Methods of Counseling Therapy

8/17/2019 Methods of Counseling Therapy

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A Practical Workshop on A Practical Workshop on

Counselling TherapyCounselling Therapy

Master Trainer and Coach

Dr.Arivalan DBA SLSU, Phil; PhD, USMCertified NLP Coach (ABNLP); Certified Time Line Therapist (TMTA), Certified Hypnotherapist

(IACT, UA)

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Note for participants

During this to days interactive or!shop" so#e

slides ill be intentionally s!ipped to custo#ize thetraining according to the participant$s or!

situations.

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‘…‘…we must learn to understand the ‘out-of-we must learn to understand the ‘out-of-

awareness’ aspets of ommuniation! "e mustawareness’ aspets of ommuniation! "e must

ne#er assume that we are full$ aware of what wene#er assume that we are full$ aware of what weommuniate to someone else! %here e&ists in theommuniate to someone else! %here e&ists in the

world toda$ tremendous distortions in meanin' asworld toda$ tremendous distortions in meanin' as

men tr$ to ommuniate with one another’ men tr$ to ommuniate with one another’

&dard T. Hall&dard T. Hall %he Silent Lan'ua'e%he Silent Lan'ua'e

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‘ ‘ %he meanin' of an$ ommuniation is defined ($%he meanin' of an$ ommuniation is defined ($

the response it eliits’ the response it eliits’

(


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Who am I?Who am I?

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Communication modelCommunication model

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&*T&+NA,&*T&+NA,

&-&NT&-&NT

+&/,T+&/,T0&HA-2/+ 0&HA-2/+

Ti#e3paceTi#e3pace

Matter3&nergyMatter3&nergy

,anguage,anguage

Me#oriesMe#ories

DecisionsDecisions

Meta 4rogra#sMeta 4rogra#s

-alues 5 0eliefs-alues 5 0eliefs

AttitudesAttitudes

NT&+NA,NT&+NA,

+&4+&4

TAT&TAT&

4H62,2G64H62,2G6

7,T&+7,T&+

D&,&T&D&,&T&DT2+TDT2+T

G&N&+A,&G&N&+A,&

% 0illion bits per sec% 0illion bits per sec

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Conscious and SubconsciousConscious and Subconscious

MindMind



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Communication ProcessCommunication Process

BE P!ACTI"EBE P!ACTI"E

1Be

proactive

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Circle of

Concern

Circle of

Concern

REACTIVE FOC!)*e'ati#e ener'$ redues

the +irles of nfluenes

"ROACTIVE FOC!)Positi#e ener'$ enlar'es

the +irles of nfluenes

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Realities of CommunicationRealities of Communication

Psychology Psychology

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T#ree t#eories of $eter%inis% affectin& our

response to a certain sti%ulus

Genetic deter#inis# =DNA>

4sychic deter#inis# =childhood e?perience>&nviron#ental deter#inis# =boss" spouse"

econo#ic situation" notational policies>

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Counselling Skills And Techni#uesCounselling Skills And Techni#ues

Core Conditions

Empathy$ %nderstanding &hat the client 'eels and not (ust &hatyou &ould 'eel i' you &ere the client)

*enuineness$ Being &ho you are &ithout pretense or hidingbehind the +therapist, role)

%nconditional Positi-e egard$ Accepting the person 'or &ho

he or she may be &ithout putting conditions on it)

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Attending

Physical Attending$ Posture. eye contact. and general bodyposition that communicates the counselor is paying attention tothe client)

/ 0o not ha-e a physical ob(ect bet&een you and the client)

/ Maintain a com'ortable distance bet&een you and theclient)

/ 1ace the client directly) / Establish eye contact)

/ Maintain an open posture)

/ 2ean to&ard the client)

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Attending

Psychological Attending$ The ability to pick up on the client3snon4-erbal as &ell as the -erbal messages)

4aralinguistics 7acial &?pressions

The client avoids eye contact 6aning0ody posture The distance the client puts

beteen the to of you.

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Active Listening

1ocusing on all aspects o' a client3s e5pression)

/ esist distractions)

/ 2isten to the client3s tone o' -oice)

/ 2isten 'or cues to the client3s 'eelings)

/ 2isten 'or generali6ations. deletions. and distortions)

/ 2isten 'or common cogniti-e and emotional themes)



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Encouraging As A Part of Attending

"erbal and non-erbal &ays o' encouraging the client tocontinue to share his or her thoughts. 'eelings or beha-iors)

/ +%mhum,

/ +Tell me more),

/ +7e yelled at you?,

/ +Can you gi-e me an e5ample?,

/ +And that means8?,

/ !r simply nodding your head)



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Exploration Skills

esponding &ith Empathy$ 2istening and understanding as i'you &ere the client and then communicating yourunderstanding)

/ e'lecting content)

/ e'lecting 'eeling)

/ e'lecting meaning)

/ Summari6ing content)

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Probes and Questions

Probing$ 0irect or indirect #uestions to 'urther e5plore a line o'thought)

9uestioning$

/ 0irect 9uestions$ 9uestions that are to the point)

/ Indirect 9uestions$ !pen #uestions &ith no #uestion markat the end)

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Silence

It can be used as an encourager)

It keeps the 'ocus on the client)

It can help the client absorb &hat &as said)

It can help the client collect his or her thoughts 'or e5pression)

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Understanding

Ad-anced empathy$

/ Attends to the 'eelings and thoughts that are not e5pressedby the client)

/ 7elps the client see the bigger picture)

/ 7elps to open up areas 'or counseling 'or &hich the client

is either una&are or has only hinted at)

/ 7elps to identi'y themes)

/ 7elps the client o&n his or her 'eelings and beha-iors)

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Self-Disclosure

Sharing personal in'ormation &ith a client)

/ It must be 'or the bene'it o' the client and not thecounselor)

/ It can be used as a model to help the client sel'4disclose)

/ It should not take the 'ocus o'' the client)

/ %sed sparingly and appropriately. it can enhance thetherapeutic relationship)

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Confrontation

A 'orm o' ad-anced empathy &hich helps the client look atthoughts and beha-iors that might be sel'4de'eating or harm'ul)

/ It is a 'orm o' challenge and not a -erbal assault)

/ It needs to be done &ith a high le-el o' empathy)

/ %sually it is in re'erence to a incongruence or discrepancyon the client3s part)

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mmediac!

The ability to e5plore the here and no& in the relationship bet&eencounselor and client)

/ Immediacy uses present tense statements)

/ It usually relates to the counselors -ie& o' the relationship)

/ It adds intimacy to the counseling relationship)

+Copyright : Allyn ; Bacon ,

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nterpretation

An attempt to impart meaning about a clients beha-ior based uponthe counselors obser-ations and understanding)

/ It can help increase the clients a&areness or insight)

/ Some theories place more emphasis on interpretation thanothers)

/ Interpretation o'ten puts the counselor in a more authoritarian

position &ithin the relationship)

/ Trust &ith the client is an essential ingredient 'or success'ulinterpretation)


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Directives

Instructions gi-en to the client)

/ Basically it is the counselor telling the client &hat to do)

/ The timing in gi-ing a directi-e is important)

/ Some theories use more directi-es than others)




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Advising

A 'orm o' directi-e)

/ The ad-ising should not be seen as a command or a demand)

/ Counselors need to take responsibility 'or the ad-ice theygi-e)

/ 0o the ad-ising in such a &ay as it lea-es the client &ith theultimate choice)




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+A442+T+A442+TAND 4&+/A+-& C2MM/NCAT2NAND 4&+/A+-& C2MM/NCAT2N

%:


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APP!TAPP!T

!tructure of Rapport' 4rofessor Albert (e#rabian) 4h.D." of the

/niversity of California" ,os Angles =/C,A>"in 1;9% in a series of controlled e?peri#entsas able to de#onstrate that non@verbal signalsere significantly #ore influential than othersti#uli =see nu#bers belo>.

He found that #ore than ;


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"#at is $apport %"#at is $apport %

en people become like eac# ot#er'en people become like eac# ot#er'

t#e! like eac# ot#er t#e! like eac# ot#er A state o' trusting and openness) A perception o' liking and being liked) A state o' 'eeling o' closeness and sa'ety)

A state &here a person is less critical o' ideas o''ered to them)@ to @@ to manyMany to many

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$apport$apport

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APP!TAPP!T

()* of our

communication

takes place on

t#e

subconsciouslevel

P#!siolog!Posture Stance

*esture

1acial E5pression

Breathing

Eye Mo-ement Blinking

+onalit!"olume loudness

Tone pitch Tempo speed

Timbre #uality clarity

esonance

"ordsPredicates Dey

Words

Common

e5periences ;

associations Content

chunks

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$apport t#roug# P#!siolog!$apport t#roug# P#!siolog!

(atc#in&

(irrorin&

Crossover (irrorin&

"ostureGestures

Facial E*pression an$ Blin+in&

Breat#in&

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Mirroring EECISEMirroring EECISE

A faces 0 ith C sitting =or standing>

behind 0$s peripheral vision.

C places the#selves in an unusual postureith facial e?pressions.

A #irror the C$ gesture to 0.

Change 4artnersB.

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,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s /alues 0/alues1,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s /alues 0/alues1

Establis#in& an$ %aintainin& rapport, 0e sure that you are#atching the other person e?actly. tart off ith a second or

to delay in your #atching or #irroring and then #ove to

#atching the other person al#ost si#ultaneously ithin a

#inute or to. Avoid #atching the other person using subtle

#atches. This is not a #atch @ do and #ove e?actly as they

do. The only ay to get into deep rapport is to be illing to

do hat they do @ 1


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Elicitin& or creatin& e%otional states, 0asically e

are tal!ing about having the ability3s!ill to either

elicit or create an e#otional state in the other person"

that is the perfect e#otional state for the# to be in if

they ere to naturally go ahead and carry out the

#utually beneficial suggestion or action. This

includes the ability to be able to put yourself into this

state =all your verbals and non@verbals ill indicateyou are in this state> before you create or elicit the

sa#e e#otional state in others.



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(atc#in& t#e ot#er person-s criteria an$ values. &licitingand #atching e?actly the other persons criteria and valuesfor the conte?t you ish to influence and persuade. /tilizingcriteria is critical That is hat this !ill 0uilding &?ercise

ill cover. (atc#in& process.strate&y, rresistible influence and

persuasion is obtained hen you are able to deter#ine the process3strategy the other person uses for any particulardecision that they #a!e or action that they ta!e.. Again this

is conte?t dependent. 7ind out their process and put yourcontent into that process and it ill be absolutely irresistibleto the#. =More about this in a future e?ercise>.



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Eliciting and matc#ing t#e ot#erEliciting and matc#ing t#e ot#er

person.s values2person.s values2

4lease note e ill only cover Eust the very

basics here.

n order to understand this lets assu#e thate are going to influence or persua$e

so%eone to act or t#in+ in a certain /ay

that ould be #utually beneficial to the#and to us.

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Eliciting +#e t#er Person.sEliciting +#e t#er Person.s

/alues2/alues2

0efore e go into ho e can elicit

so#eones values" lets ensure that e

understand hat e #ean by so#eonesvalues. =Ne?t slide includes e?cerpts fro#

#y unpublished #anuscript on Meta@

4rogra#s entitled F4atterns of nfluenceF

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/alues/alues

T#e Values "attern'

Values are conte*t $epen$ent, Eac# person #as t#eir o/n non0verbal process for $eter%inin& /#en

so%et#in& is &oo$) rit or appropriate or ba$) /ron& an$ inappropriate for

t#e%, Eac# person #as /or$s an$ p#rases /#ic# $escribe t#ese processes,

T#ese /or$s an$ p#rases are calle$ values, #en a person-s values are %et

t#ey /ill feel &oo$ an$ /#en t#e values are not %et t#ey /ill feel ba$ly, It is i%portant to note t#at /#en so%eone #ears t#eir o/n personal values

t#ey /ill feel &oo$,

It /ill be as t#ou t#ey 2ust reco&nize$ a particular situation /#ic# %et

t#eir values an$ /#ic# &ave t#e% pleasant feelin&s, T#is is because t#ey

#ave learne$ to associate t#e &oo$ feelin&s /it# t#e values /or$s an$

p#rases,

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3o& to Elicit or 4ind3o& to Elicit or 4ind

Someone.s /aluesSomeone.s /alues e elicit or find out so#eones values by as!ing one of to

uestions. The general uestions to as! are eitherI #at is i%portant to you in a 3435

or #at-s i%portant to you about a 3435 here F*F is the conte?t in hich you ish to obtain the

values. 7or e?a#pleI f you ere a car salesperson @ you ould ant

to !no the persons values for hat they considered a goodcar" so that you could be sure that the car that you sell the#ill #et their values. f it does" they #ay buy it and if itdoesnt" they ill not buy it.

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3o& to Elicit or 4ind3o& to Elicit or 4ind

Someone.s /alues cont5Someone.s /alues cont5 o" you ould as! either of these values elicitation uestionsI

#at $o you /ant in a car5

2r

#at-s i%portant to you about a car5

n ansering the uestion the person ill give you a list of

ords and phrases. These ill be the values hich #a!e

the# feel good about F*F. n our e?a#ple a car. f you FsayF

a persons values bac! to the#" they should feel good. f they

do not feel good or sho a pleasant response @ hat you said

as not their values.

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3o& +o $ecogni6e or dentif!3o& +o $ecogni6e or dentif!

+#e /alues cont5+#e /alues cont5 In our e*a%ple) let-s say t#at /e as+' #at-s i%portant to

you about a car5 An$ t#ey respon$) 3e nee$ so%et#in&

t#at is econo%ical an$ #as enou roo% for %y fa%ily,3 T#e

t/o values t#at t#ey &ave us #ere are' J it %ust be econo%ical,

J it %ust #ave roo% for a fa%ily,

e coul$ as+ essentially t#e sa%e 6uestion a&ain to &et %ore

values, e as+) 3An$ /#at else is i%portant to you53

In ans/erin&) t#ey %it say) 3It #as to also #ave four /#eel$rive so /e can &et aroun$ t#e #ills,3 Here /e &et anot#er

value' &ettin& aroun$ t#e #ills,

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,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s


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,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s

/alues/aluese se Ot#er "erson-s Values in Our 7an&ua&e To Create a (ore

Co%plete n$erstan$in&,

e t#en use t#e person-s values in a sentence) in relation to 343) bac+

to t#e%, e $o not interpret t#e %eanin& of t#e /or$s or p#ases8 /e use

t#e e*act /or$s $irectly as t#ey sai$ t#e% to us, e $o not parap#rase9

In our e*a%ple) /e %it say) 3Great) so you-re loo+in& for a car t#at isecono%ical) #as plenty of roo% for your fa%ily an$ #as front /#eel

$rive so you can &et aroun$ in t#e #ills, Is t#at rit53

#en /e 3say3 t#is values bac+ to t#e%) t#ey s#oul$ feel &oo$ an$ /e

s#oul$ be able to notice it in t#eir non0verbal co%%unication :a #ea$

no$$in&) a s%ile etc,;,

If t#ey $o not feel &oo$ or s#o/ a pleasant response) /#at /e sai$ /as

not t#eir values an$ /e /oul$ re0as+ t#e values elicitation 6uestions,

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,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s /alues,atc#ing +#e t#er Person.s /alues

In sellin& a car to t#e people in our e*a%ple) /#at is real i%portant tot#e person are'

t#at it is econo%ical

t#at it #as roo% for t#e fa%ily

t#at it can &et aroun$ t#e #ills

It is i%portant to note t#at ot#er features an$ benefits of a car are not asi%portant as t#ese, !o if you /ere to atte%pt to sell t#is person /it# any

ot#er benefit t#at is i%portant to you 0 t#ey /oul$ not li+ely buy 0

because it is not i%portant to t#e%,

T#e +ey #ere is t#at you $o not sell /#at features an$ benefits you li+e)

t#e %anufacture e%p#asizes etc, 00 you sell /#at t#e buyer /ants9

#ile /e #ave e%p#asize$ values #ere) /e assu%e t#at all t#e ot#er

s+ills in irresistible co%%unicatin& /ill also be use$,

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rresistible Communication' nfluence andrresistible Communication' nfluence and

PersuasionPersuasion

/erbal pacing and leading/erbal pacing and leading Verbal pacin& an$ lea$in&. 4acing hat is undeniably

true and leading to hat e ant to be believed as true

or hat has yet to be established as being true. n

addition using Advanced ,anguage 4atterns to covertlyinsert co##ands to the other persons unconscious #ind.


Eliciting and Creating EmotionalEliciting and Creating Emotional

http://5%20verbal%20pacing%20and%20leading.docx/http://5%20verbal%20pacing%20and%20leading.docx/


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Eliciting and Creating EmotionalEliciting and Creating Emotional

States2States2

0efore e actually get into &liciting and Creating otionaltates" lets revie a little of hat call or!ing theory or

hat is it that #a!es this or! so ell and so easily. ell

briefly loo! at these i#portant concepts.

tart ith an outco#e in #ind. hat is the Fe#otional stateFyou ant to produce in yourself and in the other person.

Al#ost anything is possible hen you are in rapport ith

so#eone.

To create an e#otional state in so#eone else you #ust first put yourself in that state.


ole play on 'eedback$ choose a partner andole play on 'eedback$ choose a partner and


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p y pp y ppro-ide your 'eedbackpro-ide your 'eedback

Da!ang 0,anager17 Fou are meeting &ith Ana / a super-isor &ho hasbeen &ith the 0epartment 'or about si5 years and understands ho& toget things done / to re-ie& his per'ormance on a recent productionpro(ect)

Ana is a skilled super-isor and &orks tirelessly) 7o&e-er. her people

skills are bad and the operators morale are on high time lo& andre#uiring inter'erence 'rom 0ayang)

Fou ask to meet &ith Ana to pro-ide him &ith positi-e 'eedback andguidance about the appropriate le-el o' people management)

Ana 0Emplo!ee17 Fou &ere 'rustrated by 0ayang constantinter'erence in your (ob) Fou &ish that 0ayang had more clearlye5plained &hat he &as e5pecting up 'ront. as &ell as &hy e5plain &hyhe is not happy &ith you 'or doing your (ob &ell)

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TIME 2IGE T7EAPFTIME 2IGE T7EAPF

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Case study: A shrinking comfort zone


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Case study: A shrinking comfort zone

One of the very rst clients I had, nearly 30 years ago, was Marion.

Marion was a young woman who had been recently bereaved. One day

not long after the funeral she was shopping in a big supermarket. he wastired, she hadn!t eaten much, and the store was crowded and hot. "hile

standing at the checkout she suddenly had a panic attack. #anic attacks

are horrible when they happen, and Marion had been so frightened, she

thought she was dying. he also believed she!d made a fool of herself bycrying, sobbing and pushing past people to get to the e$it. %wo days later

she went back to the same shop and had the thought !what if it happens

again&!'s she remembered the frightening sensations of her last attack,

her body produced the sensations again (remember, action follows

thought), and she had a second attack. he decided that in future she

would *+ a smaller shop nearer home. owever, as she entered the

smaller store, she talked to herself again about her previous

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attacks, building up what is called in -# a sensory rich experience. %hat

is, she created a picture, with sounds and feelings, of an attack. he

/uickly produced a third panic attack. "ithin si$ weeks of her rst attack

Marion had made her comfort envelope so small that she would not leave

the house. he called me the day she realised that she was working out

how feasible it would be to put a small makeshift kitchen and a commode

into the corner of her living room so she did not have to leave the one

room when she was in the house by herself.

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*ame o' Trust*ame o' Trust

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*ame o' Trust*ame o' Trust



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%sing Sub4Modalities to%sing Sub4Modalities to

Change the %n&anted 7abitsChange the %n&anted 7abits



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In'luence o' the Intrinsic andIn'luence o' the Intrinsic and

E5trinsic 1actorsE5trinsic 1actors

Extrinsic 4actors8

External Stimuli

ntrinsic 4actors8

Ps!c#olog!



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Understanding a Context is crucial for usingUnderstanding a Context is crucial for using

t#e Language and 9e#avior Profilet#e Language and 9e#avior Profile

The fra#e of reference a person puts around a situation is the

Conte?t. ince hu#an beings are fle?ible by nature" they

are able to behave differently at different ti#es. Are e

tal!ing about you at or!" in a coaching situation" in acouple relationship" ith your !ids" ith your peers" hen

you are on holiday" or hen you are buying a houseK

i#ply because a person has a certain pattern =or habit> in

a given place and ti#e does not indicate that she ill havethat sa#e pattern in another Conte?t.



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,otivation +raits,otivation +raits

T#e first si* cate&ories in t#e 7AB "rofile s#o/you ho a person tri&&ers an$ %aintains t#eir%otivation,


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,otivation +raits,otivation +raits

Ho people trigger and #aintain their

interest level and conversely" hat ill de@

#otivate the#.&ach pattern is described belo in its

e?tre#e for#.


2 d B h i P 'il 2AB


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2anguage and Beha-iour Pro'ile 2AB2anguage and Beha-iour Pro'ile 2AB

+o&ards +o 0++1 A&a! 4rom 0A41

Procedures ptional

Proactive $eactive

nternal External




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Self t#ers

ndependent Cooperative

Detail :eneral

,ore 4acts ,ore "ords

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MethodsMethods

,!8,! ;ou 8,!


Case 'or discussionCase 'or discussion


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Chong is a #an ith less tal! but very detail in his or!. He rarely appreciate

his subordinates even though they do their duties ell on ti#e. He alays li!e

to change the or! procedures and #ethods to thin!ing to enhance the

productivity. This approach at ti#es confuses the operators on hich #ethodsto choose. He see#s to !no everything about the process and the #achines

and very freuently he has conflicts ith technicians on the ti#e ta!en to

adEust the #achines that ent rong. There ere fe occasions that he

repaired the #achine by hi#self and got into trouble.

=uestion) i$entify C#on&>s personality base$ on t#e 7AB personality

type,

As C#on&>s supervisor) Ho/ $oes t#e +no/le$&e of t#e personality type

coul$ assist you to un$erstan$ an$ co%%unicate /it# C#on& better, ,


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Emotional IntelligentEmotional Intelligent

12Global Horizon Consultancy

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EE• What is emotional intelligence?

• What are the components?

• What drives situational climate?

• What are the six leadership styles?

• What is the best style for specific situational

climates?

• What are the keys to success?



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+motional intelligence istwice as important ascognitive abilities in predicting

employee performance andaccounts for more than 456of star performance in top

leadersDaniel Goleman, Harvard Business Review



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The 1i-e Components o' EIThe 1i-e Components o' EI

elf@Aareness @The ability to recognize and understand your#oods" e#otions" and drivers" as ell as their effects on others

elf@Manage#ent3+egulation @ The ability to control orredirect disruptive i#pulses and #oods and to thin! before act

Motivation @A passion to or! for reasons that go beyond #oney andstatus. A propensity to pursue goals ith energy and persistence

pathy @ A propensity to pursue goals ith energy and persistence.

!ill in treating people according to their e#otional reactionsocial !ills @ 4roficiency in #anaging relationship and building

netor!s. An ability to find co##on ground and build rapport



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More potent predictors o' careerMore potent predictors o' career

success &eresuccess &ere

Ability to handle frustrations

#anage on e#otions#anage on social s!ills

7 o y o u k n o w a n

y h i g h l y i n

t e l l i g e n t

p e o p l e w h

o a r e n 8 t s o c i a l l

y a d e p t &

Global Horizon Consultancy 9)


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!ut o' control emotions!ut o' control emotions

#pair reasoning =even s#art people

so#eti#es act stupidly>

May increase the li!elihood that chronice#otional proble#s ill result" =e.g."

clinical depression or chronic an?iety or

hostility>


"ho are we& "ho are the"ho are we& "ho are the


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others&others& %he errmann %he errmann8s whole brain model8s whole brain model

ourceI hole 0rain Model" by Ned Herr#ann




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The Hohari Windo&The Hohari Windo&

A T22, 72+ NC+&ANG &,7

AA+&N&

9:


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Self-DisclosureSelf-Disclosure



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increasing open area t#roug#increasing open area t#roug#

feedback solicitationfeedback solicitation %his 9ohari "indow model diagram is ane$ample of increasing the open area , byreduction of the blind area, which wouldnormally be achieved through the processof asking for and then receiving feedback.

:eedback develops the open area byreducing the blind area.

%he open area can also be developedthrough the process of disclosure, whichreduces the hidden area.

%he unknown area can be reduced in di;erent ways< by others!observation (which increases the blind area)= by selfdiscovery (whichincreases the hidden area), or by mutual enlightenment typically viagroup e$periences and discussion which increases the open area asthe unknown area reduces.

Global Horizon Consultancy :<


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0iscussion0iscussion

ith your tea#" ta!e a #o#ent to list don

the activities or infor#ation in the open"

hidden area" blind area and un!non area thatis directly related to your duties.

After that" e?plain to the class hat is the

i#pact of the blind" hidden and un!non area

on your perfor#ances.

hat should you do to i#prove the situationK

Global Horizon Consultancy :1


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Global Horizon Consultancy :%

=egative Self +alk for a=egative Self +alk for a


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=egative Self +alk for a=egative Self +alk for a

supervisor supervisor

Negative self tal! affects us in #any ays. t can lead to

depression" stagnation" self pity" and #any other negative

influences. All of these co#bined lead us to not live our

best possible life. o#e e?a#ples of Negative self tal!areI

I $on>t t#in+ I can trust #i%

He is tal+in& be#in$ %y bac+

He is %i*in& /it# %y ene%ies t#erfore #e %ust be one of t#e%

I $on>t t#in+ I can allo/ #i% to be better t#an %e

I s#oul$ torture #i% because #e al/ays spea+s #e +no/s

everyt#in&

Global Horizon Consultancy :'

P iti S l' t lk 'P iti S l' t lk '


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Positi-e Sel'4talk 'or aPositi-e Sel'4talk 'or a

super-isor super-isor "ositive self tal+ on t#e ot#er #an$ can lea$ a person to live t#e best lifet#at t#ey can, If instea$ of sayin& you are not &oo$ enou you say ?I

can $o t#is@, ot only /ill you ac#ieve your &oals) but you /ill be

#appier an$ #ealt#ier, "ositive self tal+ &ives you a per%anent

c#eerlea$er in your corner9 One t#at carries positive %essa&es to allareas of your life an$ #elps you %ove for/ar$, Ot#er e*a%ples inclu$eI

He needs ti#e to learn.

need to change #y style so that he listens

have to get so#e evidence before ta!ing any actions

cannot be biased toards hi# because of one silly #ista!e ,et hi# #i? ith #y ene#ies" t doesn$t #ean he is li!e that too.

a# e#otional" therefore should not let #y e#otions to flare up and #a!e

irrational decisions

Global Horizon Consultancy :(

So 3o& do ;ou C#ange from =egative toSo 3o& do ;ou C#ange from =egative toPositive Self +alk>Positive Self +alk>


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Positive Self +alk>Positive Self +alk>

!tep 1, 6ou #ust first deter#ine hen you are engaging in self tal!.

6ou can do this #any ays" but here are a fe that #ight help. !tep , 2nce e deter#ine hat our self tal! is saying e

need to adEust the beliefs behind the state#ent. e cannot believe our ne positive state#ents if e have not changedthe underlying belief or beliefs.

!tep . After you !no hat you are saying and hy you aresaying that" you can begin to reshape the ay you tal! toyourself.

0egin ith one of your state#ents and alter it to a positive

state#ent. ?I a% an&ry person@ %ay beco%e ?I a% &oo$lea$er t#at never allo/ an&er to $ictate %e@,

Global Horizon Consultancy :)

Mini case on emotionsMini case on emotions


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Mini case on emotionsMini case on emotions (s,ita is a #ar$/or+in& cler+ an$ #ave /or+e$ in a IT co%pany for %ore

t#an five years, sHe is li+e$ by t#e operators an$ #er collea&ues /ell, !#e isvery frien$ly an$ ac#ieve t#e assi&ne$ tas+s /it#out fail, i%i 2oine$ t#e

co%pany %ont#s a&o an$ #e is very close to Azlina) t#eir boss, Azlina an$

i%i are c#il$#oo$ frien$s an$ Azlina is t#e one /#o brout i%i to t#e

co%pany, Even t#ou i%i is a &oo$ /or+er) so%eti%es s#e see+s ita>s

a$vice on t#e /or+ relate$ %atters, i%ii s not frien$ly co%pare$ to ita,Furt#er%ore) ita use$ to &ui$e i%i on so%e tec#nical %atters, After one

year) Azlina pro%ote$ i%i to beco%e an supervisor /#ile ita /as &iven a

nor%al pay rise, ita /as very $isappointe$ /it# Azlina an$ ten$ere$ #er

resi&nation, Durin& t#e e*it intervie/ s#e &ave a nasty co%%ents about

Azlina>s favoritis% attitu$e to/ar$s i%i, T#e %ana&e%ent re6ueste$ ita to

reconsi$er #is resi&nation an$ /illin& to pro%ote #i% to #ier position,

=uestion' #o is /ron& an$ /#o is rit5

#at /ill you $o if you belon& to a #ier %ana&e%ent tea%5


*etting to Dno& the People Fou*etting to Dno& the People Fou


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g pg p

Cant StandCant Stand

The Tan! JConfrontational" pointed angry" pushy 5 aggressive The niper@ ait for the right ti#e to criticize

The Grenade@ ill e?plode and #ay e?pressed so#ething irrelevant

The Lno t@All J Has lo tolerance for corrections and contradictions

The Thin! They Lno T@All J Cant$ fool all the people at all the ti#e but

can full so#e people so#e ti#e

The 6es 4erson Jay yes ithout thin!ing or to safeguard personal interest

The Maybe 4erson@ Alays unsure of anything

The Nothing 4erson@4refer to be uiet" uiet and nothing but uiet.

The No 4erson@ &verything is rong" nothing can be correct

The hiner @To utter a plaintive" high@pitched" protracted sound" as in pain"

fear" supplication" or co#plaint


The 2ens o' %nderstandingThe 2ens o' %nderstanding! l'


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!ursel' !ursel'

Nor#al

one

Tas! 7orce

4assive

4eople

7ocus

Aggressive

Global Horizon Consultancy ::


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4is#bone Diagram4is#bone Diagram

#roblem

(+;ect)

Major (1st

Level) CauseMajor (1st Level) Cause

Major (1st Level) CauseMajor (1st Level) Cause

2nd Level Causes 2nd Level Causes

2nd Level Causes2nd Level Causes

Global Horizon Consultancy :;

Case$ Intimidation ClassCase$ Intimidation Class


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0iscussion0iscussion

Overvie/' Azlina has received subtle pressure to grant Ni#i special favors. Mostof this pressure has co#e fro# Ni#i" ho let Azlina !no she ould support her inturn for certain freedo#s to hich she as entitled and because of his seniority andspecial !noledge" but so#e pressure has co#e fro# outside sources in the for# ofarnings. said no initially" but since then has e?perienced the folloingI =Azlina=1>

Ni#i has been silent and sul!y =%> +os#ah co#pli#ented Azlina on her ta!ing astand on behalf of other e#ployees and ='> another supervisor arned hi# that

Ni#i$s previous supervisor resigned because Ni#i initiated a ca#paign to get rid ofher.

Azlina is considering these options to address the situationI1. tand pat and do nothing.

%. 4rotect her flan!s by going to Ni#i and as! for her co#plete support.

'. 0ac! don by granting +os#ah her reuests but to !eep the# to a #ini#u#.

(. Call Ni#i into her office and tell her you resent her efforts and that she intends to stand by his initial decision.

Global Horizon Consultancy ;<


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Global Horizon Consultancy ;1


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Global Horizon Consultancy ;%


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Global Horizon Consultancy ;'

0ealing With Gegati-e Sel'4Talk0ealing With Gegati-e Sel'4Talk


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0ealing With Gegati-e Sel' Talk0ealing With Gegati-e Sel' Talk

Global Horizon Consultancy ;(

0ealing With Gegati-e Sel'4Talk0ealing With Gegati-e Sel'4Talk


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0ealing With Gegati-e Sel' Talk0ealing With Gegati-e Sel' Talk

Global Horizon Consultancy ;)


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Methods of Counseling Therapy

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