakens.” The Moorish Jews evaded the law j which forbids them to kindle a fire on | the Sabbath by putting their dinner in a j ir and setting it in a hot oven | Fi day night. The di nnor consists of j sailed locust, very often, but it is hot. j According to the Medical Record 1 !; in surance tables show that a man who \ abstains from alcohol has, at 20 years I of ige, a chance of living 44.2 years; at ; , 3(5.5 years, at 40, 2*.* years. An intemperate man's chance at 20 is 15.6 years; at 30, 1.3,8, and 40, 11.(5. An eastern traveler notes that in In- dia every one travels with bed and baggage, and to see half a hundred Hindos widly racing up and down a platform, with their bedclothes in their arms or wrapped around their bodies, is exciting till constant repeti- tion wears off the edge of novelty. When Thomas Avery, of Bethany, Pa,, was shoveling a snowdrift from the back part of his yaid he discover eo, buried iu the snow, a hen which had been missing ten days. The hen had packed the snow down and made a room the size of a bushel basket. Beyond the loss of flesh incident to the long fast the hen was unharmed. King Humbert has directed that hereafter, at state banquets and court dinners, Italian wines, with the exception of champagne, shall he served, instead of foreign. His example has been immediately followed by the ex- khedivo, Ismail Pasha, who gave a dinner-party at his villa, iu Rome. two weeks ago, where oulv Italian w ines were served. In the northeastern island of Terra ; del I uego, the Ia people, who inter- marry frequently with the more south- ern Yahguas, as they are called bv the English missionaries, are the tall- est race on the globe, according to the French mission to Cape Horn report, presented to the academy of science, Paris, by Dr. Hahn. In stock and sp?ech these tall people appear closely related to the Patagonians of the con- tinent. .It is now several years since the Great Eastern has made herself con- spicuous in any way, but 1884 prom- ises to see this far-funi'd vessel once more the wonder of a crowd of lands- men. She is to be used as a floating restaurant, at the Antwerp expo sition. Col. T. S. Parks, of Parks'ferry, Ky., had a flock of pet partridges that came to the porch while the snow was on the ground, twice a day to gel their meal from him, and since the snow has left they still linger about the house. Mrs. T. 8. C. Elder, of Crittenden county. Ky., has in her possession a pair of gloves that were made in 1733. They were a part of her grandmoth- er's wedding toilet, and were the han- diwork of the bride .herself, she hav- j ing made them out of the raw cot- ton. All Indians on the Yokima, W. TANARUS., reservation, over 20 and under 50 years of age, are compelled to pay a poll tax of sl, for the support of their local self-government. They have justices, commissioners, etc. What the Soudan is worth may be gathered from the published statistics, according to which there are 15,000 Christians and 40,000 Egyptians in the provinces; 1.000 commercial houses owned by Europeans and 3,000 by Egyptians, and the import and ex- port trade is valued at 4113,000,000 an- nually. Fatal cases of trichinasia have just occurred in Michigan and Indiana. In both instances German families were the sufferers,and the victims had been eating uncooked swine flesh. The pernicious habit of eating smoked or salted pork without cooking it retain* its hold upon the Germans, notwith- standing the warnings of physicians and tiie .frequent reports of disease and death resulting from the practice. It is thus habit to which the great prevalence of trichiuasis in Germany is to be attributed. Geysers in the Flood. Wheeling Special. A gentleman who has just arrived by boat from Powatan, Ohio, reports a startling flood phenomenon at that point. Yesterday afternoon the in- mates of the house of Aaron Ramsey, of whom there were about sixty, all flood refugees, were startled by aloud report up Captina Creek. On looking in the direction from whence the noise came they saw about 300 yards distant wbat appeared to be a column of smoke issuing from the ground. A party at once proceeded to the spot and found to their amazement that a dense mass of sand, gravel, and mud was issuing from a hole about two feet in diameter, and rising toa height of fifty or sixty feet, and often by sudden pulsation forty or fifty feet higher, accompanied by a terrific roar. The party looked on in awe fora time, but were soon put to flight by another geyser breaking through the ground just in their midst and covering them with mud, which it disgorged to a greater height than the first. The discharge was at first thought to be oc- casioned by natural gas, but all efl'orts to detect its presence by tire or other- wise were futile. Hundreds of curious people have already visited the spot. The members of the court at Rome have been thrown into ecstaciesof ad- miration by the excellent manner in which the Prince of Naples passed his school examination the other day. The King and (jaeen and a number of personages were present, and they all professed to he as much astonish- i ed at the ability displayed by the in- j fant prodigy as were the doctors in | the temple at Jerusalem. The child had been carefully crammed for the i ordeal. Sensible people, according to , the Loudon Truth, are of the opinion I that he is kept far too eloiely to his i tasks, and that if his brain continues j to be so hardly worked there will be I very little brain left by the time he is eighteen. Now York’* Champion Mean Man. New York W jrld. Little Mary Cary, eleven years old. of 37 Poplar street Brooklyn, was sent to purchase some tea by her mother at a store on Fulton street yesterday. She had a $2 hill in her hand, and as she crossed Henry street she was stopped by a cross-eyed man about thirty years of age, who said: “Little girl, ain’t you afraid some of the bad boys will taka that money away from you? Let me wrap it in a piece of paper.” Mary gave the man the bill and he returned her a piece of paper folded up. When she arrived at the store she discovered that the bill was gone. A huge crystal throne has just been manufactured in England for an In- dian rajah. Some idea of the elabor- ate workmanship which has been employed in the construction may be gained from the fact that the finals of the legs are each cut into 321 mathe- matically accuratefacets. Wood and iron are used to some extent to make the throne substantial, but all such parts are covered with glass and hid- den. The cushions and hangings are of crimson velvet, and altogether the rajah is destined to possess a gorgeous and probably a very uncomfortable seat. A San Antonia, Tex,, lath, has become affected with the old-time quail- eating fever, and is now performing the thirty days’ fast for a prize of a [ diamond ring. A IIHUM IT IN V ( AVE. Forly-fonr 1car. of 1,1tf I’assed In 4'mti|>lrlr Solitude. Philadelphia Press. Austin Sheldon, the famous Pike County hermit, has abandoned his cave in the mountains and returned to his birthplace in Connecticut to spend the remainder of his days. For many years “Old Sheldon, the hermit," has been one of the cnribsities of this region, and his cave has been visited by thousands of people. Ho was born ai Sixmiysiae, Conn., in 1802, and is, consequently, in his 82d year. In his boyhood he learned the blacksmith's trade, and. arriving at man's estate, was married to a comely, respectable young woman, who became insane shortly after their union, Sheldon put his wife in a pri- vate asylum, where he supported her until site died. In 1840 he came to Pennsylvania, where he expected to engage in stock-raising, but he fell into the hands of some of the wild land agents who infest this region, and they relieved him of all his cash and deeded him a tract of wild land, in Lehman Township, that was not worth tan cents an acre. When She! don saw how he had been swindled out of his hard-earned money lie raved like a madman and partly lost his reason. He took up his abode in a cave on the premises, and there he has remained ever ,since, desiring no hu man companionship until within the last few years. In 1878 he became enamored of a pretty girl living not many miles from his subterranean home, and asked her to marry him. She indignantly refused, and her parents forbade him to come near their house. Since that time the old min has been thinking of returning to Connecticut, and when a few days ago his sister, a woman 80 years of age—his only living relative came to see him, she induced him to aecoin- paay her to Sunny-side, where she has n comfortable home. FORTY-FOVR VEAlis IN A ( AVK. When, in 1877, the writer first visited the hermit’s ceve the recluse was a most horrible looking object, al- though since than his appearance has altered for the bolter, lie is as deaf as a post, and those who desire to question him are obliged to do so in writing. The cave in which he spent forty-four years i 12x14 feet, with a gravel floor. The furniture consists of four blocks of wood, which serve the purpose of table and chairs, and one old rocking-chair in which he sleeps. He has not slept in a bed for forty-three years, lie says. He has about half an acre of ground which he calls his garden, and in it he grows a little corn and a few potatoes. Upon these vegetables and upon fruit, dried roots, and such game and lish as he can trap the old man has lived for nearly half a century. He has an old Bible which he reads every day, and he can quote chapter after chapter with wonderful accur acy. For thirty-six years the old man never shaved or had his hair cut. He wore curious-looking clothes, which be kept fastened to his person with hickory “withes” secured about his waist ll* never wore a hat. For his defense against wild beasts ho carried a long knife, sharp as a razor, which he made by grinding down an old (lie. Ho never read a newspaper since he came to Pike county; never heard of ihe civil war and never heard of Lin- coln or Grant. He asked who they were and what they did, one day last summer. HAIR BREADTH ESCAPES. The old man's hair-breadih escapes from death have been numerous. In 1870 the horrible forest fires that swept over Pike County surrounded his cave, and lie only escaped from roasting alive by blocking up the en- trance with stones ani remaining a prisoner until the fierceness of the flames abated. Ho hot was the cave, where he remained thirty-six hours, that his vegetables wore made unfit to eat. On another occasion he was snowed under, and for a week lived on crackers, sassafras root, and melt- ed snow. Once while gathering chestnuts he fell from the tree and broke six of his ribs, and, crawling to his cave, remained there without medical assistance until the broken bones were healed His escapes from wild beasts and snakes would fill a volume. The old man is believed to have amassed a considerable sum of money. Visitors to his cave generally gave him a douceur, and his income from the sale of furs and game was considerable. As he never bought anything but crackers, cheese and sugar, he certainly must have saved money. How Some Writers Write. Albany Argus. Most writers have a curiosity as re- gards their fellow-workers. It is a Feeling likely shared by the general public, who find themselves wonder ing at times how certain writers ac complish their work, the hours they devote to it, and the time they find bast fitted for it. The appearance of rnanuscrqrt and the style of cbirog raphy come in for their share of interest. Thackeray is credited with giving up the early morning hours to nutting his thoughts on paper, and I lie remainder of the day to collecting them. He wrote so many words a minute, so many pages an hour, and no believer in moods. He had no sympathy with the theory that a man can write better at one time than another, and declared that the best in- spiration was a piece of shoemaker's wax in the writer's chair. Most of the shining lights in litera- ture, past and present,are distinguished for most illegible bane!writing, a mark of genius which seems to he their pride, since they have been known to refer with evident satisfact- ion to the fact that only certain prin- ters can set up their copy, and that they themselves have been unable to read it until the subject had been sug- ‘ gested. Among the novelists of to-day the women are apparently the more careful as to the neatness and legibility of their MSS. Mrs. Frances Hodgson Burnett is a precise writer, putting in- to her stories just so many hundreds of words, telling Iter publishers the exact number beforehand Miss Lou- ise Alcott affects a back hand style, making' her letters clearly and putt ing words far apart, so li at they arc easily read. Miss Fletcher, “Kismet's” author, writes so evenly and distinct- ly that her pages have the appearance oi being engraved, and are suggestive of much rewriting and care. The copy of Jean Ingelovr shows uncertain, almost childish characters, traced on an unruled surface. Nora Perry inclines to violet ink, and has a [lowing, extremely graceful hand- writing, together with a habit of scenting her paper. Mis A. H. T. Whitney has an Italian stylo of chi rograpny, and scrawls but a few words in a line neither easy to read nor pretty to look at. Elizabeth Stuart Phelps writes with the tremulous hand of an ajed woman, and Lucy laii corn's writing looks as if the hand thn’ wielded (he pen was old and slitf. “ Jennie .Tuns" (Mrs. Croly) writes easily and legibly, as does also “(Jrace Greenwood" (Mrs. Lippincolti. Em- ily Faithful writes m an English, masculine hand. Mrs. Julia Ward Howe wastes no time on shading her letters, and has a way of putting pecu- liar twists to them that look funny and yet don’t make them illegible. Mrs, Celia Thaxter is always careful to leave a margin to the left of her page, but writes a back hand, and is apt to run off the sheet to to the right. Mrs. Mary Booth, of Harpers Bazar, writes unevenly, but easily. Mrs. Louise Chandler Moulton is the model writer, punctuates, capitalises and par- agraphs with the utmost exactness. Once, at a New York press dinnes, George William Curtis proposed her health, as the contributor who fur- nishedjperfect copy. Mrs. Lucy Stone Blackwell, of tho Women’s Journal, is said to jot down her ideas on what- ever ki ml of pa pi r is handiest old envelopes or circulars in a hand- I writing awkward and unformed, with many erasures and paragraph marks. Among the men, Wm. D. Howells’ writing is cramped and irregular. Henry James writes firmly, with heavy ink, his letters looking as though made with a quill, T. B. Aid- rich writes so hastily that hischarac- tens seem but half formed. M. Twain’s penmanship is business like and per fectly plain, but ho often uses a type writer. Hr. Haines’ writing is exceed ingly neat; he does it with ease and rapidity, and George Parsons Lathrop sends copy to the printer that, though ; rather nervously written, is correct- ly punctuated and has all the print er's marks added. LOTE AT FIRST SIGHT. \ Kotinniro ol the \\ Urn Ohio Wni >ot bo cl low n* It 1b low, Louisville Ijttttr in New Orleans Tiwir* I)#*moor a I While speaking of romances and beauty, I have an authentic account of how a notsd LouisTille belle first met her husband, which sounds more like action than matter of fact. About 35 years ago the landing of a steam- boat carrying passengers was considered a social event of some importance, not only because this was the chief mode of travel where navigation made it possible, but because the superb boats that then plied up and down tin- Mississippi were floating palaces, and carried on board constantly the most brilliant crowds of society people. The time spent on the water was passed in dancing, feasting and flirting, and on the occasion of which I am speaking an unusually gay and distinguished party were on their way to St. Louis. The party included some of th most famous beaux of the day, and the belle of the trip was a well-known Louisville beauty. It seems that the Louisville girl reached her destination fancy free. For, as the boat drew up to the landing and the crowd on the shore surg- ed down to the water’s edge to secure a glimpse of the newcomers, Miss became absorbed in watching the movements of a gentleman by the gangway. He was tall and elegant looking and strictly handsome. Miss aid not know his name, nor if he were benedict or bachelor, but conviction suddenly seized her, and, turning to a companion, she said, irn- presiirely: “There (pointing out the gentleman in question i stands the man whom I will marry.’ In an in- \ credibly short period of time she did j marry lurn, but the cream of the story lies in the fact that he had made a , precisely similar remark in regard to | heron first beholding the fair Lmi ' villian as she stood, surrounded by . her admirers, on the steamer. (Quickest Courtship on Record. NVw York Mercury. “The quickest courtship on record,” j remarked mi old resident, “was that of Dr. Nick McDowell, who, driving; along the street in his buggy one day, saw a beautiful girl standing at a window. He immediately stopped and hitched his horse, rang the bell, inquired the lady’s name, was ushered into the parlor, announced bis own ■ name, said be was pleased with her appearance, and wished to marry her at once. Nothing but the knowledge that she was in the presence of the celebrated physician kept her from fainting. To her plea of surprise at this unexpected announcement he only replied, ‘Now or never.’ When she asked to lake a week to consider, he said, T am going down the street to attend a critical case, ami have no time to spare right now.’ ‘Give me a day then?’ Til tell you what I’ll do. When 1 am through with this profes- sional visit I’ll drive around and get a preacher. If you’ve made up your mind by that time, all right!’ and he left her breathless and unable to ar- ticulate another word. When he returned they were quietly married." The Lord Mayor of Hand witch Eng- land, followed his eloping daughter to Austin, Texas. A deteciive employed ' fur the purpose, decoyed the young ! husband otf on a hunt, and the father j persuaded his daughter to pack her | trunk, and they quietly left for j home. STAND AND Dill.lVF.U STOKIPS. The <'onla ftion ol‘n Slajje-ro!ber Who THlnlia (lie A\ er**:e Pa**etij;er a >io body Heim Letter iu the San FVauolsco Chronicle. “Talking about brave men,” stage robber Marshall said one night in jail, “the idea that it lakes a man of great nerve and daring to rob a stag* 1 is a great mistake The trouble with the people of this country is, they father like to bo robbed. 1 guess, it's easier’n falling oil’ a he,-. Whv, a year ago last wif r my pard and 1 was walk- ing along lie.- mountain road, not thinking of anything in particular, when along came a couple of tenderfeet in a carriage. Before we could catch our breath one of them threw n(i both hands, knocking the other’s hut oil, and hollered. 'For God’s sake, don’t shoot ’ Well, now, we hadn't any idea of shooting at. all. and didn’t know these fellers wet# in thus-' parts, but when they sort of re- minded ns of our business by com- mencing to unbuckle their watches and weasels, why, we just took them in charge of course, and told the tenderfeet never to let us catch them on that road again, for it was our'n, They thanked us so warmly for spar- ing their lives that I felt a little un- easy about it. It fact, I was half tempted after we’d let them go to ful- ler them up and kill one or both of them, for somehow they gave me the impression that 1 hadn’t dom; my full duly.” He smiled grimly fora mo- ment, and added: “Now, what on earth could I do under such circum- stances; I didn’t rob these fellers. They mad. 1 us presents of what they had. Vet, when they got. to Wads worth they told the people that they had an all-day fight with road agents “I and my parti have robbed the Sierra Valley singe three times now at tin)same place. I’ll tell you how it was done Pard had a Winchester and 1 had a pair of Colts in my belt; but the job was done every time with an old powder and hall pistol that had no load in it, and wouldn’t have gone off if there had been one, for 1 didn’t have any cap*. Pard would lire his Winchester is close l<> the eu s of the horses as lie could without dropping them and 1 would swing the ohl biunderbus in the air and holler. Every time ii happened just the same. There was only just my pard and I, but the passengers would thing they see some of our men behind every lr< e “One feller fainted dead away! once. We’d just got them in a row | good when this fellow’s knees com-j meiiced to knock together, ami he I kept getting <>u< of tine. I finally j thought I d sen re him end the rest of them a little, so 1 hollered, pretending j to give orders to the boy s bidden be- j bind rocks and trees: “Boys, bore a hole in this gentleman with the light overcoat on if he \ moves uu inch, or any of the rest of I them.’ “Just then a big feller, the second ] one from the limber- legged chap, had a chill like, ami bis teeth same together with such a noise that the other filler thought somebody was cocking a nllc, and with a wild whoop I he dropped in a dead faint. The rest: of them thought he had been shot dead. They were too scared to no- tice that there had been no report of a gun. “Speaking about weapons, why, 1 have robbed stages up in California and over in Utah without any weapons at all. You don’t need a ay. I’ll bet a tenner that I can lake an old fashioned tin candlestick and hold up the best stage load that ever came over the mountains.’’ A I tali Hnonslide, Salt. Lake lli iald. Gaelic Valley, this season, has already been the scene of several rather serious snowslides. Almost simultan- eously with the one recounted in a special dispatch to the Herald last week another less disastrous in its ef feels occurred in Southfield Canyon. Two boys were engaged getting out wod, and without any warning were suddenly buried under the swift and powerful body, which, however, bad not attained sufficient proportions to cover the bodies over with any great depth. Fortunately there were parlies further up the canyon, who, on heal- ing the noise, hurried to the scene and succeeded in extricating one of the victims, who had become so effective- ly entangled in tin* legs of one of the horses as to render self help impracti- cable. The dog the boys bad been far enough away to escape the disaster, and performed a very valuable aid in the recovery of the I other boy by scenting Ibe body and uncovering the head and face by scratching the snow. What was most remarkable, neither of the boys sus- : tallied any serious injuries, the most; being inflicted by the horse in the lat- ter's struggles for freedom. Mourning Monkeys. The solicitude and care of monkeys fora dead companion were remark \ ably shown m an instance related by J. Forbes, F. H H , in bis “Oriental j memoirs.” One of a shooting parly having killed a female monkey, carried it to his lent, which was immediately surrounded .by forty or fifty of her companions, who made a great noise ami seemed about to attack their enemy. Till his gun, the dreadful ef- fect of which they had witnessed, was presented, however, the head of the party stood his ground, chattering fu- riously. The sportsman, feeling some little compunction for having killed one of them, did not like to (ire at the cr ature, and yet nothing short of firing would suffice to drive them off. At length he came to the door of the tent, began a lamentable moaning, and by ihe most expressive gesture seemed to beg for the dead body, which was at last given to him ; sorrowfully he look it in his arms and bore it away to his companions. Old Mr. Joyce’s Iff curd. Chicago Tribune, Robert Joyce, of West Indiana street, is- eignty years of age. For twenty-six years be drank incessantly, his giant frame and iron muscles en- aiding him to withstand enormous quantities of intoxicants, lie estim- ates that lie drank on an average about ninety drinks of whisky per day, which, according to his estimate of the size of the portion swallowed each time, must have amounted to about two thousand barrels. For many years Mr. Joyce has been sober, and even abstemious, his dissipation having occurred at the other end of his longlife. He says he drank the best whisky ne could find, but thinks his preservation is duo rather to his excellent constitution than the quality of the distillation absorbed by if. Ho was never drunk to bis knowledge, he says, but be often “felt good.” Ho is not sorry he drank it, but if he had to live his life over again he would not touch it. When he began to drink be was keeping a paying saloon in Host on. From there he went into tho wholesale liquor business. He is now penniless and dependent. Where Wisconsin Asserted Herself. Wall Struct NVws A government agent, who was sent to Wisconsin lasi fall to look up tres- pass cases on government lands was out on his travels one day when he found a man whaling away at some choice timber on one of Uncle Sam's sections. “Any land for sale around here.'” queried the agent “Wall, thar' might was the re ply. “I'd like to buy a whole section.” “Have ye the cash to pay? ' “1 have.” “I monglil sell you this.” “Can you give a clear deed?" “Clear us a whistle, stranger. Gimme ssnt) cash, and I’ll deed ye the section afore sundown." The agent coolly unrolled a map. spread it out on a log, and said: “Von eili see by this map that Uncle Sam owns this section. How, then, can you give me a deed of it !” “See hyar, stranger."said the chop per, after a long pause, “maybe you is ons of those chaps as argue lies that Uncle Sam is i. bigger iiinii than a free-born citizen of old Wisconsin! I’ll give ye jist three minnits to skip out!’’ The agent wanted only two. Helling Had Hoys. Austin l*n*ss. t )wing to the tendency of our young Austin boys to gravitate toward bond luimsm after dark, the Hoard of Com- missioners concluded to make them go home at night, ami not run the streets any more. A town ordinance was ac- cordingly passed to that elfeet, and now from the tower of the ball of Eagle Engine Company No J rings aloud the curfew bell every evening at eight o'clock, giving just ci -lit taps as a warning for the boys to vanish homeward or be arrested. The boys tumbled to the racket forthwith, not i willingly, but judiciously, knowing j that the entire police force stood 'ready and watching to gobble them i up, unless they could show uuthorita- I live permission from parents or gnur (bans, or that they were on errands or 1 in discharge of some legitimate duty. At all public entertainments, especial- ly theatrical, these buys have been a I very serious source of annoyance to both performers and audience, crowd ing the back sc its and entry and driv ing people vvild with their yells, shrieks, whistling and stamping. It had l*> be stopped. I!,ill Indictment. Arkunsaw Traveler. A highly respected citizen was nr r.iigned before the court for shooting and killing a friend. The evidence was direct, and after exhaustive itr gurnents hud been made the Judge said: “it is clearly proven that you are guilty as is charged by the indictment.'’ “But I protest ray innocence,” replied the prisoner. “The indictment reads that I did shoot and kill the gentleman with powder and a leaden bullet. This is a mistake i bad no bullets at the time, so I loaded my gun with powder and a horseshoe nail.” “That indeed, alters the ease," said the Judge. “The indictment said bul let when it should have said nail. You are discharged, sir.” Ituried in the Hack Yard. Fort Worth UaaetU*. Tom Wilson, of Terrell, owned a monkey, which died. Its body was placed in a cofiin, funeral notices printed and preparations made to bury it in the city cemetery. The people protested and hinted shot-guns, and Tom buried his ancestor in the back yard, They All Knew How. Fortlaud l*rs. 1 took a large spider from his web under (he basement of a mill, put him on a chip, and set him afloat on the quiet waters of the pond. He walked all about the sides of the bark, sur- veying the situation very carefully, and wnen the fact that he was alloat and about a yard from the shore seemed to be fully comprehended, he prospected for the nearest point of land. This point fairly settled upon, he immediately began to east a web for it. He threw it us far as possible in tho air and with the wind. It soon reached the shore, and made fast to *he spires of grass. Then he turned urn seif about, and in true sailor I fashion began to haul in hand over I hand on his cable. Carefully he drew ! upon it until his bark began to move I toward the shore. As it moved the faster, the faster he drew upon it to keep his hawser taut from touching the water. Very Soon he reached the shore, and quickly leaping to terra firms he sped his way homeward. Thinking then that he might be a special expert, and an exception in that line of bo itnianship to the r< st of his companions, I tried several of them and they all came to shore in like manner.

Mineral Point tribune (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1884-02-28 [p ] › lccn › sn86086770 › ...PERSONS...

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Transcript of Mineral Point tribune (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1884-02-28 [p ] › lccn › sn86086770 › ...PERSONS...